Archive of Our Own

It truly was the perfect evening for a movie night. It wasn’t quite cold enough for a jacket yet, not for a short trip to the convenience store anyway, but the air was brisk and it was already getting darker again. The evening smelled of autumn and pollution, but it was easy to focus on the autumn scent.

Luckily the closest convenience store was only about ten minutes down the road, and it was one of the big ones that had everything a young man could dream of. Especially one who was planning a cosy night in on his own because his flatmate was spending his weekend with his boyfriend on some kind of trip.

His own trip to the convenience store turned out to be a blazing success, with every single thing seemingly being on special offer today. The shop owner had even thrown in some ramen packs for free, so the backpack was weighing heavy on his broad shoulders while he made his way back to his apartment complex. But when he arrived at the door he found himself unable to let himself in.

Sunwoo was always whining around about how annoying it was that they had keys instead of door codes. How oldschool it was and how annoying. But Juyeon had always found it charming and kind of romantic in a way. Not tonight though. Although it wasn’t the key’s fault but his own.

The saddest thing about this moment was that there was not a single bit of surprise in it. Juyeon patted down on his right jean pocket, then his left, he checked his back pockets before moving on to the pockets of his cardigan. Nothing. He found his phone, his wallet, a pack of gum, even his broken key chain Eric had brought him back from LA last year that he had stuffed into the tiny compartment of his backpack back when it fell of his keys, but not his keys.

Juyeon let out a deep sigh when he crouched down in front of his house again and opened his backpack for the third time. He took out the ramen packets, the snacks, his drinks, the bag of jelly candy he used to eat as a kid and had bought in a rush of nostalgia. Everything was placed onto his doorsteps only to find nothing else at the bottom of his backpack.

He checked the front pocket again as well, which was of course void of his keys, the only thing laughing back at him were a few pouches of vitamins next to the broken key chain. Yeah, he would have to take all of them if he ended up sleeping on the streets.

Juyeon shoved everything back into his bag, his mind already running through every one of his friends, wondering who he could crash at for a night. Eric had their spare keys, but he was only coming back from his training camp tomorrow. But that meant he only needed one night.

God, Juyeon was so annoyed at himself. It was never that big of a deal if he forgot his keys at home. Eric was usually very ready to hurry over to bring him the spare and stay for while on top of it, and even whenever Sunwoo was spending an evening at his boyfriend’s place, Juyeon could always go by and pick up the keys as it was just a few blocks down too. Or Sunwoo would just be home.

He really had no idea where he could even crash until he heard his phone vibrate with a notification from the group chat. The message was from the only one of them who didn’t seem to be on some kind of trip at the moment. They might have not seen each other in a while. Not ever since the other had moved into his new flat and had started his new job. But Juyeon remembered that the new flat wasn’t even that far away from here.

Juyeon was weirdly nervous when he called the other. But this was the only option coming to his mind right now, so might as well catch up.

***

”I’m so sorry I called you this late…,” Juyeon only managed to say before Sangyeon pulled him into a hug he hadn’t expected.

Juyeon hadn’t even properly entered the flat yet when Sangyeon did so. “ah, no, don’t worry. I had too much coffee today, I wasn’t going to bed soon anyway. Come in, come in.”

That was an easy request when there seemed to be some kind of magic pulling Juyeon into the flat. The light alone was so inviting and combined with the smell of fresh laundry and some candles, it was like entering a proper home.

“You’ve not seen my new flat yet, right?” Sangyeon must have noticed Juyeon looking around curiously for him to say that.

Juyeon shook his head, feeling embarrassed about it. The other must be living here for almost a year now, and they had barely even seen each other. Juyeon wanted to argue about starting a new job himself, and life being so crazy lately, but it wasn’t enough to even convince himself.

“I already took out some pillows and blankets for you. I was about to make the bed,” Sangyeon said and showed Juyeon the place he would get the privilege of crashing at. “Well, it’s not really a bed, but the daybed is super comfortable I promise. Sometimes I fall asleep here while reading,” Sangyeon explained.

Juyeon was just left to stare when Sangyeon pulled some sheets onto a day bed right next to the window. It was not only a window though, it was a full bay window with curtains that had just the perfect colour of creamy white. All of that combined with the smoothness with which Sangyeon managed to make the bed, something that always looked like the silliest job on earth whenever Juyeon did it, he was like under a spell.

“How does the day bed fit that corner so perfectly?” Juyeon asked. It was the only thing Juyeon managed to say without sounding like a complete idiot. Although maybe he still sounded like a complete idiot anyway.

Sangyeon fluffed up the pillows like a true adult before answering Juyeon’s question.

“Oh, my dad and I built it together,” he said, like it was nothing. “There was nothing that really fit, so we decided to just build our own in my dad’s work shop.”

There was always something new to learn about Sangyeon. Juyeon could only nod in response as he let that information settle into his brain. The other always dropped these kinds of things like some casual side information, even though it was the most fascinating thing ever.

“Shall I give you something to change into while I make us some tea?” Sangyeon turned back to Juyeon with a smile that screamed ‘home’ just as much as this living room did. “I fear I might not have all that much to offer, it’s laundry day.”

Juyeon would have slept in his current sweat pants and cardigan combo, but if Sangyeon offered, then Juyeon might as well accept, so he nodded. “Thank you, hyung.”

Even Sangyeon’s bathroom felt extra cozy. It was something Juyeon would have never even been able to imagine, but Sangyeon had some scent thingy in there that made him not want to leave the bathroom at all. But he also didn’t want to be weirder than he already was by letting his hands run over the hoodie appreciatively. Of course Sangyeon could also do laundry like some proper adult as well. He was probably using some fancy fabric softener too.

Juyeon really had to pull himself out of here and join Sangyeon in the kitchen instead. The other was currently preparing some tea for them. Of course it was none of the bagged tea Juyeon had at home, but some proper organic something that smelled like a flower garden even before the water had hit the lose leaves.

“Your home is really great, Hyung,” Juyeon said, fumbling with his backpack to unpack the snacks he had gotten earlier. It was the least he could offer.

