Archive of Our Own ^beta

If Michael had to pick a person he would like to fall in love with the least, it would probably be Gerard Keay. It wasn’t that the man was unattractive or anything — quite the opposite actually! He was very attractive. Almost too attractive.

Or maybe Michael just had a weird type. That was probably it.

But the thing was, Gerard was just the right kind of weird in a way that Michael suspected might get him killed if he were to get involved. If Gerard would even let him get involved. But worst of all, he was here. And if the gay panic Michael had when Gerard asked to come along on this (very boring, might he add) two-day business endeavor was anything to go off of, maybe he’d already made up his mind on falling for the man. Unfortunately, he’d probably made up his mind in the wrong direction, but that was a problem for Future-Michael.

Current-Michael was, sadly, sitting on the small hotel bed and twiddling his thumbs and bored out of his mind. It was too late to go out anywhere, but far too early to go to bed. Gerard was across the room, sitting on his own bed with his legs crossed. He busied himself by drawing something in a beaten up sketchbook whilst Michael flopped back down on the bed.

“Ugh,” he groaned loudly, lifting only his head to look at the man across from him. “I’m bored.”

Gerard looked over at him, humming softly. “All out of paperwork to do?” he chuckled. “Afraid these trips never offer much in form of entertainment.”

“Evidently,” Michael agreed with a sigh. “But I want to do something.”

He knew that, in theory, he could just do something on his phone to entertain himself. However, Candy Crush sounded so pathetic that it was almost worse than just calling it an early night and going to sleep. Really, he wanted to hang out with Gerard, despite not knowing the man all that well.

Though… if he really had already made up his mind about falling for Gerard Keay…

“Have you ever heard of 36 questions?”

Gerard put his sketchbook down and turned to face Michael properly, full attention now on him. He shook his head, looking mildly interested, which of course made Michael grin. “Nah. What is it?”

“It's this game,” Michael explained, shifting to sit on his knees, hands clasped in his lap as he leaned slightly forward. “Basically the premise is that the two players go back and forth answering a set of 36 questions that are specifically designed to make you- uh-” He paused. “Well, the question set says fall in love, but it's really just to gain the level of closeness one might have with a romantic partner. I'm not, you know, suggesting anything.” He chuckled nervously. That explanation probably could've gone better. Michael didn't even know if the man was gay, which—well, look at him. But still. Not to assume. “It's a fun way to pass time.”

Gerard's eyebrows went up a little as Michael explained, leaning a little closer too. The beds were a comfortable distance away, but with how small the room was it wasn't enough to constitute sitting on the same one. He seemed to hesitate a little, but nodded after a minute. Score. “Alright. Do you have the list on hand?”

“It's easy enough to look up,” Michael replied with a shrug, pulling out his phone and finding a website with the list. “Why don't you ask the first question so you can see how the game goes before you have to do it yourself?” He held out the phone. Clear phone case with Polaroids, and old movie tickets, and gum wrappers inside it and a couple pompoms hanging on a chain off the hole for the volume button.

Gerard accepted the phone, looking down at the list. He took a moment to look over the questions, then scrolled back up to the top. “Okay. Uhm- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” he read out, then lo0ked back up at Michael.

“Emily Dickinson,” Michael answered. “I just really love her poems. Plus I want to know if she was actually queer. And I just love poetry.” He was beginning to ramble. “A-anyway, uh, what about you?”

Gerard nodded at Michael's answer, thinking for a second before giving his own. “Jurgen Leitner. I think it would be just lovely to meet him in person.” He grinned like they were both in on a joke of some kind.

Michael raised an eyebrow. Even though he didn’t know Gerard well, he’d heard the book collector’s name cursed enough times in passing to know his feelings on the man. “I thought you, like, hated him?” he asked, then laughed at the realization. “You just want to punch him, don't you?” He still felt like he was missing something, but didn't bother asking.

Gerard nodded at the first part like it was an explanation, laughing too when Michael got the joke. “Of course. No other reason to want the bastard there, I can tell you that much.”

Michael giggled. “Fair enough.” He shrugged, then turned his attention back to the question set, fidgeting with his fingers as he did. “Okay, uh… Would you want to be famous, and why or why not?” He did have to admit that Gerard looked like a classic emo singer, about which Michael wasn't quite sure how to feel. He couldn't decide whether it was hot or hilarious. He settled on frustratingly amusing.

Gerard shook his head almost immediately. “Absolutely not. Too much attention on me, too much pressure.” He grimaced a little at the thought. “You?”

“Couldn't agree with you more,” Michael sighed. “I don't like being the center of attention. At all. It just… makes me nervous. I'd rather be a side character in someone else's life, you know?”

“Why not be the main in your own?” Gerard tilted his head, amber eyes scanning Michael for a second before regret passed his face and he looked back down at the list as Michael just shrugged. He didn't have an answer to that question that didn't feel… pathetic. “Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?” He read out.

Michael laughed. “Oh all the time!” he admitted. “It's a combination of anxiety, social awkwardness, and even more anxiety. I'm no good at talking to people unless it's scripted. How about you?”

“You've been doing fine with me,” Gerard said, quite generously. “I don't rehearse, just going with the flow's easier. It works for me.” He shrugged, and Michael unintentionally mirrored it.

“Fair enough.” Michael looked at the list again, smiling at the question. This was always a nice one. “What would constitute a perfect day for you?”

Gerard took a moment to think. “Painting for the first part of the day, then going to a concert at night. I'd just appreciate some calm that could let me focus on my hobbies without worrying.” He hummed. “What would be yours?”

Michael winced. Ah. Right. He had definitely messed with that time to focus on hobbies, hadn't he? “Oh- um. I think it would start with a slow morning at home, listening to music, baking, then spending some time at the library. On my way home, I'd people-watch at the park, then at night I'd watch a movie at home, curled up with cocoa and a blanket. I think it sounds peaceful.”

Gerard's brows furrowed briefly and he nodded, seeming a little distracted. “It does.” He looked down at the list. “When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?” He still sounded slightly more distant than before.

“I mean… I sing in the shower all the time,” Michael laughed. “You heard me earlier this evening.” He was still getting over that embarrassment.

“I did, it was nice. You're not half bad.” Gerard shrugged. Michael just blushed and quickly kept speaking.

“Thanks- Uh, but I think that counts more as singing to myself, not someone else since it was quite unintentional. But the last time I intentionally sang to someone else… I really don't remember.” He paused, wondering whether to ask the question in return, or… “Are you alright?”

