Work Text:
Pizzapants’ POV:
*yawn*
A new day, new burdens, time to get up.
*creak creak*
*brush brush*
*SHHH* *SHHH*
*Sounds that your clothes makes when you’re put them on yourself*
Got out of bed, washed my face, made a meal and it's all done before 6:30 AM. Not a farce start but not the Stanislavski level of good. Would be better to do my chores in less than 20 minutes if I wanna be an actor. Either way, I need to go.
*door closes*
Hometown’s weather is sunless today, eh? Well, I like sunless weather, especially when I’m on work. I guess to get me to like sunny weather again, I need Azzraela to come back from college and start having hour-long conversations with me about why she likes to see the sun in the sky. Not that I mind those times coming back again.
…
Man, it’s hard to believe that Azzraela was a boy back then. Now when she's out, it’s like someone came in and corrected the painting from 86 to 90 degrees when no one saw the flaw, but everyone felt something was hanging wrong. When she first headed off to college, her looks were already much prettier than many girls in Hometown (n' believe me I'm an expert in this field). It'll be interesting to meet her again when she gets back from college. I don’t care if she gets back uglier or enters some subculture fashion. I just want to hang out with her again, in this grayish hella of-
The hell there’s so many folks near the Town Hall?
___________________
*step* *step*
*step* *step*
Oh, it seems like the Mayor giving a speech, right, there were some posters in town about this event. What time is this?
*peek*
6:36...I guess I have some time to listen to her if it’s something...well useful like work conditions or another festival matter.
M: “...unrelated to a previous topic, I'm here to notify residents of a solution to the town's labour crisis due to a lack of jobs. Thanks to our collaboration with inventor Antsony Jobs, I am pleased to present to you «THE EMPLOYER 2008».“
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vhu9yec38YtN8lBXzjVwQztrI5yzhWga/view?usp=sharing
(horrific image from the Hometown newspaper’s article, that would appear later)
Th-the hell is this ‘bout?
M: “Now at every crisis we will have to make a sacrifice in the form of one male worker with the lowest wage in the city and according to the spells that are cast on this machine, it should prevent the crisis from continuing.“
The crowd: “IS THAT THE SOLUTION?”; “Omg Mayor you’re a genius!”; “CALLOWEEN, IT’S AWFUL, WHY DID YOU SIGN UP TO THIS?”; “Screw the poors!”; “Hail jobs! Hail the Mayor!”.
The hell...it’s...it’s…
M: “Quite! No objection. We'll text whoever needs to prepare for the sacrifice. The victim's information will be strictly classified until the time of the sacrifice. Meeting adjourned.’’
...
...
...OH MY GOD I’M WORKING ON MINIMUM WAGE! It can’t be true. What’s happening? Why is this allowed?
*bzeen~*
I-it’s my cellphone...is...is this what I’m thinking about?
SMS: “We are sorry to inform you that you have been selected as a victim for ‘The Employer 2008™’. Please report to the police department at 9:00 a.m. and show this message to one of the officers. Failure to report will result in the police obtaining a warrant to raid your residence. You have signed an undertaking not to leave the city.“
N-no! A-Azzra, m-my actor career, I can’t, I CAN’T DIE NOW, I WON’T DIE NOW.
I NEED TO TALK TO THE MAYOR.
___________________
Receptionist: “Please sir, you can’t speak to the Mayor witho-”
P: “I DON’T CARE, I NEED TO TALK TO HER!”
Rec: “Sir, I’m gonna call security if you don’t stop this scene”
*door opens*
M: “Explain the cause of the noise’“
THERE SHE IS.
Rec: “This young man wanted to talk with you very agg-”
P: “I DON’T WANNA DIE, MRS. CALLOWEEN, STOP IT!”
M: *sigh* “You precisely know that I wouldn’t do this. Think about the jobs that this machine could bring to us. Our Hometown economy will grow again, our children will grow in joy and prosperity under the protection of The Angel. And in any case, you're the perfect candidate for this role.“
P: “P-perfect candidate???”
