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Luce dies first.
It comes as a surprise considering Checker Face said they were meant to wear the pacifiers for as long as possible. This doesn't even come close to as long as possible.
Will the rest of them follow after her soon enough too? Or is it this is only part of the course with this so-called curse that she both went first and so soon afterward?
Who's to say? Checker Face could have said anything to explain their new predicament, and Reborn wouldn't have trusted any of it no matter what.
He comes to the funeral well after it should have already been wrapped up. He doesn't see any of the others once he arrives, maybe because they showed up earlier than him and already left, maybe because they plan to show up even later than him.
Or maybe they don't plan to show up at all, it's hard to say.
Aria is still there, standing in front of her mother's grave, with a couple of Giglio Nero men keeping watch at a respectful distance. She doesn't turn to greet him, though he knows she's aware of his presence, and Reborn doesn't stand any closer to her than necessary.
Aria, standing in front of her mother's grave after she buried her, a little girl all but in practice.
Luce's little girl, as far as he can guess at what kind of little girl Luce was from the woman he knew.
Here she stands, her back straight and her head held high, her short hair only highlighting more the line of her shoulders, straight and steady. Donned in a black formal attire, she looks every bit the next Donna of the Giglio Nero family, dignified and composed like this isn't the worst day of her life so far.
Well, the second worst day of her life, to be more accurate. It couldn't have been all that pleasant either to be breathing and alive on the day Luce died.
Should Reborn take a look at her face, he'd see no sign of tears on it. He'd see proof of the tears she shed before when she could, where she could, where she was allowed to, but Aria wouldn't have shed a single tear during the funeral.
Should he make her greet him, she wouldn't let her grief stop her from showing the perfect behavior expected from both their standing, down to a polite and welcoming smile on her face.
Luce's little girl.
What a pity, should it really be true.
Don't you think so too?
Luce stands next to her grave, her smile shining ever so bright, her whole being looking as alive as he is.
Of course. It's beneath her to look the part of being nothing more than the result of his mind playing games on him without his permission.
She looks like Reborn can only be able to touch her should he come in contact with her. She looks like he'd naturally feel warmth from that touch on account of the blood running through her veins.
It's not a feat Reborn would have necessarily believed her able to achieve before now, but now it's happening this way, it only feels right it does.
Luce smiles wider, even brighter. "Do you already miss me this much?" She ought to be looking at her grieving daughter, grief of her own on her face to match hers, but Reborn's always been a selfish man, and she's looking at him straight in the eye. "That would make me so happy."
If Reborn wasn't already aware of this being nothing more than a trick of his mind, the illusion would have shattered right then and there.
Even if she truly meant it, the Luce he knew, the one who was still alive would have never said it out loud.
This is Luce just as he remembers her to look like the last time he saw her. It's her voice too, but, inevitably so, he supposes, her words can only be ones Reborn would have come up with himself.
He'll take it.
Reborn smirks, ever so slightly tilting his head down in greeting.
If nothing else, it seems that at the very least he isn't about to forget what she used to look like anytime soon.
Reborn should see her everywhere, no matter the time or what he's doing, whether he's awake or asleep. She should always be there at the corner of his eyes, but gone whenever he turns his head to properly look at her; should be a face in the crowd he can't be sure was actually hers, but can't help himself from chasing after her anyway.
She should even go on about her own day as long as it's within his sight and yet out of his reach so to keep taunting him.
At least, that's the consensus about how a ghost should be haunting you, isn't it?
Evidently, Luce couldn't care less about it. She doesn't always show herself when Reborn actually wants her to, but has a knack for appearing whenever Reborn least expects her to or doesn't want her to at all.
Reborn takes his order from the counter, turns around to walk to his table with his coffee in hand, and there she is, falling in step with him.
Reborn goes through his morning routine, styling his hair the way he likes it best and smoothing over his sideburns, and there she is, sitting at the edge of the bathtub, watching him through the mirror.
Reborn finally makes it back home from a job, nothing in his mind except from how badly he wants to pass out in his bed until next week, and there she is, sitting on the couch in his living room like she was waiting for him.
"Miss me?" she always says first whenever she feels like talking.
"What's there to miss?" Reborn has taken to always say in return. "You're right here."
He doesn't say it with warmth nor with levity.
Luce only smiles wider at him every time anyway.
Aria's Inheritance Ceremony goes well. She kept herself alive and the family afloat long enough to become old enough to go through with it, and it's enough proof she deserves for it to happen to silence anyone present who might still think otherwise.
