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She drank until he was no longer real.
Another glass of tequila after another. Few shots of vodka followed by a fast slurp of gin.
Nothing seemed to ease the pain.
She sighed heavily putting the bottle of the throat-burning liquid down on the table and rubbed her foggy eyes. Alcohol was spilled on the photographs that represented the happy memories that they created over the years yet, at that moment, she couldn’t care less. She glanced at the top one that showed their pure joy.
Hugging.
Kissing.
Smiling.
Laughing.
It was their second anniversary. Not that they were counting, but, much to her dismay, he made it a point to remind her how much time they had been happily together and how much time was still to come.
He had no idea how wrong he was.
She snorted and gulped another glass full of alcohol down her throat. It was burning like gasoline set on fire, but it was exactly what she needed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Trying to forget or remember. She didn’t know anymore.
Her eyes drifted to the pictures once more. They were colorful, shiny and out of place, according to her. She couldn’t believe such delightful times could end so quickly and leave her with a box filled with faces on paper that meant completely nothing.
She hated him. She blamed him for leaving. How dared he?! She couldn’t comprehend why he would be so foolish. They made a promise to each other on the day they met. They didn’t know it was going to get as far as it did between them, but the intentions were clear since the start.
Always and longer than forever.
She felt a stinging sensation in her eyes and, before she knew it, she was crying. She hated it. She wasn’t sad, she was angry so there was no reason for the weeping yet her body chose a different path of processing what was happening.
She couldn’t hold it anymore so she let it go. She cried heavily and uncontrollably shoving the bottles of alcohol off the table causing them to break into pieces. She fell on the couch and wrapped her arms around her knees bringing them up to her chin. She wanted to feel safe, secure, but she knew that sensation was gone forever.
Gone along with him.
Ironically, feeling secure was exactly what left her vulnerable and alone at that moment. He was always so protective and she loved it. They were both each other’s guardian angels. It was perfect until one day. Just one day ago.
If she only didn’t call him…
If he only stayed where he was…
If only that man didn’t have a gun…