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James had finally managed to convince Regulus to come out to one of Sirius’ parties with him. Everyone knew that Sirius Black threw the best parties, ‘putting his parents' money to good use’ is what he said. Regulus hated parties, too many people, he always had really bad social anxiety. There also used to be the problem of his hearing. He had been deaf since he was sixteen, when a particularly nasty spell from his parents damaged his hearing. He used to hate parties because he could never fully understand what was going on at any particular time. Then he had run away one night with Sirius and never looked back. The Black brothers had run to the Potters’, who of course had welcomed them with open arms. It had been Sirius’ idea to go there, as he was close with James from Hogwarts. When they had moved in, Effie was furious when she found out about Reg’s hearing. She took him to all the best wizarding and muggle doctors, until he was finally able to get a Cochlear Implant surgery and regain most of his hearing. Of course, he was grateful towards her, but sometimes hearing again after being in silence for so long was very overwhelming to him. He was often confused and embarrassed when he would get so overwhelmed just from hearing that he would scream and cry, but the Potters’ had been so gentle and kind with him, helping him get diagnosed with ASD. James had been there every step of the way, and the two had slowly fallen in love over the years. He was so grateful for the Potters’ and for James, who had made his life so much more worth living, not just surviving, living.
—
It was at this party, not even half an hour in, that Regulus started to notice himself get overwhelmed. He went through the steps his counsellor had given him to help calm down and avoid a meltdown.
Identify the source of the feeling
Well, that was easy. He was at a party, there were too many people, flashing lights, and oh the noise, the noise was too much. He suddenly felt like crying. ‘Okay, moving onto the next step then’ he thought.
Move away from the source of the feeling.
This one was more difficult. He couldn’t just leave the party, James and Sirius would worry about where he had gone. ‘James’ he thought to himself, ‘I need to find James’. James always knew what to do, exactly how to help. He pushed his way through the crowds of people, shuttering every time he brushed up against someone. He spotted James across the room in a crowd of people, there was no way he would be able to talk to him privately and tell him what was going on with all those people around. He took a deep breath and started making his way towards James.
—
James was standing with a group of old friends from school, chatting happily, drink in his hand, when suddenly he felt a small hand grab him and another hand brush against his back. He would know those hands anywhere, Regulus. He turned to greet his boyfriend, a smile on his face, but when he turned, Regulus was not standing behind him, in fact, he wasn’t anywhere nearby. James surveyed the crowd quickly, spotting Regulus at the edge of it, trying to move through it without touching as many people as he could. Regulus turned back to look at him, as if to say ‘Are you coming?’ and when James looked up into his eyes he saw tears beginning to form. He quickly set down his drink, muttered something about needing the loo to his friends, and strowed off through the crowd after Regulus.
He saw Regulus duck into the bathroom and quickly walked the length of the hallway to follow him. He opened the door to the bathroom, happy that Regulus hadn’t locked it being him, and turned to lock it behind the both of them. Whatever was going on, he was sure Reg wouldn’t appreciate visitors. He looked up when he heard sobs coming from behind him, momentarily confused when he couldn’t spot Regulus at first. Regulus was crouched down on the floor and had wedged himself in between the toilet and the bathtub, pressure seeking, James assumed. James crouched down in front of his boyfriend, making sure to leave a little space in case Reg didn’t want to be touched.
“Hey baby, what’s going on love?” James asked, voice soft. “Touch okay?” he asked, and when Reg nodded, he reached up and swiped the tears off his cheeks with his thumbs. Reg let his head drop, resting it in James’ outstretched hands. “Oh baby,” James cooed, leaning far forward to press a kiss to his forehead.
‘Overstimulated. Too much noise. Cochlear makes my brain feel on fire’ he signed to James, lifting his head as he did.
