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Penelope had been feeling constricted for quite some time. Unfortunately, it seemed she could do barely anything to cease that sensation. It was frustrating beyond measure as she had no one to talk about it.
As no one knows another heart better than your own, it can certainly feel very lonely once you are not seen or understood. Sometimes, Penelope believed it to be deeply unfair that her heart decided, at such a young age, to fall in love so suddenly, barely allowing her to see the world, before being completely swept over her feet by her feelings. Mainly when her love only grew and she saw no glint of the same loving coming her way.
There's nothing wrong, actually, with loving someone and not being loved back (despite heart aches). Every so often that was how things were. And for that reason she had long accepted that the subject of her love would marry someday, and his wife could be anyone.
She just wished that his happiness were a priority in his match, that his partner would love him as much as she did, for he did not deserve anything less.
How far could that be from the current truth? He was being deceived, trapped into lies and he had no hint of an idea.
It was not that she blamed her cousin for securing her future, not when society treated women without any grace or that the portion of eligible gentlemen had nothing good to offer to the poor young ladies. Colin was there and he was obviously the best pick in a sea of disastrous candidates.
Yet, how unfair it had to be him of all people, the subject of insincerity and deception. Certainly, his kind heart was big enough to understand and offer a gentle and honorable hand without the necessity of dissimulation. Why did it have to be one of the people she cared about and wanted to protect the most?
Her blood boiled and her skin itched to do something with the power she had, but her action, at that moment, felt like a double-edged dagger, that no matter what she did, it would not be pleasant or immune from some painful consequence.
The only thing she knew for sure, was that no matter how painful a truth is, it's bound to come out at some point, because no lie prevails for long.
Her head started to hurt a little from all the thoughts that were crossing her mind in the last hour. The climate felt a bit warmer than usual and she released a deep sigh once she noticed that she had forgotten her fan at home. She was almost ready to ask if her sisters or even Eloise had one when a storm in the form of the two youngest Bridgertons came her way.
Despite their current banter and running around, no-one seemed to be paying much attention to them, except from Anthony who glanced their way every once in a while.
“You cannot hide behind Penelope, Gregory. Do not think that will stop me from retaliating.” Hyacinth said, once they were both closer to her.
“I'm not hiding! I was simply going to greet her.” He retorted back at his sister and then turned to Penelope. “Good morning, Miss Featherington.”
“Good morning, Mr. Bridgerton.” She replied in a polite tone, making him smile widely.
“Would you like a refreshment?” He offered like a true gentleman.
Hyacinth only rolled her eyes and said “He wants to look all grown up now, despite the so many inches he still has to grow.”
“That's kind of you to offer, but currently I'm in no need of any. Thank you regardless, Gregory.” Penelope answered despite not being quite true, while he blushed at his sister's comment.
It turned out to be a bad moment to claim well-being while her skin was getting prickly and she felt the great urge to throw her gloves away, maybe her dress was too tight as well?
Hyacinth seemed to notice the change in her affliction because she opened her mouth to ask something but her words started to feel very distant to Penelope now.
At that same moment, in the middle of the scenery, Colin raised his glass, totally unaware what was about to happen, and intended to tap it in order to gather some attention, but it was too late and Penelope was already falling.
“Mama.” The children exclaimed while trying to catch her body, in an attempt to avoid her head hitting the ground.
The first ever to react, Anthony bolted their way and gently gathered Penelope in his arms while reassuring his siblings she was going to be fine, he hoped.
Checking her pulse, his assumptions were correct as she had probably just fainted. Which was not sufficient to assure everyone around of her welfare as now a circle of people was gathering around them. Worry spread like a wildfire and no one could think of anything else.
“Pen!” Both Colin and Eloise said at the same time running to the unconscious girl's side, but before Colin could get really close, Eloise shoved him out of the way and knelt beside her dear friend.
“Oh, what happened to you? I should have left that estrangement behind us, I'm sorry, Pen.” Eloise's voice was trembling.
“Eloise, she will be fine.” Anthony declared, trying to make Eloise step back a little, so Penelope would have more room to avoid feeling suffocated.
Violet came to the area where everyone seemed to have assembled about, carrying a picnic blanket and laying on the floor, in order for Anyhony lay Penelope’s body there, as there were not many other places available.
“Did she catch that disease that afflicted Marina?” Phillipa asked curiously.
“That's not possible, dunderhead.” Prudence huffed and before she could continue on saying anything else her mother cut her down.
“Enough, don't talk about your sister that way.” There was concern in her voice and anyone could only assume it was due to her youngest having yet to wake up.
“Is she well?” Colin asked, gazing at her face, she appeared pale and deep into slumber. He realised he had never seen her so fragile and vulnerable. The lovely pinkish floral pattern of her dress only served to contrast dramatically with the current pale colour of her face.
“She will be. She just probably passed out due to the heat.” Anthony assured.
“Will she wake up soon?” Marina inquired, it was rather taking a while and everyone was growing a bit nervous.
