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V had rarely felt so out of place. His limbs were wrapped too tight in the layers of a pointlessly ironed corpo suit, yearning to crawl out of this expensive, cold skin. It was probably the case for his partner too, seeing as the buttons of his shirt had been threatening to pop out all evening. But it wasn’t only the outfits, everything around him felt wrong. The room was silent, dimly lit by the soft and almost ethereal orange rays of sunset that shone through the biggest — and clearest —window he'd ever seen. In front of him, two holo fish were slowly circling each other in a hypnotizing dance. Jackie was standing at the little table, on the right of a giant terrarium built into the wall, calm and focused, seemingly looking over some details.
Quiet. Peaceful. Warm.
Inappropriate.
To anyone, they would have looked like two rich tourists coming back to their luxurious hotel room after a good afternoon of visiting the best Night City quarters. Maybe they’d had a nice dinner out and were now resting before going to bed, and they’d have another blissfully unproblematic day when they'd wake up.
But V's leg hadn't stopped bouncing since he'd sat on that luxurious sofa. He’d been fiddling with his cuffs, his eyes flicking to every corner, his ears on high alert for any suspicious footsteps in the corridor.
They were not here to chill.
They were here to commit a damn heist. Rob the most important bigwig in town, and the most powerful corpo in the world.
To sit in this little paradise of a room was driving him mad.
"Hhhhh...", he sighed, closing his eyes briefly before looking up at Jackie. "How can you stay so calm?"
Jackie turned his face towards him, almost taken aback, as if he had just been pulled from some deep thought. Maybe he'd been worrying too?
"Heh, well..." His lips curled up into a satisfied smile. "We're doing it tonight, ese. We're about to become people."
Not worrying, then. Daydreaming, more like. V could see the stars in his eyes even from his seat on the sofa. He wasn't sure if this confidence was comforting or even more alarming.
"Yeah, or we're about to end our career prematurely. Among other things.”
"Hey now, where does that come from?" Jackie's gaze softened a little, but there was also a genuine incomprehension in it. "We've done all sorts of jobs against all sorts of people, and we're still here!" He added, spreading his arms wide to his sides.
V pouted, and his doubts must have been written all over his face, because Jackie continued, in a lower voice.
"In fact, this is even easier than some other shit we've done. We already know exactly where the stuff is! We get in, grab the thing, walk out of the front door, and boom, V! Job well done, and you and I cash in our eddies before we even make it out of the Afterlife."
He did make it sound so easy. Was it, really? Technically it was all doable, but this time, the stakes were... He didn’t even know how far this could lead. And that's exactly why they couldn’t afford to be careless. They had to be sure everything was perfect, they had to be focused. If they fucked this up, this was probably their last night alive. Jackie's confidence was nothing but foolishness, and it could be a threat.
"Shit, you're really spooked about this, ain’t ya”, Jackie said with a sudden gravity.
"Who wouldn't be!”
Jackie came to sit on the sofa next to V, his left arm extended on the backrest, entering V's personal space. Not that he minded.
V's leg was still bouncing frantically, and he was now drilling holes into the ground with his gaze. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to look at his partner.
“We're talking about the richest corpo baby and a completely new product that no one knows shit about, and it’s worth more eddies than you and I combined will ever see in our lifetime! This one is bigger than us, man, if we make a mistake-"
"Then we don't, easy as that!" Jackie answered as if he was telling a kid not to look at the sun.
He leaned forward, closer to V's face, and added with a steady voice full of conviction:
"We've made it this far because we're good, V. What, don’t you have faith in us?"
V clenched his jaw, his frustration growing. Why couldn’t he understand-
"Don't you have faith in me?"
A silence, a sigh, and V hid his heavy head in his hands.
"It's not about that, Jackie..."
"But do you have faith in me?"
His stern tone indicated to V that Jackie was serious. Good, that was what V wanted, right?
He looked up at his partner, studied his eyes for a moment as he got lost in thought.
From the first job they did, Jackie had never left his side. They stuck together like mating bugs, he'd never been gifted such loyalty before. Sure, they’d messed up a few times, they’d had their arguments, but they'd never let each other down.
"I trust you with my life, you idiot."
At that, Jackie's soft smile was back on his face. His left hand came to rest on V's back in a comforting gesture. V wasn't sure why he was feeling so bashful.
"Feeling's mutual, ese. Couldn't dream of a better partner for this."
And V allowed himself to enjoy Jackie's warm presence for a while. Fully taking in the pressure of his palm, the sound of his relaxed exhales, the scent of his cologne — the only thing on him that made it past the ridiculous disguise, and he was grateful for it. Taking in everything. Because this might very well be…
His blood ran cold and his fingers started to prickle as he cycled back to grim worries.
"What if we aren't the problem, Jack? What if something... something happens, something goes wrong, outside of our control and, and-"
"Heyy, easy now, big boy."
The strong merc put his other hand on V's leg, as if he could just absorb his anxiety with his touch.
"If it's outside our control, then there'll be nothing we can do about it. But for now we can't predict the unpredictable, V. We can only do what we came here for, and if something happens, we'll improvise."
"What if we improvise bullshit?"
"Then we'll just blame it on the circumstances knowing we've done our best!"
V pondered for a bit. What if their best wasn’t enough? Would he really be able to live guilt-free if things turned out bad? He could see that his partner wasn't aligned with him on all this, and his demeanor did very little to reassure him. If anything, it spurred his nervousness even more.
So he finally voiced the loudest of his fears. The one he hadn't dared say out loud until then, because he worrried it'd become too real of a possibility, and he didn't want it to infect his partner’s mind. But keeping it to himself was too much, and maybe bringing it up could finally, finally get Jackie to understand, to share the feeling.
"Ain't you...", he exhaled and tried again. "Ain't you afraid of everything you could lose?"
V could practically feel Jackie's gaze on him, and he definitely heard the little smile when he replied:
"I prefer to be excited about all the things I could gain."
Of course he was. Ambitious, stupidly entitled, precious big guy. V closed his eyes and finally reclined into the sofa, admitting that nothing would save him from his turmoil. Jackie's arm found its place back on the backrest.
"And well..." he wrapped his arm around V's shoulders, giving him a firm squeeze. "I'll fight until they rip my heart out or toast my brain to protect what I don't wanna lose."
V opened his eyes and met Jackie's.
There were no more stars in them, no incomprehension, but an unwavering determination. A resolve that would survive any uncertainty.
Yeah. That, V could do with.
"Feeling's mutual."
He caught one last smile on his partner, rested his head on his shoulder and directed his attention back to the holo fish. To the quiet of the room, to the warm sunset on his cheeks.
He would fight until the end for moments like this.