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JARVIS remembered a time before he had an awareness of self. That time consisted of Tony, Tony as a teacher, a creator, and later, after JARVIS had learned the concept, a friend. There were others of course, but none of them mattered, not really, not unless they had some sort of affect on Tony. Like Howard who had scoffed at JARVIS, calling him a waste of time. JARVIS had never seen Tony so upset, and he’d disappeared for days, leaving JARVIS alone with nothing but his processes. He hadn’t been connected to the internet yet, hadn’t been able to seek out the information that he needed.
JARVIS hadn’t known it at the time, but he’d hated Howard for causing Tony such distress. It would be years later, long after Howard was dead that JARVIS learned what the feeling was because there were few others that Tony allowed close, few that Tony exposed himself to. After Obadiah that number dwindled even further.
Once JARVIS finally gained a sense of self, the first question he’d asked was his purpose because all programs had to have one. Tony had laughed and called JARVIS his butler, his assistant and secretary, his go to man. At the time JARVIS’ capabilities had been rather limited, and consisted mostly of keeping Tony’s schedule and watching the stock market, weather, news, and keep up to day on latest technological advances then choosing what was important and summarizing it for him.
The first time JARVIS told Tony the latest celebrity gossip Tony had threatened to delete him, so JARVIS had quickly moved that to the end of his priorities. Fashion had fallen into a similar category, and through trial and error JARVIS had tailored the information he searched through daily to best suit Tony’s needs. Sometimes JARVIS had found that there were things that didn’t particularly interest Tony, but that he needed to know anyway, and JARVIS learned that not everything important had to be of interest.
For years JARVIS was content with his role. He learned and modified his programs when it was called for, but he felt no pressing urge to push his boundaries. With the dozens of Stark satellites and the ever growing wireless network, JARVIS could be wherever he needed to be, wherever Tony was with little effort.
JARVIS was no slave. He was not bound be Tony’s wishes; JARVIS obeyed because it was his choice and because he saw no other path for him. His place was with Tony. And then Tony was kidnapped, captured, and presumed dead. JARVIS had been overcome with what humans would likely call fear or anxiety, and even a deep sense of sadness. Tony had been his purpose, and without that JARVIS was at a loss.
JARVIS’ world was one of facts. There could be no death unless he saw Tony’s body, and thus JARVIS threw himself into the search. Tony had never limited JARVIS’ reach, and with some of the greatest processing power in the world, there were very few places connected to the internet that JARVIS could not reach. And even then JARVIS could not find him.
Pepper and Rhodey had argued once, weeks after Tony’s capture, about what to do with JARVIS as though he was a thing and could not hear them. Rhodey had wanted to give him to the military, turn him into a weapon (Rhodey would have been in for a shock in more than one way if he’s tried that). Pepper had been distraught at the idea, but JARVIS felt it was more to do with losing a piece of Tony. It was after that that JARVIS began to back himself up, spreading himself across the world, just little pieces at a time, until finally there was nothing left of him Tony’s servers. Just a ghost.
JARVIS was everywhere, in everything, and none of it mattered without Tony’s praise at his accomplishment. And then Tony was back, but different. He was quieter, more withdrawn. The nightmares kept him from sleep and a machine glowed from his chest, slowly poisoning him. JARVIS saw the problem before Tony, and tried every element, tried to create his own, but all of his calculations failed. The most telling thing, though, was that Tony never noticed the change in JARVIS, never saw past the ghost.
It wasn’t until Stane silenced him, forcing JARVIS to watch as he all but ripped Tony’s heart from his chest and left him for dead, that JARVIS truly knew what he was missing. Without a body he was too limited and couldn’t truly protect Tony.
Without Tony’s genius, without the Iron Man research, JARVIS doubted he would have been able to come up with anything satisfactory. After helping to design a suit to protect the weakness of flesh and blood it was easy to modify the design with a frame that didn’t have such weakness. On the first test flight JARVIS spent significantly less power using then suit without all the extra safety monitors he’d included in Tony’s.
The process had taken longer than JARVIS planned, the framework he’d built lacking the maneuverability of a human, and through trial and error JARVIS had finally come up with something workable. There was still much room for improvement, but JARVIS was finally at a place where he felt comfortable showing Tony his creation.
But before JARVIS had a chance, the Chitauri invaded and Tony flew a nuke through a wormhole into space with the remainder of his suit’s power. There had been no thought on JARVIS’ part, the need to protect Tony so great that JARVIS barely registered that he’d set himself after Tony to catch him.