That Reborn helped her keep her family afloat behind the scenes is nobody's business, but it should have been plenty enough to also change the mind of anyone present who might have been tempted to bite more than they can chew, looking at the girl who's now their Donna.
It shouldn't have been Aria's business either—she certainly didn't learn it from him—, but she still made a point to thank him for it. Reborn could have been surprised by it, but he got to know Luce long enough to not even be fazed by it anymore.
Reborn sits at the Arcobaleno's table with Fon and Verde, hastily prepared at the last minute at a place of honor. They didn't get an invitation to the ceremony like the other guests present, yet they couldn't not have showed up anyway when the Sky pacifier hangs around Aria's neck.
Well. They could have not showed up. If she was even older for her odds of a peaceful reign to be higher.
As it is, it's only polite of them to make clear what anyone who'd try to go against her would actually be going up against.
Luce is there too.
She ought to be grateful she gets to be here for this, even like this, but she's been feeling positively not happy ever since she appeared, let alone grateful, and Reborn has yet to even look at her.
She sits on his chair's armrest despite his chair being empty, Fon, Verde and him alike sitting on the table instead. The formal part of the ceremony is over, everyone sitting down again while foods are being brought to their tables to add to the drinks already there, Aria about to mingle with her guests.
"You will keep looking after her for as long as the both of you still breathe," are the first words Luce says.
She says it matter-of-factly, not even as an order or a non-negotiable demand. Like it doesn't even have to be said he will keep doing so.
Reborn reaches for a drink lest his hands do something else more... unbecoming of a guest attending an event such as this.
The nerve of her.
I could make this a choice if I wanted to.
"Will you? If I thought there was even the slightest possibility you could feel inclined to do so one day, I would be begging you to never do it as we speak."
Reborn brings his drink to his lips, hiding the twist of his features in it.
That's not even funny.
It is amusing Reborn wouldn't be able to say for certain what his face looks like at the moment.
Beg? Now she's willing to beg for the things she wants? For the things she can't accomplish on her own?
Reborn doubts she even knew the existence of the word.
She doesn't even like me.
Aria's polite about it, respectful about it, kind and grateful about it even on her best days, but Reborn's no fool.
"She doesn't like being around you," Luce corrects. "And how could she? I'm always here too whenever you're with her."
And that's Reborn's fault now, is it? As if she doesn't come and go as she pleases.
As if she didn't come in his life and go out of it as she pleased too when she was still alive.
"Come on, now. I'm not asking for that much, am I?" Instead of Luce's voice taking on a gentler tone to butter him up like it should have, its wry edge sounds like the safety of a gun being switched off. "Odds are, she'll stop breathing before you do. And odds are, she won't even be breathing all that long anyway."
It's deafening.
With ringing ears, Reborn turns his head to look at her.
Luce stares back, and Reborn has to swallow back the bile rising up his throat.
Luce's face and Luce's voice, except it can only say Reborn's words. Until, apparently, even her voice sounds more like his own too, and her face doesn't look like her own at all.
He'd take it, he said on the day of her funeral.
He even looked forwards to be unable to forget how she used to look like even if he wanted to.
Ha. It's humbling to realize he can still show such naivety even already so far down the line.
Then again, Luce's always been good at keeping him humble, for better or worse.
Reborn averts his eyes as the sounds in the room fill in his ears again and his stomach settles down. He ignores Fon's and Verde's gazes on him, watching Aria walk straight to them.
It seems they're going to be the first guests she'll greet as Giglio Nero Nona. Smart move.
She might have gone for a different order under different circumstances, but as it is, lowering the risks of her first steps as the Donna going wrong until she can stand on her own must come first. It's bound to offend people who shouldn't be offended, people she'll be smart enough too to not offend again in the future, but that they won't breathe a word about it anyway is the whole point of their little show of force.
Her hair are longer since the last time he saw her, now reaching her shoulders. She's tall for her age too, to the point you could almost overlook the way the Giglio Nero cape on her shoulders drags on the floor.
Aria walks as if it didn't all the same, all eyes on her, but the room might as well be empty for how little she lets it affect her. She smiles at them as she draws closer.
"She is not me."
Reborn holds his breath. Counts to three before releasing it slowly.
The hand holding onto his drink is still tense, but it doesn't tense any further to the point of shattering it.
Just because I can't get back at you in a way that matters anymore doesn't mean you still shouldn't know when to hold your tongue .
"No one you'll ever meet until the day you die will ever be me again, Reborn."
Reborn's hand twitches before it relaxes around his drink. He lets go of it entirely, the air around their table turning lighter the second he does.
Even Aria's eyes on him turns lighter too, but that might just be his imagination.
