Chapter Text
Damian Wayne didn't expect Gotham to change as much as it did while he was gone. Between his medical endeavours and his League training, he hadn't had much time to go back home and tie up whatever he had left behind. Most of them knew what had happened, going back to the League like a recalled toy waiting to be patched back up: Jon, Maya, Nika, Colin, Maps even.
But he had almost forgotten about her.
Alessia Knox. The girl he'd met at a gala once when he was 18, dated for about 7 years before abandoning her for an additional 5 years. All in all, he'd known her for about 13 years. They were 31 now, and he wouldn't blame her if she had left. And she had. Because that's how they met once again.
Her hair was longer than it used to be, now reaching to her chest area, wavier and blonder. Her style hadn't changed at all, still opting for nearly fully Vivienne Westwood, corset, plaid and all. Her shoes however, were still the banged up Vans that she always wore. It's how he recognised her on multiple occasions. Sure, it was weird seeing a fully grown man bending down in a crowd to find shoes but it worked somewhat.
But it wasn't crowded tonight. Thank god, because he could see her bright as day. Unfortunately, he could also see the man on her arm, and it wasn't any of her brothers. He was blond, with green-ish eyes. Wow. Damian hoped that that was because of him.
"That's Alessia's new guy." Colin had appeared next to him. "AJ Huxley."
"How long-"
"Only a year or so...barely a year." Maya was now also by his side. "Maybe 6 months?"
"You never count when you went on that 'trip' with Kathy." Jon rolled his eyes. "It's definitely been a year and a bit."
They paused, waiting for Damian's reaction. "Does he always hold her like that?"
He always held Alessia around her waist, keeping a close eye on her. AJ, on the other hand, held her by the wrist. Her wrists were small and fragile, Damian would never do that to her. Maybe he was searching for things where there weren't.
"You should go say hi." Maps piped up.
"I probably-"
"Damian!" Her voice rang out in the hall.
She was running towards him, a mixture of a frown and a smile gracing her face. The familiar jangle of her bracelets sprinted to him, a joy in her step. She really was just the same girl he used to know.
"Dami!" She skidded to a stop right in front of him.
Her smile was always unnerving, a bit too wide for her face. Her face was rather small anyways, fitting nicely into his palm. Closer up, he saw her bright blue eyes again, shining under the light like it was hidden under a blanket. It was...dampened. Which was odd, nothing could ever put out that light, not even her family.
The loud crack of a whip sounded throughout the hall as her palm made contact with his cheek.
"Where the bloody FUCK! Have you been!" She screamed, some heads turning towards them.
"I can-"
"YOU BETTER BLOODY EXPLAIN BEFORE I KILL YOU MYSELF!"
"Beloved-"
Her form changed, steeping backwards, looking around warily. "You can't call me that anymore." Her hands had raised in defence in front of her chest. "You know that, right?"
Yeah, he knew her stance on loyalty. Awfully strict, no matter how it hurt her. He knew that people didn't really even like them together. She and him. People knew the type of guys she was into, but it wasn't like that, they swore up and down. She was really in love with him. But Damian didn't like how AJ held her. So rough like they were fighting.
"I heard." Venom seeping into his voice. "I don't like how he holds you."
He barely knew the other guy and it had been five years since he last saw her, why was he picking a fight now? She may have been a totally different person under all that mask that looked the same.
"At least AJ wouldn't leave me." She turned on her heel and stomped off, the dirty Vans leaving craters in her wake.
"Did you never tell her-" Maya raised her eyebrows. "Damian!" She hit his shoulder.
"I thought it would keep her safe!"
"Holy shit! You are an idiot!" She stared at him, jaw practically unhinged.
The night progressed with the usual pleasantries that Damian disliked about galas, especially when people thought you were dead for the past few years. But his eyes always wandered back to her. In her pearly pink dress. Had he ever seen that dress before? No...No, he hadn't, which was odd because he swore he knew every dress in her wardrobe and she wasn't the type to buy new...well, whatever.
His eyes were drooping by the time it was around 2AM. Gotham made him more tired faster. And now they were all filtering out like ants. And there she was, in the centre of the room, alone.
He approached her, footsteps light. She wasn't a scared, frail animal, why is he treating her like one?
"Where's-" He cleared his throat. "He?"
"No idea..." She was swirling a drink around in her glass. "So where've you been?"
"Places." His green eyes casted down onto the floor, knowing the answer wouldn't be believed. No matter what he said, he wouldn't be believed.
"You still look the same." They both said.