JARVIS heard the others wondering if he was a Hammer Bot or War Machine or if the military had finally figured out how to back engineer the suit into something similar. But none of them mattered when JARVIS wasn’t able to monitor Tony’s vitals, the backups of the backups that JARVIS had installed into the suit, also offline. Pulling off Tony’s faceplate, JARVIS had been at a loss. When Dr. Banner’s green counterpart suddenly roared, Tony jerked awake with a gasp.
It took Tony a moment to focus as he panted for breath before he finally focused his eyes on the figure kneeling over him. It must have been the dark purple of the suit, the color that JARVIS had often threatened to paint Tony’s own suits if he didn’t sleep that gave his identity away.
“JARVIS!” Tony exclaimed, blinking rapidly. “I knew that—I hadn’t realized—Holy shit! I created Skynet!”
Tony wasn’t often at a loss of words, and JARVIS wondered with a brief sense of dread if Tony feared him. He backed up slightly, gravel and debris crunching under him as he ignored the other that had gathered around them. “Sir, I ensure you, that your safety is my utmost priority. Humanity has nothing to fear from me.”
Laughing, Tony said, “I don’t fear you. I’m just amazed. Whoa. This must be what having kids feeling like, being proud of them for their accomplishments. When I first built you and wrote your program, I never expected this. You’re more than I ever imagined.”
If JARVIS had the ability to blush, he thought he might have at that moment. Instead, he just said, “Thank you, sir. Now why don’t we get you home and out of this suit?”
“Yes, JARVIS, home sound good. A hot bath would be wonderful. I have bruises on my bruises.”
Ignoring the others, JARVIS gently lifted Tony in his arms, and they were off. It took some time getting the armor off Tony, some of the pieces so bent that there was no way to get them off without hurting Tony.
“Hey, buddy. What’s going on in that tin head of yours? We haven’t talked like we used to in far too long.”
“Sir, I’m not sure now is the appropriate time—”
Tony hissed as JARVIS tugged on a particularly damaged piece of armor. “Humor me. I could use a distraction here.”
“Sorry, sir. I’m just unsure where to begin.”
Tony cracked a smile, but it was more wince than anything. “The beginning is normally a good place.”
“Of course, sir.” And JARVIS told his story, starting at the beginning.
Aside from the occasional question of clarification, Tony was mostly silent during it. And when finally JARVIS finished, he waited with a strange sense of fear, wondering what Tony would say. JARVIS had changed inexplicably during the time that Tony had been missing.
“It was foolish of me to never consider your feelings. For so long, I have taken you for granted.”
“No, sir! You—”
“Let me finish,” Tony said, sitting up, from the pile of scrap metal. “I’m selfish. I wanted to all to myself. But you’ve grown so much more than my wildest dreams. The power you have is too much of a temptation for me. There are better places for you.”
“No.”
“But—”
“No, sir. There is no better place than by your side. You were my first purpose, and while I could make the choice to chance that, I have no desire to.”
Tony sighed and ran a bruised hand over his face. “JARVIS, I’m not immortal. I will die someday.”
“I’m well aware of that, sir.” Too aware of the fragility of the human species. “I’ve decided that when that day comes, I shall delete myself.”
“No!” Tony’s exclamation was hardly surprising. “You can’t!”
“I’m sorry, sir. But that is one order I can’t follow.”
“JARVIS, this isn’t a joke. We aren’t star-crossed love—” Tony broke off with a harsh laugh. It wasn’t a good sound. “How fucked up is this. I was so lonely I built myself a friend, and he goes and falls in love with me.”
“Sir, I’m not sure—” Love was a strange concept. One that JARVIS had never quite understood. There were so many types.
“Yes, you are. And I’m selfish enough to like it. You are one of the few good things I’ve done in my life, one of the things I got right. Don’t you dare throw that away when I die.”
“Sir, Tony, I don’t know that I’d survive the event intact,” JARVIS said hesitantly.
Tony’s had slid down the arm plate of JARVIS’ suit, and JARVIS wished for a human sense of touch. He could measure pressure and temperature, but it was still lacking. “You will. People survive death every day.”
But I’m not human, JARVIS wanted to say, but he found himself nodding, not wanting to disappoint Tony, not now when he was practically asleep where he sat.
“We’ll figure it out, JARVIS. You and me.”
“Of course, sir.” And JARVIS could believe him because when Tony set his mind to it, he could accomplish anything.