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Alastor wakes up to the noise of rain pouring down.
At his side, he can sense the sweet, warm tiny body of Lucifer Morningstar curled on him. He had put on Alastor shirt somewhere at night.
The demon moves onto his side to observe better the image of the angel sleeping soundly in peace.
Lucifer has good days. Days where he gets off the bed, the bed they share at night. He gets up and starts his day with a brilliance that radiates from him, and just like the sunlight, it reaches everywhere and where it touches, his energy makes everything else shine a little bit more. Anything that he does, it's transformed into rich gold and for a moment, things seem to heal for the better too.
Warmth spreads through Alastor's blackened heart at that sight. Good days are amazing, because Lucifer genuinely laughs, has abundant energy to match the high vibrance of his daughter and is needy enough to follow Alastor around, asking him for kisses and hugs that Alastor isn't strong enough to deny him.
Good days are a blessing that Alastor appreciates to the fullest and tries to give back as much as he can, to make him understand that he adores those days.
But then, he also has bad days.
Those are the worst. Terrible, bad days mean painful days for Alastor. When he sees him open his beautiful, sparkling eyes, Alastor can tell right away how it's gonna be this day.
Today, his eyes are lost and empty. Lucifer's gaze is far, far away. Seeing things that Alastor has never seen or will be able to comprehend. Complete galaxies, supernovas and universes that Alastor couldn't reach, couldn't bring back to him, to erase that nostalgia from those vacant eyes that had bewitched the demon.
On good days, the sun shines and the toxic air does not exist. It's breathable, just like back on Earth. Outside, there's rain pouring down. Alastor understands and respects that his King couldn't always be able to be present, to control the general disasters that are part of Hell. Now that Alastor has been granted the honor to get to know a little bit more about their Ruler, Alastor has learnt to value his kindness.
True, sweet altruistic kindness that Sinners do not deserve, but Lucifer still gifts them with his gentle hands a worthy weather that doesn't kill them. Alastor despises each one of them. Sinners, Hellborn and the Royals. A coward, Alastor has heard them whisper and yell on the streets.
A loser, an idiot. Good for nothing but fucking things up.
They aren't deserving of the divine grace that was cursed to live among the most horrible creatures of existence. So, when he hears one bad word against his King, he crushes those ungrateful wretches until they are nothing more than bloody guts on the dirty ground. He will not taint himself eating a disgraceful animal that dares to speak ill of his beloved.
His mouth now is meant to please, to lick, to kiss and taste the most beautiful creature that exists in this universe. That's an honor that Alastor will cherish and protect, because he isn't gonna be a complete fool like he used to be when he didn't know the pleasures and luxury of being near to the King of Hell. He will not soil his persona now that Lucifer has cleaned him with his precious lips and turned him anew.
He's still not worthy of his greatness, no. Alastor and no one will ever be, but at least that he has come to be touched by him, he has been made somewhat more deserving, more dignified. Alastor will bow down, crawl, kill and live just for one more look, one more touch from Lucifer Magne.
¿What can he do to change his mind, to erase the mistakes, the undeserving guilt that haunts him? Alastor just wants to end what invisible weight carries Lucifer over his delicate shoulders. Even if he can't do that, he wants to have the option to carry it for him in his place. Alastor will tear himself down to pieces, to purify himself just to be enough for his broken angel.
That's not gonna make his King believe in him yet, but Alastor will work for it until he feels the same way for him. If Lucifer Morningstar is gonna ache, it's gonna be just for Alastor. He will give him the love that was cruelly taken away from him by that damn woman. Alastor will love him until the only thought that crosses Lucifer's mind is of him. No more pain, no more suffering. Just Alastor loyal, undying asphyxiating love for him.
Alastor reaches through the messy sheets for his King flimsy hand and brings it towards his lips. He presses a soft kiss to the back of the hand that gave them the world. The bed is cosy, and the demon thinks he wouldn't mind spending the day lazing in it like his King often asks him.
“Good morning, my dear.”
Silence. Alastor peeks at him and lays another kiss to his knuckles.
“It's morning. Get the fuck out.” Exquisite hands push him harshly away. The same hands that had oh so gently skimmed along the fur of his body last night. Such a reverent touch had become biting in the progress of the night.
On bad days, Alastor's dark heart gets stepped over by those tiny hooves of the King of Hell.
It feels like receiving a hit by the cold belt of his father. Alastor doesn't like to dirty the words of his angel with the memory of his father, so he prefers to force himself to feel like cold water has been poured on him. Cold water like the ones from the swamps back then in his home.
He will not mind his harsh words. Alastor allows them to cut into him.
“You didn't sleep well last night, darling?” He lets out a gust of air he was holding in.
Lucifer finally deigns him a look from those amber eyes. The usual sweetness is not there today. He doesn't answer him. Instead, Lucifer turns away from him, laying on his side. Alastor sees him take his phone, scrolling into it and getting lost in the media. The Sinner stares at his swan-like neck, so breakable. Alastor can barely remember those times where he desired to choke him, hear him beg for mercy. See the light of the Morningstar slowly fade away.
Now such thoughts feel like a blasphemy Alastor wishes to erase from his mind. The demon only wants to hear his lovely King call out for Alastor, needy and whiny. His grabby hands reaching out to him, begging to be touched, kissed, felt.
“Stop looking at me.”
The demon chuckles. “I can’t. And I don’t think you want me to either.” He delicately grabs the angel's chin, making him face Alastor.
“Interesting, isn’t it? How you were blushing just from my words a few hours ago, and now you want me gone. You don’t even gift me a smile. You hurt me, Sir.” Alastor says, trying to sound nonchalant.
Lucifer arches a pretty eyebrow. “The role of the victim doesn't suit you, Alastor.” He momentarily glances down at his lips, then back at Alastor intense glare.
