Chapter Text
It was a strange phenomenon, there was no denying that fact.
It was an even stranger phenomenon when the general population seemed to widely accept the strange phenomenon, after ‘numerous research studies and scientific tests funded by the government’. So, there was about a ten percent chance that it all could still be bullshit. As much as Tsukishima would like to believe in that ten percent chance (he held onto that tiny thread of disbelief and skepticism as long as he could) he had a hard time denying the possibility that the research was correct. That this thing they had dubbed the Hazy Effect really did exist.
It had all started up about a year ago, during his own freshman year of college. Most people expect college freshman, away from home and truly on their own for the first time, to experience at least a touch of homesickness. It was natural. It was also natural for college freshman to forget their classes, get lost around campus and forget where buildings where. It wasn’t so natural for upperclassmen to forget those things, and it certainly was not natural for students to suddenly forget who they were.
This wasn’t just plaguing the colleges though, it seemed to happening everywhere. For no reason people were forgetting things, about themselves, their lives, anything. It would range from people being hospitalized because they could not even recall what any part of their name was to people blanking out on the simplest of tasks twenty times a day.
These occurrences were not the strangest part though, it was what happened that ‘cured’ those who forgot, what made them remember.
Generally, most people just brushed off their memory lapses as being too stressed, too tired, working too hard, the typical excuse for poor health in any society. As soon as they got home and were able to relax with their families, friends or loved ones, they were fine. It wasn’t until the same thing happened with the college freshman that doctors and scientists began to make connections and form hypothesis. Healthy eighteen and nineteen year olds that had been essentially blank slates for weeks, for months, were suddenly back to their old selves the moment their family members came to visit them. They were all very confused as to why their mother, father, uncle, godmother, significant other, anyone important to them was clutching them tightly and sobbing something about their amnesia.
These episodes of memory loss continued to happen and seemed to follow the same sort of pattern. People would forget things, both little and big, but the moment they came into contact with those important to them everything would be alright. Everyone was baffled, confused, and slightly scared. They were all worried it was some sort of terrorist plot or bio-chemical agent that has been released into their drinking water, as was the logical conclusion. These fears lasted through the year it took for scientist and doctors to do their research into the memory lapses. They put every spare moment and every spare dollar into finding even the smallest possibly thing about it all so there could be some sort of ease.
Tsukishima himself can remember having his own little bouts of blackouts and memory losses, he never landed in the hospital as he always seemed to get a call from Yamaguchi or his family when he needed it. That seemed to be enough for him. The following year and official statement was released about the Hazy Effect, named for the fact that most people reported they felt as though they were trapped in a fog or thick haze during their episodes. The cause of it? Being away from those important to you for too long. That was it. That was the reason.
Some thought the idea stupid and untrue (this was the camp Tsukishima was in) others believed it right away and some were on the fence until they heard more information. The report continued on saying that when a person was away from those important to them for too long, be it family, close friends, loved ones, even a pet, they started forgetting things. The longer a person doesn’t have contact with their important ones, the more severe the memory loss, ultimately leading to the amnesia like state that so many have been in.
The prevention for the memory loss was simple though, you just needed to stay in contact with people. Depending on your bond with a person a simple bond or phone call would be enough to bring you back to clarity and let you go about your day, for others you would need to physically see them and touch them in order to feel clear again. Tsukishima didn’t go so far as to think it was all a conspiracy (he was a skeptic, not stupid) but it did all seem too easy and simple to think that human contact was the solution to this particular problem. After all, wasn’t it usually the cause?
Still, the information was helpful to know. A person could tell when the Haze was slowly settling over them, it usually came slowly, wrapping itself around a person like a blanket with a false sense of security. When Tsukishima felt it he pulled out his phone and usually texted Yamaguchi right away, he was his best friend after all. There were other times when he received a text or a call from family members and even on occasion his old teammates form Karasuno, if for whatever reason the government wanted to scare people into being social it definitely worked.
Since the discovery, people were trying harder to make connections with those who they saw every day, making an effort to get to know the co-worker in the office across from them, the fellow train rider they saw every morning, or the student they sat next to. No one wanted to be in a situation where they completely alone and vulnerable. Even Tsukishima had made some new friends in the past year, although he wouldn’t really call them friends it was of no surprise to him that his view of their relationship mattered little.
“Tsukki!” As the saying went, speak of the devil and he shall appear, or devils in this case. Kuroo had called him over while Bokuto had stood up, waving his hands wildly just in case the blonde hadn’t spotted them in the cafeteria. Tsukishima had learned the hard way that ignoring them just cause a bigger scene, so their lunch dates had become a regular occurrence once they had discovered they all attended the same college.
“You know you can still run away.” Another familiar voice spoke beside him and Tsukishima turned to see that Akaashi had quietly appeared beside him. “I don’t have that luxury, you should save yourself.”
