Work Text:
Thame returned to his dorm today after concluding everything with that company, his seven year contract with FG entertainment has finally come to an end. It has also been seven years since his arrival in Korea, he has seen so much fame here, he has gained lots of fans, all his concerts have been sold out always, he has been one of the company’s precious asset, the company made a lot of fuss and didn’t want to let Thame go, but legally the seven year contract has ended and if the artist doesn’t want to stay they can’t do anything either. The staff, the higher ups, the fans, the media nobody understood why he is not renewing his contract when he is at the peak of his career.
Thame took one last glance at the tall company building and let out a huge sigh and turned his back. His manager arrived to pick him up for one last time.
He took a shower changed into comfy clothes, took his meds, turned on the room heater and gently put his body on the soft bed. He felt a deep sense of relief after so long. It was past midnight and he still couldn’t sleep. He kept staring at the ceiling, mind totally blank. He couldn’t process whatever happened in the past seven years. He came to Korea after leaving his old band MARS. They continued the band for 3 years more while fighting with ONER alongside and it was too much of a mental toll for all of them, the band wasn’t doing that well despite of their collective efforts because the company kept sabotaging them. The other four just kept being together and working together just for Thame’s sake as they loved him so much. But Thame realized everything they do is fruitless, its too much to ask from the guys and its nothing but a waste of their precious career, so he decided to free them all and he finally moved to Korea like he was supposed to three years ago, thinking the past three years was just a bad idea.
While leaving the band he also had to leave someone who was the most important person in his life, his love, his everything, his Po. They fell in love like a whirlwind, they had something so beautiful, so rare, they had to fight so much for their love, but in the end Po was again left behind and Thame had to let go. They both knew long distance is not something they could do but making promises and keeping them will also be too tough, so despite of their heart’s desire they had to let each other go. Po was devastated but he understood why Thame did that, he knew if Thame stayed in Thailand he would have no future. He loved Thame enough to let him go and live upto his true potential. Thame loved Po but he also loved singing and he wanted to make a name for himself so he had to leave everything behind to chase his big dreams. Thame didn’t ask Po to wait for him and neither did Po cause they both knew it was nothing but torture to wait hopelessly years and years. They said to each other that if they find good love coming their way they would give it a chance and wouldn’t turn away from it. What they had was beautiful and it will stay as a beautiful memory forever, maybe in this lifetime they were just meant to briefly meet and leave with everlasting memories, maybe in another life the timing will be right and they will be able to love each other properly that time. They parted ways and to get over each other they decided not to stay in contact at all.
But tonight Thame lies eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling, his mind clouded, and his heart so empty. He tried not to think of his past but those visions never leave. It was past midnight and he kept laying there forever. Suddenly his mind went to that road nine years ago and he recalled how they were walking side by side, chasing each other, running, walking back and forth from that dorm to that bus stop, how he held Po so close that night. How fast his heart was racing, the utter inability to let each other go, the attraction, how bad he wanted to kiss Po and how tough it was to separate that night. A silent tear rolled down his cheek. He never forgot Po. But because of the numerous layers of time he has become like a rock who has no ability to feel. This industry is too cruel. He has suppressed his emotions for so long that he has grown distant from himself.
When he lost Po, he also lost himself, lately he has been sad all the time and he went to the doctor for this and they prescribed him some anti-depressants, he also goes to the therapist regularly with the hope of getting himself back but nothing was helping him. The thoughts of his lost love, the thoughts of what could have been, keeps haunting him every single night. Even if he wanted to go back he couldn’t, he was bound by the contract, but now he is truly free from everything. He has chased his dreams for too long, he has chased something that he thought will give him happiness but in the end he realized that all these hopes and dreams are nothing compared to his love for Po. Even when he became a famous singer he still couldn’t be happy, he couldn’t find any meaning in the work he was doing, everything felt meaningless. But now everything is over, he is now free from the shackles, he has done everything he wanted to, he has achieved his dreams, he has written so many songs and released so many albums, all four members of MARS are now well established celebrities in Thailand, he feels like his purpose has been fulfilled. But, what now? Can I go back…? He thinks to himself, can I go back to Po after all this time? Will he accept me again? Will he wrap me in his arms again like he used to or is he going to push me away and call me a selfish bastard…?
