Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

January 23rd, 11:38 pm

slut: who took my fucking vape

slut: i will fucking search u all

slut: that shit was brand new too

pussy: not me i don’t vape

slut: yes i fucking know i’m not talking to u

half-chub: hey not to much on my boy just cus ur all pissy u can’t get ur vape

cunt: who would fucking take that shit anyway u like fucking root beer flavored shit

teen mom: NAH FUCKING ROOTBEER??

slut: it’s fucking good u assholes

slut: you guys are avoiding the subject who took my fucking vape

MGcoin: no one took ur fucking vape u druggie

slut: stfu acting like u haven’t done worse when u lost urs

cornball: yeah u literally broke ur bathroom mirror just cus u dropped ur vape into the toilet

MGcoin: ok that’s different

cornball: sure it is bru

cunt: mg d1 crash out

half-chub: man stfu

teen mom: god we need to change namgyus name to cornball

MGcoin: god that stopped being funny about 3 months ago

playgirl: jesus that just ruined my day

pussy: namgyu cmon…

cornball: bro swap my name w his

cunt: WTF DID I DO I JUST SAID D1 CRASHOUT

MGcoin: YES THATS NOT FUCKING FUNNY

cunt: i make one unfunny joke and talk come for me yet myunggi walks free every day

slut: guys stop changing the subject please i need my vape

slut: i’m genuinely crying i need my vape

cunt: i can come over and u can hit mine?

slut: please

cunt: ok im leaving now

MGcoin: namgyu d1 thanks dickrider

pussy: LMFAOO

play girl: somebody had to say it

teen mom: LUTERSLLY

half-chub: nah he wishes

MGcoin: 😭😭

cunt: y’all better be fucking kidding this is what i fucking mean

pussy: nahhh no way 😭😭

half-chub: thanos u ever found who took ur vape??

slut: no why

slut: did you

slut: i fucking knew it u greedy bitch

half-chub: I DIDNT OMFG.

half-chub: u literal fucking asshole ur such a fucking tweaker

pussy: nah thanos is off his rails…

half-chub: anyway i was gonna fucking say i remember where u left it

half-chub: but since u wanna be a bitch..

slut: please semi i’m sorry

slut: i’ll never say anything like that again

half-chub: hmm…

slut: please semi please please please

half-chub: cmon sauce me up a bit

slut: your the prettiseest funniest most amazing person i’ve ever met

slut: u r so smart and way better than me and ill never say anything bad to u again

teen mom: nfw.

MGcoin: now this is crazy

cunt: thanos i’m here i have a geekbar for u

slut: YES

slut: fuck u semi u fucking bitch i don’t mean any of that

play girl: LMFAO NO WAY

pussy: SWITCH UP IS CRAZY

half-chub: BRO TOOK ONE HIT OF A VAPE DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT

MGcoin: LMFAOOOO

cunt: yall nfw i came to thanos house and he was literally sobbing and like sniffling and how crazy is it to say i’ve never wanted to fuck ts outta him so bad 🙏

pussy: namgyu…

half-chub: baby those r INSIDE thoughts! hope this helps!

cunt: 😒😒

cunt: semi u can not talk about “inside” thought after ive had to listen to all ur fantasies of fucking jun hee

half-chub: NMAGYU

half-chub: DLETEE THAT MESSAGE U FUCKING DICKWAD

cunt: fineeee

*cunt deleted a message*

cunt: whore

half-chub: yea yea lil gay boy

cornball: namgyu getting bold talking abt his fantasies in main chat

pussy: oh yeah id idnt even realise

cunt: as soon as i gave thanos the vape he literally laid down and fell asleep puffing it

teen mom: FELL ASLEEP PUFFING IT??

cunt: YES.

play girl: THIS CANNOT BE REAL

cornball: I JUST READ THESE MESSAGES IM LAUGHINF SI FU KING HARD

pussy: IKR NFW

cunt: ya and thanos never goes back n reads these messages so im all good

half-chub: risky game king i like it

old me: it’s been like 3 mins since namgyu got to his house how’d he fall asleep

play girl: YOUNGMI!!!

old me: hi unnie!!!

MGcoin: youngmi u do not want to know how fast that man can pass out

teen mom: once he literally sat down on namgyus couch and started snoring immediately

pussy: once he fell asleep while eating cereal and dunked his head into the bowl

cunt: once he fell asleep while peeing and cracked his head open

cornball: THATS WHY HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A WEEK??

cunt: yes sadly

cornball: I THOUGHT IT WAS CUS HE HAD AN AUTISM ATTACK

pussy: daeho yk that’s not a thing right

pussy: it’s very important to me yk that’s not a real thing considering you have like 3 autistic friends

cornball: wait it’s not??

cunt: no?????????????????

half-chub: see now why would an autism attack be a real thing

cornball: like an asthma attack kinda but like autism?

old me: daeho u better be kidding

old me: i feel very ashamed rn for not educating u

play girl: blame namgyu he’s the autism expert

cunt: autism expert??

play girl: yes u got diagnosed the earliest

cunt: what the dfuck is even ahapening anhmkfd

MGcoin: um translation

cunt: sybau i misspelled 3 words lil boy

pussy: can we pls get back to the autism attack bc im genuinely still concerned that daeho thought that was a real thing

old me: also HOW would that end up w thanos being in the hospital w stitches in my head

cornball: well cus thanos got diagnosed right after

cornball: i figured it was cus he was in there for something autism related man idk

cunt: no he just got diagnosed cus he kept talking about his fav kpop bias and stimming so they did an assessment or smt

half-chub: jesus why is that so thanos

January 24th, 8:39 pm

half-chub: oh yeah thanos btw u put ur vape in ur nightstand

slut: U FUCKING CUNT COUKDVE TOLD ME THAT UESTERDAY

half-chub: see now wheres the fun in that🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Chapter Text

January 25, 9:13 am

teen mom: omfg i hate the world history teacher sm

pussy: why

teen mom: fym why have u met him

teen mom: hes the msot braindead incapable idiot ive ever met 

teen mom: HE LIT EMAILED MY PARENTS J BC I FAILED HIS TEST BUT NO WONDER I DID HE CANT FUCLING TEACH

pussy: oh wow!!

cornball: no u have a point

play girl: he literally cant teach then gets mad when we fail like who set that system up

teen mom: LITERALLY

pussy: i passed his class tho

teen mom: yes cus ur a nerd minsu

pussy: ok well

slut: ya i failed his class too

cunt: was that cus u failed the test or just didnt show up

slut: i didnt show up but only cus he was annoying i swear

play girl: have u ever even met him

slut: well no cus i never went to his class

half-chub: what.

slut: i got an annoying vibe from him so i never went

old me: that explains why u stayed back thanos

slut: 👎👎👎

half-chub: anyway junhee u still in his class??

teen mom: yes sadly

half-chub: come skip w me!!

half-chub: im abt to go get some food u can tag along

teen mom: YES OMG!!

pussy: semi i literally told our science teacher u were sick

half-chub: yeah sick of that class

pussy: istg all yall r staying back

half-chub: not if u give me the notes!! ❤️❤️

pussy: omfg.

half-chub: thank yew!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

teen mom: semi meet me in front of the school in 5 mins

half-chub: alrrrr

slut: bro think she got rizz

*slut deleted a chat*

half-chub: good boy

cornball: rap it up...

old me: guys i hope yk the rest of us r in class!!!

old me: ur spamming is infact making my phone light up this whole class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

half-chub: hmm thats unfortunate

teen mom: youngmi come skip w us!

old me: no unlike u guys im actually trying to graduate

teen mom: hey not nice👎👎

MGcoin: howd u even get out of class junhee

teen mom: i told him i got my period n had to leave

MGcoin: he knows pregnant wmoen cant get perioids right

teen mom: prob not he QUITE LITERALLY is an idiot

cunt: jesus were fucking fried if thats the ppl teaching us

MGcoin: actin like u werent fried anyway

cunt: im not??

