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The party was like a living thing, alive and thriving. Everyone was in high spirits, alcohol flowing with music wrapping all around them. The soft glow of the chandelier reflecting, giving out the illusion as if they're in a dream. Laughter ringing from different directions, conversations rhythmic both from drunken murmurs and serious talks all does nothing but intrigue the pair. Ling and Orm was in the middle of it all, hand in hand as they usually are. Orm ever the clingy one, always hung on her Phi's arms. They're like two magnets, one North and one South completely attracted to each other.
It was a small party in celebration for the 1st year anniversary of The Secret of Us and the incoming release of Only You. Phi Cherry was talking rather loudly, a little inebriated from the champagne that she specifically requested. Orm was matching her energy, a funny banter making Ling laugh along as she flex her hand in between Orm's. She looked at the younger woman, glowing even in her simple make up and bright golden hair. Her dimple casting a deep shadow in between her cheeks. It makes Ling's heart pound in her chest the longer she stared, losing herself in Orm's natural charm, the warmth in how she smiles, the animated almost comical way in which she speaks. Ling is undoubtedly in love, she knows and maybe everyone knows. Her eyes never lie. Orm glanced at her, she probably felt the intense gaze Ling has on her, she raised her eyebrows in a question, a small smile still on her lips. Ling only smiled and shook her head, willing herself to focus back to Phi Cherry's story. Orm nuzzled into her hair quickly, a random involuntary display of affection that Ling still hasn't gotten used to. The nonchalance of how the younger woman displays her affection makes the raven haired girl tremble both in anticipation and a little fear. Fear that whatever Orm does with her is not special. Fear that whatever they have is just how Orm loves her friends. Admittedly, they have not talked about what they are or even acknowledged the feelings they have. All this time, what they have going on is just their natural chemistry. Drawn into each other, drawn into the comfort they naturally pull out from each other.
Ling was lost in her mind amidst all the people but was pulled back in the conversation when P'Eclair joked from across the table, "So, N'Orm. How's it feel to be dating?"
Ling abruptly looked at Orm again, ears perked for whatever Orm will say.
"What??! No. I'm not dating anyone!", Orm laughed loudly, dismissing the idea completely.
"I thought you guys were supposed to go on an omakase date? Isn't that dating?", P'Eclair teased.
"Oh! Yeah! P'Ling wanted was inviting me. I can't say no to my bestie, you know and besides, I can always trust her judgement on food. I wanted to come but I got admitted to the hospital instead. Sorry P'Ling.", Ling knew Orm was still apologetic about that. That date was supposed to be the day Ling will confess to Orm but it didn't happen. Maybe it was for the better because right now the blond just dismissed the idea of dating anyone.
"Best friend? I guess that's how it is. That's just what we'll be."
"It's okay.", she managed to say, forcing a small smile.
"Besides P'Eclair, I'm not into anyone right now. I can't even date if I want to, my schedule is packed."
"She's not into anyone right now. Meaning she's not into me. I really am just a bestfriend to her.", Ling thought bitterly.
"We're too busy now, right P'Ling?"
"Y-yeah. We're too busy.", Ling said distractedly. Her hopes faded into nothing.
She caught the eye of Mae Koy across the table. A knowing gaze pointed on her as if she can see that conflicting emotions brewing inside Ling. She forced a smile towards the older woman, Mae just nodded at her kindly, her motherly gaze unwavering.
Orm was oblivious to the unexpected pain she inflicted on Ling. Her hands still casually draped over the older woman as she interacted with everybody. Orm's hands on her has always been a delight but that night, it was suffocating. She gently withdrew her hand from Orm's grasp and pretended to quietly drink some champagne. The younger woman barely noticed as she was laughing to something Eclair said.
Ling stood up quietly before working her way to the bathroom. She locked herself in, needing to breathe through whatever damning pain she's in. She needs to be the mature one at this moment, she needs to be able to handle her emotions. She knows that Orm is young, just fresh out of college while rising too quickly into stardom. Her dreams are yet to materialize, she knew deep down that the younger woman is not ready for whatever Ling wants but her impatient, reckless heart started falling the moment she kissed Orm during their audition for TSOU. It all cascaded from there, just an avalanche of memories and experiences shared between them that now lodged itself into the fragile thing that is her heart.
She opened the faucet and ran her hands across the water, trying to wash out the pain and the dismay she feels but it's not working. The pain is still a living breathing thing inside her refusing to drown.
She stared at herself in the mirror and carefully constructed her face into something alike joy. She's an actress after all and a damn good one at that, she can survive this night and the days after. She'll just have to get through this one night to think of a plan on how to tamper her feelings for her co-star without destroying their friendship and chemistry. Once she felt ready, she nodded to herself hand on the doorknob mentally counting out ... 3 , 2, 1 ACTION!
And action she did, her smile brighter than when the party started, she interacted with everyone humoring even the most ridiculous jokes. The only noticeable change was that her hand is not enclosed to Orm's and she's sitting a few inches further that only the most detailed person can notice. And Orm is a detailed woman, her body naturally inclined to lean to Lingling, when she reached for her Phi's hands she was met with empty air as the older woman suddenly reached for her glass. Her hand fell on the space between them. Orm stared at her a little confused frown etched on her face, she can see her Phi's smile but there's a tightness in the corners of her eyes, her smile looks put on, the kind of smile she does when she dog tired from their events. She knows her Lingling Kwong. She knows something is wrong.
