Work Text:
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The sky stared down at him, the clouds forming piercing eyes that gazed right into his very soul, striking his head like lightning, a splitting pain racing through his whole body. His mind spun with terrible, terrible images, everyone he loved was dying, being struck down by the evil sky and there was nothing he could do but watch as horror rained all around him... All he could do was stare, he couldn’t break his gaze away, he dug his fingers into the ground below him, ripping up tufts of grass, desperate to stay tethered, but the moon had him in a death grip, forcing his head up, forcing his eyes open to meet the gaze of the swirling death above... He had no choice but to be swept away by the tide of rain, there was nothing he could do... there was nothing he could do... there was nothing he could--
Vaguely, distantly, Rowan registered the sound of someone kneeling behind him. Slowly, tenderly, he felt strong arms wrap around him. Not daring to look down, not daring to see who, he cried out and struggled against them. They held him fast, though, no matter how much he cried and shoved. Eventually, his strength dwindled, breathing heavy as he shuddered, trying desperately to calm himself.
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Juniper carefully released Rowan as he felt the tension in his body slip away, relaxing into him. His breathing was still hasty and shallow, and he was still muttering under his breath– “The sky, the sky, it’s watching me, it knows…” He placed a hand on Rowan’s back, rubbing it gently. Rowan leaned into it, and he could feel his heartbeat beginning to slow down.
“Shh, Rowan, it’s alright,” he consoled, continuing to rub his back. Rowan slowly turned around, tear-streaked face looking up at Juniper. Lip trembling, he collapsed into his chest, weakly wrapping his arms around him. A few short breaths escaped him before a sob wrenched itself out of his core. Juniper continued to whisper quiet reassurances to him, letting Rowan’s tears soak into his clothes. He was used to this, and he knew what he needed in these circumstances. He was there for him.
♑︎
Slowly but surely, the terrifying visions began to melt away as Rowan buried his face in Juniper’s chest, his body still shaking with sobs. His ears were still ringing and he couldn’t quite make out what the other man was saying, but it was comforting nonetheless. Distantly, he thought of how much he appreciated Juniper. Despite how much he neglected his responsibilities, he was always there when Rowan needed him… He felt guilty about needing his comfort as much as he did, but at the moment, all he could feel was gratitude as the anxiety slowly drained from his body, beginning to stabilize.
“Deep breaths, love. Keep breathing with me, you’re okay.” Finally, Rowan could make out Juniper’s words. He tried his best to follow his instructions. With them so close together, it was easy for Rowan to mirror the breaths Juniper was taking. As his breathing slowed, and so did his racing thoughts, he was able to form some stuttering words. “T-th-thank you…” he paused, taking a few more breaths before adding, “...I-I love you…” in a whisper.
“What was that?” asked Juniper. Rowan couldn’t tell if he hadn’t heard him or if he just wanted to hear him say it again, considering how close together they were.
“I love you, Juniper.” he repeated, clutching Juniper’s shirt, his face still wet.
While he couldn’t see him, Rowan knew a smile was spreading across Juniper’s face. “One more time, love?” Juniper laughed as a weak punch was pushed against his side.
“...You’re an idiot.” Rowan smiled, a feeble scoff releasing from him. He knew that Juniper would understand the affectionate nature of his words, despite his shaking voice. He was reliable in that way.
♓︎
Juniper chuckled, patting Rowan’s back. “So I’ve been told,” he said, which got a small laugh from Rowan. The sound of his laugh made him feel warm inside. He was glad that he was calming down enough to joke with him. Juniper knew that Rowan often felt like a burden to him, with his frequent panic attacks, but really, he didn’t mind. He disliked seeing Rowan upset much more than he disliked helping him to calm down.
And, when Rowan was feeling more vulnerable, it made him more likely to say mushy things that made Juniper smile. But he kept that thought inside.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Rowan slowly pulled away from the hug, wiping away a leftover tear with his knuckle. “...Sorry,” he mumbled.
“Pardon?” Juniper asked. “Rowan, you don’t need to be sorry. I’m here for you, always.” Rowan blinked at him. “And anyway,” he added, “you’re much easier to deal with than those troublemaking children. Have you seen the kinds of things my cabin gets up to? An awfully rambunctious lot, those ones.”
“I can easily list the things they do to you. Juniper, as soon as I get my hands on that Shiota kid–”
Juniper presses a finger to Rowan’s lips. “Shh. Wouldn’t want Miss Camp Director hearing you say that.”
Rowan stared at Juniper, a very violent flush spreading across his face.
“Hm? Love, have you got a fever?”
“I– you– ugh.” Rowan conceded to the teasing, flopping into Juniper’s lap, covering his face with his hands. Juniper chuckled.
They sat there together for a few minutes before Rowan stood up awkwardly. “Welp,” he said, “It’s, uh, it’s pretty late. I should probably head off to bed.” Juniper nodded and stood too, stretching his limbs.
“Ah, good idea. I’m awfully tired, too.” he agreed.
“‘Night, Juniper.”
“Goodnight, love.”
As Rowan set off towards Cabin Magpie Moth, Juniper whispered under his breath, “I love you too.”
Rowan didn’t turn around, but Juniper knew that he’d heard him.