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“Mulder, it’s me.”
Mulder presses the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he gestures wildly at the friends he’s crowded into his apartment, motioning with his hands and mouthing that they need to shut the fuck up.
“Oh hey, birthday girl,” Mulder teases, trying his best to sound nonchalant.
“Scully is fine, Mulder.” Mulder pictures her rolling her eyes and swears he can hear a suppressed smile in her voice. “I’m heading out now. I’ll meet you at your place?”
“Yes, yes. That’s the plan!” Out of the corner of his eye, Mulder sees Frohike disapprovingly shaking his head. Without thinking, Mulder swats an arm at him, the phone slipping from his shoulder and nearly hitting the floor in the process.
“Mulder, what was that? Are you okay?” Mulder glares at Frohike, who is snickering in the corner with the other Gunmen.
“What? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you when you get here.” He hangs up before Scully can press him for more answers. The Gunmen burst out laughing as he hangs up and Mulder glances around for something he can throw at them. He settles for some pencils he snatches from the desk.
“That’s the plan!” Frohike mimics in a high-pitched voice.
“Worst co-conspirators ever,” Mulder mutters. Shoving his phone in his pocket, Mulder assesses the room, noting the drooping corner of a banner reading Happy Birthday and several half-full bags of balloons that have yet to be blown up. Mulder clears his throat. “Alright, people,” he announces, “we have about 20 minutes before Scully gets here. Come on, let’s go, let’s go!”
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“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you when you get here.”
“Mu–” Scully starts, but Mulder’s already hung up. She sighs, shaking her head slightly as she puts down the phone and turns her key in the ignition.
On the short drive to Mulder’s apartment, she mulls over their brief call. She knows Mulder so well, knows every inflection and cadence of his voice and the emotions he endeavors to confine within them. She thinks his voice sounded ever-so-slightly strained, too well-concealed for anyone but her to discern. There had been noise, too–some sort of commotion in the background. At least, she thinks there was noise. Scully isn’t sure. Ever since Mulder brought up going out to celebrate her birthday, his behavior has been… not quite erratic, but inconsistent. His answers either contain insufficient information or are brimming with insignificant details, and more often than not, they don’t even answer her questions.
Lost in her thoughts, Scully hardly registers the fact that she has parked, entered Mulder’s apartment building, and is now stepping out of the elevator onto his floor. A door clicks shut as she walks down the hallway, the sound directing her focus back to the present. Reaching 42, Scully knocks on the door.
“It’s open!” Mudler’s muffled voice shouts through the door. Scully turns the handle, the darkness of the apartment colliding with the hallway light as she slowly pushes the door open. Scully reaches out to flick on the lights as she lets herself in.
“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!”
Scully jumps, instinctively reaching for her weapon.
“I’M ARMED!” she screams, drawing her gun and pointing it around the apartment, her voice lost in the commotion as people shout and jump and duck and dive into corners and behind furniture. Her mind goes blank, vision narrowing to the trajectory of her unshot bullets. Scully hears something pop and the sound of shattering glass as she continues to threaten the intruders.
“Scully, Scully!” Mulder shouts as he steps in front of her, arms raised. “Scully, hey, it’s me. You’re okay.”
“Mulder?!” Scully blinks, lowering her weapon in confusion and attempting to orient herself to her surroundings. There’s a mountain of presents on Mulder’s desk next to… her mom? She notices the Lone Gunmen standing by a cake. A crooked banner hangs behind Skinner, whose hand sits on his undrawn gun. Scully looks back to Mulder and finds him watching her in amusement, his barely suppressed laugh escaping as he starts to say something. He steps closer, gently placing his hands over hers and extricating the gun from her grip.
“Happy birthday?” he manages with a sheepish grin before devolving into a full fit of laughter. She watches him incredulously, her heartbeat still pounding in her ears. Slowly, guests begin to emerge from their hiding spots.
“MULDER!” Scully yells, pushing him lightly. “That’s not funny!” Mulder doesn’t respond. His laughter has overtaken him and rendered him incapable of speaking. The other guests stifle their grins as her panic slowly subsides.
“It wasn’t meant to be funny!” he gasps, trying to regain his composure. “It was meant to be a surprise.” His hands are on her shoulders now, gently guiding her out of the doorway and farther into the apartment. “So, uh… surprise?”
Scully glances up at him, her face breaking into a smile in spite of herself. She shakes her head at him, heart bursting with affection as he meets her look with a delighted grin. From the kitchen, Langly blows a party horn. The guests begin to clap and cheer. Mulder jokingly takes several exaggerated bows as Scully buries her smile in both her hands, the room breaking into a flurry of party activities.
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Some time after midnight, when the guests have cleared out and it’s finally just the two of them, Scully and Mulder sit side-by-side on Mulder’s couch, faces alight with the teal glow of his fish tank. Their shoulders are pressed firmly together, feet resting on the coffee table as they lean into the comfort of his couch. Scully’s head rests lightly on Mulder’s shoulder.
“Mulder,” Scully says thoughtfully.
“Hm?” Mulder responds.
“In all the years that I’ve known you, you have had some remarkably terrible ideas.” Scully pauses. “But I have to say… this was–by a long shot–the absolute worst idea you have ever had.” Scully turns her head and angles it slightly up toward Mulder, just enough to glimpse the expression on his face. The smile on his face warms his voice and fills Scully’s heart with renewed affection.
“Hey, I think you were the problem,” he quips. “The idea itself was very nice.” Scully presses a grin into his shoulder.
“I guess it is a nice idea,” Scully concedes. She shifts slightly so she can wrap her right arm around his left, tacitly thanking him for his thoughtfulness and care. Mulder’s smile deepens as he finds her hand and intertwines it with his. He rubs his thumb back and forth and Scully squeezes his hand. “And you did manage to surprise me.”
Mulder glances down, meeting Scully’s gaze with a satisfied grin as she smiles up at him.
“I am never throwing you a surprise party again.”