She carefully scooted closer to her Phi and whispered, "Lingling Kwong, are you okay?"
Ling met her gaze, her carefully constructed facade gave way for a few seconds before she caught herself, "Yeah. I'm good Nong.", she smiled at her, that forced smile that Orm can detect from a million miles away. Ling turned back to Khun Dew, their conversation flowing something about the gym and Ling's action scenes on their new show but Orm can barely focus. Her mind reeling trying to understand why Ling was acting all of a sudden. Was it something she said? Does her Phi have a problem? Is she tired? Her mind came up with endless questions but no answer came. Her Lingling Kwong acted flawlessly, no signs of discomfort to the untrained eyes, only to Orm.
Unbeknownst to them, Mae Koy was quietly observing the two. The words that came out of her daughter's mouth undoubtedly hurt Lingling. She can only shake her head at her reckless child. The sudden change in Ling's demeanor say alot and to Mae Koy, it was an acceptable reaction to pain. Although Ling looks okay now, she's sure that the older of the two is battling some unseen war in her chest. She can only pray to God that her clueless child can figure it out because she's not gonna tell her. She'll have to learn this one on her own.
The party ended, the team in different states of intoxication. The managers all corralled the most drunk ones to a nearby hotel they booked. Ling walked a few steps ahead besides P'Mam while Orm was besides Mae Koy. They reached the parking lot quickly. Ling continued walking to her car, not stopping to say her goodbyes. In her mind, she's urged to run away as quickly as possible. Orm ran to her before stepping in front of her P'Ling.
"Lingling Kwong. No goodbye?", Orm pouted, eyes wide using her adorable puppy eyes.
Ling was taken aback, her heart melting at the adorable creature in front of her. "Oh. Sorry Nong. I'm just tired. I'll head out now. Get home safe. Goodbye." before trying to side step Orm to go to her car.
But Orm was faster she stepped closer to her Phi. Almost into her personal space. "No hug?", whining a little, she's a little tipsy from the champagne, needing that physical touch from her person. Her arms wide open for Ling to step through.
Ling just stared at her, eyes unreadable as she patted Orm's head, "Go home now Nong. You're tipsy. Say goodbye to Mae for me, okay?"
The older woman managed to evade the hug as she side stepped and doubled her walking speed to her car. She quickly got situated and locked herself in. A sigh both in relief and longing escaped her lips, making her driver look back at her in concern. "I'm good, let's go home home Khun Wisanu." The older man nodded before driving out the building.
Orm was left standing om the parking lot, her hands clutching her blazer as she stared at the older woman's back. Ling didn't hug her goodbye. It left her feeling empty and emotional. Her mom came by her side, offering a gentle pat on the back before leading her to their car. Orm sat quietly, thinking of what happened between them.
"Mae?"
"Yes dear?"
"Did I do something wrong?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did you see P'Ling? She didn't hug me! She didn't say goodbye properly. I- she's so cold to me. Did I do something Mae? Did I say something?", Orm was whining, clearly shocked by the sudden coldness of the older woman.
"I don't know. Maybe she's just tired.", making up some excuse for Ling's behavior.
"Maybe I should call her. I'll call her.", quickly taking out her phone to dial Ling's number.
"No. Let her rest for tonight. She's probably really tired."
"But, I wanna talk to her.", she's pouting again. A tinge of sadness on her tone.
"Talk to her tomorrow you guys have a schedule tomorrow afternoon.", Koy said. Consciously letting Ling have her space for now from her unruly child.
Orm sat still, her usual chatter tempered by the raging thoughts swirling in her mind. They reached their house in a breeze, the usual Bangkok traffic eased as night sunk deeper. Orm dragged herself to her room, a cloud of sadness rolling over her as she tried to recall what she did to get Ling acting like that towards her. She fell asleep, still dreaming of Ling's cold but sad eyes as she said her formal goodbyes.
---
The afternoon shoot came faster than usual, Orm had to drag herself to jump start the day. Her mind coming up with a thousand scenarios on how to get closer to her Phi, to pry out what's been bothering her.
She came in the studio, all bouncy uncontrollable energy as usual. She bounced over to where Lingling is. Yes. Bounced. Because despite the sadness from the night before she missed the raven haired woman as clingy as that sounds.
"Jiejie! Good afternoon!"
Ling was shocked by the sudden onslaught of arms wrapping around her. Almost making the both of them topple over. Her body used to boundless energy of the younger woman automatically steadied the both of them. She didn't go through all those long arduous gym sessions if she can't lift Orm to safety if need be.
"Nong. Good afternoon." As she consciously removed her arms around Orm's waist. She forced a smile to appease the younger woman that's now pouting at her.
"Jiejie. Are you okay?" Noticing the prominent eyebags in contrast to her beautiful face. Her eyebrows furrow into a frown as she noticed that Ling's arms are not around her like she used to.
"Yes. I'm good, Nong." Her answers quick and polite. Orm can feel the divide. It's like they're back to square one again.
