Work Text:
"H-hey," Sebastian calls out, his voice slightly trembling. "You're not going to die, right...?"
Randal, the boy in his arms, replies with a grin on his face, "Oh? You're worried about me? How caring of you, my dear pet, keke."
Sebastian feels like he's going to cry. Tears were gathering at his eyes, and his vision was starting to get a bit misty, even. He holds the boy in his arms closer to him, a hand holding Randal's back and the other holding onto Randal's head. He wants to say something, but no words came out of his mouth.
Randal grinned, "Has my dear Sebastian even thought of where I should be buried already? Keke.."
"No...!"
"...hm?"
"No one's- no one's gonna die, and you're not...getting buried, okay?" Sebastian struggled to say his words properly, as the tears just start flowing down his face, drop by drop. "Just...stay awake for me, please." Tears kept rolling down his face, as he wondered, how did it even come to this? Why? Why would this even happen? Randal was supposed to be invincible, right?! If anything, the one dying should be him instead! He was the human here, not Randal!
"S-" Randal tries to talk, but Sebastian whisper-shouts to Randal, before Randal could say anything: "Don't die on me, please...!" Sebastian is crying. Tears are flowing down is face, and he can't even see Randal properly anymore. "...please.." He holds onto Randal desperately, not wanting to let go of him.
For once, the light brown haired boy was quiet. Sebastian continues to speak: "..if you're gone, then I- I'll be all alone, you know...!" Sebastian is obviously stuttering, but that doesn't stop him from saying what he wants.
"If you're gone, then who's gonna bring me on adventures..?" As much as Sebastian had said he'd hated their' adventures', he's actually started to find them fun, as much as he'd hate to admit it.
Sebastian is clearly shaking.
"If you're gone, I...."
"Sebastian." Randal interrupted, "Listen to me." ..what? Sebastian blinked, his vision not that clear but at least he could see the face of the boy in his arms now. Randal smiled, seeing that Sebastian had stopped. This time, instead of his usual shit-eating grin it was...a genuine smile?
"Now now Sebastian, there's no need to be so...err...upset, about your dear master going to sleep, now is there? Heh.." Going to sleep forever was probably what's going to happen to him, he knows that.
Sebastian remained silent. He knew that there was nothing he could do about it, and he hated it. He hated the fact that he was unable to do anything but watch the boy in his arms die. 'God, why did it have to be him?' Sebastian questioned in his mind.
Why?
Just...
...why?
"..it should've been me..." Randal could hear the curly haired boy mutter to himself, as the tears just kept falling. He didn't know why, but Randal just felt like he had to do something. Anything.
He swore his body just moved on it's own.
A gloved hand held onto the other, and Sebastian's hand——that was previously holding onto Randal's back——was now cupping Randal's cheek. Sebastian could only feel the coldness of the other's skin as his hand was pressed against it, but at the same time, it felt...warm?
What was this warmth he was feeling in his heart?
"It's okay, Sebastian." Randal said with a gentle smile, an attempt to reassure the crying boy. Just what was this weird feeling he was feeling? This weird feeling made him feel...rather upset when he saw his dear pet- no, Sebastian, crying for him. This weird feeling made him feel like cheering Sebastian up so much that Sebastian would never stop smiling. This weird feeling made him feel something he'd never felt before. Was this what humans would call 'heartbreak'? Randal wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. All he wanted to do now was just one thing: make Sebastian happy.
"But-" Sebastian just couldn't bear it, why was Randal still smiling? No, just why was Randal still able to smile in such a situation? He couldn't understand.
"Shh, Sebastian. It's okay, I'm still here, aren't I?"
"...Randal..."
"There, now that's more like it." Randal was not grinning like a maniac as usual, just smiling. Smiling, genuinely. "...y'know, I've said before, in the future, I wanna be a grim reaper, right?"
Sebastian nodded, tears never ending. He's right, he did hear the younger boy say that before.
"Well, maybe that dream of mine will come true when I close my eyes, y'know?"
"..."
"See? You're not objecting.." Randal could feel his eyes slowly closing. Was this what death felt like?
"..Randal..?"
There was no response, but Randal was still smiling. He was still awake! Maybe there was still hope?
