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"You can't have him!" Jiang Cheng glared at where Jin Guangshan sat on his golden throne. Weeks. Zewu-jun and Chifeng-zun had long since returned to their respective sects. Jiang Cheng was stuck in Jinlintai — long past what was appropriate— in the endless loop of the same argument and refusal, determined not to back down. However, there was a time when Lotus Pier needed him back. His home was still in turmoil from the war, and now… new losses.
Never mind that Jiang Cheng had overstayed his welcome, it was Yu Jiayi's letter requesting him to return that his resolve finally crumbled.
This would be Jiang Cheng's last chance to get Jin Ling to come home with him.
Like vultures, the Jin family knew it. This time, Jin Guangshan brought his wife and Jin Guangyao to witness his desperation and see how the Jiang sect leader begged.
Jin Guangshang didn't look away from the servant pouring the tea, making the poor girl nearly drop the pot when a hand got too close. Jiang Cheng's lip curled in disgust. In the aftermath of the war, Jin Guangshan cared less and less about who saw his behaviour. Doing so in front of his grieving wife was a new low. But what else should Jiang Cheng expect when Jin Guangyao sat where Jin Zixuan once did?
Only when the girl had retreated to the other servants did Jin Guangshan return his attention to the matter at hand. "A-Ling is the heir to Jinlintai, not Lotus Pier."
"He is the last of my family." Not something that the Jin clan was short on, He thought bitterly.
"And who's fault is that?" Jin Guangshan opened the fan, waving it airly.
Jiang Cheng recoiled. Who's fault? The Jin cultivator who stabbed his sister? Wen Ning, who killed his brother-in-law? Jin Zixun thought it was a good idea to ambush the Yiling Laozu and his Ghost general? Or Wei Wuxian, who died laughing as his army ripped him to shreds?
Yet Jiang Cheng survived only because he was too slow to stop any of it.
Chenqing thrummed from its place hidden in his sleeve. The lingering resentment offered to lash out at his desires, even though Jiang Cheng didn't have the faintest idea how to use the demon flute. Wei Wuxian was the genius between the two of them. And Wei Wuxian was gone. If he had been here now, Jin Guangshan wouldn't have talked to Jiang Cheng like some nobody, begging on the steps of his hall.
And now, he was going to lose Jin Ling, too. Then he really would be alone.
When A-Jie and Jin Zixuan announced that she was with her child, they were adamant that their child would know Lotus Pier and that Yunmeng culture and tradition would be a part of their child's life. At the time, Jin Guangshan laughed and said whatever made the young couple and his grandson happy. With no one to stand by his side, Jiang Cheng was the last to remember.
He took a step back. The weight of Jin Guangshan's condensing smile infuriated him as much as it crushed all hope Jiang Cheng had that he could take his nephew home. In the months since what was supposed to be Jin Ling's hundredth name day celebration, Jiang Cheng would return to Lotus Pier with only his sister's tablet and his brother's flute to show for it.
"Half the year," Jin-furen spoke for the first time that night. Her voice hoarse from disuse, and her face sunken in by grief. Gaunt was tired and much older than when Jiang Cheng had last seen her at Jin Zixuan's and A-Jie's funeral. She looked nothing like the strong woman of his childhood, the one who was brave enough to befriend his mother and cower her husband into hiding the evidence of his infidelity. That woman was buried with her son and daughter-in-law.
"It is what A-Li would have wanted." The silent 'A-xuan would have wanted whatever made his wife happy' went unsaid but hung heavy in the hall.
Jin Guangshan blinked in surprise, turning to stare at his wife. It took him a second to find his words, and even Jiang Cheng had to register that Jin-furen supported him in taking her grandson back to Lotus Pier. "That is not enough to send our heir to another clan." Jin Guangshan answered in a sickly sweet voice, making the hair on Jiang Cheng's neck stand on edge.
Jin-furen pinned her husband down with a single stare of her haunted eyes. A glimpse of the feared woman she had been shining through. "It is for me."
"A-Die." Jin Guangyao spoke up, bowing to his father and then to Jin-furen. "Perhaps a compromise?" Any light that sparked in Jin-furen was immediately snuffed out at the reminder of who was now sitting in her son's place. Jiang Cheng, however, was short on pity these days, and if Lianfang-zun could get Jin Ling to come to Lotus Pier, what did he care? "It would be good for A-Ling to learn Yunmeng culture, considering his position."