MGcoin: u r in the back of class high as a kite and airppods in

MGcoin: do u even know what were learning rn

cunt: no but atleast i show up to school unlike thanos and semi

slut: why am i catching strays

cornball: where tf have u 2 been ajnyawy cus i know danm well u weret paying attnetion inc alss

pussy: why can none of u type

cornball: ugh im trign to hide my phone firom the tecaher its harder theni t smees

half-chub: just go on it? they dont care

old me: semi they do care theyre just too scared of u to say anything

half-chub: good

MGcoin: sorry our teacher took everyones phone cus he thought that would make us pay attention

cornball: im guessing it didnt

MGcoin: nope

MGcoin: this one girl started crying tho w/o her phone so he gave them back and left them room

cornball: oh my god that is so funny

play girl: ugh thats so real

pussy: who was it??

MGcoin: this girl anmed mi-na i think

teen mom: wait no fucking way

teen mom: the brunette??

MGcoin: yeah??

teen mom: shes my ex gf

slut: wait no way shes mine too

play girl: LMFAO NFW

MGcoin: oh my god what

old me: why does she have the world worst type

teen mom: youngmi.

old me: sorry

old me: in my defense i mostly meant thanos

play girl: "mostly"

cornball: anyone who has a crush on thanos auto matically has the worlds worst type...

cornball: aimed btw

slut: aimed to who im confused

cornball: noone

slut: ok

cunt: anyway!! back to junhee and thanos both getting w mina!!

half-chub: crazy work..

cunt: pls shut up!

half-chub: 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

teen mom: wait thanos how long ago did u date her

slut: uh 2 weeks ago? maybe 1

teen mom: nfw ur who she cheated on me w.

teen mom: holy fucking shit thats a hit to my ego.

MGcoin: NAH.

old me: LMAOOOO

cunt: NAHHHHH THATS CRAZYYY WORKK

cornball: BAHAHAHA

pussy: JUN HEE THERES NO COMING BACK FROM THAT

slut: whats so bad abt that

teen mom: THAT MEASNS SH CHOSE U OVER ME.

slut: ya not surprised.

pussy: NO WAY

half-chub: confidence is key ig💔

cornball: ok thanos over junhee insane

cunt: hes not that badd👎👎👎

teen mom: ofc u say that namgyu...

slut: why

slut: guys i feel like im missing something

cunt: no their just fucking idiots

old me: wrap it up gay boy

Chapter Text

january 26, 10:29 am

slut: we shuld all hang out today

cunt: yes

half-chub: no im busy

teen mom: im down tbf i have nothing to do

half-chub: nvm im not busy anymore so i can

MGcoin: crazy.

teen mom: ok sounds good semi!!

play girl: im genuinely surprised u 5 are up before 2 pm on a weekday

MGcoin: normally i wake up at 9 i just dont want to deal w u guys before 2 

teen mom: rude

MGcoin: wheres the lie tho🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

slut: my dad woke me up so 👎

play girl: ur dad wakes u up everyday u just fall back asleep

slut: ya but he was screaming at me and kicked me out so i couldnt

half-chub: omg what r u okay??

slut: yea im just walking around

cunt: thanos its the middle of january its like 10 degrees out

MGcoin: how long have u been out for

slut: idk since like 8-9ish

play girl: do u have a jacket??

slut: ya i have my hoodie

pussy: thats not a jacket thanos ur worrying me

half-chub: ur going to get hypothermia fuck

slut: 🤷‍♂️

cunt: thanos where r u

slut: im towards the park

cunt: im coming rn stay where u r ok?

slut: ok

half-chub: r u okay?

slut: im cold and tired but yes

pussy: no bruises or cuts??

slut: no i dont think

cornball: you dont think??

slut: dont worry abt me im fine

teen mom: thats a bit hard when ur wandering the streets in 10 degree weather in a fucking hoodie

slut: sorry i wouldve grabbed a coat

teen mom: im not mad thanos im worried

teen mom: we love u yk that right??

slut: aw u softies

play girl: thanos this isnt a joke

play girl: we do love u and u can come to us whenever

slut: i love u guys 2

old me: whyd u get kicked out

old me: you dont have to say if u dont want

slut: honestly no clue

MGcoin: no clue??

slut: ya normally i did some stupid shit or smt but this time i rlly dont know

old me: jesus thanos

MGcoin: yk how long you'll be out for?

slut: i think a while he was rlly angry

cornball: n u dont know why?

slut: nope

cunt: thanos i think i see u

slut: yea i see ur car

cunt: ok good

play girl: pls update us ok?

play girl: we care about u thanos genuinely

pussy: yeah

slut: aww love u guys

pussy: I love u too

teen mom: i love u too i hope ur ok

old me: i love u too!! pls tell me if dont have hypothermia or a concussion or anything pls!

cornball: i love u too man!

half-chub: i love u too stupid

MGcoin: i love u too!!!!!

Chapter Text

january 26, 3:07 pm

pussy: thanos update usss!!

play girl: yes pls ive been waiting all day

play girl: i figured u were asleep tho

teen mom: probably knowing him

slut: wow ok

slut: im not asleep assholes

old me: bro just woke up

slut: alr u got me

cornball: bro no way

slut: hey wheres all my love from this morning💔💔

cornball: u gotta get us all worried if u want some love i fear💔💔

slut: ok my house is getting robbed

teen mom: NOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

cunt: bitch u got kicked out u at my house💔

old me: LMAO

play girl: ok im going to take the excessive us of 💔 as a sign thanos is ok

play girl: am i right

slut: yeah im ok

cunt: he just has like a black eye, a rlly bad cold, and i think his arm is dislocated

old me: jesus in what universe is that "ok"????

old me: can i come over n see u guys??

slut: yes pls!!

teen mom: omg yesss i can come at like 4

pussy: omg me too

play girl: we were goign to hang out anyway so yesss

play girl: istg if u get me sick tho thanos

MGcoin: wouldnt even be the first time he got us all sick💔

cornball: remember when he ave our whole class lice in year 3

old me: OMG YEAH LMFAOO

cunt: I HAD TO BUZZ MY HAIR OFF LMFAO

half-chub: ur hair was tragic anyway💔

old me: fuck ass bob since he was LITTLE

pussy: bru found ONE hairstyle he liked and ran w it

cunt: all yall suck

slut: namgyu complainign abt buzzing his fucked ass lil bob but i had to buzz my mohawk

old me: ts was worse..

pussy: yeah that was gone for the greater good💔

cornball: lice gave us one good thing and it was the loss of thanoss mohawk

MGcoin: LMFAOO

half-chub: OMG HE DIED TS TOO REMEMBER

pussy: PULLING UP TO MATHS W A RAINBOW MOHAWK AT 8 AM😭

play girl: NFW..

MGcoin: HELP

slut: you all suck that shit rocked n yk it .

half-chub: oh bby mayb in ur dreams i fear!!

teen mom: it was tragic...😭

old me: sometimes i think abt how ugly thanos purple hair is and think it cant get any worse

old men: then remember the hawk

cornball: "THE HAWK" IM HOLLERING

pussy: JESUS😭

half-chub: OMFG I CANT DO TSS

slut: yall all fucking uninvited bitch

slut: making fun of a sick person

MGcoin: lil drama queen 💔

MGcoin: speaking of coming over thooo i can at 4

pussy: ok so we all can go?

old me: idk if i said yes or not but i can

cornball: hoe you the one who suggested it💔

cornball: oh i can go btw

play girl: yeah i can too idk if i said i can or nah

pussy: can anyone not go?

