Work Text:
i.
“Stay still, V-1,” Vee’s handler scolded, untangling their tail. “C’mon, how did it even get to be this bad?”
Vee stayed silent.
“You really need to be less…” Their handler paused, thinking. “…Messy. Be more of a proper lady, a role model to the girls out there.”
She frowned, watching Vee stare at the ground blankly.
“What’s up with you? Is your software acting up again?” She said, worry slowly but surely creeping into her voice.
Vee shook their head. With their pixelated voice, they answered. “My systems are operating as intended.”
“Oh. Alright then,” The handler conceded. “We really oughta reprogram your personality, huh?” She chuckled.
Vee merely blinked, before replying. “If that’s what you require.”
“See, this is what I’m talking about! You’re so… blunt. Between this and that ear-grating host mode, your personalities are, well, lackluster. I should talk to Delilah about that…” She rambled on. “…And, done! Your tail is good as new, V-1.”
Vee nodded her thanks and got up from the chair they were sat on. They tried to ignore the sinking feeling they had about that whole conversation.
Everything their handler had said was true, but it didn’t make Vee feel good. It actually did the opposite of that. Sure, they were a little lackluster personality-wise, but it made them feel odd to call themself annoying.
Whatever. They were thinking too hard about this. If they were reprogrammed to be more likable, who’s to say that would be a bad thing?
ii.
“Hey, wait, Vee!” Sprout called. “I need your opinion on this recipe.”
Vee turned around, slightly confused.
Sprout grinned as he caught up to them. “Here’s the recipe. Work your magic, computer!” And as if to emphasize his point, he waved this hands around.
“…You do know that I can’t eat things, right?” Vee huffed impatiently.
“Well, duh,” Sprout rolled his eyes. “Do that math thing where you tell us that the ‘ratio of sugar to everything else is too high. Beep boop.’”
Vee smirked at his awful impression of them. “Uh-huh. Your mockery is veeery convincing.”
Sprout glared at them, unimpressed. “C’mon outdated tech. Just do the damn thing.”
Vee sighed, scanning the packet. “Here,” they pointed. “You wrote ‘pimch’ instead of pinch.”
Sprout balked. “That- That’s a spelling error! It hardly counts!”
They smiled as sweetly as they could. “I thought you wanted me to help? Because if not-“ They batted their digital eyes. “-Then you’re just wasting my time.”
“Ugh,” the strawberry groaned. “Stop torturing me, just get on with it, man.”
Man. Vee wasn’t a man. They were a lad—
“I can literally hear you thinking.” Sprout interjected. “It’s a saying. Or whatever. Just get on with it.”
Okay, rude. Anyway, Vee continued. “You wrote tablespoon instead of teaspoon here. Unless you really want those cookies to turn into a science fair volcano?”
Sprout laughed, “Is that all?”
Vee hummed their confirmation and left, swiftly as they could.
iii.
Vee wanted to ask Astro on his opinion. He was their friend and gave great advice. Vee assumed that if they could dream, they would probably dream about Astro.
Vee felt a weird pang in their chest, talking to Astro about his previously being a girl. It was sudden to bring up, they knew, but Astro would understand. He always did.
“Well… I’m not sure what you’re asking, Vee.”
“How did you know you were not a girl?” They clarified.
“That’s a loaded question.” Astro muttered humorously. “Um, I guess it was ‘cause of Dandy. I saw him, and I saw the others calling him ‘he’ and a ‘big strong boy,’ and I wanted that to be me. I guess. I… dunno.
“Hm.” Vee noted.
“Well, it’s not that simple,” He added. “Obviously. I never really felt anything happy when people called me a girl like I did when they called me a boy. And it was fine for the toon handler to just change my gender, cause I hadn’t really shown up in any episodes yet, heh.”
Astro paused for a minute. He looked deep in thought.
“I think I just never liked or felt connected with being a girl. Like how you don’t feel connected to your host persona, Y’know? Like it’s technically you, but it’s really not.”
Vee smiled, as genuinely as she could. Astro would get it. He did get it. This interview had been majorly helpful.
“Thanks, Astro. Your advice is invaluable.”
Astro smiled back, before softly mumbling a goodbye as Vee made their way out of the room.
iv.
“Hey, kiddos. Up for some trivia?” Vee grinned as they spun the mic in their hand skillfully.
It was one of those important holiday events, where you had to deal with kids in a meet-n-greet. Vee didn’t particularly enjoy them, but it’s not like they really could enjoy anything. A flip of the switch, and poof! There she is! The host!
Dealing with children wasn’t all that difficult, anyways. It was just—
“Miss Vee!” On particularly excited girl shouted from the crowd.
Vee would say they were more of a Dr.. Well, technically? They could administer medical care, but they were getting off track. It was the gendered term that set them off in the first place, anyways.
Miss? Vee was a robot, for Christ’s sake! She wasn’t a woman! Or, well she was supposed to be a woman. Robots don’t have genders. Or do they?
Well, whatever. Robots didn’t have genders, or at least not this one.
Vee’s thoughts swirled from one topic to another. They weren’t a girl. There was no biological connection to the gender (or even gender as a whole), because nothing about them was biological in the first place! So why did everyone think that they were female? It wasn’t fair that somebody could just one day decide that they were going to be a lady, in fact there was no reason behind it at all!
Vee didn’t want to be known as a girl. They were just… Vee. That’s all.
That line of reasoning sounded familiar, now that they thought about it.
Discomfort with assigned gender.
Desire to be recognized as another gender.
…Well, whatever. Vee wasn’t transgender, they were a robot!
v.
“Are we… good?” Shelly stared at Vee, trying to gauge their reaction.
Vee looked up at her. “What?”
“I said, um, are we good? ‘Cause you’ve been looking at me weird lately. I’m sorry… Um.” She said, trailing off.
