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He remembers seeing him across the halls heading to the cafeteria, where every grade gathered for lunch. The boy's eyebrows were pointed and always relaxed, seeming indifferent at times. Shunto was waiting for a friend when they locked eyes for the first time.
He remembers their second time locking eyes, out on the field. Students were doing laps, whilst others stretched, but Shunto and a couple of his friends were hanging around mindlessly wasting time until next class. The boy was talking with a friend, a serious conversation from the looks of it. He looked concerned, leaning forward for more emphasis.
When the boy turned his head toward Shunto's group, he looked a bit surprised. Only for seconds until he turned back to his friend and continued their conversation, but Shunto kept his eyes on him.
The third time, he heard the boy's name from his friend calling him.
The friend was standing a few feet from Shunto, "Hey Junon-san, you coming?"
Friends of his were making him late for class, and when his eyes caught Shunto's, they became brighter. Like the dark, dark iris of his eyes pulled him in and Shunto had no other way but to leave before the boy got any closer. So he took the stairs down to his homeroom and thought about the boy all until classes ended that day.
Junon, one that someone could call for a flower that's delicate and yet tall with spikes that protected itself.
The difficulty was that this Junon boy was older than him, there was no one with that name in his year and he asked another student a grade above him if he knew of a Junon, there was none.
Shunto had just moved from Nagoya to Tokyo for family reasons, there wasn't much of a difference from one big city to another. Other than that, the students here spoke a little differently, and the number of students increased.
He got along fine with his classmates, friendly kids with a lot to talk about at times. Shunto was on the quieter side, letting his new friends do the talking whilst he nodded and agreed. They asked him of his old friends, how lucky he was to live so close to school and if he ever had a girlfriend before he moved.
He laughed it off and shook his head slightly, changing the conversation while he thought of the older boy that kept locking eyes with him.
The young boy thought by now that Junon had forgotten about him, just another student of the many and many in this school being awkward as they do for such an age.
Not that after those small interactions, Junon would take interest. Very much as the older student was walking down the hall and out the window he caught Shunto's figure crowded with other boys, laughing about something. How his soft brown hair swept to the side and his eyes crinkled in a cute way. Even if being around others Junon could tell that his body wouldn't let go of some tension.
As if he was waiting for someone to take him by the hand and tell him it was okay to let go of the loneliness, the unknown.
Junon had stopped and just looked out the window, waited for the boy to turn and look back at him as he had done before. He recognized him, how couldn't he when he was distinct from the others. The boy had a soft look with a perfect button nose to compliment him.
He was all endearing to those who took more time in understanding him, even if now Junon didn't know his name. He would tuck it somewhere in his brain and come back to it when the chance would come again, perhaps cross in the school hallways.
And they did, not long after a week when Shunto was last to leave class. The bell for lunch had rung and he was looking through some notes, took his time to walk to the cafeteria even though he was hungry. Right when Junon was leaving with some omusubi in one hand and a water bottle in the other.
Junon stopped in his tracks, noticing that the boy was walking with his face buried in his notebook. "They aren't going to leave you anything good, if you don't hurry up." That voice brought Shunto's attention back.
The older boy's face showed he had eaten a rice ball as his stuffed cheeks gave room for a smile. Junon gave no time for Shunto to answer back as he left quickly with one last glance.
Shunto watched as the boy disappeared around the corner.
Ah he remembers.
Junon hadn't forgotten about him, had made some kind of contact and that raised something in Shunto. He could feel it, the hairs on the back of his neck, the tingles in his fingers, so he picked up his pace and entered the cafeteria.
His first words spoken to Junon were careful, he had doubts if things were going to turn out good. Shunto and a friend took a different route to get to the library, past the third years but he saw no sign of Junon and went on. His skills of being discreet were awful, lifting his head over others, turning his head back. Even when they got to the library he walked past several bookshelves to make sure of it, his friend had then asked if he was alright.
He gave him a short reply and left him behind, rather be alone in the corner of the library. Better he start forgetting about Junon, than go mad not knowing where he could be.
Picking a random book from the shelf and began reading aimlessly, the turn of pages of the old book scraped against his thumb as the words he read made no sense to him. Made no sense how the older boy was not in sight and suddenly he was leaning against a shelf looking down at Shunto.
