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Wood creaked under Link’s boots as he stepped between rows of perfectly straight arrows, admiring the points on the tips and the feathers on the ends. Really nice arrows like this were a necessary part of being a hero in the service of the king - and even better, he could put it on the king’s tab! While he disliked the pampered lifestyle of a glorified rock bodyguard, he had to admit that some of the perks of the job were worth keeping.
At the opposite wall from the arrows laid the fletcher’s collection of bows. These weren’t made in house, but instead were sourced from across Hyrule and the surrounding kingdoms and tribes. Elegant, silver Zora bows sparkled like the moon. Curved, gem-and-gold covered Gerudo bows gleamed in the sun. Simple wooden bows for hunting rested among fine recurve bows. From the beautiful to the mundane, it was everything an archer could want. And while Link would hesitate to call himself an expert archer, since he far preferred to use his sword whenever possible, he appreciated the necessity of archery whenever he got the chance to practice.
As he went up to the front counter to put a new dozen or so arrows on the castle’s tab, he caught sight of a night-black bow just behind the fletcher. It sat on a nest of red fabric, almost like a throne for the magnificence of its shape. The ends were carved into the likeness of ravens. The grip was wrapped tightly with deep violet leather. Perhaps most stunning of all, the string that held the bow tight was as thin as spider silk, and just as iridescent.
Link’s mouth watered just looking at it.
Seeming to notice Link’s enthusiasm, the fletcher glanced over her shoulder, trying to discern what had piqued his attention. A light laugh bubbled in her chest. “You like it? I just got it in this morning. It’s a magic bow. My supplier says it was crafted by a powerful witch with an affinity for archery. All the arrows fly exactly where you need them to, regardless of the skill of the archer.” To prove her point, she took the bow from the nest of red, showing the details to Link a moment before grabbing one of the arrows and taking a loose aim at the target mounted to the back of her shop door. Based on Link’s estimation, the shot would go wild, missing the target by a mile. But when she loosed the string, the arrow snapped forward and plunged straight into the bull’s eye.
Link whistled low. “That’s one hell of a weapon. And she’s gorgeous, to boot. How much for her?”
A bit amused, the fletcher set the bow back on its nest. “Two hundred and fifty rupees.”
Link’s chest wheezed at such an amount. That was more than he saved in six months! He scratched the patches of awkward stubble on his chin, thinking. “Can you put it on the castle’s tab?”
The fletcher shook her head. “No can do. I’m not parting with this beauty for anything less than rupees in hand. Not even the king’s credit is enough for that.”
Deflating a little, Link grumbled and picked up the score of arrows he was permitted to buy. “Damn. That’s a shame.” He gave one last, longing look to the beautiful bow before he turned to leave.
The sun shone onto the cobbled stone pathways of Castle Town. On Link’s rare days off from guarding the Triforce of Wisdom, he took the opportunity, whenever possible, to spend his not-so-hard-earned wages in the local shops. A basket of snacks for his private picnic down by his favorite fishing hole swung on his arm as he and Spryte exited the shop, trying not to let his disappointment show. His thoughts traveled back to the beautiful new magic bow the fletcher had just gotten in stock. If not for the price tag, it would have been his in a heartbeat. Alas, it was not to be.
“Sure is a nice day out, huh, Spryte?” Link commented, breathing in the fresh, summer air.
His fairy flitted up above him, her wings catching the sun’s rays and glowing. “It’s so warm out! We better find a nice shady spot for our picnic, or it will get too hot to enjoy it!”
The days got longer and brighter as they neared the solstice. Activity flooded into Hyrule in preparation for the summer festival. With so many tourists in town today, Link was hardly surprised to see a group of them gathered around what appeared to be a poster hanging on the wall. He was about to walk entirely by when he heard their conversation.
“Three hundred rupees?” One of the tourists gasped. “That’s a small fortune!”
Suddenly, Link felt the need to pause and linger a moment.
“For the fastest horse and rider in Hyrule,” said another, their voice deeper than the last. “Too bad I’m not a horseman, or I’d enter the princess’s competition myself.”
Now his attention was fully grasped! He shouldered his way into the crowd, sneaking between their excited whispers and speculations to catch a glimpse of what had encaptured them.
