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The Badun Detective Agency were on a mission.
The mission? Finding something mildly edible in the barrage for their lunch.
“I don’t think we’re gonna find anything.” Eddie yawned, kicking yet another empty soda can with his foot.
“Well, if we don't find anything then just pick up the most expensive lookin’ thing so we can pawn it at Jafar's.” Harry retorted, laying on his knees as he used his hands to dog through the rumble.
The others weren't that far from them.
Reza picked up a moldy plastic bag with the tips of his fingers. “Doubt we can do that, either.”
Jace sighed loud enough for them to hear him despite the fact that they couldn't really see what he was doing from wherever he was doing it in thanks to all the heaps of trash. “I wish you guys would stop being so negative.”
“Me too. Come on! Turn those frowns upside down!” Hermie chimed in, leaning upside down from the second story of the boat. “It’s not so bad here, see! I found a bunch of bananas!”
“Good find!” Yzla called, making her way over to her. “I got a fancy looking shoe!”
“I found half a box of cigars!”
“I found a gun!”
That was surely not going to go poorly.
Yzla paled. “Jace! Put that down!”
“No way! I'm keeping it. Better protection for us.”
Eddie, who had plopped himself down on a pile of garbage, chuckled to himself. Wanting to play along, he grabbed the first thing his fingers touched. “Hey, guys, I found a net!”
“Ooo! We can catch pigeons with that and make pigeon pot pie!” Hermie’s squeal could be heard from a mile away as she briefly lost her balance, causing her to almost fall from where she was dangling in her excitement. Not that it seemed to bother her.
It never did.
Reza made a face. “I found…a stick.” He waved it in the air.
Harry laughed. “I'll trade you the cigars for the stick.”
“Deal.”
Jace found another gun and bullets for both of them, somehow.
Harry found a shiv, a thing of what they assumed was beer, and a box of cigarettes.
Hermie found clown shoes and some pearls.
Yzla found a painting and some earrings.
Reza found some books and a telescope.
Eddie frowned, kicking another goddam soda can out of his way. He hadn’t found anything cool yet, besides his net, clutched in his hand. He wanted to find something cool.
Something caught his attention in the corner of his eye. A plastic bag shifted and shuffled around. But there was no wind.
How odd.
Maybe there was something cool moving the bag?
He crept across the garbage towards the bag. It shuffled again.
And that's when he saw it.
A turtle in distress—trapped in a circle of trash below deck!
“Don't worry! I'll save you!” He looked around for something to save the turtle with, then remembered he had the net in his hands.
He leaned over the side of the barrage, sticking his tongue out in concentration, waving his net at the turtle. “Don’t be scared!”
“Eddie, who are you talking to?” Hermie asked from off in the distance but the British boy didn't answer. Too laser focused on the task at hand. He could tell her later once he saved his new friend. This discovery was SO much cooler than a telescope.
The turtle looked at him with squinty eyes and moved towards a pair of nunchucks determinedly. They must have belonged to him—her? It? Yes, that's right. They must have belonged to the turtle.
Eddie couldn't help but giggle at the thought and the imaginary it brought to mind. A turtle that could use nunchucks seemed so silly but it was the only logical conclusion—why else would the turtle be moving away from safety?
He scooped the net into the garbage, trying to get the turtle, and the nunchucks.
“Almost…almost…got it!” He pulled the net up, turtle and nunchucks in the net.
The turtle kicked its legs, staring at him.
“There we go! I got ya little guy. Don't worry. My friends and I will take real good care of ya!”
The little guy in question didn't look impressed in the slightest but Eddie didn't blame him—he wouldn't be impressed either if he'd been thrown away and abandoned in the trash. What kind of jerk did that?
“Eddie, who are you—OH MY GOD, A BABY!” Hermie shrieked excitedly, bounding over to the brunette. “He's soooooo cute! What's his name? It is a he right? Or is it a she? Wait, do turtles even have boys and girls? Aw who cares! What's the turtle's name?”
