Archive of Our Own ^beta

This plan had been forming in Sirius's head for a year now. Last Valentine's Day, this wonderful idea came to his mind, and from that moment on he held it in his heart and cherished.

Sirius thought it over and refined it, looking for the best ideas to make Remus' Valentine's Day wonderful. And tomorrow was finally the day when he puts this plan into practice.

It took him a lot. Sirius planned and wrote out the best of the best scenarios, constantly changing the details and improving the way he intended to spend this special day of the year. He did his research, read books, both muggle and wizarding. He searched for inspiration, talked to others but most of all he searched in his own head for what Remus would be most happy about.

Sirius really put his mind to it, he probably devoted more attention to it than any homework ever.

Why? It's simple – Remus deserved it.

It was quite embarrassing, but it made Sirius so excited, so jittery and all giddy... even he himself was laughing at his own ridiculousness.

It's so pathetic that he cares so much, but really, doesn't Remus deserve one good holiday in his life? Sirius will make it happen – make it good. This will be the best bloody Valentine's Day anyone has ever had – Sirius decided, so it must be so. After all, he always got his way, stubborn as he was.

Sirius will do this for Remus because, seriously, doesn't Remus deserve the world? Isn't he simply the kindest and loveliest person that ever existed? Doesn't he deserve all the love in the whole world? Of course he does! Well, Remus is so convinced that he doesn't deserve love, but Sirius will prove him wrong, just you wait.

Sirius will make tomorrow's Valentine's Day unforgettable for Remus. He will be the one to make this day rooted deeply in Remus' heart forever, and he's not even exaggerating. Sirius really believes it because his plan is fucking brilliant. He can't wait to start putting this amazing plan into action, he can't wait for the morning when he checks off the first checkmark on the list titled "Woo Remus, Knock Him Off His Feet, Give Him the Best Valentine's Day of His Life" – Sirius hasn't worked out the title but the content of the plan is much better, you'll see!

It is evening and for the thousandth time Sirius reviews the sub-items of the plan which he already knows by heart. After all, he created it himself and wrote down different versions of it in his notebook more than once.

How many nights had Sirius spent lying in bed swinging his legs like a pathetically lovesick individual and writing down various words, making hearts next to every mention of Remus' name. It was like he was actually making a date plan for his boyfriend and not just a friend. But who cares? Sirius certainly didn't. He didn't give a damn, the most important thing was that it would make Remus happy, and Remus was his best friend, so fuck anyone who thinks he is doing too much, that what he does for Remus is anything more than friendly

Sirius flips through the pages of an old notebook and smiles to himself, because oh how he can't wait to see Remus smile when he shows him everything tomorrow. This will be so great. Sirius loved bringing joy to his friends, he loved doing nice things for them, he loved seeing them smile.

And Remus' smile...

Remus has such a wonderful smile. You see it's not something you get to see every day, because Remus is stubborn like that and doesn't allow himself to be happy too often or too easily but when he does.... oh when he does. When Remus allows himself to feel happiness without remorse with his smile so beautiful so wide so precious. When you get a chance to see Remus smile... not the usual one (equally beautiful and important) but the special one with his face completely immersed in deep joy... Oh, oh, how much Sirius needs then in such moments to remain unmoved so as not to fall to his knees there and then already. It never fails to make his head spin.

And tomorrow Sirius has a feeling it will be just such a day, full of Remus's sincere little smiles.

He can't wait.

Remus' smile is something that never fails to make Sirius' heart flutter, and the fact that tomorrow he would be the reason for that smile? His heart grew three times bigger at the thought.

"What's up with you?" Marlene throws herself on the couch, startling Sirius and tearing him out of his thoughts.

"Hey!" Sirius glared at her. It's not nice to sneak up on someone like that when they're thinking about such nice things. How dare she so callously interrupt his reverie about Remus' smile, huh?

"What are you planning in there?" She points to the notebook in his hands. Sirius immediately closes it so she doesn't have a chance to see even the slightest part of his surprise for Remus tomorrow. He can't risk anyone spilling the beans. He hasn't told his friends a word about his wonderful Valentine's Day plan until now, and he's not going to let Marlene ruin it. It's his business, it's his plan, it's his Valentine, it's his Moony. "Let me see," she almost pleads. Sirius will not give in, he hides the notebook deep in his pocket. "Nooooo," she whines in despair.

"Sorry, not sorry," Sirius shrugs, choosing to ignore her, which of course won't work but it's always worth a shot, right?

"You've been at it forever, it must be something important," Marlene stares at him persistently. "You're not planning on repeating what you did last year, are you? This isn't one of your pranks, is it?" She looks at him carefully, as if trying to read some kind of clue or hint from his face, but fails.

"Do you really think so little of me, Marls?" Sirius raises an eyebrow. "You're hurting me," he gripped the material of his robe tightly where his heart should be in a look of hurt and disappointment.

"Yeah, yeah, don't pull the wool over my eyes with that sweet smile of yours. Tell me what you're planning," she demands and anyone else would have already given her what she wants. Sure, Marlene can be intimidating but Sirius knows her too well.

How is he supposed to take her seriously when she won't let others pick a single flower because what if it feels lonely being torn away from its familiar environment? You have to take two or preferably three or more because what if they're friends? She's too soft, but she hides it pretty well. She is so similar to Sirius in this, maybe that's why they are such good friends.

"No, that can't be done," Sirius smacks his lips, and Marlene grumbles.

"Come on Sirius tell me!" Oh, so she really cares. Sirius probably had those stupid dreamy eyes as he sat there thinking and no girl would let that go. "Tell me and I'll- okay do you want to know who Crouch Jr. is spending Valentine's Day with?" Marlene decides with a proud smile, as if sure that she had him in the palm of her hand.

"Why should I care-" Why would he care about anything to do with Crouch? Sirius hated the kid, he was bad company for his brother, leading poor Reggie down a bad path. He was also fucking annoying, so that's just another thing. Sirius would never understand why Reg hung out with him, but sure. He couldn't forbid it, but what value Reg saw in Crouch, he had no idea. Regulus argued that Sirius and Junior were more than similar. Similar? What bullshit.

"Because it's about your little brother," Malrene says in a sing-song voice not even letting him finish the question. She knows full well that she's caught his attention. Sirius would never let any information about his younger brother slip, because no matter how much Sirius tried to reach him, Regulus ignored him and pushed him away with the argument 'I'm not a kid anymore!' but he was, wasn't he? Well, to Sirius he would always be a kid in some way, he was his baby brother after all.

Fuck Marlene and her shenanigans with her Slytherin girlfriend. Why did Dorcas have to be so close to Regulus, why did they have to be friends? Fuck her! It was Dorcas' fault that Marlene always had a bargaining chip in any confrontation with Sirius. Because yes, if this is about Regulus then he sure as hell cares. His brother was more important than anything. Sirius just couldn't understand how this situation related to Reggie. Wasn't this supposed to be about Crouch's date?

"Fine, but you first," Sirius agrees but on his own terms, Marlene looks at him, not at all impressed. "Don't look at me like that, I'm a man of my word, I promise to tell you the truth," she just snorts but has no choice but to accept what Sirius offered.

"Junior asked him for a date and what's more, baby Black agreed," she grins. Sirius gasps. This can't be true. She's lying.

"You're kidding," Sirius doesn't believe a single word she says because it doesn't make any sense. "Whatever you say, you can't convince me of that, I know my brother has standards," he huffs. Regulus would never go for someone like Crouch. Never.

Not that Regulus was gay, or rather that he was but would never dare to tell Sirius that, but well, Reggie was into boys, that was pretty obvious. Sirius had known him his whole life so it wasn't hard to guess. But for him to have a thing for Crouch Jr.? That's just ridiculous. Sirius knows his brother well enough to know his type, thank you very much. From what he knows, Reg was more into soft boys, he didn't need the scary boyfriend privileges, if anything he would be the scary one in the relationship. Besides Regulus would never go for a relationship with his friend, that's where he and Sirius differed, Sirius would. What's more! In fact, Reg once swore to him that he would never date, so- what the hell is up with this Crouch thing?

"Am I saying they're in love or something?" Marlene raises her eyebrows. Okay, interesting.

"So what are you saying?" Sirius frowns. They both ignored that this was already more than she had to give him, gossip session started. Oh how much Sirius loved his friend, how grateful he was to have her. Marlene is great, Dorcas is great too, cross out anything he said otherwise.

"Junior's plan is to make this Rosier guy jealous. That's the whole plot, everyone's in on it," Marlene explains with a shrug. Ah well, that's pretty interesting. Sirius needs to catch up on things with Reggie, definitely. He had heard from Reg for a long time that his roommates (best friends) were into each other. But fake dating to make them jealous? Regulus knew better than that, why had he agreed to this? "Your brother is such a good friend," she muses, Sirius grimaces. Sirius doesn't entirely like the fact that she's getting closer to his brother, but oh well. Sirius only hoped that Marlene wouldn't choose Regulus over him, he was her friend first after all. "Your turn," she demands, Sirius sighs heavily.

Ah yes, he agreed to this... can he lie? He really wants to keep it a secret. He promised Marlene but... she'll know when he's lying anyway, Sirius has no choice. All he can do is keep his fingers crossed that she won't tell anyone else.

"So here's the thing..." he looks away for a moment, anywhere but at Marlene. Why was it so embarrassing to talk about it? He should be proud of it. It was nice of him, a good thing to do. So why did he feel his cheeks turning red? "Well, I've been planning tomorrow for a long time," he starts slowly, he wanted to put it into words well so that she would understand it fully. Sirius already knew that no matter what he said, none of his friends would fully understand him anyway, but now he could at least try, right?

"Yes?" Marlene interrupts him, unable to resist, and Sirius snorts, she's so impatient, she can't wait. Marlene knows her friend is spending Valentine's Day with someone but nothing more and Sirius is sure she would give up a kidney to find out anything more about his love life.

"I- well, I want to make it special for Remus." Sirius smiles slightly, he doesn't quite understand what's happening with Marlene's face but her eyes suddenly go wide and her mouth open and after a second she's grinning from ear to ear. She doesn't even let him explain properly, say anything, she doesn't even wait for him to tell her what is in his notebook.

"Have you two finally-" she gasps, she doesn't add anything more, she doesn't explain what she meant. Nothing. "Say no more, get back to planning," she just encourages, it's terribly confusing. "Oh sweet Merlin what a wonderful day, girls won't believe me," and just like that she was gone.

Weird.

Sirius, however, doesn't devote much of his thoughts to this event because Remus has just returned from a Prefect's meeting and it's common knowledge that when Remus appears in Sirius's line of sight the whole world ceases to exist. And now Remus was walking towards him and all Sirius could do was stare at him with a stupid grin.

"Did you manage without me for an hour, baby?" Remus teases, raising an eyebrow in amusement. Because earlier, before he left, Sirius didn't want to let him go, he was screaming and crying dramatically, saying that everyone had left him (James had practice on the pitch, Peter had the chess club) and that he couldn't handle it on his own, that Remus had no right to be the next one to abandon him because 'friends don't do that!'

"I managed just fine, thank you very much," Sirius rolls his eyes as if irritated, but the smile tugging at his lips gave him away a little. It didn't matter, Remus always made him happy, they knew it, what's the point of hiding it?

"Good boy," Remus smirks. It was a joke and Sirius knew it, but the words caused a strange sensation in his stomach. It wasn't the first time, but Sirius was just as surprised.

The boys did that sometimes, made fun of his Animagus form and made all sorts of dog jokes. Their favorite lately was praising him, saying "good boy" for whatever he did, well Sirius didn't complain about it much. He's always been a sucker for any kind of praise, let's not kid ourselves. But well... there was something else about this too, Sirius didn't know exactly what, but he didn't look too hard for an answer. Not yet.

Peter had started this whole thing with one stupid joke and somehow it had gone on and on. Only this thing... neither Peter nor James had said it the way Remus had. Or maybe Sirius hadn't reacted to their words the way he had to Remus'. Why? He didn't know. And for now he didn't care about that either.

"Gonna give me treats for this?" Sirius blinks his beautiful long eyelashes slowly at his friend.

"I believe you deserve some kind of reward," Remus agrees, winking at him suggestively. "Come on," he holds out his hand to Sirius, who takes it immediately. He would never turn down the opportunity to hold hands with Remus.

You see, because Remus's hands were simply wonderful, so unusual. Big, strong, and although at first glance they seemed a bit rough they were the softest, especially for Sirius, because when they cupped his face they were like fluff, so gentle. Remus's hands – and not that Sirius paid much attention to them – were beautiful, they were tanned and decorated with a few scars, they were so different from Sirius's and– Sirius didn't brag, but his hand fit perfectly into Remus's.

"How did your break from idiots go?" Sirius asks, throwing himself onto Remus' bed and making himself comfortable. This was his favourite place to be.

"Quite boring," Remus always said that at the Prefects' meetings he finally had the opportunity to rebuild what remained of his intelligence that had been steadily diminishing amid the Marauders. But in reality it was known that Remus loved the silliness of his friends, he would get bored if he spent more time with all those goody two-shoes. "But at least your brother was entertaining," Remus shrugs, changing, he's never been one for school robes, taking them off whenever he gets the chance. Sirius doesn't blame him.

With the collection of sweaters he had, Sirius if he were in his shoes couldn't wait to throw one on himself too. (Just as if Sirius didn't wait every evening to sink into one of his friend's warm sweaters, the one he'd just managed to snatch from Remus' trunk earlier that day.)

"Don't tell me, Remus, that you are against me, replacing me with that brat, how dare you?" Sirius gasps loudly. He ignored the weird thing his heart did at the sight of Remus's bare skin. Sometimes he got that, seeing a bit of Remus's stomach, or his back, or his arms, or his thighs, or anything really. It must be jealousy or something.

"I like your brother," Remus shrugs, Sirius already grumbling about it. "Not as much as I like you, don't worry," he assures with an eye roll.

"Thank you," Sirius mumbles with a shy smile. Remus knows him, oh how he knows him... he knows they're joking but some things get into Sirius' head. Sirius doesn't even have to say it, it's obvious. Remus knows Sirius hates being compared to Regulus because he's heard all his life that he should be more like his brother. Regulus was their parents' favorite child and Remus wouldn't forgive himself if Sirius thought he favored his brother too, that's why he gives him this assurance, as if casually, but Sirius knows better. Remus cares for him. Sirius admired Remus for how good he was to him and... Sirius didn't even have to ask for it.

"Do you want to choose?" Remus asks walking over to the record player. What a stupid question, it was obvious that Sirius wanted to. To be fair, he didn't get these opportunities often, the boys weren't allowed to touch the record player without Remus's permission so it was always exciting.

Sometimes it happened that Sirius would get a special fare and nothing pleased him more than the opportunity to choose a song for himself and Remus. Just now he happily got out of bed to be by Remus's side as soon as possible and turn on the music, he already had the perfect song in mind. As soon as it started playing he started singing and Remus watched him and smiled and– Oh, didn't that make Sirius feel all warm inside.

When Sirius finished his little musical performance of two and a half songs, he returned to Remus' bed and laid down next to him. Sirius always wanted and liked to have him close.

"Did you have a good day?" Remus murmurs to Sirius, running his free hand through his hair, his second hand already holding a book. That nerd.

They didn't have classes tomorrow and he didn't have to learn or repeat anything, but Remus simply loved reading. Sirius actually admired it, the passion with which Remus could talk about the latest edition of a book he already had two copies of, but still. Remus read a lot, always carried a book with him, whether it was an important school book or a fun one. Sometimes Sirius would carry one in his bag especially for Remus, just in case he forgot his own.

"Did I have a good day? You were with me almost the whole time," Sirius laughs, closing his eyes, enjoying Remus's hands scratching his head, oh he loved it way too much.

"Yes, but still," Remus left Sirius's hair for a moment to turn the page, much to Sirius's displeasure.