‘Oh baby, I’m sorry’ James signed back. James had been an absolute angel learning sign for Reg. They had both been excited about Reg getting the implant, Regulus was so excited to hear James’ voice for the first time, but James had been also super understanding when Reg came to him complaining of headaches and ‘feeling like his brain was on fire’ from his implants.
‘Can I help you?’ James signed. ‘Maybe it would help to take them off. Let's take a hearing break’. A hearing break, as they called it, was when Reg would take off his implants and let his ears and brain rest. James knew this helped him, even though he felt bad about not using them all the time. He had reassured Reg that his parents wanted what was best for him, they wouldn’t want him to be in pain or discomfort ever. It took him a while to become comfortable enough and accept that fact, but the Potters continued to shower him with unconditional love and support regardless.
He nodded at James, and James ever so gently reached forward and took Regulus’ implant off, playing them gently onto the counter. It was as if someone had turned off all the noise ever in the world, everything fell quiet all at once and Regulus finally felt like he could breathe again. He smiled up at James to signal to him that what he had done had helped. James smiled back at him, reaching forward again to wipe away more tears that had fallen.
‘My beautiful boy’ he signed, and Regulus blushed, swatting at his hands. James instead took his hands, holding them in his, and using his thumbs to rub pressure into his palm, another thing he knew helped calm Regulus down. He repeated the motion, the constant pressure, feeling Regulus relax and calm more as the minutes passed. Eventually, Regulus looked up at him, as if asking to be held; James could read his every look, every glance, as if Regulus was an open book. James opened his arms in an inviting gesture and pulled Regulus onto his lap, situating him so that they were flush chest to chest. He wanted Regulus to feel his calm heartbeat and his calm breathing, again knowing these things helped his boyfriend calm down.
—
Regulus pressed his face against James' chest, feeling his heartbeat, feeling his every breath. There was something he loved so much about this, maybe it was the fact that he didn’t have to hear it, he could feel it. It vibrated through him, connecting them. He loved being this close, it felt so intimate, so personal, and he felt so loved. It always helped him when he was overwhelmed or overstimulated, or just when he needed to be grounded. His Jamie was perfect for him, they both loved each other with everything they had, with every particle of their being.
He felt his breathing evening out and he took a deep, content breath when he felt James start to rub his back. Oh, it was his favourite thing, being in James’ arms while having his back rubbed. He was sure this was what heaven would be like someday.
They stayed like that, cuddled up together on the floor of the bathroom, James slowly rocking them back and forth, rubbing Reg’s back for a while. They both felt so at peace in that moment, both wanting to stay like that forever. Eventually, Regulus tilted his head back, looking up at James. James bent down, catching his lips up in a heartstopping kiss. Regulus leaned up into the kiss, They broke apart, both out of breath, before Regulus launched himself back up at James, kissing him harder. James kissed him back with just as much, if not more passion, and Regulus could feel him murmur ‘I love you’ into the kiss. He smiled as he continued to kiss James, licking James’ lip as he pulled away. He laid back down on James' chest and James pressed a kiss into his hair. James tapped the top of Regulus’ head, and Regulus looked up at him questioningly.
‘Do you want to go home love?’ James signed. ‘We can go home and relax, I can always come to another party, don’t you worry your pretty little head,’ he signed quickly as he saw the guilt flash across Regulus’ face. ‘Come on love, we can go home and cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.’ That did sound pretty nice to Reg, as he could read the subtitles and didn’t have to listen, so he nodded, shifting himself off of James’ lap so his boyfriend could get up. James then reached down a hand to help Regulus up from the floor as well.
‘What will we tell Sirius?’ Regulus asked.
‘I’m sure he won’t notice or mind us leaving now. I will text him when we get home okay?’
‘Okay’
And with that, James unlocked the bathroom door, grabbed Regulus’ implant off the counter, and carefully put it in his pocket. He grabbed Regulus’ hand and led him through the hallway, guiding him around people and out the door, where they apparated back home.
—
After a long night of kisses and cuddles, they both fell asleep in each other's arms on the couch.