Alessia's laugh was airy and flowing but a slight hesitance held her back. Her head didn't go back as much as it used to. Something really did change within her, but it had been maybe 5 years. 5 years, 2 months and 17 days. he had counted. He had counted every day that he had left Gotham. Left his life. Left...her. Left her to find a man who probably didn't love her.
Her phone rang. She turned her back, covering the receiver. Which was a futile endeavour, due to the fact that her phone were automatically connected to her hearing aids, but it made her feel normal. He didn't understand it but he never strived to be normal. Like right now, where he was listening in to his ex's conversation.
"What-What do you mean where am I? You left me at the fucking party, AJ!" She whisper-screamed into the phone. "Fine, I'm just gonna head home. Yes, to my own apartment." She scoffed. "No. God no. not tonight. Bye."
"I could...send you back." Damian offered as soon as she hung up.
"I'm not a damsel in distress. I can do it myself." Then she stared out the glass panes. Rain pattered against it, like an intruding tapping at your mind's windows. "But it'd be a bitch in the ass to wait..." Her eyes glanced up. "Sure, why not?"
She readjusted her bag strap, marching out with her head slightly raised. He followed her dirty Vans out of the hall, making sure to not draw too much attention to himself.
The drive back was quiet. She was looking out the window, yawning as she did so. Her blue eyes were turning into a haze, the lights were dimming around the city. the sleep was starting to take him too but he had to drive back to the Manor. She still lived in the same part of East Gotham: the run-down, shot up places. She knew the place but it didn't sit with him quite right how she was going to be here, all alone. And the way she was walking back didn't reassure him at all. She wasn't drunk, just dizzy and tired.
Her old Impala was here. Some things never change. It was almost as busted up as her shoes. To be fair, it had been a couple of generations.
He escorted her upstairs, when she turned around and stared at him. She pulled up his eyelid and then pulled it down, grinning. "You're tired."
"I suppose I am."
"You wanna stay the night?"
This was bad. Why was she asking him to stay? Didn't she hate him? And she had AJ. The new guy. What was going to happen-
"Sure."
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Did he say yes?
"You can sleep on the couch, leave whenever you want, it seems to be in your nature." Oh, she was being petty. To be fair, it was what was to be expected with Alessia. It's how she acted with her father, of course she'd act like that with him. "But first, can you unzip my dress?"
She turned her back to him, pointing at where it was. It went down her spine, the metal hitting each one of her vertebrae as it crawled down slowly. His eyes were following it down, helping her slip it off once it was done. There she stood in front of him, like a marble statue, shoulder-blades and spine all perfectly carved out of the skin that shone with the sun's rays, even in the darkest of night.
'Oh, to whatever God stared down upon me now, please do not let me kiss a woman with a boyfriend,' Damian pleaded on the inside. His breath hitched as he took it all in. She still looked the same but some parts of her were darker than others, not in a tan way but in a-
'Oh, to whatever God was staring upon me just now, don't make me right.' The first time he ever thought that. He always wanted to be right but this was the one time that he hoped he wasn't. He couldn't be right. Why would Alessia stay with a man like that?
"What're you staring at, mister?" She teased, back still to him.
"Are those bruises?"
Her shoulders tensed, her head dropped. She rubbed over her wrists, not daring to turn around.
"Alessia." He stepped right to her back, hand reaching out.
"I'm knackered." She opened her bedroom door with trembling hands.
"Alessia." His voice took a dangerous edge out of worry.
"I've gotta get to bed." Her voice shook with guilt as she stepped into her room.
"Alessia!" He forced the door open with his arm.
"I'm fine, really!" She slammed the door behind her.
"Kendra!" He hit the door with his palms. "Kendra, you can't do this every time!"
"You ran first!"
"I didn't want to!"
"I'm going to bed, you can go fuck yourself on the couch for all I care!"
A few minutes passed, him still sitting by the door, slumping down in defeat. A knock came from the front door, meek and unassuming.
"I'll answer." He sighed, pushing himself up with a grunt.
A familiar face greeted him, a face from his past. A fidgeting figure, much shorter than he was yet a little bit older. Possibly his father's age or a little younger.
"Hello, Ms Jackson."
She took in a sharp gasp before pulling him in for a hug. "Oh thank goodness you're back! I don't like the blond guy she's been seeing. Do you know about that that? Anyways, I'm sure you're happy to see each other but keep the yelling down."
He struggled against her vice grip pulling away. "Thank you, but she's still with the blond guy."
"Oh!" She giggled. "Then I won't tell him."