She gently removed her arms around Ling. Her lips about to utter her questions but her mother interrupted the two.
"Nong. Let's get you to hair and make-up. N'Ling finish up your make-up, okay?"
"Yes Mae." As she bowed with her hands in a wai gesture. She quickly glanced at Orm before nodding. Leaving the mother and daughter to finish her preparations.
Orm looked at her mom, eyes questioning as she try to get a hold of her emotions. Her mother looked at her, a gentle gaze reminding her to get it together for the shoot. She took a deep breath before heading to her chair. Silence enveloped her as she runs her mind all possible reasons why Ling is suddenly acting cold towards her.
Mae Koy is graciously giving Ling and Orm space. Whatever comes first she'll take, either for Ling to nurse her heart back together or her own daughter to figure out what she feels for the older woman. She'll need to stand on the sidelines for this one, she knows her daughter will figure it out eventually but there's fear mixed in there, a maternal instinct to protect them both from hurting each other. She knows Ling is closed off, a private person even on her closest friends and family but her daughter is like an open book, too young, too honest, too reckless and she can be pushy. Koy is afraid that her daughter will push Ling to close herself up even more. She'll look over both of them until they figure out what to do.
Once they are all dolled up, the photographer called them both over. Ling stood a few inches away from Orm, but the blond is not having it. She bravely held Ling's hand, fingers fully intertwined together as she listened to the photographer's directions.
Ling for her part was trying to keep it steady, ears trained to the photographer taking in his directions word for word. She can feel Orm's hand on her, pressed tightly an indication that Orm knew there's something wrong. They're best friends after all, of course Orm knows.
They stood on their marks. Ling looked unsure. Her gaze flutter and around the set trying to come up of casual topics to discuss with the younger woman while the photographer making last minute adjustments.
"Jiejie."
Ling snapped head to the direction of Orm's voice. "Hmm?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Huh? What?"
"Are you mad at me?" Her doe eyes asking a million questions.
"No. Why would you think that?"
"Because I know you."
"I-I'm okay Orm. I'm not mad at you. Really. Just a little tired.", tired of these damn feelings, but of course she won't say that.
"Hug?"
"Huh?"
"Energy boost boost?"
Ling cannot deny Orm if anything so she stepped closer, hugging the younger woman that snuggled closer to her. She felt Orm breathe her in like she usually does but Ling didn't linger in the hug, cutting it off short before smiling a little at the younger woman. Her hands drop uselessly on her sides as Orm smiled back at her.
"Hmm. Boost boost.", Ling replied trying to focus on the moment.
Orm felt it. The divide drifting further, the way Ling dropped her arms a little too quickly almost made Orm panic and whine. But Ling smiled at her, a fraction of the smile she used to and maybe that's enough for the day. Orm won't push harder in fear that she's making her P'Ling uncomfortable.
"Okay girls. We'll start. Come closer to each other and stare at each other's eyes. Let's go with that."
Ling and Orm are professionals, their natural chemistry covering up the underlying awkwardness of unsaid feelings and confused thoughts. They hugged, laughed, held hands, stared at each other's eyes a little too naturally. No sense of awkwardness can be seen through the camera lens before they know it, they had to change sets and outfits.
Ling walked ahead, a step in front Orm. Orm let Ling walk off. Usually they'd be holding hands, talking and laughing all the way to the dressing room but the underlying tension makes Orm's anxiety boil over rendering her speechless. She looked for her mom when they reached the dressing area.
"Mae. Mae. P'Ling. She's avoiding me.", she whispered with a little tremble in her voice.
"Avoiding you? How? Did you talk to her?"
Orm nodded, "She said she's just tired but when I boosted her energy she just cut off our hug short. I feel like she's mad at me. Mae, what do I do?"
"Oh my poor clueless baby", Mae Koy thought.
"Maybe she's just really tired."
"But she's not like that! Even when she's tired she - she still holds me.", stuttering in her confusion.
"Well, maybe she's extra tired. Just give her some space Nong. She'll come around."
"But, I miss her.", Orm's eyes quickly fill with tears, silently streaming down her face.
Mae Koy quickly wiped her tears, her heart breaking for her daughter but understanding where Ling is coming from.
"Nooong. I'm sorry but you need to focus on the shoot right now. You can talk with your P'Ling after, okay?" Patting her daughter's head, shielding her from prying eyes in the corner of the room.
Orm ever the obedient child nodded and wiped her face. Quickly putting on her game face on. "Okay. Sorry Mae. I'll try not to over think it. I'll talk to her later."
"Okay. Good. Now we need to get your makeup done. Come with me.", Koy led her daughter to her chair. Glancing at Ling, eyes closed, visibly stopping herself from going to Orm.
Koy can only sigh. These two and their too big emotions.
Ling saw it at the corner of her eyes, Orm's tears and oh God, it took all of her to stop herself from running over and apologizing for being a cold asshole. It took all of her not to comfort her favorite person for making her cry. Ling closed her eyes and breathe through it. She just needs a little time to get over what she's feeling for Orm and then she can go back to being her best friend. That's it. That's the game plan, even if it feels like ripping her heart out.