“Thank you,” Sangyeon said, the smile apparent in his voice. And even more apparent when he turned around to Juyeon and showed it off. “I feel like it has only now come together completely.”

“Yeah?” Juyeon asked, while busying himself with laying out all the treats on the counter. “It feels like it has always been like that.”

Sangyeon only chuckled in response, Juyeon didn’t completely know why, but the other was already by his side before he could think any further.

“So you went on a snack hunt and forgot your keys at home?” Sangyeon asked as he took a closer look at the selection.

Juyeon rubbed at his neck bashfully. “Yeah, I wanted to watch a movie. I have the flat to myself this weekend so I though I’d go all out.”

Sangyeon’s hand reached Juyeon’s shoulder in a reassuring pat. “Well, sounds like we have a plan then!”

Somehow Sangyeon sounded genuinely excited to have Juyeon over. And it didn’t feel like Juyeon was inconveniencing the other by crashing at his place at all. It didn’t even feel like Juyeon was crashing here in the first place. Sangyeon didn’t even wait another second before he got a tray and some bowls out to prepare the snacks for them. All of it felt like this had been the plan from the start.

And all of the sudden they were settling on the day bed because Juyeon was so curious to try it out, even though Sangyeon also had a sofa from which it would have been easier to watch a movie.

The thing was, though, that they didn’t even end up watching a movie anyway. They went through a dangerous amount of the snacks and two pots of tea. Sangyeon’s tea was like no other tea Juyeon had ever tried, so it had been easy to agree when Sangyeon had suggested preparing another one.

And somehow it had been so incredibly easy to forget that they even wanted to watch a movie in the first place. Juyeon had been scared that it might end up being awkward between the two of them after they hadn’t seen each other in so long. But it actually turned out to be the most comfortable thing ever. And even after they caught each other up on the most important life things, they didn’t seem to run out of things to talk about.

Everything Juyeon did sounded so much more exciting when he shared it with Sangyeon. The other still had the same way of making Juyeon feel seen and appreciated like he always had. But there was still something about the other that felt different now. More grown up. It was more than just his job, or this apartment or the way he dressed. There seemed to be a sense of security in his own person that Juyeon saw in the other. He seemed so utterly content with himself and the life he was living it just sparked over onto Juyeon.

Anything he had been worrying about just this morning felt so far away now that he was sitting here with Sangyeon. They had managed to reminisce about the days they had met. Everyone in their friend group always made fun of how they always ended up reminiscing together like some old men, but Juyeon always loved when they did that. With Sangyeon it never felt like they were losing themselves in memories, but rather appreciated the past, thanking it by remembering actively.

Juyeon was still stuck on their shared memories, when Sangyeon had excused himself to go to bed. Well, now it was years later anyway, and it really didn’t matter all that much. Juyeon couldn’t really think all that much about the past when his present was being snuggled up in Sangyeon’s comfortably soft clothes in an equally comfortable daybed. Juyeon could really picture Sangyeon falling asleep in this while reading. It must be so nice living here, was Juyeon’s last thought before falling asleep.

Waking up was more difficult than Juyeon would have expected. Although, that was a lie. Waking up had been easy, but getting out of the make shift bed was the harder part. The bed was so warm, the pillow had the perfect shape for his neck and the fabric softener made his head feel light and free. 

Juyeon groaned though, as he finally willed his body to at least sit up for a moment. The windows were letting all the sunlight in at once, and Juyeon hadn’t been ready for that when opening his eyes. And he hadn’t even been confused about where he was. Juyeon lifted his arms above his head in an attempt to stretch out his body enough to finally get out of bed. And once he did he found slippers right at his feet as well. 

It was eerily quiet when Juyeon finally managed to leave the soft bedsheets behind and wander through the empty living room. He ended up in the kitchen and while a yawn fought its way past Juyeon’s lips he spotted a piece of paper on the kitchen table. He stepped closer curiously unsure if he was overstepping any boundaries when he spotted his name on it. 

Good morning Juyeon :) I’m sorry to leave you behind sleeping like that. There was an emergency at the clinic so I had to run. I left you some breakfast in the fridge and the coffee machine is all set, just press the red button and you’re good to go. I don’t know how long this will take, but you can stick around for however long you need. See you eventually, S

Juyeon felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment as he reread the note. He hadn’t even heard anything. He was usually so sensitive and he never managed to get a good night’s sleep, but he hadn’t even noticed anything. 

But even though he was embarrassed he still walked over to the coffee machine to find it ready to go, just like the note said. There was even a mug ready as well. Juyeon’s pressed the button before venturing over to the fridge. It would be more rude to ignore his hyung’s note than to simply follow his wishes. But when Juyeon had read breakfast in the note he hadn’t expected a fully prepared bowl to just sit there. With another note. 

Put me in the microwave for 30 seconds. 

Juyeon chuckled. Since when did Sangyeon even talk like that? Although Juyeon supposed he didn’t even know Sangyeon like that at all. Even when Juyeon had visited his old place, it had usually been with some of the other guys. Juyeon sat down at the small table by the window, all set with his breakfast and coffee, and he couldn’t stop contemplating their friendship. He supposed last night really had felt like the first time they had ever really been one on one with each other. It hadn’t felt like that at all. 

Juyeon looked around the kitchen with curious eyes. Everything was so tidy around here, and so clean. The fridge had been filled with fresh ingredients and Tupperware full of meal prep. There was a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter, all of which looked fresh and very much eatable and Juyeon just didn’t know how Sangyeon did it. 

He wasn’t messy, not in comparison to Sunwoo. But he also wasn’t as tidy as Eric was either. Eric always said he could never understand him for living with Sunwoo, and that he would rather live on a bark bench than with a raccoon like him. Juyeon didn’t think Sunwoo really was that bad. And raccoons were kind of cute. But that probably was just the thing. 