Gerard briefly tensed up at the question. “Yes, I'm fine. Let's keep going,” he said quickly. “Last time I sang to myself was yesterday while packing, and to someone else… never, probably. I don't recall. Ask me the next one.”

Michael frowned, but took the very clear instruction and moved on to the next question. “If you lived to 90, would you rather retain the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life?”

“Mind,” Gerard replied without hesitation. “A body of that age is useful, sure, but losing the sharpness of your thinking is worse than it starting to give out.” He hummed. “I suspect Gertie had that choice and made it-” he mumbled with a soft chuckle. Michael raised an eyebrow. “Which would you pick?”

“Mind too,” Michael agreed. “I just… really hate the idea of losing myself.” He grimaced. “I need to know that what I see is correct. If I start to forget what's real or lose my mental functions…” His eyes pinched tight for a moment with how roughly he shook his head, trying to get the thought out by physically shaking it out. “I don't like it.” Understatement of the century, but they didn't need to talk about that.

In the brief moment Michael had his eyes closed Gerard leaned a bit closer and lower, head slightly tilted to study the other's face. He looked… concerned. “I don't think you will,” he said, sounding gentler than before.

Michael shrugged, downturned and a bit noncommittal. “I don't know…” He sighed, swallowed the lump in his throat, then looked back up at Gerard. “It's fine, really. You can keep going.”

Gerard nodded reluctantly, leaning back again. “If you say so.” He glanced at the questions. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

Michael was pretty sure that “eaten by a paranormal door” wasn’t an acceptable answer to that question, and also probably a stupid one because he knew that wasn’t real. It didn’t make sense, and things had to make sense to be real. Theoretically, of course. Instead, he just replied, “I work for The Magnus Institute, don’t I?”

Gerard winced, nodding. “Yeah… that's a reasonable guess. Same for me, I'll get eaten by a book or some shit like that. Not a lot of career choices in the field, huh?” He laughed softly, though it sounded a little bitter, and Michael matched it.

“No,” he sighed. “There really aren’t. We’re all idiots. Trying to get close to something best left alone.”

Michael blinked tightly, then looked back at the list on his phone. That topic was probably best left alone, too, though all things considered, he was pretty certain it wouldn’t be for long. Another problem for Future-Michael.

“Moving on! Name three things we have in common.” Michael chuckled. “There’s at least one obvious answer here.”

Gerard looked Michael over, nodding knowingly. “Okay… we both have long hair, we both are involved with the Big Bad Institute-” Michael chuckled. “-and we both…” He paused for a moment. “We're both queer. That should do it, your turn.” He shrugged.

Alright, so Gerard was queer. Not that the confirmation was really needed, considering… well… everything, but it was still nice to know for sure. He hummed in thought for a moment. “Well, we both have very specific senses of style,” Michael started. And it was true, even if his was completely opposite Gerard’s, more pastels and cardigans than black and leather. The goth nodded. “We both really enjoy music, and…” He looked up at the ceiling as if that would help him think. A common habit. “Oh, and we both like to draw! I don’t do it quite as well as you, or as frequently, but it’s still a mutual interest.”

“Huh- don't think I've ever seen your drawings,” Gerard hummed. Michael nodded sheepishly; however, he did know that the other wasn't too open about his art either, though he had shown it a couple times when asked. “Alright, next one-For what in your life do you feel most grateful?”

Michael thought about that one for a minute. “My apartment, I think,” he finally answered. “It’s cozy, you know? And it’s a place where I actually feel safe, it’s my own space, and it’s consistent.”

“Reasonable.” Gerard nodded, answering once it was safe to assume Michael stopped talking. “I feel grateful for…” He stopped, tapping his fingers. “Getting a chance to have my own life. It was unreachable to me for too long, and now I'm truly independent.”

Michael’s expression softened into a smile at Gerard’s answer. “That’s really nice. I’m happy for you, getting to experience that freedom.” Michael had always had freedom, a little too much of it even, so he couldn’t even begin to comprehend how hard it must have been for the person he really hoped he could one day call a friend. “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?” That seemed to fit in well with the previous answer…

Gerard barked out a short laugh, bitter. He shook his head, looking away. “What wouldn't I change?” He smiled sadly, pushing his hair back. “Everything. I'd just like to have a pair of regular parents and a regular, boring life. It would be better than anything my mum ever did.” He said that with such a deep hurt in his voice, and Michael could have cried hearing it. “...you?

“I’m so sorry.” Michael knew how little sorries did. They were just words. But still. They felt better than being unheard. Gerard just nodded silently, so it was hard to tell how much that did. “As for me… I don’t really know.” That was only partially true. “It’s… hard to pinpoint specifics. I had really bad anxiety as a kid. Overactive imagination. That’s what everyone called it. I wish I hadn’t struggled so much with it, if that makes sense.”

None of Michael’s story was false, but it may not have been the whole truth. Ryan’s disappearance had sparked the anxiety, which he knew. Beyond that, though, nothing was certain. Everyone had a different story. Many claimed that Michael’s best friend had never existed to begin with. He didn’t even know if he made the whole thing up. All he knew was how real it felt… He sighed and shook his head.

“I guess we both just wanted to be normal.”

Gerard nodded solemnly, looking down. His usual laid back demeanor was gone, leaving something more genuine exposed. “Yeah… I'm sorry too. It sucks that you went through that.” He sighed, just going silent for a minute.

He seemed to shake off the mood after a while, redirecting himself back to the questions. “Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.” He read out.
Michael winced. Of course he’d forgotten about that question. Maybe this game was a bad idea… No, it was too late to back out now. He’d done this to get to know Gerard, so he was going to let the man get to know him as well. And if he glossed over some details… Well, who would know?

“Okay, here goes-” He took a deep breath. “I’m from Ealing originally. It was… a fine place to grow up, I guess. I never really had a lot of supervision, which a lot of people think sounds super great and super fun, but it wasn’t. Got into loads of trouble, but never reprimanded. Took a while to learn basic safety. I went to my local school, but didn’t talk to that many people, except…” Michael sighed. “Except Ryan, who I’m not even sure was real. He went missing when we were just kids. I saw it happen, or I think I did. Kids make things up all the time, though, so maybe I didn’t. I don’t know. The story doesn’t make enough sense to be real.” He shook off the thoughts, remembering finally why he was talking. Gerard frowned, but didn't say anything. “Right, anyway- After that I got pretty bad anxiety. Don’t remember most of my childhood, to be honest, so sorry if my story isn’t the most informative.