The shoot shuffled through five sets and five outfit changes. It went by in a breeze. Orm felt her heart heavy on her chest because in front of the camera it's like they're back to their usual banter but once one set ended, Ling would drop her smile and their hands before walking a step ahead of Orm. Rushing to get her makeup done and outfit changed. Almost as if she's being burned by being close to Orm. Orm became increasingly antsy, her hands fidgeting on the make up table, glancing every few seconds to her P'Ling which didn't spare her a glance. It makes her so sad, it's like they're strangers again. She now understands why people said Ling can be intimidating, she's radiating a cool detached aura that Orm can't seem to breach. It left her sighing throughout the whole afternoon.
The shoot ended. Ling rushed to get changed, leaving her make up with pure intent to leave first. Orm followed along, her dress being on a little tighter side, so much so that they needed to carefully unravel the ties on the back not to ruin the dress. She thought Ling was still outside waiting for her when she's done changing to her casual clothes. She rushed outside to hoping to have a few minutes of talk with her P'Ling, maybe even invite her to dinner.
She looked around for a certain raven haired woman. She spotted P'Mam talking with the photographer making final adjustments and arrangements.
"P'Mam! Where's P'Ling?"
"Nong Orm. She already left. She said she had somewhere to be."
"What? That quickly?"
"Yes. She didn't even remove her make up. She was in a rush."
"Did she say where she was going?"
"No. Sorry Nong. She doesn't have a schedule after this and I usually doesn't monitor her personal time."
"Oh. Okay. Thank you P'Mam. I'll be leaving too.", she hugged the older woman goodbye before dragging herself to her mom.
"Mae. Let's go home."
Mae Koy just nodded carrying some of Orm's things before getting to their car. She knew Ling left already, the raven haired girl hugged her before leaving, making up some excuse when she knew all along that she was just avoiding Orm. Koy let her go, patting her head still in adoration. Ling muttered apologies before rushing to her car when she heard Orm finishing up.
Tears spill on Orm's eyes once they're on the safety of their car. Mae Koy can only hold her daughter's hand.
"Mae? What did I do wrong with P'Ling? Why is she avoiding me?", her daughter crying like a child asking for guidance.
Mae Koy swallowed the facts and stopped herself from pointing out the obvious. It's cruel but Orm needs to figure it out on her own, she can't dictate their feelings or else they'll second doubt it when the time comes.
"I don't know nong. You have a re-shoot tomorrow for Only You. You can talk to her then."
"She hates me."
"You and I both know that she doesn't."
Orm nodded, remembering how gentle her P'Ling was with her throughout the shoot. Giving her water during breaks, fixing her hair, twirling her gently with her arms on her waist. She can't forget the softness in her eyes while shooting and she knows that's not acting. That's how Lingling Kwong used to look at her.
She bit her lip in a desperate attempt to stop herself from crying. She can't seem to understand the gaping hole the older woman is leaving in her chest. All she can think about is how she misses the raven haired woman.
Orm sat on her bed, phone in hand. She's contemplating if she should call Ling or just let her rest for now. She doesn't even know what she'll say.
She gave up and laid on her bed. Waiting for sleep to consume her.
---
Ling was on set earlier than all their co-stars. In her hands are a couple sets of coffee and pastry for everyone. She was supposed to just buy one for Orm but she didn't want to make it so obvious that that's her simple way of apologizing.
She laid the spread in the middle before settling down. She felt Orm come in before she saw her. Her boundless energy dimmed by the pout on her face. She looked at the younger woman, Orm's steps faltered before walking towards her with determination. She sat down besides Ling. Ling's heart was pounding in her chest, ignoring the younger woman has proved harder than the pain she felt that night.
"Lingling Kwong.", Orm called her but not in her usual tone, there's sadness in her amber eyes. Something that Ling never wants to see in the other woman's eyes.
"Nong?", she answered.
Orm bit her lip, there's hesitation radiating all over her, Ling observed. "Good morning.", she finally whispered.
"Hmm. Good morning nong. Here, have some coffee.", as she handed Orm the coffee she got for her and some brownies.
Orm wordlessly accepted it before mumbling a quiet, "Thank you, Jiejie."
Oh it broke Ling's heart. She didn't know what she was doing will hurt them this much. There's a small childish part of her that whispers her to keep doing it until she's over her feelings but that bigger more mature part of her begs to put Orm's feelings above her. She's conflicted but one look at Orm silenced her thoughts, the younger woman now munching quietly on the brownies without her usual brightness, no exaggerated movements, no shouts of joy. Ling mentally smacked her head for making Orm feel this way around her.
Before Ling can utter a word for some lame attempt to connect with Orm, the crew filtered in, glancing at the two leads sitting on the table and having breakfast together but there's a noticeable silence between them, something they never see when they're seated together. It leaves the room cold and lifeless.
Mae Koy make a beeline to where her two girls are. One, sitting with her head down munching on some brownie and one glancing at the other every few sips of her coffee. Koy flinched at the awkwardness, she's worried that the shoot will produce terrible results due to the conflicy between the two. She sat by her daughter, Orm looked up at her before handing her some coffee. "Mae, P'Lingling brought coffee."
"Thank you Nong."
"Good morning Mae. You're welcome."