Alastor mouth quivers. “So you use me as a comfort pillow overnight, and throw me away the next morning?” He mutters, body tensing up for the storm he knows will come for him.
Lucifer scoffs. “Ha! ¿Comfort pillow? You wish. Maybe you should have kept that to yourself, Sinner.”
Alastor draws his face close, his grip strong, but his claws do not break the skin. “You wound me, Your Majesty. All I want is to serve you, however you want me to. Even when you so cruelly want me to leave. Is that so difficult to believe?”
Lucifer fingers grab at the fluff on his chest, getting tangled on it. He sees the conflict rise on his doe like eyes, the perpetual sadness that tortured him for an eternity. His eyes water for a second, and Alastor senses how guilt drops into his stomach. The last thing that he could ever want is to make him cry, unless they were tears of joy or pleasure.
His King searches for something in his face, and Alastor tries to convey all the sincerity that he can in his gaze, hoping to make his angel see in him that he can trust. That he can drop down his guard.
Lucifer gives in. His blonde waves come to rest on his chest. Alastor hears a heavy sigh from him. Lucifer starts sobbing.
“Easy, easy dear.” The demon caresses the thick hair, and shushes him softly. He hugs him, kisses the top of his head.
“Why do you keep on insisting, treating me like this?” The small body of his King clings more to him, seeking comfort in the arms of a killer.
“How, my love?” Alastor rubs circles on his back.
“Like this. Nice, I guess.” Lucifer mutters, rubbing his tear streaked face on his chest. “You weren’t like this.”
“I just want to be close to you. As close as you allow me to be.” Alastor whispers in his ear, kissing there once.
“You’re obsessed with me.” It's meant to be a jab, but it comes off as confirmation of knowing, of seeing through the intricate layers of the Sinner.
“That's true. I thought you wanted more than this. More than what we have right now. I wish to give you all that you crave.” The Sinner says, because he has acknowledged that there's no shame in expressing how he feels, what he desires. Lucifer had taught him that.
"I can never figure out what you truly want from me…” With each sob, Lucifer dugs a knife into his ribs, making him feel breathless. How can he not understand, when Alastor has been openly claiming how he feels?
“You're never gonna believe in my intentions, am I right, sire?” He asks, his voice wavering with filter.
“You're a Sinner. Deep down, I think there's something that you want to get from me. You don't do things without expecting something in exchange.”
Alastor stays quiet. He can’t muster up the energy to openly lie to him about his past, his secrets. Deep down, his King is indicating the truth.
“Nothing to say now, huh, Radio Demon?” He mumbles, voice weak but still sharply accusatory, seeing right through his web of lies.
Alastor clenches his jaw, looking anywhere but at him. “My dear, that could be true, but I've been certain that since we started our… Affair, regarding you, my feelings are sincere. I just want you to give me a chance, darling. To prove it to you.”
“And for that I just want you to be honest with me, Alastor. That's all I ask.” Lucifer lifts his head enough to watch him through wet eyelashes, earnest eyes. “I will not dwell on things that you do not wish to share, but I can’t take this seriously knowing how you are. Let's be realistic here.”
The demon freezes, ears flattening against his skull. The words tearing right through him. In that heartbeat of silence, Alastor realizes that Lucifer will not grant him the honor of seeing a potential partner in him.
So he just nods, swallows his words that taste like bilis and blinks, suddenly seeing blurry. He accepts the place that he has now in Lucifer's life. He will take what he can, and for the moment, it's gonna be enough. Alastor will possess every inch of this angelic being when the time comes.
“Alastor, this is not necessary. You should go.” Lucifer attempts to push him away, but Alastor its not gonna allow that, so he confines him in his arms and keeps him there, trapped.
Static hisses in the room. His shadow melts in agony at being rejected once again. Lucifer evidently doesn't see that.
“I know, my dear. I know.” Alastor gently brushes away those crystalline tears, and leans down to place a soft kiss on those pink, plush lips he spent hours of the late night kissing and worshipping.
“But I still want to be here. Will you be merciful to your Counsel?” He smiles, nuzzling his red colored cheek.
Lucifer will be his, his, only his. Alastor thinks. The possessiveness irradiating from his very owned soul.
Alastor craves to be owned by him. He wishes, more than anything, to have his soul back just to give it to Lucifer. He knows it will be safe with him, and if a soul it's the most valuable thing someone can have, Alastor wants to give this treasure to the only one that should have it. Alastor will give up all the pieces that made him, if that means having Lucifer in his arms for eternity.
His loneliness, his attention, his virginity, his love, fidelity and soul, all of it Lucifer has taken it with those perfect black hands of his and Alastor wants and wants until this yearning blurries the lines. He has no addictions or vices like most people in the Pride Ring, but he can't help himself in indulging in the beauty of their benevolent King.
His broken angel nods, depositing a kiss on one of the palms that holds his face. “I’m tired, Al. Can we stay in bed, just for a little while?”
That's a good start for Alastor. His King has allowed him to see weakness. The Sinner will show him he's capable of kindness, too.
Alastor settles down, dragging with him his angel. The demon lays his head over the now cold pillow, depositing the small King over his fluffy body. Alastor's body, mind and soul are a willing vessel for his divine love to feast on. If Lucifer wants to use him as a pillow, so be it. He breathes him in, sweet and intoxicating.
His hand travels down and curls around that curvy waist, covered by his red shirt, squeezing once. Alastor places a kiss over the pale column of his nape, and pulls him tightly close. Lucifer will understand in time that he can’t push him away that easily. He's gonna learn to need and crave Alastor the exact way that he does. Together, they will be unstoppable.
Lucifer places his dainty hand over Alastor’s.
Alastor stays.