His still curls that covered part of his eyes were looking with curiosity. Junon with his dark blue blazer and arms crossed showed how unbothered he looked. "You're in my space." Shunto said, a blank look on his face.
"Am I." Junon responded, he quirked his head from such words.
"Why do you look at me like that?" Junon asked.
"Like what." Shunto replied, leaving his book open and kept eye contact, not once looking away.
"You know, like you want something from me." Junon said, showing a bit of teeth, and Shunto thought how nicely it fit him, charming from a boy with such height. Junon towered over a majority of other students and that made him more appealing.
Especially in Shunto's sphere, in his own isolation.
He shakes his head, waits.
Junon let out a light laugh, "You hiding from something, someone?" He continues, wanting Shunto to answer, say anything. "Can I hide here with you?" He asked.
"I don't care." Shunto says, but he does. So much that the words aren't coming out right, that his hands began to sweat in the middle of that.
"Ah." Is all Junon says and decides to sit on the library carpet as well.
They sit there for a few minutes, taking in each other's presence. Until Shunto hears his friend call for him, that they need to go.
Shunto looks over at Junon, gets up from the floor and puts the book back before he leaves. "Later." One word for, they will see each other again.
Junon is looking up this time and gives him that sweet smile for, of course they will cross paths. The school might be big, the halls never-ending but the sky is big and there will be another day.
Later that night when Shunto is at his desk studying for a class, the warm fluorescent light making him sleepy. He thinks about how Junon's lips would feel on his, if his hands would come up and cradle his face, and if his sweetness would seep into his own body.
He sleeps with the knowledge that this boy won't leave his head, is consumed in some way.
Some days later he chose to take a walk by himself, clear his head. There were other students doing their own thing, some rehearsal going on. And from the corner of his eyes he saw Junon and a few of his friends passing a soccer ball, the aims were accurate.
His kicks were perfect, his posture, the way his face brightened up from such things. He had one hand inside his pant's pocket and the other out for balance, there were shouts from the others. Junon looked much younger at that moment and Shunto thought about how Junon would think of him.
If Junon even thought of him.
He walked away not long after, but not without Junon feeling some kind of presence. That the older boy felt someone was watching him, turning his head to see if he could find that someone.
The next day, late into lunch, Junon caught the young boy entering the cafeteria. He took a few steps in and looked over the menu for what they were serving that day, but most of it was gone by now. Junon got up and let his friends know he'd see them in class later and left, making his way towards Shunto.
"Nothing good, huh?" Junon started, the boy turned and faced him, confused.
But then his eyes widened a little, mouth opening to say something but before he could. "Here." Junon said, sticking his hand out with a wrapped omusubi in it. "It's salmon, take it." He continued and with his other hand he grabbed Shunto's smaller hand and lifted it to place the rice ball in his palm.
"I'll see you." Junon said and left as quickly as he came, leaving Shunto frozen in place making the tips of his ear bright red from the sudden interaction.
Weeks later when the stars weren't aligned for them, came another seeking. Junon was waiting for a moment for them to pass each other, but all he got was a glimpse. The sounds of loud sneakers coming up the old school stairs, there were several. A commotion of younger students making their way upstairs, and Shunto was among them.
A bit obnoxious, though Shunto wasn't one of them, from Junon's view where he stood with some classmates, Shunto was following behind only letting out an airy laugh. He had a shoelace untied and his dress shirt pulled out, he looked innocent and free.
An angel among fakes, that Junon couldn't take his eyes off for a second.
A couple of classes later one of his friends asked him about Shunto. "Do you know him?" The friend asked.
"Who?" Junon replied.
"That student, I heard the other day you were talking to him." He continued. "Isn't he in first year?"
Junon turned his face away, thinking. "Yeah, just someone." Is all he said and that was when the bell rang and he turned to take out his textbook to get ready for next class.
Right, Shunto was into his first year of high school, three years younger than him. He knew of that, the young boy still had some years until he'd graduate and Junon himself had this year to finish with good grades and take his exams and see where he would end up after high school. If he would be lucky enough to find a decent job and go off to live in those cramped apartments in the center of Tokyo.