Despite still having a bit of hope in him, Sebastian couldn't help but feel even more anxious than relieved.
"Don't you close your eyes on me, Randal, you hear me..?!" He tells Randal, teary-eyed with a hint of worry and panic in his voice. Randal doesn't say anything but smile at him.
"C'mon, Sebastian...I don't wanna see you crying when I finally became..." But then he realizes he really can't hold on much longer anymore.
"...ah..." Randal closes his eyes.
It's over.
Randal's eyes are completely shut now, and Sebastian couldn't do anything but sob quietly as he held the younger boy's cold body. Tears fall down his face one by one, and his hand just kept trembling. He's dead. He's dead and he's never coming back. He's dead and Sebastian couldn't do anything about it. He wanted to scream, to just cry and shout, but no words came out, he was just silent. Sebastian knew that Randal was never going to come back, so why? Why did he feel more upset instead of happiness? He should be happy that that idiot was gone for good! It was all that idiot's fault he was stuck in this 'new life' of his anyway, wasn't it? And yet, he could only feel nothing but an overwhelming feeling of sadness right now. All he could do was sit there and cry in silence. He cried and cried, again and again, for a boy who he knew——was never coming back. After crying for so long, it felt like ever single drop of tear had been squeezed out of him. There were no more tears for him to cry anymore. After Randal was gone, all Sebastian felt like wasn't even sadness anymore, but emptiness. He felt like he was nothing. An empty human shaped shell (was he even human anymore?) devoid of emotions. He'd never felt so blank. It was like he had no purpose of living anymore.
The images of Randal dying in his arms kept appearing in his head. He couldn't tell what his mind was trying to remind him of. Was it trying to remind him of the fact that he was too useless to do anything about the dying boy that was in his arms? Or was it trying to remind him of Randal's smiling face? He couldn't tell. 'It's okay, Sebastian.' Randal's words echoed at the back of his mind.
_____
It's been some time since Randal's death. There was nothing to do. Well, nothing for Sebastian to do, that is.
Now, all he could do everyday was just sit there and stare into nothing. Without Randal, he didn't know what to do. Everyday, all he'd done was just wake up, sit down, have breakfast (optional), stare into nothing, question his existence again and again, have dinner, fall asleep, repeat cycle. Not like the two catmen and the older Ivory brother did seem to care anyway.
-----
It was just another one of those days. Sebastian sat there quietly, staring at the television in front of the couch blankly. Sebastian seems to be staring at it with a blank expression on his face. His reflection in the black screen stared back at him.
Nyon had came out of his room and noticed Sebastian sitting on the couch. As the light blue haired catman was wondering if he should ask the other to move, Sebastian noticed him just standing there. Without a sound, Sebastian got up and just started to walk away, leaving the couch for Nyon. Nyon watched as he walked away, to the direction of Randal's room.
"..."
-----
The next day was just like the other, Sebastian was once again sitting there in silence, burying his head in his arms. There was nothing but silence in the air around him.
"-Sebastian!" He heard a rather familiar voice say,
"Hey Sebastian!" The voice called for him again. Wide-eyed with shock, the boy dressed in a jester outfit looked around, but no one was there. Was he imagining things again?
Oh, right. Randal was dead already. He's gone and never coming back, what was he even thinking? Sebastian bit his lip, trying hard not to cry again, as a wave of sadness washed over him again. He tried to ignore the thoughts of Randal flooding his mind again and again, knowing that he'd probably just end up crying again.
But then the familiar voice spoke again.
"I'm up here, Sebastian!"
There was no doubt, that voice was…
"...?!" Sebastian looked up, to see his dead 'owner standing there on the table.
...Randal?!
"Look here, Sebastian! I've got this cool scythe now!" The younger Ivory brother exclaimed with a huge smile on his face, as he held up a scythe excitedly, showing it off to his 'pet'. "And look, I'm a grim reaper now! See? See?" Randal continued, showing that he was also wearing a stereotypical grim reaper's clothing, with a black hood over his head.
"Randal! You're back!" Sebastian, seeing the return of his 'master', felt extremely relieved. He tried his best to muster up a smile, to which Randal smiled back in response, "Hehe, of course I am!"