His position. A spark from Zidian buzzed in response to the spike of anger. Jiang Cheng had no heir. The Jiang clan hung in the balance. With the threat of the Yiling Laozu gone, there was little but Yunmeng's pride and loyalty to the Jiang family that kept Jin Guangshan from attempting to take over the territory. Only Jiang Cheng's stubborn determination kept the clan from tittering towards the edge of disbanding. Should anything happen to him, it would be all too easy for the Jin clan to claim Yunmeng under inheritance through Jin Ling. And from the smug smile on Jin Guangshan's face, he realized it, too.
"Perhaps." Jin Guangshan fluttered the fan, weighing the options.
Sensing that he had a foothold, Jin Guangyao pounced. "Consider allowing A-Ling to spend the summer months in Yunmeng in the future. And if A-Die feels generous, send A-Ling with Jiang-zongzhu now as well. It will allow Lotus Pier to grieve but give them hope in the next generation." He finished with another bow and smile.
Jiang Cheng bit his lip to keep his anger from showing. But he had to admit, Lianfand-zun was really, terrifyingly, clever.
In the end, Jin Guangshan hemmed and hawed, pretending to debate the matter for several minutes more. Every so often, he asked for more tea and snacks to be served, eyeing and beckoning the young servant from earlier to come closer. Only when Jin Guangyao rose, relieving the poor girl of the teapot and knelt to pour for his father, did Jin Guangshan grow bored and call an end to the discussion.
Jin Ling would be coming home.
Jiang Cheng wasted no time in gathering the few disciples that remained in Jinlintai and made the necessary arrangements for the several-day journey to Lotus Pier. It would be at least a year before Jin Ling would be strong enough to fly, so for now, they were stuck in carriages.
His horse, Caimi, a stubbornly ill-tempered mare the colour of dark ash, was tied to the side. Jiang Cheng had gifted her to Wei Wuxian during the Sunshot Campaign, stating, 'if you don't want to use your sword ... here ' and handed reins over 'can't have people thinking the Jiang clan is too poor it has to make its first disciple walk everywhere. ' The truth was he had spent a good amount of their limited silver to get his brother a horse that wouldn't run at the sight of him. Most creatures had become terrified of Wei Wuxian and could smell the stench of death that followed him everywhere. Yet the mare looked entirely uninterested. Wei Wuxian had smiled, one of the first genuine ones since returning, and named the mare ' I guess.' Honestly, his brother made fun of him for his naming skills. And after a few apples and scratches, she allowed Wei Wuxian to ride her.
Jiang Cheng reached out through the carriage window to pat her neck, earning him a gentle nip. A small smile grew. Like he said, she was stubborn and ill-mannered but also unwavering and loyal — unlike her previous owner. Caimi had been just another thing Wei Wuxian abandoned in Lotus Pier when he left to save Wens. Well, she was Jiang Cheng's now.
The mare was one of many things that were his, only because Jiang Cheng was the last of his siblings to claim it. In his arms, Jin Ling cooed and tugged at his hair. Tiny fists gripping the strands with surprising strength.
"That's an attack on a sect leader." Jiang Cheng tried to pull Jin Ling's hand out of his hair. "Capital offence."
Jin Ling babbled more treason, completely unphased, as he tried to pull the fist full of hair into his mouth. "Gross." Jiang Cheng reached into the baby bag and grabbed one of Jin Ling's many toys. "Trade you?"
Hair or toy? His nephew didn't need a second to decide this was a highly offensive trade proposition and, with his free hand, chucked the toy right into Jiang Cheng's eye. Ow. Hush laughter followed, and Jiang Cheng mentally swore that every disciple with him would be tasked with training duty for the next month.
To add insult to injury, Jiang Cheng moved his arms, which did not please the little prince. A wobbly lip was all the warning Jiang Cheng got before a blood-curdling, ear-piercing scream erupted.
"Why are you screaming?" Jiang Cheng adjusted his hold, but that only enraged Jin Ling further. "You hit my eye! I should be the one screaming." His voice raised to match his bawling nephew's.