“Perhaps, she needs to be kissed so that she wakes up.” Hyacinth suggested and Violet almost choked with air on her way to chastise her youngest child. “Oh, everyone knows a true love kiss can cure anything!” She looked around expectantly, hoping someone would agree with her brilliant idea, but the only gentlemen available nearby were her brothers and everyone knew they were no princes like in fairy tales. Gregory puffed his chest involuntarily, making Hyacinth look at him in such a way that he retreated in himself. If looks could cast curse, he certainly felt like a frog at that instant.
“Hyacinth, in order to kiss a lady you need her consent.” Benedict explained. “Penelope can only receive her kiss if she wants it and is awakened.”
Hyacinth nodded, apparently giving up the subject, but her suggestion only made everyone look at the Miss a little longer, waiting for her eyes to flutter open at any second.
“Are you volunteering for later? Do you fancy yourself a prince?” Anthony asked in a jest to Benedict, trying to lighten the mood, who only frowned his brow and smiled. An awkward silence followed, a lot of people not knowing what to say, and if Violet was at her oldest side at that moment she would've reprimanded him as well. What was with her children today?
For some reason, the idea of Penelope being kissed caused Colin to look at her face, especially at her lips. He had never noticed how full they were and how soft they seemed. She probably would grant lovely kisses. Wait - why is he gazing at her mouth? He blinked fast and certified no one noticed his blatant stare.
Penelope made a small sound and all attention returned to her. She opened her eyes, confused as to why she was being crowded all of sudden.
“What happened?” She wanted to know.
“It seems that you fainted. But I'm so glad you woke up now.” Eloise urged forward and enveloped her in her arms tightly.
“El, let her breathe, please.” Colin knelt down as well and grabbed his sister's shoulder and gently peeled her off until she was only holding Penelope's hands. “Are you feeling alright, Pen? Do you need anything?”
“I am not sure yet.” She blinked, a part of her headache still present.
As it seemed it was what everyone was doing, Hyacinth also knelt down beside her. “Do you think a true love kiss would make you feel better? She loudly whispered.
“What?” Penelope didn’t understand and everyone else just yelled Hyacinth's name, who openly smiled, not ready to give up her hypothesis yet.
Benedict laughed, unable to contain himself any longer and Penelope stared at him with questioning eyes.
“While you were unconscious she suggested that a kiss would help you wake up.” He explained.
“Well, Daphne knows a prince.” The youngest girl reasoned as her brothers didn't seem much of a help.
“For the love of the Lord, Hyacinth! There will be no kisses.” Violet sighed tired.
“I shall get you something to drink.” Eloise said, with agitation still present in her demeanor, and raised up.
A soft blush colored Penelope’s cheeks and she felt ready to stand up. It certainly was strange to have everyone staring at her so intently. She stretched her legs a bit and attempted to rise up, only for a soft pained sound came out of her mouth as she tried to allow some weight on her right foot.
“Allow me. What gentlemen are for if it is not for this, isn't that right?” Anthony gently stated, offering his arm to aid her and lifted her with ease. She whispered something to him, who chuckled a bit and replied something in return.
Colin watched the whole interaction with a sense of unusualness. He knew for a fact that everyone was still concerned about her, but perhaps they were a little too close. He could not prove it, however there was something particularly wrong with that innocent moment his brother and friend shared.
Everyone started to disperse slowly once the girl was out of danger.
“It would be better to call for the carriage.” Lord Featherington spoke for the first time in the conversation, finally making himself useful.
“I shall accompany you.” Anthony offered and squeezed Penelope's hand when he left her side. Colin saw the opportunity and stepped in, assuming the place his brother had left vacant.
Having Colin in the same position Anthony occupied, Penelope leaned on him and deposited part of her weight on his arm, surprising him. She squeezed it slightly, unaware what reaction that proved in his body.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, attempting to keep his posture. However, when he tilted his head slightly to hear her answer, his senses were invaded by the sweet scent she emanated.
“I think I hurt my ankle when I fell. Your brother was helping me stand up.” She explained, a tiny frown on her forehead confirming she was feeling a certain amount of pain.
“Can you walk?” He moved to hold her better, accommodating her stance.
“I'm not entirely sure.” She smiled timidly, not accustomed to so much attention on her for so long.
“Please, do not try to hide your feelings for our comfort. You're among family here.” Colin declared, Violet only nodded, deeply proud inside.
“Besides, if you truly hurt your leg, you can skip that dreadful ball you didn't want to go, right?” Phillipa tried to cheer her up, looking at their mother.
“I suppose it's unenviable.” Portia agreed.
“Then yes, I do admit not feeling very well.” Penelope conceded finally, a weight lifting off her shoulders.
A servant came to inform them that the carriage was ready and waiting.
“I will help her.” Colin stated automatically.
“That is most kind, dearest.” Violet remarks and gestures to everyone go on.
“Very well.” Lady Featherington had no objections as someone had to do it anyway.
And so the Featherington women started walking ahead in the carriage direction. Marina looks back for a tiny second, but keeps walking.