What. What. Did this lady just...allow them to cheat? Did that just happen? What was she? What? She...she hadn't seen him in half a decade and the first thing she does is allow him to cheat? She skittered away back to her apartment, two doors down. He stood in the open doorway dumbfounded. He glanced up at the clock, it was practically morning with the clock settling on 4.
Damian glanced at the clock, then at the bedroom door, then at the clock once more before finally staring the couch down as if it was an enemy. He flopped down, staring at the ceiling, just hoping his eyes would eventually close.
They did eventually, as he never noticed Alessia stumbling out of her room to the kitchen at 6. She paused for a moment, staring at his sleeping figure through her hazy eyes, shaking her head solemnly. She continued on towards the kitchen, a rather small affair for a girl with her net worth. Barely a girl, barely human. AJ didn't like that so much. Damian appreciated it, but it landed slightly different once you looked at his family. Maybe she was just another animal he was saving and helping. But he loved all the animals he had under his care, did he not?
Why did she invite him to stay the night? Because she was being a good person? Or because she hoped something would happen? A reprieve from her and AJ? AJ wasn't a bad guy, he was just rough around the edges. But people said that about Damian, and he never left...no, they weren't bruises, he wasn't like that. That'd be abuse! And she wasn't being abused.
Anyways, she felt bad for him on that couch and she'd have to leave soon anyways. Despite not being the Daisies anymore, the four of them seemed to always cross paths: her, Kirsty, Jill and Rachel. They were the Daisies but at some point in your twenties, when you had been doing it for a decade and a half, it starts being juvenile and ruining you career. But they were still friends, obviously. But here they were, all in a horror flick together that none of them realised were with each other.
Oh, she couldn't even watch TV while she ate her breakfast. Damian was on the couch. She could move him. They...wow, AJ really did curse them. What was she now? Had she lost her identity in the midst of trying to be loved? That didn't happen with Damian, did it?
"Where're you going?" A sleepy voice asked her, eyes barely open.
"Work, darling."
"I thought I couldn't call you beloved anymore." His voice turned stern. "Why can you call me 'darling'?"
"I don't know." She slipped out the door before he could make anymore objections.
He hated how this apartment made him feel. It made him feel...weird. Everything so familiar yet so foreign. He knew every nook and cranny known to man in this cramped space but nothing in it were the same things.
But he had an irking feeling that he was going to come back here more often than he would like. That he was going to see Alessia much more often than he should.
But he headed back to the Manor for now.
And he was now just realising how many more pictures of her there were around this goddamned city. Like a shining angel through the pits of hell. She was fucking beautiful, jerkass didn't deserve her, go fuck yourself with a hand.
'You don't deserve her either,' whispered a voice in his head. 'She hates you.'
"She let me stay." He confirmed out loud.
"Who let you stay, Master Damian?" Alfred asked as the doors opened.
"Where were you last night?" Dick appeared into his view.
"With a friend." Damian grunted.
"Alessia?" Aaira eyed him suspiciously. "Did our friends tell you-"
"Her boyfriend, I know, she just didn't want me driving while I was tired."
Their eyes judged as he stalked his way upstairs, still in his clothes from the night before. He needed a shower. He felt dirty. Dirty, filthy. And he hadn't even touched her besides to unzip her dress.
She was trying to goad him into it.
She was trying to make him...wait, what.
Son of the World's Greatest Detective right here, folks.
She wanted him. But that wasn't right. Alessia would rather die than let her loyalty crumble like sand. but that meant...well, maybe there was no loyalty in the first place. Huh. Weird. Alessia wasn't the type of person to do things half-heartedly. All or nothing, do it all bad, as long as you did it all. So really, what was she doing? What was she doing and why was she doing it?
He pulled out a folder from under his bed, untouched in the years he had been gone. It was filled to the brim with everything he had ever had of her. Her writing, her eyes he had used as reference once upon a time.
Yeah, they really weren't the same anymore. So much of the colours had been light blue, with crinkles by her eyes because she couldn't stop smiling. It had only been a few hours but she barely smiled with him. The other him. The blond trashbag. He took away her light, the light that shone brighter than the moon.
He spent a while sifting through the art, theirs and his own. They weren't much of a drawer, more of a writer, a musician. Long prose and poems they had written to him, in the days they couldn't communicate. God, they loved him so dearly. Did they do that with AJ too? Have they ever? AJ was a musician too, was he not? Did he do that for them? Did he love like that?
Could he love like that?
"If it helps," A voice came from his doorway. "I don't think he treats her well."
