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Branzy’s shivering as he leaves his small house by the river that runs through town, despite wearing a thick santa themed coat and winter trousers, winter boots and a santa hat he pulls further down to cover his freezing ears. It’s the evening of Toy Day, December 24th, and he decided he wanted to take a nice stroll through FUNHOUSE TOWN before he settles down for the night and waits for Santa to come with his Toy Day present, maybe check out what his animal neighbours are doing for the festive evening.
As he walks over the bridge toward the town square, he sees SB, the anthropromorphic penguin, and his deer friend (pun fully intended), Rek, having a snowball fight. He briefly considers joining them, but another breeze hits him and he decides that he’s already cold enough, so he just waves to them before continuing his walk to the townsquare.
He walks by the mayor’s house and briefly stops in his tracks when he sees the sign hanging on the door. “Out & About! - CLOWNS”. A shiver runs down his spine. The chances that he’ll come across the mayor, the scary, intimidating mayor, are low, but much higher than he’d prefer. Because even if there’s a 99.99% chance that the mayor is doing legal stuff in the town hall, there’s always still a 0.01% chance that he’s “out and about” in the town, where Branzy could stumble across him and that thought scares Branzy endlessly. Why did no one warn him that moving into the cozy, wholesome town FUNHOUSE TOWN would put him at risk of either being murdered or dying of fear?!
He takes a shaky breath and slowly continues walking, absentmindedly rubbing his gloved hands over his arms, hoping to warm himself up a little. He follows the biscuit path toward the townsquare, where he finds Kaboodle, the blue and white bunny villager, building a snowman by the Mayor’s tree, a halfway grown pine. She beams flowers when she sees him, waves her gloved paw, causing small bits of snow to fly everywhere.
“Hi Branzy!” she yells. Branzy greets her with an equally happy wave. He briefly helps her with the snowman’s face, before moving on. He still wants to see what the others are up to. He goes towards the train station next.
On his way, he comes across Zam, some sort of yellow bird, and Ash, a who-knows-what, who are bickering with each other and rolling in the snow while Redd, a red cardinal, watches them, a red umbrella in his hand to protect himself from the snow. Branzy watches the three for a few minutes before he continues walking.
And then, when he gets to the train crossing, he sees someone he’s not seen before. Some sort of deer, maybe? It’s not Rek, but – as far as he knows – Rek is the only deer in FUNHOUSE TOWN. Maybe they’re new. Maybe he should talk to them and introduce himself. He puts on a light smile and aproaches the deer.
Just when he’s about to say hello, he notices the visibly stressed, maybe upset expression on the deer person’s face, hears a quiet muttering. Something about Toy Day being ruined? That’s no good.
“Excuse me?” he asks carefully, approaching the deer, “Are you okay?”
The deer looks at him. “No!” the deer says, “Toy Day is ruined ! The presents’ name tags disappeared and there’s no Santa! There’s no way I can –” The deer eyes widen as their eyes take in Branzy’s appearance. “ Wait… You’re perfect. You look like Santa!”
Branzy looks down at his outfit. “I guess so, yeah,” he says and the deer nods.
“I’m Jingle,” they say, “Santa’s black-nose reindeer. Look, I need– Surely you know your neighbours, right?”
“Yeah, I– I do,” Branzy says, just a tad bit confused by the deer’s sudden enthusiasm. The deer claps their hands (or hooves).
“That’s great,” they say, “You wouldn’t mind playing Santa and handing out the presents for your neighbours, right? Save Toy Day and make everyone sooo happy?”
“Uh, I guess I could do that,” Branzy says and the deer, Jingle, smiles.
“Alright,” he says, then… frowns. “Um… Hm… Your beard… It seems a little lackluster. Not Santa enough.”
Branzy raises an eyebrow and the deer stutters.
“Oh, no, I don’t mean that as an insult,” he says, just hands a tie-on Santa beard to Branzy. “ Just wear this so no one notices you’re not actually Santa. ”
“Okay,” Branzy says, putting on the beard. Jingle hands him the Santa bag next and Branzy takes it.
“Give these to their respectful owners and then come back here,” Jingle says, “ I’ll be sure to reward your work. ”
Branzy nods and starts his impromptu mission. He doesn’t know all the corresponding recipients of every gift, but he manages to sort them through the process of elimination. He hands out all the cute new furniture, shirts and sweaters, all the items to the villagers of FUNHOUSE TOWN, who all react so happily as they open the presents and get exactly what they have been wishing for.