“Kuroo threatened to break out into a song and dance number in the middle of the cafeteria if I blatantly ignored them again. That would be worse than sitting through another lunch.” Despite their rather harsh words, the two shared a smile before heading over to the table where Kuroo and Bokuto were deep in discussion about the merits of croutons on salad."
“I mean really bro, what are they there for? Is a salad supposed to look pretty?”
“It’s not about the aesthetic value of the salad. It’s there for the crunch factor.”
Bokuto scrunched his face slightly before taking a bite of the sandwich in his hands and replying with a slightly muffled, “But what if I don’t want my salad to be crunchy?”
“Please don’t talk with your mouth full, Bokuto.” Akaashi reminded the older man of basic table manners as he and Tsukishima reached the table and set down their bags. Bokuto’s face lit up at the appearance of Akkashi and he did indeed swallow before greeting them.
“I thought you said you couldn’t make lunch today?”
“My meeting was cancelled, or I should say my professor was forgetting things so he was sent home for the day.”
“He was forgetting things on a Monday?” Kuroo questioned while he stabbed another crouton with his fork and waved it in front of Bokuto’s face before eating it.
“Apparently he was here all weekend working on his own projects. Didn’t go home to see his family or really be in contact with them, the secretary didn’t seem too surprised that they had to tell him to go home.” Akaashi shrugged lightly as he finished explaining.
“I think I’d forget things too if I didn’t see you for the weekend.” Bokuto commented with a slight pout as he tried to get Akaashi’s attention and it did work to some degree as Akaashi smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek.
“Bro, would you miss me?” Kuroo feigned a look of hurt and worry as he placed a hand over his heart.
“I always see you in my dreams, bro.” Bokuto replied as he reached his free hand across the table for Kuroo to grab and he indeed did, complete with tears brimming at the corners of his eyes as they held hands.
“On that note, I’m getting something to eat.” Tsukishima having had his close up observation of public displays of affection for the day stood back up and started to walk over to the main section of the cafeteria.
“Wait, I’ll go with you.” Kuroo let go of Bokuto’s hand and pushed the remains of his salad off to the side. “The rest of that is just soggy lettuce.” The two began to walk through the cafeteria, leaving Akaashi and Bokuto to their own lunches, and probably a few more kisses.
“By the way, you had your hand on the wrong side.”
“What?”
“When you were fake clutching your heart, your hand was on your right side instead of your left.”
Kuroo was silent for a few seconds before he threw his arm around Tsukishima and pulled him in for a rather awkward side hug. “I think I’d lose my head if it wasn’t for you, Tsukki!”
“I think you’d be just fine.” He frowned as he attempted to extract himself from the older man’s grip. “You have your bro and your boyfriend, don’t you?” It was no secret that the three men Tsukishima had found himself having lunch with for almost a year were all in a relationship together. The trio didn’t exactly broadcast it around the school, but they didn’t deny it when people asked. Plus both Kuroo and Bokuto were so open and free with their displays of affection that there would have probably been a lot more rumors of cheating if they had tried to hide it.
It was something that they all claim just happened naturally in the wake of the Haze Effect and the mild panic that ensued last year. They were all already friends beforehand and had spent a fair amount of time together both in and outside of classes. In various weekends and long stretches of time actually spent apart, all three of them found themselves coming down with the Haze, a little faster and more aggressive than normal the longer they spent apart. When they all figured out that they were each other’s ‘cures’ for those particular bouts being in a relationship just seemed like the next logical step.
Admittedly, Tsukishima had rolled his eyes at their explanation but decided to say little else. It was their decision after all. It seemed like a rather stupid reason to enter a relationship together, but he knew that was his own opinion. What really annoyed him most about the whole thing was that Kuroo had been constantly bringing up the fact that he wouldn’t mind adding Tsukishima to the mix for the last six months or so, and that Akaashi and Bokuto offered no objections. Bokuto hurriedly agreed to the idea whenever Kuroo mentioned it around him and Akaashi would simply state something along the lines of, “If that’s what Tsukishima wants”.
The fact that Kuroo brought it up so much made him think the whole thing was just another one of his jokes, something to rile him up to a degree. Tsukishima met these comments with his usual brand of annoyance and glares and then the subject was dropped, although the idea still weighed on his mind from time to time. It wasn’t like he was in the same boat as them to avoid the Haze, he had his family and best friend for that, those were the only people he needed. Still, it wasn’t like he had been away from any of them long enough to discover whether or not they did have an effect on him.
These thoughts were running through his head as they moved through the line to pay, Tsukishima absentmindly grabbing a few items to eat as Kuroo’s chatter filled the background until he heard his name. He turned his head to find Kuroo looking at him with a touch of concern in his eyes while eloquently replying with a, “Huh?”
“I asked if you were okay. You seemed out of it.”
“Oh, yeah. I’m fine, just thinking about things.”
A beat or two of silence before Kuroo finally prodded again, “Are you really okay?”