“Are you ready, Pen?” He wanted to make sure. She nodded, but was taken aback when he lifted her into his arms and carried her, with one arm under her legs and the other supporting her back.
“Colin…” She stared at him, demonstrating she was not expecting this at all.
“It's the minimum I can do. I assure you it's no trouble at all.” He guaranteed and started walking slowly, in order to avoid worsening her affliction.
After a few seconds of silence, she finally admitted “Now that only you can hear me, I must confess I'm embarrassed for all that happened.”
“Oh, do not be. As we were all too wrapped up in worries to care about anything else.”
“I'm glad to hear. It's certainly terrifying to think about anyone looking at me while I'm unconscious.” She laughed a little nervously.
“You were no less sweet or yourself in a moment of vulnerability, Pen.” He countered wholeheartedly.
“Thank you for your support, Colin.” She smiled softly.
“You received a glimpse of how much you've enchanted my family over the years, today, with everyone so preoccupied about you. Although, I do admit we don't deal very well with a person in distress.” A tiny grin spread across his face.
“I must say that the assistance was most welcomed. I am grateful for Anthony's ability to calm others. I confess I did not expect it.” At that she blushed deeply, worried she had said something offensive.
Colin's eyes only shone with the most pure kindness. “We all know how Anthony is, but at the end of the day he can be someone we can trust most of the time .” He chuckled lightly, and continued “What did you two say to each other by the way?” he attempted to say the last question in a way that didn't make it seem like he was too curious about the answer.
Penelope seemed confused for a second but then understood “Oh, I had simply said ‘thank you, milord’ and he replied that he knew me for a very long time and there was no need for that, somehow that soothed my nerves.” he nodded, a sense of ease expanding in his chest.
“It’s much better to see some color back in your face, you scared me for a second before.” He confessed, now quieter than ever. The only thing keeping him grounded from the shock was that now, she was safely held in his arms. The knowledge that nothing else would happen to her because he was there holding her close was very comforting.
“I did not know you cared so deeply.” She said dismissively, glancing away from him.
“Of course, I care for you, Penelope.” His voice came out a little indignant, perhaps even disappointed.
Penelope . He had said her full name and that was a rare occurrence for him, but at that moment it felt pleasant.
“I can see it. Good thing you have these strong arms to get your point even more across.” She lifted her hands and squeezed his shoulders teasingly.
Immediately, he blushed. Colin Bridgerton's face was deep red. Penelope never in a million years thought she would live to see that and for her, of all people, to be the cause of it.
Deciding that the best course of action was pretending that nothing had happened, she smiled sweetly, gazing around and noticed they were almost at their destination.
“Thank you for your kind service, Mr. Bridgerton.” She said bowing her head as she couldn't lower herself at the moment.
“Just Colin, please.” He asked, smiling charmingly as usual, hiding the fact that he preferred to be called by his first name, at least by her, as the title made him feel like just another one among so many brothers. However, when she said his name, then he was himself.
“Just Colin, then. And just Penelope, like always.” She reciprocated his smile brightly.
“Like always.” And his chest beat faster than ever. He was afraid she could hear it considering that he was holding her so close, the delicate warmth of her body spreading through his chest. He stared at her eyes for a moment longer than it was considered appropriate. Were they always this dazzling shade of blue?
“I looked everywhere for you! Why didn't anyone informed you were leaving?” Eloise showed up suddenly. She eyed them and asked “Are your feet hurting a lot, Pen?”
Carefully lowering Penelope to the ground, Colin helped her stand up. She accepted the glass of water Eloise was offering to her and drank down.
“I will be fine, El. Do not worry so much.” She circled her friend with both arms and hugged her tenderly. Eloise breathed relieved and kissed her cheek.
“Perhaps, Hyacinth was correct, I'm feeling better already.” Penelope jested and Eloise giggled softly.
“I will visit you tomorrow.” Her friend promised assuredly, holding one of her hands — as the other was still holding Colin's arm for support — unwilling to let it go.
“And I will bring your favorite flowers in order to raise your spirits.” Colin added not wanting to feel left outside their bubble. “And a new book, you could read together.” At that, Eloise smiled at him.
“You know my favorite flowers?” Penelope inquired curiously.
“Pink tulips.” He responded quickly.
“Thank you both.” Penelope said with fondness.
“Ah, no need for that now.” Eloise retorted, giving her one last hug.
“Come on, Penelope. You need to rest that foot at once or it will never get better.” Cried her mother urging her to come inside the carriage.
“Farewell, Bridgertons.” She declared completely lighter than in the beginning of the morning.
Her favorite people in the world both waved their hands at her and bid her goodbye.
There had been something ominous about that day. When she had woken up, she felt sure something was bound to happen. The outcome would bring displeasement, but in the end she only fainted and perchance twisted her ankle.
No one seemed concerned about anything else or as if something was missing. And if that was the case, was it really important in the first place, to be easily left behind because her swift fall into unconsciousness?