Chapter Text
Now, don't get me wrong, I love those two idiots, I really do, but there's only so much a girl can handle. Walking into the kitchen for a quick snack, only to find blood on every surface and Valentino and Alastor standing right in the middle of the massacre was the final straw.
"I have had it with you two! Out. Right now."
"But-"
"Don't you but me, out! Like out out. Of the building as a whole."
"Vaggie, if you just-"
I glared at the pair with my one good eye, hand trembling visibly as I pointed to the kitchen door.
Alastor opened his mouth to continue arguing their case, but Valentino put a hand on his shoulder, shook his head.
"Alright, sweetheart, we'll get out of your hair."
"Don't call me that!" I hissed, whacking Valentino with the shaft of my spear as he passed. His yelp of pain only soothed my anger the slightest amount. I followed them out of the Hazbin Hotel, and stood firmly in front of the doors, weapon held tightly. "Now I don't know what possessed you both to kill and dismember a guest of this hotel-"
"Well, if you just listened, dear-"
"Can it, Alastor, I am this close to turning you into a damn carousel horse."
Alastor looked me up and down, took a step back, grin never fading.
I felt a small swell of pride. He was learning.
I don't bluff.
"As I was saying, I don't know what possessed you, but your behaviour has been unacceptable. I'm happy for you both, truly, but you are insufferable together, your flagrant disregard for the rules and order of this hotel, displaying your hobbies for all to see, your- your- ugh! It's too much and I can't deal with you anymore! You're banned."
Silence from them both and then, "But I live here."
I let out an annoyed sigh, dragged a hand down my face, "You are banned from spending time at the hotel together. You get five minutes and then you need to be out, or one of you needs to be gone. Do I make myself clear?"
"Of course, dear."
"But Vaggs, if you just listen to us-"
"Do I make myself clear, Valentino?"
"Crystal."
Charlie would be upset when she found out. She had a firm rule that everyone was welcome at the Hotel, even pyscho killers and their sleazy pimp boyfriends, but she did also concede that bans could be made for extreme cases. I'd consider this an extreme case, especially with the countless excuses I'd already made for them.
"Good." I took a deep breath, let it out with a low growl, "Good, now go home Val, and find somewhere else for the both of you to hang out. And you-" I turned to Alastor, "-can spend your night scrubbing blood out of the kitchen's every nook and cranny. No magical vanishing powers allowed."