“Anyway, I eventually went to uni at City, which was what brought me to London proper. I mostly kept to myself, and after four years ended up with a masters degree in history. I started working for The Magnus Institute fresh out of university. It was supposed to just be for a few years while I got my life together. Enough time to learn about all the things I used to see… think I was seeing,” he corrected. “But I never really found it in myself to leave. Maybe it’s just that I never got answers to my made-up question, or maybe I actually like the monotony. I don’t know. The job can be fun sometimes, though, so here I still am. I’d say that pretty much brings us to today.”

Gerard looked like he was chewing on his words before finally speaking after almost a minute. “I'm sorry that happened to you.” That… didn't sound like it was just referring to the childhood part.

Michael just shook his head. “It’s fine. Better now.” Even though his heart rate still spiked every time he touched a doorknob. “Your turn.”

“Alright. I never knew my dad, he died when I was two or so and my mum was the one that raised me. We moved around a lot, the only set point was her bookshop in Morden,” he started, his eyes gaining a slightly distant look as he talked. “She homeschooled me, but focused more on her own teachings than what I could learn in a standard school. With how much we traveled I never made any friends, my mum was pretty much my only connection. I tried to run away a few times, but I always felt out of place in the world.” He was tapping his fingers again.

“I spent a lot of my teenage years hunting down Leitners for my mum, then once our relationship went bad I kept going but started destroying them instead. Then…” He stopped for a moment, just gathering himself. “Then her ritual went wrong and I got arrested for her murder. I spent a while in jail, and it was the calmest part of my life so far.” He sighed. “Then they let me out, and I started working with Gertrude. I'm still on the hunt.” He shrugged, looking back up at Michael, who was looking at him frightened.

“Gerard… That’s horrible. I… don’t really know what to say besides sorry. You deserve better than that. You deserved better than… all of that.” Michael sighed. “Moving on?”

The emotions on Gerard's face shifted from bitter disappointment to surprise at the way Michael reacted. He nodded slowly. “Moving on… ask me the next one.”

Michael nodded back in both understanding and agreement. “Of course. If you could wake up tomorrow with one quality or ability, what would it be?”

Gerard thought for a moment, looking around. “Hm… probably invisibility. Would make my job a lot easier, for sure… what would be your choice?”

“I'd like to be all-knowing, I think,” Michael answered. Gerard glanced to the side with slightly wide eyes. “I think it would be nice to just be able to know everything. I always feel so clueless all the time, like everything would make sense if I just had one more piece of information, so it would help.”

Gerard shook his head lightly. “That wouldn't be that great of a power to have. You can easily drown in it,” he said, sounding far more serious than it made sense for him to. “Uhm, right- set two. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“What happened to Ryan,” Michael answered without hesitation. He sighed. “I just- I need to know. I need things to make sense. What about you?”

Gerard's brows furrowed and he closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them with an unsettled look passing his face. He didn't actually say anything, poorly hiding the expression by pushing his hair back. “If things will ever get actually good.” Michael frowned, but didn’t have the chance to speak before Gerard continued. “Ask me the next one.”

“Right- Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time, and is there a reason you haven’t done it yet?” Michael asked, mind still catching up. He wished he could do something more for Gerard. Make things good.

“I've… I've never been to an aquarium before. Never really had a reason to, but I think it could be pleasant.” Gerard shrugged. “What about you?”

Michael hummed. “Aquariums are nice. If we finish up work early enough we could go to one tomorrow.” It was a bit more of a passing thought than an actual suggestion, but Michael knew he certainly wouldn’t be opposed if he happened to get an outing out of this.

Gerard nodded, the corners of his black lips tugging upwards. “I'd like that.”

“Okay, this is going to sound really random and maybe a little silly, but I’ve always wanted to make macarons. I love baking, I do it all the time, but I’ve never managed to try those because they just scare me! They’re apparently really hard.”

“Oh, yeah, I heard that too. I think they're worth a try? Apparently they're very good,” Gerard hummed. “And hey-” He leaned a little closer. “If you do make them, give me a taste, would you?” he requested with a playful smile, which Michael thought just removed any and all hesitation he had about making them. The atmosphere was loosening up a little.

Michael grinned. “Will do,” he promised. And if he made a hundred batches before getting them right just for the sake of making him something, Gerard didn’t have to know that. “Next question!”

“Thank you.” Gerard smiled, nodding and looking at the phone. “What is the greatest accomplishment in your life?”

“Is it bad if I say that it’s my Animal Crossing: New Leaf save?” Michael laughed. It was mostly a joke, though he had racked up nearly five hundred hours on the game. Which admittedly said a lot about his social life. But it made Gerard chuckle too. “More serious answer, though, I’m really proud of my academic achievements. I know I don’t really work at the highest-esteemed place in the academia world, but I got a lot further and did a lot more than my ten-year-old self would’ve expected. I mean- I have a stable job, I get to travel fairly regularly, it’s… It’s not the most glamorous life, but I worked really hard for it.”

Gerard nodded. “It is an achievement, it's good you're aware of it,” he hummed. “Mine is… becoming independent, again. I went through a lot of shit for it, and now I can be stable on my own. It's a big thing.”

Michael smiled. “That’s really good,” he agreed. “I’m really happy for you. Obviously I don’t know even close to the half of it, but still. You deserve your freedom. Next question, what do you value the most in a friendship?”

“Honesty and reliability,” Gerard answered without hesitation. “I need to feel like I can trust the other person, you know?” He wrapped a strand of hair around his finger absentmindedly. “What about you?”

Michael shrugged. “Trust. It means a lot to me being able to actually feel like I can speak openly with a friend. So pretty similar, I think.”

“Definitely similar.” Gerard nodded, looking at the list. “Question seventeen- what is your most treasured memory?”

“When I was a kid, my mum and I did this thing once every few months where we'd go get ice cream before dinner,” Michael giggled, recalling the memory with a faint smile. “I was never the biggest ice cream fan, but it was really special when we did it. Completely spontaneous, too. Always a treat. How about you?”

Gerard thought for a moment. “I'd say my first concert. I was around thirteen or fourteen when I snuck out to go, I stole some money from the shop and paid for a bus. I don't even remember who was playing, honestly.” He chuckled. “But it was just- it was so nice to fit in there. My makeup sucked, but I still felt like I belonged there and it was the most fun I'd ever had up to then.”