"...you didn't think I'd actually leave you alone, did you?" Randal asked jokingly, with his usual stupid grin.
"Of course not,.. I'm glad you're back, Randal."
"Yeah, I'm back."
The two boys smiled at each other.
"Anyway, now that I'm back, did you..." Randal stared at Sebastian suspiciously (?).
"..huh..? What?" Sebastian stared back at him, slightly confused.
"...did you perhaps have fun...without me?" Randal asked jokingly once more, acting hurt.
What??
"Wha- huh?? Of course not!!" Sebastian answered, seeming to have taken the question seriously.
"Oh, really? Well, that's good to know!" Randal smiled playfully.
As the two boys continued to talk, Luther, Randal's older brother, noticed Sebastian and Randal (?) talking in a distance. Confused, Luther approached Nyon, one of his catmen.
"Nyon, do you perchance know why Sebastian over there is talking to air?" he asked. Nyon replied, "...apologies, master Luther. I.. don't think I know why.."
"Ah, alright. I understand." Luther was about to walk away, but then Nyon seemed to remember something. "Wait, I…remember."
"Oh?"
"Yesterday, I.." Nyon traced back his memories to the day before.
-----
It was the day before, where Nyon had approached the couch in the living room only to find Sebastian sitting there, dazing off. Nyon was still in his thoughts when Sebastian stood up and left.
"..."
That's when Nyon grabbed onto a bit of Sebastian's clothes, stopping the boy in his tracks.
"What is it?" Sebastian turned around to face Nyon, who actually hadn't really thought of what he was going to do nor say.
"..." Nyon didn't know what he was going to say. Why did he even stop Sebastian for in the first place anyway? He didn't actually know. But then the silence between the two were interrupted by a something falling down onto the floor with a small thud.
"What's this..?" Sebastian got down and picked up the small box of something that fell out of Nyon's pocket.
Oh, it was Nyon's box of cigarettes. '...must've slipped out by accident,' Nyon thought as he reached out and took the box back from Sebastian's hands, before slipping them back into his pocket again, not wanting to risk his master walking past and taking them away from him again. He remembers that the last time master Luther had caught him smoking, he was lectured for 3 whole hours about why smoking isn't good for him. Yep, he was definitely not letting that happen again.
"..thank-" Nyon figured that he should probably thank Sebastian for picking up his box for him.
"Sorry, but...are those...cigarettes...?" Sebastian asked, a bit hesitant. "..." Nyon stared at Sebastian, before nodding. "Ah, I see."
None of them said anything next, so as Nyon was about to turn away,
"..can I have one, please...?"
"..."
"I-I mean, it's okay if you don't-"
Nyon nodded, before placing one onto Sebastian's hand. I mean, what harm could there possibly be?
"...oh, uh, thanks."
Then the two went on their days, not speaking another word to the other. After that, Nyon didn't know what Sebastian had done with it, but it wasn't his business, so he just quickly forgot about it.
-----
Now thinking back, Sebastian probably had used it, was that why he was being weird right now?
'Perhaps he's actually used it.' Luther thought, glancing at Sebastian again. 'Is he hallucinating?'
Turning back to the catman in front of him, Luther said with a smile, "Thank you for telling me, Nyon."
Nyon nodded, and watched as his master walked away, probably to resume what he was previously doing. A part of Nyon felt relieved to know that his master had probably forgotten about the fact that he still had those cigarettes, but another part of him wonders if giving Sebastian a cig really was a good idea or not.
-----
Back to Sebastian and Randal, they were still talking.
"Hey Randal, about what you said- you were right." Sebastian said, to which Randal replies, "Huh? Sorry but...remind me again, Sebastian, but what did I say again?" Randal smiled apologetically.
"You were right, it's okay." 'Now that you're here, it's okay.' Sebastian thought.
"..yeah, I guess I am."
Sebastian and Randal both had a smile on their faces, and poor Sebastian hadn't the slightest idea that all he was doing as of now was just talking to air. That's right, Sebastian was, in fact, hallucinating. Randal was truly gone, and what he sees as of now and is currently talking to is nothing but an illusion.