"I had a great day Moony, thank you," Sirius assures, sighing softly. "Read to me?" He asks without opening his eyes, it wasn't a strange request.

Sirius had loved it when Remus read aloud to him for years, it wasn't even about what he reads and that Sirius learned something from it, no, he just loved listening to Remus's voice. Remus sounded beautiful while reading, so calm, so relaxed and happy and it was really nice to see him like that.

An hour or maybe two passed and Sirius noticed how Remus was yawning more and more often, how words were becoming more and more difficult for him because his eyelids were too heavy to continue reading.

"I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back," Remus left him alone before Sirius could protest.

Sirius made sure that Remus didn't lose the page they were reading, he put a bookmark, closed the book and put it aside. Right after that he went to another part of the room to his bed and changed into pajamas. He didn't like sleeping in his pajamas, and he'd probably take it off once he actually went to bed, but as for now he wasn't going to be parading around their shared room half naked, he wasn't James. Because, well, James was downright allergic to T-shirts in his free time, that was for sure. There's also the fact that Remus always got weirded out when Sirius casually walked around their room half naked, and since Sirius didn't want Moony to be weird towards him, he always made sure he was dressed properly.

When Remus came out of the bathroom, Sirius was already waiting for him on his bed again. He had one more thing to sort out. Remus was looking for some socks in his trunk - a strange guy, he slept in socks. Sirius didn't understand that but whatever.

"Still no plans for tomorrow?" Sirius asks, Remus joins him on the bed.

"Of course not," Remus scoffs. Right, in the hour they spent apart, not much could change, but there was always a chance, Sirius preferred to make sure. Well, maybe it was cruel, but Sirius was counting on no one asking Remus for a date on Valentine's Day. After all, that would ruin his whole plan.

Well Sirius knew that purely objectively Remus was hot. Have you seen this guy? He was tall, had a pretty face, even eyebrows, beautiful eyes... sure he wasn't everyone's type and there were idiots who didn't admire his scars but hey. Remus was also a great person, he was kind and funny and smart and had the best prank plans ever and always cared about others and– and Sirius was thinking about him too much again.

Sirius was surprised at how few people dated Remus Lupin, because again, have you seen him?

"Great," Sirius speaks before he thinks and immediately regrets it, it wasn't very nice of him. A supportive friend wouldn't say something like that, he shouldn't be happy.

"Can you please stop rubbing it into my face?" Remus sighs heavily, he's a little hurt and that's not what Sirius wanted, that's not what he meant.

Remus was upset about the fact that all of his friends had their significant other with whom they were spending tomorrow - Valentine's Day - while he, as usual, would be alone and any image of love around him would make him nauseous.

"Sorry Moons, I didn't think, I just-" and that little nickname heals whatever was wrong, because Remus smiles softly, he smiles at Sirius and Sirius has done nothing to deserve it but still receives it and accepts it with childlike glee. "I'm sorry. I know you don't like Valentine's Day, sorry," Sirius mumbles, restraining himself from adding, 'but that'll change tomorrow' or 'but I'm going to change that'.

They lay there talking for a while longer, Remus barely keeping his eyes open, he's already tired, and all he wanted was some peace and quiet, but then James and Peter burst into the dormitory, laughing loudly. Sirius joined them not long after, and Remus slowly drifted off to the sound of their laughter.

"Tomorrow is going to be something," Sirius smiles mischievously as he walks back to his bed. He closes the curtains only to find himself unable to fall asleep and staring at the ceiling.

You want to know where the plan to make this day special for Remus came from?

Sirius watched him closely, he loved him so of course he did, they were best friends since day one.

Okay, okay, right, James.

Sirius was friends with James since day one, let's say with Remus from day two, because that one needed some time to warm up to him. But that's not important, we're not talking about that now, what's important is that Sirius was paying attention to Remus and it dawned on him how tragically awful Valentine's Day is for him every year.

Let's start with sweet little Remus Lupin, eleven years old, who is crying because for the first time in his life on Valentine's Day he is not eating carrot cake with his mum to celebrate. It was their family tradition, started by his parents. Every year on Valentine's Day they would bake and then eat carrot cake together. Remus had loved this tradition for as long as he could remember, and now here at Hogwarts he couldn't even talk to his parents, let alone eat cake with them. He was so heartbroken, so sad.

A year later it wasn't much better, Remus was devastated, he was the only kid who didn't get a valentine. It may be a small and not very important thing but when Valentine's Day mail arrives and everyone you look at is holding a Valentine or several and you don't have any... well that's not very nice is it? Especially since your friends got more than a lot of them.

Sirius knows that in that evening, together with James and Peter, they gave him a card with wishes. Peter did his best by drawing a graphic of the four of them on the front, James thought of what to write and Sirius wrote it because his handwriting was the prettiest. Remus smiled then, tears glistening in his eyes, he thanked them because, oh, wasn't that nice?

Thirteen-year-old Remus was dumped by his girlfriend on Valentine's Day.

Sirius remembers it well. Ugh, Remus' first girlfriend. Sirius didn't like her one bit. Because of her, Remus had no time for them at all and ignored Sirius and that wasn't a nice thing. Honestly, Sirius was happy when they broke up. But it was Valentine's Day and Remus had returned from his date with her far too quickly, informing his friends that from now on he was no longer in a relationship, and had spent the entire day sulking.

Remus at fourteen ended up reciting a love poem to Lilly, oh James' face as Lilly just laughed sweetly kissing his cheek. Remus would never do that, not at breakfast, not in front of so many people, and not to his best friend, but he was somehow forced to. It was a bet and Remus couldn't give it up, they all took bets very seriously back then.

One thing is that he was so embarrassed that day that he never intended to show himself in the great hall again, but that day he also ended up in the hospital wing, because Snape hexed him several times, terribly mad that Remus dared to even look at Lilly that way.

It wasn't a good day.

Fifteen-year-old Remus was alarmed by the number of people who thought it was funny to ask him to go out with them. It was just cruel. Remus ignored every question knowing it wouldn't end well, he refused anyone who approached him with 'you're cute we should make out.' But one time he gave in, when asked to go on a date he agreed and smiled a little and then he was hit with cold reality. "Did you really think this was real? I would never go out with someone like you!"

It turned out that someone had opened a bet to see who could trick Loony Lupin into a date.

Remus hated Valentine's Day

And last year... last year Remus spent Valentine's Day in the hospital wing writhing in pain and waiting for the full moon to come.

It was a particularly awful month for him, Remus on the day before the full moon, which was supposed to be the fifteenth of February, was forcibly dragged to the hospital wing by the boys. Sirius was terribly worried, he panicked because Remus was overcome with pain, lying flat on his back with watering eyes, not sobbing because it hurt too much to do so. James helped to force Remus to go to Pomfrey for help and they spent Valentine's Day taking turns going to his hospital bed and listening to his curses as he used his last strength to chase them out.

Every Valentine's Day in Remus' life since Sirius knew him was a failure, it was sad, unpleasant, or painful, but this year it will change because this year Sirius has a plan.

This time Valentine's Day will be good for Remus, it will be his best day of the year. It will.

Sirius has a chance to make Remus happy tomorrow and nothing ever made his heart fill with such joy. He can't screw this up. He won't.

Getting up in the morning wasn't a problem, not when Sirius had spent all night waiting for the morning to come. He carefully got out of bed making as little noise as possible, part of plan number one - let Remus sleep in.

They didn't have classes today, thank Merlin for the day off.

In addition to casting a special spell on Remus' bed to prevent any unwanted, disturbing sounds from getting in, Sirius also kept James and Peter quiet at every turn as they prepared to start their day.

Sirius considered how long Remus could sleep after yesterday's long day, he never got enough sleep so Sirius prepared for it and it was even in the plan for him to sleep through breakfast. Of course Sirius made sure Remus had no plans for the morning before he turned off any possible alarms. He didn't want Remus to be angry instead of happy about the extended nap he was being offered.

As planned, Sirius showed up at the Great Hall before it even opened, he had to be sure he would be the first person to get there so he could grab Remus' favorite treats without any problems. He managed to put together a set of Remus' favorite snacks in less than five minutes and was already leaving.

Most of the students were enjoying their day off and sleeping in, so Sirius didn't see anyone in the hallways. Even the teachers weren't out on their rounds yet, because he didn't come across a single one who would find fault with him taking food from the great hall instead of eating it there.

Now Sirius kept that breakfast on a tray warm under a spell along with his friend's favorite tea, thing number two - breakfast in bed. Remus will love this.

Peter and James had already left, asking Sirius several times why he wasn't getting ready to leave yet, he just shrugged and went back to reading his book. It was a Muggle book that Remus had recommended to him and Sirius was already reading it for the third time.

He wore his latest favorite outfit, believing that on the day of love he must look exceptionally good, and like this, he just waited for Remus to wake up, watching him every now and then.

Wait, because you don't understand– watching him sleep is so calming, his face is so soft, so pretty. He doesn't frown or grimace, he looks so calm and breathes deeply and nothing bothers him and everything is fine and Sirius– he– he likes it.

Remus slowly wakes up, Sirius knows because there's a change in his body, the moment his muscles become tense again and he frowns a little and he sighs before opening his eyes.

"Good morning," Sirius says, humming happily as he scoops up the carefully wrapped present and moves to join Remus on the bed with a broad smile. It's time to get started.

"Morning," Remus grumbles, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up more.

"Okay, so Remus," Sirius stands over him and waits for their eyes to meet. He takes a deep breath, intending to deliver that whole speech he's been carefully preparing for so long but- but when Remus's sweet eyes meet his and they're so curious so kind and soft- Sirius can't find it in himself to say anything. He stands there with his mouth open, staring at Remus, examining every inch of his face carefully.

"Um?" Remus raises an eyebrow at him and Sirius snaps out of his momentary stupor; were Remus's freckles always this adorable?

"Today is a unique day, so on this special occasion," Sirius pulls a package from behind his back. "Remus John Lupin, please accept this gift as a token of the love we share," Remus looks at him in disbelief and Sirius just smiles. "For what else is today for if not to share love?" He chuckles. "As proof that you are loved. Because you are." Sirius pushes the gift into his friend's hands.

"Should I open it now or–" Remus looks at Sirius with a question, but seeing his expectant gaze and the way he nervously bit his lip in excitement, he already knew the answer.

Remus honestly hadn't expected to get a present, not from Sirius, a card from the boys perhaps, since they had continued that tradition since their second year, but a present? Sirius had truly outdone himself, and oh, Remus really didn't deserve it.

What was Sirius still doing here anyway? It was pretty late, the boys were already gone. Was he really waiting specifically for Remus to wake up? Oh that sweet soul, how could Remus not love him? And that sweet soul stares at him expectantly, looking so proud, so excited. Remus is afraid of what he will find in the package.

Gently not wanting to tear the wrapping, he unwrapped his present. A plain brown cardboard box appeared before him, he opened it hesitantly as if afraid something would jump out at him. Oh he really hoped it wasn't some kind of prank. He looked inside and among the colorful scraps of paper in the shape of hearts, there it was, his gift. A plain brown book.

Remus loved books, a book was a good choice, a good gift. He took it out gently as if afraid of damaging it. Of course Sirius wouldn't give him a regular book there had to be something special in it and Remus didn't want to ruin it. He was right, as soon as he touched it it turned out to be magical, an inscription appeared on the cover - the title of the book.

'You are so loved'

Remus rubbed his hand across the cover, trying to suppress a smile and the tears in his eyes. It's just so sweet. This is a similar combination of spells as on the Marauder's Map, the title does not disappear but the following text appears underneath it:

"Look inside if you start to question this."
"Anything for our Moony."
"We love you!"

Now Remus couldn't hold back his emotion, he looked at Sirius as if he was his whole world. Because he was, wasn't he? Sirius had put so much work, so much thought into this gift, so much effort - Remus felt like crying.

"You haven't even opened it yet," Sirius laughs as he was crushed in the hug. "Do it," he encourages.

"Thank you," Remus sniffs, and actually pulls away and reaches for the book again, opening it. He opens it to a random page, not knowing why he doesn't start from the first one, it's a habit he has with every book and then he's angry that he's spoiled some fragment, that's just how it was. But that's not important, he's opening a gift from Sirius.

The first thing that catches his eye is a picture of him and Sirius, their first year at Hogwarts. Sirius grins at the camera giving a thumbs up while Remus, who is wrapped in his arm, grimaces and rolls his eyes with his arms crossed. Remus huffs a laugh, it's quite wet considering his eyes are still full of tears. He blinks a little because he wants to see more of his gift, he wants to take as much of it as he can.

Right next to one of their first photos together there is a note, in Sirius's handwriting, beautiful cursive.

"This is where I convinced myself that you would be in my life forever, I won't let you go - that's a threat - because I love you too much Moons, since day number one."

Remus stubbornly wipes away the tears with the collar of his shirt, but they just won't stop coming. It's so lovely - how could he not be moved by that? He was just grateful that he hadn't started sobbing yet. Remus flipped through the first part of the book, on every page there was a picture, of him with one of his friends and next to them lovely little notes that they wrote especially for him.

The ones with Sirius were repeated on the pages the most often but there was also James, who drew a lot of hearts next to each of his notes. Peter, who really tried to write as nicely as possible, how on earth this guy had a talent for drawing but not for writing, don't ask. Lilly stuck dried daisies next to her notes. Remus' favorite wildflowers, Marlene and Mary- and Regulus, even Regulus left a few words, but here in place of the picture, there was no photo, there was no photo but instead the sentence 'we don't have any so I had to draw it myself' And it's actually a drawing of the two of them underneath, quite a good drawing, actually.

On the first page there is a photo of them all, all his friends from Gryffindor, this photo was taken by Minerva a long time ago, they are all smiling and waving at her cheerfully, but now as if they were greeting him. Remus has already completely broken down, he cries, he sobs, he hiccups, he cries some more. Of course he closed the book first, he didn't want to ruin it with his tears. He's still trying to control his crying and Sirius isn't helping at all with his words.

"And at the end you also have the ones from the adults, James' parents signed in and yours of course, I made Minerva agree and she also made Poppy-" Sirius explains, he didn't think it would hit Remus that hard.

Sirius actually spent a lot of time searching for photos and collecting their friends' notes and chasing everyone, pestering them to add something of their own and checking if anything they wrote was good enough. They weren't too happy about his intrusiveness, but everyone loved Remus so they agreed anyway. And the book was completed in two months, which was quite a good result considering that one of those months was spent only by Sirius himself thinking about every word, arranging and choosing the right pictures and worrying, because what if Remus doesn't like this gift? But of course he will, Remus loved everything Sirius came up with – and Sirius doesn't brag.

However, one must take into account that every gift Sirius ever gave Remus was carefully thought out. Sirius spent a lot of time on each gift, searching and searching, and each one was chosen as the best, straight from the heart, because only when Sirius was sure that the gift was perfect then he decided to give it.

Gifts in the Black household were never a big deal, so Sirius, in spite of his family, treats each one with great seriousness. What were the gifts like in the Black household? Family heirlooms, vases, paintings, meaningless objects that Sirius had to pretend to like so he wouldn't be punished. Sirius didn't agree with that, gifts were supposed to bring happiness, they were supposed to be thought out to fit the person receiving them. Regulus was the first one Sirius had practiced the art of giving good gifts on, and now... now he was getting pretty good at it.

Sirius cared, and wasn't it worth it? Remus's reaction made him feel all warm inside. His Moony was happy, and that was what Sirius cared about the most in the whole world.

"You did all this for me?" Remus's voice is heavy with tears but there is a smile on his lips and oh that smile is so precious, Sirius melts.

It was worth it. It was damn worth it.

"Of course," Sirius nods. He gives Remus a moment to regain his composure and wipe away his tears before handing him a tray of breakfast. "And that's not all for today," he smiles slyly. He will truly make today a great day.