A-Jie would know what to do. He had never had to deal with Jin Ling when he was in a bad mood before. A-Jie would whisk Jin Ling away as soon as he started getting fussy. Perfectly attuned to her baby, she would immediately know what Jin Ling needed.
Compared to her, Jiang Cheng was just a clumsy idiot who didn't have a clue what he was doing. And Jin Ling knew it.
His wailing continued
Jiang Cheng didn't realize that the carriage had rolled to a stop until the wet nurse cautiously opened the door.
"Zongzhu, is everything alright?" Her voice quivered slightly, even though Jiang Cheng was sure he didn't exactly pose a threatening figure at the moment, between holding Jin Ling and freaking out over the crying, wiggling baby in his arms.
Jiang Cheng scowled at being caught off guard. "He won't stop crying."
The wet nurse flinched at the sound of his voice as if expecting Jiang Cheng to blame her for his own incompetence. "Perhaps Jin-gongzi is hungry?" She reached her hands out, and instinctually, Jiang Cheng shied away. He immediately felt guilty when the woman looked stricken.
Making his movements very obvious, Jiang Cheng held Jin Ling out to her. "I'll wait outside?" With experienced motions, she grabbed Jin Ling and rewarded him with a hesitant smile.
With shaky legs, he stepped outside the carriage. Jin Ling's screaming set his nerves on fire, worse even than the moments before a battle. Something about being totally helpless to soothe this tiny human being, who relied on Jiang Cheng for everything, unsettled him.
Petting Caimi's long neck, he muttered, "This is going to be a long trip." Who was he kidding? Jiang Cheng didn't have a clue about what he was doing. Maybe Jin Ling would have been better off staying in Jinlintai. At least there, he had a grandmother and several other family members who knew how to care for a baby. Hell, even Lianfeng-zun was more experienced than he was. Following his track record, Jiang Cheng was bound to let Jin Ling down.
But he was selfish. Add it to the list of his shortcomings another way his siblings were better.
Caimi nudged his arm, jostling the spot where Chenqing was hidden. Reaching into his pocket, Jiang Cheng grabbed one of the snacks he always kept for her. The mare's soft lips tickled his palm, keeping his thoughts from turning dark once more. A few seconds later, the nursemaid exited, Jin Ling gurgling happily once more in her arms.
Tiny hands reach out to him as Jin Ling gave an excited 'gah!' at seeing Jiang Cheng. "Oh, so now you remember you like your Jiujiu." Jin Ling blabbed more happy baby noises at him in response.
Smiling, Jiang Cheng settled back into the carriage. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
The universe proved him wrong almost immediately when Jin Ling puked all over his silk robes.
The next ten days were some of the longest of his life. Jin Ling constantly demanded attention, food, or to be changed, and worse, he seemed to delight in making sure Jiang Cheng didn't get a wink of sleep. Up half the night, Jin Ling developed the annoying habit of sleeping during the day.
After Baoshan Sanren restored his core, Jiang Cheng found he needed significantly less sleep than before. Suddenly, he was able to keep the insane sleep schedules Wei Wuxian had always preferred, and he could get large amounts of work done while others slept.
That, however, did not mean he could go without a decent night's sleep forever, despite Jin Ling's determination to test that theory. Almost there. The landscape changed from the rolling hills of Lanling to the twisting rivers of Yunmeng. It would, of course, be faster to take a boat to Lotus Pier, but Jiang Cheng didn't want to risk it. The summer rains made the currents choppy and ill-suited to a young baby that had never been on the water.
Instead, he spent every day, all day, stuck in the carriage. The restless energy built to maddening levels, even as the mental exhaustion grew. Jiang Cheng couldn't remember the last time he had been still for so long. He hated it.
But the thought of leaving Jin Ling alone for even short periods shocked Jiang Cheng with fear so intense it froze him in his seat. Jin Ling was so little and vulnerable. Anything could happen. There was nothing Jin Ling could do to protect himself. And hadn't Wei Wuxian been the strongest cultivator, he still died. What was Jin Ling compared to the Yiling Laozu?
Heavens, his nephew just discovered he had toes the other day.
Jiang Cheng couldn't leave him alone, even for a second. Not when Jin Ling was just as much a danger to himself as the world was.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he poked Jin Ling's chubby cheek. "You will be the death of me, you know that?"
"Dah!"