Mae Koy sat back, glancing at the two letting them brew over their own feelings, hoping that all these confusion can lead to them finally understanding what they feel for each other. It seems like the only two people that doesn't know their own feelings are the two of them. If she weren't so endeared by the tension, she would have snapped a long time ago.
The re-shoot happened quickly. Some minor details they needed to polish before the release, some re-imagined angles and close ups that P'Nay insisted will make the final cut even better.
There was one scene when Ira was supposed to confront Tawan about her feelings. It included a lot of crying and was shoot in endless angles that Orm was almost breathless by the end of it. Ling's heart broke, not as Tawan but herself. Seeing Orm cry like that was both show stopping but also intensely painful for the both of them. When they heard the word CUT, shouted at them. Orm fell down on the couch, breath heaving, tears still streaming. Ling instinctively went down with her, handing her a bottle of water before engulfing her in a giant hug of comfort. It felt like the wrong move at the time because instead of stopping, Orm cried even harder, hands clutched on Ling's back, bodies pressed as if they're alone. All Ling managed to do was whisper, "I'm here. I'm here baobao. Don't cry. I'm here.", running her hands across the blond's soft luscious hair. Orm held on for a couple of minutes, trying to find some semblance of sanity or emotional maturity. She squeezed her P'Ling one more time before nodding and letting go. Ling immediately wiped her tears and looked at her with those soft worried eyes that almost made her burst out crying again. Orm looked away quickly before muttering a quiet "Thank you". Ling has been extra attentive to her the next few scenes, making sure she's okay and that she's comfortable. It was as if there's nothing wrong with them the past few days. Orm can almost pretend they're okay.
Before they know it the shoot was over. The set bursted with applause as Ling and Orm said their final lines. Ling looked at Orm, smiled etched on her face as she memorized the expression of joy and relief clearly shown by the younger woman. Orm twirled and preened like a cat, looking every bit as proud and relieved as everyone in the room. The moment their eyes met, amber eyes meeting chocolate ones, Orm jumped into Ling's arms. Ling welcomed her embrace, hands securely wrapped around the blond keeping her steady despite the constant jumping. The hug was both relief and gratitude for each other that they finished the re-shoot amazingly. Ling and Orm went to their respective dressing rooms, ready to retire for the day.
The looming cloud of storm between them was set aside for a little while.
The set dwindled down, the sun setting on the horizon as the team calmly cleaned the set. Ling found herself exhausted both from the shoot and the constant touch Orm has on her. She dragged her tired body upstairs to one of the storage rooms where she knows no one goes unless they need some old wardrobe.
She laid down the couch and immediately fell asleep, the past days has taken so much toll on her mind and body that sleep immediately consumed her.
Orm on one hand was a ball of restless energy, she immediately changed into her casual outfit and looked for her P'Lingling. She needs to talk to her, maybe even confront her. The day has been hard on her, the re-shoots included a lot of intimate scenes and close up shots of them crying and confronting each other. It was draining. She just desperately needs one hug from her person.
Her spotted P'Mam again, this time with fear that Ling already left again.
"P'Mam? Did P'Ling already leave?"
"No. Her car is still here. She's probably just roaming around somewhere."
"Okay. Thank you. I'll look for her."
Orm walked around the set, looking for a raven haired woman that has been purposely avoiding her. She explored the whole set but there's no Lingling Kwong on site. She thought hard about all the time they've shoot in this house, Ira's house, remembering all the tiny details and the lay-out of the house, thinking of all the rooms her P'Ling used to hide. Wait. The storage room! She walked fast to the second floor, her steps heavy with determination as she approached the door. She knocked a couple of times, warning the older woman of her arrival. When she opened the door she was greeted with a sleeping Lingling Kwong. Her tall frame wrapped perfectly by the huge couch on the side of the room. She walked calmly to where the older woman is, her heart racing as she took in the sight of her peace. She gingerly sat down besides Ling in the couch, trying not to disturb the older woman. Her hand hovered over Ling's face, longing to touch her, just to feel her warmth. Hesitation poured out of her the longer she sat there. Ling's arms are sprawled over the edge of the couch, looking almost like an invitation for Orm to cuddle into her.
Orm impulsively kicked off her shoes and slowly laid down on Ling's arm, careful not to wake her up. Their faces only a few inches apart as she breathed her in. Her angelic face, framed by those luscious raven hair, chocolate eyes hidded behind her lids, perfect lashes line up brushing her cheeks, her full lips a little swollen from their intimate scenes, her mole so neatly placed on her cheek so innately designed by God. Her Lingling Kwong is so beautiful. Ling leaned over as if sensing Orm even in her sleep slowly wrapped her right arm around Orm's waist. Orm was shocked but then she all but melted into the embrace, her head immediately settled on the crook of Ling's neck as if she belongs there and maybe she does. She has felt Ling's arms around her just cuddling on a bed, both as Earn and Ira but never just as Orm. She selfishly wrapped her arm around Ling and pressed closer, needing her warmth. Her tired mind and ragged body was slowly lulled into sleep by Ling's steady breathing.