"What? Sirius?" Remus looks at him, confused. "You said you were spending the day with someone," he blinks at him slowly. Sirius awkwardly rubbed his neck.

Well yes, it's a little lie, a little intrigue hatched by Sirius, he made his friends believe that he had plans for Valentine's Day, that he had these plans with someone, but he didn't tell them that that this "someone" was supposed to be Remus from the very beginning.

Sirius didn't want anyone to ask, he didn't want to explain, he didn't want them to look at him strangely, they wouldn't understand why he wanted to spend this day with Remus, they wouldn't understand that he only cared about his friend's happiness. They wouldn't. That's why he hasn't told any of his friends about his plan (well, apart from Marlene yesterday). They wouldn't understand, they would question him, and no matter what Sirius said they would criticize him, they always criticized his plans, the ones involving Remus. Sirius wanted to avoid that, he didn't want to take any risks, he had to be sure that this day would be happy for the two of them. One great Valentine's Day, was that too much to ask?

"I'm spending it with someone," Sirius nods, "with you," he pointed at Remus with his finger, grinning broadly. "Eat your breakfast, if we want to get everything done today–"

"Sirius, you can't–" Remus tries to protest, but Sirius silences him by shoving a strawberry into his mouth.

"Shhh, it's going to be a great day, you'll see," he smiles brightly, his eyes twinkling with joy.

How could Remus refuse him? He wasn't strong enough to not fall under the spell of Sirius' sweet puppy eyes. He was just a man, okay?

Sirius wants to spend the day with him? Really? Where's the catch in that? Is this even really happening? Is Remus still dreaming? Why would Sirius want that? Why would he want to spend the day with him instead of going on a date with someone he actually likes? Maybe– maybe it would be best if he didn't focus on that for now. So he focused on something else — Sirius brought him breakfast in bed. It's a lovely gesture considering that Remus slept through breakfast.

"You seriously made me heart-shaped toast?" Remus raises an eyebrow, Sirius shrugs with a grin. Maybe it was the elves in the kitchen who prepared today's meals this way to celebrate Valentine's Day, or maybe it was Sirius who did it himself, Remus didn't know which option was better. "Take a half," he holds out the toast to share. He didn't expect Sirius to just bite off a piece, so he looked at him with a frown but only got another smile in response. It's not like they haven't shared saliva before, right? There is no need to think about it too much.

A moment later they are sitting on the floor drinking tea and listening to Remus' favorite songs. Sirius thought it all over. He knew his friend and was well aware of how much Remus appreciated moments of peace and quiet. And that, that was calming. Sirius didn't want to overstimulate him, did he? He had to let Remus recharge, they had a long day ahead of them after all.

As the album comes to an end, Sirius helps Remus to his feet.

"I'm taking you for a walk," he informs with a smile. Remus frowns, there was something strange in his gaze, as if uncertainty or hesitation. "Uh, only if you want, because if your hip hurts too much or, or something we can change-" Sirius is starting a backup plan because he has more than one.

Sure, it was still a long way until the full moon, but it wasn't just the period around the full moon that was hard for Remus, and Sirius could understand that. Sometimes even the simplest things were hard, and Sirius knew that.

"No Sirius, it's okay, let's go for a walk," Remus agrees which was good because Sirius would have been a little sad if this next main attraction hadn't worked out. "Just let me change," and with that he disappears into the bathroom for quite some time. Sirius doesn't complain. He's happy, this is supposed to be a good day for Remus and so far it seems like it is.

The plan is working.

Remus stands in the bathroom, looking in the mirror and screaming internally. This day will be a tragedy – he already knows it. It's gonna be awful. When the walk with Sirius turned out to be a trip to the forbidden forest, he was already convinced of this.

Sirius led them for quite a while, they walked deep into the forest until the snow began to disappear from under their feet and spring flowers began to appear along the path, Remus gasped in amazement.

"Pretty cool, huh? Seasons don't apply to the entire forest," Sirius explains as if Remus hadn't noticed yet.

It was truly amazing, the forbidden forest held so many secrets. It was so much fun to explore them with Sirius. It's also nice that the weather has changed because Remis' hands were already starting to freeze. It was quite frosty but the sun was shining and the weather was relatively good but still, try being a werewolf with heightened senses and joints aching from the weather change.

They stopped at a small clearing by a stream near a little waterfall. It's a beautiful place. There is a blanket spread out on the grass and Sirius sits down on it without a thought and pulls Remus along with him. He must have prepared it earlier, it's so– Sirius is so inventive, so lovely.

"I've prepared a little picnic," Sirius informs. "If you get cold let me know. I've learned a few spells to keep you warm," he dug into his pocket and pulled out something small. He used his wand to enlarge the thing, it was a picnic basket. Sirius really thought of everything, took care of every little thing, he was truly wonderful.

"Thank you," Remus smiles at Sirius, but those words can't even half express the gratitude he feels for him. Sirius really has made it his goal to make Valentine's Day a good one for Remus, and even though it hurts... Sirius means well and oh,oh.

"I have something for you," Sirius hands him another box, this time wrapped not with paper but with a ribbon.

"Sirius, you already gave me a gift," Remus purses his lips. It's really too much, Sirius is doing too much – it hurts, it hurts because it's like he loves him – and it's obvious he doesn't.

"Well, that was your main gift, I have a few side ones too," Sirius shrugs in explanation.

"No, Sirius, that's not fair, I– I have nothing for you," Remus looks down at his hands. It's really not fair that Sirius tries so hard, that he gives him so much. Remus doesn't even deserve this.

"Believe me, your presence is gift enough for me," Sirius lifts Remus' head up gently, his hands burning Remus's skin, his cheeks flushing immediately, he blames it on the cold.

They eat Remus's favorite chocolate, pick flowers and paint rocks, laugh and talk, and it's so beautiful, so wonderful. They have so much fun together, they work so well together. And wouldn't they make a great couple? They're already perfect for each other. They're definitely– no, stop. They're just friends, end of story.

"I also have cake," Sirius pulls it out of the basket. Remus blinks at him in disbelief, and Sirius just sticks one of forks out towards him.

No, he didn't do it, he didn't–

"You're giving me– carrot cake? On Valentine's Day?" Remus asks, even though the proof is right in front of him, laughing in his face.

"Yeah, you know I remembered that story about your parents and I thought it would be nice," Sirius probably doesn't even realize what he's doing to Remus right now.

Because the story goes like this: the carrot cake was the very first one Lyall ever baked for Hope in his life, this was when they were just starting out, they weren't even in a relationship yet, but his dad tried really hard to win Hope's heart.

This cake, since his dad was a wizard and didn't often have to cook or bake, came out... not very well, it was almost inedible. Hope, making fun of him just because she could, made it for them on Valentine's Day. The next year they baked the cake together, it was kind of an expression of their love for each other, so they continued to do it, baking the cake the next year and the next and the next after that too, and they were probably doing it again today. Remus was sure that tradition continued.

Now... now it was Valentine's Day and Sirius was giving him carrot cake. Was he kidding?

"But–" But Sirius knows how big of a deal this is for Remus. Sirius should know that this is like a declaration of love to Remus, and oh, doesn't Remus feel like he's following in his parents' footsteps now? Doesn't he feel the love he has in his heart and that it's reciprocated? It's cruel, Sirius should–

"I didn't make it myself," Sirius interrupts whatever Remus was about to say. "Thanks go to the elves," he chuckles. "You know I had to have certainty that it would be good. Next year I'll ask Effie to help me and when I learn and I'm perfect at it, then I'll make it for us myself, but for now let's pretend that this one is just as special," Sirius is making plans and smiling so genuinely and his eyes are starry like they always are when he's excited or determined and oh, what is Remus going to tell him?

"Next year?" He chokes out, digging his teeth into his lower lip and his fork into a piece of cake. This all seems so unreal, Remus' heart clenches, stupid tears threatening to spill out again.

"Sure, Moons, you don't think you'll get rid of me after we graduate, huh?" Sirius laughs a little and hugs him, and Remus wants to cry. "You'll get sick of it I'm telling you, I'll improve it every year– but you know I have to learn how first but whatever," he's lost in thought and Remus just looks at him.

It's not fair how many times Sirius has brought him to tears today.

"Every year?" He asks, a stupid hope smoldering in his heart as a small uncertain smile plays on his lips. He can handle it, if he can have a cake (love) from Sirius once a year, every year that lies ahead of them then... he can handle it, he can live like this, he can do this, that's enough.

"Yeah, every year from now on," Sirius promises, linking their little fingers together. "Pinky promise. Is that how it went?" He frowns in an adorable way, always so proud of himself when he knows some muggle thing to brag about, he's sweet like that. "Your muggle version of unbreakable vow, yeah?" He makes sure and Remus can only nod his head, he doesn't believe it. No, Sirius didn't just start that tradition with him today, he didn't.

I love you! I love you! I love you! Remus wants to scream, but it's not right for him, and he can't because he would get an answer that would break his heart.

Sirius will laugh and say that he loves him too, but he won't mean the same thing as Remus, and that's probably worse, and it hurts, so Remus doesn't even try. Instead, he pushes his stupid thoughts and feelings somewhere deep in the bottom of his heart and mind like any other day. He won't let them explode, he won't let them destroy this beautiful day, he just won't.

They spend some more time at the picnic, rolling around in the grass, attacking each other in a tickle fight. They're having a lot of fun, they really are. But of course Remus has to ruin it, this idyll ends quickly because suddenly Sirius is under him and their lips are so close and all Remus needs to do is lean in just a little and–

He won't do it, he won't–

Sirius's lips are so pretty, so kissable, so– Remus looks at them for way too long.

Sirius is breathing heavily under him, his eyes are big, curious, waiting for the next step, if Remus didn't know him better he would think that maybe he wants it too but Remus has as much self-control and respect for himself and Sirius above all, that he pulls away from him, ignoring Sirius's dissatisfied groan.

"We should get back to the castle," Remus coughs awkwardly, trying to get out of this situation. What in Merlin's name did he just do?

"Are you cold? Uncomfortable? I can–" Sirius asks naively, as if he hadn't noticed anything strange had happened between them.

"Sirius, let's go back," Remus repeats and stands up. Sirius follows, because he always does.

"Alright," Sirius looks at him as if searching for a reason why. He frowns, looking down, wondering what he's done wrong, and Remus really wants to comfort him, but...

It wasn't fair for Sirius to treat him like they were on a date in the first place. It wasn't fair to do all this on Valentine's Day. It wasn't fair. Even if Sirius didn't know how much Remus loved him and didn't understand that what he was doing hurt more than anything else, it still... wasn't fair. He shouldn't have given him that false hope, that joy.

Remus knows full well that Sirius doesn't love him and never will – not in the way Remus wants him to.

On the way to the castle, Sirius tries to talk to him, but Remus is too lost in his own self-loathing to even listen. When they enter their dormitory, Peter is inside, but James is nowhere to be seen. Sirius had lost some of his fire, and Remus felt awfully guilty about it, it was his fault after all. His stupid feelings.

Why did his life hate him so much? Seriously, being a werewolf since the age of four wasn't enough of a blow, he had to deal with being in love with his best friend too.

Sirius disappears into the bathroom for a second, telling Remus to wait because he wants to continue today's plan, but as soon as Sirius disappears behind the door, Remus grabs the map, hiding it and leaving the room as quickly as possible. He doesn't even listen to what Peter is saying to him, what he's asking.

He has to get out of here as soon as possible, he has to get rid of everything that is weighing him down, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts and it's terrible. It's scary. It's terrifying because today he almost gave vent to his emotions, he almost exposed them, he almost kissed his best friend for fuck's sake!

It's not okay, it's not.

"Hey, Pete, where did Moony go?" Sirius looks around the room, confused. Where did he go? Sirius told him to wait, didn't he?

"I don't know, he didn't say," Peter shrugs. He is busy picking dead leaves off one of his plants, and barely glances at Sirius as he speaks to him. "What happened between you two?" He asks, yawning, still focusing on his task and examining the remaining leaves.

Sirius didn't answer, instead he started looking for a map to see where the hell Remus had disappeared to, he was supposed to wait for him. They were only halfway through the plan- it wasn't even about the plan anymore, this day was already so good it could continue being great and wonderful and Sirius really wanted Remus to smile again.

Then at the picnic he must have done something wrong because Remus's behavior suddenly changed. He was no longer satisfied or happy, but what could have caused this? He had suddenly just become so distant, so cold. Sirius didn't like it, but maybe if he just tried, he could fix it...

"I think he doesn't want to be found," Peter stops him, Sirius doesn't listen to him, he doesn't care, he has to find Remus, apologize, do anything, if he did something wrong he'll fix it, just let Remus tell him what happened and Sirius can be good again. Just give him a chance.

"Seriously, mate," Peter grabs his wrist. Where did he come from so suddenly? Sirius didn't even notice that he had moved. Too bad, he didn't pay attention to Pete simply yanking his wrist out of his friend's grip. Peter doesn't hold it tightly, he wouldn't do that to him, after all, he didn't want to hurt Sirius, just stop him. But it didn't work, Sirius is still determined to find the map. "Give it a rest, give him a moment," Peter forces Sirius to look into his eyes and Sirius does, he looks at Peter and notices the worry flashing in his friend's eyes, it's not something Sirius wanted... Seriously, who else's mood is he going to ruin today? What the hell is wrong with him?

"What? Pete, did I do something wrong?" Sirius blinks, his face falling into sadness. All determination disappeared and was replaced by regret. Remus didn't want to see him? Had he really done something so terrible? But what? "Did Remus say something?" He asks naively, because maybe Pete knows something, maybe he knows more than he does. Maybe.

"No, he didn't say anything but- Sirius, what happened?" Peter asks worriedly. Sirius hates it. He knows Pete and James hate it when he ruins things between himself and Remus, he knows they hate it when he brings Remus down, but he didn't do it on purpose! He doesn't even know what he really did.

Peter is worried about his friends.

Sirius and Remus are nothing but trouble, really. For years - well, exactly, for years these two have been drawn to each other, they are head over heels in love, sending each other loving glances more often than not but do they do anything about it? Of course they bloody well don't. Merlin help and give him patience. Peter is really fed up with it, he endured the first years calmly, after all they were still just kids and their love wasn't as intrusive as it is now.

Peter was the first to notice, James followed close behind and by their fifth year they were playing matchmaker for these two because they were clearly too blind to notice their feelings. They didn't achieve anything, but last year Remus started talking to them about his crush, although he cried, whined and sulked that Sirius would never ever love him and that he would die alone, forced to love his best friend forever. He wasn't going to listen how wrong he was, he ignored every word from them that Sirius might be interested in him too.

"Guys, come on, he's straight!" Remus argued. Were they looking at the same person? Show Peter where and when Sirius was interested in a girl, better yet, interested in anyone other than Remus. You can't, because it never happened.

Those two morons were so stupid and unaware that it was starting to get tiring. At least Remus accepted his feelings, but Sirius? Sirius still wasn't mature enough to admit the truth

Pete is worried because, first of all, the two awkwardly and silently entered the dormitory, which generally doesn't happen often because these two love each other and each other's company. So that's the first thing that was wrong. Then Remus, as if burned left in a hurry, he was quite nervous and Remus wasn't like that, and now Sirius was panicked and sad and this, unfortunately, could not herald anything good.

Considering everything that had been going on between these two for years and the fact that today was Valentine's Day- well Peter didn't know what to think. He knew that much - Remus would be fine, he just needed a moment to himself, but Sirius? Sirius stood there looking like a puppy who had had a door slammed in his face on a rainy day.

Peter then took it upon himself to comfort Sirius, he invited him to his bed where they sat opposite each other and waited patiently for Sirius to start talking, because the fact that he wanted to talk was obvious, he just had to break through. Peter was a good listener and Sirius needed someone to listen to him, Peter would be there for him because it was important, because they were friends, because Sirius was sad and heartbroken (which he probably doesn't know himself yet).

