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"I don't want to lose you. I understand you likely very much do not want me, and I completely understand why. But I would and will do anything to fix it."
"Please, I'm sorry. I know you're probably sleeping but I'm sorry."
"Anything. Nothing is too much, I'll do anything. Please."
"Please give me a chance to make it right. I selfishly want to believe you accidentally fell asleep. You have every reason to not want to talk to me but still…"
"I just don't want you to think you're easy to lose and I also don't want to be the idiot who lost you."
"You're just going to keep going quiet, aren't you? Do you want me to make things easy and just end shit here or do you want to figure it out?"
"This isn't on you. I know it feels like it is because that's the way I've acted but you mean everything to me."
"When you realize how easy it can be with someone else, you will want them."
"I'd rather you just didn't say anything at this point."
"Every time I say anything about my feelings lately it's just silence on your end."
"I don't care if you're sorry. Too little, too late."
"I don't know when you're going to sit still for long enough for me to even start talking."
"Please. I promise you this will never happen again. I know you don't trust that but I swear I'll do anything, please."
Chase gasped awake, ripping his sleeping mask and noise cancelling headphones off. He barged out of his capsule which had suddenly made him feel claustrophobic. The brunette practically fell out of the glass cage, gasping for air. He couldn't do this. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't feel his face, he couldn't feel his hands. All he could do was hear his voice echoing through the halls. Chase's vision went blurry. He needed out.
Out he went.
The second he could muster up enough strength to make his legs work, he bolted it out of the room he shared with Oliver and Kaz, thanking science that both were heavy sleepers. He ran down the stairs, into the living room and out the glass door to the balcony.
No amount of fresh air was enough for his greedy lungs. Maybe if he had just been good enough, things would've been different.
The tears finally started streaming down his cheeks, their contact with the crisp morning air making him shiver. The city was awake. Even at this hour. It was too bright and too loud for it to be this early.
Chase let out a strangled sob. Each time, he'd think he was doing better, the past would manage to find new ways to haunt him. Chase got down on his knees, hugging himself. Where was Adam's bone crushing hugs when he needed them? More sobs made their way out of his throat, not enough air making its way in. Tears kept coming. Chase felt pathetic. He should've been over this by now.
The bionic teenager tried to wipe away his tears upon hearing footsteps approaching the living room. He didn't know which teammate walking in on him would've been worse.
Oliver would be very awkward, it would make Chase want to jump off the balcony.
Bree? He hoped it wasn't Bree. His sister, as nonchalant as she looked, worried a lot. He had told her he had been doing better. He couldn't betray her trust and make her worry like that. Besides, neither of them knew how to properly have an emotional conversation.
Skylar was probably the least horrible option. Then again, he would've already had a chat with her like Kaz had advised him to, if he was actually ready to do so.
Leaving Kaz. The only one Chase couldn't make any assumptions about. That only made him fear more.
Chase sniffled as he got on his feet, trying to look slightly more put together as the footsteps approached closer. He cursed under his breath. It was Kaz.
He knew each teammate by the sound of their footsteps, the sounds of their breathing, their heartbeat. He was slightly disappointed in himself for not realizing who it was sooner. But then again, he was going through a mental breakdown, Leo would've told him to cut himself some slack.
Chase finally saw Kaz as the pyrokinetic boy dashed into the balcony, a worried look plastered on his face.
Chase opened his mouth to say something, anything, yet all that came out was a sigh and a relatively high-pitched whine. That alone almost made him fall apart again. Why couldn't he talk? Why was it always silence on his end when it came to feelings?
"What's wrong Smarties?"
Chase observed Kaz's posture. The guy looked cautious. As if approaching a wild animal who was trapped in a corner. Chase hadn't realized he could feel more pathetic than he already did until then.
"... 'M fine-" slurred and strangled words of mush left Chase's mouth. His tongue felt heavy. He still couldn't breathe. His face still felt like TV static.
Kaz frowned. Chase wanted to disappear.
"What do you need, buddy?"
Chase felt himself shatter. Another sob wrecked his body.
"Hug. Please."
Chase didn't even have the time to dwell on how desperate and whiney he had sounded due to how fast Kaz had obliged to his request.
Suddenly he was being engulfed in buff, bulky arms. Said arms squeezed him so tight that, for a moment, he thought he was going to choke. That squeeze was the very thing that managed to snap Chase back into reality. It stopped his face from feeling like TV static, ironically allowing some air into his lungs.
The bionic teenager zoned out after that.
Once Chase fully came to his senses again, they were no longer on the balcony floor, but on the couch. He was still being hugged by Kaz who was seemingly focused on the television screen. Which was odd considering he didn't hear-
Chase wanted to melt. Kaz was watching a show, completely muted with subtitles on.
"You could've just-"
"You needed some peace and quiet. You also needed to be grounded before you floated too high up."
Chase looked down, his face dripping in shame. He gently peeled himself off of Kaz, missing the touch immediately.
"Are you ready to talk, Smarties?"
The question held no judgement, no urgency, no force. It was just a question. Not an attack.
"I think I should talk to Skylar first. Like you said."
"You can come to me afterwards. Or whenever you want. I'll be here."
Kaz smiled. Chase felt his cheeks heat up.
"Thank you for the squeeze and the…" he didn't finish the sentence, just vaguely motioned the show that was still playing, still muted.
"I just tried my best to help."
"It was exactly what I needed."