Ling slowly woke up, she's warm, too warm. Eyes still closed, her brain barely registering anything on her surroundings but there's a faint hit of citrus scent, Orm's perfume lingering in the air. Her right arm feels numb and there's a weight settled on the crook of her neck. Her left arm unconsciously glinding across smooth skin. Smooth skin? Her eyes snapped open. She was greeted with a sight of blond hair. Blond hair? It took all of her willpower not to jump up. She remained laying down but she consciously removed her left hand UNDER Orm's shirt. She's panicking a little. Overwhelmed by the onslaught of emotions Orm is making her feel. Orm is cuddled entirely into her, arms and legs wrapped around her, fully sleeping almost on top of Ling. Ling doesn't know how they ended up cuddled in this couch but she can only guess that Orm probably wanted to talk to her and decided to lay down besides her when she saw her sleeping. Probably nonchalantly too. As always, her clingy nong. Orm murmured in her sleep, some undecipherable words that melted Ling's heart. Orm really is adorable, even in her sleep. Orm's hand bunched over her shirt, as if afraid to let go. Her breath hitting the side of Ling's neck, making her feel ticklish and burn up. Orm settled even closer, lips connected to Ling's neck making her flinch a little. Torn between pushing away and pulling closer. Ling was aware of all the skin contact, the intense warmth both from the outside and inside, her skin feels on fire. Orm shifted, slowly waking up too from her nap. She felt Orm stiffen probably afraid that Ling's also awake. Ling laid as still as possible, not wanting to embarrass the younger woman or scare her off.
Orm nuzzled her face into Ling's neck one more time. Ling thought she'll be standing up to leave. Ling pretended to sleep even harder, regulating her breathing as much as she can even if her heart feels like it'll beat out of her chest.
"Lingling Kwong?", she heard Orm whisper.
"Are you still asleep?", still whispering, voice a little hoarse from her sleep.
She heard Orm sigh, her hand still tangled in Ling's shirt before settling her head on Ling's collarbones. Ling is so sure Orm can hear her heart beat but the younger one didn't seem to comment on it.
"Lingling Kwong. I miss you. I miss you so much. Please don't be mad at me anymore. I can't take it. I can't have my favorite person avoiding me like this."
Ling didn't respond, wanting to hear out Orm. She felt tear slowly dripping across her collarbones. Orm's in tears again.
"I didn't know what I did or said that made feel like you need to distance yourself. I'm sorry. I know I'm being selfish cuddling into you or even touching you but, I can't help myself. I miss your touch, your smile, the way you listen and laugh with me. I miss you so much my Lingling Kwong. I don't know how mad you are, I just wish you can forgive me."
Ling's heart broke, hearing Orm cry for her forgiveness when honestly, she didn't do anything wrong but be perfect in Ling's eyes. She loves the younger woman but she knows she's not ready yet and it hurts her more than she likes to admit. Ling should be the one begging for forgiveness for making her precious baobao feel like this.
The raven haired girl slowly wrapped her arms around Orm, pulling her even closer before running her hands on her hair.
Orm suddenly looked up at her, tears glistening on those amber eyes.
"Jiejie?"
Ling took in the sight of her before silently wiping away her tears. "I'm sorry nong. Jiejie is not mad. Please don't cry. You're breaking my heart."
Instead of stopping, Orm's tears flooded even more, big rivulet of tears too fast to wipe away, lips trembling as she held on to Ling a little tighter.
"Oh. No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry nong. Don't cry baobao. I'm here. I'm here.", she whispered over and over again.
Orm sniffed, a little pout on her lips as she stared at the older woman.
"Lingling Kwong. Why were you avoiding me?"
"I was no-"
"Don't lie, please. Just tell me what I did wrong and I promise I won't do it again."
"Noong. I was just going through something personal. I'm sorry."
"Personal? Something you can't tell me?"
Ling sighed, there's no use hiding it now. Might as well rip the bandaid while they're telling truths.
"Okay. But promise not to avoid me after hearing it, hmm?"
Orm's heart hammer in her chest, fear that Ling will say something she can't accept if Ling is making her promise.
"Is it bad? Do you need help?"
"No. Not really."
"Tell me."
They're still cuddle into each other barely registering anything else but each other's warmth.
"I fell in love with someone."
Orm heard the words but her mind refused to process them.
"Huh?"
Ling repeated slowly. "I fell in love with someone. They're delicate and adorable and absolutely breathtaking."
Orm's mind raced through a thousand men and women that had any contact with the two of them. She's trying to guess who amongst their peers, or staff? Or maybe non-showbiz? But they're together all the time. Surely, Ling can't have time to go around dating anyone, right? Orm's eyebrows furrow deeply, she can't understand the irrational jealous bubbling out of her chest. Well, she can because Lingling Kwong is hers, right? They're each other's person, their safe zone. How come Ling never said anything about somebody in the mix?
Ling brought her back to the present by smoothing out her eyebrows, a small amused smile on her lips.
"Nong. Are you listening?"
"Y-yes. It's just that you didn't tell me about anybody else."
"I'm telling you now. Listen, okay? Focus on me."
Orm nodded but she can't stop the pout bursting out of her. Her hands instinctively held on to Ling's shirt tighter, making the older woman chuckle a little.
"Okay. So, I fell in love with someone. I realized a couple night ago that she's not ready to be dating anybody right now, or is not even interested in anyone and it hurt me more than I like to admit. I was hurt and the only way I thought I could deal with it was to avoid her."