Eventually Sirius told Peter everything that had happened, he told him everything about his plan and everything else around it too, even how beautifully Remus smiled when he gave him a not very professionally painted stone. Peter just sighed.

It's not possible that Sirius doesn't know, right? He must know, at least a little, he must realize that his relationship with Remus goes beyond friendship. But he doesn't... that's what Peter feared the most. Sirius still simply doesn't know, because if he did and didn't want to admit it, he would pretend better, he wouldn't be so honest and naive in not knowing why he behaved the way he did, he wouldn't be so obvious about that love. Sirius could pretend much better, which means that he still hasn't understood the fact that he's in love with Remus.

A friendly gesture? Come on, that's laughable. But Peter won't rock Sirius' world, that could end badly. He can't just shake him and scream 'You're in love! That's the reason, that was the reason all along!' he can't do that, so he just hugs him. That will have to be enough for now.

Sirius had been told his whole life how to feel. He was controlled and forced to feel, act and behave in a certain way, he had to be correct, he had to be perfect, he had to be the way his family wanted him to be. They instilled emotions into his head that they themselves had imposed on him. He had to feel this way and not otherwise because they told him to, they always knew better than he did, and... if he opposed them he was punished. Peter couldn't be the same, he couldn't do this to his friend. Sirius had the right to have his own emotions, to come to them and understand them himself.

Peter wanted to do the right thing and not hurt anyone around him in the process. He just wanted Sirius and Remus to finally find their way to each other. He just wanted his friends to be happy, how much longer did he have to wait for that?

"Why did you do that, mate?" Peter asks, Sirius blinks confused. Why did he do it? Sure, great. He just told him why! He guessed correctly that no one would understand, he did the right thing not to let anyone in on his plan earlier. Even Peter didn't understand! It's not fair.

"Why? Remus is my best friend. I wanted him to be happy, I wanted today to be special for him." Sirius had already told him that. What was Peter's point? It's obvious. It's obvious why he did it. What didn't Pete understand? Why was he looking at him so strangely? "Do you think it was too much?" He frowns confused, maybe that's it. Maybe that's what it's all about. Maybe it was to much. Yes, Sirius had a tendency to exaggerate, maybe this time he overdid it?

"Oh, Sirius," Peter just sighs, he didn't explain anything, just looked at him sympathetically. Apparently he knew more than Sirius, but he didn't share his thoughts.

Sirius spends the rest of Valentine's Day waiting for Remus to come back, but he doesn't.

Remus realized very late that he couldn't keep this up, that he couldn't go on like this much longer. He couldn't take all that love from Sirius and do nothing about it, where was he supposed to put it?

Where was he supposed to put that love? How was he supposed to explain to his stupid heart that it wasn't real? He had managed to silence his heart every day for years, but today? Today, on Valentine's Day, when he got so much love that he had wanted for so long? He couldn't take it any longer. He endured for a long time. He endured faithfully until the afternoon, until the end of the picnic. He was selfish to take it all in with open arms. He was such a fool to take whatever Sirius offered without a thought. Why hadn't he thought of the consequences before? Why?

Remus didn't want to hurt Sirius, sure, that was a reason he could use. Despite everything he didn't want to hurt Sirius, so he didn't deny him but- this was too much. He wanted to make Sirius happy, to take with gratitude what he had prepared for him, he had to plan it for so long... he did it especially for Remus. Remus should be grateful to him, he shouldn't destroy or interrupt his plans, but this was too much. His heart wanted to explode and Remus had to find a way to quiet it and with Sirius by his side he would never do that. He had to escape. So in the end he hurt Sirius anyway. And what was it all for?

Part of him was curious about what else Sirius had planned, but more than anything he was afraid of it and preferred not to risk finding out the rest of the brilliant plan. Sirius certainly included too many overly romantic elements in it...

It was all too likely that Remus would do something stupid, something very, very stupid indeed – like declare his love or something equally terrible. So Remus spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening – until the curfew, bothering Poppy.

Remus stayed in the hospital wing helping her organize all the important and unimportant documents and putting the medicines in their place, watching Poppy at work, like when she fixed a broken nose of some younger kid. He did it often, helped her in the infirmary, that is, sometimes he was given tasks like this during detentions, sometimes he was looking for an excuse to talk to Poppy, and sometimes he wanted to repay her for taking care of him.

Remus loved her, so what was wrong with helping her out every now and then? In return, he gained a wonderful hideout with peace and quiet. It's a great arrangement. He could count on it today too, he drank tea with Poppy while talking about everything and nothing and for a while everything was fine again, no problems existed.

Remus was truly grateful to her with all his heart for every time she put him back together, healed his wounds, bandaged his injuries, healed his broken bones, comforted him... he was grateful for every time Poppy tended to him with such motherly care. She must have loved him, Remus thought, and he hoped he was right because he loved her too. Maybe that was why he shared his box of chocolates with her. Remus enjoyed sharing his chocolate with the people he loved.

Remus wasn't bored and he definitely didn't want to go back to his dormitory, however, he had the impression that no matter how much Poppy Pomfrey liked him, she didn't really want him here today. She didn't throw him out though and didn't even ask why he was there (he told her himself, unable to keep it in), but hen curfew came she politely asked him to leave and he had no choice but to obey her. That time really helped him calm down and relax, you know?

Poppy said goodbye to him, smiling at him nicely, but as soon as she closed the door behind him, she ran off in a direction Remus didn't know- wait, or rather, yes, he knew. Isn't that the shortcut to Minerva's office? It is! Oh, as soon as Sirius hears about this, he'll squeal and jump around shouting that he was right all along.

Dear sweet Sirius believes that Minerva and Poppy have been married for over twenty years, only no one knows about it and he will be the first to prove it. He tried to get all his friends involved, he convinced and assured, he made presentations on the subject, he also presented very good reasons and evidence to support his words. However, he did not have a hundred percent confirmation and no one wanted to believe him. Sirius was desperate, he even followed Minerva once, which as you could guess ended with detention. Sirius, however, argued that it was worth it, saying that he had seen a photo of them together, and Minerva promised to tell him the truth on the day they finished school.

Remus shook his head, his thoughts always land on Sirius... oh how hard his life is. And what was he supposed to do now? It was impossible for Sirius to be asleep already, and yet Remus would rather avoid a confrontation today, tomorrow... tomorrow he would be ready, today he wasn't, so he walked forward slowly, not really heading to the dormitory but somewhere, he got lost quite badly, landing in the astronomy tower.

It's not a place in the school that many students go to, it's usually empty, it's too much hassle to get to so students avoid it when possible, and Remus could use a moment to sit with himself and try to come up with an excuse for today, one that won't break Sirius's or his heart.

Remus stepped inside and the door creaked behind him. Someone was here, he quickly realized with the wand at his throat. Oh yes, a beautiful ending to this wonderful day. He had only taken one step forward when he was already attacked. No one should have been here! It wasn't just that he expected the place to be empty, it was just... it was after curfew! It was against the rules to be here now. Remus, as a good guardian of the law and Prefect, had the task of punishing this scumbag who had decided to– oh, he knew this scumbag.

"Lupin?" The young Black's voice soared. Remus raises an eyebrow, that sounded suspicious, was he hiding something? Someone? But Regulus quickly cleared his throat, returning to his normal presence. "Don't sneak up like that, I could have hexed you."

Regulus was actually a very interesting person, when Remus started spending more time with him considering the fact that they were both prefects they found that they got along quite well and besides the forced meetings they also started the ones they wanted. They often sat together in the library, talked or whatever. Regulus claimed that it was good to finally talk to someone on a level and take a break from those idiots calling themselves his friends but in reality, it was obvious at first glance that Regulus loved his friends more than life itself – in that he and Sirius were no different.

"Yeah, yeah," Remus waves his hand, he couldn't care less. He was on a mission now. Regulus very rarely showed any emotion, it was almost impossible to read anything from his face or tone of voice but now? Now Remus had something and he couldn't let it go. Regulus Black panicked? Oh this had to be something good. He searched the dark room. "What are you doing here?" He asks, finding nothing interesting or strange. What a pity.

"I'd like to ask you the same thing," Regulus replies, crossing his arms. Ah. yes, we go for the offensive, good choice, pretty obvious when it comes to Regulus. Remus is honestly surprised he hasn't been shoved out the door or cursed yet, Regulus must really like him.

"Prefect's rounds," Remus lies smoothly, Regulus just raises an eyebrow, he didn't believe him one bit, but it didn't matter. Remus guesses he has a lot less to hide than the boy in front of him.

"You're not on shift today," Regulus clicks his tongue, pointing out this obvious lie that would honestly please anyone else. Well, if that's the case, Remus won't let him go either. He'll get to the truth, it's very engaging, much more interesting than focusing on himself and his emotions, really.

"You're not either," Remus shrugs, wondering what misdeeds Regulus had gotten himself into, after all he wasn't known for breaking school rules, he was a perfectly good boy, a walking ideal who never even got detention. "So, tell me, what are you doing here Reggie?" He asks in a sweet voice, uttering the hated nickname.

Regulus hates this nickname and will curse anyone who says it without hesitation, reminding him spitefully "it's Regulus". No one has the right to call him Reggie, no one, that is, except Sirius. Regulus never corrected Sirius, maybe he knew that it was pointless because Sirius wouldn't listen anyway and would only laugh in his face chanting 'Reggie' for an hour straight just to irritate him, or maybe not at all. Remus didn't think that was it, he thought Regulus just wanted to still be Reggie sometimes, wanted to be that little brother that Sirius loved more than life itself.

Regulus had told him once that Sirius was the first to call him that so he could have the right to continue, it made sense Remus admitted. Black brothers relationship was truly extraordinary, Remus loved watching it, as an only child never having the chance to experience true brotherhood he didn't understand everything but he admired Sirius and Regulus, how they shout 'I hate you' meaning 'I love you'.

"Oh, please," Regulus glares at him, but it never works on Remus. Remus had spent too much time staring into Sirius's eyes for these nearly identical ones to be terrifying. "I already wish I had cursed you," he huffs. What a sweet kid, Remus honestly adores him.

"Mhm," Remus nods unconcerned, now focusing more on Regulus. He watches him because there's something off about him, the way he's rushing. He's so not composed, not cold. His cheeks are flushed and maybe it's from the cold but... well, what's more interesting, his shirt is half unbuttoned which he tries to cover with his robe.

Interesting, indeed.

"Go back to your place already, will you?" Regulus suggests not very politely, he really wants to be left alone, intriguing. Ah, so he's hiding someone here, good to know. Little Reggie having a school romance is unlike him, oh and if Sirius hears about it, that'll be interesting. You have no idea how protective Sirius is of his little brother despite his numerous assurances that he really doesn't care what Regulus does.

"Yes, yes I'm going," Remus assures. "But one thing Reggie," Regulus gives him his full attention ready for anything, even to bribe him. Remus doesn't care, he smirks. "Is it some new fad to walk around with your belt undone? You know I want to keep up with the trends," Remus says in a mocking tone and revel in the way Regulus blushes.

"Shut up," the boy hisses, you can see how hard he's fighting with himself not to hit him, which Remus appreciates.

"I didn't know I was interrupting something," Remus looks at him suggestively. "I'll go now, have fun baby Black," he waves heading towards the exit. He was sure he was right about Regulus's nightly tryst, he was curious who he had met here, who in Merlin's name had intrigued him? Regulus hated people. That someone must have been really special if Regulus had willingly agreed to spend Valentine's night with them.

Regulus is already breathing a sigh of relief, this situation is coming to an end, but Remus can't help himself, he looks around once more – he's too curious to let it go, he's too nosy – but finds no one else in the room, there's no one here unless they're hiding that well– No, Remus should have been able to see at least a silhouette or shadow, his vision was much sharper than other people's, he should have seen that person unless they were... invisible.

"James," Remus gasps quietly, more to himself than anyone else. It made some sense, but was it possible? He glanced at Regulus and already knew the answer. That pure terror in his eyes, Remus almost felt bad for him. But for James on the other hand...

"Lupin," Regulus warns, but somehow it doesn't seem very scary at the moment. He's cornered, his secret exposed. He doesn't like it, he's angry, sure, but there's uncertainty and fear in it and Remus almost feels sorry for him. That's why he doesn't focus on him, doesn't bother him more, now he focuses on James.

"Oh mate, you're so dead," Remus laughs speaking to the space, wherever James hid under his cloak. He approached Regulus again and ran his finger along his collarbone, which was covered in not-so-subtle marks. "So dead," he shakes his head.

Did James really have to go after Sirius's little brother? Not that Remus didn't understand that. The Black Brothers were something else, something more, a completely different level of beauty and uniqueness of character. Remus knew that first hand. But, that James- James and Regulus- It's not something he expected, or maybe it is... because the longer he thinks about it, it had to happen, sooner or later it was doomed to end like this. It makes a lot of sense that James loves Regulus, that Regulus loves James. It makes sense. They will be good together, that's for sure. Remus is happy for them, he really is.

"Don't you dare tell my brother-" Regulus continues his threats, his jaw clenched. Remus really does feel the need to comfort him. It's like when you find an abandoned kitten on the street that hisses at you and scratches and runs away whenever you get close to it, but needs you to feed it and keep it warm or it will die. So it doesn't matter that he hurts you, he's just scared. Regulus is scared but will never admit it, he is proud as is, but Remus knows, he figured him out too quickly, that's for sure (Regulus didn't like it one bit).

"Oh, Reg, I won't tell, I promise," Remus looks into Regulus's eyes, wanting him to know that he is telling the truth. "Don't even worry about it, I won't say a word," it's funny, sure, but he knows a bit of Regulus, and Sirius is someone Regulus cares about. Remus would never take away his ability to come out to his brother on his own terms.

"They're not on talking terms, anyway," suddenly it's James' voice and Remus knows he's figured it out but now he has confirmation and it doesn't seem very real yet. Besides James is still nowhere to be seen.

"You fucking idiot," Regulus reaches into the air and oh yes he pulls James's cloak off, How on earth did he see him, or rather sense his presence, in that exact place? It's a mystery. "This is all your fault," Regulus accuses rolling his eyes at James.

Ah, love.

"Merlin, Jamie," Remus can barely contain his laughter pointing at James's hair, which is a mess on a good day, but now? "You like this, don't you?" He turns to Regulus with an amused look. It must have been a very interesting time in here before he came in and interrupted them.

"He likes this more," Regulus must be right, so he proves his point. He takes a strand of James' hair and twirls it around his finger and tugs.

"Right as always," James bares his teeth in a grin, he really is smitten, good for him. Merlin bless him, he's too cute for his own good. Something happens to Regulus' face as well, it's not a smile but his eyes soften. Well, nevermind, they become sharp again when they return to Remus.

"Wait, you two don't talk?" Regulus stares at him, why is that so important? Remus has no idea.

"Yeah," James sets out to answer for him. "When I got back to the dormitory Sirius was lying there all broken, whining every step of the way, I had to listen to him mopping, even though he held back because he didn't want to spoil my mood," he explains. Remus feels bad about this. What's wrong with him? Why did he do that? He knew how Sirius would react to something like that and still did it. He left him, abandoned him without a word of explanation, hurt him, ran away as soon as the opportunity arose, what kind of friend is he? "Don't worry Remus, you probably didn't do anything wrong," James assures with a soft smile, he must have noticed the guilt written all over his face.

"Yeah," Remus looks away. He screwed up but he'll fix it, right? Tomorrow he'll fix everything, force his stupid heart to calm down and that's the end of the story, he won't hurt Sirius anymore. Sirius deserves better.

"But let me ask you," James takes a deep breath for a dramatic pause and nothing else. "What happened?" He's curious, because honestly who wouldn't be?

"Well, we almost kissed," Remus forces himself to say, well James knows a lot more worse, more embarrassing things about him than that but still... Remus was quite secretive about his feelings, he had loved Sirius for six years and only admitted it out loud to his friends a year ago.

