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“Stop. Stop squirming— Damnit ponyboy! Sit the hell down!” Darry’s voice echoed across the house. The ringing in Pony’s ears didn’t stop until Soda came crashing down the stairs, a deep scowl, the same dark eyes that only ever came out when a Soc was nearby.
“The hell you yelling at ‘em like that for, Darry?” Soda scoffed.
“He won’t stop movin, Soda. Tryin’ to cut his hair evenly and get him right but he—“
“Ain’t a good enough reason to raise your voice. Don’t ever speak to him that way. I’m not playing, Darry.” Soda rubbed Pony’s back, a secondhand apology on Darry’s behalf.
“It’s okay. I should’ve stopped moving so much.” Pony scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. He felt bad for getting Darry in trouble with Soda, it really was his fault. He was too excited to see his haircut in the mirror and he kept jumping up and moving forward. It couldn’t have been easy to cut his hair like that.
“No. No. I’m sorry, Pony. Soda’s right.” Darry sighed and dropped the scissors on top of the counter.
Soda hummed in satisfaction and left back upstairs.
“Darry, it was me. I don’t want you to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.” Pony pouted.
“Pony, baby, oh god.. did i scare you that bad? You’re crying, Hon.” Darry rushed over and cupped Pony’s face. His sweet brother, he couldn’t believe he’d hurt him.
Pony was stunned. He hadn’t even realized that he’d started crying. Really, it was just a few tears. The yelling startled him. After the near-death-drowning incident he’s been very sensitive to loud noises, especially yelling. It reminds him too much of when his brothers found him, half dead, limp, begging for air. He shivered at the memory.
Darry sighed and pulled a chair out, taking a seat. “C’mere, kiddo.” He patted his lap.
Pony blushed. He can’t remember the last time he sat on Darry’s lap— probably years ago, when he was still really little. Pony slow-walked over and sat on Darry’s knee. The position was awkward. He might as well just sit in a chair himself, since he’s barely sitting on Darry’s lap at all.
“Oh, come on.” Darry rolled his eyes and hooked his arm around Pony’s waist, pulling him in further until Pony was sitting with his back to Darry’s stomach. “There we go.” Darry hummed.
“Listen, Pony… you know i love you, yeah?” Darry carded a hand through Pony’s hair.
“I know. I know.” Pony melted into Darry’s hold.
“And I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, little buddy. Not ever. All I want is the best for you, you know that. I shouldn’t have raised my voice. I know it scares you. I’m real damn sorry, Pony. You didn’t deserve that. Gotta be scary hearing your brother yell the same way he did when he found you… well, you know…” Darry nearly trailed off. “But, point is, i'm sorry. I love you. It won’t happen again. And if it does, get Soda to skin me, yeah?”
Pony grinned and nodded. “Yeah. I will. It’s okay, Darry, I promise.”
“Good. I love you. Never forget it.” Darry pushed a few strands of hair from Pony’s sweaty forehead.
“I love you Da—.. rry. Darry.” Pony bit his lip. Did he almost call his brother dad?
“It’s okay, kiddo. It’s just us. It’s just us.” Darry whispered into Pony’s ear. “Soda doesn’t have to know, buddy. You wanna call me dad, you call me dad.”
Pony’s breath picked up. Darry could never fill the spot that their father did. Just like Dally could never fill the spot that Johnny’s parents couldn’t fill. And yet, it just felt so… right. “Please don’t tell him. He wouldn’t let me live it down.” Pony flushed into his hands.
“I won’t, I won’t. Like I said, it’s just you and me.” Darry wiped away the remaining stray tears from Pony’s face.
“Okay, Dad.” Pony immediately regretted it. It sounded so wrong saying it out loud, almost as if he were saying that his own father wasn’t good enough. And that’s not true at all. His father was a good man. So why did he feel the need to get fatherly support from his brother?
He knew why.
Every kid needs a father. What do you do when your father is dead? Darry was the closest thing Pony had to a dad now. If he thought too hard about it he’d start to think about how Darry had no one to call dad and he was alone, fatherless, yet father to all. So he decided not to think about it.
Darry peppered a light kiss to Pony’s temple and smiled. “You and soda, you boys are my everything. Everything I do is to give you both a good life. Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanna do, baby. The last thing.”