MGcoin: no i dont think

cunt: alr guys ill get snacks out

cunt: no vapes cus thanos is rlly sick n the smoke wont make it any better💔

half-chub: ok sounds good

play girl: understandable

MGcoin: alr

cunt: and also no child abuse jokes today its prob a rough subject 

play girl: ok yea

pussy: yea i figured 💔

teen mom: ok everything sounds all good

cornball: alr i can stop at the store omw too if yall want n get some snacks

play girl: YES.

cornball: ill get some soup n meds for thanos too

old me: im genuienly surprised thanos is letting namgyu be vulnerable abt him in the chat

half-chub: and the fact namgyu is being so openly whipped and protective over his man💔

*half-chub deleted a chat*

teen mom: character developement'

cunt: close !! i took his phone

cunt: what'd semi delete btw

half-chub: nuthin

cunt: bru

cornball: alr im omw to the store rn

teen mom: ill leave in like 10

cunt: alr sounds good

Chapter Text

january 28th, 10:03 am

pussy: guys is everyone at school

pussy: istfg if u guys skipped...

teen mom: im here

MGcoin: ya me too im in bio

cunt: im here

slut: me2 im done skipping 😇

half-chub: yk damn well ur j gonna skip tmrw

slut: well then enjoy it while it lasts

play girl: boy where r u even skipping now thatur out of ur house

slut: normally i went to mcdonalds anyway so id just go there man

cornball: broo u shouldve invited me i always crave an oreo mcflurry during world history

slut: I HAVE

slut: U SAY NO AND SAY U WONT JOIN ME IN MY "REBELLIOUS" ACTIVITIES

cornball: IT WAS JUST THAT ONE TIME

cornball: N THATS CUS U ASKED E TO SKIP W U N DO PILLS

slut: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

slut: we still wouldve been at mcdonalds

old me: bro is doing pills at mcdonalds💔

slut: damn well i am

slut: anyway daeho i didnt need ur bitch as namgyu skipped w me and we had more fun then we every wouldve

cornball: bro both yall got 0.6 GPAs

slut: yea isnt that good?

half-chub: jesus.

play girl: NO????

cunt: yeah i thought the highest was 0.10

pussy: 1- 0.1 is LESS THAN 0.6, 2- the highest is 4.0...

pussy: and thats unweighted

cunt: unweighted??

cunt: like gym class?

MGcoin: oh

MGcoin: my

MGcoin: fucking

MGcoin: GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

teen mom: how r u guys even allowed onto school property anymore

slut: i rlly dont even think i am atp

cornball: this is GENUINELY insane.

slut: we went to class today so yuall cant even hate

teen mom: yeah 1/128 days...

slut: i went the first day too

slut: i j left early

play girl: how early is "early"

slut: 10 mins into 1st period

slut: but i had world history

MGcoin: ok SLIGHTLY understandable

teen mom: wait thanos we have that class tg??

slut: if u have it first class A days ya

teen mom: bro Mina cheats on me w thanos then i find out IM IN THE SAME CLASSES AS SOEMONE WHOS ATTENDED 1 1/6 DAYS OF SCHOOL.

cunt: junhee getting humbled

teen mom: shut the fuck up namgyu

play girl: boy ur whole life is humbling

pussy: god we rlly need to switch namgyu and daehos name

cornball: THANK U MINSU! <3

old me: daeho ur still corny but namgyu

old me: namgyu is................ something

half-chub: i cant anymore w him

cunt: literally fuck u all. 💔💔

MGcoin: LMFAOOOOO

Chapter Text

january 29, 4:11 pm

cornball: guyssss

half-chub: what

cornball: wow attitude😑😑

half-chub: i just said what?!?!?!

cornball: yeah in a rude way??

half-chub: BOY WHAT?!?!?!?!

cornball: ANYWAY LET ME SPEAK

pussy: bru

cornball: guys im waiting for my food to be called so can we play a game or smt

cornball: im so bored and hungry 

cunt: n u guys say im cornier.

MGcoin: u r tho

half-chub: dw u still are !!🤗🤗

teen mom: namgyu was that supposed to prove smt....

pussy: nope still cornier!

old me: yeah um abt that...

play girl: whos gon tell him...

pussy: daeho that was a rlly fucking stupid suggestion tho.

old me: oh 100%

play girl: yeah how old r we??

half-chub: i just hate when namgyu says it

MGcoin: IKRR

MGcoin: like hes just SO corny

cunt: replace the c with a h and then youll be correct

play girl: oh thats not....

pussy: oh. 

teen mom: oh...

old me: oh wow um ok

cunt: ok all of u u suck

cunt: expect thanos cus he aint be tag teaming me like yall

teen mom: oh ya where is he??

slut: im here i just didnt feel like responding

MGcoin: yeah he cant insult his boyfriend💔💔

*MGcoin deleted a chat*

slut: Myunggi i fucking hate u 🤗🤗

MGcoin: oh consider it reciprocated🤗🤗

cornball: guys can we PLEASE just play like 21 questions or truth or SOMETHING

cornball: tiktok isnt loading and im going insane

cunt: no.

half-chub: actually just to spite him sure

cunt: WTF?!?!

half-chub: 🤷‍♀️

slut: im down for 21 kwestins

old me: im going to just ignore that spelling

old me: for my sanity

pussy: yeah ive just started doing that a longgg time ago

teen mom: ok so 21 questions?

MGcoin: sure

old me: yeah ig i have nothing better to do

slut: 🌈yes!🤩🦄🤩🌈

half-chub: yup

cunt: if i say smt will u immediatley try to go against it?

half-chub: yea basically

cunt: ok then yes im down for 21 questions

half-chub: ur reverse phsycology aint working on me lil boy

cunt: whats psyhoclogy

old me: ok im FORCING myself to ignore this

cornball: ok ill ask the first question then!!

cornball: whats ur favorite food?

teen mom: what r these boring ass questions

cornball: i just want to start easy

MGcoin: alright fine prob like lays chips

cunt: i like nacho fries🤩🦄✨

slut: i like bbq chips

play girl: mm i fuck w a ceaser salad or like a waffle cone

teen mom: normally it would be sushi but since im pregnant thats off the table

teen mom: right now my fav craving is hot cheetos n pickles tho

cunt: like together??

teen mom: yes

cunt: ew bro my lil nephew coming out w FUCKED taste buds

old me: anywayy i prob like sweets like chocolate or gummies

pussy: ^^ def gummies or something rlly sweet liek icecream

cornball: ok to answer my own question i rlly like steak and red meat

cornball: ok next question is how did u lose ur virginity

slut: EASY! 6th grade, school bathrum, w/ that gurl who moved cus her nudes got leaked to evry1🤪🦄

slut: absoultely fire🔥

MGcoin: wait thanos u lost urs to eunlee??

slut: yup! eazy and hot! the perfeect combo😁😁

pussy: whats up w/ all the emojis

slut: i have discovered a new love fot emoohis🏔️

pussy: this is getting harder to ignore..

old me: oh i feel u minsu...

slut: ignore what?🤩🦄

old me: nothing

slut: ok😁

cornball: anywayy uh freshman year

MGcoin: ok mr mysterious...

MGcoin: i lost mine w Junhee and i guess my swimmers were pretty strong bc now shes knocked up

teen mom: stfu myunggi

teen mom: sadly i lost mine w him too b4 i realised i wasnt rlly into men n now im about to have his baby

half-chub: if he isnt a birth control advertisement idk what is

half-chub: anyway 7th to a random guy b4 i realise i was #lesbian!

cunt: i lost mine when i was like rlly little idk

pussy: how little??

cunt: like 8? 

old me: WHAT

cunt: ya?

slut: that is yung!🐶🩰🤩🌈

half-chub: howd u even lose it that young

cunt: some girl in my neighborhood idk

cunt: ok moving on to minsu and youngmi

pussy: im proudly a virgin bc that shit grosses me out

old me: i lost mine in 8th to my bf at the time but we were at a catholic school so then he got kicked out bc his parents found out

cornball: ok next question- if u were on a desert island and can only bring 3 things/ ppl who/what would it be?

