Chapter Text
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JEDIDIAH:
Hey campers…um so Elijah’s making me do the announcements this year so just please bear with me.
Good morning, I’m Jedidiah A. A. Martin and I'll be your head nurse here at Camp Here and There. You’ll be able to find me and my…now a-assistant? Elijah Volkov in the nurses' building on the southernmost outskirts of the grounds.
If you were here last year you’ll probably remember that Elijah’s usually the one who does the announcements but apparently he’s too busy this year to actually, you know, do his job so here we are!
He says it’ll be good for me anyways, help me break out of my shell, but I’m very happy in my shell! Public speaking was always his thing and I–whatever whatever, sorry.
At Least I got a promotion out of it.
Well I mean, I say promotion but Lucille’s still paying me the same of course. I’m basically doing the same thing anyway, Elijah…hasn’t been particularly helpful these past couple of years. He’s been distracted? Always locked in his office doing god knows what. He just got here a week ago and he's hardly bothered to speak to me at all.
[CLEARING HIS THROAT]
Sorry! All that to say, you probably won’t see him around much this year. The titles cool though, I guess; Head Nurse...
Anywayyy what am I actually supposed to say during these things?
[trying to get it together] Ok, I’ll just start with the time…
The time is 8:63 AM the sky…well it’s like almost red? There’s definitely brown up there though I really can’t tell.
Breakfast this morning, brought to you by our chef Matthew is…buttered cockroaches and oatmeal roadkill surprise?! [whispered] Ok is this legal??
Mph, never mind. Vegans get dirt cakes, which sounds pleasant but knowing Matthew it’s probably real dirt, so I’d um...I’d steer clear.
Today of course, as you returning few may remember, is our annual icebreaker day. Get to know each other with your ice picks in hand! Make sure not to waste any of the ice though. Seriously, they use this in our drinks for the rest of the summer. Trust me on this one children when I was a camper here we messed up once and all our ice fell in the lake. Lucille was all stubborn about it and we had to endure hot drinks for the entire summer, it was disgusting. Yep, I did not enjoy that...
Oh, Luccile’s our camp director by the way!…not sure if you guys knew that. Now you do I guess.
Yeah…um…So…I think that's finally it! Thank god.
Uh, I mean have a nice day kids!…Goodbye.
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JEDIDIAH:
Hello campers, good afternoon. It is 12:80 pm and well um... yeah I’m not doing a weather report every announcement, you all have been outside today, you tell me how it is!
So the first day of camp seems to be going pretty well so far, or at least as well as it can go at this “lovely” establishment. I’ve been told that your children did very well with this morning’s activity so good on you. Thanks to you we all get cold drinks this summer.
For lunch today Matthew has made mahogany soup? I'm not even going to try to figure out what that is, good luck with that. Vegans, you guys get assorted flowers.
For afternoon activities we have a three-legged race. That actually sounds normal enough…wait yeah, yeah of course.
Apparently, I was wrong because god forbid anything at this camp be normal!
Before the race your legs will be fused together by our… practicing mage Counselor Soren. I’m honestly not sure why we still let him do these things, I can’t imagine how much he’s paying Lucille for this... That’s not it either, during the race the counselors will release snapping turtles for each team to trip into.
[disbelif ] Oh my god, who plans these?!
Please be careful children turtles may sound like an easy opponent for a race but trust me snapping turtles do not play around. Ever since that infamous race between the tortoise and the hare, tortoises and turtles alike have risen up, striving to become faster and stronger opponents. They tasted victory once and they’re not prepared to back down again. Try your best not to get hurt but if you do I’m sure I can provide adequate medical care.
If you’re looking for a more relaxed, or at least less deadly way to spend your afternoon Joshua is hosting, what he calls his, Alpha Gaming Hour.
[HE PAUSES]
Honestly, I think I'd rather risk the race.
Alright, I believe that's it?
Wait right, I forgot to mention-I gotta talk about one more thing sorry. We got a report from counselor Marisol Yuchengco about a masked man on the grounds.
He’s said to have long black hair, adorned with mushrooms, carry a cane covered in vines, and of course, his most notable descriptor, the black cat mask covering his face. He was last seen wearing an Elizabethan nurse's dress, old and dirty. Marisol said it looked like something back from the bubonic plague.