"So what?" Regulus scoffs, oh shit, that's right, Regulus is here too. "Like people in relationships do." Remus doesn't quite understand.

"Sure, but we're not in a relationship," Remus frowns, where did he get that idea? Did James mention something to him about his crush on his brother, no, merlin that would be bad. Well Regulus probably figured it out himself a long time ago, he was observant and smart so... but a relationship? Where did this come from?

"WHAT?" Regulus' voice louder than usual and surprised, angry, offended? And then, "Fuck," uttered through clenched teeth. It was the first time Remus had heard him swear. "Really?" He asks (but already knows the answer) nervously pinching the bridge of his nose. He's thinking about something very intensely, as if the news that Remus isn't in a relationship with his brother has ruined his whole world.

"What's the matter Reg?" James frowns in confusion, apparently Regulus's behavior is strange not only to Remus.

"McKinnon said you were together," Regulus looks at Remus and resignedly explained, and then: "I think you two should leave." Oh the usual Regulus is back, cold and harsh, but Remus is somehow not happy about it, James even more so.

"What's wrong?" James frowns in confusion and reaches out to the boy but Regulus backs away.

"Don't," he hisses, James obeyed, keeping his hands to himself. "Just go," Regulus sighs, something heavy in that short sentence. "It wasn't a good idea, it was wrong, James," James. Regulus called him James, not Potter but James. Remus here and now became their greatest supporter. "Forget about today, okay?"

What the fuck just happened? Remus found his favorite ship and it fell apart right before his eyes after literally a few minutes? What the fuck?

"No, that's not okay," James's frown deepened. "We can-" James as always tries to find a solution, the golden boy that he is, but Regulus doesn't listen to him, doesn't let him finish.

"No James we can't, we can not," Regulus immediately denies him, and he must have more on his mind than James wanted to say, and it hangs heavy between them. "We can not," he speaks more gently now, as if regretting his own harshness, and honestly, Remus would never forgive himself for making James look like that.

"Explain," Remus demands. "Explain what's going on," he doesn't agree to this, doesn't give in, James looks like a kicked puppy and it's not a pretty sight. They were happy a moment ago, a second ago they were in love, what happened? What's going on? And what does Sirius' relationship with Remus have to do with it?

"Okay, James–" Regulus sighs, he's giving up too. No one can stand a sad James, that truth is confirmed again. "Don't look at me like that, it's not my fault you're an idiot." What right does Regulus have to get offended and call James names, don't ask, Remus doesn't understand either. "I understand you're an only child, but you have to know the traditions, right? You're a pureblood, you should know them." What that has to do with anything, Remus doesn't know.

"I know them! I know the traditions," James defends himself, wanting to be good in Regulus' eyes so bad but unfortunately he is not a very good liar. "I read them... once," he adds uncertainly, biting his lip. "Will you explain?" He turns to Regulus with a sweet smile, causing Reg to close his eyes, taking a deep breath and calming down. Remus guesses Regulus is sharp and needs some polishing but it's something worth doing, it's like coal, a little patience and persistence and you'll get a diamond. Sirius was the same, but maybe... maybe Sirius was just more lucky, maybe he had more hands and help with refining and polishing so it went faster.

"I guess you're not leaving?" Regulus raises an eyebrow as he looks at Remus.

"Sorry, I'm too involved in this now," Remus shrugs. It's better than the drama in the romance novels he's been reading. He wants to discover the truth, he needs it because he will never sleep peacefully again. He needs to know his friends are okay before he leaves.

"I quite literally can't date until he does," Regulus explains, but it doesn't make much sense to anyone present except him. "That's why it's such a big deal that McKinnon said you two were together. I thought me and James- but fuck it, plan fell through, thank you very much," he spread his arms in surrender. Remus' mind can't process this.

"You can't date before Sirius does? What kind of weird tradition is that?" James stares at his almost-boyfriend in surprise, he must have heard about it for the first time too.

"It exists, don't question it, you don't have siblings so you don't understand," Regulus crosses his arms. Remus knew that some pure-blood traditions were truly crazy, but this?

"Sure, alright," James gives in, preferring not to argue with Regulus. Smart guy. "But it's not like you have to follow tradition, right?" He asks hopefully, and something about the naivety with which he asks the question touches Regulus, his arms fall loosely at his sides and he opens his mouth to agree with him but ultimately doesn't.

"Imagine that," Regulus huffs. "I have to follow this one, I would rather not find out what kind of protective spell dear mother put on it," he smiles forcibly. Remus realizes once again how much he hates the Black family elders, Walburga Black wanted to control every aspect of her children's lives, huh?

"I'll wait," James promises fervently. "If that's all it takes, I'll wait," he repeats, and something flickers in his eyes, something Remus has never seen before. Oh this guy is doomed already. Merlin bless him once again.

"Oh, James," Regulus looks down. Too scared, perhaps? He must feel terrible about all this, it's not something that should be put on a sixteen year old, it's just not fair.

"Why does such a stupid tradition even exist?" Remus can't help but ask. There is no reasonable explanation for this. It's just plain stupid. But it's also stupid and nonsensical to require a pure-blooded couple to eat a unicorn hair for good luck. So fuck traditions, seriously.

"In principle it's about the heir's children being the next heirs to maintain the purity of the blood and the order of the family." This is a rule that was drilled into his head when he was a child, and it's really weird and unfair. Little Reggie being told once again that he's not as important as his brother? Remus could cry.

"That's–" James can't find the words, he just blinks, completely confused.

"But in practice it makes no sense because Sirius would have to wait with sex until marriage when I can, like, whenever," Regulus explains, even he disagrees with pureblood traditions, which, well, is only fair.

"I can't believe the wizarding world came up with something so stupid," Remus snorts, this is idiotic. Seriously, who came up with that? Who thought it up, wrote it down, and approved it as a good idea? Aren't wizards supposed to be smart?

"So," Regulus claps his hands, drawing attention to himself. "Have we had our say? Can we just end this already?" He doesn't wait for an answer to any of his questions. "It's late, goodnight boys," he waves them off. He's probably overwhelmed by everything that just happened, so Remus doesn't even stop him. That certainly must be a lot to take.

"But Reg–" James protests, he doesn't want to part yet and is sulking.

"Tomorrow, same as always, James," Regulus looks at him, giving him a small soft smile, to which James let out a small cry of joy. Remus smiles, these two deserve their happily ever after.

"Will you escort me to our dorm, mate?" James looks at Remus, grinning at him. This guy really doesn't give a damn about anything. Maybe he had already forgotten that he had an invisibility cloak with him, which made him invisible quite easily and he could easily return alone without being noticed, or maybe he wanted to blabber on about everything to Remus. You never know with James.

"Oh and Remus," Regulus's voice rings out once more, he was already reaching for the door handle to leave but turned to them with a smirk. "Sirius doesn't have to wait until marriage to bang someone, just so you know," he simply winks at him and leaves. This bastard couldn't let it go, he had to have the last word, of course he did. Oh Remus adored him, Remus hated him.

"Did he just-" Remus blinks slowly. He didn't hear that right, did he? "James did I just get permission from Sirius' brother to deflower him?" Does that mean– does Regulus think they could– does Remus have a chance– no, stop. Stop it.

Stop!

"Well," James grins broadly. "Looks like he's really desperate to be with me, so could you hurry up with this, mate?" He asks as if it were the simplest of favors.

"James!" Remus punches him in the arm but that idiot just keeps grinning. "Did you forget we're in a crisis because I almost kissed him?"

"Yeah right, that sucks," James sighs. "Sometimes I can't believe how blind you two are," he mumbled to himself, but Remus caught it anyway, he didn't ask though, preferring not to know.

Not now.

"Moons, can we talk?" Sirius is already sitting on Remus' bed early in the morning. He can't wait any longer, he needs to see him, touch him, talk to him. He needs Remus. That's pathetic, he's pathetic but who cares. "Peter told me to give you time so I did, I waited politely all yesterday but today I can't do it anymore. Are you mad at me? Tell me what to do to fix this. I'm sorry about yesterday, I know it could have been too much, too overwhelming. I should have thought better, I–" He wants to tell Remus so much but his words are jumbled and it's so – strange. He wants to do the best he can. He wants to be the best, well... not even the best, just good. Good enough. For Remus.

"Shut up, Sirius, everything's okay," Remus interrupts his ranting, his voice still clouded with sleep, he rubs his eyes, he's so adorable. Sirius's eyes sting, he needs him and Remus to be okay, he'll do anything to make them okay again. Peter won't forgive him if he ruins this even more.

Sirius is probably annoying, he's pushing too hard, he should give him time like Peter suggested but wait- everything okay? Remus said everything was okay, he said that, didn't he? Sirius finds it hard to believe, nothing is okay, after all yesterday... yesterday wasn't okay, something was very, very wrong. Sirius didn't know what but something was.

"Are you sure?" He looks at Remus uncertainly, but when he looks up, Remus is already waiting, smiling at him like he always does, maybe everything really is okay... "We're fine?"

"Yes, we are fine," and with that Sirius breathes a sigh of relief and falls into Remus' arms, hugging him tightly and letting him hold him. And from that moment on, everything was fine. Sirius really wants to believe it, they're fine - Remus said so and he's never been wrong.

They will simply forget about yesterday. Great, it can be done. Sirius can do it.

Can he?

"So how did it go, bright star, did you charm Remus with your plan?" Oh yeah, Sirius can't even have a moment's peace, he knew that staying in the common room won't end well. Mary sits down next to him, smiling widely, asking a question that Sirius didn't want to answer. Oh yes, girls loved love friendly stories and plans, he should have taken that into account.

Had he charmed Remus with his plan? Halfway, maybe. He hadn't used half of his ideas, but that was okay, he could use them in the years to come. Yesterday had been a good day after all... right? Remus was very happy, until noon, that is. But he was, they were both happy, they had a good time. Right?

"Marlene can't keep her mouth shut, can she?" Sirius raises an eyebrow, glancing at the girl already walking towards them. Well, could he blame her? He knew what he was getting himself into when he told her his plan. He knew she wouldn't keep it to herself, he was lucky the whole school didn't hear about it, only their friends.

"Mary!" The first thing Marlene does is scold her completely ignoring Sirius. She didn't even greet him! It didn't matter that two hours ago they were sitting together in the same desk.

Well, Slughorn really was fed up with Sirius's fooling around whenever he was paired with James, Remus or Peter, in fact he had enough of all of them and their antics during his lessons. Sirius was sure that he and his friends had broken the school record for cauldrons blown up during potions. Anyway, Horace had enough and decided to set them straight by assigning pairs himself, no more wantonness, no more choosing partners on your own. Hoping it would calm the marauders down, he paired James with Lilly, Remus with Mary, Peter with Lockhart and Sirius with Marlene (who hated that because she had been paired with Dorcas before).

Slughorn really hoped this would calm them down, he thought he had outsmarted them, that he had won against them, that poor guy was so wrong. He should have contacted Minerva about this, then at least he would have learned that Sirius and Marlene working together were real threats to society without having to experience it firsthand.

"What?" Mary, outraged by the situation, rubs her arm and looks at her friend, completely confused.

"Remember, we talked about this, it's a delicate matter!" Marlene reveals in a hushed voice, which doesn't change the fact that Sirius hears everything. He is literally next to them!

"Really?" Mary blinks slowly. "I must have forgotten," Marlene rolls her eyes. Sirius loved watching the friendship between the girls, it was so interesting.

"They had a fight yesterday, and it was so bad, remember?" Lilly joins them as well, and doesn't hesitate to tell the truth out loud, not even pretending she doesn't want Sirius to hear it.

"We didn't have a fight," Sirius defends himself immediately, takes an offensive stance, crossing his arms. Mary and Marlene blink at him, as if they had already forgotten he was there with them. "Did Remus say we had?" Sirius asks worriedly looking at Lilly. Because if anyone knows the answer to what's on Remus' mind, it's her.

"Relax," Lily waves her hand indifferently, but Sirius doesn't quite believe her yet. "He didn't say anything," she promises. "Well we haven't really talked in a few days," she frowns as if she just realized it. Well... yes it's true, Remus had been very busy lately, unavailable even. Sirius suddenly felt bad for taking up all his free time, because of him Remus couldn't catch up with his friends! Oh, Sirius was so selfish. What gave him the right? He was a terrible friend.

"Well, but Peter said-" Marlene wants to remind them, but Sirius won't find out what Pete said. Too bad, he would like to be included in the gossip. Peter always knows more than he lets on, he's so damn good at keeping secrets when he wants to. You can ask him anything and he'll know, he and Mary were the kings of gossip when they teamed up.

"Shh don't frame him," Mary shushes her, and Sirius rolls his eyes, as if his friends conspiring behind his back was something new. He was well aware that they loved to gossip about him.

"Remus spent the whole afternoon with Poppy," Marlene points out, "not with you." Oh yes, thanks for the reminder, as if Sirius didn't know that, as if it didn't bother him.

"Yeah, rub that in his face, that's not nice Marls!" Mary hits her on the arm but Marlene doesn't really care.

"Because maybe he wanted to? Maybe he loves her? Just a thought," Sirius's face twitches as he tried to give them an excuse that he himself didn't believe in.

"You don't sound too sure. What happened between you two?" Lilly looks down on Sirius, she was always more favorable towards other boys than him.

Out of the four of them she loved Remus the most, that was obvious. They were best friends even before Remus admitted he liked any of his roommates. They met, chatted a bit, and something clicked between them. They were almost like Sirius and James. They loved each other deeply, they were soulmates and... Lily was there for Remus when no one else was. She was so good to him, she was the first friend Remus had ever made and their friendship brought him so much joy. Sirius was grateful to Merlin for it (and sometimes a little jealous).

In second place was James but that was only after he stopped being annoying to her. Honestly everyone breathed a sigh of relief when he gave up on the crush thing and started being friends with Lilly and treating her properly. It was only in their fifth year that they realized how well they worked as friends. And somehow it worked out, James was nice to her, she was nice to James. And when they became Head boy and Head girl their relationship escalated to a true friendship, even though Lilly still often pretended not to like him and scolded him at every turn - maybe that was how she showed love.

Then there was Peter, that was obvious, she spent a lot of time with him in the library in the plant section, and besides all the girls just adored him treating him like a younger brother more than often. He and Lilly got along well and... well that was something Sirius envied because Pete always knew just the right thing to say, Sirius never mastered this art. She spent time with Peter willingly, without being forced to, she enjoyed his company. Who didn't? Peter was so good with people, he always knew what to do, what to say, how to cheer someone up. Sirius tried to learn from him, but he must have been bad at it since he kept screwing everything up.

And then at the end there was a place for Sirius. She didn't hate him, sure, but they weren't friendly either. When they talked it was only in a larger group, when others were present, and they were friends only because they had common friends. Lilly mostly ignored him, not caring about him in the slightest, and he tried not to take it personally, Remus insisted that she didn't really dislike him, but Sirius knew better. He thought it was because he reminded her too much of her sister, but what could he know, maybe she just didn't like him, after all not everyone did.

So we've established that Sirius and Lilly aren't on the best of terms, but now she's asking what he did to Remus? Her best friend? Oh come on, she's gonna hate him! What happened between them? How was Sirius supposed to know? Yesterday was great until something, he had no idea what, had happened and the rest of the day Remus had been successfully avoiding him and– but today everything was normal again, as if yesterday had never existed.

Sirius didn't understand it himself, so how could he explain it?

"I don't know okay? I really don't know. It was good, like, really good and then suddenly it wasn't. I don't know what I did. Remus says I didn't do anything. I know that sometimes I'm too much to handle, that maybe I'm exhausting, and I'm too much, so I don't know, maybe that. Maybe he just had enough," Sirius starts babbling because he was panicking a bit, he always did that with important topics around Lilly. Because if she was to Remus what James was to him, he couldn't let her down, he had to prove that he was good enough for Moony, that he deserved him. At least he tried to be good enough to deserve him.