MGcoin: what the fuck r these questions bro

cornball: im j spitballing here dont hate

half-chub: i would a private jet, a flyer for my jet, and probably junhee for company

slut: thats cheatingggg😪😪

slut: i would take lube, a box of magnum condoms, and namgyu😈😈🏳️‍🌈

cunt: HELLO????

MGcoin: LMFAOOOOO

cornball: OMFG NO WAY

old me: BAHAHAHA

pussy: THIS IS FRYING MEEEEEE

half-chub: NFW.

teen mom: BRO IS NOT MAKING IT OUT ALIVE

half-chub: LITERALLY

cornball: ok my food just got called bye guys

cornball: jesus what a fucking way to end this.

Chapter Text

january 30, 11:04 am

teen mom: every day i plot on daehos demise

cornball: WHAT DID I DO??

teen mom: dont play dumb

play girl: ok u got me im invested

old me: yes spill pls !

teen mom: me n daeho were at the park tg n i literally fucking said that i was starving so i grabbed a granola bar from my bag

teen mom: AND HE GRABBED IT FROM MY HAND AND ATE IT IN ONE BITE

teen mom: and i ran back to my house crying

pussy: now see thats just...

half-chub: big and greedy🤦

half-chub: BIG and GREEDY 🤦🤦🤦

cornball: ok i was hungry too

teen mom: whos currently growing a human inside of me?

cornball: STOP USING THE PREGNANT EXCUSE 

slut: misoginy at its finest

old me: do u even know what that means

slut: yes im a #feminist!🏳️‍🌈🦄✨

MGcoin: thanos PLEASE do not bring those emojis back

teen mom: i agree though daeho is a misogynist

cornball: U CAN USE THE PREGNANT EXCUSE WHEN IT APPLIES TO THE SITUATIONNNNN

teen mom: I DO?!?!

cornball: you literally said when i took u shopping and pay for everything bc u were pregnant and had to save ur money on the baby..

teen mom: ok its true?? do u think the baby will be able to survive off shirts and pants?😒

cornball: SO DONT BUY THEM?!?!?!?!?

teen mom: now see this is about to pmo

cunt: nh u rght bc tht frl j pmo like boi sybau

old me: brainrot final boss

cornball: fine junhee to repay u for ur granola bar ill go get u smt from mcdonalds ok?

teen mom: if u must.... 😏😏😏

half-chub: oo dae get me an oreo mcflurry pls !

slut: mm i want fries

cunt: fuck i want a sprite so bad get me one

old me: oo then get me some chicken nuggets

play girl: if everyones getting smt get me a vanilla cone pls

MGcoin: wait daehos getting us mcdonalds??

cornball: no?!?!?

slut: yeah what u want from there

MGcoin: oh shit get me a coke n a fry pls

pussy: thank u daeho love u!!❤️

play girl: love u thank youuuuuu!!! <33

old me: yes ty daeho

teen mom: ur owe me but thank you still love u ;))

MGcoin: thanks daeho ly!!

slut: thx man love u 😍

cunt: thnks dh

half-chub: thanks king love u soooo mcuh❤️

cornball: ok fine 

cornball: am i dropping it off or picking u guys up

teen mom: pick me up

pussy: im studying w youngmi so just drop it off please and thank you

half-chub: u can pikc me up too

MGcoin: pls j drop it off im mid game

MGcoin: and thank you again

slut: u can drop me n namgyus off at his house

teen mom: oh wait thanos ur not back at ur house yet?

slut: no i only went back to grab sum of my stuff while they were at work

slut: im j gon stay at nams for a bit till i can figure stuff out

cunt: yeah plus my paents love him

half-chub: that is... so surprising

pussy: i thought it was impossible for adults to like thanos

MGcoin: especially out of our parents

cornball: yeah i think any parent fears thanos being a bad influence on their kids

cunt: my mom loves him cus he watches drag races w her and does his dishes and helps clean

half-chub: THANOS HELPS CLEAN??

cunt: yeah surprisingly hes rlly good at cleaning

slut: bro i just did ur laundry and swept ur floors its not that crazee

cunt: u also made my bed, picked up all my trahs, brought that trash out, mopped my whole house and vacumed, and cleaned my whole kitchen

slut: yeah thats like standard cleaning

slut: i guess im just used to it bc if i got one bit of dirt my parents would knock me unconsious 

half-chub: omg what

old me: well jesus now i feel bad

cornball: oh thanos thats not

slut: jesus im kidding

slut: they would just beat me

old me: oh !

Chapter Text

january 31, 11:56 am

slut: someone play roblox w me

pussy: im down lowk

pussy: what game

slut: adopt me

pussy: i already played adopt me w u yesterday u said next time it would be something different

slut: well yesterday i got that nfr frost dragon and i want to trade it for a mfr giraffe

half-chub: wait ill join up

slut: no u make me look poor

half-chub: bro im richer then u..

slut: ur best pet is a minion chick

cunt: i genuienly didnt even know those were still pets

slut: namgyu u never even play adopt me

cunt: yeah cus flee the facility is better

MGcoin: bro when we play flee the facility u camp so hard when ur the beast

cunt: seems like ur j not as gud as me 🤷

cornball: we should play extreme hide and seek!!

teen mom: no fucking way im ever playing that game

cornball: pls its so fun

play girl: oo i like dress to impress we can play that

slut: no thats for gurls

pussy: thanos u literally were playing earlier today?

slut: wait i thot i turnt my joins off?

old me: BRO GOT CAUGHT

teen mom: im down to play mm2?

teen mom: thats the only game i rlly know how to play

cornball: i have a priv server join up

play girl: ok but tell me how to play in chat

play girl: ive only ever played dti and fashion famous

january 31, 12:25 pm

play girl: hpoly shit namgyu u suck

cunt: i only sucked so bad bc every time i was murderer thanos would tell the whole chat

slut: i couldnt help it

slut: u would start evily laughing in the corner of ur bed n thot i couldnt tell u were murderer

cunt: ok well...

old me: hyunju i thought u said u never played mm2?

play girl: i havent

old me: THEN HOW WERE U SO GOOD

play girl: must j come natural to me🤦‍♀️

Chapter Text

february 1, 12:00 am

half-chub: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

teen mom: ITS DEBRUARY EVERYONE!!!

MGcoin: WHOOP WHOOP

play girl: YIPPEE!!

pussy: alr whos coming over my house to do some shots w me??🫣🫣

pussy: in celebration of the new month ofc

cornball: me!!!

slut: meeee

play girl: me obviously😜

cunt: hells yea

old me: ill bring some soda!!

slut: bring montan dew cus its green

half-chub: thanos udgaf that its green u just want mountain dew and know damn well noone else likes it

slut: sue me

slut: a man cant enjoy hsi fav soda anymore now can he..

MGcoin: not when its mountain dew

pussy: youngmi plsss drink tonight!!

teen mom: the day youngmi drinks alc is the day thanos and namgyu admit they like eachother

cunt: we dont like eachother

play girl: lying doesnt look good on u namgyu

cornball: guys i have some chips i bought yesterday should i bring them too

old me: YES!!