Juyeon was better whenever he wasn’t busy. But Sangyeon had written into his note that there had been an emergency and yet the only thing left over from any trace of Sangyeon having used the kitchen was the empty mug in the sink. Juyeon sighed. Not everyone could be Lee Sangyeon. God, even his handwriting was so nice and unique. Sunwoo always teased Juyeon’s for his, telling him it looked like a cat had written it, since they had no thumbs and had never learned to use a pen. He always explained it as well as if Juyeon needed the explanation for it. Every. Single. Time. 

He should probably be heading out soon. Even if Sangyeon had said he could stick around for how long he needed, it would feel kind of off to just hand around. Although… Sangyeon had told him he could, and Juyeon really had no other place to go before Eric would be back. Ah, right, he should definitely shoot Eric a text asking him to update him on when he would be back so Juyeon could pick up the spare set of keys. 

Juyeon had never cleaned a set of dishes as carefully as he did right now. He found the right places for everything as well, stumbling over a whole stack of herbal teas along the way, and lots of vitamins too. Sangyeon really seemed to be looking out for himself, and something about that made Juyeon’s heart warm up happily. He liked knowing Sangyeon was living a good life. 

Going through Sangyeon’s cupboards had been an accident. A necessity for finding where the bowls were, actually. And seeing the candle again when Juyeon went to use the bathroom and turning it around to see what brand it was, was no crime either. He wasn’t prying. Wait, there was an extra toothbrush next to the mirror. And… there was another note. 

I’m new. Use me well.

Sangyeon was embarrassing. That was what Juyeon would be saying if there was anyone else around. Mainly Eric or Sunwoo, because they always loved teasing Sangyeon. Juyeon though… he found this incredibly endearing and he was smiling at himself through the mirror when he was brushing his teeth. 

And while he waited for Eric to call him Juyeon found himself back in the living room, his hands flying over Sangyeon’s bookshelves in a feather light touch. Some of them he recognised, and he felt awfully proud for having read them as well. Some were on his to read pile or his reading list. But a lot of them he saw for the first time. 

Sangyeon would be sitting by the window when he read them. Was that his favourite spot in the flat? It definitely was Juyeon’s already. Even after gathering the bedding and folding it as carefully and meticulously as he could, he still felt the pull towards it. And he was just about to doze off again when his phone rang and made way for Eric laughing at him. Juyeon rubbed at the back of his neck when he threw his phone to the side to gather his bag and finally change back into his own clothes. Eric had all reason to laugh, but jokes on him, Juyeon didn’t regret forgetting his keys at all. He was rather glad. 

***

“Did you already visit Hyung’s new flat?” Juyeon asked when Eric was suddenly walking him back home. 

He had just gotten back from the airport, but of course he had more than enough energy today. Ah, and Juyeon supposed the good convenience store was closer to his apartment building as well. 

Eric shook his head. “He’s not really invited anyone over yet,” he said. “I asked about a housewarming party, but he said he’s not fully set up yet.” 

Juyeon frowned. If that wasn’t fully set up yet, what would Sangyeon’s flat look like when it was? He couldn’t even imagine it really. It already felt so much like a home that there was barely any room for improvement. But Sangyeon knew better than Juyeon when it came to these things. He was the one living on his own and leading a full on adult life. Juyeon didn’t feel that far in life yet.

Especially when Eric and him entered his flat to find his keys right in the middle of the kitchen table. And even less so when Juyeon was about to text Sangyeon to once again thank him for helping him out and… didn’t find his phone anywhere. Juyeon’s sigh was enough for Eric to know that what was up before he could say anything.

Juyeon had to go through a whole array of teasing before Eric would let him borrow his phone to call Sangyeon. Lucky for Juyeon that Eric had the number actually, or else he would have awkwardly had to call his own phone and… scratch that, it wouldn’t even have been more embarrassing than this already was. Juyeon was the worst and he knew that without Eric pointing it out.

“Hyung?” Juyeon asked when he only heard some shuffling at the other end of the line.

“Juyeon, Hi,” Sangyeon’s voice sounded a bit muffled until the background noise stopped. “I was about to bring over your phone. I just need to put away the groceries then I’ll be on my way.”

Juyeon felt his ears burn red in embarrassement. Luckily Eric didn’t say anything about it, most likely only because Sangyeon was listening.

“Ah, no, Hyung, no. It’s fine. I’ll just come pick it up, you were working all day,” Juyeon was quick to give back. “You put away your shopping and I’ll be over soon.”

And before Sangyeon could argue with him, Juyeon ended the call and pushed the phone back into Eric’s hand. He might have not said anything teasing while Juyeon had been on the phone, but now he wasn’t fighting his loud laughter anymore.

“Don’t forget your keys this time,” Eric laughed while Juyeon pushed him out of the door. “Should I accompany you to Sangyeon’s place? Not that you get lost on the way,” Eric continued laughing all the way down the hallway.

“Go home, Eric. You just came back. Go to bed and avoid jet lag,” Juyeon said, mostly wanting the other to avoid him actually. This was all already embarrassing enough, he didn’t need Eric laugh at him on top of that.

The walk to Sangyeon’s place felt even shorter this time around. The pull towards his place seemed enough to fasten Juyeon’s pace even though he made a short pit stop on his way. And even if he felt embarrassed about it, he did feel kind of excited too when he rang Sangyeon’s bell again. And even more when Sangyeon let him in.

“You didn’t even let me argue,” Sangyeon complained even before Juyeon was at his door.

Juyeon smiled triumphantly at that complaint and held the bag of take out he had gotten for the other out to him instead. “Here, that’s for being a dummy twice in a row and inconveniencing you both times.”

“What’s this?” Sangyeon accepted the bag and opened it curiously. “There was no need for that, Juyeonie…”

But the almost bashful smile was already more than worth it for Juyeon.

“Ah, it’s fine. I had to pick up my phone anyway,” Juyeon chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll just take my phone and let you enjoy your food.”

He stood there, not even taking off his shoes so that Sangyeon would just hand him his phone and send Juyeon home to finally be alone.

“It’s no fun to eat take out by myself,” Sangyeon argued. “Let’s eat together.”