M: *smirk* “But of course! Male, not in college, young, and no close relatives to care about your sacrifice.”
NO-NO-NO-NO, I CAN’T DIE, I-I CAN’T. THINK PANTS, THINK!
M: “And now if you excuse me I have work to do, Goodbye Mr.-”
P: WAIT, I WANNA CAME OUT.”
M: “...What?”
P: “I uh, I actually was self-aware that I’m actually a transgender woman, uh, 2 years ago, yeah! I just was too embarrassed to come out those years!”
M: “You expect me to fall into those fairy tales?”
P: “Nuh-huh! If a machine gets a wrong sacrifice, it would cause unintended DIRE consequences!”
M: “Foolishness! It’s not work like this! The matter is you’re-”
P: “Are gonna imply that trans women aren't a women Mrs. Elected Mayor?”
YES! SHE’S SCARED
M: “Y-you fresh...phuh, fine, if you want so, you need to prove that you’re in fact a trans woman.”
YES!
P: “Heh, sure, give me the long list of the medical experts that I need to check.”
M: “Bwuhuhu, oh no.” *smirk* “You won't be going through any medical specialists. But what you would going through, it’s a «DEATH TRACK OF CONFIRMATION THE TRANSNATIONALITY OF A CITIZEN», short for DTCTTC”
What.
P: “W-what?”
M: “You'll have to take a course that will confirm or deny your trans identity. Ask the receptionist for a list of the obstacles you will have to pass and in what time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work»
*door closes*
…
…
I hoped that I wouldn’t face any life-matter decisions in my life after…
…
‘kay, let’s check this arbitrary plot device of my life.
*sigh*
If my life was a script and Tennessee Williams read this, he would throw this into flames because it has “too much drama”.
___________________
‘kay, let’s see…
List:
«REQUIRED ATTIRE:
Blouse, pink color
Crop Top
Knee-length skirt
Dark see-through tights
Heels, gray
Minimum of 4 hairpins in hair»
*sigh*
Am I not even free to dress myself for this? Like, “Blouse, pink color”. “Dark see-through tights” and “Minimum of 4 hairpins in hair” are really necessary? Can’t I just like, wear those really long pants that some hot chicks are wearing on TV? Or a...less opened clothes, like, I dunno, goth jacket? ‘kay, leading forward.
List:
«The obstacle course will consist of the following activities:
G@RL TALK!NG
- The test taker will be required to have a knowledgeable conversation with a member of their preferred gender and not be caught that you are not a cisgender woman. The testee's speech should not contain topics that are of interest to men. The subject should talk more about family, household, child rearing. Passing time: No more than 16 minutes
!Make Up training!
-The trainee will have to pass the Make Up competition and outperform 30% of the contestants according to the results of the jury. Passing time: Unlimited
Good Behaviour Test (GBT)!
-The examinee will be required to pass the Good Behaviour Test and be as flexible as possible to all social groups regardless of their behaviour. With a 78% positive score, the test taker will be given the opportunity to be referred by their preferred pronouns. Passing time: 2 hours
To pass the DTCTTC you must pass all 3 activities on a positive.
Information about the times and activities can be found on the back of the list.”
Ourgh...such a pain in the tuna. Well, it’s not that I wasn't born to be an actor for all of this. Yeah, I can, it would be my first premiere as an actor! It takes a lot of strength to play a different gender in a play. If I could pass this DTCTTC, I may even pass the college’s actor class, the college where Azzraela is…
…
‘kay, let’s start training.
…
Wait, who can I ask to help me with this? Uhh, crap. Not Bratty n’ Catty, they’re would make fun of me to the rest of my days. Urgh, think Pants, THINK!
…
…
...
May...be...Toriel?
___________________
*knock* *knock*
Urgh, can’t believe I need to do this, I hope she will understand.
*doors opens*
Toriel: “Oh, hello Pizzapants! Nice to see Azzraela's old pals, how are you?“
P: “Oh, um, hi Ms. Toriel, I’m uh…”
Just do it.
“Wanna to talk about something”
T: “Oh, well all right, come on in the house.”