MGcoin: yesyesyes

half-chub: YERP!

slut: what flavour and yes

cornball: i have cool ranch doritos and sour cream and onion

slut: COOL RANCH??

slut: I LUV COOL RANCH DORITOS

cornball: oh we know

play girl: oh bby weve seen u pound back atleast abt 4 bags of cool ranch doritos in one sitting. we dont need anymore confirmation......

half-chub: thanos has the absolute worst tastebuds out of literally anyone on this planet

cunt: yeah and he genuinely enjoys the taste of vodka no chaser

teen mom: ew what the fuck is wrong w him

cornball: IKR ITS NOT NORMAL

slut: :((

slut: febuary resolution: stop getting hated on

pussy: february resolution: hate on thanos more

slut: NOOO!!!🤯🤯

half-chub: my february resolution is to clean my bong

pussy: have u never cleaned it??

half-chub: no

play girl: ew bro

MGcoin: how much do u use it?

half-chub: like daily?

cornball: ND U HAVENT CLEANED IT??

half-chub: no that shits for pussies

play girl: semi u told me it was clean when i hit it yesterday 😔

half-chub: it is

old me: whens the last time u cleaned it

half-chub: bro idk like 5 months ago

old me: SEMI NO WONDER I GOT SICK AFTER HITTING IT

slut: eww ive been ripping a dirty ass bong?

half-chub: thanos u acting like u dont shower bi-annualy

slut: bitch i dont shower w boys n girls??

slut: only w boys

old me: oh! we didnt need to know that

MGcoin: thats really not..

cornball: how did biannually exactly come out to showering w boys and girls?

slut: no only boys

slut: namgyu can confirm

cunt: ive never wanted to not be brought up so bad

half-chub: WHAT??

teen mom: hmMMMMM???

pussy: excuse me

play girl: oh i didnt need to know THAT!!

teen mom: oh i am deeply uncomfortable

youngmi: ykw ill take u guys up on that offer

play girl: WHOOP WHOOP!!

teen mom: guess thanos and namgyu r going to have to admit they like eachother now

cunt: we dont!

play girl: i think thanos confirmed it enough for atleast the rest of this year today...

Chapter Text

february 2, 11:46 am

teen mom: ok smash or pass aubrey plaza

half-chub: oh smash soooo fucking hard

old me: smash SO fast

MGcoin: who is that again

half-chub: shes cat in criminal minds

half-chub: the one u kept saying u would let peg u

slut: 🤯🤯🤯

MGcoin: SEMI

MGcoin: I SAID THAT TO U IN CONFIDENCE

half-chub: yea thats ur first mistake

pussy: myunggi omfg u need a leash and some duct tape for ur mouth..

MGcoin: jesus

MGcoin: smash tho obviously

pussy: pass

slut: smassh 100%💯

cunt: pass but i wuld smoke wit her

cornball: smash but i am a bit scared of her

play girl: i say smash 100%

teen mom: yup smash too

teen mom: so overall smash bc the only 2 ppl who passed were asexual and VERY gay

cunt: yeah sure

cunt: ok smash or pass matthew gray gubler then

slut: smash🤤🤤🤤

slut: he is my biggest celeb crush

teen mom: o smash EASY

pussy: honestly smash

cunt: i thought u didnt work like that

pussy: i can still admit when a guy is hot 🤧

teen mom: so u dont think aubrey plaza is hot????

pussy: next question. 

old me: yea smash mgg tho no debate

play girl: mhm smash ez

MGcoin: smash nooo doubt

half-chub: smash so hard jesus

cornball: SMASH

cunt: ok good

slut: smash or pass chris evans

cunt: pass hes to basic

play girl: mm smash

half-chub: ew pass hes so...

half-chub: man

teen mom: u describe it perf

teen mom: pass, except for him in infinity war

half-chub: eq even then im all good

cunt: wait no smash infinity war cap pass any other time

pussy: i say smash whenever

cornball: oh smash for sureee

MGcoin: smash 

old me: pass

teen mom: even in infinity war?

old me: yeah hes j not my type

play girl: u n semi r mental

cunt: thanos what u think

slut: hes hot but pass hes too vanilla

play girl: wait ok smash or pass jayce from arcane

play girl: cus OO would i ride him like a pony🐴🐴

MGcoin: no that is soo fucking real

cornball: oo smaysh so harddd

slut: pass i think viktor is hotter

half-chub: oo yk what jayce is kinda hot but mel is LAWD!🤤

pussy: oo smash jayce ez

teen mom: i say pass i think vi or cait is hotter

cunt: no no jayce is easily hottest

old me: jayce j attracts sugar babies

old me: hence minsu, myunggi, namgyu, and hyunju being the only ones to smash

cunt: bitch i aint no sugar baby

cunt: i cant rlly argue w the rest tho

play girl: ykw.. i cant either😥

slut: smash or pass frank gallagher

half-chub: hmm..

pussy: honestly smash

teen mom: no ya wait hes a hear me out

MGcoin: oh hes hot

cornball: hes horrible but smash tbf

play girl: no fr tho

play girl: smash

slut: wait ya smash

slut: all da gallaghers too fa that sake

slut: except debbie n liam cus debbie annoying and liam is like 8

play girl: oo dont play abt ian n lip then

half-chub: girl fiona is flaming hottt

cunt: ian n mickey r hot id do a 3sum

MGcoin: mm ya real

half-chub: ykw whos a smash?

cunt: who

half-chub: kev, v, and svetlana

cunt: oh shit i forgot abt them

cunt: smash kev and svet

cunt: actually fuck it v too

slut: smash kev

pussy: smash all boy lets go

MGcoin: oh god yes

play girl: mm smash

cornball: fuck ya smash all 3

cornball: same time

teen mom: no literally i dont think anyone can pass all 3 of them

teen mom: honestly even tho thanos hates her smash debs too 

slut: ugh i do hate her

teen mom: she hot tho

slut: i hate lip too but hes hot

slut: jeremie allen wite calvin klein add🤤🤤🤤

pussy: oh thats real

old me: wtf is wrong w u guys

play girl: out of shamless who do u think is the hottest youngmi

old me: like out of the gallaghers or everyone

play girl: ehh everyone

old me: karens dad

cunt: WHAT

half-chub: HOW R U SAYING WTF IS WRONG WITH US

cornball: wtf is wrong with YOUU

slut: that is nastee boy wth

pussy: HOW DO U EVEN REMEMBER HIM FROM LIKE S1

teen mom: and she was hating on us

old me: 🤷‍♀️

Chapter Text

*new group created with teen mom, half-chub, pussy, MGcoin, cornball, play girl*

february 3, 1:31 am

teen mom: guys i am about to go fucking insane

pussy: oh god do i want to know

old me: does it have smt to do with the two people not currently in this gc and the obvious feelings they have for eachother that they refused to admit to for literally no reason bc they think that no one else can see it despite the fact they literally shower tg live tg and do everything tg!!😊😊😊😊

teen mom: i fear it does youngmi bc they are so oblivious ( or just in denial) it physically hurts me!!!😊😊

MGcoin: ok im glad we are all on the same page bc every single time they interact it makes me feel lik im watching a sad romance movie where theyre inlove with eachother but cant admit it until one of them ends of tragically dying and the other person lives in regret bc thy never told them!!😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

pussy: gusy sto wit the smiling emoji it scares me...

pussy: but no i agree we need to do smt abt this blatant tomfoolery

half-chub: cant we just like lock them ina room n tell them they need to admit their feelings to get out

MGcoin: i fear that only works in fanfics

half-chub: darn

teen mom: how we gonna do this then

old me: well do u guys think that they know they like eachother or not

pussy: if thanos knew he likes namgyu we would know

pussy: he cannot keep his mouth shut after he gets high

play girl: tbf he has brought up having rough gay sex w namgyu a concerning amount of times this week

cornball: how do u guys even know they like eachother

cornball: thanos is like that w a lot of ppl

pussy: daeho...

teen mom: daeho have u met them??

half-chub: no not even met them, have u SEEN THEM???

play girl: multiple grls have unironically asked me if they were gay bc if not they wanted to get w thanos

teen mom: ew i forget girls actually like thanos

half-chub: ew ikr

play girl: no literally

cornball: ok u guys r right they r definitely like inlove

old me: well they already live together, r with eachother 25/8, and apparently shower tg so if they havent realised they like eachother by now what r we supposed to do

cornball: ew talking abt this like reminds me of when we all had to try to try to set junhee and myunggi up on a date

MGcoin: yeah and look how that turned out

teen mom: wait u guys set us up??