“Hmm…I dunno.” Eddie peered at the turtle.
“We should make it our official mascot!” Harry declared.
“Shouldn't we get something a bit…smarter ?” Reza asked, peering over Eddie's shoulder to get a better glimpse of the little creature. Looking skeptical.
Harry almost looked offended. “What’d you mean?! Clearly, this thing is the picture of intelligence!” He gestured towards the turtle.
“I don't believe you.”
“Reza be nice.” Jace crossed his arms, trying to stop the fight he could see coming from a mile away. “It's not nice to insult Eddie's find.”
Now the turtle looked offended.
Yzla rolled her eyes. “Guys, quit it! The turtle’s fine. I think she’ll make a good mascot!”
The turtle snapped its jaws at that remark looking right at her.
“I take it back. He is smart after all.” Reza hummed, looking pleased.
“Told ya.”
“Harry, don't start.” Jace groaned.
PHWWEEEHHTTT!
They all pale at the sound of the barrage whistle. “Time to make a run for it, guys!” Jace calls, already grabbing his things and moving.
The others didn't need to be told twice.
The last thing they wanted was to get on the goblins’ bad side. It would be almost impossible to find anything good on the barrage ever again if they did. Those goblins could hold a grudge.
Later that day the kids sat in a circle around their new turtle friend in the de Vil treehouse—all of them doing their best to brainstorm up a name for their little mascot.
No, not just any name.
A good memorable name.
One that suited him.
After all, they couldn't name a scarily smart nunchuck wielding turtle, something stupid like ‘Lovely’, silly like ‘smartie’, or something bland and boring like ‘Sheldon’. Unfortunately this little endeavor of theirs was a little harder than they had initially thought it would be—like all of their adventures did.
Meaning that they couldn’t quite agree on a name.
“Sparkles!”
“Jimmy!”
“No, Sparkles is too silly and Jimmy is too bland.”
“Mikey?”
“Who would name a turtle mikey?”
“Harry, if you’re going to act so picky you can name the turtle.” Jace cut in, sounding more than a little prickly. “You haven’t suggested a single name.”
“That’s because I’m judging them.”
“Well judge less and start making suggestions.”
Harry threw his hands up in the air. “Fine. How about conundrum?”
“Some of us can’t say Conundrum, Harry.” Reza snorted, picking at his nails. Likely still salty that everyone had turned his suggestions of Eruka, Einstein, Enygma, Camelopardalis, Sherlock, Uranium, Auriga, and Apus down unanimously.
“Don't be bitter, Re, It doesn’t look good on you.”
“Shut up Eddie.”
“Hey, don’t be mean to Eddie!” Hermie whined. “Why can’t we all just get along?”
“Because I don’t want to.” Reza muttered.
“Moving on!” Yzla clapped her hands. “How about Noir?”
“Noir doesn’t quite roll off the tongue. How about Mystery?”
Eddie perked up, suddenly grinning—-still petting their little turtle friend from where he laid on his stomach. Much like the creature was. “Ooo! I like that! How about we name him Mystery Conundrum Noir? It sounds like one of those detectives from those romance novels Jace reads—”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jace denied immediately, but the look of panic on his quickly pinking face said there was more truth to what the other boy was saying than to what he himself was.
Harry just waved him off. “That sounds like an awesome idea! All in favor of Mystery Conundrum Noir, raise your right hand and say ‘I’!”
“I.”
“I.”
“I, I guess.”
“Whatever, I.”
“I still think that Sherlock would be a much better name.” Reza grumbled, begrudgingly raising his hand. “I.”
The turtle squinted at all of them before raising its own…hand? Which caused the children to all giggle.
“I guess that settles it! Welcome to the Badun Detective Agency, Mystery.” Eddie smiled, cheerfully scooping the small creature up with a great amount of care—or as close as a nine year old could muster, at least. “Don’t worry, we’ll take great care of you and make you a nice little spot in the box Herms found.”