“Oh my god,” Michael cooed. “That sounds absolutely precious, first of all, and also really fun!” He looked back at the question set and grimaced. “Ah. Next question, worst memory?”

***

Maybe, just maybe, this was a very bad idea.

The night was starting out okay with the game, but it seemed like Gerry didn't look through the questions quite as carefully as he probably should've. He missed this one.

How to answer? He'd basically made up his mind about telling Michael everything about the fears, the man's ignorance while being Gertrude's assistant was frankly startling, but that wouldn't be an excuse to tell him… any of these experiences. Not the men who spoke in flames, nor the crawling creatures of pure shadow, nor the twisting, nonsensical corridors that he Knew took Ryan away. Not right now.

But the silence was growing, and he started to realize he'd been silent for over a minute now.

And so, he went into “safe” territory. Michael had to hear about this one on the news, at least.

“The day my mum's ritual failed,” he said, voice coming out quieter than he'd like it to. “I got home, and there was just so much blood- she was partially skinned and still trying, she kept yelling at me to help her and I just couldn't. I ran out and everything became a blur, then the next time I could think clearly I was being arrested-” He let go of his hair, realizing he'd been gripping it. Christ, he needed a cigarette once this was over. “...what's yours?”

Michael didn’t respond yet, his mouth having fallen open at some point during the story in what looked like either shock or pure horror. So maybe he didn't know. “Gerard, I-” He bit his lip, seeming to hesitate before blurting out, “Do you need a hug?” His eyes then shot open. “Sorry- that’s not- …Are we enough past the point of professionalism for me to ask that?”

Gerry froze. After keeping everyone at arm's length for his entire adult life he hardly remembered what a proper embrace felt like from way back when he got one at a concert. He'd avoided human touch for so long, he was sure he'd burst into flames if he took Michael up on his offer.

But he so, so wanted to. Maybe it could fix at least something, even if that was just relieving the stuttering man of some stress that came with asking that. And just for the sake of comforting Gerry! That on its own sounded absurd, and he couldn't waste this opportunity. People’s sympathy for him always ran out quickly.

“I don't know,” he admitted, unfolding himself from his seat. “But… please.” He said that part quieter, almost embarrassed by it as he moved over to Michael's bed to sit next to him.

Michael gave a genuine relieved smile before leaning on Gerry and wrapping his arms around his conversation partner. He was… bony, but not altogether uncomfortable, and melted into Gerry pretty quickly.

Gerry hugged him back, a little unsure at first but quickly placing his arms right enough. This all felt so very odd, and every bit of contact felt like fire itching his skin from inside, but he couldn't help but relax into it too. It was… comforting. He didn't really want to pull away, he didn't know how long this should last, or how long until the tears pricking his eyes would fall, so he just trusted Michael to pull away first instead.

That, however, took a bit longer than may have been expected, though eventually he finally did move. He didn’t go far, though, and the contact between them didn’t break as Michael’s arm remained brushing Gerry’s. “Haha, sorry,” he chuckled sheepishly. “I guess I needed that a bit more than I thought I did too. Sorry if that was, like, too much or anything.”

“No, no, it's- it's okay, really.” Gerry reassured, waving his hands a little. “Thank you.” He had to break the slight contact, he couldn't stand their arms touching this long, but didn't move further than necessary nor go back onto his bed. “Are you ready to answer the question now too?” He asked, gently.

Michael frowned. “Right,” he sighed. “That.” He paused for a second, closing his eyes before being able to answer. “I think there's a pretty obvious answer, from all I've said. The day Ryan disappeared… It sort of sparked my entire life path, but I’d do anything to have not had it happen. I don’t know what I saw, or if I even saw anything. False memories are a thing. Don’t know if that counts toward the question, really, but everything else kind of pales in comparison.”

It's a real memory, Gerry wanted to say. But no, this was not the time. It would be too much at once. “I'm sorry. It's a horrible thing to have happen to you,” he just said instead, internally cursing himself. He opened his arms for another hug, looking back at Michael with an unsure smile. It only felt right to offer, and if it could comfort the man even a bit… well, it was worth it.

Michael instantly accepted the offer, melting into Gerry momentarily. “Thank you,” he mumbled with a sigh. “Really. Most people don't believe me, so- thank you.”

“I do. Don't mention it, yeah?” Gerry rubbed Michael's back soothingly, giving him a weak smile once the embrace was broken. “Are you ready for the next one?”

Michael just nodded, taking a deep breath to center himself. “Yeah. Go ahead, ask me the next question.”

“Okay.” Gerry checked the list. “If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?”

“I think…” Michael paused for a second, considering the question. “I think I'd live a little more recklessly. I'm always so hesitant and careful, but if I knew I only had a year left, I'd like to give myself the chance to just… do things. Be spontaneous. What about you?”

Gerry tapped his lips, humming. “I think I'd be calmer, actually. Try to enjoy the bit of life I'd have left, stop running for a moment.” As much as he could, anyway. “Opposites, huh?” It sounded like they could give each other what they wanted, granted that connection would ever properly form. If he'd let it.

Michael actually smiled at that. “Yeah, that’s true,” he chuckled. “Good balance.” He kept his eyes trained on Gerry’s for a moment with that sweet, soft look before realizing it was his turn to speak. “Ah-right, questions- uh-” Michael stuttered, his peachy freckles becoming less visible as his cheeks flushed pink. Adorable. “What does friendship mean to you?”

“A lot. It's having a safe space, someone I can trust when everything else goes bad. Someone I can feel at ease with and wouldn't mind hearing talking about whatever because I just like them,” Gerry hummed. He didn't really have that, not quite, but he imagined it would be nice. “What about you?”

Michael's expression softened. “Yeah, I agree. Just… having the ability to be close to someone would be really nice. Not feel lonely, even when I'm not very interesting to be around.” His expression was almost wistful. Gerry didn't like how sure of that he sounded.

“Not true,” he protested, brows furrowing a little as he shook his head. “You've been… rather lovely company, really.” Maybe he just didn't need much, but he really couldn't complain about Michael's presence. He wouldn't call it boring.

Michael just frowned. “If you say so.” Before Gerry even had a chance to interject or contradict, he continued on, his tone almost urgent. “A-anyway, moving on, next one!”

