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For once, the hotel lobby was quiet. Vaggie was reading on the couch, the soft whisper of pages being turned coupling with the squeaking sounds of a marker against a whiteboard as Charlie worked on her latest project. So the visit with heaven had gone to bust- They still needed to plan for the future. Positive thinking! Good things were going to happen, and because of that Charlie wanted to get a few things settled for next year. In this particular case, she was working on planning on presents. Each hotel resident, along with her parents, had their face doodled somewhere on the board in front of her, with their birthdays’ listed just above their heads.
It was Charlie who broke the comfortable silence, thinking out loud as she drew a line between her parents, connecting their doodles. “What do you even get for the man who has, or can create, anything?” She asked Vaggie as she jotted down Lucifer and Lilith’s anniversary date. “I mean, a card was cute and all when I was five, but now…”
“Now your father will be exactly as excited about getting a card covered in glitter from you, if he’s not even more delighted,” Vaggie replied without looking up from her book, a small smile tugging at her lips that Charlie couldn’t help but return. “I’m more convinced of that now that I’ve met him than I would have been two weeks ago.”
“You’re probably right,” Charlie admitted as she added a swooping line to connect the doodle of her face to Vaggie’s own. “I’m just saying, it would be nice if he saw me as less of a child. You know?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s an issue everyone ends up having with their parents,” came Vaggie’s gentle reply. Which, alright, Charlie knew she wasn’t wrong… But that didn’t mean she wanted to hear it. A pout settled on her face for a few seconds, but as she added another line between herself and Alastor she was quickly distracted by a much more relevant question. What date should she put for their anniversary? The day he had come to join the hotel felt right, but was that jumping the gun a little? They had never made things ‘official’ so much as they had just… happened. She couldn’t imagine the hotel without Alastor in it now. His good natured needling a constant that was coupled with his support. Even if his end goal here really was entertainment, she’d seen his shadow grinning and joining in on the chaos too often to think he was really as distant as he liked to claim.
Speak of the devil, the click of well polished hooves on the hardwood floor behind her betrayed just who had walked in, even if the faint music curling through a gentle layer of radio static hadn’t been a dead giveaway. Alastor’s smile was bright, twirling his microphone over his fingers like a baton as he chimed in “Oh? Are we pointing out how the first fallen angel still utterly refuses to acknowledge Charlie as a grown woman with her own quite impressive accomplishments under her belt?” There was a click of metal on wood as he set his microphone down like a cane, the sarcasm heavy on his tongue even as he rested one hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Why, I never would have guessed.”
“Welcome back Alastor.” There was no hesitation as Charlie leaned into his touch, grinning up at him. “Just the person I was hoping to see, do you-” She faltered, interrupting her own thoughts. Actually asking what he thought their anniversary was seemed… Awkward. On a few different levels. Instead, she changed her question as she glanced back to a few of the other pictures she had drawn. “Do you happen to know if Husk and Angel have made their whole thing official yet? I’m trying to figure out anniversaries for everyone.”
“Husk. And Angel.” Alastor’s smile twitched, ever so slightly. So quick Charlie half thought she had missed it as his gaze lingered on the board. “No dear, I can’t say that I do. However,” he plucked the marker from her hand, and in one quick motion, made a point to draw a neat line between Husk’s picture and his own in an act that seemed downright possessive to Charlie. “If we’re taking note of every relationship within this hotel, then I can hardly let my own claim on our lovely bartender just slip into the shadows.”
“Oh!” She blinked a few times, glancing from the board, to Alastor’s grinning, impossible to read face, then the board again. Was he joking? He had to be joking. “You and Husk? Really?”
“But of course!” Alastor hummed softly, penning a date in above their heads in a tidy script. “You think I keep just any demon at my side the way I’ve chosen to indulge him? Husk has been mine for quite some time at this point.”
“I mean, I’m not exactly talking about soul ownership as the basis for a relationship-”
“Charlie!” Alastor placed a hand on his chest, shaking his head in mock offense- At least, Charlie was pretty sure it was only mock offense. “You wound me. Do you truly think I’m so free with my emotions? The number of souls under my control is, I assure you, exponentially higher than you think, and despite your apparent view of the contrary, I do only have two hands.”