Again, Orm heard the words but she's taking a little time to process. Ling just patiently stared at her while she deciphered every word, hands gently caressing her hair.
Wait. Her? Not dating anybody? Not interested in anyone? Avoid?
Oh SHIT. Orm's mind flashed back to the party. The words she carelessly said to P'Eclair in the midst of the wine and the laughter. The way Ling avoided her hand like a plague the whole night, the way she sidestepped away from their goodbye hug. She hurt Ling without her knowing. She knew something was wrong but she didn't know she caused it. She eyes grew wide in recognition. "P'Lingling."
"It's okay, Orm. I should be the one apologizing, sorry for being childish. I'll just be honest. I do love you, quite a lot actually. But, I'll work on it and I won't let it affect our work and our friendship. I'm sorry Nong. I never wanted to make you cry or hurt you."
"You-you love me?"
"Of course I do. Who wouldn't fall for you? You're smart, funny, talented and the Gods gave you a face on an angel."
Orm's heart feels like it'll burst and create a whole new universe, supernovas in her chest.
"Let me clarify, you love more than friendship??" Orm eagerly waited for Ling's reply, hands excitedly shaking against Ling's waist.
"Yes.", Ling's eyebrows furrow. She can't understand why Orm is clarifying.
"But don't worry. I promise I won't don't anything that will make you uncomfortable, or make any moves that will ruin us." Which is saying a lot based on their position on the couch.
"You won't make any move?"
"Well you said you weren't interested in anyone. I'm your best friend after all. I should understand, right?"
"Lingling Kwong. You do realize that you're not just anyone, right?"
"Uh yeah. I'm your best friend. I know."
"Oh God we're so stupid." Orm buried her face against Ling's chest, burrowing deeply into her Lingling Kwong. Hiding the blush threatening to consume her whole.
"Orm?"
Orm peeked at her P'Ling. "I can't believe how clueless we both are."
"Clueless?"
Orm suddenly sat down, pulling Ling up with her. She held her cheeks, squishing her golden retriever. "Lingling Kwong. I. love. you." Each word punctuated with a kiss, forehead, left cheek, right cheek. Fingertips tracing the beautiful face in front of her. "I love you too."
Ling's eyes widened, blush covering her cheeks all the way to the tip of her ears. "What?" Ling hands settled uselessly on her lap as her mind can barely manage to catch up with her heart.
"I said, I love you too, you dummy. Do you think I do all these things with all of my friends?" Gesturing at their proximity and at their hands clasped together on Ling's lap.
"Well, you can be quite clingy Nong."
"Do I kiss them? Do I cuddle to them when they're asleep? Do I unconsciously reach out for their hand in the middle of a crowd?"
"No. No and no?"
Orm raised both of her eyebrows, urging her 2G Phi to catch up.
"Lingling Kwong. I'm sorry if you misunderstood me that night. It's just you really are my bestie. I trust you with all my heart. I'm not interested with anyone but you're not just anyone to me. You're somebody important to me. I should have said anyone ELSE but I didn't think you feel the same way for me. I've been crushing on you for too long. God. You have no idea. When we got paired to play Fahlada and Earn, I selfishly took the opportunity to get as close to you as possible without making uncomfortable. I thought you were only humoring your clingy nong. You felt to me, like a distant star. I didn't have any expectation for you to fall for me too."
Ling all caught up, tangled in Orm's sweet words felt like she's floating on cloud nine, like she stumbled on an oasis on a desert.
"Orm. Are you sure about this?", she finally whispered.
"Yes."
"But you just graduated, you're young, you're dreams are just coming true. What if what I want is too much? What if I hinder your growth?"
"Don't be afraid of what I feel for you. Don't second guess because I'm sure. I've never been more sure, Lingling Kwong. And, I know you'll never hinder me, you're my number supporter after all well, besides my mom but that's besides the point.", giggling a little.
"Oh God. You have no idea what you do to me.", dropping her head on Orm's shoulder.
"I think I do.", Orm whispered against her hair.
Ling looked up slowly, " I love you, Orm."
Orm's is biting her lower lip, suppressing a huge grin from bursting through but she can't help it, laughter bubbled up in between her chest as a fountain of happiness burst through her. "I love you, too."
"Can I kiss you?", Ling asked, looking at her with an infatuated smile.
"I don't know. Can you?", smiling mischievously at the older woman, eyes glinting in her teasing.
Ling shook her head laughing a little before reaching up and cupping the younger woman's cheeks, slowly rubbing her thumb across her dimple. She leaned forward, looking at her favorite amber eyes for any signs of hesitation. Orm closed her eyes in anticipation, lips parted as her breathing goes shallower. It's as if there's not enough air around them. When their lips touched as Ling and Orm and not as their characters, Orm expected it to feel like fireworks and drums beating but no, it felt like peace. A vacuum in space with only the two of them. The hum of silence in their chest, all silenced thoughts and fears. Ling's lips, soft and full against hers, hesitantly at first before pushing a bit closer. Kissing her lower lip before biting it a little, making Orm gasp into the kiss. It's divine the way Ling angled her face to kiss Orm deeper, deliberate and precise. Orm followed along, hands anchored on her Phi's shoulder as she's being kissed like it's the last. Orm became putty in Ling's arms, melting into the embrace, submitting into their first kiss. Ling pulled away slowly, lips lingering a second later before kissing Orm on the bridge of her nose. Orm's eyes are still closed, lips tingling from the way she was kissed, breath ragged as she try to weave her sanity together. Ling held her, hands gently tracing tracing patterns on the back of her neck and waist as emotions wracked through her body and her mind. When she opened her eyes, Ling was looking at her so gently, so softly; with a small lovestuck smile on her lips that almost made Orm cry as she's overcome with love for this beautiful, beautiful creature.