Aaira had grown to be more like their mother in the years he'd been gone. Her jaw had sharpened, she was more lithe than when he had left. She seemed more defined, easier to draw somehow. And it was now nearly 2 o'clock. Crazy how time passes.
"And you know Alessia, you can't exactly drag her away from a situation."
"She doesn't seem comfortable, sister."
"I know."
"She needs to get out of there."
"I know."
"You've never tried?"
"She won't listen, she doesn't think it classifies as...so." His sister rolled her eyes. "She says 'she bruises easy.'"
"They." He realised with a start. "They. Don't bruise easy."
"How do you that, brother dear?" A smirk playing at her lips.
"I just...i just know, sister." His gaze averted from hers. "Why someone like him though?"
"Because, brother: someone who is cold will always gravitate towards a fire."
"I hate that I made her cold."
Then a ping from his phone.
'Meet me at our usual spot?' From her. After all these years. She actually wanted him back. But she had...
'Please.'
There was a desperation in the message, a text he shouldn't say yes to.
'Sure.' He texted back, wondering if it was right. It clearly wasn't. But hey, you do what you gotta do for love. 'When?'
"Don't tell me you're texting her."
"You'd do the same thing."
She'd never broken up with anyone ever, she wouldn't know what it's like.
'What time?' He texted.
'11?'
That's late but not unusual. Especially because...ugh, AJ would try to be around. Even though she was clearly not happy with him. God, if he could just get out of the way.
He needed him out of the way.
Meanwhile, Alessia had just kicked off their shoes and flopped onto their couch. The ceiling fan spun above them, like a hypnotist's trick. She was planning to cheat on AJ. With Damian. That sounded wrong. Cheating never led anywhere good but...
Well, it's not like she still wanted AJ. He barely cared about her. And now he was calling.
"Hey, where are you?" He asked, his voice light. "I went to the set and they said-"
"I'm at home." Her voice sharp and unforgiving.
"Is this about last night? I'm sorry, baby, I shouldn't have done that."
"Yeah, people don't leave their girlfriend behind." She rolled her eyes as she cringed inwardly.
"Baby, I said I'm sorry, alright?" His tone had taken on annoyance. "And besides, you got home anyways."
"Yeah, I did." Go on the offence or defence? "I guess I'm fine but next time, can't you tell me?"
"It was one night."
No, it wasn't. It was multiple nights, multiple times, probably to go fuck another girl in the same bed you fucked me in. In the same bed you swore to love me and only me in. Maybe wasn't even the same girl every time. How do I know you haven't been cheating on me ever since-
She sighed. "I suppose so. i'm not free tonight. Don't call me 'cause I'm busy."
"Okay...I got a party in two weeks for the album release, you have to come."
"Fine." Was this the time? Really? Never could she talk about her problems or his mistakes, because that's all it was: a mistake that he'd fix. But he never fixed it, did he? It was never his problem, was it?
Screw that and screw him.
She had better fish to catch. His name was Damian Wayne. And he dressed better.
The clock ticked by on the wall, eyes watching like a hawk. Damian didn't usually climb rooftops costume-less, however for Alessia, that didn't matter. They thought it was a weird rich kid thing. Every weird rich kid had their thing: equestrianism, ballet, languages. For Damian, it was climbing walls. He said his father taught him...what weird billionaires.
Anyways, it was 10:45pm when she decided to move from her place on the couch. It wasn't far, it was literally just her apartment roof. He knew that she wasn't fussed but hey, at least put some effort into it or you'd be a hypocrite for the ages. Then her phone rang.
'John'
Oh.
"Hey, dad..." The word trailed off like a fly. "Why're y' calling?"
"Eh, nothin'. Think i left a talisman at yours."
"The one you put on my door when I was 12? I'm not givin' ya that one back." She fussed.
John Constantine. The father who really was trying but sometimes not hard enough. He'd flit in and out of her life, occassionally giving advice, not really though.
"Alright, guess I'll hafta find a new one."
"Hey...uh, if you were to get back with an old flame..."
"Oh, you finally broke up with the asshole!"
"Dad, don't call him that!" She bit her lip.
"Oh glowworm." A pause. "I don't know what you're trying to do." He only called her that in...dire circumstances nowadays. "I don't think you should do it."
Silence on both sides. "I don't know what's going to happen if I tell him I want to break up."
"It'll be worse, Lessi, much worse if he finds out you're cheating." He heaved. "Leave him. I can't bear to see you like this."
"I..."
"You have no stability with him, your net worth is higher and who is the new one?"
"Damian..."
"Damian's much richer." He scoffed. "And, anyways...more attractive. I won't lie that Brucie can be quite handsome when he wants to."
