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After everyone’s “news” it had been hard to prioritize who to mom, because it all seemed to be an emergency. Well Anna-Kat is fine. That can be put off for 15 years. But between her two major problem children and preparing for a new baby, there’s no telling which ball she can drop.
Oliver can’t help but rub it in her face by being the most relaxed she’s seen him in a decade. While he’s still not sure about college, she and Greg sat him down and made it clear he’s finishing high school at the very least, and Greg even went as far as saying he’d pay for Oliver to retake his SATs as many times as he likes.
But Oliver, suddenly without the point of motivation that had driven him for years, now bounced wildly between lackadaisical senioritis and existential ennui, creating mood swings Katie hoped she’d never see again after Taylor calmed down. What drives her even more crazy is that when Oliver is barely trying, his grades only dropped from 99s to 92s. Of course, that difference means something to Oliver, but Katie can’t help but want to tear her hair out knowing all his meltdowns and extra hours of cramming she had to deal with were ever only worth seven points.
Right now, he’s carelessly flipping through a textbook at the kitchen counter, his head lying on his outstretched arm so he’s reading practically sideways, as both of them wait to taste test Cooper’s new pancake recipe.
Now that’s a test she can get behind.
Cooper’s made a bit of a mess, taking the kitchen as if it were his own, but Katie’s willing to let it slide as long as he cleans up after himself – if the pancakes are good, and he can make breakfast for the whole family tomorrow. “No problem, Mom,” Cooper had said with a self-assured smile to the stipulations, and Katie didn’t even correct him.
“You know,” Oliver suddenly speaks up, apropos of nothing, “It’s Cooper’s fault you’ll never get that cruise.”
Cooper snorts but doesn’t even bother to look up from the mixing bowl. “What did I do?”
“You made me effectively straight,” Oliver says, as if this is the most casual conversation in the world. “I probably I had the capacity to be bi, but every other guy looks like fresh shit next to you. And since we’ve been inseparable since I was old enough to date anyone, there was never a chance to get away from the comparison.”
Katie’s eyes widen and her mouth drops. Is Oliver really coming out now? Right now? Right now, right now? Does she get a camera? Does she get it in writing?
“Fair enough. I am adorable.” And Cooper is so unphased they may as well have had this conversation five times before.
“Ew,” Oliver cringes. “You are not adorable.”
“What?” Of all things, that’s the point that shocks Cooper enough to stop strategically folding chocolate chips into his batter and walk over to the counter. “You blame me for your impossible standards, and then you insult me, too? Shame!”
Oliver rolls his eyes up at Cooper above him but doesn’t even expend the energy to lift his head. “I just hate that word. You’re not adorable. You’re….” Oliver’s eyes trail down Cooper’s body as he looks for the words -checking him out right in front of me, Katie thinks, and it is taking everything in her to let this play out for information’s sake instead of yelling at them both to flirt somewhere else – “Refined,” Oliver settles on. “Gorgeous.”
“Hm,” Cooper breaths out, satisfied. “Well don’t act like it’s not the same for me. You think I wouldn’t be on some Florida rooftop sucking dick right now if we’d never met? But no boy is as cute as you, so I’m for the chicas para mi vida.”
Katie went from incredulity to rage to simply being outside of her own body in seconds at Cooper Bradford talking about sucking dick in her kitchen while ignoring her sitting right next to her son.
“I am not cute,” is Oliver’s only gripe with the situation. “Don’t use that word.”
“Mhm,” Cooper smirks, “Keep saying that while you pout at me from under your lashes, so good at making your point, amigo.”
Returning to her body, Katie can’t even make it a quarter up the stairs before she shouts, “GREG!”
“—And I acknowledge that, but we’ve done this several times, and it’s always been a false alarm.” Greg fought her the whole time as she tried to pull him away from his work and to the kitchen.
“Oliver told me he’s bi!”
“He said he "may have had the capacity," and from what you said, it sounds he was telling Cooper-“
“Cooper said he thinks about sucking dick-“
“Boys their age make jokes like that. If anything, it means he sees the idea of him being gay as a joke in itself. Trust me, I remember-“
“This was different. This was flirting –“
“Those two have always acted like an old married couple. As long as they’re not having any problems, there’s no reason to get involved. Now back to my plan to get Trip to believe five year engagements are the minimum standard –“
“No this could be a very important moment of self-acceptance in our son’s life, and you are not dismissing it!”
They hear a moan in Oliver’s voice when they hit the bottom step. “So good, Coop,” he says in between shoveling bites of pancakes in his mouth. Cooper smiles proudly, both from the verbal praise and the implicit one of making something so good it reduced his bestie to an animal with no table manners. Oliver slathers on more syrup from the bottle with his right hand while sucking it off of his fingers with the left. His textbook pages are sure to stick together after this. “How did you balance the sweetness so it’s not too much with syrup even with the chocolate chips?” he asks through a mouthful.
Cooper beams at him. “Slow down. I can’t even be sure you’re tasting it.”
“Trust me, I am.”
“And to answer your question, I used cream of tartar instead of baking soda which brought out the lemon juice, and since I used buttermilk, I cut down on sugar and stuck to egg whites.”
“You’re such a genius.”
“Keep going.”
“But it would be even better if you filled them with ricotta.”
Cooper's smile falls. “Oh, “just add ricotta” he says,” he huffs, his awesome mood being taken down. “Not like that changes the entire recipe I personally got to armonía de sabores through a full week of trial and error. But I guess you wouldn’t notice these days.” His exaggerated hand gestures show Cooper wasn’t really insulted… Katie’s pretty sure.
“Ricotta. In place of what? What do you know?” Cooper furrowed his eyebrows and poked a flour-covered index finger right between Oliver’s eyes. “I’ll fill you with ricotta.”
“Ok,” says Greg, “I see what you mean.”
“See?!”