Work Text:
When she woke up that morning, Lucy knew she was going to be screwed, she just didn’t know it’d be because of a certain brunette with big brown eyes.
Last night during their show in Nashville, she could feel her back screaming for help. They were almost at the end of their tour, and Lucy could already feel the effects that constantly sleeping in a bunk had on her back. Having chronic pain meant she needed extra care for her herniated disc not to start hurting again, but it was hard with the chaos of touring.
So even before Lucy opened her eyes in the morning, she felt like a thousand needles were pressing down her spine. She cursed herself mentally for not taking better care of her own body.
Reaching for her phone was hard as she was unable to move her body. After checking the time, she decided it was best to call Julien, who was probably the only one awake.
“H-hey, could you do me a big, big favor?”, she asked, her voice failing from holding back the tears.
“Sure, Luce, I’m coming there”.
Watching the brunette approach the bunk area, Lucy thanked God for Julien Baker, her knight in shining armor. Who was more like a knight in an oversized band shirt and boxers, but it didn’t matter, she liked that version way more.
“Good morning”, Julien said, leaning down to press a kiss on the dark curls.
“Good morning”.
Lucy tried to smile, but ended up grimacing in pain, watching as Julien’s face got concerned.
“Hey, what happened?”.
“Um, I think I’m having a crisis? I mean, my back really, really hurts, and I think it’s the disc again“, she answered, her eyes filling with tears. “I can’t even move, so can you please get me my pain meds?”.
“Oh, Luce, of course. What bag is it in?”
“It’s, um, the blue one, I think”.
“Alright, I’ll be right back”, Julien promised, giving the girl another kiss, this time on her forehead.
Lucy couldn’t help but feel warm inside when Julien was affectionate with her. It kept the little flame inside of her heart alive, the one thing that hadn't changed since they met seven years ago: her crush on Julien.
She knew Julien was her best friend, and that making a move could ruin everything for not only the both of them, but also for Phoebe and obviously the band. And that’s why she hadn’t acted on her feelings, and probably never will.
If keeping her feelings to herself meant she could keep her best friend forever, that was what she was going to do, even if she still yearned for every single tender display of affection, and cherished their moments together.
Lucy closed her eyes, only hearing the bus moving and Phoebe’s snoring. She only opened them, against her will, when she felt a small, warm hand grip her foot.
“Found it!”, Julien exclaimed, with the meds blister and water glass all in one hand.
“Okay, can you try sitting up for me, Luce? I’ll help you, I promise it’ll be quick”.
Lucy nodded, watching the woman carefully leave the glass on an improvised shelf. She then grabbed one of Lucy’s hands while placing the other on her spine. Julien gently patted her chin once she was sat, silently asking her to open her mouth.
The green-eyed woman whined, squeezing the tatted hand harder as she swallowed the pill. Julien laid her down again, never letting go of the grip in their intertwined hands.
“Hey, didn’t you use those pain patches last time? Do you know where they are?”.
“I don’t know, it should be with the meds”, she felt like crying again, the pain was too much, she couldn’t even think straight.
“It’s alright, Luce, I’ll search for them”.
Lucy closed her eyes again, too tired to stay up, but in too much pain to go to sleep. She felt bad for dragging Julien into this with her, but she knew she couldn’t do it without her.
After some minutes, what felt like hours, Julien was back, the pain patches in hand. She lightly brushed some black locks out of the pale white face, waking her up. She then helped Lucy turn around in the bunk, laying on her chest.
“Where does it hurt the most, Lucy?”, Julien asked, lifting the woman’s shirt.
Lucy pointed down, indicating it was her lower back. Julien put her hand there, and she whined in pain, demonstrating that it was the right place. Placing the patch, the brunette ran her hands up and down Lucy’s back, stopping them by her waist, and leaning down to leave a kiss where it hurt the most.
The black-haired felt her heart skip a beat, a fluttering feeling deep in her stomach. The flame was now even bigger, and she gazed at Julien with a mix of yearning and desire as she turned to lay on her back.
“Do you need anything else?”, she asked. Lucy pouted her lips and lifted her arms, in a silent request to cuddle. Julien smiled, tugging the bunk curtain into its place and laying down with the girl.
The bunk was definitely not meant to have two people in it, but Julien and Lucy were, well, Julien and Lucy, and they always made a way to be together, even in the tiniest of spaces.
It was like they couldn’t be separated, like a two-piece set with a warning to not be sold apart. Julien always found her way to Lucy’s lap, and Lucy always needed to be in touch with the girl, or else they would combust. Everyone around them could see they were in love, except for them.
