Work Text:
It used to be very uncommon, raging to almost mythical, to find Agatsuma on the training grounds at all. It happened to be a rare, one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ type of occasions, the type where nobody would believe you unless they witnessed it by themselves. Because, let's be real. The ‘Wailing’ Hashira, training? Laughable, absolutely and utterly laughable. That boy loathed it with a passion! He hated it almost as much as he hated fighting demons.
And yet, for a straight week, the blond had been spotted in the training grounds, taking out his anger and his frustrations on the poor, lifeless, wooden targets that did nothing other than exist. And if he wasn’t there, then he was out on missions or on patrols. It came to a point that there were remains of several practice swords on the ground from his sheer strength. It was a shocking sight to see, not even mentioning how odd it was. Something that Kanae hadn't grown used to.
“Now that I think about it, Agatsuma has been all day on the training grounds.” Iguro-san had said without much thought to it while the former Hashira dedicated her focus to bandaging Rengoku-san's arm “I’m beginning to worry about him.”
“It's admirable how dedicated he is! But it is also very worrisome! He was there all day, and if he’s not, then he’s out on a mission!” the Flame Hashira nodded, his voice as loud as ever. Kanae didn’t even flinch, having grown used to it. But still. Agatsuma-kun, training all day? That was… odd.
“Did you see what he was doing?” she inquired.
“He was hitting the wooden targets as if he had some sort of grudge with them.” Iguro-san informed, Rengoku-san nodding in confirmation. Kanae's gaze narrowed. Was Agatsuma-kun… angry? Had something happened to him?
“I see…” she mumbled, more to herself than to the others. She'd have to see it for herself.
Kanae watched Agatsuma tear through the wooden targets, his movements were precise, and fluid, yet driven with nothing but utter rage. She stood to the side, avoiding entering the area incase something flew at her. Kanao was by her side, staring at the blond with a curious glint. They were both staring, and Kanae was worried about him.
He leaped and hit another wooden target, his practice sword snapping in half as he landed on the floor. He breathed heavily, sweat rolling down his face. “Haah… Haah…” he panted, raising an arm up and wiping off the sweat pooling around his forehead, brushing off his bangs. He looked utterly exhausted. He was pushing himself to his limits. No, not just that. He was going farther beyond.
In a way, Kanae thought back to Shinazugawa, the way how Kumeno told her once he’d push himself to his limits and more before he met him. Her heart ached at the memory. ‘Kumeno…’ she thought before shaking the thought off of her head.
“Kocho-sama, Tsuyuri-san. I know you’re there.” Agatsuma spoke, turning his head to where they were. Kanae flinched. His open eye looked so dull, and he had bags under his eyes. He looked older than he should be.
“Agatsuma-kun, hello. Did we disturb your training?” she asked, trying her best to not sound startled. He tiredly shook his head, the movement slow and sluggish. Kanae frowned.
“No. I was just stopping for a moment. Get some breathing.” he commented. The ex-Hashira just nodded, walking over to him.
“Maybe you should take a break from all that training? I've heard from Iguro-san and Rengoku-san that you’ve been all day in the training grounds.” she suggested. He let out a soft, hollow laugh at her words. It wasn’t mocking, but Kanae could tell that he didn’t want to stop.
“I appreciate the worry, Kocho-sama. But I’m okay. I just need a second or two to regain myself.” he assured her, but she didn’t buy it, not one bit. He could pass out from this. He was exhausting himself. Kanao approached as well, taking out her coin and flipping it. It landed on her palm, revealing it had landed on heads.
“You’ll pass out if you keep going.” the younger girl spoke, her tone quiet. Agatsuma turned to her, a bit surprised. Kanae nodded in agreement.
“You’re pushing yourself past your limits, Agatsuma-kun. You have to take a break, or else you’ll damage your body.” the ex-Hashira told him. The blond stared for a moment, before sighing.
“I suppose you have a point…” he mumbled, dropping the practice sword in its place before walking back over to them. Kanae smiled softly, although her brows furrowed at his slow and sluggish movements.
“Come on! I’m sure your hungry.”
Kocho-sama’s food was always delicious. Zenitsu sat next to Tsuyuri, eating slowly as to not choke, but also to not let them see how famished he was. Every day he would take a bento Kanemoto-san made for him, but he would barely eat if it he got more training in. Shinobu-san was nearby, focused on helping some injured slayers that came back from a mission. “Is it good?” Kocho-sama asked. He nodded, making a mental note to thank Iguro-sama and Rengoku-sama later for telling Kocho-sama about his training.
“Mhm. Thank you.” he mumbled, mouth filled with food. Kocho-sama smiled at that.
“I’m glad.” Tsuyuri stared at him for a few seconds before she took her coin, flipping it again. The sound resonated in Zenitsu’s ears for a second as the coin flipped and flipped in the air. It landed on her palm again, but this time it was tails. He really needed to get her to stop using the coin. That, or just wait for Tanjiro to do so.
Tanjiro...
“Are you angry?” she asked. Zenitsu blinked, turning to her. So did Kocho-sama. She could tell?
“Kanao…” the ex-Hashira started, her tone wary. Almost as if she didn’t know what to do. Zenitsu could tell that Kocho-sama also wanted to know, but she didn’t want to intrude in his privacy. It was nice of her. But it was okay. He could tell them. To some degree, of course.
“Yes,” he answered, looking down at the water that filled his cup “I'm angry. I'm angry at myself.” There was a beat of silence that filled the room. It was a loud silence, tense. Not awkward. Tsuyuri's sounds sparked up with surprise and curiosity, while Kocho-sama's sounds slowed into a curious yet concerned rhythm.
“Angry at… yourself..?” the ex-Hashira repeated.
“I'm angry at myself. Because I can’t achieve the results I want. I'm not growing strong enough to live up to the title of a Hashira.” he said, his brows furrowed with frustration “It feels like I keep falling behind.” he sighed.
“Agatsuma-kun…”
“I know what you're going to say, Kocho-sama. That I'm not weak. But you don’t know how my mind truly works. And I'm not ready to show you, either.” he shook his head, his hair swaying slightly. Kocho-sama closed her mouth, her brows furrowed. Silence took over the room.
Zenitsu felt bad for being so harsh, but it was true. He wasn’t ready to unpack with anyone else who wasn’t Aoi what he truly thinks. It's something he would rather spare others from seeing. Spare others from knowing. It was a gruesome, heart wrenching, gut twisting knowledge. Something that'd make you want to scream in agony. Because who wouldn’t scream and cry when they witness their friends dying?
It was a future so gruesome, he'd never wish it upon his worst enemy. Unless we were talking about Kibutsuji Muzan. In that case, let the bastard rot.
The sound of Tsuyuri's coin resonated again. It spun in the air before Zenitsu's hand shot out, grabbing it and slamming it onto the back of his other hand. Tsuyuri blinked, surprised. “Ah..?” she let out as he lifted his hand, his skin slightly red as the coin was revealed to have landed not on heads or tails, but it landed upright. Kocho-sama's eyes widened.
“Eh?? That’s never happened before..!” she whispered.
“Sorry. But you shouldn’t rely on your coin so much.” he spoke “You have to follow your instincts and your heart. Not the choices a coin is helping you make.” he added before letting the item roll down his hand and onto her palm. She stared at him as he got up from his seat, her expression filled to the brim with surprise.
“Thank you for the meal.”
He would save them. He and Aoi would save everyone. He would make sure of it.