___________________
Be in the Azzraela’s house again would be a good time of nostalgia if it wasn’t bc of the mess that I stepped into.
T: “Do you want some tea? Pie? Both?”
P: “Um, tea, just tea please.”
T: “All right.”
…
Before Azzraela’s transition we used to hang out in her room. Nothing special, just playing some games, discussing stuff, chicks etc.
...chicks, huh? I bet she hates remembering those days because of this, now it looks strange from today’s perspective. She probably hates me.
…
I need to say sorry to her when we meet.
T: “Tea is ready!”
P: “Oh, th-thanks ms’ Toriel.”
*slurp*
T: “How’s the tea?”
Frankly, it doesn't compare to her ex-husband tea techniques but it wasn’t bad at all, so.
P: “It’s good!”
T: “Tee-hee, thank you! You could even say I’m a TEAcher on tea making.”
...the pun has no sense or humor value but I feel so bad at this point, so I just.
P: *chuckle* “Yeah, true.”
T: “So, what do you want to talk about?”
P: “Oh, well, do you remember today's meeting near the Town Hall?”
T: “Oh, no, I was in the school at this time. Didn’t have a chance to visit. I was about to ask some neighbors about this meeting. So, what’s about it?”
P: “Well, she presented the solution to our job crisis in the town called ‘The Employer 2008’. Every crisis our town needs to sacrifice one male worker with the lowest wage to help our town.”
T: “What?”
P: “I’m not kidding, there’s a machine near the Town Hall if you want to look at it.”
T: “So...you want to tell me that this horrible machine is…”
P: “Yes.”
T: “And...oh no, Pants, are you-”
P: “...yes.”
T: “It’s, it’s outrageous! Has the Mayor just approved this? Why? It’s it’s, disgusting! I don’t understand!”
P:”But after some talking, I now have the solution!”
T: “Oh? The solution?”
Here we go.
P: “I lied about being a transfem, so that I couldn’t fit into the sacrifice requirements. But now I need to pass the DTCTTC.”
T: “The what?”
P: “Uh, the thing that if you pass it, you can be counted officially as transgender, if I understand it correctly. Here, check this list.”
T: “That sounds fishy from Mayor...all right, let’s see…”
Phew, so far things are going well, thank The Angel…
I hope she will help me.
*throws the list on the table*
T: “What is this?”
Uh.
P: “Uh, the tests I'd have to go through to be officially recognized.“
T: “It’s an insult, not a test. I can't believe she’s giving you this. I’m gonna take a day off tomorrow for the special counter meeting with our ‘job solutioneer’.”
P: “Uh, yeah, sure but can you help me first?”
T: “Oh, I’m sorry, yeah, what help do you need?”
P: “Well, as you can say I don’t have much experience with being a girl, so. Can you help me with this DTCTTC?”
T: “Oh, I would b glad but”
But?
P: “But?”
T: “Azzraela is coming tomorrow, are you sure you don't want to ask her?”
WHAT.
P: “SHE’S COMING TOMORROW??? Oh, uh, I’m sorry for yelling”
T: *giggle* “It’s alright! Yes, you can talk to her at dusk tomorrow, I think. I’ll tell her to meet you in your apartment!”
P: “Oh, uhm, thank you very much Ms. Toriel! You’re the best!”
T: “You're very welcome!”
___________________
It’s 5 PM already. I think I’ll take a little nap after a tough work day.
*knock knock*
...or not.
Ugh, it was a while since I saw her the last time. I’ll need to not forget to tell her sorry for some awkward moments in the past.
*doors opens*
Azzraella: “Omg. Helloo Pizzapaaants!”
P: “Oh, wow gal, we’re only met n’ you already hugging me! I see the college didn't suck the juice out of you, eh?”
A: “Nope!”