Juyeon couldn’t even argue, because the other was already leaving him by the door to head to the kitchen. Juyeon struggled out of his shoes, stumbling inside as he suddenly felt too nervous about it, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t pulled in by this apartment once again. How did it feel so warm and inviting?

“Can I help?” Juyeon asked, walking past his phone sitting on the cabin in the entryway and joining Sangyeon in the kitchen.

“Not much you can do with take out, is there?” Sangyeon chuckled warmly. “You can get some drinks out of the fridge if you feel like it though.”

It didn’t feel as weird as Juyeon had expected it to feel. It was like he already knew where everything was, what to grab. The fridge was completely restocked and Juyeon was just left impressed as he took some flavoured waters out of the fridge and placing two glasses out for them as well.

“How was work? What kind of emergency was it?” Juyeon asked.

And because there was not much left for him to do, he sat down at the table to simply watch Sangyeon unpack the take out. Juyeon had gotten a lot, so it would probably be enough for them both. It felt like his nervousness had been left outside though now that he was sitting here. Just asking Sangyeon about his day.

He hadn’t meant to stick around, but Sangyeon didn’t seem to mind him being here. He just joined Juyeon at the small kitchen table and gave him a smile.

“It was a rather happy emergency,” Sangyeon said, filling up Juyeon’s plate first as if he had always done it this way. And maybe he had, Juyeon couldn’t quite remember. “It was a pregnant cat. She was having trouble delivering the kittens by herself, so we had to help out.”

Right, Juyeon sometimes forgot that Sangyeon was a proper doctor now. Being a full on professional at an animal clinic. But the way he told Juyeon all about the delivery and how rewarding it had felt to finally be able to give the mother cat her kittens and how he couldn’t help himself but check in with them from time to time and staying at the clinic longer than he would have needed to. It sounded like Sangyeon really loved his job a lot.

“It’s really amazing how you have found your calling in life.” Juyeon smiled into his food, not quite able to look at the other while saying that. “I feel like I still don’t know anything about what I want to do. And I’m already so old.”

“You’re not old, Juyeon,” Sangyeon was quick to give back. “You’ve still got plenty of time to figure that out. Maybe that’s just what you are meant to be doing right now.”

It seemed plausible when Sangyeon said it, even though it didn’t really calm the guilt Juyeon felt about it anyway. He felt like he should be making his parents proud by also being a doctor, or something of high value. But instead he was just working his jobs not really sure what to do with the university degree he had worked a little too hard to get.

“Thank you for saying that,” Juyeon said and started eating instead of letting himself think about this any further. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

But luckily Juyeon managed to make Sangyeon talk more about work, and about how his life instead of talking about his own. And even after the food was long gone, they couldn’t stop talking. It was so comfortable just sitting together. And when Sangyeon had prepared them another pot of tea just like the evening before, it was quite clear that Juyeon might not be intruding.

“Ah, I should probably head out soon… I’m sure you want the rest of your evening to yourself now. I’ve been bothering you enough.” Juyeon said anyway, thinking about his phone he had only meant to pick up.

Sangyeon’s eyes almost looked sad when Juyeon said that though. “Oh, you want to leave already?”

Nothing about Juyeon leaving now would call for the word ‘already’. He’d been here far longer than expected and yet Sangyeon looked sad about letting him go? Juyeon let out a hum while thinking about how to answer. He had never been able to lie to Sangyeon, and that didn’t seem to have changed at all.

“It’s not that I want to,” Juyeon said, kind of embarrassed about admitting this anyway. “I really just don’t want to bother you or, like, keep you from anything.”

Juyeon had to think about how Eric had told him that none of their other friends had been invited by Sangyeon yet, none of them had even seen his flat. And by the way Sangyeon’s face lit up when Juyeon told him he didn’t want to leave it kind of felt like Sangyeon wanted him here.

“You’re not bothering me at all, Juyeonie,” Sangyeon said. “You’re more than pleasant company. I’m kind of glad the universe brought us together like this.”

Juyeon chuckled. Sangyeon and his belief in the universe. That didn’t seem to have changed either.

“I don’t know if my forgetfulness can be called the universe bringing us together, but I’ll take it.” Juyeon’s face lit up in a smile as well, even if his cheeks did feel a bit warm.

“Lets watch the movie we didn’t get to watch yesterday!” Sangyeon seemed so excited to suggest that, it mad Juyeon’s heart flutter a bit.

“Oh, alright, sure, hyung,” Juyeon said, not able to fight his bashfulness off at all. “Ah, you should go and take a shower. I’ll do the dishes!”

Surprisingly enough, Sangyeon agreed. And suddenly they were back in the living room, just like the evening before. Only that they actually found themselves on the sofa, watching the moving they had meant to watch the day before.

Juyeon felt awfully at home here, like they had done this hundreds of times already. And it was enough to make him warm, heavy and cozy. Juyeon liked being here so much, no wonder he hadn’t been able to fight Sangyeon’s idea off. Not even having anything to argue with when Sangyeon suggested starting another movie too.

Juyeon… frankly, didn’t want to go home. It was the weekend, his own flat was still void of his flatmate and if he had the opportunity to just spend a little more time with Sangyeon, he would. Juyeon smiled to himself when Sangyeon pulled out a knitted blanket, explaining that his sister had made this a while ago.

Juyeon hadn’t considered the possibility of this getting even more comfortable. But that blanket did a lot to him, and the snacks Sangyeon pulled out of the cupboard as well. He had bought the gummies Juyeon had shown him the day before.

“I kind of fell in love with them so I bought a few packs,” Sangyeon giggled.

It was softer than Juyeon remembered Sangyeon’s laugh to be, but maybe it was the comfortable atmosphere changing his perception. Although he could swear that Sangyeon’s cheeks were a bit flushed now too. Juyeon grabbed for a gummy with a laugh, leaning back in satisfaction. This was nice.

“Maybe I should just stay here. I can buy you gummies and take out and ask about your day at work. It seems like a good life.” he joked lightheartedly.