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-Meanwhile in Thailand-
Po was returning home from a long day of work. He still works at ONER. He is now a permanent director of that company. He is also still in connection with Jun, Dylan, Nano and Pepper, they talk often in the group chat that has the five of them excluding Thame. They also hangout once in a while reminiscing the old days. Po is doing well in his career and life now. These four kids helped him a lot back then to get over and move on from their friend and they all love Po so much.
Just as he was about to step into the dorm building his phone buzzed, he saw Jun calling him. He picked up the phone.
~ hello phi, where are you?
~ I just returned from work, about to go inside, why?
~ we four are at this café and wanted to call you to join us. Can you come now?
~ umm.. why? is there anything special?
~ just come na, does there need to be something grand always to invite you huh
~ okay fine, I’m coming, send me the address.
~ okay, see you na phi, come quickly.
Jun hangs up and Po looks at his phone clueless, why are they calling him so suddenly..? Anyways he booked a cab quickly and waited by the sidewalk.
Arriving at the café he saw the four of them staring at him weirdly while he was walking to them.
Po: hi, whats up? Why the sudden invite and why are you all looking at me so weird?
Nano: phi, how do you feel?
Po: huh? Why do you ask?
Dylan: phi, are you okay?
Po: huh…? Whats wrong with you guys? Why wouldn’t I be okay?
All four look at each other and they knew Po doesn’t know anything.
Jun: okay sit down, we will tell you everything.
Cluelessly Po sits down as asked.
Jun: Haven’t you been on your phone lately? It’s all the Thai media has been talking about since yesterday.
Jun pulls out his phone from his pocket and opens an article.
“Famous singer, song-writer Thame Thima has decided not to renew his contract with FG Entertainment and parts ways after seven years and is rumored to come back to Thailand. When asked about his future plans the singer says he wants to relax a bit in his homeland and has not thought of any future endeavors yet.”
Po reads the article and acts nonchalant as if his heart didn’t just skip a beat reading the news.
Po: oh great news, so what? Why wouldn’t I be okay? Guys I am way over your friend. He will always stay an important and special part of my life but what we had is over and it’s impossible to go back where we were even if he comes back. I have moved on a long time ago and I am living my life, I am good.
Jun: then why haven’t you dated one single person over these seven years if you were over him? Why do you turn down everyone who approaches you?
Po: well that’s because I don’t like them, isn’t that simple.
Nano: the lies that you feed yourself. (Nano nods his head with a faint smile on his face)
Po: what are you guys upto? I really don’t care if he comes back or not. I just don’t care at all, I am totally fine as you can see, I am doing so well in my job, I am okay, I am fine.
Po keeps telling that he is okay over and over so that he himself can believe that he is okay when he is clearly not. All this time apart from Thame has been nothing but hell. He has got his heart broken before, but with Thame it was different. It wasn’t a usual breakup when someone was at fault, they had to let go of each other even when they loved each other with all they had. The timing just wasn’t right for them. It was hard for Po to get back on his feet, to soothe his heart and continue to live his life. These guys helped him a lot too and he is grateful for them. But still he can’t deny the fact that there wasn’t a single day in the past seven years when Thame didn’t cross his mind, he always checked k-media for his updates and always listened to his songs, letting his angelic voice to bring some peace to his heart. Sometimes he would cry while listening to his voice, remembering the times when Thame used to sing to him sitting so close, serenading him, just for him but now he is so far away. But even from afar he was so happy seeing Thame achieving his dreams and making a big name for himself as a singer, his first love is singing after all, and nothing makes Po happier than seeing him reach that dream. Po lost in his thoughts was staring blankly at the café wall, when he was suddenly startled by Jun snapping his fingers in front of his face.