A poster hung on the wall of a bakery, slightly peeling off in the humidity as the glue on the back came loose. In big letters, the poster announced a race to be held the next day outside Castle Town’s walls, encouraging all the fastest riders in Hyrule to try their luck. The first prize winner would receive three hundred rupees! And the best part of all, they’d get a wreath around their neck from the princess herself!
Ducking back out of the crowd, Link grinned, imagining what he could do with that much money. It could certainly buy a great many snacks - or a magic bow! Link rushed back over to Spryte in excitement. “Did you hear that, Spryte? Three hundred rupees! That’s enough to buy that magic bow and still have plenty left over!”
Spryte sighed. “You know, not to tell you how to live your life, but you’d have plenty of money to buy magic weapons if you didn’t spend it on sweets and trashy novels.”
“Wh-?!” Link sputtered, blushing up to his ears. “Wait, you said you couldn’t read Hylian!”
“Whoops,” Spryte shrugged, grinning. “So, I’m guessing that means a rain check on our picnic?”
For now, Link would try to ignore the way the tips of his ears burned at Spryte’s revelation. As it turned out, his alibi that he was buying science books was not quite believable. In his defense, he was sure there was some merit to the anatomy lessons. “I’m afraid so, at least for now. I’m going to talk to Zelda about this tournament she’s hosting. I can’t believe she didn’t mention it to me!”
“Of course I didn’t mention it to you,” Zelda chided, busying herself with reorganizing the books in her study. “You’re the hero.”
The unfairness of the world manifested in no lovelier form than that of his frigid princess. He whined, waving his arms for emphasis on his very thought-out points. “What does that have to do with anything? It’s just a race, not a sword-fighting contest!”
Her ponytail whipped around when she snapped her head to glare at him. “As much as it pains me to compliment you, I cannot allow someone of your skill level to participate in this competition. It’s an amateur race, Link. The other riders wouldn’t stand a chance against you and Catherine.”
“Come on, Princess!” Link whined again, more miserable than ever. “Think of poor Catherine! She’ll never get her moment in the winner’s circle if you have anything to say about it.”
Full, glossed lips pursed as she narrowed her glare even further. “Catherine is a horse. She doesn’t care about anything other than open pastures and apples.”
“Ghh!” Link gasped, slapping his chest in dramatic offense. “How could you say such a thing about the best, most loyal steed in all of Hyrule? She’s far more than an ordinary horse! She’s a true champion, a warrior! And she deserves a chance to race!” Just then, another idea popped into his head. He sighed in defeat, shoving his hands into his pockets. “But if you really don’t think it’s fair for me to race-”
“I really don’t,” Zelda confirmed, placing the next book onto the shelf without sparing him another glance.
“-then what about if I found another jockey?” Link offered.
Pausing her work, Zelda seemed to consider this possibility for a moment. She looked down at the book in her hand, as if a treatise on Medicinal Fungi and Herbs was going to give her the answers she needed. “Well…” she began, clearly disliking the words even as she spoke them, “if you aren’t the rider, I guess it’s okay.”
“Woohoo!” Link exclaimed, punching the air, then quickly recomposed himself with a cough into his fist. “I mean, uh, thank you, Your Highness. For Catherine’s sake.”
As the riders gathered the next day to take their places at the starting line, a mysterious stranger walked among them, leading the hero’s horse by the reins. Some say he was uncommonly handsome, others that he was uncommonly strong, charming, or…well, Link was sure he could make up a few more rumors about Ravio.
The man in the violet cloak kept his hood down when Princess Zelda stepped up to the stage to announce the beginning of the race. Even with a fake mustache haphazardly glued to his lip, Link was taking no chances.
“Good morning, horsemen and women of Hyrule!” Zelda called, waving at the assembled crowd. “I’m so honored that you’ve all come to participate in Hyrule’s first annual midsummer race! As you’ve probably heard, the race will be around Hyrule Castle. The route has been marked by pendants, so you shouldn’t lose your way even through the wooded portion.” Her eyes seemed to linger on Link a moment, causing him to pull down the awkward rabbit-shaped cloak even further over his face. “Alright, mount your horses!”
“This is it, Catherine,” Link whispered, keeping his head low as he climbed onto his horse’s back, giving her neck a few pats for good luck. He had every confidence that they would win the race by a landslide. He’d even cleaned out her hooves the day before and put on new shoes! She was like a new lady!