When she saw him though, she said something weird happened. First of all, he was apparently sitting right outside my office, like directly underneath my window sill, but that's not even the weird part. Well, it-it is a weird part but not the weirdest part. Anyway, as this man sat below my window sill Marisol said she saw vines growing. She said they had sprouted up from the ground seemingly out of nowhere and were climbing up the side of the building. Flowers bloomed from each of them as they continued their climb, it was a bizarre sight.
Apparently The…um…Cat Man? didn’t seem phased by this at all. In fact, his eyes were closed the whole time. When he finally opened them he reached out next to him, touching one of the flowers and quietly laughing to himself. He spotted Marisol soon after, but upon making eye contact with the man she described a weird feeling coming over her. Almost like this blossoming euphoria, it was not unpleasant but the suddenness of it all scared her, and she ran away. The masked man must have left soon after, but when asked, multiple campers claim to have seen him around, in years past. If any of you kids see him again please inform me or a trusted adult immediately. We don't know who this man is or what he can do, so it's important that we air on the side of caution.
There are still vines outside my office…Bye.
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JEDIDIAH:
Good evening campers. It is 19:05 pm and your first day of camp is almost over! Hey, I feel like I’m finally getting the hang of this!
Ahem, sorry I hope you guys had a fun first day at camp. I’ve been told the three-legged race actually went pretty well. I only had to treat 5 campers today, all for minimal things like bites and bruises. Well, except for those two campers who Soren fused together permanently. I'm so so sorry you guys I really am doing my best to try and separate you two safely. Of course, this would all go faster if ELIJAH would actually help me but for now, I’m all you got.
Anyway um...right, right diner. Dinner tonight buffalo horns stuffed with buffalo meat topped with a side of purple cheese.
Vegans get Green. That’s it, it just says Green, I'm not actually sure what “Green” is. I-Is it the color of the food? Or something to do with the flavor? Is there just a new food called Green?! If anyone wants to tell me please do! The internet here is garbage so I can’t really look anything up. I haven’t gone down a research rabbit hole in years. Man, I miss tho-
[JEDIDIAH’S DOOR IS OPENED]
[Flat] Oh hey Elijah. What are you doing here? I’m in the middle of announcements.
ELIJAH: Oh Jedidiah, don’t use that tone with me! I’m here to help the campers of course.
JEDIDIAH: Wait, h-how did you even—? You’ve been in your office like all day!
ELIJAH: Hey, Hey calm down, boy. You know I only want what’s best for you, and the camp! I’m doing important work in there, don't you forget.
JEDIDIAH: Yeah I know, your project?
ELIJAH: Yes, Jedidiah, my project! It will be wonderful once it sees itself to completion. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about the details.
JEDIDIAH: I really wasn’t, w-what?!
ELIJAH: Ah and what was it you originally asked? Right, yes the campers! There are loudspeakers all over this camp, of course, I listen to your announcements. Plus I heard the poor children when they came in, all teary-eyed and scared. You know me Jedidiah, I'm a sensitive soul, I just couldn’t bear it; started concocting this solution as soon as I heard them! It may burn a little but we’ll just have to see, won’t we?
JEDIDIAH: They’re–they're in the nurse's office, second bed on the left. I have to finish doing the announcements but I'll meet you there in a minute, ok? Feel free to get started without me, do whatever you need. Just…help them out?
ELIJAH: Well of course.
JEDIDIAH:
Hello again campers, sorry about that interruption! Now that that’s being taken care of, I'll get back to these announcements.
Congratulations to campers Runna Tracksta and Harriet Shelton for winning the three-legged race! You guys put some very confident turtles to shame today. Better watch out though, they might come for you while you sleep tonight. [Small laugh] Mhm…was that funny? I don’t know, a-anyway, anyway, for tonight’s activity we have the first seeing ceremony of the summer! I remember those well from when I was a kid. I had this friend who was really into them! Personally, I never really understood appeal but he was always…um…he was…he—?
[HE PAUSES FOR A LONG TIME, BEFORE CONTINUING.]
Yes. Umm, I'm sorry, don't know what came over me there. Tonight you all will gather around the bonfire and inhale the fumes from the oracle flame. Fair warning, for all the new campers the inhalation of the flames can be a bit jarring the first time. Your dreams will be…well they’ll be interesting, to say the least. I don’t envy you, the oracle already gives me all the information I need u-
[DISTANT CHILDREN SCREAM FROM THE NURSE'S OFFICE]
ELIJAH WHAT DID YOU—!? Um, sorry, I gotta run, I hope you enjoy your evening children. Goodnight!