“That’s not quite what I meant,” Charlie protested as she raised her hands to try and placate him. Apparently, there was more going on there than she had thought, and one of these days she should probably try to have one of their lessons be about power dynamics, and whether or not something like that was really healthy for anyone involved. But in the moment, all she could give was an awkward little laugh as she added “I guess I just didn’t get the impression that he liked you all that much.”
“Why would anyone like that smiling freak?” When she whipped her head around, Charlie saw a bored looking Husk and a thoroughly amused Angel stepping in through the front door. Both of them paused when they saw the work in progress on the whiteboard, and Husk’s golden eyes narrowed as he took note of the way his and Alastor’s pictures were linked. “What the fuck are you all up to in here?”
“Oh don’t be like that Husker!” A canned laugh track curled through the air as Alastor walked over to the pair of them, all too deliberate about the way he settled himself in between Angel and Husk to rest a hand on the cat’s shoulder. “It doesn’t suit you. I’ve just been telling the princess about out history and how long the two of us have been together.”
“We ain’t together,” Husk snapped as he batted Alastor’s hand away. “You’ve got me on a goddamned leash.”
“You wound me,” came Alastor’s lazy reply as one hand rose to pluck the hat from Husk’s head. Wicked claws that had eviscerated more demons than anyone wanted to really think about started scratching right at the base of those overlarge ears, working their steady way into the whorls of fur that had an awful tendency to clump up with the casual confidence of a man who had done this a dozen times before. “Don’t pretend you didn’t miss me these past few years.”
“I miss you like a toothache.” Words that would have been easier to believe if Husk had stormed off, if he had continued to shove Alastor off of him. But as those gleaming claws worked their magic, it was clear that the old tomcat couldn’t help the way his eyes slowly drifted closed. How he shifted, just a little, leaning into the touch so subtly that if Charlie hadn’t been watched, she would have missed it entirely. As things stood? She flushed, certain that she was watching something that she wasn’t meant to. This looked like a dance the two of them had been doing for quite some time, the sort of attention that was meant to be behind closed doors.
As she tore her gaze away, her attention landed on Angel, who had wandered over and was looking at the whiteboard. Specifically, his attention seemed caught by Alastor’s icon, which had two lines radiating out from it, and his own, which was only linked up to Husk’s. “Hey, why does Smiles over there have more relationships on here than I do? He doesn’t even put out.”
Before Charlie could protest, Angel snatched up the other marker and added a new face to the board. It was hard to miss Valentino with his heart shaped glasses, and to Charlie’s utter confusion he even added a few hearts along the line as he connected the two of them. After everything that had happened at the studio, she hadn’t expected to see that. But… Maybe she had misread something? Somehow? Somewhere? “Angel, are you sure-”
“What about Vox and Alastor?” Husk’s words interrupted her question, and more than that, made Charlie look back to where Husk had visibly relaxed, melting into Alastor’s touch more and more the longer his petting had gone on. She was more sure than ever that she wasn’t supposed to be seeing this, but Husk’s smug grin left him looking like the cat who had gotten into the white russian as his tail lashed lazily behind him, and Alastor’s own smile turned into something tight-lipped and almost offended as Husk added “They are married after all.”
“Wait- Alastor, you’re married? You never said anything about that!” Charlie could feel her eyes lighting up, expression bright enough to light up the room even as Alastor’s smile turned into something that looked more like a grimace.
“I hardly think we need to worry about something like that-”
“You made me officiate the damned wedding myself,” Husk pointed out, a snicker weaving through his words as he stretched enough everyone could hear the pop and crack of his spine. When he settled back into place he gave a few idle flaps of his wings and added “I know for a fact the two of you never got any divorce papers finalized.”
Vox, the television demon, someone who had eagerly settled himself as the forefront of technology, and Alastor, someone with both feet so firmly rooted in the past that if you tried to uproot him it may very well change the entire timeline. Charlie… Wasn’t entirely sure what to think about that, truth be told. Didn’t they have an entire blowout that had been broadcast over the radio? She was sure she had heard something when she had tuned into Alastor’s station- But that wasn’t the focus of this little experiment of theirs. As she took her marker back from Angel and started to add in a rectangle for Vox’s head, Vaggie chimed in with a “Do you really need to add him? I mean, Lute and I might never have officially broken up, but I’m pretty sure making me fall still counts.”
