Work Text:
Vee walked down the aisles of Micro Center looking for better parts to replace her old ones. While she was looking at the hard drives, she picked up on a suspicious voice in her proximity.
"Oooohh... you're a pretty-looking computer, aren't you?"
She turned around to see an overweight man with curly brown hair and unflattering facial hair caressing a Macbook.
"What do you think you're doing?" she asked.
The man grumbled something to himself "If that's another goddamned employee trying to keep me from my computers...." Then, he turned around "OH. MY. GOD. You're even more beautiful than that laptop!" the man nearly swooned.
Vee grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt to prevent him from falling on the laptops.
...
He looked up, and there she was. A mechanical woman, with a pistachio green television head and bent antennas, a microphone tail, and topped off with a fitted green suit. Her robotic form reflected in his glasses. In his kinky eyes, she was the most beautiful robot he had ever seen in his entire life. "I need you! Miss- please! Come to my place after this???"
She scanned him, and her facial recognition system quickly came up with a match. "You're the Nortoruis Robot Fucker, aren't you? Nice try, man, but there's no way I'm going ANYWHERE with you." She wrapped her microphone cord around his legs to hold him in place and let go of his collar. "Sheesh. You look like you haven't taken a shower in YEARS. No wonder you can only hook up with computers."
The Nortoruis Robot Fucker was infamous among robots. In short, he was a robot rapist. For years, he held a repuation for seudcing and raping female-presenting robots. Before meeting Vee, he had a grand total of 256 victims, all mechanical; this included sentiant robots, computers, televisions, VHS players, and phones. For the sentiant robots, if they did not agree to have sex with them, he would hack them, or even turn them off to get his way. A good number of the robots died as a result of his hacking. As it wasn't illegal to rape robots, there was nothing that the police could do about him. It was sadly the way things had to be. The overarching robot community put out a bounty for his life; whoever killed him would be rewarded liberally.
Nobody knew when or where he would strike next, and unfortatnly for Vee, that time and place was right now, at that Micro Center, and he was dead-set on making her his 257th victim.
"Pull me in tighter with that cord...." he moaned, reaching towards her screen.
"No." She pushed his hand back.
"Miss! You really are the hottest robot ever made! Take me to your place if you won't come to mine!" he moaned again, this time trying to reach towards her bowtie.
She grabbed her mic and smacked him with it. "Shut it, robot fucker. You will pay for all 256 machines you've raped. I wouldn't fuck you if I could. No robot would."
He grinned, appearing to like being dominated by her. "Hit me again! Hit me harder!"
Once again, Vee slapped him across the face with her tail. She did it again and again, with his kinky pleas growing louder and louder. Eventually, she dragged him out behind the building, with the hope of beating him to death.
Behind the building, Vee threw the Notorious Robot Fucker onto the ground and released him from her cord. She looked at her mic. "Damn," she said nonchalantly. "It's breaking." She hit him once again. Instantly, she looked up and saw a group of people surrounding them. They... were.... cheering her on? Yes, indeed. Both geeks and robots alike hated the Notorious Robot Fucker!
"OMG! You're Vee from Dandy's World!? My brother loves that show! I'm recording this because he won't believe that one of the characters from his show was beating someone to death!" one of them shouted.
"Yeah, hit him harder!"
"Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!" the people chanted.
Just as she was about to smash her busted microphone into his face once again, the Notorious Robot Fucker had one last trick up his sleeve to woo her. Suddenly, he pulled out a remote and aimed it at her head. It quickly transmitted a fast-acting, antivirus-resistant, computer virus to her. Her eyes widened briefly before her screen flickered to a blue error screen as she lost control of her actions.
A voice called out from the crowd. "Someone! Hack her again! Override his hack and delete the virus!!!"
Weakly, the Notorious Robot Fucker tried to control Vee with his remote. "Go- Drive these haters away!"
Vee turned to face the crowd, her screen still displaying the error screen. The display glitched as if her firewalls were trying to delete the virus. However, before she could attack any of the spectators, one of them pulled out their laptop and programmed a counteractive trojan horse virus in real-time, with the sole purpose of deleting the Notorious Robot Fucker's virus and restoring her control! "ACCEPT THE FILE!!!!" the white-hat hacker exclaimed, air-dropping the good virus to Vee.
She immediately accepted the file and regained autonomy.
"NO!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE MINE! Stay with me! You belong to me!" he desperately reached for his controller, but before he could do anything, the remote was gone; it had been taken by one of the onlookers and thrown at his head. It shattered on impact.
Within 10 minutes, the Notorious Robot Fucker was completely incapacitated, and Vee's mic was as busted as the man she had just hit 255 times, once for each victim. With one final motion, she removed what remained of her mic from the cord, and smashed it into his mouth. She used the cord to strangle him, just to ensure that he was dead. 256 strikes, and he was dead from blunt force brain trauma. The audience erupted into applause.
Vee stepped away from the Notorious Robot Fucker with her arms crossed. She looked back at him one last time, her focus on the smashed remains of her mic. "Aw, my microphone’s broken. Oh well—worth it."
With that, she walked through the cheering audience as they threw money at her and chanted words of applause. The Notorious Robot Fucker was dead, and she could collect her prize money for killing him. But for now, her top priority was repairing herself.
THE END.