P: “Come in.“
‘kay, she looks completely different than she did the first time she went to college. Her skills in clothing choices have increased greatly, she has started experimenting with palettes and types of clothing more. She looks wonderful. I've always been attracted to theatrical clothes. Quite an interesting method of telling a character's story without words. Some theater professionals can't play their roles until they wear contextually appropriate clothing. Unfortunately, men's clothes outside of the theater are pretty faded n’ the ones that aren't, are expensive for my pocket, so I make up for it by appreciating the appearance of all sorts of notables, especially women.
...
Someday I will look good.
___________________
A: “Oh The Angel, you can’t even imagine how many things I want to discuss with you!”
Honestly, me too.
“But Mum said you wanted to talk about something important?”
P: “Yea, I wanna. So, you know the whole story about ‘The employer 2008’?”
A: “Mhm, even seen it. Mum with probably half of the town terrorizing this machine right now.”
Eh? They're protests in town? I was probably deep in my thoughts and didn't notice that.
A: “Poor Ms. Undyne and Napstablook.”
P: “Hey, never say sorry to the cops in my residence!”
A: “Pwahaha.”
She smiles, it’s nice.
P: “Joking, joking. So, I came up with the plan to pretend to be a transfem, play a role n’ master my skills' but this ‘Always doing all for good sake’ mayor pants told me to complete the DTCTTC to be officially claimed as one. So, I’m asking for your help.”
A: “I see, alright, sure! What do you need to do?”
Great, she would help!
P: “First we need to deal with ’required attire’, so we need Blouse, pink color; crop top; knee-length skirt; dark see-through tights; heels, gray; minimum of 4 hairpins in hair...argh such a fashion nightmare do you agree?”
A: “Umm, yes...it’s quite...specific choice of clothes, why do you need to wear exactly those types of clothes?”
P: “I dunno, if I could choose by myself I would wear something way better for myself!”
A: “Oh? You have some better suggestions on how you would dress for DTCTTC?”
P: “Well, yeah. I would wear some long-length trousers...hmm, maybe in black color, goth-like jacket, t-shirt from ‘Femsatanyl’ rock band n’ more ‘The Phantom of the opera’ look from the old plays. Yeah, it would be awesome…”
A: “And it’s all about being in girlish clothes, right?”
P: “Oh, well, yeah? I mean, that’s the point?”
Why did she point that out?
A: “Hmm...alright nevermind, let’s continue.”
Oh no, am I doing something stupid or weird again?
P: “Hey buddy, could you tell me if it’s bothering you. Y’know, you’ve...give me a lot of basic socialization n’ kindness that I’ve never experienced before since we became buddies. I wanna know if I did something wrong.”
A: “Nonono, it’s alright just...do you always have a thing for women's clothes?”
Does she think I;m a pervert or what? Uhhh...it’s pointless, I need to tell her the truth, she would help me.
P: “I mean, I...wanna be an actor, I like to look at actor’s outfits n’ women outfits are usually more complicated in details n’ ehhh…”
A: “No, I mean usual clothes not the theatre clothes.’’
P: “Uhhhh, I don’t know? Like I agree that women's clothes are more complicated, more fashionable, more colorful, more...cool, yeah.”
A: “Hmm, I see. One more question.”
Eh?
A: “Do you remember that ‘Pizza girl’ scammer incident with you?”
Oh, for the hell's sake…
P: “Yes, how do I forget this.”
A: “And you remember that bikini photo?”
P: “Well, yeah?”
A: “I’m always fixated on how you described that photo. You...described how the bikini looked awesome, how they looked like they were made from an elite French brand, described the seams, colour, composition, how comfortable they looked, etc. But, no word about her biologic features that I was expecting to hear.”
I’m sc-scared, I don’t even understand what’s the point she is trying to make.
A: “I was thought that it’s just your thing, some fetish that is very rare but harmful and even interesting to have as a hobby but…”
*sigh*
“Are you sure you don't want to be a girl?”
Wh-what? S-sure am I? I-I am sure? I’m completely sure? I’m...my parents...my….me...I’m
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1W_inGgwr_cX7EpWDHuKjL4sXAPAj6SDQ/view?usp=sharing
P: “I’m not sure...I...what? I’m...what? Why I’m...it should be simple but, wait…”
A: “Pants, lay on a couch please. Close you eyes and deeply think about it, it’s very important to understand your feelings.”