Tsukishima sighed before answering, “I had a long phone call with my mother on Friday and I was texting Yamaguchi on and off yesterday. I’m fine, Kuroo.” For whatever reason, Kuroo always seemed concerned that Tsukishima was in danger of being strongly affected by the Haze. It was probably because he was aware that Tsukishima really didn’t have any close friends around campus, or any friends at all aside from those three. Tsukishima just needed to send a quick text when he felt confused though, nothing more.
“You know you can rely on us too, right?” Tsukishima said nothing as he paid for his food. “It’s not like there’s a limit to how many numbers you can have on your emergency contact card. Plus, I think it would just be safer if you had some people who were, you know in the same city in case something would happen.”
“Nothing will happen Kuroo. I’ve never had a serious episode.”
“What happens if one you do and then can’t get a hold of your family or Yamaguchi? Wouldn’t you rather have someone you know at least take care of you until they get here rather than be stuck in some hospital?”
Okay, he had a point there. He seemed to be really aggressive about him adding their numbers to his card though and a thought crossed Tsukishima’s mind as they sat back down at the table. “Is this about the rest of this week?”
“Honestly? Yes.” Kuroo looked so serious, it was a little odd. “Please, if nothing else it will make me feel better. Please, Tsukishima.” The two stared each other down for a few moments when Akaashi and Bokuto watched in silence, until Tsukishima finally sighed and pulled out his card and phone and proceeded to add all three of their numbers to it.
The emergency contact cards were something they had started recommending people carry with them at all times a few months ago, mainly so that potential memory lapses could be resolved quickly and the overcrowding of hospitals could be avoided once again. It was basically a list of numbers of who to call in the event that you found a person in an advanced state of Haze. Tsukishima showed his card to Kuroo with a frown on his own face and asked, “Happy?” before clipping it back to the zipper of his backpack.
“Over the moon, thank you Tsukki.” He did look a little more relaxed as he sat back down to start eating his lunch. “Now I can focus on my work and make sure we get an A on this.” Bokuto reach over and high fived Kuroo loudly as they began to chat about their project they would be working on the rest of the week. The three of them were taking of the needed generals together and had a rather large assignment due next week so they would be taking their lunch time to work on it. Tsukishima tuned out their chatter as he began to eat his own sandwich, but didn’t miss the small smile that Akaashi gave in his direction. It wasn’t like he was worried, he would see them all again Saturday since they’d already made plans to meet up for breakfast. Going four days without really seeing any of them wouldn’t kill him, right? Right?
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The first day was fine. It felt a little weird to eat lunch by himself, but it wasn’t like it was a task he was unfamiliar or uncomfortable with. Put on your headphones and eat, two easy steps. His classes were normal since he didn’t see any of the other three throughout the day either and the afternoon spent doing homework in his room wasn’t anything new either. It was that night though that something began to feel off.
Tsukishima felt the beginnings of a Haze start, a sort of spacey and tired feeling, like you want to lie down and take a nap but don’t want to at the same time. He blinked hard a few times and stood up from his chair to do a few stretches, maybe he’d just been sitting too long. The feeling was still lingering after another hour though. He pulled out his phone and stared at his contacts for a moment before pulling up his conversation with Yamaguchi and sending a quick text his way. The two talked back and forth for most of the night and Tsukishima did feel some of the Haze subside. Maybe it was just an extra bout of the typical college blues and stress making this one feel worse that had to be it. He went to bed that night with that thought in mind and confident in the fact that he would wake up with a clear head in the morning.
That didn’t happen.
In fact, Tsukishima woke up feeling even worse than the night before. He had to re-pack his backpack three or four times and kept forgetting if he even had his glasses on. He called home quickly before leaving class, figuring even a short conversation with his mom would clear his head, but as he hung up nothing felt different. The blonde shook his head rather violently, as if that would clear it, and while he probably should have just stayed in bed there was no reason to miss class. He was fine after all.
The walk through campus was slow and sluggish, Tsukishima found himself stopping every so often to even remember where he was going. Shit. What was this feeling? Why was he feeling like this? His Haze was never this bad, never this severe. He found a bench and lowered himself onto it as he pulled his phone out ready to call Yamaguchi this time even if he was in class too. He didn’t know his password though, he couldn’t open his phone. Wait, was this even his phone? It looked familiar but he should know the password to his own phone, right?
Wait.
Where was he even? Tsukishima looked up at his surroundings for some sort of landmark, but nothing looked familiar. Maybe there was a map or something. He was about to stand up when someone approached him. “Hey, are you alright?” the feminine voice asked.
“I-uh, yeah. I think so…” Tsukishima even seemed unsure of his words, but he saw a look of silent communication pass between the two other people the girl was with. What was that about?
“Hey,” her voice was gentler this time and she squatted down so she could see his face a little better. “can you tell me your name?”
Of course he could, he knew his own name after all. It was….it was….nothing. Nothing was coming to mind. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, as if stalling for time to see if it would come to him.
It didn’t.
He didn’t know his name. He didn’t even know his goddamn name. What the hell happened?