You know it's bad when Constantine is agreeing.
"I gotta go, Abah..."
"OKay then."
And he hung up.
She rushed up, realising the time. Damian could be awfully punctual, good for no one. Alessia liked it.
"Hey, sorry I'm late." She smoothed out her shirt, finding him staring at the moon.
He looked pretty like this. It pissed her off to high heaven that he had such long eyelashes. But his green eyes were captivating. He sat on the edge of the building, legs dangling outwards.
"Why did you want to meet?" His head perked up at the sound of her voice.
Alessia stood firm where she was. "I want you to explain everything."
"Everything?" He seemed shocked. "You sure you're ready?"
"I've been needing an explanation for 5 years, Damian, yes I'm ready!"
"I'm Robin."
"What?" Her words slurred, time slowing suddenly. She now sat next to him, back facing to the rest of the city
Robin. The...the Boy Wonder?
"No, you're not."
"I am. My mother is part of a...group...called the League of Assassins. I called them a conservationist group. They mostly are. I told you that. However, they all work for my grandfather: Ra's Al Ghul." He took in a deep breath. "I am meant to carry on the legacy, run it as the new Head, however my soul is in Gotham."
"Your soul?" She questioned, her head tilting.
"Hah." He laughed, as if not putting his whole into it. "You are here, Kendra." His hand rested on hers. "I've lived my life and torture out there just to know I'd return back here. For you. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me...you'd live better. Better than this. But you have AJ."
"He hits me. i think. He's not nice when he's drunk. I prefer him when he's high. I drug him, sometimes, dissolvable melatonin. Makes him go to sleep." She was rambling now, stop that, you're confessing your crimes to a vigilante. But it kept going like a fountain. "It stops the hurt."
"So he does hit you." Damian's voice was now icy cold. He seemed to grip at something that wasn't at his belt. "I can take care of that. Make him...not a problem anymore."
"Don't kill him, too troublesome." They always took on an accent when they said 'troublesome'. Asian accent, not the British one. "Too much attention."
"So, what would you want me to do?"
Their eyes finally met in what seemed like an eternity. Blue and green making a clash of waves, battering against one another, pushing together and then apart, like it was finally coming to the shore. Their skin was cold, like snowfall in the dead of night. His was warmer, like a dawn rising upon a new day.
"Can you just hold me?" They had turned around now, head resting on his shoulder. The world was at their feet, the chimes and bells of the cars below. People talked and walked by, not minding the two adults on the edge of the building.
"How long?"
"Take me away from here." Her breath was cold, not unusual for a Gotham night. "Forever."
'Your version of forever is not as long as mine.' He thought, eyes casting downwards. Unless...no.
"Do something for me." He asked of her, tucking a lock of hair behind their ear. "Close your eyes."
"Okay." They huffed, still unrelenting to his commands.
He pressed his lips to theirs, a heart-melting warmth seeping through them. It felt like fireworks whenever they kissed but it now felt like a nuclear explosion: something you swore to never do but god, did it feel impossible to tear away from. They pushed him in closer, the kiss widening its destruction the deeper it got.
So wrong, yet so right. This was wrong. They were married but they were still in a relationship. And Damian. It'd ruin his reputation. So much. He had just returned and the first thing he did was...help his ex partner cheat. It didn't matter, she'd be happier with him, right?
He had smeared her lip tint. She tried adjusting it back to how it was, hoping it wasn't noticeable.
"That was a mistake." He moved away from her, avoiding eye contact.
Her electric blue eyes opened, trying to find even a hint of remorse in his body. "No, it wasn't." She argued. "Haven't been kissed like that in a while."
Laughing seemed hollow and emotionless in a circumstance like this. Like an unneeded punctuation. But you always laughed in dire situations. If you didn't know what to do, you would laugh, wouldn't you?
What a stupid and juvenile way to react.
"I've missed you." Their voice cracked like dry skin on a winter's night. "God, it's been harsh without you."
"We shouldn't do this." He affirmed.
"Damian." Alessia turned to him fully now, eyes welled up with tears. "I don't care about him anymore, I've tried not to. If it soothes you somehow...he's probably been doing the same thing to me."
"Who would cheat on you?" He asked. "An idiot." He answered his own question.
"So? What do you say?" Their feet landed on the rooftop once more. They held their hand out towards him, beckoning him to join.
"I say I love you." Damian pulled himself off the ledge, into their arms.
"You're...willing to compromise every part of you...for me?"
"I am." He planted a kiss on their forehead. "If it means loving you forevermore."