Yet all he thought about was the boy.
How his smile was far and few in-between, but when he shrugged his shoulders it made Junon want to wrap him in his arms and forget everything around them.
They had unintentionally met at the top of the school building one day. Students weren't allowed up there, where the big fans ran and teachers and staff hung up towels and clothes to air dry throughout the day. But students would still go up there to hide from friends and teachers, there were stairs that took them up to the vast concrete floor.
Shunto was there first, he was looking out to the grassy field. Some grouped trees, buildings and father out bigger buildings with a shiny horizon.
He rarely wore his blazer, always holding it in his hand. This time he had left it on the ground next to him. When Junon had opened the door to the top floor to get a breath of fresh air when his friends became annoying and he wanted quietness, he found Shunto in all of this.
His hair was flowing in the light breeze of the afternoon day.
Shunto's back was facing him, his steps were quiet. Didn't want Shunto to know he was right behind him, not until he made his way around and put space between them, when he rested his arms on the ledge of the building. "What are you doing up here?" Junon asked, that came out of nowhere.
Shunto had felt it when his back brought up goosebumps and someone's figure appeared on his left side. He turned his head slightly, eyes becoming unsure.
He still felt nervous around the older boy, but he drew him in so fast without warning. Junon's hair was messier than usual, giving him a softer look which was easier on the eyes, not so easy on Shunto's heart.
"Taking a break." Shunto responded. "From everything."
"Same." Junon said, waiting a few seconds and then started again.
"You're not from here." It wasn't a question, Junon had noticed that the young boy had looked away.
It took Shunto some time to respond, "No, I'm not."
"Do you live close by?" Junon asked, he could tell how reserved Shunto was.
Shunto nods his head, letting out a sigh. The older boy wanted to melt Shunto's worries away, his sadness that kept him quiet.
He spoke a lot softer, "You want to walk home together, after school?" Junon was giving him a way in. And Shunto takes it, looks his way and raises his eyebrows.
"I have to take the bus, but I can walk you home.”
“if that's okay." Junon continued.
"Okay." Shunto says, and nothing else. Which made Junon pleased, he kept his distance and told him where they would meet at the end of the day and left not long after. Shunto ended up skipping his next class, making the excuse that he wasn't feeling good just to stay longer and look at the tree's waving at him in the fair breeze.
The young boy had shoved his blazer in his backpack and took down the stairs to meet up with Junon. He didn't have to wait long, Junon was standing exactly where he said he would be earlier that day. He had one strap of his backpack slung over a shoulder, sneakers dusty from the ground and a calm expression on his face. But when he saw Shunto, he gave him a smile of content that had the boy walk faster towards him.
They didn't say a word, there was no need.
Junon knew it was better for him to let Shunto start a conversation, if he so chooses.
"Do you know where you're going after you graduate?" Shunto finally speaks, halfway through the walk home.
"No, no idea." Junon says. "Do you?" he asks.
Shunto gives him a shy smile and shakes his head.
"Yeah, you still have time." Junon looks ahead and then back at Shunto, they're only a foot apart. He could reach out and hold the younger boy's hand but he keeps his hand at his side.
There's not much talking after that, it's not long after when they get to Shunto's home. Right behind big concrete walls and utility poles and many more homes surrounding his. "It's Junon." he says.
"Huh?" Shunto says, oh right. "Shunto." He tells Junon.
"Uh thanks, for walking home with me." Shunto looks down to the ground then up to take one last look and turns around to go inside.
Junon daydreams all the way home, and long after when he's having dinner and doing homework and until he falls asleep.
They start a routine, when Junon isn't busy with after school sports or studying for exams he walks Shunto home and then takes a later bus home. Shares his green tea with Shunto on the way there and sometimes if Shunto has the courage he tells him about his old home, his parents and whatever else.
Shunto had gotten a laugh or two out of the older boy, making his stomach turn upside down. Made him truly smile, after such a long day at school, it was worth all the boredom in the world.
But there are always doubts, right. Jealousy that comes up from liking someone like Junon, someone like him that could be so much more. Not being stuck with someone like him, will go off to work in those high-rise buildings in Tokyo and forget all about him.