"Oh, Sirius, that's definitely not it!" Mary assures hastily. Great, Sirius again said something he shouldn't have, he opened up too much, he didn't think his words through, he's such an idiot. He worries his friends with his stupid thoughts, sure, his mind currently hates him but there is no reason to involve others.

"Come here," Marlene pulls the two of them into a hug, Sirius takes advantage of it, he didn't know it was something he needed. Sirius was terribly grateful for each and every one of his friends. And he valued his friendship with girls especially because they were so nice to him, so lovely.

It wasn't that the boys weren't nice, but there was something... something different about girls. Their words had a greater meaning, they were more understanding (maybe), and they didn't make fun of him (mostly). They also hugged better, more often and more willingly, which was a big plus, Sirius loved it.

Lilly just watches from the side, deep in thought, she must know something he doesn't. After all, she is, and Sirius hates to admit it, Remus' best friend. Maybe she knows why Remus ran away from him, maybe that's why she was the only one who didn't hug him. Maybe he really did do something awful, maybe–

"Oh you poor soul," Lilly shakes her head eventually and offers him a hug too. It's not something she does. Yes, she's nice, because that's just how Lilly Evans is, but... if she's not scolding and yelling at Sirius now and is hugging him instead, then maybe– maybe he really didn't do anything. Lily always did the right thing, and if she thought Sirius deserved a hug, comfort and not punishment, then she had to be right, right? Sirius felt better and okay- he's grateful to have Lilly Evans in his life, even if they only have brief good moments together. He totally understands why Remus loves her.

Okay, so it wasn't Sirius's fault... but he found it hard to believe it was Remus's. Remus did nothing wrong, everything he did was perfect. Was there anything he did that he could have thought Sirius would think was wrong? Because, it's true that if Remus thought he had done something that Sirius could hate him for, he would have backed down immediately.

But there was nothing like that!

Well, there was that change of mood when they were on the picnic, and Remus suddenly wanted to go back. But... nothing strange happened before that, right? Sirius didn't understand, this whole situation was strange, he didn't like not knowing and Remus didn't tell him anything and probably wouldn't. This time Sirius would probably prefer another way out than pretending that nothing happened. Could it be that Remus was crying? He had cried more than ever yesterday. Did he feel embarrassed or bad about it? But, Sirius hadn't forced tears of sadness out of him, they had been tears of joy, right? This shouldn't be a problem.

What if Remus thought Sirius was bothered by this? His friends knew he hated tears, hated crying. Tears were not allowed in his family home, that was the first thing, the next was the fact that Regulus had been a huge crybaby as a child and Sirius couldn't stand any sad, tearful eyes from then on. When Reggie cried Sirius cried with him, even when he really didn't want to, he just couldn't help it. Sirius hated crying, tears were weakness - and weakness was not something that was appropriate for a Black. He had stuck to that rule for the first few years at Hogwarts. Now he had come to terms with it and it was better, really. Sirius has grown so much thanks to his friends, you have no idea.

Did Remus know that? Did he know that tears didn't repel him? Sirius has to make sure he knows, so when Remus returns to Gryffindor Tower he quickly breaks away from the girls and runs to him.

"Remus!" Sirius calls as he caught up with him on the stairs, Remus turns and stops in his tracks, he looks at Sirius questioningly, oh yes Sirius needs to explain what he wants. "I don't hate your tears!" He assures fervently. Well, it turned out worse than planned.

"Uh, thank you?" Remus blinks in confusion. Sirius doesn't explain though, he just smiles broadly, the matter is settled, now he can breathe a sigh of relief. Remus will get it, he always gets Sirius.

"Any plans for now?" Sirius asks, he doesn't want to impose himself but on the other hand he really wants to spend time with Remus.

"No, but I'm sure you have some, so lead the way," Remus shakes his head fondly.

Okay, good job Sirius.

Everything is fine.

Night came way too quickly and Sirius was too tempted to crawl out of his bed and join Remus in his. Which wouldn't be weird or unusual at all, since he'd done it hundreds of times over the years. He debated with himself whether he should or shouldn't, but he was a little afraid that he would cross a line that he didn't see, so he decided against it. He had just gotten his Moony back, he didn't want to lose him again so soon.

They had a really nice evening together until Peter came back reminding them about their homework, then the three of them sat down and tried to solve stupid tasks that really didn't make any sense. James as usual spent the evening somewhere, Sirius didn't know where he was disappearing to in secret but he waited patiently for James to tell him himself (Sirius gave him a week at most before he would turn to him with an order to explain it).

It was late now and James must have already come back because Sirius could hear his voice. Since he couldn't sleep anyway he decided to spy on his friends a bit, it was their fault they didn't remember the silencing spell. Peter was talking to James in a hushed voice, Sirius couldn't hear the full words only some murmur, it irritated him, he wanted to be in on it too! Wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation as quietly as possible he got out of his bed and approached James's.

"But seriously, mate, do you think he'll ever realize he's in love with Remus?" Peter sighs heavily as if this matter had been troubling him for a long time.

Remus?

Hey, who was in love with Remus? What's going on? Sirius hadn't noticed anyone getting close to his friend lately. Why hadn't anyone informed him!

Well, don't they know that Remus never had a date after fourth year? How could anyone have fallen in love with him if he spent all his time with their mutual friends. Remus didn't have time for dates he spent all his free time with Sirius, Sirius knew that. Besides Remus would have told him, wouldn't he? He wouldn't have kept it a secret. That means Remus didn't reciprocate the other person's feelings, that's good, that's very good.

Before Sirius could think about why that would be so good, or where the relief was coming from, or why his fists had been clenched a moment ago, James answered. Sirius held his breath.

"I don't know, it's starting to be a pain being around both of them," James sighs. So those two hung out a lot!? Is it one of their friends? No, Pete said 'he', he was talking to James, so it couldn't have been either of them. Could it be someone from their study group? Oh, or the Prefects' meetings!

"I guess the Blacks really are blind to their feelings, it must be in the blood or something," Peter murmurs. Sirius can't believe what he's hearing. Is he right? Someone from the Prefect's meetings? A very specific someone.

And Remus had the nerve to tell him earlier that he liked him more than his brother, what a liar.

Oh right, wait, because that someone is in love, not Remus. Remus isn't. Sirius would have noticed if he was, if Remus's eyes had strayed to anyone other than him, he would have noticed.

And Regulus? Seriously? Of all the people in school? Of course it had to be him, crap of a brother.

Regulus knew that Sirius was in love-. Reg shouldn't do it, he just shouldn't! You should never go after your brother's best friend, it was against the rules!

On the other hand, didn't James have a crush on his brother? Well, he didn't say anything, but Sirius knew him, he recognized the signs, it was quite obvious. James had had a thing for his brother since the beginning of the year (if not earlier), but Sirius was polite enough not to point it out to his face.

So what, Regulus broke two hearts? Oh no, three, because he'll have his own broken too– Sirius, as a good big brother, should– but this jealousy is gnawing at him from the inside.

Remus is his– boyfriend – his friend.

Regulus never should have– but Reg didn't. He didn't do anything. Where did they get that idiotic idea that Regulus was in love with Remus? Sirius knew his brother very well and he would have known, he would have been the first to know that he was in love. Well, Regulus had been looking at their table during breakfast for a long time and smiling stupidly when he thought no one was looking, but he wasn't looking at Remus. He was looking– well, who wouldn't look at James, he was always making a fool of himself.

Hey! Maybe James can keep Regulus' attention on himself! That would be pretty cool. Will Sirius find anyone in the whole world better for his little brother than James Potter? He didn't think so. Oh, and maybe Sirius can help James win his brother over? Oh that would be pretty cool too!

It's decided, these are just baseless rumors what his friends are talking about, okay, Sirius can go back to bed now. But the fact that he heard his name stopped him in his tracks.

"Sirius has never been very literate when it comes to understanding his feelings," okay, that's just rude. "He's quite blind to them," Which, okay. Fair. After thinking about it more, Sirius agrees with James. He often ignores or overlooks his feelings, it must be a result of his upbringing, he supposes so.

Emotions were always a mystery to him, his own that is. He easily confused sadness with anger and often did not allow himself to be happy. The truth is, he often missed some feelings and they came later, with a delay. For example when he argued with his mother during the holidays, then he was not angry then he did not feel hurt only when he returned to Hogwarts and the memories came back to him then... only then the feeling of injustice and hurt got to him as well.

Sirius also often forgets that he should be sad pushing it somewhere deep in his mind, like when Regulus did not talk to him and ignored him, he was not sad until he looked into his brother's face one afternoon and burst into tears right there in that moment. It's as if his mind was receiving his emotions with a delay. It's as if only when someone or something flips some hidden switch that Sirius has no idea about, only then does his mind listen and allow him insight into his own feelings. It must have something to do with how often he repressed and suppressed his feelings as a child, or maybe something is wrong with his head.

Because it was true, Sirius didn't understand, he didn't understand feelings, not when it came to him. True, he could tell in a second that Marlene had a crush on Dorcas after watching their one short meeting during which they mostly insulted each other, but when it came to him? He needed help. He remembered how in his second year he took a really long time to ask James a question: "what does it mean when I feel this warmth inside when I think about you, am I sick?" James laughed until he realized that Sirius wasn't joking. "No, you just like me, we're friends, remember? I'm glad that I make you happy, mate."

Yes, James was right. Sirius had trouble acknowledging his feelings, he'd have to work on that, maybe Minnie or Effie could help him with that. After all, since he already knew what the problem was, he could fix it right? And they will certainly be happy to help him, Minerva is always happy when he comes to her.

"I'm not sure he even knows he's in love," James says– Wait what?

What?

"So maybe we should tell him?" Peter suggests. "You know, like. 'Hey Sirius, you're head over heels in love with Remus, you know that, right?'"

What?

What?

"So he'll get scared and run away?" James snorts, he's right, Sirius would have run away immediately if he heard that.

Now he's running away too.

"But he's hurting Remus, mate," Peter speaks, he sounds tired, not because of the time, but because of the situation he's talking about.

Sirius hurts Remus? His vision blurs.

Are these tears?

He hurt Remus?

He loves Remus?

What?

"I know, but–" And James stops as a noise echoes through their room. Sirius stumbles against the bed as he backs away, heart beating fast. The boys suddenly fell silent.

"Do you think he heard anything?" Peter asks nervously. Oh shit. They cannot know that he has heard what they are talking about, he cannot give himself away. They can't know that he knows. This isn't something Sirius is ready for, this isn't the time for confrontation. They can't know he was eavesdropping, they just can't. Sirius think fast.

"Sweet fucking Merlin!" Sirius hisses in a very loud whisper. "My fucking foot," He curses. "Shut up, you'll wake the others up," he scolds himself loud enough for his friends to hear him, he can almost hear James and Peter's sighs of relief. In order to make it credible that he was not at all eavesdropping on his friends' conversation, he went to the bathroom, not avoiding the floorboards that creaked just to be sure.

His heart is beating so damn fast, is he scared? If so, why? It's Remus, it's his Moony. Oh fucking hell, he needs time, he needs to think.

"Alright, mate?" James sits up in bed and looks at him closely. Peter is already back in his bed, pretending to sleep. Sirius nods, afraid his voice might give something away, but that's not enough for James.

"Everything's okay," so he says sleepily, trying to sound less distraught than he is and James lets go, bidding him a quick goodnight.

They couldn't be right, could they?

Sirius doesn't love Remus.

Sirius doesn't love, he's not made for it, he's not cut out for it, no one ever taught him how. Sure, he loves Regulus, so it's obvious that he can love, but Regulus is his brother, he's family, Sirius has an obligation to love him– really? Of course not. 'Sirius you idiot, you love Reggie for so much more than just being your brother. Get a grip. You do love!'. Sirius loves, he loves his brother and his friends and his cousins ​​and James's parents and Minerva and– he loves he loves he loves.

But does he love Remus? He doesn't... right?

Not like that, anyway. Sure, he adores him, and spends every free moment with him and thinks about him way too often and wants him to be happy more than anything in the world and knows him and knows all the little things about him and understands him and wants him–

But–

Oh.

Oh.

Maybe he does?

It finally dawned on him, something clicked, that closed box in his head finally opened, his heart finally found a way for his brain to hear it.

He loves Remus.

Sirius loves him.

Of course he does.

How could he not?

It was Remus, his Remus, his Moony. Moons. The moon to his star and the love of his life forever.

Love – it was always there when he was with Remus. The feeling was there, it was just that Sirius... Sirius couldn't quite see what it was, couldn't put his fingers on it, couldn't reach it, but it was there, it was there all along. The love was there.

It's so obvious now.

Sirius was sure he had fallen in love there the first time their eyes had met. He just... hadn't caught it. But it's so obvious, isn't it? Sirius didn't exist without Remus, how could he not have seen it before? How could he not notice it when Remus was the first one he looked for in a room full of people, when Remus was his anchor, his home, his safe place. Remus was everything a lover is to Sirius, he always supported him, comforted him, was there for him in his worst (he was the only one Sirius wanted by his side when he wanted to be alone).

Remus was his everything and Sirius cared about him, loved him. He wanted to see him smile. More than that! He wanted to be the reason he smiled.

Sirius wanted the best for Remus and he tried to be the best version of himself for him. Isn't that love? Remus made him happier, it had to be love. Sirius combines all the facts, all the thoughts, feelings and memories and yes, indeed – that's love. True love.

Now he knows and, oh, why so late? Why is he such a fool? Why is he so blind, so oblivious?

Why?

It's so unfair. It's so fucked up. He could be in a relationship with Remus! Oh, the thought, so wonderful. He could be with Remus, be his boyfriend – the thought alone gave him butterflies.

But here the question arises – would Remus want that?

Yes, of course he would, you idiot! – That little voice in the back of his head tells him, but Sirius needs to think it through anyway. He needs to be certain before he decides to do anything with these newly discovered facts.

Sure as hell Remus loves him, they're friends but does he love him? That question occupies Sirius's thoughts for the next few hours.

Remus cares about him, but does he care about him more than about his other friends? Yeah, he does. Remus lets him do a lot more than most. Sirius gets a free pass on everything, he can choose the songs they play, he can steal Remus' sweaters without a word of protest, and most importantly – Remus willingly shares chocolate with him! Remus is also much more physical with Sirius. Remus isn't a touchy person, but with Sirius? They're touching each other constantly and Sirius just knows Remus loves holding him in his arms, playing with his hair, and all the other little touches they do.

Well, not so long ago as yesterday, (although maybe it was the day before yesterday, considering the hour) on Valentine's Day Remus almost kissed him.

Yes, that's right, they almost kissed.

Sirius gasped, as if it had only just occurred to him now. It happened, why did his brain repress it? Why didn't he register it, didn't he focus on it, why? Well, it seemed so natural, so normal, it wasn't something that surprised him, it was just– he doesn't know what it was. It's like he expected it and was disappointed that it didn't happen. Like his whole body understood what he wanted but his brain couldn't keep up with it yet. No, Sirius wouldn't have minded it if Remus had kissed him then, he wanted that. He wanted to kiss Remus, oh he had had that thought more than once, it kept repeating itself. He dreamed about it, he dreamed, not only about it... his lips didn't stop at Remus's, they traveled further, much further.

'Sirius you fool, did you really think it was normal to think about your friend like that?'

But it's true. Sirius just– he really never thought that he could. It never occurred to him that he might be in love with his best friend. It never dawned on him that he wanted to be in a relationship with Remus, that he could be. He didn't realize he could do this, that he could have this. He never would have dared to think that such a possibility existed, that it was within arm's reach, and he could just... grab it. Because... well, he could.

Sirius had spent his entire life hearing that the greatest purpose of his existence was to get married and have children, to create another heir. But fuck that. Legally, he was an adult, he was the heir to the Black fortune, heir to the Black family, he had the power, who could do anything to him? Sirius could make his own decisions, he could. He could decide what his life would be like, what kind of life he wanted. And now... now he knew what he wanted, who he wanted.