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July 1st
Dear Diary, Ew no, I hate that
Hello journal
Elijah got this for me for my birthday this year. He said it would help me “express my feelings” or something. It was nice of him, but I haven’t had much of a reason to use it yet. Nothing interesting happens here during the year. The days kind of just blend together you know? There’s nothing to feel on those days anyway; just dull. Today was nice though I guess. The first day of camp usually is. I got to see people, other than Lucille and Elijah so that’s always a plus.
But then there were these two campers that got terribly injured. Elijah made some weird ointment to fix them up, and it did. Of course, it did but it hurt them. Badly. I know Elijah had no ill will, but, it's just, that while the kids were screaming he didn’t even seem to care. When I came in they were convulsing, blinking in and out conscious and he just stood over them! “It’s for the best,” he told me as I walked in but still it was awful to watch. It worked, of course, it worked but it left each kid with raw gaping wounds on their legs. Poor kids.
Elijah and his so-called “bleeding heart” how could he sit by like that while there were people still hurting? I guess it’s just a trademark of a good scientist, knowing when to step back, to let the experiment take charge; but these are human beings. That’s why I've always preferred machines, they’re predictable, they can’t surprise you. Stepping back is easy with machines, they don't feel they can’t cry out in pain they can’t beg. God “It’s for the best” That’s what he told me after– _-_
Okay, the strangest thing just happened. So, this morning Marisol was talking about this masked guy he saw outside my office and I think he was just in here. I was sitting here, you know, writing in you and everything was completely normal but then suddenly I felt my mind go blank and the pencil went limp in my hand.
I don’t know how he got in, there are at least 3 locked doors in the way, but in he very much got. When he came in though, it wasn’t fear I felt. No, it wasn’t like that at all. I’m terrified right now, of course, but mere minutes ago fear didn’t even cross my mind. If anything I would at least have expected to feel that sense of rising bliss that Marisol described but when I looked at the masked man standing in front of me all I felt was fatigue. It was as if all the energy had been drained from my body. Everything felt vague, I knew I could move if I really tried but I couldn't have been bothered to put in the effort. I couldn’t think straight enough to say anything, or even be scared. It's difficult to describe.
He came closer and stood himself right in front of my desk, but somehow I just couldn’t bring myself to care. He was just standing there staring at me! It was unclear what he was doing for a second, but then I felt a warm sensation on my wrist. It was as if all the energy that had been taken from me was concentrating itself right there. It was strange, a shudder passed through my body as the energy seemed to manifest itself into the mushroom which proceeded to sprout from my wrist. The mushroom was small and brown, one of those common ones that you’d find in the forest. I didn’t even feel it, my brain was so fogged up that I don’t think I could have felt much of anything at that moment. I just stared, completely unphased by the scene playing out in front of me. And then after all that he plucked it out of my wrist and put it in his hair? It was just so bizarre!
After he pulled it out a single drop of blood fell from my wrist to the table. The man wiped it up without a second thought; without even an ounce of regret. When he lifted his mask I think I might have stopped breathing for a second, it wasn’t out of shock or anything, I think my body may have just forgotten how. My vision blurred at the edges and I remained conscious but just barely. He didn’t even remove it fully, just enough to see his smile as he spoke for the first time. All he said was “Thank you” and then he giggled! He giggled like my forced complacency was some kind of sick joke!
He left after that, taking my only proof of the encounter with him, and I couldn’t even stop him. Once he was out of my sight everything caught up with me, it was like I’d just chugged 6 shots of espresso, the fear and confusion rushing into me all at once. I guess I should probably tell Elijah about this, but I don’t know if he’d believe me. Hell, I wouldn’t even believe me! It was real though, I'm sure of it! Just the randomness of it all, there’s no way I could have imagined that. It came so out of nowhere.
I can’t be losing it, not to this extent at least, right? I’m a logical person and I know logically that that little encounter with The Cat Man (I guess that’s what we’re calling him) should not have been possible but I also know myself, this is far too out there even for me. He had to be real, and that’s even more terrifying. I’m gonna try and sleep now, I guess. I'll deal with this in the morning.