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It was yet again another sleepless night for Oscar. The blistering cold putting a halt on any of his drowsiness.
The windows are shut, yet the room is still freezing. Barely lit up by the glow of the moon’s reflections, highlighting Lando’s perfect features.
Oscar thought Lando had no flaws. He didn’t, of course. until he started hogging the blankets like a mad man.
It was absolutely insane. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue. Until, that is, Lando had shown his continuous discomfort for cuddling while sleeping. Which would have been Oscar’s only source of warmth without a blanket.
He complains it always hurts his muscles in the morning and is overwhelming, which Oscar couldn’t argue with. He respected his boundaries.
That wasn’t the main issue, though. Oscar was okay learning that information. Because he didn’t steal the blanket then.
Getting another one? Not possible. For some reason, they didn’t have spares. Sharing one should’ve been easy enough. Until it wasn’t.
Oscar wasn’t mad, he was just in extreme discomfort as he attempted to sleep, while also trying to shield himself from the cold.
It also wouldn’t be an issue if it was summer.
However, it was the middle of winter. How fun for Oscar!
It wasn’t a massive deal, Oscar would tell himself.
I’ll get over it.
So he tried.
—
He gets through the day like normal with Lando. Not once expressing his discomfort, or how bothered he was.
He wasn’t that guy.
That night wasn’t supposed to be as cold as others, but it still was bloody freezing.
To assert some kind of dominance, he started a one sided tug of war game with dead asleep Lando.
The man slept like a rock, and also seemed to become as heavy as one when clinging onto that blanket.
He tugs, and tugs, and tugs, until eventually loosing his grip and flinging off the edge of the bed and landing with a heavy thump. Getting up with now a shivering body and a sore ass.
Next time. Oscar convinces himself.
Maybe tug of war wasn’t the way to go. But how was Lando so attached to the blanket? It baffled Oscar.
He curls up in defeat on the bed, back facing Lando.
—
Truly he was stumped. Another night has fallen, and now Oscar was sat cross legged, staring down Lando like he had committed a crime.
Also seething with jealousy at the fact he could fall asleep so fast.
That night was extra cold. Oscar had rushed to turn on the heater before they went to bed, only to be greeted with Lando’s sheepish smile and the thing broken. Fuck.
Thinking to himself, Oscar ultimately gives up. He couldn’t be warm, and had no clue what to do.
It would be fine. Sure. He could deal with it. Except no, he couldn’t.
His body tenses borderline painfully again as another wave of cold air washes over him, muscles tensing and now aching with the force of his shiver.
It was extremely cold, and hard to sleep.
He takes his position next to Lando again, curling up, back facing Lando once again.
Bringing his knees to his chest, he takes pity on himself and whines a little as he shivers once again.
He couldn’t barely relax with the constant cold.
Man, he just wanted to cuddle his boyfriend. Oscar loved to cuddle, he was quite touchy. Yes, Lando was too, but not as much as Oscar.
He longed to cuddle him at night, to curl in his chest and wrap his limbs around the smaller boy. He pined like he wasn’t already dating the man.
He honestly rather die then try ask Lando to cuddle, he’s already expressed his discomfort.
He’ll have to deal with it. He can’t cuddle, and that’s okay!
It wasn’t, but he had to say it was. He had to gaslight himself into thinking he didn’t want to. It was painful, but honestly the least problem-problem one could have.
After what felt like a few hours, he felt warmth. It wasn’t a blanket, but it was warm and that was all that mattered.
Maybe he was asleep, and in his dream he was warm. Atleast he hoped. Maybe it was all some elaborate dream, and he’s been warm for a while now.
What scares the life out of him though, is a noise in his ear.
It’s soft, Oscar almost didn’t hear it- but he did. The noise was soft, very soft. It was like the voice was warmth.
In a very weird way. Voices can’t be warmth, can they? The voice is back again.
”Oscar?”
What? Why was he hearing his name? And oh, it infact definitely wasn’t a blanket. There was an arm wrapped around his waist.
