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“Pass it over.” Nam-gyu said, putting his hand out, ready to accept the joint Thanos had just rolled.
“Hell no, I just rolled it, I want the first hit.” Thanos said defensively, lighting the tip of the joint, putting it in his mouth, and taking a big hit of it.
They were sitting in Nam-gyu’s apartment, which Thanos seems to find himself in most of the time. Hell, at this point they practically live together.
They only hang out when they wanted to get high, which just so happened to be all the time. And, they always ended up going to Nam-gyu’s place to do it. Especially considering how messy Thanos’s home situation is.
They were each other's favorite person to get high with, and just favorite person in general, although neither of them would ever admit it to each other or themselves.
They could sit in silence the entire time and never ever reach a state of awkwardness. They could laugh at the most stupid shit together until their ribs hurt. They could talk all night long and the conversation would never become stale.
Although, the most important thing, to Nam-gyu at least, was trust.
He felt safe knowing that if he ever happened to have a bad reaction to whatever they were popping/smoking, he could trust Thanos to keep him safe.
Thanos has had more experience with drugs than Nam-gyu could ever imagine, which did worry him, however whenever he’d try and bring up his concerns, Thanos would immediately shut the conversation down and tell him not to worry, so he stopped trying.
Although, the pros to Thanos’s “experience” is that it helps Nam-gyu feel safe enough to try new drugs freely, without worrying about having a bad reaction and being alone or helpless.
He knows deep down that if something were to genuinely, truly happen to him, Thanos, no matter how fucked up he was, would help, or call someone that could. Which was enough for him.
So, after a few hours of hitting the joint until it was practically gone, they were laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Thanos had his hands in the air, waving them back and forth, watching the colors trail behind his hand against the white ceiling.
Nam-gyu wasn’t exactly seeing what Thanos was. Honestly, since trying this new drug that Thanos advertised to him a few weeks ago, weed hasn’t hit him the same. He doesn’t get on good highs like he used to and it kind of bothers him, although he’d never say it.
Although, as he looked over at Thanos’s bloodshot eyes and shaky hands he could tell that the weed affected him just as much if not more.
It’s not that fun to watch someone be on a better high than you when you're just sitting there, but with Thanos he never minded, he was enjoying the silence and company with his person.
After a few more moments of silence, Nam-gyu turned his head to look at Thanos. “You doing alright?” He said with a small chuckle, observing the man further, his heels clicked against the floor as he kicked his feet very lightly.
Thanos turned over and his eyes widened. Now Nam-gyu could finally get a better look at his face. His pupils were super enlarged, his face was flushed, and his lips were dry and chapped.
“Damn bro, I didn’t think weed hit you this hard..” He said with a small, now nervous, chuckle. “It never typically does.” He says, dragging his words out with curiosity, tilting his head, beginning to slightly worry. But his brain quickly eases his nerves as he remembers who he’s talking to.
This is Thanos, he knows what he’s doing.
Or at least, he has faith that he does. Nam-gyu has been friends with Thanos for quite some time, so he’s been with him through some pretty rough patches with his drug use. Although he’s gotten better recently he still struggles a bit to, stay, better. Of course there’s been a few times Nam-gyu thought that Thanos had…”overdone” it, and he rarely uses that word when it comes to drugs.
It’s gotten bad at times, to say the least. But it’s been a while since he’s taken something that intense, he figured this was just a serious reaction to weed, that’s all it could be, right?
Although, every single one of those thoughts left his brain when Thanos began crawling on top of Nam-gyu, straddling his lap, putting his hands on both sides of Nam-gyu’s face, pinning him to the floor.
“Thanos.. what the hell are you doing?” Nam-gyu asked, trying his best to sound disgusted but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t ever find himself talking to Thanos with anything but joy and worry for him.
“Sh sh sh sh” Thanos says, with a big goofy smile on his face, simply unaware of what he’s doing, still in his own world.
Nam-gyu’s eyes widen, blush begins to spread across his face as his brain finally catches up to what’s going on.
Holy shit, Thanos is sitting on his lap right now, holy fuck, if only he had a camera right now.
Nam-gyu has always been an extremely touchy person with the people he’s close with, but Thanos not so much. Thanos will admit, it took him a while to get used to how Nam-gyu is, but now he barely even notices it.
Whenever Nam-gyu gets touchy like he does, normally Thanos will typically ignore it and just let him do it because he knows how much it means to him. But this is the first time he’s ever initiated it.
Holy shit, what was he on?
Thanos tangled his fingers into Nam-gyu’s hair, beginning to chuckle. “Blue..” He giggled.
Nam-gyu took notice of the pale color growing on Thanos’s lips. He quickly snaps out of his gaze, bringing his attention back to Thanos’s face.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Nam-gyu says in response, covering his face with one of his hands, trying to hide the red spreading across his face.
“Woah.. your hair.. changing colors like a fucking rainbow bro..” He says, his pupils enlarging twice their size.
Nam-gyu moves his hand, his blush dimming as he finally realizes what exactly is going on. Now there was no doubt in his mind, this was NOT weed. “Thanos, did you take something before you came here?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.
“No… I took something while you weren’t looking.. while I was here..” Thanos stumbles through his sentence very slowly. He then sits up quickly. “It’s none of your fucking business, man.” He says a little loudly and whiny, crossing his arms, almost falling back.