“Get set!”
Scanning the crowd, Link felt all the confidence in the world. His competition was mostly farmers, some teenagers, a few older riders who had probably just taken up the sport not long ago. For an amateur group of riders, even this assortment looked lackluster. The rider next to him could barely stay on his horse! The poorly-controlled mount was snorting and stamping already.
“We’ve so got this,” Link breathed, laughing a little to himself. “That three hundred rupees, and the magic bow, are as good as mine.”
“GO!”
Like a flash, Catherine took off, responding to Zelda’s shout and Link’s heel digging into her flank. Rider and horse kept low, zooming faster than the others right from the start. Link laughed, feeling all the success of the victory already.
First up was the gate of Castle Town. With the race starting just on the inside, this first bottleneck would decide the order of the race and, hopefully, stall the faster riders behind him.
Catherine’s hooves beat against the drawbridge, rattling the iron chains that would raise and lower the gate with the rising and falling of the sun. A bright red pendant whipped in the breeze, posted atop a thin pole along the path. Two more stood not far from it, marking the deviation from the main road onto the trail that encircled the castle walls.
Even if Link hadn’t known this route like the back of his hand, it still would have been far too easy. The ground was flat and the trail was far enough from the moat that flooding was never an issue. This trail was also frequented by the guard, and so kept clear of monsters and wild animals. Fitting for an amateur race, but hardly satisfying for him.
As Link and Catherine neared the next set of markers, guiding them toward Lon Lon Ranch, Link caught a glimpse of something strange in the distance. A high-pitched squeaking emanated from the woods to his right.
Suddenly, a flurry of leathery wings burst from the trees! Sharp, tiny fangs and a single burning eye swooped down on him, startling Catherine, who whinnied in fright and ran even faster, veering off the path.
“Whoa, easy girl! They’re just keese!” Link tried to soothe her, but to no avail. Taking his sword from its scabbard, he took aim at the keese as they circled around, ready to dive at him again. “Sorry guys, but you’re driving me batty!”
With two quick zaps, the keese exploded into a mist of shadow, sent back to wherever Ganon had summoned them from. Link shook his head, turning Catherine back on the path. The other riders were still far behind, but this detour had slowed him considerably. The stranger on the unruly horse was gaining on him. Link kicked Catherine’s flank again, picking up speed as he bent down by her neck. “What are keese doing out during the daytime anyway? That’s really weird of them.”
The familiar fences and beasts of Lon Lon Ranch soon came into view. The ranch hand girl wasn’t out this afternoon, as Link could usually catch her fiery red hair any time of the day or night. Some part of him hoped his friend would be here to cheer him on, but then again, if any of the other riders caught her cheering the name ‘Link’, they might get a little suspicious.
Just as Link was about to leap over the last fence and bound over to the next leg of the race, a shriek of terror pierced the air.
“Malon!” Link called, pulling back on Catherine’s reins and abruptly changing course. In the back of his mind, he knew he still had a good enough lead that this detour wouldn’t lose him the race. But, even if it did, he had a friend to save!
On the far side of the farmhouse, a beacon of auburn, tangled with hay straw, waved a pitchfork at a group of moblins. “Get out of here, you awful things!” She yelled, jabbing her pitchfork at the closest one, but it dodged out of the way and cackled, still holding one of her prized cuccos in its clawed fingers.
“I’ve got it!” Link shouted, taking aim at the monster nearest him. Even if he hit the cucco by accident, it wouldn’t hurt the bird - his magic only hurt monsters. Now, the bird might call its friends to come and attack him back, but he’d do his best to avoid such an outcome. Firing a beam of magic, the moblin nearest Malon yelped in surprise before vanishing in a shadowy cloud.
Three more shots and the rest were soon taken care of, leaving Malon to catch her breath. She did not, however, lower her pitchfork. From beneath a tangle of auburn, her distrusting eyes glared up at him. But, the longer she looked, her expression shifted from skeptical to confused. “Link?” She lowered her weapon, frowning. “What in the goddess’s name are you wearing?”
