Work Text:
"I'm telling Dad!"
Both a blessing, yet a cursed sentence a child could mutter, especially if you happened to be the dad in the situation. It was nice to know your child would tell you if something upset or hurt them, but there was also the curse of having to deal with them telling you about something that didn't matter, like not winning a game, or not being included with other friends. 007n7 couldn't do anything about that, and it broke his heart when c00lkidd seemed to understand that overtime. The light in his eyes passing once he remembered just how cruel children were, especially to him. How they cheated, never played fair, always gave him the short end of the stick, or would kick him out midgame, letting him waste all that time at the park hiding, believing someone was actually looking for him.
"I finally got your attention!"
007n7 knew that it was true, he couldn't pay attention to c00lkidd as much as he desired. When he'd get finished with work, pick his son up from school, drive home during horrible traffic hours, he was tired. So tired. If his son wasn't with him, or existed, he probably would've gotten into a car accident by now. His son wasted his voice trying to explain to him what he learned, or did at school today, and 007n7 was worried about closing his eyes longer than needed. He remembers his son getting so worried when he had to pull over on the side of the road, not feeling comfortable driving due to his exhaustion. His son needed to get home though. He had homework to do, he couldn't miss his favorite show on tv, and he had school tomorrow. What kind of parent would get their kid home, then immediately send them to bed? Maybe that was a better way of parenting, better than letting your son stay up so late, but how could he say no?
"You look tired."
That same afternoon, his son got a visit, and it was from his second favorite person ever! Elliot! C00lkidd knew he was his father's work friend, and soon enough, he became his babysitter when 007n7 was busy, or too tired to properly function. C00lkidd never said anything, but he was honestly excited when his dad's words slurred, his movements sluggish, his hands gliding over his phone that was turned off as he believed he had already opened it moments prior. That meant Elliot would come over, and Elliot could play with him. He'd even bring over a slice of pizza for him, if he was allowed to bring a spare with him, and 007n7 allowed the junk food. He remembers playing tag with Elliot outside, occasionally glancing through the window of their small apartment, seeing his father limp on the couch, his chest rising up and down while the side of his head remained buried into the couch, a blanket tossed over him, curtesy of Elliot.
"Looks like you need some shuteye, dad!"
And he got some. He didn't want it, but he got it. He swore he just blinked while on call with Elliot, discussing plans about dropping him off there for a sleepover. 007n7 was hesitant, his son without him? He trusted Elliot, but it felt so foreign getting that outside help, especially such a big one as getting 24 hours of time to rest. Well, he told Elliot that, but the moment he did get home, he'd be doing chores. He didn't want his son to come back to a messy house. He never got to clean that house, nor did his son stay over at Elliot's house. The sound of a horn blaring startled him, and in a fit of panic, he swerved, trying to move out of the way for any oncoming cars. It turned out that it was just someone behind him raging that he wasn't going fast enough, but the damage was done by then. He swerved off the road, his car going full speed down a hill, the side that he and his son happened to be on slamming into a tree. The sounds of his son's confused, then scared "Huh?" before both of their lives would fall apart forever.
"What's wrong, papa?"
When 007n7 could focus on everything around him, he heard yet another horn blaring, but this time, it was coming from him. The cuts from slamming his head straight into the window, glass shattering and slicing into his skin, his airbags failing to deploy as the blood splattered on the wheel, his body falling forwards on the horn. The pain wasn't there, he couldn't feel anything, and those first coherent thoughts stuck with him, even after his body succumbed to the injuries and crumpled again. Was his son okay? He wanted so badly to move his hand back to hold c00lkidd's hand, yet his body wouldn't move. His son was quiet, and no matter how many times he pleaded for his son to be quiet, especially during one of his intense migraines, he hated the silence. He hated that the one wish that actually was granted failed him so miserably. He could see the red and blue flashes in the corner of his eyes. He hoped they were there for his son.
--
He had woken up before his son, and both him and Elliot wished he hadn't. 007n7 hated the fact that he couldn't get up to check on his son, and he hated the fact that the nurses came to check on him, and not his son. Elliot hated hearing the father's sobs and snorts from his nose being runny. They wouldn't tell the delivery driver anything, even after he explained how much he took care of the boy. Legally, he was a stranger, and they couldn't tell him anything. When 007n7 could finally ask, there was never a yes or no, it was always "He's in good care." At that point, he was already heading towards grief, believing his son to be dead, and those nurses couldn't rub salt into his wounds, even if they legally had to. For the next three days, Elliot was like a little messenger. The pizza delivery driver never admitted it, but those three days were the worst of his life. He had to tell his friend about his son's condition, and what he saw from an outsider's view. Elliot couldn't tell the truth most times. Multiple machines that barely left any room left for someone to walk in? No, there were just a few machines. Was c00lkidd responsive? Yes, he just talked with him, meanwhile the only voices in the room were from nurses. Could he take a photo of his son and show him? No, the staff didn't allow it. It wasn't because c00lkidd wasn't in the room anymore, off somewhere else to get treatment at that moment, definitely not.