It comes early in the school day, Shunto sneaks over to the third year halls. He's making his way down to Junon's classroom at the very end, he doesn't get far when he sees it.
There's a student standing too close to Junon, just right outside the classroom. Her hair is shoulder length, smooth and perfectly cut straight, she has her hands nervously clasped together. The girl is bold for being so close to Junon's space and the older boy doesn't seem to bothered, it makes Shunto ill.
Watching every movement the student makes, then how Junon puts his hands in his pockets, a little too relaxed for Shunto's liking. Not long after she takes some strands of her hair and plays with them, quirky and deceiving.
Whatever she told Junon, it makes him laugh and that's enough for Shunto to turn right around and leave those halls. Try to shake off the jealousy that's spilling over and making him lose his train of thought, gets the strength to make his feet move faster and runs up the stairs to the top floor.
The school day drags, and no amount of jokes from his friends makes him laugh. Just the images of Junon, how he thought there would be a chance for them.
Just them only and no one else.
He sees Junon waiting for him by the gates, as usual and Shunto wants nothing to do with him. Not now, not tomorrow, not for a long time. It's an exaggeration on his part, he could easily ask Junon who that was but he rather wallow in self pity and let the anger eat at him, how he's always dealt with stuff before.
Shunto walks right past the older boy, not a single look his way.
Junon turns and sees Shunto making his way out, confused, worried. Very worried, the boy hadn't done anything like this, wondering if he had an argument with a friend or just a bad day. Junon would know though, because Shunto tells him even if it's just a few words but he can always get something out of him.
And right now he needs to talk to Shunto, and doesn't want to leave him like this. So he follows right behind, until he reaches to take Shunto's arm and pulls him back but so quickly the boy snaps and yanks his arm away from him. "Leave me alone." Shunto's words are cold, angry.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Junon asks, he keeps walking right behind him. Shunto ignores him and makes a turn down a street, focusing his eyes on the pavement,
"Come on, Shunto." Junon pleads, so comfortable with the younger boy that he feels they're equal. "Did something happen?" He asks, going through his head what could have possibly upset the boy.
"Did I do something?" He wants an answer from Shunto, "Whatever it was, you can tell me." Junon continues.
Shunto continues to ignore him, wants to be left alone.
Junon tries again and goes to grab Shunto's hand this time, he succeeds but not without some tension, he squeezes the boy's hand to let him know it's okay. "I told you to leave me alone." Shunto's voice is sharp in his ears, there's hurt.
Shunto attempts to pull his hand out of Junon's, but he has a firm grip and he too doesn't want to let go, truly.
"I'm not leaving you." Like a confession to the young boy, Junon can see there's hesitation from Shunto.
"You will.. you'll get a job far away.. be too busy to call or text." Shunto pauses, "You'll forget all about this, meet other people." It's right there, he wants to express his feelings to Junon but his anxiety is stopping him.
"I won't forget you, if that's what you think." Junon says, his hand is so warm and strong.
Shunto's eyes are looking everywhere but at Junon, "Hey, look at me." Junon's voice is gentle and it makes Shunto comply even if his heart is hammering so hard in his chest.
"I don't know what this is about, but.." Junon has the chance to say it now. "I like you, like a lot.."
"I don't kn-know if you care.. or..." He's stammering, thinking he might mess this up.
But Shunto's eyes begin to shimmer in the evening day, lips almost frowning because he feels heat rising from his belly, up his chest and dusting his cheeks. Staring back with such intensity, Junon's expression changes to worry but before it could get any worse, Shunto in his foolishness moves forward and gets on his tiptoes.
At the corner of Junon's lips he presses a kiss onto his skin, so slow and calm.
He moves back enough that if he wanted too he could kiss Junon again. "I like you too." Shunto mutters, holding onto Junon's hand just as firmly.
It was there and then gone so quickly, Junon wanted that softness only Shunto could give him. With his quiet and boyish demeanors, the way Shunto's eyes only shines for him and his true confession of his wants for him.
Junon wouldn't trade it for anything.
Giving him that smile that Shunto always adored, "Let's go home." Junon says and Shunto nods, getting comfortable in Junon's hold.