Work Text:
Silence hung between them as Zuko and Katara slowly made their way back to the cave where Appa was waiting, Zuko trailing a few steps behind her. Their pace was slow, despite, or perhaps because their clothes were already drenched. Tension radiated off the waterbender and Katara was glad he couldn’t see her face. Why was she still angry? What else was still raging in her chest and choking her?
She had spared Yon Rha. Her mother remained unavenged because of Katara’s weakness . She’d had him surrounded by icicles, it would have been just a flick of her wrist to impale him. Katara bit her lower lip and blinked harshly. She felt Zuko’s eyes on her. If she were to turn around, he would stop her, or perhaps question her change of heart. Yon Rha is not worth my anger. He is a small, pathetic man. He is not worth it. He is not worth it. He. Is. Not. Worth. My. Anger.
No matter how often she repeated the mantra, her chest only tightened. Her fingernails painfully dug into her palms, despite the glove. She almost wished Zuko would say something stupid, just so she could snap at him and get rid of that horrible feeling in her chest, but she knew he wouldn’t. For all his misdeeds, he could be surprisingly sensitive for a firebender. He understood more than Aang had. Her eyes were burning.
The small sob escaped her unwillingly and Katara swallowed. The stupid urge to cry pressed at the back of her throat, but she would not cry. Sometimes, she felt like she cried too easily. Katara tried to quietly sniffle, hoping the rain would cover the noise. When a warm hand gently squeezed her shoulder, she looked at Zuko.
“It’s alright.”, he softly said and the dam broke. Katara’s knees buckled under her and her cries and shouts were dampened by the rain. Her fingers dug into the wet earth. Zuko kneeled down next to her and Katara reared up, burying her face into his chest, seeking comfort in her former enemy, in the boy who had chased them across the world. Zuko pressed his scarred cheek against her hair and closed his eyes as he held her close.
Eventually, Katara’s sobs quietened and she pulled back, not meeting his eyes.
“Thank you.”, she quietly said and Zuko shook his head.
“Don’t be. There is nothing to be sorry about.”
“We should go to the cave. We’ll get sick.”
“...Alright. It shouldn’t be far.”
*
It was a mere 5 minutes walk until they spotted the cave. Appa peeked out of it and groaned, no doubt having heard Katara. She petted the space between his eyes.
“I’m alright.”, she quietly said and it was not even a total lie. She did feel better, albeit a bit embarrassed. Wailing into Zuko’s chest like that? They had hardly begun to form a mutual friendship - she should apologize.
Zuko dropped the firewood he had gathered on the way back and Katara bended it dry before he lit it on fire. Appa huffed and snuggled against the wall of the cave. Katara dried their clothes and was glad to be dry again. Sitting down on her roll, she tucked her knees against her chin and watched Zuko rummage their bag.
“Are you hungry? We have some apples, nuts and some dried meat.”
“An apple, please.”
Zuko threw her one and sat down in his bedroll, an apple in his hand. It was quiet for a while, the silence only pierced by the crackling fire and the apples’ crunch.
“I’m sorry for crying into you like that.”, Katara suddenly said. Zuko looked up from his apple, but Katara’s gaze was fixed on the fire.
“Why do you apologize?”
“Well, we aren’t that close and -”
“Katara, it’s fine, really. You have nothing to apologize for, be it crying or the grudge.”
“I don’t…hold a grudge anymore. Thank you for coming with me, Zuko.”
Katara met his eyes and hid her smile at his surprised expression. The surprise quickly gave way to relief and he smiled at her. The corner on his scarred side stayed a bit lower than the other, and Katara, not for the first time, wondered about the story behind the scar. A training accident, perhaps? Or a spar which escalated? Perhaps they’d get to hear it one night around the fire. It was probably a funny story.
Tomorrow, they would fly back to the others. Their team would be whole again and strengthened. Katara’s mood soured slightly when thinking about Aang. Why didn’t he understand? She had known he wouldn’t, but why?
“You’re thinking hard. Do you regret not killing him?”
“I don’t know.”, Katara frankly said. “It feels like my mother remains unavenged, as if by walking away, I…dishonoured her memory.”