“I don’t think I’d complain about that,” Sangyeon laughed too, surprising Juyeon by wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “It does sound nice.”

Something about Sangyeon agreeing to Juyeon’s joke made him want to lean into his arm and just stay there forever. And maybe forever was not something he could shoot for right now, but he did just let himself sink into that feeling for a moment longer. And while Sangyeon wasn’t taking his arm away and just accepted Juyeon snuggling into his side and leaning his head against his shoulder, they just stayed like this.

Long enough apparently for Juyeon to lose track of time and space and wake up some time not knowing where he was for a moment. It was already dark and he wasn’t on Sangyeon’s sofa anymore. But… Sangyeon was. Juyeon was curled up on the daybed, not remembering how he had gotten there and Sangyeon was stretched out on the sofa, a book fallen into his face cartoonishly. He must have fallen asleep while reading.

And Juyeon? He must have fallen asleep sometime during the second movie. But that didn’t explain why he was tucked in on the daybed like this. When a yawn overtook him though, he decided to not think about it right now. It was late, it must be the middle of the night, he wouldn’t go home now anyway and he didn’t want to wake Sangyeon up either, so there was no use to fight this. Juyeon smiled when he gave into the comfort of this place and just let himself drift back into sleep.

When Juyeon opened his eyes, trying to figure out where he was for a second time this weekend, he spotted Sangyeon just where he had seen him last. Only that now his book wasn’t in his face, but in his hand, and a cup of coffee in the other.

“Good morning,” he said. “Finally awake?”

Juyeon didn’t even feel embarrassed about Sangyeon calling him out like that, he felt rather overtaken by warmth with how fond Sangyeon’s voice sounded. He did cuddle more into the blanket bashfully, but he did giggle happily alongside it.

“I should feel bad, shouldn’t I?” Juyeon mumbled into the fabric. “For falling asleep again...” he didn’t want to though.

Sangyeon didn’t seem to think so either, shaking his head at him with a smile. Fond. His eyes were so extremely fond. And he even closed his book and put it to the side now too, fully focusing on Juyeon. 

“I don’t see anything to feel bad about,” Sangyeon said, motioning to the windowsill next to Juyeon’s head. “I’m glad you feel this comfortable here.”

Turning to where Sangyeon pointed Juyeon found a cup of coffee. And going by Sangyeon having his own Juyeon was confident that this one was for him. He didn’t manage to hide his smile when he shuffled up to sit and grab for it tiredly. He tried his best to keep the blanket wrapped around him, although it wasn’t as easy as he would have liked.

“You could have thrown me out anyway.” Juyeon took a sip from the coffee, utterly glad that Sangyeon hadn’t.

“Sure, I could have,” Sangyeon nodded. “I didn’t want to though. It’s nice having you around.”

Juyeon looked over to the other, wondering whether he was imagining all of this. But it felt too specific for him to be dreaming it. And too far from anything Juyeon had ever even thought about for it to just happen in his mind out of nowhere.

“Hyung?” Juyeon spoke up hesitantly, after a long moment of letting Sangyeon’s words settle. “Your flat is all set up, isn’t it?”

Juyeon could tell from Sangyeon’s frown that this must be a weird question to him. And if he was being honest, Juyeon probably wouldn’t have spoken up about it either if he hadn’t been this sleepy still.

“Uh, yeah, I think so?” Sangyeon answered. “Why are you asking?”

That was when Juyeon realised even more how stupid it had been to ask this. Because what was he even asking? Why did he even care all that much about something he would have never known anyway. Juyeon lowered his gaze again, staring into his coffee that tasted way too good for him to be drinking it as quickly as he did.

“I was just wondering…,” he said, but it wasn’t the whole truth. “Eric just said something about, uh, how he asked you about a housewarming party and how none of the others have seen your new flat either and that you said you weren’t fully set up yet…”

Sangyeon cleared his throat and Juyeon feared that he was about to scold him for bringing that up and finally throw him out after all. But as Juyeon dared to sneak a peek over at the other he found Sangyeon’s cheeks flushed. And not the faint pink his cheeks had been before, but they were a deep red now and Sangyeon was shuffling around on the sofa awkwardly.

“Hyung? Are…? Uh… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry or anything, you don’t have to tell me.”

Sangyeon shook his head before he was able to say anything. Not really looking at Juyeon at all. It made Juyeon feel guilty anyway, like he had made a big mistake and had overstepped a boundary. And now Juyeon had ruined their comfortable vibe with one stupid question that didn’t even matter that much.

“No, it’s fine it’s just…,” Sangyeon interrupted himself. “Don’t take this the wrong way okay?” Sangyeon finally lifted his eyes at Juyeon again, who was eagerly shaking his head.

“I won’t, I promise, hyung!”

“Eric kept on asking and… there wasn’t really any good reason other than – “ Sangyeon paused, cleared his throat again, got a little more red and then continued. “I just had to tell him something, you know?”

Juyeon shook his head. “I… uh… I don’t think I do, Hyung. Why couldn’t you just invite him over?”

Juyeon knew he was naïve, even on his best days. But he really couldn’t see any reason why Sangyeon wouldn’t have been able to invite Eric, or any of the other guys over. At least there was nothing in his explanation that actually explained anything.

“I…,” Sangyeon stopped, then sat up a bit straighter only to sigh, clearly struggling with himself before he continued. “I didn’t know how to invite you over. I was taking weeks to try and come up with a reason other than some weird wish deep in my heart to have you be the first one to visit my new flat. And since I clearly didn’t manage to do that, Eric kept on pushing and asking and I had no good reason not to invite him, so I just told him that my furniture wasn’t here yet, that my heaters weren’t working. There it’s said.”

Juyeon was just sat there, left to blink back at Sangyeon while his mind was working so hard to untangle its thoughts and get the information right. They hadn’t seen each other in so long, and yet Sangyeon had wanted Juyeon to be the first one to see his new flat? Why… why did it feel like something so meaningful? And what would be the right way to take it if there was a wrong one?

“Why?” Was the only thing Juyeon was able to say.