"Yup, I can hear the news now. Hail A-Ling bane of the Sandu Shengshou.” Jin Ling giggled as Jiang Cheng grabbed one of his newly discovered feet and blew a raspberry. "Find that funny, do you, Treason Baby? You won't when you have to do Yunmeng's taxes."
Jiang Cheng continued teasing his nephew with everything Jin Ling would be responsible for if he orchestrated a coup d'etat until they rolled into Lotus Pier.
Even in the dark, the gentle scent of the lotuses in bloom soothed the raw ends of nerves; the flowers were always the first to welcome Jiang Cheng home. "Welcome to Lotus Pier A-Ling."
He bit his lip, and a tinge of copper laced his tongue. This was not Jiang Cheng's role. He was Jiujiu. It should have been A-Jie who first brought Jin Ling to her home, with Jin Zixuan right beside her. Cradling Jin Ling to his chest, he whispered, "I'm so sorry I'm the one you got stuck with."
One moment of weakness. He would be selfish enough for one moment.
Taking a shaky breath, Jiang Cheng took a second to check that his mourning sash was straight and stepped out.
Jiang disciples, all lined in neat rows of white, in unison, bowed.
He stepped down, glad for that moment because if Jiang Cheng hadn't, he wouldn't have been able to hold back the tears.
After the Sunshot Campaign, they barely managed a few hundred members in the years after another couple hundred joined. Nightless City and the Siege took several dozen from them. But all that was left was standing before him.
His sect.
Front and center stood Yu Jaiyi, face still bandaged from the wounds she received in Nightless City.
"Zongzhu and Jin-Gongzi have returned." Still bowed, her voice rang through the streets. "We grieve with you."
Jin Ling whimpered in his arms as if sensing the sorrow surrounding him. A chorus of 'We grieve with you' echoed Jiang Cheng's footsteps.
Numb, he could only keep stumbling forward. Pass the disciples, pass the civilians of Lotus Pier.
The sea of white mourners parted as Jiang Cheng approached, murmuring hushed condolences. Many of them openly wept, the grief thick, embracing him in their joint heartache.
Only when he neared the ancestral hall did Jiang Cheng notice the flickering lights that shone through the darkness. While lanterns hung on the doorway of every house, his steps stumbled. Every door. All in mourning. It was custom for the deceased's family to place them to show passersby that a beloved soul had left them.
Jiang Yanli.
Wei Wuxian.
The Yunmeng Jiang had been their loved ones stolen from them, and that grief touched the whole sect.
Turning, Jin Ling still in his arms, Jiang Cheng bowed.
He wanted to thank them for their loyalty, their pride, and their staying with him when Jiang Cheng had lost everything.
The words didn't come. Lodged in his throat, his mouth refused to form sound. Moving sharply on his heel, Jiang Cheng entered the hall. Now joined by their daughter, his parents' plaques stood before him.
Performing a kowtow with a baby clutched to his chest is both easier and harder than it ought to be. To his credit, Jin Ling stayed quiet and content to slobber into Jiang Cheng's robes.
"I present the son of Jiang Yanli, your grandson, Jin Ling. Courtesy name Rulan."
This was not how his parents should have met their first grandchild. Jiang Yanli should have brought Jin Ling to them. Let A-Niang pretend not to spoil him as A-Die gushed over A-Jie's good work. Wei Wuxian would have teased Jin Zixuan, demanding that he care for his wife and child. His brother-in-law would blush and awkwardly do his best to explain that he would do nothing less.
Jiang Cheng would have been content to watch from the sidelines. Absorbing the sight of a family happy at long last. Jin Ling patted his cheek, and Jiang Cheng used the sleeve of his robe to dry his tears from the little fingers. Not long later, his nephew fell asleep in his arms.
But Jiang Cheng kept vigil until the sun rose.
And with one final bow to his family, he went back to work.
His disciples had done their best to manage the sect in his absence. Jiang could see that they tried to make his return as smooth as possible, but there were things only a Sect Leader had the authority for.
In his study, stacks of paperwork were organized into piles of urgency. With a sigh, Jiang Cheng hoisted Jin Ling onto his lap and settled into the tedious task of reading through the copious reports.
And so passed his days and nights.
Besides visits from the nervous wetnurse and disciples dropping off or collecting paperwork, Jiang Cheng's only company was Jin Ling.