“Oh my gosh- Yes!” Charlie nodded eagerly, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt as she reached up to the top corner of the whiteboard to add in Lute’s picture. “Vaggie that’s a great idea! We can definitely use that as an excuse to get in touch with heaven again!”
“Wait- Hon, that isn’t what I meant-” Words that Charlie tuned out as she tried to get the curve of the exorcist’s helmet horns just right. Any connection they could get to heaven, any proof that they could be just as bitter and vengeful but were still allowed to be up there, only helped strengthen her own points with the hotel. After a beat, Vaggie sighed behind her, apparently giving in as she added “If you’re going to put Lute on there, you might as well add Adam connected to her for completion’s sake.”
Angel, meanwhile, rolled his eyes as he grabbed another marker and got to work on finishing the drawing of Vox. “You have shit taste Al,” he drawled over his shoulder as he drew a line to connect the media demons, then after a second he muttered under his breath “If we’re adding the Vees, we may as well slap Velvette on the list.” It didn’t take him long to add her in with a cloud of poofy hair, and he promptly connected the three of them in a triangle, after which he went back to the much more important part of this game. Him. “Let’s see, how many anniversary presents can I get outta you… Hey Charlie, can I add Travis on here?”
“Um-” She paused in the middle of adding Adam’s jagged grin, trying to think and match a face to the name. “And Travis is..?”
“One of my longest running clients, and a little bitch.”
“What? No!” She shook her head, a strained laugh escaping her. “No, Angel. Come on. If someone has to pay for your attention, then they really don’t count for this little exercise.”
“Boo, fine.” Angel rolled his eyes again, at this point Charlie was pretty sure they were going to roll right out of his head before the day was done. “He really oughta count though, seein’ as how often he pays double.” He took a step back and tapped the marker against his lower lip as he took in the ongoing chart, only to shrug, and connect his picture with Vox’s just to make sure he stayed tied with Alastor.
Charlie really hadn’t expected this many out of the hotel connections when she had started this. When she watched Angel connect his and Vox’s little doodles, she couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she asked “Are we missing anyone?”
To her surprise, after a moment, Husk’s paw went up. Both Angel and Alastor faltered, staring at him as they demanded in unison ”You’re sleeping with Vox too?!”
“What? No!” He scoffed, and that same paw came right back down to rub at his temples as he explained. “Velvette, actually. It’s a whole thing, we actually have a date this weekend- Don’t worry about it.” When he glanced up and saw the looks on their faces, the glare he shot back to the group felt like it could have stunned someone at fifty paces, and Charlie took a step back. It was Alastor who seemed to attract the tomcat’s ire the most though with the way his upper lip curled. Husk pointed an accusatory finger at him, the snarl thick in his words. “Al, stop looking at me like that. You’re the one who made me distract her so you could bother that television prick-”
“I had no intention of you defiling the young lady.”
“Who’s defiling? If anything, she’s the one defiling me!”
“Oh-kay! Charlie’s own smile grew more forced, trying to defuse the tension even as she moved to add a line in between Husk an Velvette. “Well! Is anyone else dating one of the Vees that I should know about?”
She had meant the question as a joke. Of everyone in the hotel, the last person Charlie expected to close their book, get up off the couch, and walk over, was Vaggie. Nonetheless her girlfriend came over, and with a sigh, added the long line between herself and Valentino.
Alastor’s eye twitched, and Angel let out a whooping wolf whistle before he started cackling. Charlie, meanwhile, turned to Vaggie with a look of utter confusion as she tried to process the what, the when, the how-
“It happened when we were fighting,” Vaggie said in a rush, a blush rising up on her own cheeks. “I had gone to the bar- Honestly, I was full on wasted by the time I ran into him. I didn’t even realize that he was a he exactly at the time, I think I said the words ‘big moth mommy’ before I ended up throwing up in his lap-”
“This is supposed to be for active relationships!” Charlie protested, still digesting what Vaggie had told her. “Active! Things I’m going to be giving anniversary presents for! Not a confessional!”
“You’re still textin’ him, ain’t’chya.” Angel leaned in, a smug grin on his lips. “He saw you wasted, took care a’ you all sympathetic and sweet, and now you’re hooked.”