Blinking at her, Link remembered his very clever disguise. “Oh! Right. The princess said I couldn’t participate in the big race, but she said Catherine could, so long as I found a different rider. And, well, here’s Ravio!” He declared, trying to subtly smoosh his glued mustache back into place.
Her lips pressed together, and for a moment Link wondered if she was trying to contain a laugh. “It’s, uh, quite the disguise!” She snorted a little, pretending to cough. “No way the princess will see through that one!”
If Link didn’t know any better, he’d think his friend was making fun of him. For now, Link would choose not to believe it. “Where’d those moblins come from?”
Malon shrugged, stabbing the end of the pitchfork into the grass beside her. “Beats me. Monsters usually leave this place alone. I heard you racers coming through and ran out to meet you, but then these guys showed right up and snatched poor Honey!” She crouched down, picking up the trembling mass of feathers. “Poor thing. Not a thought in her head and nothing but love in her heart.” She gave the startled bird a kiss on the head. “But we’re safe now, thanks to you.” She offered Link a bright smile. “Now get back to your race!”
“Oh! Right!” Link nodded to her, turning Catherine back around. “Glad to see you’re alright!” He called over his shoulder as he sprinted back to the trail.
To his dismay, a few of the other riders had snuck ahead of him while he was busy dealing with the moblins at Lon Lon Ranch. He ground his teeth and kicked Catherine’s flank again, trying to increase her speed to catch up. “Come on, girl! These guys are pushovers! We can take them, easy! Just a little faster, girl!”
Hot, snorting breath flew from Catherine’s nostrils. Her muscles, powerful and firm, thrust them forward through the other riders who had grouped up. Several of them yelped in fright as Catherine shoved her way by them, heedless of the danger.
Only one rider remained ahead of them now: the unruly gray stallion and its awkward rider. For a horse so seemingly uncoordinated, it was making a lot of progress.
The ground beneath them squelched, Catherine’s hooves kicking up thick, oozing mud. She rode on, darting between patches of dry, hard ground. Link’s brows furrowed. It hadn’t rained in days. Where was all this mud coming from?
TH-WHUMP!
From the moat, a spray of water accompanied a small stone, spat out of the mouth of an octarock that jumped up, its beady eyes set on Link and Catherine.
“What, is this a race for the monsters now? Which one is gonna piss me off the most?” Link groaned, taking out his sword again and firing several blasts at the octarock, all of which missed, Link’s aim jostled by Catherine’s unsteady canter. He wobbled on her back, grabbing hold of the saddlehorn to try to keep himself level. “Stay still, you little pest!”
Finally, another blast from the sword struck true, de-energizing the octarock. Link let out a sigh of relief. “Whew. That’s so weird. The guards are usually really good at keeping this track clear of monsters, being so near the castle. And they definitely would have done a patrol right before the race, knowing there’d be a bunch of newbies on the route,” he thought aloud, steadily gaining on the lone rider ahead of him.
The rider reached out a hand, releasing the reins of his mount. In his spindly fingers, he carried a small wand of gnarled wood.
“Huh?” Link rode up closer, watching the rider carefully. “There’s no way that-” He frowned, deciding to risk it by pointing his sword at the mysterious rider. “Either this will sting a little and he’ll get mad at me for trying to sabotage him, or I’ll save us all a lot of trouble by nabbing an evil wizard.” He shrugged. “I can live with either option.”
A surge of magic shot toward the rider, striking him in the back.
“YEEEOWWWW!” The rider yowled and hissed, his hood falling back to reveal swine-like green ears.
“Ganon?!” Link gaped, too stunned by the revelation to even start processing it. By the time the evil wizard turned and glared at him, snout curled in fury, Link had lined up the second shot. “I don’t know what you’re doing in a horse race, but you’re not getting anywhere close to Zelda!”
“What are you doing in a horse race?!” Ganon retorted, deflecting a blast of magic with a quick shield. “What a ridiculous disguise!”
Invading Hyrule, threatening the Triforce, summoning monsters, all of that was par for the course for Ganon. But insulting his outfit? Now that was crossing the line! “Look who’s talking, pig-face!”
Their horses matched in speed, the riders battling with each other, magical strikes veering wildly off into the trees, fields, and the castle walls. Faster and faster the competitors rode, their horses snorting with effort and fury.