P: “O-okay.”
*sofa creak*
Breath and out, close my eyes.
A: “I’m always here for you, take your time.”
___________________
Breath and out.
What was that? Why did this question suddenly hit me so bad? I never had a problem with my gender, didn't I? Shouldn’t I have had those feelings before, in my childhood? Oh, childhood, ‘course, I didn't even get basic socialization from those people but surely I would discover in myself gender discomfort. How much did I even question myself? Before Azzra?
‘kay but...it’s all indirect evidence. So what I’m...very interested in is women's clothes? So every boy does! Azzra said that it might be just a fetish of some sort of. Yeah, it’s just...it’s just…
...why did I imagine putting myself into those clothes? I’m...a femboy? But I...don’t really like being as one. I;m a crossdresser! Sure! Just a pervert that likes to wear women's clothes, yea, yea...yea…
...but, wait. I was happy to think about wearing it? No, I-I was, The Angel, I was happy.
I remember the first time on my own.
Catty n’ Bratty visited me with Azzra. They had a little fight n’ Bratty ruined Catty’s tights. She asked for a shower, Azzra n’ Bratty went on a car to the mall to buy some clothes. After that, everything was alright, they’re leaved our little party in good mood after incident but, but.
Catty forgot her wet tights.
I...I...felt strange wearing them, what was that? Shame? Lust? Embarrassment? All in one? I don't know. But I’m pretty sure that in that mirror I had a small smile on my face. I smiled. Why? I liked it….the hell I LIKED IT, I enjoyed it!
I was so ashamed to think about it again, after that, I called Catty to pick up her stuff. She was so red because she didn’t know that I did something way worse.
…
…
So, there it is? I’m a woman?
…
…
…
…
..Yes, I’m.
*exhale*
P: “Azzra...are you here?”
A: “Yes yes, I’m here!”
P: “...water...please.”
A: “On my way!”
___________________
*slurp* *slurp*
*slurp* *slurp*
*slurp*
*exhale*
A: “So, do you want to talk about it or you need some break?”
P: “Nah, I’m fine.”
A: “All right, so, what’s your conclusion?”
P: “...I’m a girl, Azzra, like you.”
...she smiles.
A: “I see. Well hello Pizzapanties~ I’m Azzraela!”
Pizzapanties, huh? That sounds sick, yeah, heheh.
P: “Hello.”
A: “So what would be your pronouns?”
The Angel, another tough question in a row…
P: “Um, I think she/her would be fine.”
A: “All right!” *giggle*
She helped me again. She helped me to discover myself. She did it again. N’ what I did to her? Her embarrassment reminds me of hanging out in a room, talking about ‘chicks’ n’ ‘boy stuff’. I was even surprised how Toriel still tolerated me, even being such a mess of a person. I wouldn’t have done anything without Azzra. Would be somewhere out of Hometown with those people n’ slowly turn into the people I despised. I’m such an anchor for her. I need to say sorry.
P: “Azzra.”
A: “Mmm?”
P: “I’m deeply sorry.”
A: “Wh- for what???”
P: “For everything. You've always helped me, helped me become a better person, put up with me and my antics. I only gave you embarrassing memories of our past days before your transition. All I was doing was being an anchor for you while you put up with me and gave me lessons, hopes and dreams. I deeply apologize for all you have endured. I am not worthy of your kindness that you gave me, I-’’
*smooch*
Wh-
Is-is she just…kissed me??? What?
A: “I think you forgot that I wanted to discuss some stuff before but got distracted with DTCTTC? So, how about you make some tea, and we discuss it in all details?”
She’s making her smug face…
…
I see. It seems I still need to learn about more stuff that I expected in my life, not only actor skills but also my true relationship with Azzra. I need to ask her more about being a girl stuff etc, what clothes to wear, where to get proper treatment etc. Also maybe change my job to waitressing at the QC’s.
N’ after all of this, I see it clearly,
That DTCTTC was a myth.