play girl: yes n it was very hard bc u kept rejecting him

teen mom: so ur who to blame for all this...

teen mom: im going to remember this fyi

pussy: oh god if namgyu n thanos end up like them idk how im going to handle going thru all that again

half-chub: oh my god yeah

teen mom: thankfully i dont think either thanos or namgyu is as unsufferable as myunggi so theyll prob last longer

half-chub: oh yeah ur right

play girl: true

pussy: ok yeah they have better odds

cornball: alr yeah ur right

old me: wait yea that makes sense

MGcoin: u guys all suck tyvm!👐

old me: wait guys why dont we just get thanos high n like tell him to ask namgyu out

pussy: i mean itll work probably but i dont want to rush it

play girl: i mean what if theyre not ready to admit it

pussy: admit that theyre gay??

teen mom: oh bby thats been been done

half-chub: admit they like eachother

old me: ya ur right

MGcoin: ugh i cant stand seeing them being so oblivious though

old me: ok new plan- get thanos high and get him to tell us how he feels abt namgyu

old me: that way we can go from there

play girl: oh u rlly want to get high w him dont u 🤨

old me: when hes high he always gives me a shit ton of money

pussy: wait rlly how much

old me: once he gave me like $400 dollars cus i asked him to pay for half the price of a pizza

cornball: shit im stealing that idea

old me: NO ITS MY THING

old me: HES NOT GOIGN TO BELIEVE HE ORDERED 6 PIZZAS W EACH OF US AND HAS TO SPLIT THE PRICE

pussy: i think u overestimate him youngmi

old me: wait ya ur probably right

old me: shit ill tell him that he owes me for the car i bought him n see how much he gives me then

MGcoin: where the fuck did he even get 400 from

half-chub: i dont think i want to know

Chapter Text

february 3, 2:11 pm

slut: whos tryin to partayyy

slut: daddy fgot his paycheck n is ready to waste it on alchol n weed!

pussy: paycheck from what exactly??

half-chub: yo ass does NOTTT have a job‼️‼️

slut: hey hyes i do

MGcoin: he does onlyfans istg

slut: NO I DNOT

half-chub: wait ya i saw yo shit on my twt tl

old me: yup ur shit got leaked

slut: waiyt rllu

slut: im to high fa this

pussy: obviously were fucking kidding 

cornball: unless u got stuff out there y u worried🤨

slut: ive sent some stuff back in my day

teen mom: what the fukc man

slut: can never be too caushus incase one of my old bitches think my magic johnson needs to be seen by the world

cornball: im genuinely deleting that message off my phone s i never have to see that again

old me: most frightening part of that message was the spelling of cautious

slut: 😁 😁 so party or no

play girl: fuck it im down

old me: its a monday night

slut: thats mever stopped u b4 now has it

old me: ya u right

pussy: ya sure i can

cornball: oo ill go too

MGcoin: sounds good

teen mom: im not gon drink or nothing but ill hang out

MGcoin: i dont think that needs to be said unless u want our baby to come out w one eye

pussy: oh is that what happens..🤔

MGcoin: either one eye or it comes out like thanos and namgyu

cunt: why am i ctachign starys i just woek up

slut: party?

cunt: ur literally infront of me just ask my in rela life

slut: ok he said yes so we cna all party?

pssy: id otn want to go to a bar lets go to myunggis house

MGcoin: why mine

half-chub: ur parents arent in state n u always have good alc

MGcoin: alr fine but dont make a mess like last tiem

slut: we would neverrrr

february 4, 3:01 pm

MGcoin: guys why the fuck is my toaster on my front lawn

MGcoin: and why is it completely burnt

slut: blame semi

cunt: blame semi

half-chub: blame thanos and namgyu

teen mom: jesus they were all high as kites and tried to cook bacon in it

teen mom: and it caught on fire

MGcoin: is that why theres a bunch of char all over my kitchen

MGcoin: fuck and my cabinet has a burn thru it

slut: it was really funny tho

cunt: junhee send the vid

*teen mom sent a video*

MGcoin: ok that is rlly funny

slut: seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

MGcoin: u assholes owe me tho i said no mess


half-chub: myunggi dont even act like u didnt build an obstacle course in the middle of ur libing room n then break like 3 of ur moms glass vases

MGcoin: fuck thats why i have ahuge cut on my side

old me: oh shit THAT was funny

cunt: wait junhee send that vid

*teen mom sent a video*

cornball: LMFAO ITS EVEN FUNNIER ON VIDEO

old me: HOLY SHIT POST THAT ON TIKTOK ISTG

half-chub: THE WAY EH WENT DOWN

cunt: STOP THE WAY HE JUST LAID THERE

pussy: OMG IM SAVING THAT 

slut: HIS FACE LMFAO

MGcoin: WHYD NONE OF U HELP ME UP

Chapter Text

february 4, 3:07 pm

teen mom: u guys tryna hang out or what

cunt: sure im bored

slut: i have work

half-chub: wait u geninely ahve a job?

teen mom: ya i told u guys this

MGcoin: i thought u were kidding??

teen mom: no??

play girl: wait thanos whats ur job

slut: im a bartender at that bar near namgyus house

slut: just part time for now so i can start saving for my own apartment

old me: why r u actually being responsible

slut: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

pussy: thanos if we come to ur bar do we get free drinks

slut: hell nah broke ass boy

pussy: ya worth a shot

cornball: we should still go and get to see him at his big boy job

slut: ew

play girl: do they let u go by thanos

slut: no i have to go by subong and i hateee itttttt

cunt: they shuld j let u go by thanos

slut: fr but smt abt like policy

pussy: once i had a job at this tourist spot n they made me go by mike so it was easier to pronounce

old me: no fuckign way thats so funnt

teen mom: and u kept working there???

pussy: ya it paid good asf and i got to slack off bc the tourists just thought i couldnt speak english

pussy: only downside was the fact they kept making me do aegyo for pics

slut: eww 

play girl: wait thanos r u looking for an apt currently

slut: i eamn i have some money saved but me n namgyu were going to move out tg

half-chub: really??

cunt: ya we alr live tg and it would save money

pussy: 2 bed rooms are hard to find around here tho

slut: thats why were only getting a 1 br

play girl: n u guys still wont admit it...

cunt: admit what

*chat with play girl, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

january 4, 2:26 pm

play girl: speaking of those two being fucking gay

play girl: did any of us get the chance to talk to thanos when we all hung out

cornball: no i was w myunggi most the night

half-chub: no i was w u or junhee the whole time basically

teen mom: i was wayyy to sober to deal w his shit so i was only w him in the beginning

teen mom: but then he threw myunggis toaster out the window so i dipped

old me: fair

old me: and no i didnt 

MGcoin: no i didnt get the chance

pussy: oh wait i did a bit

teen mom: and u waited this long to tell us

pussy: sorrrrryyyy i was blacked out n i just remembered

play girl: okk hurry tell usssss

pussy: say please

play girl: please please please

teen mom: please

old me: please minsuuu

MGcoin: pretty please tell us

cornball: pls minsu im impatient

half-chub: just fucking tell us

pussy: alr fine

pussy: i think it was like at the end of the night kinda b4 i left n namgyu was in the bathroom so i was in the living room w him alone

pussy: well semi was there too but she was passed out on the ground

half-chub: dont bring that up

pussy: but badically we were talking abt like how he got kicked out n he was like "ohh im just sooo greatful for namgyu" n being all sappy n shit

pussy: so i was like "idk man u n namhgyu seem vvvv closeeee" n his dumbass was like "yeah hes my besssssttfriend"

pussy: n then i was like "u dont like him more then that??" n he got all quiet and stuff n rlly focused n i thought he was abt to green out so i like stepped away but he like stopped me