Ganon growled and hissed, pointing his wand at Link’s chest. “You’re not even supposed to be here, Link! This is no race for the princess’s pet hero!” Magic began to spark at the tip.
Sensing the imminent blast, Link pulled back on Catherine’s reins, letting Ganon’s spell fly into the trees to startle a flock of birds. “First of all, the name’s Ravio when the mustache is on!” He slapped the half-dangling mustache back onto his face, but the sweat beading on his lip didn’t let it stick, so it slid off even further. “Secondly, I don’t even think that’s a real horse!”
“What?!” Ganon sneered, twisting around just in time to see Link take aim - not at him, but the horse he was riding. “Wait, no!”
With a shot of magic from his sword, the back legs of the grey horse vanished, leaving the front half continuing to run, Ganon crashing hard onto the packed earth, tumbling as the grey cloth dangling from the front half was yanked out from under him. As Link brought Catherine to a halt, he spotted a moblin lifting the enchanted grey fabric, a crude horse’s head made of stitched pieces and buttons. Another blast from the sword took care of that monster, too.
“Really?” Link shook his head, chiding Ganon. “Two moblins in a horse illusion? You couldn’t even steal a proper one?”
“Don’t patronize me!” Ganon snorted, clamoring to his feet. “I’ll get that Triforce yet, Link!”
Right as Link was about to strike Ganon a third time, the wizard vanished in a puff of smoke, startling Catherine and leaving Link to cough and reorient himself. It was only when he heard the thundering of hooves behind him that Link realized the race was still on.
“Right! I’ve got to win this to get my rupees and a kiss from Zelda!” He whipped Catherine’s reins, his hood flying back as he zipped farther ahead of the other races.
At last, the finish line came into view. The western gate of Castle Town beckoned him onward, with the princess waiting expectantly on the winner’s stage. His chest swelled with the pride of victory as he crossed the threshold of the city. Even Catherine appeared impressed with herself, bringing her hooves up high as she trotted over to Zelda. Link, of course, pressed his mustache back into place as best he could and pulled his violet rabbit-hood up over his face.
Cheers and applause sounded from the gathered crowd. But as pleased as everyone else seemed to see him, his princess looked furious.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?!” She demanded, stamping her boot with all the fury of a disgruntled mare. “I told you that you weren’t allowed to race!”
“Aw, but Zel-” Link started, then coughed and deepened his voice, “I mean, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m Ravio, Link’s, uh, cousin…twice-removed.”
As believable as he thought his disguise was, Zelda wasn’t buying it. She glared all the more at Link, gesturing for him to dismount. “You can’t seriously expect me to fall for that silly disguise.”
Link’s cheeks flushed red. “You fell for Ganon’s! He was two moblins in a trenchcoat!”
Zelda gave him an odd look, as if she wasn’t sure whether she should believe a single word of what he said. For once, it was the truth! “Link, I cannot give you the winning prize. I explicitly told you that Catherine could only compete if you found another jockey.”
Crossing his arms, Link pouted at her, as if that would help the situation. “Come on, Zel. That’s not fair! Catherine won this race fair and square!”
“Hm,” Zelda hummed, considering his words as she looked at Catherine. Her big, brown eyes blinked down at the princess, her chestnut fur drenched in sweat. Evidently deciding on something, Zelda nodded. “You’re right. Catherine did.”
Turning back toward the prize table behind her, Zelda lifted a wreath of leaves and flowers up and over Catherine’s head, letting it settle on her neck. His horse took the prize in stride, standing up a little taller and nickering at Zelda.
“Traitor…” Link grumbled, kicking a small stone.
Zelda laughed. “Sorry, Link. Rules are rules. I’ll have to give the rupees to the next runner up. But Catherine has earned her place on the winner’s stage.” She patted Catherine’s neck, smiling at the very tired horse.
Frowning, Link took Catherine’s reins, starting to walk her back to the castle stables, but stopped. He gave Zelda one last, as-charming-as-possible, smile. “Not even a kiss for the jockey?”
“With that overgrown rat hanging off your lip?” Zelda rolled her eyes, shooing him toward the stables. “Keep dreaming, hero.”
Link shrugged, leading Catherine on. “Worth a shot, at least. Come on, girl. You’ve earned yourself some carrots and sugar cubes.”