Because it was better to ask than to let his mind come up with his own reasoning. And before he would think up of some unrealistic ideas only to be left disappointed once he found out the real reason, this would be the safer option.

“Because it feels right,” Sangyeon said, his smile somewhat sad now that he was looking down at his hands and avoiding Juyeon’s eyes. “And because I missed you a lot.”

“I missed you a lot too,” Juyeon said, a small pout pulling at his features. “Thank you. For thinking of me.”

It was barely scratching the surface of what Juyeon actually wanted to say, or of all the questions he still wanted to ask. But they didn’t continue talking about it. Instead Juyeon thanked Sangyeon for the coffee, asked him to teach him how he made it, almost broke two cups in the process of trying to learn it, only to sheepishly ask Sangyeon to just make him another cup instead.

They even cooked breakfast together and everything just felt so domestic that Juyeon felt cold coming home to his own flat later that day. It wasn’t even that he disliked his own flat, he loved living there but… it just wasn’t Sangyeon’s flat. Even if Sunwoo was finally back and greeting him with a welcoming grunt. 

Juyeon let himself fall onto his bed with a deep sigh. He didn’t want to go to work tomorrow. And he didn’t want this weekend to be over either. His phone barely had any battery left, but Juyeon used the last moments before plugging it in to send Sangyeon a short message.

Thank you for the weekend. I feel refreshed thanks to you. J

Juyeon didn’t even feel silly for ending his text the way Sangyeon had ended his handwritten note. He thought it was cute, actually. Just like the way he couldn’t rip himself away from the phone until he got an answer. But it was definitely worth the wait as well. Juyeon smiled as he read the text over and over again.

Sangyeon Hyung

Come back next weekend? :)

It was short but everything Juyeon needed for his heart to flutter in his chest.

Without forgetting anything?

Juyeon felt a bit too funny. But it was helpful with distracting him from his own thoughts and ideas about this. He didn’t want to be delusional about this, but he couldn’t help himself. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe things had just changed like that and maybe it was okay to be bold about it.

Sangyeon Hyung

You forgot me. Can’t leave me all alone like this.

Juyeon only felt guilty for a second until he understood the joke. Or… or was it not a joke but…?

Don’t worry, I’ll visit you again next weekend. I won’t let you spend your weekends alone anymore.

Juyeon felt his hands shaking. He would have never pictured himself trying to flirt with Sangyeon. And now it felt like he was actually succeeding? It was more than just a little confusing, but it wasn’t at all at the same time. Juyeon was feeling confident assuming that Sangyeon was flirting back.

Sangyeon Hyung

Can’t wait!

Juyeon looked down at his phone, shook his head sighing to himself and put it to the side. This was going to be a long week.

***

It shouldn’t have been this nerve wracking to stand in front of Sangyeon’s door when he had been here only a week ago. But he was here with different intentions. This time they had actively chosen to meet up, with the only purpose of spending time together because they had both enjoyed it last time.

Juyeon couldn’t pretend that his mind hadn’t replayed Sangyeon’s words over and over again. Seemingly finding a whole new set of things he could have meant by those words and always coming back to the one thing he wanted them to mean. But there had been no way of finding out the true meaning of them when Juyeon wouldn’t ask something like that over text.

Maybe that added to his nerves and made him hesitate before finally ringing the bell. But even though he had willed himself to do it, he still felt his heart do a few anxious flips before Sangyeon rang him in. But as soon as he was led inside it was like his nervousness got healed in an instant.

“It feels different, doesn’t it?” Sangyeon asked when Juyeon didn’t say anything.

He was rather standing near the door, politely waiting for Sangyeon to decide where to go and lead Juyeon along.

“Ah, yeah, I guess it kind of does,” Juyeon stumbled.

He didn’t think of himself as a shy person, and he never had any difficulty talking to people, but Sangyeon was somehow making him nervous. But he was also making him so content at the same time. It left Juyeon way too confused and way too overwhelmed to move or say something.

Juyeon felt bad for it, especially when he noticed Sangyeon fumbling. He usually wasn’t one to do so either and Juyeon felt like it was his fault completely.

“It’s not uncomfortable though!” Juyeon was quick to let out, similar to a hiccup and it felt not too far off as well.

“Good,” Sangyeon let out, and his voice sounded quite similar to Juyeon’s, only a little more insecure maybe. “I wouldn’t want that.”

Yet they both clearly weren’t able to break the weirdness of the moment. It felt like they were both waiting for something to happen, or for the other to make a decision. But no matter the lost state of Juyeon’s mind, he was still at ease with being here. He was fine with letting that moment stretch between them for however long they needed.

Juyeon gave Sangyeon a smile when the other took in a breath. It seemed enough to bring him to say something after all.

“I prepared tea,” he said. “The same as last weekend.”

How was this the sweetest gesture ever? How had Juyeon never noticed how gentle Sangyeon was. How comforting his voice was, how fond his eyes were and how heart fluttering is smile?

Juyeon supposed things could change. He had heard it said before, he had read about it in countless books too, but he had never expected it to happen to him as well. Not like this. And especially not with Sangyeon. But Juyeon had nothing to argue against his racing heart. It had already been obvious the whole week leading up to this moment that Juyeon’s feelings towards Sangyeon had changed with one weekend alone.

It wasn’t even scary, not even weird. It felt so utterly right that Juyeon wouldn’t want to fight this anyway. The only thing making him this nervous was his worries how to go about this. He had already detected some signs, and if he was correct then he might actually have a chance with Sangyeon. But Juyeon had never been this nervous before.

“Let’s take it to the daybed?” Juyeon suggested with a growing smile.

And apparently that was all it took for them to fall back into a rhythm. While Juyeon wasn’t allowed to carry the tea – for obvious reasons – he was allowed to get the wooden folding table out and place it onto the daybed by the window instead. Juyeon hadn’t dared to think about sleeping over again, but looking at the daybed now he could only be reminded of the warming feeling of falling asleep and waking up here.