Jun: yes phi, you are so over him, it’s so clear like daylight (he says mockingly)
Pepper: okay enough, stop pestering him and let him feel whatever he wants, its none of our business, you guys never change huh, yall are still childish like you were when we met (he smiles)
Po: yes thanks Pepper, you are the only one I can trust and has brain in this group
Dylan: phiii, that’s not fair na phi, did you forget who wiped your tears when you were all down bad sobbing
Po: oh my god Dylan, you are so insufferable
Pepper: now that’s too much Dylan
Dylan whines and they all laugh, lightening the mood a bit, its okay to joke about it rather than to be sad about it all the time, and Po doesn’t mind either, these guys helped Po all these years by using this trick only, by making him laugh.
Pepper: okay enough jokes, I have something important to say to phi Po about Thame
Po: huh? What now? There’s more?
Jun: There’s more? How come we don’t know?
Dylan: ai Per you never say anything to us…
Nano: He is always like this phi Dylan, thinks he is better than us (Nano says jokingly)
Pepper: oh my god guys, can we focus on the serious matter for a second, and I never tell you guys anything because yall are just too unserious all the time even in your thirties.
Nano: how dare you, I am still not thirty, yall are old, I’m not
Pepper: see that’s what I am talking about (Pepper rolls his eyes)
Po: okay okay let them be Pepper, stop scolding them and get back to whatever important thing you had to say to me.
Jun: aww someone is eager to hear (Jun teases)
Pepper side-eyes him, nods his head and sighs
Pepper: yall will never change, anyways, ignore them phi Po, so the thing is yesterday very late at night I got a text from an unknown number and when I opened it and it was Thame…
Pepper took his phone and turned it towards Po showing him the chats that said:
- Per, this is Thame
- Pepper, I am back in Thailand for good, I am sorry for not texting for so long and I will
explain everything to everyone in detail later
- but now I need a help, the reason I’m texting you is I need you to do something for me
- I know you are still in contact with phi Po so can you do this favor for your old friend,
can you ask him to come meet me at the bus stop, he will know what place I’m talking
about, can you make sure he comes, please Pepper, I trust you, I know you can make
this happen.
Po looks at the screen and his eyes become moist, he becomes aware of it and quickly controls himself.
Pepper: phi Po you can say whatever you wish to us, but I know in your heart the corner he had will forever be reserved for him, and if you disagree, you’ll just lie to yourself, I know it was very selfish of him to leave you like that but I know you don’t hold any grudge against him for that. Nobody can understand him better than you do and nobody can love him more than you do, he has been to hell and beyond in Korea and now that he is back he needs you more than anything. I am not saying this because I am his friend, I am also saying this because you need him too, I have been seeing you all these years and I know how much you have missed him, how much you have yearned for him and how much you have wanted him. You always say that you are doing well and you are at a good place mentally but knowing you for so many years I can see the grief behind your eyes right away. I can see how your face tightens and eyes briefly flicker whenever you hear his name, how your lips press into a thin line trying to suppress any emotions but your clenched jaw betrays you. How you play it cool when we joke about him but deep down you are still hurting. As if each time you hear his name someone has stirred an old wound and it burns all over again. So phi Po stop hurting so much, you don’t deserve this, go to him, talk to him, be each other’s support systems again, embrace him in your warmth again and let him heal you too. You both deserve to be happy.
All four of them nods in unison, they all want the best for Po. Hearing all that a tear runs down Po’s cheek, he is so grateful to have them, they have always been there when he needed.
Po: thanks na Per, thank you to all of you for always being there for me.
Jun: now what are you waiting for, go get your man back, and Pepper you should become a philosopher, where did that long ass speech came from?
They all laughed and Po rushed out of that café to try his fate one last time.
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As he reached closer to the bus stop his heart started racing more and more, he felt he could have a heart attack right then and there, he still couldn’t believe he was going to see Thame in flesh after seven long years.
He can now see the bus stop lights from afar and as its late at night there’s not much people around either, he can see a hooded all black outfit figure hovering around under the lights and with the sight of that his heart stopped. He was sure that it was none other than Thame himself, he couldn’t move his feet, he couldn’t bring his body in motion to move closer to him, all the grief, anger, love, joy, nostalgia, anticipation came rushing to him like a flood and he stood there immobile just staring into the distant figure.