“Oh would you shut up Angel?” Vaggie’s blush, if anything, turned even darker as she flipped him off. Charlie could feel things getting out of hand as Angel’s laugh rang through the room again, and she was right about to call things off and go re-evaluate a few things when Alastor’s voice piped up, cutting through the confusion with a bright “I think we need to add Rosie to this list!”
“What?” That distracted Charlie enough to look away from Vaggie, to where Alastor was nodding to himself. “Rosie?”
“Rosie! The Cannibal Queen? Our dearest black widow? You wouldn’t have forgotten the most charming overlord in hell now would you dear?” Another rolling laugh track wove through the room as Alastor grabbed a marker and added a quick doodle of Rosie to the bottom corner.
“Wait, are you actually like… in a relationship with her?” Charlie asked as she looked over at the ever-growing web on their board.
“I’ve outlasted every one of her marriages!” Alastor replied. “Though to that note, I do suppose they should be on the list for completion’s sake, shouldn’t they? Ah, well I can’t be expected to remember each of those tasteless men. Will a skull to represent the lot of them do the trick?”
“If you really think we need to add them?” And what, exactly, was Charlie supposed to do with that? Give Rosie an anniversary present for each of her former relationships? No, she’d just erase that portion of the chart later to keep from getting confused. More importantly… “Just outlasting her marriages isn’t exactly what I mean? I mean I know the two of you are close but-”
“Why my dear Charlie, are you claiming that sex is necessary in order to form a bond?” Alastor shook his head, clicking his tongue as he added ‘Rosie’s Husbands’ to the growing wall. “And before marriage no less. I truly believed you wished to make this hotel a place of redemption, not a den of hedonism.”
“No- no! That’s not what I meant!” Another strained laugh escaped her, and at this point Charlie thought she might be ending this little session of theirs with a visit to Husk’s bar. “Yes, okay Al, you can add Rosie.”
“If he gets Rosie, then I get Cherri!” Angel announced as he snatched the marker to add a quick doodle of Cherri off to the side with the fervent determination of someone that refused to lose- What, exactly? The competition of who was dating more people?
The sound of a vacuum roaring, manic giggling, and one Sir Pentious making his protests as he chased after his newest invention drew everyone’s attention away from the whiteboard, and to where a vacuum cleaner had clearly gotten out of control. Niffty was hanging onto the handle, her legs flying behind her with the speed it had as it swerved down the hallway, and Charlie clapped her hands to her face as she chanted under her breath. Whatever they broke could be fixed, whatever they broke could be fixed, whatever they broke could be fixed-
A ‘pop’ and the revving sound of the vacuum cleaner dying told her that it had become unplugged, and only then did Charlie bother to peek out through her fingers once more. Niffty’s manic grin had more teeth than usual as Pentious picked her up, holding her as though she were one of his many egg minions as he made his apologies. “So, SO sorry about that. I was attempting to give the vacuum a little more ‘oomph’ for our darling maid here, I didn’t realize that the time had gotten so late that we were missing out on another group project- Or are these battle plans?”
“Nah, nothin’ so formal,” Angel drawled as he motioned for the two of them to come over. “Charlie’s just tryin’ to organize the polycule, and it’s going about as well as you can expect.”
“I see.” Pentious blinked, and even if the word itself didn’t have any meaning to him, it didn’t take a genius to look at the chart and put together what was going on. When his gaze settled on Cherri’s spiked ponytail and impish grin, a flush rose on his cheeks and he shifted just that little bit closer. “Ah- I see Miss Bomb is a part of this list?”
A snicker escaped Angel as he tossed Pentious the other marker. “Pretty sure she still doesn’t really know you exist yet buddy, but go ahead. Knock yourself out.”
Again, not really the point of this project, but Charlie didn’t have the heart to turn Pentious down as he slithered over to add his face to the board and connect it to Cherri’s. Instead, she clapped her hands together and made a point to turn towards the group as a whole, her teeth gritting together in a forced smile. She could feel her more demonic traits creeping out at the edges, horns raising along with her blood pressure, her eyes inverting as the irises gleamed gold and the edges turned red, but she tried to keep her voice bright and chipper as she pointed out “If I could just remind everyone that the whole reason I was doing this was to figure out anniversary dates-”
Absolutely nobody was listening to her. Certainly not Niffty who took one look at the chart and lit up, motioning for Pentious to bring her closer as she cooed “Put me down with the bad boy.”