“Thank you for inviting me, hyung,” Juyeon said and felt frustratingly shy about it.

Sangyeon wouldn’t let Juyeon serve the tea first, he handed Juyeon a cup with a smile instead. “Thank you for considering my offer.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Juyeon asked before he knew it himself.

“Ah, well,” Sangyeon fumbled with his own cup now. “Because of what I said last time.”

Juyeon shook his head so enthusiastically, it almost made his tea spill over. “Don’t worry about that, hyung. You didn’t say anything weird at all!”

“I didn’t?”

“No, of course not.” Juyeon wanted to say that he felt the same, but it wasn’t the truth because Sangyeon hadn’t said that he liked him. He had said nothing about that actually, he had only said he had wanted to invite him first and Juyeon had wanted it to mean that Sangyeon liked him as well.

“Well,” Sangyeon looked so nervous still. “I’m glad then.”

Juyeon nodded. He had no idea what else to say so he was sipping at his tea instead. And burned his tongue. And then wasn’t able to hide it well. He was a mess.

It took a moment too long until Juyeon was able to speak again. Sangyeon was petting his shoulder, which didn’t make Juyeon less embarrassed about it, but it still felt nice. Nice enough that it was not a good idea to focus on. Juyeon could sense that Sangyeon wanted to ask if he was alright, but there was nothing he wanted less than for Sangyeon to make this into an even bigger thing.

“Tell me about your week. How was work?” Juyeon asked before Sangyeon would actually ask.

Listening to Sangyeon was Juyeon’s favourite pastime. And listening to Sangyeon talk about work, especially about all the animals with the fondest smile on earth was what made Juyeon even more certain about his growing affection for the other. He had always admired Sangyeon, but this was different.

Juyeon kept asking questions only so Sangyeon would continue to tell him stories from work and for his face to light up with every one of them. And Juyeon’s heart was so ready to start fluttering whenever Sangyeon said something like ‘you would have loved that dog’ or ‘the cat looked just like you’.

“Hyung?” Why was Juyeon’s mouth quicker than his brain lately? “Can I stay over again?” No, but for real. What kind of magic was that?

“Oh.” Sangyeon’s eyes grew wide.

“You can say ‘no’ if it’s too much!” Juyeon was quick to react. Ah, he was being too greedy, he knew he was.

“No,” Sangyeon shook his head. “No, that’s not it. I just… ah, well, I kind of assumed you would.”

Juyeon could see the tips of Sangyeon’s ears light up an adorable red. It made Juyeon kind of smug and shy at the same time. And he couldn’t help but love that Sangyeon had assumed he would stay the night. Maybe Juyeon wasn’t delusional after all.

“You did?” He asked anyway.

“I already prepared a blanket for you and everything,” Sangyeon looked bashful, but his smile was still able to turn Juyeon’s brain into stupid mush.

He looked around on the daybed for the blanket, ready to pull it around himself already, but he couldn’t find it. He looked over to the sofa, but… nothing.

“Ah, well,” Juyeon looked up at Sangyeon letting out awkward sounds and tilted his head. “It’s… in my bedroom.” Sangyeon explained.

Juyeon blinked at Sangyeon while his brain was buffering. He… there was no other reason Juyeon’s brain could come up with that made that statement make sense other than the one he just wanted to be the truth.

“Hyung?” Juyeon said, not sure where his mouth would lead him.

Well, he knew where he wanted his mouth to lead, and it had nothing to do with words at all.

“Not because of anything weird! I promise!” Sangyeon was blushing so hard, it was so cute. 

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Juyeon forwent Sangyeon’s statement and asked. He had never seen Sangyeon’s eyes grow as wide as they did. And never this quickly either.

“Sure,” Sangyeon said, even though he didn’t look sure at all. “I can sleep on the daybed. I would have offered you the bed anyway.”

Juyeon shook his head. “No, I want to sleep next to you, hyung.” Where was Juyeon taking the courage from to demand something like that?

“You… you would want that?” Sangyeon asked. It sounded hopeful rather than the shock and disgust Juyeon would have expected any other time.

“I like being around you, hyung,” Juyeon said, growing even less embarrassed when Sangyeon didn’t seem opposed to the idea. “Your flat is so comforting I’m sure it’s even more comfy in your bed right next to you.”

The smile that spread over Sangyeon’s face was blinding. It truly felt like looking at the sun, but Juyeon didn’t want to look away. Ever.

“Do you want to borrow one of my pyjamas?” Sangyeon asked. There was something oddly young about him. Maybe it was the excited look on his face, maybe the giddiness that mad him want to move over to the bed as quickly as possible was also adding to it.

Juyeon nodded and then suddenly, in the blink of an eye, they were curled up in Sangyeon’s bed. And if Juyeon had already found the daybed to be an oasis, then his actual bed was heaven. Juyeon snuggled deeper into the pillow, pulling the blanket up some more, and from there he looked over at Sangyeon who was looking right back at him too.

“You look like you belong here,” Sangyeon chuckled deeply. And too handsomely for Juyeon’s heart to take easily.

“I feel like it too,” Juyeon answered.

He really did. All surrounded by Sangyeon’s warming energy and scent. Sangyeon’s eyes just as warming as he looked back, and his smile making Juyeon feel special just by being able to see it.

“Maybe you do,” he said, and it sounded so meaningful all of the sudden. Heavy, but in a good way. Like a rich hot chocolate in the depth of winter.

“Hyung?” Juyeon started once again. “Have you ever thought about… kissing me?”

This time Sangyeon didn’t look shocked, and Juyeon couldn’t see his ears turn red, but maybe that was just the lack of light. What Juyeon did see though was Sangyeon nodding with a smile on his lips. Bashful but not embarrassed about admitting it. 

“Have you?” Sangyeon asked, his voice low and soft. “Thought about kissing me?”

Juyeon nodded, while his racing heart already understood what his brain hadn’t caught up with yet. “I thought about it a lot last week.”

“Juyeon,” Sangyeon was already shuffling closer. “Can I kiss you now?”