cornball: wym stopped you

pussy: like he grabbed my shoulder and then like whsipered to me "i think i like him" n it was rlly cute n stuff but then namgyu came out of the bathroom n thanos like smiled at me n then they went to go to the uber they called

play girl: why is that lowkey so cute

teen mom: oh my god that is actually like adorable i need them tg b4 i crash tf out 😆😆

cornball: stop i nee them tg 

cornball: i ahve a feeling it wont be the same fucking dumpster fire that myunggi n junhee r

teen mom: yeah hoepfully neither of them r dickheads

MGcoin: is that supposed to be a sneak diss

teen mom: no its supposed to be a DISS diss

MGcoin: ok fair thanks fr admitting it

teen mom: any time

old me: anyway now that like we know thanos likes namgyu what do we do

half-chub: cantwe just tell thanos to tell namgyu he lieks him like we were planning before

pussy: yeah but now that theyre moving in tg the risks r too high for thaos to just go for it

pussy: even if hes high

cornball: im still down to get him high bc i want to try youngmis method

pussy: ill ask thanos to come over my place tm after his shift if hes working n ill bring it uo

half-chub: i still cant believe anyone would hire him

teen mom: ik and "subong"

old me: geninely forgot that was his real name i havent heard ts since like 6th grade

cornball: MINSU UPDATE US IMMMMMMMEEEEDDDIAAATLEEEYEYYYYY IF HE SAYS SMT

pussy: ok ok i will i j forgot last time bc i was fucking one sip away from passing outtttt

Chapter Text

february 5, 11:56 pm

slut: guys i cant do this job shit oml

half-chub: havent u only worked for like a week

slut: bro its so hard im DREADING going into work after school

slut: how bad would it be to ghost

cornball: bad bad

pussy: privileged man finds out a job is hard

slut: im meant for the unemployed life

playgirl: oh we know

teen mom: how r u n namgyu gonna get an apartent

cunt: onlyfans

slut: or sell drugs

cunt: or our organs or smt on blackmarket

slut: or we can rob a bank

MGcoin: um i dont think those r good options

teen mom: myunggi u literally scam ppl on yt and fucking do crypto

teen mom: yo ahh dont know shit abt "good options" to make money

MGcoin: u think doing crypto is worse then selling my organs or drugs

MGcoin: or doing only fans

half-chub: tbf its not THAT much better

MGcoin: im done bru im putting my phone away n listening in class

MGcoin: u deliquents should do the same...

cornball: bro stfu i can literally see u still on ur phone in the back fo class

playgirl: his ass is so unsneaky it hurts

cornball: literally

cornball: omfg his dumbass is watching beta squad now

cunt: bro unemployed final boss

old me: bro unemployed final boss is ur fucking boyfriend

cunt: ?? im single

pussy: speaking of him

pussy: thanos when is ur shift over tn

cunt: am i tripping or were we not speaking of him?

half-chub: oh we were!

cunt: im confused

slut: my shift is 3 ta 8 pm

pussy: wanna come over after

slut: ion got any weed or nuthin

pussy: im not j hanging out for weed

slut: then why u want to hang out

pussy: cause??

slut: 🤨🤨

slut: fine but im not going to stay too long

slut: n u better have snacks

pussy: great sounds good

slut: y r u bein weird

pussy: im not

slut: yes u r

pussy: r u high or smt

slut: thats beside the point

cornball: its fucking noon on a wednesday

teen mom: arent u literally in school too

slut: im in school but im not in class so its fine

cunt: yea ur meant for the unemployed life

slut: thats not an insult to me

half-chub: it REALLY REALLY should be

slut: ur words dont hurt me 

young me: im thinking they should be more of a wakeup call

slut: im not sleepin

young me: every day i think god is testing me whether i can get into heaven or not

slut: tf i gotta do w that

young me: tf u DONT gotta do w it is the question

cunt: yo wait minsu u got snacks

pussy: no shit im not broke like yall

cunt: where my invite

pussy: u cant come

cunt: wht y

slut: why cnat namsu comeee

pussy: well because

pussy: idk he j cant

slut: the hell🤨🤨

cunt: man fck u minsu y cant i cpme im getting fomo

pussy: idk u j cant man

cunt: how many times have u chiefed my shit for free

cunt: or better yet how many times have i gaven u free grams

half-chub: namsu come hang w me n junhee instead

cunt: im not cucking yall

cunt: tf yall lesbians even do when u hang

cunt: is it just 2 girls 1 cup type stuff

teen mom: no wtf

half-chub: yes

MGcoin: ???

Chapter Text

*chat with pussy and slut*

february 5, 8:11 pm

slut: minsuuuu 

pussy: what

slut: whats w the attitude ;(

pussy: boy please

slut: u suck srsly -_-

pussy: ???

pussy: is ur shift over

slut: ya dats what i was going to tell u but u want to be a hoe

pussy: 🖕🖕🖕

pussy: hurry up n come over lets play xbox

slut: YES

slut: im going to stop home n change gimme like 30 mins

pussy: kk

slut: y coudltn namgyu come btw😞

pussy: i j wanna hang out just us

slut: HAHA GAY AHHH🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈😂😂😂😂😂😂

slut: bro if u want me just say that 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈😂😂😂😂😂😂

pussy: oh my god

*chat with play girl, old me, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

february 5, 8:16 pm

pussy: ok thanos is on his way soon

teen mom: give live updates!!!

old me: wont it be weird if u pull ur phone out after everything he says  🤨

half-chub: truly i think minsu could start wanking it infront of him n thanos wouldnt even bat an eye

pussy: why would i do that

half-chub: idk what ur into🤷🤷

pussy: ?!?

*chat with pussy and slut*

february 5, 8:49 pm

slut: unlcok ur door im here

pussy: just knock my dad will let u in

slut: hell nah he scaru af

pusys: fine ill go unlock it🫤🫤🫤

*chat with play girl, old me, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

february 5, 8:51 pm

pussy: the eagle has landed in the nest. keep watch.

MGcoin: wtf was that just a death threat???

play girl: should i be scared

teen mom: am i in immediate danger

pussy: sorry i meant thanos has arrived at my house

pussy: i thought that would be cool'

MGcoin: it wasnt

half-chub: thats not a message i wanted to get w no context at 9 pm

cornball: seriously why would that be cool at all

pussy: ok well it got the message across didnt it

play girl: actually no it did not at all

teen mom: the message only got across bc u clarified

half-chub: yeah like could u rlly not start w saying "oh thanos arrived"

MGcoin: fr bro thought he was cool lmfao

pussy: ok fuck u guys

cornball: sorry but wtf were we supposed to keep watch for lmfaoo😭😭

teen mom: im srriously dying

old me: that was a fr ego hit for him

play girl: no seriously😭😭

pussy: im not giving live updates

teen mom: WAIT

teen mom: WE WERE KIDDING

half-chub: I DIDNT MEAN IT

half-chub: PLS IM NOSEY

MGcoin: minsyub wuait i was just olaying

cornball: MINSU ILL KEEP WATCH

play girl: I DIDNT MEAN IT

pussy: ok fine😄😄

old me: nah idgaf what gay shit yall got going on

pussy:🫤🫤

*chat with play girl, old me, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

february 5, 9:03 pm

half-chub: minsu any updates???

half-chub: minsuuuu???

*chat with play girl, old me, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

february 5, 10:02 pm

old me: ok damn its been over an hr

teen mom: do we think thanos killed him or smt

cornball: no he wouldnt

cornball: right..??

MGcoin: um idk

play girl: give him till like 11 n then well get worried

half-chub: i was rlly excited for my live updates but damn ig not

*chat with play girl, old me, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

february 5, 10:39 pm

MGcoin: minsuuuu??????