Gerry wanted to argue, but it was pretty clear Michael didn't want to talk about this right now. Maybe later… “Next one…” Michael looked relieved. “What roles do love and affection play in your life?”

Michael cursed under his breath. “Lord, isn’t that almost the same question?” he muttered, then sighed and spoke up. He made eye contact… sort of. Though his mind was clearly elsewhere, perhaps dwelling on the last question, or maybe thinking about how to avoid elaborating on his answer to it with this one. “Not as many as I’d like them to.” He sounded almost ashamed by the admission, and Gerry could feel the tone squeezing his heart.. “I mean- I have friends! Or- I’m sure I could… probably make some. But that’s not-” He shook his head. “I’m rambling, sorry! What I mean to say is, I want more of it than I have. It motivates me, but its actual presence… I dunno.”

Gerry listened, not minding the unfocused gaze as his was very similar. He wasn't sure how to say he knew love by all the things it was not, like a negative photo. He knew it through it's absence in his life, the void it should be filling. He thought Michael's would be different, but… well, with every question it was becoming more and more obvious that he had lots of false preconceptions about the man.

“I'm sorry.” That was all that he could think of to say once Michael finished. He was quiet for a moment before answering too. “They never got to play a role. I'm sure it'd be a good one, but… yeah. Not a lot of chances until recently, and even now I mostly travel alone.” He shrugged. That wasn't quite cutting it… he didn't like the look on Michael's face when he talked about the insufficiency of it in his life. “...I did like the hugs,” he admitted after a break, somewhat embarrassed.

Michael actually lit up at that. It wasn’t his typical over-the-top shift in body language that he tended to project. Instead it was smaller, though the upturn of his lips and the way his posture straightened ever so slightly made it almost more genuine. “Oh- really?” His cheeks were a little pink. Admittedly, they tended to be rosy, but his freckles stood out more with the way he flushed this time. Adorable, really. “Well, so did I. The offer’s always open.” Then, he hurried, “When- when you want it, of course!”

“Thank you.” Gerry nodded, slightly amused by Michael’s wording. He doubted it could ever be any other way, but he appreciated knowing he wouldn't be surprised by a hug. He didn't want to hurt Michael if startled. “You can ask for them whenever you need too. Or just want, really. I'd be happy to bring a little more into your life.” He really would, which honestly felt a little odd. New for sure.

At first, Michael didn’t look convinced. He gave Gerry a bit of a hesitant look, but must have found something in his expression that indicated truth, because he smiled. “Thank you.”
“Right, the game- it's your turn to ask.”

Michael laughed, something that could have been embarrassed, though seemed a little more flustered. Less negative. “Ah, right-” He looked at the phone and read, “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. Aw, this one’s sweet!”

“It is.” Gerry agreed, though he didn't really envy Michael the task of finding five. He was probably going to struggle too, but his job was still easier here. “Alright, first one- you always try to help people out, which is quite kind.” He smiled softly.

Michael smiled, and his blush did anything but settle. “Aw, thank you- I think you’re very interesting to talk to. You’re good company.”

Gerry was a little surprised to hear that. He bowed his head in silent thanks, easily finding the next compliment. “You're very sweet.” It was a little bare, but definitely true.

“You’re considerate,” Michael replied. “I feel like you understand and accommodate me when we talk, and it’s pleasant.”

“You're diligent at work. You memorize a lot of stuff and it's honestly pretty damn impressive how quickly you can find files.” Gerry recalled how helpful Michael was every time he came to the archives after a specific statement. Stuttery and shaky, yes, but still capable of finding the requested information with surprising speed despite the nonsensical filing system.

Michael beamed. “Aw, you think?” He appeared quite proud of himself for that one. Score. “Well on a similar topic, you’re very knowledgeable about a lot of things, but you don’t talk down or think you’re above anyone for it.” Unfortunately most people did, when it came to the staff of the Institute.

“You're curious and always down to learn more, even if the knowledge is hard to get.” Gerry was becoming more and more convinced that he had to tell Michael. Not everything, not all at once, but it was unsafe for him to be so oblivious while working where he did.

“You’re very nice to me.” Michael fiddled with his hands. “Just- in general. I don’t feel judged, just… enjoyed, I suppose? Like I’m not being annoying just by being in the room.”

“You aren't, I like you,” Gerry reassured, just in case it was needed. “Sorry, I think this is the only round where superficial compliments are allowed so I'll just get it out now- I adore your hair, it fits you so well.” He'd caught himself staring more than a few times in the past, whether it was loose or tied up. It had such a lovely shape to it, he just wanted to stay around long enough to draw Michael and capture it.

Michael didn’t appear put off by the superficial nature of Gerry’s words. If anything, he looked positively delighted. Thank God. “Oh, thank you! I’m quite proud of it- Well, I guess for my last one I’d have to say that you’re…” He paused. “I can’t think of the right word, but- when I’m wasting time with you, it doesn’t feel like wasted time. You know?”

“Oh.” Gerry exhaled softly, looking away when he felt like the eye contact became a little much. He was fighting the big smile trying to appear on his lips, struggling to keep it contained. That was a new one. “Thank you.” He said with an appreciative nod, hesitantly reaching up to tap Michael's shoulder. He regretted that near immediately and awkwardly took his hand back. “Right, um- next one. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?” He winced upon understanding the question.

Michael similarly grimaced. “Ugh. No,” he answered. “My mum… she was struggling with her own issues. Didn’t have a ton of time. Like I said before, no supervision. That plus everything with Ryan… Yeah, I didn’t have a great time of being a kid. You?”

Gerry nodded sadly. “No, I don't think mine was very good either.” Both sucked, they both already understood that well enough. No use dwelling on it. “Ask me the next one.” He prompted, trying to cut things short here.

The next question was, of course, no better, and Michael made a sympathetic expression as he asked, “Uh- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?”

Gerry gave a very blank stare at this. “Can you… guess?” He asked, attempting a joke. It fell flat. “I wish it was better, but that would require her to be a completely different person.” He huffed, keeping his eyes away. “You?”

Michael just frowned. “Definitely not worse than yours,” he said. “Mary was…” His face said everything it had to. “A-anyway, uh- Like I said, my mum had other concerns.” He shrugged it off. “The kid she had at eighteen was the least of them and it showed. But it’s fine.”