Well, him and the sleep hallucinations.
On the fourth night of working by lantern light, the heavens had decided to torture him with visions of his dead brother. Wei Wuxian spawned into existence from where he hid Chenqing beneath the floorboards. The last thing he wanted was Jin Ling to get a hold of the demon flute, but he didn't expect a very confused Wei Wuxian to just be sitting there one night.
In his old Jiang disciple robes.
Jiang Cheng took one look, decided he was condemned to his own personal hell and continued working.
During the Sunshot Campaign he had heard of people going mad from the lack of sleep, convinced they were seeing things around every corner. The Nie cultivators were particularly vulnerable, with their predisposition to Qi deviation. However, the Jiang sect had too few numbers at the time for the work that had to be done, and they were constantly stretched too thin.
Jiang Cheng could only take on more tasks by himself. It became easy when Wei Wuxian returned, and it was better still when A-Jie organized the camps with strict schedules and responsibilities.
Seems it was his turn to break.
The ghost of his brother looked around, bewildered, smiling and plopped down beside him. Cheerily pointing out all the ways Jiang Cheng could improve whatever he was working on.
It was actually kind of nice. Talking to the idea of Wei Wuxian at least curbed the loneliness. The subconscious version of his brother was more useful than the real one. This Wei Wuxian gave him pointers on creating training schedules and organizing the sect resources.
Between Jiang Cheng and the ghost of his brother, the work went by much quicker until only superficial tasks were left. And even his own hallucination of Wei Wuxian wasn't interested in helping Jiang Cheng with those.
His nephew at least hadn't forsaken him. The baby found great pleasure in messing up Jiang Cheng's stack of work. "This is your future." He muttered as Jin Ling slapped his hands on the desk.
Jin Ling ripped another request from a matchmaker advertising her skills in getting Jiang Cheng a wife. "Yes, rule with an iron first." Handing the little dictator another sheet.
His nephew might have drooled at the letter Jiang Cheng was about to send to Sect Leader Nie, thanking him for his condolences and pledge of support for rebuilding, but Jin Ling was an adorable distraction. All things considered, he was a relatively easy baby. Clingy, but that worked for Jiang Cheng.
He startled when his thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and Yu Jiayi announcing she was coming in when Jiang Cheng didn't answer back right away.
Yu Jiayi took one look at him before asking, "When was the last time you slept or ate?"
Jiang Cheng didn't know. Inertia was great, too. Who needed to waste time on eating? So many things had to be done. He made sure his baby nephew didn't die and was enjoying himself being a nuisance. Jin Ling was fine, and that was all that mattered. Happy baby didn't want for anything. Heavens, the only reason why Jiang Cheng even knew what time it was was because Jin Ling liked to have a schedule for things.
"If it's not related to the sect, get out." Jiang Cheng picked up the brush, went to sign off on the document, and realized a second too late that he just dipped Jin Ling's toy into ink. Fuck .
She raised an eyebrow, silent; the judgement had never been louder. "Sorry, Zongzhu, we've had orders to ensure you care for yourself." Yu Jiayi stood firm, not looking the least bit apologetic.
"A-Ling needs me, " he pointed out and stuck the toy into his drinking water. It was not his best move, but Jiang Cheng wasn't sure how long the vase had been there anyway. "What if something happens and I'm not there?"
Yu Jiayi grabbed the toy and wiped it dry with a handkerchief. "Da-Shijie's son will be safe with us."
The hallucination of Wei Wuxian nodded and got up to point exaggeratedly at the door. "Stupid brother, didn't he know that if Jiang Cheng slept, he would vanish?" But the idiot looked so excited at the prospect of going outside that Jiang Cheng couldn't help but smile.
Only when Jin Ling was settled in Yu Jiayi's arms did Jiang Cheng realize how truly tired he was.
Exhausted, he used the last of his energy to climb onto the roof. His mother hated catching them up there, and if she were looking for them, A-Jie would come and usher them down. The roof had never been Jiang Cheng's preferred napping spot, but Wei Wuxian had managed to lure him up without too many struggles.
It was only him now. Alone on the roof with nothing save for the memories of happy times keeping him company.
But in the warm light of the rising dawn, Jiang Cheng slept for the first time in a long time.