And then there’s only one present left, paired with one single person who it could be intended for. The mayor. A fullbody shiver runs through Branzy’s body and it’s not (just) from the cold. What if the gift is not what the mayor wanted? What if he’ll blame Branzy for it, even though Branzy’s just the one handig out the presents! He’ll remove him from the town for sure!
Branzy sighs to himself. No, he can’t wallow in self pity. He needs to do his job as Santa, even if a recipient is slightly scary. He takes a deep breath before walking to the town hall. But when he gets there, it’s closed. That means he’ll have to find the mayor somewhere else in the town. He walks through the town for a bit, keeping his eyes open for the mayor before he decides to check the mayor’s house.
When he gets there, the note saying that CLOWNS is “out & about” is gone, meaning that he’s at home. Right, so that means there won’t be any witnesses when CLOWNS gets rid of him for good.
Branzy hesitantly knocks at the door, before entering. He’s never been inside of the mayor’s house before, so he can’t help but look around before anything. It’s… strangely very much not scary. Most of the furniture in the main room seems to be balloon furniture and in general very fun-looking. And there’s Toy Day decorations everywhere. No guillotines anywhere.
And then he sees the mayor, sitting on the balloon chair facing him, his orange hair sticking up everywhere beneath the two pointed christmas hat, a clown nose on his nose, and a cute christmas sweater replacing his usual (question mark) multicoloured clown onesie.
The mayor performs an excited, happy emote as he jumps from the chair and walks over to Branzy. “Santa!” he says happily, clapping his hands together. Branzy performs a smile, tries to cover up his fear and surprise.
“Ho ho ho,” he says and takes out the last present from the gift bag, “Here is your present, my boy.”
CLOWNS takes the present and opens it, grinning happily as he sees that it’s a pink kitty themed sweater. “Thank you, Santa!” he says.
“You’re– um, you’re welcome,” Branzy says as jolly as he can manage, which is a lot easier than before, now that CLOWNS just seems plain happy rather than scary. He gives a thumbs up and is about to announce his leave, when CLOWNS speaks.
“Santa,” he says, “Would you like to stay for tea? I made some cookies and tea. Oh, but you could have milk instead, if you want. ”
A part of Branzy wants to decline and get home as fast as possible, away from the still slightly scary mayor, but he’s also a bit scared that declining would result in him being removed from the town. And another really small part of him really wants cookies and tea. And make friends with CLOWNS. He loves making friends.
So he nods. “Yes, please,” he says, pauses, “Ho ho ho.”
CLOWNS looks slightly amused and nods, gestures for Branzy to follow him to the balloon table, which he does. He sits down on one of the balloon chairs CLOWNS pulls out for him and watches the mayor get a small tray with two colourful cups, a round can and a small plate with biscuits and place it on the table.
“I don’t actually have milk,” CLOWNS says almost sheepishly, “So I hope you’re okay with tea, Santa.”
Branzy nods. “Tea is just fine,” he says, watches as CLOWNS pours him a cup, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Santa,” CLOWNS says and takes a sip of his tea. Branzy takes a cookie and nibbles on it. It tastes really yummy.
“These are really good!” Branzy says, CLOWNS smiles flowers, just like Kabby often does.
“Thank you,” he says happily and, too, munches on a biscuit. The fireplace near them crackles comfortingly and Branzy can watch the snow fall to the floor through the window.
They eat biscuits and drink tea together in near silence until Branzy speaks again. “Hey, where’d you get this tea?” he asks. CLOWNS looks at him.
“Oh, I make it myself with apples and the seasonally sold vanilla,” he says, “I can teach you how to make it sometime if you want.”
Branzy hums. He’s actually really interested because he likes this tea, but he’s Santa right now. Does that mean he’ll have to dress up as Santa for it?
“Uh, sure,” he says, “That sounds nice.” He pauses. “Ho ho ho.”
CLOWNS chuckles. “That reminds me,” he says and jumps off his seat, “I’ll be right back. Wait here. ”
Branzy nods, but CLOWNS is already in the room over. He (Branzy) sighs softly and sips more of the tea. It’s really good. The cookies, too. He’s not entirely convinced that they’re not poisoned, but he believes (hopes) that CLOWNS as the mayor wouldn’t try to kill Santa and ruin future Toy Days for the other villagers. Surely he wants his town’s people to be happy on Toy Day. Besides, the cookies and tea both tasted really good and haven’t affected Branzy at all so far! The only symptom he’s getting is a stomachache, but he’s pretty sure that that’s the nervousity.