Lucy found her space in the crook of Julien’s neck, inhaling the fragrance she knew so well. Her woody cologne mixed with the coffee she just had and the lingering scent of cigarettes. She would find it despising if it was anyone else, but it was Julien, and that scent only felt like comfort to her, because it meant Julien was around.
“I’m sorry for making you do everything for me”, the woman started. “I could just get up and do it”.
“Lucy, you couldn’t even sit”.
“I know, but like, it doesn’t mean I needed your help”.
“You did need my help, though”.
“Shut up”, Lucy mumbled. “I hope it goes away soon”.
“It will, bab- Luce”. Lucy froze, feeling Julien’s heart beat twice as fast under the hand she had on her chest. “You didn’t hear anything”, the brown-eyed woman grumbled.
Lucy lifted her face, watching as the woman’s cheeks only got more flushed. Beams of light from the early morning sun entered through the curtains that covered the window, making Julien look even prettier.
The light that brushed her hair made it look brighter, almost golden. Her red cheeks were also adorned with the tiniest freckles, that you could only see up close. Her eyes, which were always so dark, were lighter, almost caramel, giving her a softer appearance.
Lucy brought her finger to the tatted arm, tracing the ink lines she knew so well. When they first met, Julien only had a few tattoos, so Lucy was there to know when each of them was made, and the meaning behind them.
She traced lines until she reached the three of cups near to where her head was resting. She left her hand there, above her neck, feeling the pulse of the blood flowing under layers of skin. She remembered the meaning of the tattoo.
Friendship. And only friendship.
As she took her hand off her neck, Julien was faster, grabbing it and putting it back to where it was. Looking up once again, Julien, whose eyes were once closed, was now staring at her, her wooden eyes glistening as she examined her face. Lucy breathed in and out, grabbing her neck to make her hands less shaky.
You know what?, she thought. Fuck the friendship.
“You’re pretty”, she whispered.
“And the meds are kicking in”, Julien turned, staring at the ceiling.
She was right, her pain was still there, but it wasn't so unbearable now. And yeah, maybe she wouldn’t have said it if she hadn’t taken the pain killers, which made her mind foggy, but it was true nonetheless.
“It doesn’t make it any less true”.
“You’ll regret it and blame it on the meds”.
“I won’t regret it, because I’ve been wanting this for years”.
There, she said it. And before Lucy could take it back, apologize, or even form a cohesive thought, she felt the thin soft lips pressing against hers.
The flame had now spread all over her body. She was burning hot on the inside, her skin was flushed and warm to the touch. The butterflies on her stomach turned out to be moths, following the flame all around, fluttering their wings in a chance to escape.
Lucy kissed her back, moving the hand that was once in the girl’s neck to her hair. One of Julien’s hands cupped the blushed cheek, running her thumb over the soft skin. The other was under the green-eyed girl’s shirt, carefully pressing her waist.
Obviously, they had kissed before. They kissed every night on stage. They kissed in front of a camera for their music video. They kissed each other goodnight, and thanks, and good morning. They were running out of excuses to kiss one another.
But this kiss was different. It wasn’t like the ones they shared with Phoebe, when they ran around each other to give them kisses. It wasn’t like on stage, where thousands of people were watching. It wasn’t like the time they kissed on camera, despite the emotions Lucy was feeling during it.
It was a real kiss. With no excuses, no one watching, and filled with emotions. Once Julien entered Lucy’s mouth with her tongue, they settled in a steady rhythm. Their tongues were brushing against one another, and Lucy could taste the coffee the brunette had had earlier.
Julien squeezed her waist tighter, and Lucy sighed, pulling her light hair. Their tongues now moved more intensely, and they only stopped when the urge for air appeared.
Lucy laughed, hiding her face on Julien’s warm neck. She felt the woman laughing as well, brushing guitar-calloused fingers against soft dark locks.
“I even forgot my back was hurting”.
Julien propped herself up, checking to see if the pain patch was on the right spot, and offering a massage.
“It’s alright, Jules, I can barely feel it anymore. Now lay back down, I want to sleep”.
They settled in the same position as before, Lucy resting her head on Julien’s neck, and a hand on her chest. Julien had a hand on the soft black hair, the other still gripping on her waist.
“I love you”, she confided.
“I love you too”, Lucy replied, whispering as if it was a secret.
Lucy knew they had a lot to talk about later. Their feelings. What will happen. Phoebe. But when she felt Julien’s fingers tenderly running through her hair, she suddenly knew it would be alright.