Oscar also felt a large body of warmth on his back- it was Lando?
That can’t be right. He can’t be so desperate for a hug, he’s dreaming of Lando hugging him.
He wasn’t dreaming.
”Baby?” The voice is back again, slightly louder but so so so soft. It felt so nice.
”Lando?” Oscar finally responds. He was still unsure if he was going to end up talking to himself or not.
The arm around him tightened, further pulling him back into the body. Lando’s body.
”I- uh, I’m sorry.” The voice mutters. Lando’s voice.
”For what?”
”You were shivering. I’m sorry.”
”It doesn’t matter.” Oscar cuts the conversation short. He was warm, so it didn’t matter. Did it? Besides, knew this would end with a back and forth.
”Listen please, Osc.”
Osc.
Oscar hums to show that he’s listening. Or trying to atleast.
“I hogged the blanket, and you were cold.”
”That’s okay. You don’t like cuddling anyways.” With a heavy heart and a gulp, Oscar tries to push Lando’s arm away and off his waist.
He is pushing away the thing he has longed for. Oscar thinks, why does he do this to himself?
Self-sabotage.
Oscar felt like he was forcing Lando to hug him, and push against his own boundaries. Realistically? He wasn’t. He felt like it though.
He doesn’t know why. He’s always been so clingy, and it’s proven time and time again people don’t like that. Well, previous partners have told him.
Oscar doesn’t have a long list of exes, but they all list his one flaw as ‘Too clingy and overwhelming.’
Lando already listed cuddling him as overwhelming. From a 3rd point of view, it was his insecurities talking.
Oscar was just an insecure freak who can’t handle any negative views on him.
“Oscar. Listen to me. Please.” Lando’s voice got softer.
Why? Was he upset?
”Yes?” Oscar’s own voice shocked him. It was shaky, and his throat hurt. He wasn’t crying. Until he felt a thumb wipe across his cheek, now his cheek was wet.
He was crying.
Lando gently turns Oscar to face him, making sure to keep a firm grip on the crying boy.
”Oscar. Can you start talking to me, please?” Lando’s voice was almost begging, but it was all sincere and kind. His tone tender.
”I already do.” Oscar’s voice trembles, only now noticing he hasn’t looked at Lando once.
He slowly drifts his gaze up, Lando looked as pretty as ever.
Messy curls, a small pout and the prettiest eyes ever. The glare of the moonlight adding a small twinkle.
”I felt your shaking as I slept. I turn around and see you curled in a little ball like an abandoned puppy.” His words were mean (in a way) but they’re weren’t. Not mocking or discriminating at all.
They felt full of care and concern. Lando always does that.
He says things and they’re always so comforting. No matter what Oscar himself his thinking.
Oscar doesn’t reply. He doesn’t want to. He’s scared.
Lando’s thumb moves to his face again, wiping gently under his eye. Another tear.
”I don’t want to see you cry, Oscar. If I knew you’d end up crying because you were so cold, I would’ve cuddled you earlier.” Lando let on a small smile, to show his sincerity.
”But you don’t like cuddling-“ Oscar starts, his voice pitiful to hear.
”It’s not that bad. I can easily get over it as long as I don’t hear you crying every night.” Lando moves his face closer, pressing a gentle kiss to Oscar’s wet cheek and kissing the tears away.
It was warm. Heating his face in the best way, keeping him cozy.
”Yeah?” Oscar mumbles, he wasn’t sure but he wanted to be. He wanted comfort, security, and reassurance.
He felt a little pathetic for it, but he lived on it. He doesn’t want to depend on what others, Lando, think of him, but he does.
Lando does it so well. Like he was made for Oscar.
”Yeah.” Lando replies, slowly moving his forehead and resting it against Oscar’s. He had a smile, a small one, but the warmest smile ever.
Lando pulls Oscar even closer, you’d think he’s trying to morph Oscar into him.
Oscar felt warm. So warm. It was because of Lando.
Being held by Lando melted everything cold, physically and mentally.
It was all he longed for, and it didn’t take much.
He, wasn’t too much.