“We’re good,” Vee repeated after her. “What exactly is this about?”
Shelly laughed nervously and started again, rambling. “Well, you know, you’ve been kinda weird all week, and staring at the wall all the time like you’re deep in thought and all, haha, you know! And… well, at first I thought it was me, because every time I noticed you doing that, I was also talking to you, and.. yeah, I assumed! Can you blame me? Anyway, then I asked Astro, ‘cause I saw you go to his room, and he said you were ‘figuring something out,’ and then he gave this weird sort of smile like he knew something was up—“
She suddenly paused, halfway through her rant, gazing intently at Vee’s expression. As if she were gauging how they felt about this conversation. It was a little comical, really.
“What’re you looking at?” Vee questioned. “Please continue.”
“Well, okay,” Shelly said, hesitantly. “…So like I was saying. I kinda figured that like, he meant you secretly hated me but you didn’t know how to tell me—“
Shelly paled at the thought.
“—Um, please tell me you don’t hate me…”
That startled an 8-bit chuckle out of Vee.
“Shelly, what reason would I have to hate you? For the record, you’re a coworker, and friends at best, strangers at worst. But… I don’t hate you.”
Vee didn’t think they were capable of feeling hatred, anyway.
At this point, Shelly looked close to tears (for some reason). Maybe it was Vee. Maybe they were just predestined to hurt those around them. Maybe it was in their bloodcode.
Finally, she murmured something under her breath that sounded like “We’re friends?” (but Vee couldn’t be sure) (who would even want to be friends with them in the first place? They were… boring and not great company, like their handler said) and beamed at Vee.
“I hope you get whatever’s bothering you sorted out, Vee,” Shelly smiled sweetly at them. “My door’s always open.. Y’know…”
“…Yeah.” Vee cut her off, slightly confused. They didn’t have anything to be bothered about. They were perfectly fine (as they should be).
vi.
Presenting with nausea, dysphoriadysmorphia, and an innate sense of dread. It was fine, probably.
VeeThe patient seems to be dealing with some sort of bug. Maybe it was an obtained virus? They needed to get their software checked out.
They need to be fixed.
They need to be fixed.
They need to be fixed.
There is something broken in the system, something that is making them act like this, think like this. It needs to end, now.
“All of your functions seem to be up to date. Are you feeling unwell, Vee?”
Maybe there really is something wrong with them, something that no one is really aware of except for Vee. Or maybe Vee is just innately broken, and no matter what anyone tries, they’re just destined to be… this.
It’s dumb. Why should they be who they are because arbitrary rules in their head say so? Why can’t they be them?
It’s honestly a refreshing point of view, but Vee knows it’s illogical. They can’t just, break the rules. They quite literally are the rules. Without rules, Vee is nothing.
They are nothing.
vii.
Astro is angry with them, and Vee doesn’t understand why.
Obviously, Astro is not Vee, therefore, he should be held to different standards. It would be unfair to hold every toon in garden view by the same standards, as (and they quote,) “everyone is special in their own unique way.”
Their line of reasoning is flawlessly logical (per usual), but Astro doesn’t get it, somehow.
“If you— If you think that about yourself, what do you think about me!?” He says, sounding very frustrated. “Do you think I’m a girl, too?”
Vee has to explain to Astro that it’s different, and that Vee isn’t supposed to have those thoughts and that Astro is just… Astro. Astro is allowed to have his own thoughts because they’re his thoughts. Vee isn’t even sure if their thoughts are real.
And it’s stupid, so entirely pointless and unnecessary to argue this, because isn’t it obvious? Vee is broken!
But Astro is looking at them like they just kicked his puppy or something—it’s weird. He doesn’t look that mad anymore, though, so Vee counts their blessings and tries to drop the conversation.
Except… Astro doesn’t. Instead of dropping it like he usually does when he senses Vee is getting uncomfortable, he pushes further. And he (frustratingly) does it nicely, like he cares or something.
Vee would’ve preferred it if he came at them, guns blazing in a vicious verbal attack, but they aren’t quite sure why. Something about it being easier to deflect and deny in an argument. Something like that.
“I’m a computer, Astro. I-“
“But you’re a sentient one,” he interrupts, frowning. “Your feelings matter too. You do have feelings, Vee. It’s not your fault you feel this way. You’re not a machine, no matter how much you or anyone else likes to tell you that. You still are made of ichor!”
He stops, gaze stopping at Vee’s control panel, the one on the middle of their chest. “…Even if you do have a couple wires… that doesn’t mean what you feel isn’t real. You aren’t completely synthetic, you know?”
Vee doesn’t say anything.
“It’s important to me that you know that.”
It’s weirdly… touching. Vee can’t put a finger on what they’re ‘feeling’ but it makes them warm inside (which might be a problem, because their internal fans can only take so much heat), for some reason.
“Oh.” They murmur.
Their tail sways from side to side as Vee thinks of what to say. For maybe the first time in their life, they’re rendered speechless.
’Speechless at what?’ A small part in the back of their head snarls, bitterly. ’The fact that they have feelings? Obviously not true.’
It’s like Astro can hear their thoughts, because before Vee can give the idea any merit, Astro is enveloping them in a hug.
For a second, everything feels alright. Maybe it’s because Astro is hugging them (with all four arms!) and he never really does that. Maybe it’s that touchy-feely speech he gave. But it doesn’t matter, because none of this is making all that much sense.
It’s not logical. Vee knows that just because they feel a little better about themself, it doesn’t mean that all their problems will magically disappear. (Or maybe it will… because it feels that way right now, or at least to them it does.)
…But for now, it’s enough. They’re content to wrap their arms around Astro and lean into the embrace. It’s comforting, and they feel, for once, happy. And in this moment, it’s all they need.