And then CLOWNS reenters the room, holding a small present in his hand, walks over until he’s standing right in front of Branzy.
“I like to give all habitants of my town a small gift for Toy Day every year,” he says, sounding oddly nervous, “ I usually send them per Mail, as I usually end up playing Santa for Jingle, but um– My point is that I usually find out what people like through conversations, but I never seem to manage to catch you alone or for long enough to start a conversation, so I wasn’t sure what you like. So, um, sorry if it’s a bit generic. ”
CLOWNS hands over the small present and Branzy has to note that it’s professionally wrapped, with a pretty box shape rather than the bag format Branzy always uses for his gifts. That’s really cool. Then he spots the name tag. “Branzy”. Actually, he shouldn’t be surprised that CLOWNS knows it’s him, after all he knows that… Jingle pulls this Santa getting scheme every year?! Branzy shakes his head.
“Thank you,” he says and carefully tries to open the present, “I’m sorry about that.”
CLOWNS shakes his head. “You didn’t do it on purpose,” he says, then pauses for a second, lowers his voice as he asks, “ Did you ?”
Branzy squeaks, feeling a tiny bit threatened and shakes his head. “Me? Never!” he rambles nervously, “I would never be scared of someone and avoid them for half a year because they looked at me scarily once! Never! Not in a million years! It, it definitely was just a coincidence!” He suddenly notices that the mayor has his eyes narrowed at him scarily and squeaks again. “I swear! I’m sorry! I–”
He’s cut off by a light chuckle. “You’re fine, you’re fine,” the mayor reassures him through chuckles, “I’m not mad, it happens, all the time, really .”
Branzy blinks confusedly. “You’re not going to kill me?” he asks, “Or forcibly remove me from FUNHOUSE TOWN?”
CLOWNS shakes his head with a slightly startled sounding laugh. “Kill you?” he asks, “Why would I kill you for that? I’m telling you, it happens all the time, I don’t blame you for being a little scared of me. ”
Okay, now Branzy just feels guilty. Apparently his not very happy expression is interpreted as disbelief or doubt and CLOWNS holds out his pinky finger for Branzy to take.
“I pinky promise that I’m not mad or will do anything to you,” he says, smiling softly. Branzy links it with his pinky finger.
“Alright,” he says, “I’ll stop avoiding you. And I’ll make it up to you for judging you prematurely!”
Clown chuckles. “ I’ll not be able to convince you otherwise, am I ?” he asks, “Alright, then you can start by opening your present.”
Branzy nods and carefully opens his present, undoing the bow and opening up the box. Inside is a translucent and glittery purple tubberbox with what looks like cat-shaped chocolate brownies. They look cute. As if on cue, and it probably is on cue, CLOWNS stands close and speaks.
“They’re vegan, gluten-free and low sugar,” CLOWNS says, “Since I don’t know what allergies or food preferences you might have. Hope that’s okay. ”
Okay, now Branzy just feels really guilty. “That’s really considerate,” he says, “Thank you, I’ll try them later, when I get home. They look really good.”
CLOWNS beams flowers. “Okay,” he says happily and sits back down on his seat, “ You better like them .”
Branzy chuckles, feeling a little bit threatened still, but a lot less scared than before. “I will,” he says and takes another cookie to nibble on, “If your cookies are anything to go off on, I’m confident they’ll be great.”
“The cookies are from Super T&T,” CLOWNS deadpans and Branzy’s mouth forms an ‘o’.
“Oh,” he says, “That’s embarrassing on my part.”
CLOWNS grins a devious grin. “Nah, I’m just messing with you,” he says, “I baked them. I’m glad you like them .”
“Oh,” Branzy says again. “Thank you and you’re welcome?”
CLOWNS smiles flowers. “You’re welcome and thank you,” he says happily. Branzy starts to realise that CLOWNS really makes use of his emotes. Maybe Branzy should go to Club LOL more, so he can use them more, too. He munches on another cookie. Maybe.
“You can take some of the cookies home with you,” CLOWNS says.
“Are you sure?” Branzy asks and CLOWNS nods.