Gerry nodded grimly, his frown not softening as Michael moved on to his side of things. “It's still bad, and I'm sorry.” He sighed, looking down at the list. “Make three true ‘we’ statements each. For instance, ‘We are both in this room feeling…’- this is basically a repeat of one of the first ones, but sure. It's nicer, at least.” He shrugged.

“Right- Um,” Michael started, still seeming a bit flustered from the previous question. “Well to start with, we’re both feeling a bit called out by the question set.” Gerry snorted. “We both think the other is pleasant to be around, and… Is it too harsh to just say we both have mommy issues?” It was a shaky attempt at a joke, and he followed it with one of the most awkward smiles Gerry had ever seen. Still, it was somewhat endearing.

Gerry shook his head, a smile already making its way back onto his face. Michael’s expression shifted to mirror it. “No, I think it's quite on point, actually. I agree with all of these.” He chuckled. “Alright… we both need more affection in our lives, we both are caught up in the paranormal shit in a way that changed our lives and we both draw sometimes.” He recalled that from earlier.

Michael nodded along. “All very true,” he admitted, then looked down at his phone. “Alright, next one- complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share…’” He turned back to Gerry.

“That's an interesting one.” Gerry hummed, considering his options. “My bed. Not in a sexual way, just- having someone trustworthy nearby while I sleep. It'd feel a lot safer, and if I'm comfortable enough to sleep around them, then they're probably worth protecting too. That'd make it easier.” He shrugged. It all tied back to that lack of affection.

Michael's expression nearly melted at that. “Aw, that's so sweet,” he noted. “I hope you're able to sleep well tonight, then.” Gerry felt his face heat up a little. He didn't think about that. Thankfully, Michael had more to say. “I think my answer would be quiet moments. I like spending time just quietly reading, or watching television, or listening to music. It'd be nice to have someone to be next to.”

“Yeah, that sounds… that sounds lovely too.” Gerry agreed. He didn't get many breaks, but getting to spend at least some of them in company didn't sound half bad. He brought himself back to the ground quickly, not wanting to think about it too much right now. It wasn't reality.

“If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for them to know.” He read out, looking back up at Michael afterwards.

Michael thought for a minute. His eyes unfocused as he did, teeth worrying over his bottom lip, a clear nervous habit that even his skin showed signs of. Gerry almost felt compelled to reach over and stop him, but it might've been a bit too much. “I guess- If we were to get closer, you should know that I’m not always this…” He hesitated. “Positive. Not that my answers to a lot of this have been positive! But just in general. At work I act like I’m just happy and innocent and sweet, but… I can’t always be like that, you know? And people tend to assume I am.”

“I don't think anyone can stay upbeat all the time, Michael.” Gerry shook his head, giving him a reassuring smile. It was hard to tell if it helped. “It's alright. Very human, for sure.” At that, at least, Michael gave a small smile. He tapped his fingers, trying to formulate his own answer.

“I can get… jumpy. I'm on edge a lot, living in constant danger does that, so I don't take very well to surprises or getting startled,” Gerry admitted. “I get rash if I don't sleep well, and I smoke. You probably already knew that, but I know it's an issue for some people.” He shrugged. Michael mirrored the action.

“Fair enough,” he replied. “Next one: tell your partner what you like about them. Be very honest and say things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.”

“This game's rather desperate to make us compliment each other, huh?” Gerry chuckled, looking over Michael briefly. Michael just nodded in agreement, laughing quietly. “You're fascinating. The longer we talk the less I feel I actually know you, and I want to keep going until there's nothing hidden anymore. I know there's more wonders to be found.” The words did sound a little odd, but he was just letting them fall, and if Michael was unsettled by them he didn’t show it. He simply looked happy. Gerry’s voice was tinged with admiration he didn't know he was even capable of. It felt new, but it was all true.

Michael’s tone was not dissimilar to Gerry’s. “You’re safe,” he said simply, then stopped. Just when it seemed like he wasn’t going to say any more, he continued. “I’m not scared to be myself when I’m talking to you, and it just feels…” he took a moment to find the word only to settle on, “good. It feels good interacting with you, and you make me not want to hide things away.” All the nervousness on his face was gone, his stutter nowhere to be found. He meant these words wholly and truly, it was clear. That didn’t waver, either, after he finished speaking, and he fell into silence with a vision of a smile on his lips.

Gerry was silent for a moment, just trying to pull his emotions back to himself. “Thank you. I think… I think we'll be quite alright, then.” He finally said with a smile, letting the bits of pleasant warmth settle in his chest. He took a few breaths, checking the list. “Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.”

Michael made a face. “Eugh, really?” he groaned, though his shoulders shook with silent laughter. “Really testing us on this one- okay. Um.” He chuckled. “I feel like there are too many to choose from, I embarrass myself on the daily. Let's see…” He trailed off, letting himself think. “Oh! When I interviewed to work at the Magnus Institute, I was so nervous going into the interview and my thoughts were so jumbled that I forgot Mr. Bouchard's name and accidentally called him Mr. Douchard? And didn't realize what a rude pun I'd made of his name, so got confused when he gave me that blank look of his?” Gerry was struggling to hold his laughter in. “It took me until ten minutes into the interview to even realize, and I stopped to apologize halfway through answering a question.” Michael laughed harder, though clearly flustered. “That embarrassing enough?”

Gerry burst out laughing, nodding jerkily. “Yeah- but that's a good one. I'm going to use that nickname now.” He grinned. He didn't mind the soft moment earlier, but humor was certainly easier.

“Okay, my turn… It happened about a year ago. I was pretty exhausted and sleep deprived, just thinking about getting back home after a tip about a Leitner turned out to be a fluke. I went into the first taxi I saw, gave my address and basically passed out in the back. The guy woke me up after a while and said we were there, but when I tried to pay him I realized this wasn't a taxi.” He covered his face just remembering the memory, shaking his head. “I got pretty lucky, but still- terrible, just terrible.” He laughed, and Michael grimaced through laughter.

“Oh, that sounds so awkward!” he giggled, covering his face in a failed attempt to hide how red his cheeks were from the secondhand embarrassment. “Okay, uh- when did you last cry in front of another person, and by yourself?”

No more good mood. “We're being taken on an emotional rollercoaster.” Michael nodded, and Gerry hummed, wincing a bit when he thought about the answer. “I got crying in front of people beaten out of me around six, so probably sometime then.” Michael frowned. “And to myself…” He paused. “Last week, after a bad dream.” Even all those years later he still never let himself cry loud, always just muffled sobs and quiet breaths until he pulled himself together. “You?”