The fact that he had just discovered he was gay didn't affect him one bit, he knew, had always known, and the fact that he had never admitted it or understood it was currently of little importance. He was gay, so what? He could be. He could be anyone, anything, as long as Remus loved him. And he did, right? Remus loved him, Sirius was sure of it. Since he was sure of it, he had to do something about it.

Pete had said that Remus was hurt, Sirius couldn't let that be, he had to fix it as soon as possible.

Sirius had a plan.

Remus lazily drags himself out of bed, if he wants to make it to class he has to at least start getting dressed. James and Peter are already leaving for breakfast, whispering conspiratorially to each other, but Sirius is nowhere in sight, has he already left? He never left without Remus.

"Mate, I think it's best if you leave him be, he's sleeping and probably will be for a long time," Peter yawns, waving his hand toward Sirius's bed. He knew what Remus meant before he even spoke, but then again, it's Pete, he knows everything. He was really good at comforting Remus about his love for a certain sleeping prince, you know?

"What happened?" Remus grunts as he closes his eyes again, the vision of sleep so tempting.

"I don't know, but when he woke up with my alarm, I looked at him, he had bags under his eyes the size of the moon so I told him to go back to sleep. It's probably nightmares again, he got up during the night but said everything was fine, now he's sleeping peacefully. I'll talk Minnie into letting him out of his first classes," James dispels all questions and doubts, with a brilliant plan to fix everything as usual. He's a real treasure, it's an honor to have him as a friend. James cares so deeply for Sirius, it's so sweet.

"You're too kind James," Remus smiles warmly at him. He really loved how James was, and who he was to Sirius. Sirius needed someone like that in his life, someone good, and James was good, even more than that. Remus was grateful that the universe had brought these two together. They deserved each other, they needed each other, let's be honest, they didn't even exist without each other, their relationship was beautiful. Remus hoped that the fact of who James was currently dating wouldn't ruin anything between them. It probably wouldn't, show Remus some stronger bond than Sirius's with James or Sirius's with Regulus. Sirius was incredibly good at that, at building bonds, at choosing people for himself in life.

"Are you staying with him?" Peter asks, already knowing Remus' answer. He couldn't leave Sirius alone, could he? How many times had Sirius stayed with him, skipping classes? How many times had he sat by his bed after a full moon? Too many, so Remus can do the same for him at least once. "Goodnight Moony," he adds, amused, before leaving.

After the two of them left. Remus debated for a moment about getting up and going to class like a proper nerd would do, but today his dark side won. He would ask Poppy to excuse him, lie that he felt bad, that it was the moon's fault. He would use this moment to get some sleep and maybe - if he could - spend some uninterrupted time with Sirius. As he fell asleep he wondered why Sirius hadn't slept through the night. Was he really having nightmares again? Oh, what if?

This poor guy had been struggling with them since their first year at Hogwarts, you'd be surprised how well he could hide it. Somewhere in his third year, Sirius started coming to James with this problem, trusting him enough to do it. And James had been a huge support to him over the years. True, Sirius often wandered between all of his friends' beds, waking Peter or Remus up to ask if he could sleep with them, because the company of another person always calmed him down, soothed him, and made it easier for him to fall asleep again.

Remus forced himself out of bed, reached for his pillow and squeezed it tightly as he walked over to Sirius' bed. He was going to be a good friend. He didn't even give himself a moment to think how wrong it was and laid his pillow down gently next to Sirius's and as discreetly as he could, slid under the covers next to his friend.

"Hm?" Sirius mumbles, still on the edge of sleep.

"Shhh, just sleep," Remus whispers, he wrapps his arms around Sirius's waist and pulled him closer. He only did it because he knew that Sirius found sleeping next to someone soothing, of course.

"Mm, Moons," Sirius groans lazily, shifting to snuggle up against Remus, who didn't say a word, just let him. He fears he would let Sirius do whatever he wanted, no matter the consequences.

Remus fell asleep very quickly and when he woke up again the sun was already high and Sirius was still cuddled up to him, he sighed knowing exactly how his body was reacting to this. He looked at Sirius and was about to sink his hand into his curls but he didn't, too risky as it would wake him up and he didn't want that. Sirius deserved his 'beauty hours' – as he called them, an excuse whenever the boys called him a sleepyhead. To kill the boredom, Remus watched Sirius and how his chest was rising with every breath, and additionally he summoned a book to himself, which he didn't focus on too much because it wasn't every day that he had the opportunity to be in bed with Sirius, you know?

"Moons?" Sirius mumbles waking up, as if certain that this was still a dream, he squeezed Remus' hand and frowned. "Is that you?" He made sure, Remus chuckles, sleepy Sirius is so adorable. "What are you doing in my bed, I didn't apparate you here," he slurs still in a sleepy voice.

"But that makes you happy, doesn't it?" Remus laughs and Sirius frowns, but after a moment he relaxed and a big, genuine smile appeared on his face.

"It surely does," he grins. "Not that I'm complaining, but shouldn't you be in class?" Sirius asks, burying his face somewhere to Remus' side, his breath tickling him. He doesn't seem too bothered that Remus isn't in class, he much prefers that Remus is here with him, it shows.

"Worried you won't get your notes?" Remus raises an eyebrow, teasing him. They're okay, everything's okay between them, they can act normally. Remus isn't going crazy at all because of Sirius's warm breath on his skin, why?

"You know Peter's handwriting I hate to decipher. And Prongs doesn't write down half the important stuff. He's always too busy scribbling hearts everywhere," Sirius yawns every other sentence, he must have had a really rough night.

"Ah, so it's actually about the notes, well I thought my presence would make you happy but now I see how it is," Remus nods slowly with a very thoughtful expression. Sirius finds this amusing and Remus loves to make him laugh, to put him in a good mood.

"We both know Lilly is writing down two copies, one for you, and when you write down yours I'll take all the notes from you, I have the perfect plan so stay here with me," Sirius yawns again, pulling Remus closer. Yes, Sirius's plans were always brilliant, for sure.

"I can do that," Remus decides after a moment, Sirius grins happily.

A short time later they go down to the kitchen together for something to eat, after all, they missed breakfast. They talked about everything and nothing and laughed and teased each other and had a nice time like any other ordinary day, and it was good. So good.

Everything was fine, but Remus couldn't shake this strange feeling that Sirius was escaping into his thoughts too often, it worried him but it didn't seem to be anything serious, it wasn't those moments he had after nightmares – which as it turns out he didn't have at all during the night (he didn't reveal the reason for staying up all night anyway). Something was bothering Sirius, but something... pleasant? What could it be? In addition, there was the fact that he was watching Remus more closely than usual, observing him constantly and making Remus blush more than ever. His eyes were shining with amusement and a smile was on his lips and he – he was making (on purpose!) Remus' knees go weak.

"Are you planning on going to any classes today?" Remus asks as they return to Gryffindor Tower. They had two classes left at most, neither of which were particularly interesting or engaging, so he counted on Sirius to happily spend the next few hours with him.

"Nah, I'm skipping all of them," Sirius shrugs.

"What? Skipping school, how dare you, it's so inelegant, it's not proper!" Remus gasps in mock indignation and clutches his heart, stopping in his tracks as if it truly outraged him.

"You're the nerd in our group, I'm surprised you're not crying yet because of the classes you already missed," Sirius rolls his eyes – which, to put it bluntly, sparkle with amusement – and opens the painting in front of them, letting Remus in first.

"Who are you calling a nerd, Mr. Ten OWL's," Remus snorts, Sirius grins. Yeah, exactly, Sirius was an academic genius, every exam he took he passed with more than passing grades and often without even trying! He didn't study as much as his friends but he was still damn smart, and that wasn't fair.

"Still sour about me beating you in Care of Magical Creatures, huh, Lupin?" Sirius raises an eyebrow, smirking – that prick, Remus glared at him. "Oh come on Moons," Sirius laughs. "You were top of our year in Defense Against the Dark Arts, my lovely boffin," he winks, cheering him up.

"Sure," Remus rolls his eyes, pretending that it didn't affect him at all. "Any specific plans for now?" He asks, not really expecting an answer.

"Well... actually," Sirius stopps him and looked him straight in the eye. Okay, weird. "I wanted to talk to you, " he informs, his words heavy, as if he needed courage to continue. This is not a sentence you hear from Sirius. He always reacts immediately, he speaks here and now, he does not wait for a conversation, he does not inform you about it, he does not warn you, not if it is not something extremely important.

"Yeah?" Remus asks with a frown, what serious thing could Sirius possibly want to talk to him about? This situation confuses him; he can't read anything from Sirius's face, even though he usually doesn't have this problem.

"Yes, but this is– in private," Sirius suggests, and so they walk to the dormitory in silence. No doubt, he stressed Remus out a lot. He panics and stresses out so much that his own heartbeat drowns out everything around him, if it weren't so maybe he would hear Sirius's heart doing the same.

"Yeah, so?" Remus hurries when they closed the door behind them, his heart racing.

"Um, about this Valentine's Day-" Sirius began with a boldness that quickly left him. "I mean– it wasn't okay to expect you to spend Valentine's Day with me," he speaks, grimacing as if that was not what he wanted to say, as if he had a plan, a prepared speech that had already failed.

"Oh Sirius it's okay." Didn't they already clear this up yesterday? Everything was fine between them. Remus didn't want to go back to that, he hoped they wouldn't have to. "I really–"

"No," Sirius denies it. "It wasn't okay to expect you to spend the entire Valentine's Day with me," he shakes his head. "Especially since I didn't ask you out first," well maybe it was for the best, if Remus knew about Sirius's plan he would have done everything to get out of it and- but Sirius continued. "I should ask you out on a date first," and he smiles and Remus really just questions his entire existence. Did he hear that right? No, Sirius didn't say that.

"Sirius–" Remus frowns, Sirius's words make no sense.

"No, shh, let me talk Moons," Sirius reassures him with a smile, but keeps his distance. What the hell is going on here? "So, well, it didn't escape my notice that back then– well, you almost kissed me Moons," he says, and the world around Remus suddenly stops.

No, no, no.

Oh, fuck, no.

Is this how it all ends? Is this how their friendship ends? Is he getting his last few seconds with Sirius now? Is he– no, wait, he could deny it, just deny it, say no, he could still save this, he could–

Sirius's words pierce through to him even through the hurricane in his thoughts,

"And I just wanted to say that I'd really like to finish what you started," Sirius smiles happily, as if it was no big deal to him.

Remus just stares at him.

This isn't real. This isn't happening.

What happened to Sirius? Why is he mentioning it now, why only now– they had already established that everything was fine between them, they should forget about that day.

Sirius announces he wants to kiss him? Is this really real or is Remus still dreaming? No his imagination isn't that good. It is real, it must be. It has to be true but that doesn't change the fact that it doesn't make sense at all. What could that possibly give Sirius? Why would he want that? Was he questioning whether he liked boys, was he trying to find out? Was Remus the perfect subject for an experiment? No, Sirius wasn't like that. But if he found out Remus liked him– he wouldn't take advantage of him, would he? No he wouldn't. Never.

"Come on Moons," Sirius tilts his head like a puppy begging for a toy.

"You want me to kiss you?" Remus asks just to make sure, because it seems so unreal. His voice comes out strange which doesn't escape Sirius's notice who suddenly bites his lip as if considering whether to back out but decides against it.

"Well, I can kiss you if you prefer," Sirius tries to joke, the smile returns to his lips. "I just need your permission for that."

What did he just say?

Remus considers it – he has a chance to kiss Sirius – he quickly makes a table of the pros and cons of this situation in his head. There are a lot of negatives but there are also positives and Remus– Remus is such a wuss.

"Alright," he nods slowly.

It's fine, Remus reasons.

It's fine, it's fine, it's perfectly fine.

It's okay, it's good, it's good because it's Sirius. It's good that it's Sirius, Remus wouldn't let anyone else break his heart.

Sirius grins happily and they move closer and for a brief moment it's awkward but then, oh then– Their lips met and it was, oh, it was something Remus had never imagined, something he would never have dreamed of. Because Sirius– Sirius is apparently perfect in everything he does.

It's not like fireworks, it's not violent, it's not heavy, it's not explosive, it's more... like coming home, it's so sweet and tender and full of feelings– and Remus is probably imagining it, but it doesn't matter, he decides that for now he will just enjoy this kiss. Sirius deepens the kiss, chasing his lips ignoring the need to breathe, his hand in Remus' hair and tugging at it without realizing what he's doing. But, well Remus likes it and Sirius likes that Remus likes it so he repeats it over and over and over.

Sirius teases him clearly enjoying the little sounds that Remus makes but he forgets that he is not the only one who can play this game. One of Remus' hands slides from Sirius' face and travels to his waist, pulling him closer even though they're already impossibly close. Sirius's breath hitched and Remus smiles into the kiss. Remus knows this could ruin everything but who cares, he's kissing Sirius. He's kissing him. When if not now? For now Sirius is his. Remus takes his lip between his teeth and bites down. Sirius's breath hitched again, Remus stopped just to check if it was okay. Sirius didn't like this pause.

"Again," he whines, he's so agreeable, so eager... Remus granted his request, he repeated it and then again and again and Sirius moaned over and over, and oh Merlin, it did things to Remus. It was so fucking good– but then Remus feels hands on his shoulders and they push him away gently and he stops and steps back and blinks in confusion. Is this the end? Was this a parting gift? Or now– Has Remus ruined everything?

But Sirius is still holding him no more than an arm's length away and he's grinning and his eyes are shining like a million stars and they're not grey anymore, they're silver and Remus braces himself for it to hurt him because silver always does. But... but Sirius chuckles. He laughed and now he's giggling, it's so giddy, so sweet. He's happy, Sirius is happy, Remus relaxes.

Nothing is wrong.

Maybe, nothing has been ruined– well except for Remus, but that's never been a problem.

"Moons!" Sirius shakes him, did he notice the shadow of sadness on his face? Apparently so. "I'm so sorry!" Oh no, now he's apologizing? Great, the best event of the year is just falling from its position. Remus just kissed Sirius, fulfilled his dream, he could die a happy man right here and now, and what? Sirius apologizes to him for it? That's just his luck. Great. "I had this whole speech and everything and I completely ignored it and went straight to action, it's so stupid!" That was stupid, they shouldn't have– "I shouldn't have done it without explaining," Remus blinks at him. What did he need to explain? "I shouldn't have kissed you before I told you that I love you," and here Sirius ends his feverish speech.

"What?"

"Oh Moons," Sirius rolls his eyes fondly. He had a feeling that Remus wouldn't understand right away, even if he shouted it to his face. His Moony had a tendency to overthink things and now could probably think of a thousand reasons as to why Sirius did it, why he wanted that. Sirius was sure that none of the reasons he came up with were even remotely true so he had to explain. "I love you," Sirius repeats, and will repeat it a million times if necessary. He can repeat this forever, as long as it takes, until Remus stops doubting it.

"Sirius–" Remus tries to interrupt him, he wants to say something but he doesn't even know what, no more words are said so Sirius continues.

"I love you so much, you have no idea. I'll explain but for now I want you to know that I love you, like really love you, in a way that I want to be your boyfriend," Sirius felt all hot and still all giddy, he knew his face was red, but he couldn't bring himself to care about it even a little bit, not now. "Are you okay with this, do you like this plan?" He asks because Remus doesn't answer. Sirius knows, he knows that Remus loves him, he can't be wrong. He is not wrong.

"Are you– What? Sirius–" Remus is at a loss for words, flustrated. Sirius can't help but giggle, his not-yet-boyfriend is truly adorable.

"Do you need a moment, Moons?" Sirius raises an eyebrow teasing him. Because what better thing is he supposed to do? He might as well try to lighten the mood a bit because really, is it that serious? Sirius knows he loves Remus, and Remus loves him too, so it's only a matter of time before they become boyfriends. Oh he can't wait for it.