“Niff, you are not in a relationship with Valentino,” Husk told her as he stepped out of the crowd to slide right back behind the bar. When he met Charlie’s gaze, he gave a sympathetic nod, and started making her a drink along with his own.
“Aww come on!” Niffty’s face scrunched up in protest. “I have some of his fur in my scrapbook! That counts!”
And with that? Charlie gave up. She threw her hands to the ceiling and walked over to join Husk at the bar, settling herself down on one of the stools while everyone else swarmed over her initial project. It was at least a little calmer over here while their bickering filtered across the room, and as she gratefully took her dirty Shirley Temple, Charlie couldn’t help the question that had been bugging her from the start. “Are you really dating Alastor?” A question she regretted at Husk’s wince, but he raised a paw nonetheless to give a ‘so-so’ motion as he got to work on his own drink.
“Eh, not sure that I would have called it that these days. But before he owned my soul the two of us had… Arrangements.”
Because that made things more clear. Charlie shook her head, tuning back into the arguments developing at the whiteboard.
“Fuck it, I’m adding Travis. He’s spent enough on me-”
“I think I ought to add Mimzy to my side.”
“You are literally just trying to make sure you have as many as me now. Al, I’m a whore, it’s my fuckin’ job-”
“Why Angel!” Alastor was enjoying this way too much, that was obvious even from across the room. “I’ve known her since the two of us were alive! I helped her hide the body of her ex-boyfriend and hunted him down myself once we arrived down here! Am I supposed to just reject her now?”
“Wait- We’re supposed to have our relationships from when we were alive?” Niffty frowned, then let out a frustrated groan as she grabbed the marker and hopped up to connect her icon with Vox’s as well before protesting “Do I really have to connect to him just because we were married when we were alive?”
The creak of one of the upstairs doors opening cut through everything, and Lucifer made his bleary-eyed way down the hotel stairs as he rubbed at his eyes. He looked like he had walked straight out of the Sloth ring, still in his pajamas, with an oversized t-shirt hanging off one shoulder and duck-shaped slippers on his feet that made soft quacking sounds with every step that he took. He paused at the sight of their chaotic group, clearly more people than he was used to dealing with at once this soon after waking up. But really, it was three in the afternoon. Charlie was just glad her father hadn’t walked into anything on fire.
He still didn’t look fully awake when he looked at the whiteboard where only his and Lilith’s icons were connected, separate from the tangled mess that was everything else. After a beat he glanced back to Charlie, tilting his head slightly as he asked “Relationship chart?” And when she nodded, he turned back to the web as he ran his fingers through his hair.
After a few seconds to take everything in, he manifested a marker of his own and reached up to add another icon to the already overloaded board. A face Charlie didn’t recognize, a woman with curly hair and kind looking eyes who could only be Eve considering he instantly connected her to Adam. After a beat, Lucifer added another line between Eve and Lilith, and then to Charlie’s shock he added a third line between himself, and Adam. Adam. As in, mom’s ex Adam? As in “Call me Dickmaster” Adam?! Charlie half stood up, a strangled sound of protest getting caught in her throat as Lucifer looked idly around the room, taking in the different sinners around him. After a little while, his gaze settled on Alastor, an act that made the deer bristle under his attention. Lucifer looked him up and down slowly, and finally nodded to himself.
“Would.”
With one last line, Lucifer connected himself and Alastor on the chart before dropping the marker entirely. It vanished before it hit the ground, and Charlie stood frozen in place while Alastor’s smile grew that much sharper with a dangerous “Would what now?”
“Would! You know.” Lucifer shrugged, then beamed at them all brightly enough to live up to his name as the Morningstar. “Anyone else want breakfast? I’m thinking french toast. Just give me a few minutes.”
“Wait- Dad?” Charlie shook her head, glancing back at the chart, then her father, then the chart again, only to chase after him as he made his way to the kitchen as she protested “Dad?! What do you mean you and Adam-?!”
There was a moment of silence once the kitchen door closed behind them, the noise sounding solid and final. The game was fun, sure, but it was less fun without Charlie there to work up and antagonize every step of the way. Alastor stepped forwards and inspected the last addition to the chart, taking in the lines, counting out connections until a laugh finally escaped him as he circled his own face on the board. “Would you look at that! I win.”