And again Juyeon nodded. His brain was on standby. Or maybe it had already shut down completely. All he knew was that Sangyeon was leaning in. The warm wave of everything was overcoming Juyeon. He felt his eyes flutter shut and let it happen.

He didn’t need his brain to let his arms wrap around Sangyeon’s shoulders, or to deepen the kiss. He didn’t even need his brain to pull Sangyeon over himself when he rolled onto his back. And he didn’t need his brain to understand how much magic had gotten involved for him to get this lucky in life. To realise his feelings for Sangyeon just in time for him to like him back and to be able to let himself fall into Sangyeon’s arms completely.

“So, just to make it clear,” Sangyeon said with his head leaning against Juyeon’s, while his fingers drew shapes onto Juyeon’s bare shoulder. “I didn’t assume this would happen, I only guessed you would stay over.”

Juyeon could feel Sangyeon’s chuckle against his cheek, his vibrating chest making Juyeon move along with it. He could even hear Sangyeon’s heartbeat and noticed his own sync up to it.

“But you kind of hoped for it anyway, right?” Juyeon teased, wrapping his arm tighter around Sangyeon’s bare waist.

“Not for tonight.”

“But for someday?” Juyeon asked, looking up from where he was resting against Sangyeon’s chest, not successful in his attempt to look coy.

Sangyeon smiled, pressed a kiss to Juyeon’s forehead and finally let out a hum. “Yeah. I hoped this would happen some day. I allowed myself to dream.” He said, sounding just as dreamy about it.

“And?” Juyeon asked curiously. “How is reality?”

“Better than anything I could have dreamed up,” Sangyeon smiled.

“Good,” Juyeon answered and rested his cheek back against Sangyeon’s chest with a sigh. “I think it might happen again.”

“I’d like that,” Sangyeon chuckled tiredly.

Juyeon was sure the other was closing his eyes already, and Juyeon was as well. Yeah, this was heaven. Juyeon’s very personal heaven that wasn’t hard to reach apparently. Sangyeon’s arms were so much better than the daybed.

Waking up the next morning Juyeon didn’t even need a second to figure out where he was. The arm around him was reminder enough. Juyeon smiled to himself as he reached out to the hand laying in front of him just to hold it. He was surprised when Sangyeon’s hand wrapped around his as well and his arm tightened around Juyeon’s waist.

“Good morning,” Juyeon could feel Sangyeon’s deep, raspy morning voice vibrate against the back of his neck.

It made his heart race first thing in the morning and he noticed how he was leaning even more into Sangyeon’s touch. His presence was the very best thing to wake up to. It had already been great last week, when Sangyeon had been in the same room on the sofa, but this was an upgrade Juyeon had no words for.

“Morning,” Juyeon mumbled through his smitten grin.

Juyeon let out a sigh. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to stay just how he was now, or if he wanted to turn around and see Sangyeon instead. What he was certain about though was that he wanted to stay close. Sangyeon was so warm, and everything about him was so soft. Juyeon wouldn’t dare to pull away. Ah, right, he should just not move at all.

“Did you sleep well?” Sangyeon’s voice sent another shiver down Juyeon’s spine.

Juyeon hummed in response, his smile probably audible in his voice anyway. “You’re so comfy,” he added, because there was no way to hide this anyway.

“Should I bring you breakfast in bed?” Sangyeon asked. “Or just coffee?”

Juyeon shook his head, even though he did like the sound of that. “You should stay here. Keep me warm.”

Sangyeon chuckled and tightened his arm. “Can’t argue with that.”

They did end up staying like this for a while longer. Juyeon just basking in Sangyeon’s energy, eventually even turning in Sangyeon’s arms to look at him with a smile. And they exchanged a few bashful, and some not so bashful kisses as well until Sangyeon managed to sneak himself out of bed after all to prepare them coffee and some breakfast.

Juyeon groaned as he shuffled around to sit up against the backrest of the bed. Looking around Sangyeon’s tidy yet cosy bedroom while he stretched out his limb happily. As he waited for the other to return, smiling to himself when he heard the sounds coming from the kitchen, a book on Sangyeon’s nightstand caught his eye. He reached out before thinking about it being considered rude and flipped through it.

Sangyeon was clearly currently reading it, or maybe he had already fully read it. There were post it notes and pencil scribbles all throughout most of it, but Juyeon wasn’t disrespectful enough to fully read anything. And just then he could also hear Sangyeon coming back to him again. He lifted his head with a smile as Sangyeon set down a fully decked out tray right in front of him.

“Are you enjoying this?” Juyeon asked, lifting the book to show it to the other.

Sangyeon shuffled back into bed carefully first, letting out a few old people sounds, probably on purpose to be funny, before answering. “I’m not completely done, but I liked a lot of the poems so far.”

“I’ve been meaning to get this as well!” Juyeon was slightly too excited about this coincidence. “But I told myself I can only get a new book once I’m done with my current read.”

Juyeon placed the book in between them when Sangyeon held out the coffee to him, accepting it with a matching smile.

“You can borrow it when I’m done,” Sangyeon offered after his first sip of coffee. “I only have a few poems left anyway.”

“You should just read them to me, so I can take the book home later,” Juyeon teased with a grin and took a sip from his coffee smugly.

“Aren’t you staying the rest of the weekend?” Sangyeon asked, matching his grin.

Oh, why was it so easy for Sangyeon to fluster Juyeon like that? But at the same time it made him more confident. “Read them to me anyway?” Juyeon requested.

Apparently Sangyeon hadn’t expected Juyeon to actually mean it the first time, but his face was lighting up when Juyeon asked again. And he actually ended up reaching for the book, shuffling closer to Juyeon and start reading the missing poems. And then Juyeon requested him to read more, just start from the beginning. 

They spent the whole morning like this, Sangyeon reading poems while Juyeon periodically leaned his head against his shoulder or looked at him in sheer wonder. Juyeon could see the happiness in Sangyeon’s eyes, the flusteredness shown in a flush fading away over time and he could see this working out. He wanted it to.

The thought of it alone made him smile.