"I guess it's time to re-schedule that omakase date baobao?", Ling whispered roughly, clearly as breathless as Orm.
"Hmm? How about tonight?"
Ling thought for a moment, looked at her watch to see it's already 8PM. "I'll call my friend. Maybe we can sneak in before closing time?"
"You'll do that?"
Ling nodded at her, hands already patting her pants for her phone.
"I'll just call Mae. She might be looking for me. We've been here for like 3 hours?", laughing a little.
"Okay.", clearly please with their little nap session and sweet confession.
Orm noticed the blanket at the end of the couch, trying to remember if Ling had a blanket when she came over. The blond took her phone out, and saw a few text from her mom.
"Nong. You're other bags are with me. You're small bag and wallet is on the table. I saw you sleeping with your P'Ling and I didn't want to wake up both of you. Get a ride from her going home, okay?"
"P'Lingling?"
"Hmm?"
Orm got a little distracted by Ling's lips that she ended up staring at it for a few seconds.
"Baobao?", her lips curving into a smile before lifting Orm's chin to look at her eyes.
"Sorry. I got distracted.", flushing a pretty pink. "It's just Mae saw us cuddling and put the blanket over us."
"Oh no. Is she mad?"
"Not really but, she told me to ask you for a ride? Can you drive me home?"
"Of course."
"Thank you!", impulsively pecking the older woman on the lips.
Ling's eyes widened both from shock and delight, she didn't expect Orm to actually go for the lips.
"Oh shit. Sorry. I- I um got carried away."
"You don't have to be sorry for kissing me baobao. Just not on public. Our fans will literally die.", before laughing out loud. She can't even imagine how the internet will break if Orm randomly did that.
"Ugggh. How do I stop myself now?? Especially knowing you feel the same?" Orm buried her face in Ling's shoulder.
Ling is just chuckling along. Kissing Orm on the head and holding her close.
"You'll have to keep it in baobao or Khun Dew will have our heads."
"Okayy.", before looking up at her Phi. "But can I kiss you anytime we're alone, baobao?", in her tiny, pouty voice that renders Ling helpless.
"Yes. As many as you like."
"Yes!", raising her fist as if she won and maybe she really did.
Ling laughed, finding everything that Orm does adorable.
"Anyway, I already called my friend. We have a private table set-up. Let's go?"
"Omakase?? You managed to book quickly?"
"Yes. I know someone."
"That's suspicious."
"Why??", she asked before getting up and pulling up Orm with her.
"You have an Omakase dealer.", she teased.
She pinched Orm's cheeks, too overcome with cuteness aggression. "You're so cute. What do I do with you?"
Orm only laughed, cheeks burning as she's being babied by her Phi? Lover? She doesn't know yet.
"Wait! Wait! Before we go out. Let me clarify, I don't want any more understanding."
"Okay. What is it? Hmm?"
Ling pointedly gazed at her, eyes wide and gentle.
"Jiejie! Don't stare at me like that! I'm shy!"
"What am I doing??"
"You- you're too attractive!!"
Ling laughed, just pure joy painted on her face as she walked a little closer to Orm. Circling her arms around her blushing girl.
"Baobao. Focus. You were gonna clarify something?"
"Iwasjustgonnaaskifyou'remygirlfriendalready", she mumbled, still avoiding eye contact.
"What? I can't hear you.", lifting Orm's chin to look at her eyes. She didn't know Orm will be this bashful around her, it's endearing.
"I was just gonna ask if you're my girlfriend already?", eye's wavering as she voiced out her concern.
Ling's heart feel like it'll explode with how much adoration she feel for the younger woman.
"Yes. Would you want that, baby?"
Orm feels like she's short circuiting, brain all but mush, hearing Ling say baby in that sexy as hell tone she does when she's teasing and it might be too much for poor Orm.
"My heart will explode if you don't stop this now. Oh my God." Orm buried her face against Ling's chest.
"You're heart can't explode, it's mine."
Orm looked up, heart on the sleeves, honesty dripping from her eyes. "It is yours."
"Good 'cause now you're my girlfriend and it should be mine. Do I have all the rights now?", Ling tilted her head to the side, her smile in full blast as she stared at her girl.
"Yes."
"I love that.", smiling like she won the lottery. "Let's get to our date?"
"Okay!", Orm cheered. Her energy was too electric to be stopped. She sneaked a peck at Ling's cheek before they walked out right before dragging Ling outside.
They walked hand in hand as they exited the room. The remaining staff looked at them with well, suspicion but they can care less. It's as if they're in their own world again, back to their usual lovey dovey phase but now, finally unrestrained and unfiltered.