“Sparing Yon Rha’s life was not a weakness. It takes strength to know when to take and when to spare a life.”, Zuko contemplatively looked into the fire and Katara’s grip on the remains of her apple tightened. “I think it was pity, which stayed your hand. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, doing something which seems wrong at first, such as sparing Yon Rha, can have a good outcome later.”
“I didn’t pity him. I hate him.”
“Of course you do. But I also think there was a twinge of pity between the lines of anger. I pitied him. He is a miserable man and already punished enough. You heard his mother.”
Katara chuckled. “I did. She sounded like a terror. What would this ‘good consequence’ be? I gained nothing by keeping him alive.”
“Didn’t you? You now have the chance to close that chapter. You saw the man who murdered your mother. You confronted him and made him beg for his life. You know the truth. Whatever phantom you created of Yon Rha is shattered and replaced by a miserable creature. That is what you gained: freedom and the ability to finally let it scar. And I think you saved yourself from walking down a path of no return. Frankly, I don’t think you could have stomached killing him. Imagining taking someone’s life and doing it are two different things. His death would have weighed on you. And that is nothing to be ashamed of.”, Zuko added when Katara opened her mouth. Thoughtfully, she looked away before meeting his eyes again.
“Have you ever killed someone?”
“No. I am not a cruel person. It is something my father has always hated.”, Zuko quietly said and Katara shifted closer until their feet touched.
“I know you aren’t. You spared my village when Aang surrendered himself. If you were a cruel man, you would have burned it down. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“But that is not all that’s on your mind. Sparing Yon Rha, I mean.”
“It’s stupid, but…Aang annoyed me. He of all people should have understood. The Fire Nation wiped out his people, for La’s sake! He of all people should be furious and hellbent on revenge, but he doesn’t bear a grudge! And he dares lecture me, when he knows - when he knows how much -”
Katara sniffled and Zuko covered her hand with his. The warmth was soothing.
“When he knows how much her loss hurts.”, Katara whispered. “He could have been a bit more empathetic. I always try to understand his feelings, why can he not do the same?”
“That I cannot answer.”, Zuko admitted. “Perhaps Aang is focusing on defeating my father and after everything is won, the loss comes crashing down. Or he has digested it already. Either way, he could have been more open-minded…especially since he loves you. Or so it seems. You did know about that, didn’t you?”, he asked when he felt Katara tense.
“I’ve had a hunch, but I’ve ignored it so far. At some point, this topic will come up and I’m not sure I want it to.”
“You do not reciprocate?”
“...There was a time when I thought I did. Madam Wu said something about me marrying a powerful bender, and that was what kind of pushed Aang into this…I don’t know, role of that bender? But that was months ago and the more I dwell on it, the more I am certain I love him as a friend and brother.”
The words poured out of her mouth. It felt good to finally vent and she felt lighter afterwards. Zuko was a good listener and she was grateful.
“Thank you, Zuko. For listening.”
“Always.”
By now, it was getting late and they planned on leaving early. Katara played with the edges of her bedroll and glanced over at Zuko.
“Would you mind if I scooted a bit closer?”, she asked and he shook his head. Karara still left a gap between them. Both were in their respective bedrolls, but there was something Katara still had to ask.
“When did you get so wise?”, she teased him. “Or did you hide it well underneath the hotheadedness?”
Zuko laughed. “I’ve been travelling with my uncle for three years. You pick up a thing or two.”
“Your uncle sounds like a nice man. Aang and Toph hold him in high regard.”
“He is. I’ve often felt unworthy of his patience and wisdom, and I’ve only begun appreciating them a while ago. Agni, I was the worst, and he just...accepted it. He stayed and I betrayed him.”
“Because he loves you.”, Katara said, quick to reassure him when Zuko’s voice broke. “He stayed because he loves you and because he sensed how you must have been feeling. We - We all want to please our parents, even if they do us wrong. Iroh will forgive you. I have only met him briefly in Ba Sing Se, but from what I’ve heard he does not seem like someone who…holds a grudge for a misstep.”
They looked at each other, their eyes shining with tears and Zuko pulled Katara’s bedroll closer. No more words were spoken, Zuko’s squeeze of Katara’s hand being enough to communicate his gratitude. Katara squeezed back.
Their fingers stayed interlaced and Zuko slept with his scar exposed to the night..