“I’m so sorry, Gerard,” Michael sighed. “I know it doesn’t change anything, but… you didn’t deserve what happened to you. What she did to you.” He didn’t give Gerry a chance to answer, probably intentionally, and he continued. “I mean, I cry a lot so I don’t really keep track. I also don’t like to cry in front of people when I’m sad, but apparently I’m a really emotional drunk, and Sarah insists that I spent fifteen minutes crying over a picture of her cat when we went out for drinks last Friday. As for crying alone… last night. I couldn’t get my duffle to close and got emotional. It doesn’t take much to bring me to tears, clearly!” He laughed.

Gerry chuckled lightly, relieved to have the topic changed from his childhood. “That's good, though. Crying's healthy.” He hummed, checking the next question. “Question thirty one, tell your partner something that you like about them already.”

“I mean, what’s not to like?” The reply was instant, which was more than a little surprising. “You’re thoughtful, you’re brave, you’re strong. If I had to pick one thing, though… you know when to trust someone and when to not. You aren’t trusting because you have reason not to be, but you help those who deserve it and you’ve not only trusted me today but also believed me. It’s a trait I respect just as much as I envy it. Is that a weird compliment?”

Gerry shook his head with a reassuring smile. It felt so warm to receive compliments like this. “Not at all. Thank you.” He tapped his fingers, looking back at Michael. “I like a lot about you, but if I'd have to pick something it'd probably be your intelligence. You're sweet and thoughtful and that's all great, but it's not much compared to how quickly and well you learn. You're creative, clever and think quick in new situations. It's quite a skill.” He smiled, and Michael beamed back.

“Aw- Thank you.” Michael looked back at the question set. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”

“Trauma that isn’t yours.” Gerry shrugged, stopping briefly. “And I don't mean your earlier comment about mommy issues here.” He wasn't sure if this was necessary, but Michael seemed like the sort to overthink. The reassurance felt better. “What do you think?”

“I agree,” Michael said. “Also just, like- things that aren't funny? A-and not in the way of, like, dumb jokes. Obviously. I just mean- if you make a joke and it hurts someone, you know?”

Gerry nodded. “Yeah, I know. I agree. Next one-” He glanced at the list, then looked properly once he realized it was a long one. “If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?” He read out.

Michael frowned. “Hmm… Well honestly, I don't really know many people. I think most of what I regret not saying is to people who are already gone, and most of it's not all that important or life changing. Just things I wish I'd said.”

“Mm- yeah, I get it.” Gerry sighed. “I don't think I have anyone to say anything to, and my mum-” Would he be able to say anything to her, were she still alive? She had a grip on him even after death, there was always something that stopped him from truly ripping into her. Affection he didn't want to hold anymore. “Anyway- ask me the next one.” He requested, trying to shake off the unwanted thought.

Michael, thankfully, didn't object. He just gave Gerry an understanding smile and moved on. “If your house caught fire and, after saving any living creatures, you've got a chance to go back for one possession, what are you grabbing?”

Gerry thought for a moment. “I don't know, maybe one of my paintings- no, no. I have a photo of my dad on my nightstand, I want that.” He still didn't allow himself much nice in his life, but that picture frame was special. He still remembered having to hide it.

Michael smiled at his answer. “That's really sweet. I think I'd probably grab… It might sound silly, but there was this book I liked as a kid? It was one of those short chapter books, kind of a Judy Blume knock-off, but I remember reading it over and over as a kid. I even did little annotations and drawings in it, and Ryan and I would sometimes pass notes. Some of them are still in there.”

“I don't think it's silly. It sounds like it's worth a lot.” Gerry said softly. “Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?” He grimaced once the question registered.

“Kind of a challenging question for someone who doesn’t have any.” Michael sighed. “Should I ask the next one?”

“Yes,” Gerry answered almost immediately, more than ready to move on.

Michael nodded. “Alright- last one: share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.”

“Oh, god.” Gerry sighed, pushing his hair back. “Give me a couple minutes, I'll need to think about this-” He requested, trying to sort through his issues to find something he could actually bring up here.

“Alright.” He decided after a moment. He'd have to be a little vague, since he hadn't told Michael about the fears yet and this was not the way he wanted to bring them up. “I've been thinking about settling down. It always feels like I'm running from or after something, always on edge and about as far from a ‘normal’ life as I can get. I've considered renting a nicer flat, taking up art full time, maybe even having a social life. I don't know how feasible it is, but… yeah.” He kept his eyes on his hands, messing with one of his rings.

Michael just smiled. “That sounds really nice.” It was clear from the softness in his tone and eyes that he meant it. “What’s stopping you from doing it?”

Gerry shrugged, a little surprised by Michael’s reaction. “I feel responsible for fixing things in the world. My mum did a lot of bad stuff, and I want my existence to at least be a net positive after all of that.” He sighed. “Also I’m… not very good at this. Relationships, or just-” He gestured vaguely, “being normal. I don’t know if I'd even do okay.”

“So?” It was quite a simple question. “No one’s good at being normal. That’s the joy of it, I think. And it’s no fun when you’re good at it anyway. But- you should be allowed to learn. You aren’t responsible for your mum’s actions. She was a shitty person, and you’re nothing like her. You’re sweet and kind and heroic.” Gerry scrunched up his nose at that slightly. He didn't know about heroic. “But you don’t always have to be brave. You can be a little selfish, too.” Michael sighed. “Look, regardless of what happens, no matter how much you do, there’s no fixing the world. It was broken before you got here, and it’ll continue to be broken once you’re gone. You’ve done a hell of a lot more good in it than most people, and that’s something to be proud of. But when you’re at the end of your life, whenever that may be, are you going to regret not enjoying the time you had?”

Gerry listened, finally looking up at Michael properly as he talked. He nodded slowly, just trying to take it all in. “Yeah, you're right… too much is fucked to fix, and… well, I really don't want to spend the rest of my life like this. Thank you. This- this is a big help, actually.” He bowed his head a little. He'd have much to think about later. “...mm, you have to reflect on my feelings now. Sorry.”

“I think you want to do it,” Michael answered easily. “You just also wanted someone to tell you to do it so it didn’t have to be your choice. If someone tells you to do it, it’s fine, but if you do it without prompting, you’re morally inferior.” The call-out was harsh, but not untrue. “I get it, though. I’m the same way. But if you want to live your life, you’re allowed to.”