Nam-gyu has tried bringing it up before, but all the drugs Thanos constantly does is…worrying, to say the least, even to a fellow stoner.
Nam-gyu will try anything once, but if he doesn’t have a good experience with it, he won’t do it again. Thanos isn’t like that though. If he has a bad experience he’ll continue to do it, for him, it’s not about the experience of the high more than the memory of it all.
His goal isn’t to have fun. It’s too forget. He wants to forget who he is, forget his life, forget what happened that night, the next morning, and then do it all over again.
Nam-gyu sits there, observing the man above him, unable to get him off his lap, not that he was genuinely trying anyway.
Then it hits him, the only other time he’s seen Thanos like this was a party about three months ago. Thanos disappeared and returned an hour later looking like he does now, begging Nam-gyu to take him back to his apartment.
So obviously he did, he fell asleep immediately which isn’t abnormal, but when he began shaking, Nam-gyu started getting worried. He didn’t sleep that night, he sat next to Thanos’s passed out body, watching to make sure his back continued to move up and down.
It was so scary and Nam-gyu wished it never had to happen. But, he didn’t mind taking care of him thought, because he knows he would do the same for him.
When he woke up on Nam-gyu’s couch he told him what happened. He bought pills off this one random guy at the party, and apparently what Thanos thought he was buying was NOT what he was truly buying.
Nam-gyu’s entire body filled with a rage he couldn’t quite explain as he was telling the story, and as he watches Thanos for a few more moments he feels that same rage fuel him.
“Fuck. Dude, did you take pills from that one guy again?” He says, running his hands through his hair, confirming his theory.
Thanos pretends to look shocked and taken aback, “Nooooo…” He then looks to his side and points at the wall. “But can you tell the cat to stop moving..” He mutters.
Nam-gyu turns his head, bringing his knees up, letting Thanos lean against his legs, putting one hand on Thanos’s thigh to keep him balanced, he follows his gaze, trying to see what he could possibly be seeing. “What cat?” He asks.
“The cat.” Thanos says, looking back at Nam-gyu. There’s a few moments of silence of them just staring at each other, Thanos just swaying back and forth. Nam-gyu moves his other hand to rest on his other thigh, trying to hold him in place so he doesn’t fall and hit his head on the floor.
Thanos’s eyelids begin to flutter shut. He looks like he’s fighting sleep and is terribly losing.
After a few moments of this, before Nam-gyu has a chance to say anything. Thanos, ever so slowly, droops down and lays his head onto Nam-gyu’s chest, fast asleep.
“God dammit Thanos..” Nam-gyu curses under his breath, covering his face with one hand, the other wrapping itself around the passed out man on top of him, a confusing mix of frustration and another emotion he couldn’t quite place filled him.
Frustration at whoever the fuck did this to him, but also a sense of security with Thanos lying on top of him like this.
Nam-gyu debates on laying there on the floor for the rest of the night, pretending he accidentally fell asleep, which would be a big lie. How could he fall asleep at a time like this?
His best friend was as close as he could be, comfortably fast asleep, how could he just go to sleep too? He could be dead tired, but he’d fight sleep for hours if it meant being able to soak up this moment a little more.
How could he even move knowing Thanos is going to wake up and forget it ever happened? How could he move knowing this will never happen again?
He could sit there and ponder all night but he knows this is going to get super uncomfortable for both him and Thanos on the hardwood floor and they’ll both end up regretting it in the morning.
So, he sighs and stands up, carefully picking Thanos up in his arms, bridal style, carrying him to the couch. Thanos groans as he plops down onto the couch, laid on his stomach, face flat into the couch cushion.
Nam-gyu couldn’t help but smile as he walked over and sat next to him, pushing his hair back, enjoying the few moments he had to really observe Thanos this up-close before he sobered up and went back to ignoring all his efforts of making physical touch known.
He begins to think back to his thoughts about Thanos and his experience, and how in a weird way it’s kind of reassuring.
But, as he looks back on all the times they’ve gotten high together he’s realized the only person between the two who’s ever genuinely had a “bad reaction” like this was Thanos.
Nam-gyu’s eyes gain a curious, wide eyed shine to them as he stares at Thanos, watching his back move up and down, making sure he’s still breathing. His mind begins to wander, “I wonder if he thinks of me like that.”
Nam-gyu has observed Thanos at parties, if he ever gets too fucked up, he’ll go to Nam-gyu immediately and tell him, well, order him, to take him home.
But that makes him think, does that mean Thanos trusts him? Does he really consider him a safe person for himself?
Nam-gyu continues fidgeting with Thanos' hair gently until Thanos groans and lifts his head up groggily, moving his hand in front of his face, as if trying to swat a fly.
Nam-gyu quickly moves his hand back. Then Thanos pats the space around his head, searching for something, it seems, probably a pillow.
Then, he grabs Nam-gyu’s thigh and moves up, laying his head on Nam-gyu’s lap.
Nam-gyu puts his hands in the air, careful to make one wrong move, scared he’d move again. Though, he couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t ever think he’d stop smiling. He tried to go back to the problem at hand, he tried to worry about anything to distract him from how he was feeling.
But nothing else mattered. For the first time in his life he's so happy he’s not high, so he knows he’ll remember every moment of this night for the rest of his teenage years.
He then picks up his phone, and snaps a picture of him and his absolute favorite person, knowing he’ll get the honour of making fun of Thanos later for it.