“Yeah,” he says, “I couldn’t possibly eat all of them before they go bad. Besides, I’ve made them to share with the town, so I’ll be giving most of the ones you aren’t taking with you to the other villagers later.” He glances at the balloon clock in the corner. “ Or tomorrow. ”
Branzy nods slowly. “Alright,” he says, “Then I’ll be willing to take some with me.”
“You’re making it sound like you don’t want them,” CLOWNS teases, performing a suspicious emote, “ You don’t have to take them if you don’t want, you know .”
“No, no, no,” Branzy says, laughing, “I’ll gladly take them. As if I’d say no to these.”
CLOWNS smiles and Branzy does, too. This is really nice.
“I like your furniture,” Branzy says, munching on another cookie. CLOWNS squints at him.
“Is that code for ‘I want your furniture’ or just a compliment?” He asks. “ Because I’m not willing to part with any of it. ”
Branzy laughs. “Oh, no, it’s just a compliment to your design choices,” he says, “I’m not trying to guilt you into giving me your furniture. Unlike somebody… Or, well, ‘somebodies’.”
“Oh, they try that with you, too?” CLOWNS asks and Branzy nods. “That’s hilarious . You seem like someone who can’t say no. ”
Branzy crosses his arms. “Of course I can say no,” he says, “It’s a two-letter word!”
CLOWNS leans forward on the table. “You know exactly that that is not what I mean,” he says, “ To be entirely frank, you’re proving my point exactly .”
Branzy sighs. “So what if I get scammed all the time because I don’t have the heart to say no?” he asks dramatically. CLOWNS’ eyes sparkle.
“Oh, ho, ho,” he says, “That is hilarious. Hey Branzy, is that a Plastic Crown you’re carrying with you? I’ve always wanted one. You wouldn’t may-chance mind parting with it, right? ”
“Fuck you,” Branzy says, grinning, and pulls out the crown, “Yeah, you can have it.”
CLOWNS lightly pushes Branzy’s hand (and with that the crown) back toward Branzy.
“I was joking,” he says, “You’re supposed to say ‘nu-uh’.”
Branzy shakes his head, chuckles. “No, really, I’ve been meaning to get rid of the crown,” he says, “It fills up inventory space and it doesn’t fit me properly. I’d love to make it your problem instead of mine.”
CLOWNS raises an eyebrow and rummages in his trouser pocket, before pulling out a hat. “How about I trade it with a purple Santa hat?” he asks and Branzy agrees, hands the crown to CLOWNS, who hands him the Santa hat.
“Okay, so, that trade completely defeated the point of what I was trying to do,” CLOWNS says, “But, no matter.” He takes a cookie. “You’re in no way obligated to trade with anyone. If you don’t want to part with an item, you can just say no and most of the others will leave it at that. If someone tries to discuss or pressure you into trading, they’re not going to be mad if you still refuse. You can walk away or even tell me. No one will do anything to you while I’m on your side. ”
Branzy’s face falls, likely completely expressionless or slightly shocked. Not what he expected. At all. Far too serious. “You’ve got it, boss,” he says, saluting. It has the humorous effect he was hoping it’d have, as CLOWNS laughs softly.
“Boss, huh?” he asks. “Well, I guess I have a spot open for a left-hand-man. ”
“A left-hand-man?!” Branzy squawks, “Why can’t I be the right-hand-man?”
“That’s Isabell, sorry,” CLOWNS says, “But, you know, a left hand is pretty important, too, no?”
Branzy hums. “Well, I guess so,” he says, pauses, “Wait, is this, like, a legally binding work contract?”
“It can be if you want it to,” CLOWNS says, “It can also just be a legally binding friendship agreement.”
Branzy hums and drinks the last of his tea. “I’d like to be friends,” he says, “That’d be nice.”
“Okay,” CLOWNS says happily, then glances at the balloon clock again, “You should probably go to Jingle before he leaves for the year.”
Branzy’s eyes widen in a shocked emote. “Oh dang,” he says, stands up, “I’ll be leaving for the night, then, catch Jingle.”
CLOWNS stands up, too, and packs the cookies in a mini bag, before handing it to Branzy. Branzy smiles.
“Thank you,” he says, lets CLOWNS walk him to the door, “Bye!”
CLOWNS smiles, too. “Good luck,” he says, “Feel free to come by my house or the townhall any time! It gets a bit lonely sometimes. ”
“I will,” Branzy promises as he walks out the door, “Happy Toy Day, Mayor CLOWNS!”