Swiftly he started walking towards him. Inch by inch the distance was getting shorter. As he reached there he saw Thame facing the other side, he said with a trembling voice, “THA..ME…” hearing that Thame turned around and they were finally standing face to face with each other with years of agony, pain and unsaid words floating between them.
Tears knew no bound, it kept flowing from Po’s eyes and as well as Thame’s. Po wasn’t sure what Thame’s purpose of coming here was but he couldn’t hold it anymore in his heart, he couldn’t stand another second apart from the boy he fell in love years ago and who still torments him in his dreams each day. He moved closer and wrapped his arms around Thame and pulled him close to him. It felt so right, it felt like this is where he belongs, and he finally feels at home. It feels like he never left. He gently rests his head on his shoulders and takes in the moment till it lasts.
-
Thame was taken by surprise on how Po hugged him right away the moment they met, all those doubts and hesitations he had, all disappeared in thin air. Even though he was crying, a little flicker of happiness crosses his lips as he stands there wrapped tightly by Po’s body. He is finally home. Po is still the same as he was seven years back. But he was feeling so unsettled, he felt such a mix of guilt and joy at the same time. Even if Po can forget what he did but he still needs to apologize, he can’t take Po for granted, he wants to let Po know how much he is sorry for the pain he caused him over the years and how repentful he is without making any excuses, otherwise he can never be at peace.
~ Po, I have something to say, can you please hear me out?
Thame tries to break the hug and talk face to face but Po tightens the hug even more in fear of this moment to end and Thame leaving again.
~ Po can you please listen to what I have to say? (Thame says softly)
~ No I don’t want to hear anything, I don’t want any apologies or any excuse or anything, don’t say anything unless you have decided truly in your heart that you are going to stay this time, that you still love me the same, and if not then stay silent let me have this moment and then forget anything ever happened. I have missed you Thame, I missed you more than words can deliver. And I don’t want to let you go again. (Po said as he kept sobbing)
Thame’s heart broke more and more with each word that came out of Po’s mouth, he knew he has hurt his Po but hearing it in his own ears and seeing how much pain Po is in is too intolerable for him, he can never forgive himself for making Po go through so much. Thame wants to make it up to Po even if it takes his entire life.
~ phi Po, please listen carefully what I am saying, and believe me if you still trust me, I am not going anywhere anymore, I will stay forever if you ask, and even if you don’t I will still keep loving you, I still love you just the same, I will make it up to you even if takes an eternity, you are still the most important person in my life and I am never going to be apart from you ever again from now on, and this is my one true promise to you.
Listening this Po finally loosens his grip and straightens up and faces Thame.
~ Really? You are saying the truth right? I have been waiting for you Thame even if you asked me not to. How could I fall in love with anyone else when you are all over my body and soul, you are all that I can think about, and all that I ever want, so please don’t go. Please don’t leave me again like this.
Thame’s heart broke again hearing this, he doesn’t deserve Po, he is too good to be true, how can anyone forgive him so easily after what he has done, but deep down he knew that Po loves him and this kind of love doesn’t come by so easily, he let go of that once, he wont ever let it go again. This love needs to be cherished and Po needs to be valued and he will give up everything to hold on to this love dear to his heart so that no harm can ever touch them again.
~ phi Po, I am never letting you go again, I will be yours forever from this time onwards, you were the only one in my heart and you still are. But there’s one thing I really have to say… I am sorry phi Po, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I was selfish, I was thinking of myself only, I left you, I pushed you into this long dark path of grief all alone and I am so regretful of that, can you ever forgive me phi Po?
~ what did I say just now, I don’t want any apology from you, I understand you and the reasons why you had to leave, you did what you had to do, your life, your career and your happiness always comes first, but if you are back to me now and you promise to never leave, it’s all that ever matters, and if it’s the forgiveness you are looking for then yes Thame I forgive you, I hold nothing against you, I just love you so much Thame, I will trade the whole world for you.
And with that they both finally smiled in between the tears and they could feel the love swelling within their hearts.
~ okay come on now, wont you walk me home? (Po said smiling)
- THE END -