*chat with play girl, old me, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

february 5, 11:17 pm

half-chub: ok is it time to get worried

teen mom: wht if someone seriously broke in or smt

cornball: ykw i trust thanos would portect him

conrball: he has that natural protective alphaness about him

cornball: and minsu is kinda like his little omega 

play girl: okay....

play girl: daeho honey how about you put the phone down and go to bed😄

cornball: do i have a natural alphaness to me

MGcoin: no definetly a beta

cornball: wtf no im dont

play girl: lets not encourage this

half-chub: daehos scent would deff be liek cat pee and rotting trash or smt

cornball: WTF?!?!

cornball: it would be a cool mint and fresh linen, with a hint of nature musk

cornball: urs would fucking be body odor and raw chicken🖕🖕

teen mom: no mine would be cherry blossom and sweet pastries

teen mom: ur just mad cus im telling the truth

cornball: no :((

pussy: what the fuck

MGcoin: MINSU

play girl: MINSU SAVE US

half-chub: UPDATES UPDATES UPDATES

old me: UPDATE US WTF WHERE HAVE U BEEN

pussy: dont care abt that gay stuff u say

old me: WE ALL KNOW I WAS LYIN PLS UPDATE USSS

pussy: no daeho called me a fucking omega im feeling salty

teen mom: DAEHO APOLIGIZE

cornball: IM SORRY UR NOT UR AN ALPHA

cornball: U WOULD PROTECT THANOS I SWEAER

pussy: ok fine only cus i rlly need to tell u thi b4 i explode

play girl: YES

pussy: ok so basically like i wasnt on my phone cus we were having this rlly deep talk and like hes really insightful when hes not high out of his mind??

pussy: like i cant remember every word but we were playing mario cart and then he js kinda started talking abiout like the feeling of "ur whole heart being in someone elses hands without them knowing" and like how "one action, that means nothing to them, can shatter ur being" and i was like woah

cornball: holy shi wha

MGcoin: iv literally seen his misinterpret charlottes web wtf is all this

teen mom: stop i love my little thanos baby hes so cute

half-chub: ???

teen mom: ya ur right sorry its past my bedtime

pussy: ANYWAY

pussy: then i kinda like put ythe game down and was like what was this abt and he said namgyu was like sayig how he wanted to start dating peopke or wgatever, and thanos said he didnt even know like he REALLY liked namgyu all that much until namgyu said that, and like hes been feeling all weird n stuff bc lie he shoudlnt be feeling that way and namgyu sis uch a big part of his life and if he loses him he'll be absoultely screwd

pussy: and thanos wasnt even talking like house wise or whatever, he was saying like if he lost namygyu he woudlnt know what to do anymore

half-chub: oh my god stop :((

teen mom: SEE HES SO CUTE

half-chub: i forget he has feelings and thoughts :((((

cornball: real

pussy: so basically i reassured him that he should talk to namgyu abotut his, because im sure they would benefit through talkign this out and nmagyu dedintly like would not hate him or whatever

pussy: i said it in much better words irl bc im such a genuis but u ge tthe point over text

old me: biggest lie of 2025

pussy: but yeah like he just rlly left my house cus he said he was tired after work but he said hell talk to nmagyu!!!

teen mom: YESS!!!

half-chub: HISOTYR WAS ,ADE TODA

cornball: STOP THIS IS SO PACKMATES TO LOVERS ALPHA X OMEGA AW

old me: OH MY GOD

play girl: STOP THEYRE SO CUTE

teen mom: IM ACTUALLY TEARING UP I LOVE MY FRIENDS

MGcoin: aww jun hee i love u too

teen mom: oh not u

teen mom: mood ruined :(

Chapter Text

february 6, 11:43 am

half-chub: holy fuck im so hungry

teen mom:

MGcoin: y is thta image on standby

slut: holy fuck

slut: holy fucking fuck

slut: that body of yours is absurd

half-chub: thanos y r u awake so early

slut: namgyus mom wanted to take us to this nice ass breakfast place

slut: rich ppl amiriight

cunt: i am not rich

play girl: namgyu u unironically own a hot tub.

teen mom: u have an inground pool thats like 30x60 ft.

pussy: u literally had a hoverboard when u were younger.

cunt: im upper middle class

cornball: bro ur rich.

half-chub: guys im still hungry whos goig to fix thta for me

play girl: just go eat lunch..?

half-chub: 😒😒😒

half-chub: i want wingstop

cornball: im not driving fr this time

half-chub: ...

cornball: bro frr😢 i have stuff to do today

half-chub: ........

cornball: oh my god fine ill pick u up in 30 minutes

cornball: u all actually suck i hope u ALL die

cunt: damn WE, YES WE, all going to hell fr 😂😂😂

half-chub: sorry i dont think anyone else in this gc is the one who jerked it at their gmas funeral.

old me: HUH?!?!?!?!?!?!?

teen mom: U DID WHAT????

play girl: WAIT

MGcoin: ????????????

cornball: AM I TRIPPING HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABT THIS

pussy: i dont think i wanted to know this gng❤️

slut: yall didnt know this?

play girl: U DID??

slut: well duh who do u think got the vid

pussy: ??? huh ???

half-chub: n just to clarify,

half-chub: yall ARENT dating, right

slut: no?

half-chub: wow ok

slut: cmon yall aint nvr send ur hbs a vid or u jorkin it?😂

pussy: no i dont believe so....

slut: then u missin out🤷‍♂️

*chat with play girl, old me, pussy, teen mom, cornball, MGcoin, and half-chub*

february 6, 12:52 pm

teen mom: no im srsly done

teen mom: we need to do smt now thry r out of hand

cornball: wdym they send vids of them fiddling their sticks to eachother??

play girl: im genuinely in shock

old me: fiddling their sticks???

pussy: bro we need to get them tg now so they can see this sint normal to do w ur hbs

half-chub: i mean what can go wrong

half-chub: i alr kno namgyu likes thanos bc all the.. fantasies hes told me

teen mom: im just worried well rush it and itll turn out horrible like me and myunggi

cornball: didnt we alr say, as long as nobody else is as horrible as him, the relationship should be good?

MGcoin: im done wth

teen mom: well i dont think anyone can be as horrible as him

MGcoin: 🫤🫤

cornball: yeah so we should have hope

old me: i say we tell thanos to ask out namgyu

play girl: ya tbf i think he would

half-chub: im j worried that idiot will fuck it up n show up high or smt

teen mom: honeslty namgyu is so enamored by thanos i think thanos could literally ask him out by putting a bag over his head and kidnapping him

teen mom: and namgyu would still say yes

pussy: god hes such a loser

pussy: but thats true

play girl: gusy imagine they got married

teen mom: STOP OH MY GOD

MGcoin: theyd do coke lines instead of cutting the cake or smt

pussy: STOP

teen mom: ok if they get married we all need to deliver a crazy speech abt how we got them tg w our huge brains and iq

cornball: srsly like that would eat SO HARD

half-chub: wait if they get married we need them to start dating in a cute way so they have a good story

young me: wait can i photograph thanos asking namgyu out so we can make a slideshow to show 

teen mom: YES

play girl: we still need to keep it organic tho so namgyu believes its true on thanos' end

MGcoin: i say we call thanos and then tell him to ask namgyu to play fortnite, and then when they die thanos can ask him out

teen mom: r u kidding.

MGcoin: no?

teen mom: god u r such a man

cornball: i say we talk to thanos and convince him to say yes

cornball: and then after thanos' work, isntead of going home he can come to minsus house

cornball: and we will get him all ready and he can buy flowers and stuff

cornball: and then he can go back to namgyus house and ask him oyt

cornball: and we can all hide so when namgyu says yes we can all jump out and take pics n stuff

teen mom: WAIT UR COOKING SRSLY

MGcoin: HES A MAN TOO

half-chub: yeah but hes not stupid

old me: seriosuly

pussy: ok we need to lock in and tell thanos to do this fr

old me: i think THE day should be like the 8th so thanos can buy the flowers and we can convince him to say yes

pussy: itll prob take no convincing knowing his desperate unoriginal ass