Gerry looked away in embarrassment, nodding. It seemed like Michael saw right through him… it was relieving, though. Maybe this entire night was a small step towards that normalcy he wanted. “Sounds accurate… thank you.” He smiled, weak but genuine. Michael returned it. “Your turn.”

“Right-” Michael hummed in thought, the corners of his lips turning downward not in sadness but in contemplation. “I guess… I’ve been a little lost when it comes to my job. I guess I’m a bit directionless. I don’t have any friends because I’m so focused on my job and trying to learn, but I don’t actually learn anything when it comes to doing research. I’ve been working at the institute for too long to have not made a drop of progress. I feel like I have to pick between answers and having a social life, and I don’t know what to pick. They’re both important to me.”

Gerry took a deep breath, quickly running through his options and trying to find one that wouldn't shatter Michael's worldview. There wasn't one. “I think you should focus on social life.” He started, picking his words very carefully. “You've done more progress than you might think, and-” Fuck it, no way around it. “I might be able to help with answers. Not all of them and not at once, but you deserve not to be in the dark about everything.”

Michael's eyes widened. “You- you can? Help me, I mean?”

Gerry nodded. “Yes. I don’t want to overwhelm you, so it won't be instant, but I'm sure I have answers to at least a few of your questions.”

“I-” Michael looked like he might cry, but to his credit he managed not to. “Thank you, Gerard. Really.”

“Gerry.” He almost startled himself with that, but it was too late to backtrack now. Besides, it did feel like the right decision. “I've always wanted my friends to call me Gerry.” He admitted, a little embarrassed, but Michael just smiled.

“Gerry,” he repeated. “I like it. Well, thank you, Gerry.”

Oh. Gerry took the bit of warmth in his chest that came from the name, trying to keep it there for as long as he could. “Thank you too.” He smiled, soft and genuine. “I liked the game.”

Michael returned the expression, giving a serene nod. “So did I. I really liked getting to know you. I feel like I’ve seen so much of you around the Institute, but never actually… you know. Talked to you. I’ve been wanting to for some time, I just never did.”

“You're fascinating, so I'm glad too.” Gerry checked the time, surprised to find it was pretty late already. “Alright- I'll go shower now so we can go back to sleep soon.”

Michael looked at his own watch, which had been haphazardly stacked on top of his things, just after Gerry did. “Ah- Yeah, good plan. Enjoy. Oh- also the shower knob is weird, you have to turn it in the opposite direction it says. Learned that the hard way, so good luck.”

“Noted, thank you.” Gerry nodded, getting up and going to get his things before heading to the bathroom. He kept his shower quick - a leftover habit - and was out maybe ten minutes later, already dressed in sweats for bed.

His still wet hair was hanging from his head in strands. “I'll go for a smoke before bed.” He announced, already heading towards the balcony. Michael, to his credit, didn't say anything. He just shot Gerry a mildly worried glance and nodded.

Gerry headed out, lighting a cigarette and leaning against the railing. He looked down at the street below, sighing as he took a drag. Tomorrow would be exhausting, he knew that even now. He'd have to sit Michael down and explain the fears to him, at least start somewhere… he wasn't sure where, but that could be a problem for Tomorrow Gerry.

He spent a few more minutes outside until the cigarette was out, then threw it away and came back inside. He could feel his now unpleasantly cold hair sticking to his face and neck, and so he started making his way to his bed as soon as he closed the balcony door.

Michael looked up when Gerry came back inside, giving him a faint smile. “Feeling better?”

Gerry nodded, sitting down on the edge of his bed and grabbing the small towel left on the end of it to try to dry his hair more. “A little, yeah. Are you ready to sleep?”

Michael plopped his head back down onto the pillow with a sigh. “Yeah, I think so. I’m both absolutely exhausted and overly energized.”

“Let's just hope exhaustion wins then, yeah?” Gerry smiled sympathetically, setting the towel aside and heading over to the light switch. “Ready for lights out?”

“Yeah,” Michael sighed. “Thanks. Wasn’t looking forward to getting up.”

“Sure.” Gerry flipped the switch and got into his bed, throwing the soft covers over himself and curling up in fetal position. He closed his eyes, ready to just lie there for a while in the dark until sleep took him. Nothing new.

Michael seemed in a similar state, shifting restlessly every few seconds. Every so often he'd toss and turn, huffing in frustration as he tried to get comfortable. He lasted about ten minutes before finally speaking up. “Hey Gerry?”

Gerry wasn't asleep, thanks both to the other's struggle and his own mind. He opened his eyes, flipping over to look at Michael's bed. “Yeah? You okay?”

“Do you think- um-” Michael stuttered, curling in on himself a bit but looking up at Gerry. “Do you think I could have just one hug before sleeping?”

Gerry blinked a couple times, taken aback by the request. “Sorry?” He asked, but then nodded. “Yeah, I guess…” Maybe it could help him too? He got up, moving over to Michael's bed and awkwardly getting under the covers. The room was too cold for him to want his legs exposed. He opened his arms, a little unsure.

A guilty look flashed across Michael’s face, though Gerry could only barely tell with how dark it was. Still, he shifted closer, placing himself in Gerry’s arms and hugging him. The tension left his body as he gave a relaxed sigh.

Gerry returned the embrace, a little unsure at first but eventually falling into position. He leaned forward, resting against Michael just as much as the latter was resting on him and closing his eyes.
This was… nice, really. Their shared warmth reminded him of earlier, and felt safer than much of anything he felt in his life. He adjusted his arms around Michael's middle, breathing slowly with him and allowing his body to relax.

Michael closed his eyes as well, humming contentedly and getting comfortable. Eventually he repositioned himself to be lying down more, not saying anything but squeezing Gerry’s hand almost like an offer.

Oh. Okay, then. Gerry didn't want to move either, not really, and he really wanted to trust Michael. Maybe this would be a start. He returned the squeeze and continued the motion, sliding them down to lay under the covers properly and resting his head on Michael's shoulder. Okay.

Michael nuzzled closer, already beginning to fall asleep. Gerry found that rather endearing, really. All the earlier struggle only to drop off the moment they hugged… well, it made him feel warm inside. Michael deserved something nice, and if he could provide it he was willing.

He wasn't safe from the effects of the embrace either, his own consciousness starting to slip soon after. He let it, just allowing himself to enjoy the quiet, safe moment as he drifted off.