Chapter Text
Steven genuinely didn’t know what was wrong with him. It was era 3, the earth was saved, everyone. So why did he feel like this? There was no logical reason for this. He shouldn’t be doing this. Idiot.
Steven had been sitting in the locked bathroom for about an hour. The gems had been gone at little homeworld, and he’d been left alone, as per usual. It’s always been this way, he was used to it. Ever since he moved in with the gems, he was alone most of the time, as they would be on missions or doing their own thing most of the time. He would usually be doing stuff like gaming, or making tubetube videos, but things have changed since then. He used to be so happy. So what happend?
Steven was sitting on the bathroom floor. The white towel next to him now stained in red, the blade he had in his hand covered with his blood. He just stared down at his arms that were now covered in scars. Why was he like this? There was no reason to be like this, the earth is safe, everyone is safe and happy. So why isn’t he happy? He should be happy. It really doesn’t make sense. Fucking pathetic. Nobody needs you now, why can’t you just end it? You’ve already fixed everybody. They don’t need you anymore.
Steven lost his train of thought when he heard his phone buzz beside him. He looked over to the phone. Connie. Wait- Connie-? Had he forgotten when her break was? He could just not pick up- right now he wasn’t in.. the best state of mind to answer. He didn’t want to answer, so.. he didn’t. He just let the call go to voicemail. He sighed and looked back down at his arms. He knew the gems were gonna be back any minute now and he probably needed to clean himself up. He licked one of his fingers and gently placed it down on the open scars, flinching slightly at the stings. The wounds slowly patched themself up, Steven did this until they were all healed, only leaving very faint scars. He didn’t really need to worry whether somebody would ask about them or not, he could just say they were from the years of fighting, then it would be brushed aside. He picked up the towel, using the warp to get to the wash and throw it in there, afterwords cleaning the blood on the floor and cleaning the blood off his hands in the sink. He stared at himself in the mirror, seeming to zone out. He hadn’t even realized he’d been washing his hands for several minutes until he heard a knock on the door, knocking him back into reality.
“Steven?” He heard a faint voice from outside the house. It didn’t sound like one of the gems, it sounded more like.. Connie. Was she worried for him? Did he make her worry? He didn’t mean to make her worried. She shouldn’t be worried over something as small as picking up a call. Steven rubbed his head and took a deep breath to pull himself together, he opened the bathroom door. “Coming!”
He walked over to the door, opening it. “Steven!” she exclaimed, “You didn’t answer my call earlier, were you busy?” She asked. Steven muttered to himself before replying, “I- Um.. You called?” Connie laughed, “Yeah, I called earlier. I normally wouldn’t come all the way over here for something like that, but I'm actually on break from school for a few weeks! Sooo, since I've spent so much time studying, I was wondering if you wanted to spend the day together?” Steven stared for a few seconds. Right now? Did she want to hang out right now? He felt too drained to do anything at the moment. “I..S-sure, Connie” She paused for a moment. “Are you okay Steven? You're kinda stuttering a bit and you look kind of pale… If you don’t want to hang out right now that’s okay-” “N-No i’m-” Steven shook his head, “I’m okay! It’s alright. S-sorry i just, i didn’t get much sleep last night-” he nervously chuckled. Technically not a lie, he hadn’t gotten much rest in a few days. “If you wanna take a quick nap you can. I can come back later.” Steven shook his head, “It’s alright-” “Steven. You need to get rest. So i’ll come back later. I probably shouldn’t have come over randomly anyways before asking.” Steven paused, before sighing. “Yeah, um.. okay. Yeah that's fine.”
Steven watched as Connie went down the stairs and waved at him. He just muttered to himself. Why was he acting like that? He just sighed and closed the door, walking up to his room and falling onto the bed.