"Oh shut up," Remus huffs, Sirius just grins stupidly. "What has gotten into you?" He asks but Sirius mostly ignores him, he still feels all warm and fuzzy inside and well, he really wants to kiss Remus again.

"I love you," he says again, these are his new favorite words, he can loop them like a broken record. "And I want you to be aware that if you don't tell me you love me too I'll cry, you've got half a minute for that, Moons," Sirius threatens and Remus shakes his head, his eyes shining so brightly, turning so very gold. Sirius thinks it's probably dawning on him that this is real. And this is, this is so very true.

"Oh my world," Remus takes a deep breath, he smiles almost shyly. He is about to say it, Sirius can't wait, he bites his lip nervously. But as soon as his teeth met his lip it split, Sirius was surprised to taste blood, he immediately pouts. "I love–" Remus pauses, apparently noticing Sirius's expression, he didn't blame him, he must have looked ridiculous now. "–you, Sirius," he finishes, chuckling. Sirius looks up at him, wanting to at least feign irritation, but Remus is already close to his face, his thumb wiping away the blood. "I'll fix it, yeah?" Remus reaches for his wand and quickly makes Sirius whole again. His hands cup Sirius's face and he smiles warmly. "I do love you, Sirius," he sounds a little more professional than the first time, and Sirius grins at him. "But you already know that, right, smartass?" Remus flicks him on the nose with a fond smile.

"Yeah," Sirius grins some more. "Kiss?" He asks, and who is Remus to refuse him?

Later they'll lie down and explain everything, it'll be a very long conversation but it'll be there and then... then everything will really be fine, but for now they kiss again.

They'll get it right, just you wait.

Remus really appreciated the fact that their friends had decided to give him and Sirius a lot of uninterrupted time to themselves. Today in particular their friends were so busy with themselves and their own tasks that it wasn't until the evening fell that they made their way to the Gryffindor common room. Right after class ended, Remus received an owl from Lilly, a package with notes from class along with a short note: we won't be back with the girls until evening so I'm sending the notes so you can look through them earlier. Take care, Remus.

Apparently they had some plans, and it so happened that James and Peter had plans too, so he and Sirius had a lot of time before their friends returned, so much time that Sirius managed to come up with a new brilliant plan. He's been coming up with a lot of these in recent days. For now, however, Remus watched as Sirius focused on copying today's notes from class, although he had sworn that he didn't have to, that he didn't need it, but, not too surprisingly, one word from Remus was enough to make him eagerly get to work.

Remus was lucky because he didn't even have to write the notes himself, they were already done. Oh how he loved his friends. As soon as Lilly heard that Remus wouldn't be in class today she rushed Marlene to get that special quill. The quill that James had given Remus for his birthday in their third year because... well, sometimes even writing notes was too much for him, sometimes even keeping his attention to write down the words and holding the quill was quite a challenge.

Sometimes Remus was in too much pain to even hold the quill in his hand so James gave him one that wrote on its own. Remus only had to write down every letter of the alphabet before using it for the first time so the notes would be in his handwriting and the rest would work itself out. He or one of his friends would simply place this quill on the parchment and whenever the teacher started telling the students something important it would write it down, it was a really helpful magic. Well, yes, it was a bit like cheating, but Minerva turned a blind eye to it, and if she did, so did the other teachers. Remus didn't use it often, only when he was forced to skip classes before or after the full moon. This time, however, it was a simple whim, and Remus would have to explain to Lilly that he didn't feel bad today at all, he simply felt like spending time with Sirius. But, oh sweet Merlin, how grateful he was for his laziness today.

Remus was lost in thought so he didn't even notice Sirius suddenly stop writing. He did, however, notice when Sirius climbed onto his lap with a mischievous smile.

Oh, so the show begins.

Sirius thought it would be too simple, too boring, if they just told their friends hey, we're together so he came up with a great plan, a prank actually. How could he call himself the greatest genius prankster of all time if he didn't prank his friends when such a wonderful opportunity arose?

"They'll be here soon," Sirius grins and gives him a quick kiss, Remus chuckles.

As if on cue the door to the Gryffindor common room opened and their friends rushed in. Marlene in a heated conversation with James about their 'friends' from Slytherin and their next training session, which they absolutely must attend together, to find out their rivals' weaknesses of course, it's not like they thought Regulus and Dorcas looked hot in their Quidditch uniforms and wanted to stare at them with impunity. Of course not. Lilly and Mary were discussing something in hushed tones and Peter was shouting after them for leaving the door open. Sirius must have noticed on the map that they were going here, and right now he was sprawled on Remus, giggling as he broke a chocolate frog into pieces and shoved every second one under Remus' nose to which he rolled his eyes in response, trying his best not to smile.

"Hey guys," Peter eyes them suspiciously. Remus looks at him almost pleadingly, and Sirius ignores him completely and pokes Remus in the cheeks with his finger. Sirius is so fixated on Remus that he doesn't seem to notice the rest of his friends, which makes them frown in thought. Their plan is slowly starting to work. Ah, and what is this plan, you ask?

This brilliant plan involves the fact that Sirius pretends to be infected with Amortentia. The idea is to make their friends think his obsession with Remus is a temporary, potion-induced one, when that's not true at all. He's mental about Remus for real. Oh, their faces when they realize that Sirius wasn't pretending, will be unforgettable, it will be wonderful.

"What's going on?" James laughs, and when Remus turned to him to explain, Sirius immediately took his face in his hands and forced him back to look only at him. Sirius is a much better actor than him, or maybe he doesn't even try to act, he just stares as if spellbound into Remus' eyes, in his eyes so much love, so much emotion. Remus had to be blind not to notice it earlier. It's so obvious Sirius loves him. So obvious. Remus could have listened to Peter and James ages ago, maybe then he would have had Sirius much sooner– but– but does it matter? Better late than never as they say, and they found their way to each other, they have their happy ending, everything is okay, it was worth waiting for.

"What's wrong with him?" Lilly looks them over critically. Sirius, as he has from the beginning, ignores everyone else and looks only at Remus, holding his hand in both of his own and kissing each knuckle of his right hand. Remus sighs, fighting a smile.

"Is he, like, super drunk?" Mary guesses as she sits down on the couch next to them. Apparently Sirius decided that she had sat too close to Remus because he looked at her angrily, almost growling at her. Remus just sighed again, he tries his best but he has no idea what to do or how to act convincingly and this also helps him keep from laughing. Sirius, on the other hand, finds himself in the role, with ease he reaches for Remus' hand and places it on his head with an unspoken order but Remus knows anyway, he starts running his fingers through Sirius's hair, which seemed to satisfy him.

"Okay, weird. Explain to us Remus," Marlene sat down in the chair across from them. She eyes Sirius suspiciously, byt he pretends not to notice, just simply closes his eyes, enjoying the moment.

"Mhm," Sirius hums contentedly. All of the friends' gazes are still focused on the two of them.

"You're always weird, but today you're taking it too far, mate," Peter decides, shaking his head in slight disbelief. He's probably already breaking down inside, preparing himself for another serious talk with his friends. 'No Sirius you can't do that.' And 'No Remus you can't let him do that.' And then to both of them 'can you just kiss already and get it over with?'

"Please help me, he's been like this all day," Remus says, he manages to reach the heights of a voice that sounds resigned and very tired. Time to make this believable, right? On any other day it would have exhausted him because 'I love him so much and he doesn't love me' but Sirius does, he loves him, it's new and it's a wonderful feeling.

"Yes, but why?" Marlene raises an eyebrow.

"Amortentia?" Mary suggests and everyone thinks it's a brilliant guess, agreeing with her because it makes sense. Oh yeah, they got it, they guessed it, they believed it, now it's just time to make it more believable. They're going to have so much fun with this. Remus bites his lip to hold back a smile.

"Which one of you halfwits decided to give it to him?" Lilly folds her arms at her sides and looks at all thier friends reproachfully. She scolds them all for this stupid idea even before she finds out who came up with it, Remus loves her.

"I guess he decided to take a chance on eating some of the chocolates he got for Valentine's Day, they must have been filled with amortentia because look at him. I can't move an inch away without him crying," Remus decides to interject since no one has said anything, it's a very possible story and no one will dispute it so they decided to bet on it. Now they just have to wait and see what their friends do with this information.

"Is he really that stupid? We agreed in the first year not to touch those Valentine's gifts, it's always a trap!" James sighs resigned but clearly not surprised.

"Oh, you poor thing," Lilly looks at Remus with sympathy, and he feels sorry for her. She is such a sweetheart, she worries that Sirius's behavior is hurting him. Oh, how little does she knows.

"So what, he's obsessed with you?" Mary looks at Remus and he shrugs.

"Is this something new?" Marlene snorts and Peter punches her in the arm to silence her. How many times had their friends shouted to each other in front of their eyes about the love between the two of them and neither he nor Sirius had seen it, or rather, had not wanted to see it? This is just ridiculous. It seems so funny now - how is it possible that they went even a single day without knowing that they were head over heels in love? It was never a secret, their love was never silent, they were just deaf to it for some reason.

"Wait! We can totally use this, it'll be so much fun!" Mary grins happily, some brilliant plan already forming in her head of what stupid Sirius could do because of one word from Remus.

"Yes! Like, let's make him–" Peter agrees with her fervently, and the rest nod in agreement, they're already plotting, and Remus loves them for it.

"Wait..." Lilly frowns. She has been quiet for a while, she must be thinking very deeply about something because the expression on her face is more than just disbelief. "No, that can't be it," she mutters under her breath. Something like fear flashes in her eyes? But it's absurd, why would she– Remus doesn't understand.

"Don't tell us, Lilly flower, that you're into Remus too," James gasps with his hand over his heart and everyone except Sirius bursts out laughing.

"I wouldn't judge," Marlene assures, raising her hands in defense. "Have you seen this guy? He's hot, I even had a crush on him in like third year and I'm a lesbian, so you know," she shrugs and laughs at Sirius's expression.

"Mine," Sirius announces, and enters a staring contest with Marlene.

"You want to fight over him, Black?" Marlene asks, finding it hilarious, reveling in Sirius's indignation and baseless anger.

"Don't you dare try, he's mine," Sirius informs seriously with a face that makes everyone laugh. "Right Moons?" He turns to him for confirmation with his eyes all heart-shaped.

"Oh, fuck," Lilly cursed and suddenly she has everyone's attention. "This isn't happening, It's not true. Guys, tell me it's not true," she begs, she looks like her world is falling apart and Remus doesn't understand. What was wrong? What did they do wrong?

"What's wrong Lills?" James looks at her, confused. He's the only one brave enough to ask the question.

"Amortentia doesn't work if you're already in love," she leaves them all with that. Sirius looks up at Remus in slight panic, their plan is going wrong, they didn't get to enjoy it for long. How could they have known that Lilly was such a genius at potions and would know every little thing about an advanced potion that was only mentioned once in class? No one knew that! Remus definitely didn't know, and Sirius clearly didn't either, because he wouldn't have proposed this plan if he had.

"It must have been done wrong, it must have been–" Lilly searches for a any different solution, her eyes filling with tears. Because it's true, it doesn't make sense. If she knows that Sirius loves him and now she gets proof that he doesn't, it must be awful. "It can't be possible, Sirius– I know he– Remus I'm so sorry," she looks at her best friend, eyes full of tears that are about to spill.

"Oh Lilly flower," Sirius is by her side faster than Remus can react, he hugs her to himself rocking her gently. Remus never thought he would ever see Sirius comforting Lilly, much less that she would allow it. Is this the turning point in their relationship? Is this the beginning of their friendship? Remus would really like it if his best friend got along with his boyfriend.

"What's going on?" James blinks in confusion, suddenly everything makes even less sense than it did before.

"It's okay, it's okay," Sirius assures soothingly. He hugs her but somehow Lilly doesn't mind at all, Sirius is okay– most of the time at least, it's just the fact that he often brings her best friend to tears that she doesn't like. Remus could have chosen better– could he? He and Sirius were made for each other– were they? She just got proof that they weren't but it doesn't make sense– Sirius keeps talking and talking, rocking her soothingly, he's so warm so loving so comforting. "You're right, you're so right, I do, I do love him, for real, I do, Lilly," he whispers to her ear. Is he joking? She opens her mouth in shock, because he doesn't sound like a madly in love anymore but like a normal Sirius. He just played with her, it's a damn prank. Of course it's just a stupid prank!

"You are such a bloody bastard," Lilly hits him pushing him away from her. It wasn't nice, or cool, or fair. How could he play with her feelings like that? And what's more important, how could she be stupid enough to fall for their pathetic show? It's beneath her dignity. How could she not see it was a scam?

"Oh, you really love me, don't you, Lills?" Sirius grins at her. How dare he?

"So what? What's the deal? What happened?" Mary looks at Lilly confused, seeking an explanation. It's terribly strange and confusing, Sirius and Remus argue, they love each other, they are together but they are not. They spend Valentine's Day together but they do not love each other and now they do this weird thing with Sirius more pathetically in love than usual, which is supposedly a matter of amortentia and then Lilly suddenly cries and they do not love each other? Too much drama even for her.

"Was it fake?" James pouts, he already figured it out too, he also hoped that maybe Sirius would finally pull himself together and confess his feelings. Remus would be so happy then. James and Peter had waited so long for this moment, this was the twelfth bet on when Sirius and Remus would finally get together, he thought they were closer than ever and yet they weren't. It didn't even matter that Peter would win (James bet on Christmas).

"Yes, yes, the show is over," Sirius spins around, rolling his eyes, and eventually plops down on the couch next to Remus. "Lilly ruined everything. Ugh, it was so funny! It was, right Moons?" Sirius elbows his boyfriend in the stomach for verbal confirmation.

"Remember, my dears, not to leave these two alone, together they come up with too stupid ideas," Marlene instructs, wagging her finger at them. She loved those idiots and she honestly appreciated Sirius' efforts. It turned out she was right about this whole Valentine's Day being their first real date, it satisfied her. She couldn't wait to share this with Dorcas, because if Sirius and Remus finally got their act together then there was hope for Barty and Evan too. They haven't said it yet, haven't admitted it, but Marlene already knows, these are the minimal changes that give them away, she is a thousand percent sure that Sirius and Remus are finally together, that they are in a relationship, for real.

"So there was no Amortentia? You were faking it?" Peter asks just to make sure, he is truly devastated, he is ready to bang his head against the wall or force these two to finally kiss, it doesn't matter which one it is, he will do it today.

"Yeah, so what?" Sirius smiles proudly.

"So you're not madly in love with him?" Mary points at Remus.

"I didn't say that," Sirius shruggs shutting everyone up. Sirius loves confusing his friends, it's so funny to watch their faces. Of course he was madly in love with Remus, of course he was. How could they not have known this yet? He was sure he would get the credit for being the last one to figure it out.

"You are?" Remus smirks, looking down at his boyfriend. Boyfriend – one word and it could make Remus go all soft. He is so happy right now, he could stay like this forever.

"You already know," Sirius smiles, he tugs on Remus's sweater to pull him closer to him and waits for a kiss. They had had plenty of them already - all the kisses, but this one, just like any other, was wonderful. Now that they could kiss freely because they were a couple, (sweet Merlin they were a couple!) they would take advantage of that at every opportunity. Oh their friends would hate them more for being together than for not being together, give them a month. A month and they'll be whining and saying that it was better when these two were pining after each other, it was easier to watch than their make-out sessions.

"Alright, so what did we miss?" James looks excitedly from one friend to the other.

Ah, now they have to explain it all but their friends are already hyping and cheering them on. They are so happy for them. Sirius and Remus deserve their happy ending, their happily ever after, they deserve this more than anyone else.

Their story is just beginning, there are still millions of plans to write down and implement ahead of them.

They will be so good together, just you wait.