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As the elevator rose, Diana felt a burning in her gut, the kind of burn that does not dissipate with time. The kind that steals your breath and leaves you to die. The still air felt suffocating, her lungs still sore from crying out, her face stiff from countless fallen tears. Yet, she still stood, legs slightly shaking under her own weight. Though it wasn’t like anyone else would notice anyway. Everyone's eyes seemed to be far off, still grappling with the same loss as her. Some seemed more put together than others, but she could tell that they all needed support just like she did.
Even though she had killed Wolfgang she could not bring herself to hate her. She didn’t have a choice. She had to kill. She couldn’t deny the fact that she had begun to take a liking to Eva. The way that she would play with her hair when she talked, or how her head always was tilted slightly to the left when she was interested in something.
Not like it mattered anyway, with any hope of them being together squashed when Eva delivered her final speech. Even though Eva was not the only one who had passed. God, she felt as if she couldn’t keep her head on straight. Diana made sure that her head was held high, as if to demonstrate that she was strong, she could handle a loss and pull through. As a guiding light in the darkness, Diana stood as tall as she could, to show the others that she could handle this, she could handle anything and anything and everything thrown her way.
The elevator doors opened with a rumbling sound. Just as they did when they had entered who knows how long ago. With the loss of Wolfgang and Eva heavy on her mind, she ambled to her room, thoughts scattered on what her next move would be. She flicked the lights on as she walked over to her bed, not even taking off her shoes as she fell face first into the covers.
The brightly lit room felt empty as Diana turned her head staring blankly ahead where she had last seen Eva that morning as she had left for the day. At the time she didn’t notice it but looking back, her hands must have been shaking. Though at the time she was more worried about herself. That note that had been slipped under her door had consumed her thoughts, just as Eva wanted. It had felt as if an eternity had passed since she had received that damn note. Playing into Eva’s hand, just like she had wanted her to.
Not like she could do anything about it at this point. Slowly peeling off her heels, she properly laid down, arm resting over her eyes. Flashbacks filled her mind as she tried to focus on relaxing. From her confrontation with Wolfgang to Eva’s execution, the day seemed to have its claws deep in her mind. The memory of Eva’s face as she fell backwards into the flames had consumed her mind, much like the outline of Wolfgang’s body when the battery had exploded.
A few minutes had passed before she had noticed the tears trailing down her temples and into her hair, still done up from that morning. It wasn’t fair. They were all supposed to survive together. They were going to find a way out. Of course they would still be able to escape, but it wasn’t the same. Eva and Wolfgang were gone and there was nothing that she was able to do about it. She felt useless. Sure, she could guide the rest of them forward but their less than warm reception to her speech made her burn hot with shame.
Restless, she rolled out of bed and flopped into the chair in front of her vanity. It was still messy from when she had applied the makeup over the wound on her arm even through the pain that ebbed through. Sighing, Diana reached for the makeup wipes on the top, carefully removing the visible mascara lines that streamed down her face. Scrubbing away at the remaining foundation on her face usually felt freeing as the layers of makeup were stifling after a long day. But now removing them just felt as if she was accepting what happened.
Fuck.
Properly giving herself a once over in the mirror, she looked like shit. Bloodshot eyes, nose running and red, and lips red from being bitten over the course of the day. Why her? What did she do to deserve this hell? Eva and Wolfgang definitely did not deserve the fate that they were handed. No one deserved that. Being forced to kill another lest you are killed wasn’t fair. She wanted to get out. She wanted out more than anything.
In a fit of rage Diana raised her arms smashing them down into the vanity. Swiping the various products off of the vanity onto the floor. She released a cry of anguish that she had been holding in for far too long. She thought they were friends. Why would she frame her? Hearing her explanation wasn’t enough. They could have figured it out together. Why didn’t Eva trust her? Did she not reach out enough to make sure she was okay? Was it Diana’s fault that the murder had happened in the first place?
This was not going to solve anything. She collapsed to her knees, letting out a defeated sigh. Gazing across the room she saw Eva’s clothes that were still draped over the large plush chair in her room. Stumbling over, she gently picked up one of the blazers that was on the top of the pile. Pressing it into her face, she breathed in the light scent of the perfume that still lingered on it.
This blazer must have been from when Diana had practically begged her to do her hair the first night of bunking together. Eva begrudgingly agreed to her plan had made Diana so happy at the time. She thought that she was breaking through the tough wall that Eva had put up. They had tried a few different styles and Eva had even picked out a perfume to try out just for the evening. The now bittersweet memory made her smile faintly.
Walking back over to the bed and flicking off the lights, she pulled back the covers placing the blazer on the now empty side of the bed. She pulled off her accessories and carefully placed them onto the nightstand. Diana curled up on the bed, pulling the covers over herself. Pulling her knees in tight and putting the blazer underneath her head, she took a deep breath. Feeling the weight of the day, she let the sleep ebb over her brain, hoping to see Eva again in her dreams.