On day three, finally a doctor gave him a medical evaluation, determining his mobility status. The father could walk, but doctors advised against it, and as a result, they had given him a wheelchair to travel in once his health approved to where he could care for himself, mostly anyways. Elliot was there to bring 007n7 to the room his son was in, and at that point, the father had no tears left to cry. He wasted it all on worrying about his son, and the agonizing pain he was in. He felt like such a failure. When c00lkidd was first handed to him, he swore to his mother that he would keep him safe, provide him with everything he needed, and his needs would be met before his own. He remembers signing those papers as the mother signed away her parental rights, believing she had chosen the right man to adopt her son, give him the life that she was unfit to do for multiple reasons.
And to think that his mother was probably out there, unknowing about how badly he fucked up, how much he disappointed her, and broke her promise. He should have never become a parent. He couldn't give his son attention, he had to call Elliot at least once a week to care for the boy when he was too out of it, and now his son was just as fucked up physically, if not more than he was. The nurses were generous enough to situate the room, moving machines around to give the two males the ability to come in and get close. The cast on the boy's left arm, the sutures in the corners of both sides of his lips from the seatbelt digging in his skin and cutting it during the impact, and a good chunk of his hair that had been shaven off due to, what nurses told him, was a closed head injury that required surgery.
Those stitches in his head made him want to throw up.
The fact that his son was in a hospital bed because of his careless made him wish he hadn't survived.
Although, there was a distant voice in his mind that tried telling him to not wish for such things, his son still loved him.
But...if he were to die, Elliot would no doubt gain custody, even if he'd need to go through hell and back to get it. He'd make sure his son was okay when he couldn't make sure. Elliot could raise him. He lived in his own house, in a happy neighborhood, and lived not even five minutes away from his worksite. He was almost always employee of the month and some customers would even add a note to their delivery order, which was to "send the cute delivery driver" and everyone in the workplace knew they were asking for Elliot, much to his embarrassment as his colleagues would giggle as the notes were read out loud to him. He would even get featured in some promotional material for the pizza place. It sounded perfect, but 007n7 knew he couldn't just dump responsibilities on the poor male like that. He was ready for a kid, he made the decision to adopt one, Elliot was the exact opposite. He was a babysitter, and nothing more than that.
--
After the both of them could leave, a month after the accident, they stayed with Elliot, mainly since 007n7 was facing eviction due to the lack of rent. Even the hospital didn't save him from his landlord's wrath. He had been let go as a burger king worker due to the accident, and he had to quit being a mailman due to his injuries unable to let him stand up for so long, or change from standing to sitting too much too quickly. He would have gotten fired from the pizza place if it wasn't for Elliot's interference and talks with the manager, who agreed to give 007n7 two weeks before getting back to work, no more than that, and Elliot knew it wasn't wise to try and push the subject, otherwise he might do more damage. So much medicine sat on the counter, most for c00lkidd while some were for 007n7.
The school that his son went to offered 007n7 free tutoring to catch his son up whenever he was able to study again, and the father accepted. It broke his heart at how unresponsive his son was. His messed up posture as all he sought for was comfort and pain relief, it was hard staying strong for him. 007n7 never cried in front of c00lkidd, not in the decade they've been together, and he wouldn't break that now. He didn't want that weight on his son. He had to clean and care for the stitches around his lips, he had to elevate the cast on his son's left arm and keep it dry, which meant no showers. He had to give his son baths and wash his upper area with a rag, avoiding the injuries as best as he could. He felt horrible when his son would tear up or move his face away when 007n7 messed up, hurting him instead.
He had to keep his son's head always elevated, he had to make sure he was getting the correct amount of rest, had to make sure he was on a certain diet, had to make sure not to stress him out, which was easy. He had to do all of this while his own body screamed at him, agonizing pain in his legs, his hips hurting when he turned too sharp, his own headaches 10x worse and more frequent, and he didn't even want to get started on the memory loss. Yet more work and sacrifices, and it was for nothing. His son was never the same. He had caught it easy. His son would throw more tantrums when not getting his way, or if he got a problem wrong when studying, his mood swings, and difficulty interacting with the other kids he talked so much to. The calls about his son after he returned to school were endless. He was throwing a tantrum and disrupting class, he would burst into tears as his injuries prevented him from doing certain activities, and most importantly of all, his son's lack of empathy. He caused a girl to fall and scrape her knee? He couldn't help but laugh. He threw his food at another boy? He burst out into laughter. He scared the other kids during his outbursts? He'd get louder and more aggressive as they cried.
It was clear, and 007n7 struggled to accept that. His son was dead, and he was taking care of his corpse. No matter how much therapy he went to, no matter how many father/son moments they had, drowning in presents during Christmas or his birthday? He never changed, it was futile. He killed his own son.
--
All he could do was sit on top of the hill, the hum of a generator behind him as Elliot finished fixing it. They both found themselves in the same situation of being hunted, and they both found themselves aching when c00lkidd was the one hunting them. His son didn't even recognize Elliot anymore, and he was incredibly aggressive towards his own dad. But..as the doctor stated himself, he just believes he is playing. After everything he had put the poor boy through, he deserved time to play, and he wouldn't burst his bubble, even if it killed him in the end. He deserved it anyways, and that voice in the back of his mind that tried convincing him many years ago to not say such things? It was long gone. As Elliot tended to his wounds, like he did all those years ago after the initial crash, he opened his mouth, trying to comfort the dad who grieved his son. "It wasn't your fault, 007n7."
And in response, the father whispered back, his hands motionless beside him. "It shouldn't have happened in the first place, Elliot."