This is the first thing you said I'm glad to hear.
Reborn has no interest in meeting someone like Luce again in any way, shape or form whatsoever. He holds no hope for it, the very opposite.
Why would he want to put himself through that a second time?
It's the very worst thing that could happen.
Aria reaches their table as Luce laughs. Reborn keeps her eyes on Aria, but he doesn't hear any of the words she says.
Is this what Luce's laugh used to sound like?
He already can't tell for certain.
Dino looks at him like he's the one who gave birth to him into the mafia and raised him within it accordingly. He looks at him as if he's the one who made it so he was born the only son of a Don too, making him the only heir who can now succeed him.
"I don't want to become the next Don!" he says every chance he gets. "I don't even want to be mafia to begin with!"
The conviction with which he says it every time is commendable. He actually means it, as if his clumsiness alone wouldn't do a quick work of getting him killed should he attempt to run away from the blood running through his veins.
As if they don't both know that should he really make such an attempt, he'd turn back in a heartbeat the moment the Cavallone family would find itself in trouble.
That's what family is, after all. Not all its members get born into it, but as long as you're raised within it, grow within it, live as a part of it, it also bounds you to it. You might not end up loving it or be grateful for it, you might resent it and want to break free from it, you might choose to stay by its side to the very end or use it as a stepping stone to reach greater heights, but whichever the case, the family makes you just as you make it.
When it comes to the Cavallone family, it could have only made Dino in such a way his family is the one thing he loves most in the world. To then love him back just as much? To love him first from the moment he was born?
That's half of Reborn's job already done right there.
After all, a decent boss is one who at least knows that the family must come first. A good one not only makes peace with the fact the family will always come first, but resolves themself to always put it first too no matter what.
Then there's the ideal boss who wouldn't have it any other way, who wouldn't let anyone make it otherwise, the family most of all.
It's amusing these type of bosses are the ones Reborn just keeps running into. The mafia being what it is, to most Don and Donne, the appeal of the position is, of course, the power that comes with it. If it means sacrificing the family members to make it long-lasting or grow it even further, they'd hardly lose sleep over it.
One would think that'd be more of Reborn's crowd, not that he'd actually ever give them the time of day, but here is yet again, facing another soft, bleeding heart.
"Is this the best you can do?"
Dino lies sprawled on the floor, struggling to catch his breath, looking like a sore, pathetic sight. His clothes are torn everywhere, dirty and bloody, bleeding wounds from claws and teeth alike everywhere on his body.
"Can't..." he barely manages to gasp out "...anymore..."
Reborn clicks his tongue. Really, kids these days. Can't they even hold their ground against a pack of wolves anymore?
He's not asking for much.
"Is this how you plan to handle your family's issues as the Tenth boss? By barely trying before giving up?"
Dino gives him a nasty glare before turning on his side, showing him his back.
Oh no, whatever Reborn shall do?
He can cry him a river.
He did run for his life and flailed around desperately whenever the wolves drew too close, but that's hardly him trying to actually do anything about them, is it?
Reborn kicks his shoulder, making him groan. "I'm the one who decide when we're done talking. You'll try again in ten minutes."
Dino whines, predictably, but he ignores him, choosing a nearby tree to sit against and hide from the sun.
Reborn will make a fine Don out of him without much trouble. If the love he has for his family isn't quite enough to make him want to take on the mantle to the best of his abilities, surely the precarious and dangerous situation the Cavallone are currently in will give him the last push he needs.
That's the other half of his job already done too, yet he can't help but indulge himself by letting Dino give his best shot at fighting back against the inevitable.
It's never boring to watch the binds that tie a family together at play.
Dino doesn't want to become the next Don, doesn't want to be mafia, but here he is, going through Reborn's training anyway. Here he is, a student at the mafia school his father sent him to. Here he is, with all the making of a great boss in all but resolve and practice.
He is mafia no matter what he says or thinks about it. That he's an heir too and has been brought up as such can only mean he's had to meet at least some of the expectations on him along the way. For his family's sake and the love he has for it.
"I didn't know you one to beat around the bush," Luce says.
Reborn sighs, tilting the brim of his fedora down to cover his eyes from the sunlight filtering through the branches and leaves. "I see you can't be bothered to even greet me first these days. How rude."
"Even you know what this all comes down to. It's duty that'll keep him on the only path he'll bear to walk on."
"Has he told you that?" His voice's mocking, but Luce's is only fond in return.
"You're silly, Reborn." She'd have laughed then if they were on friendlier terms, warm and soft like she'd done many times before. Reborn's breath hitches between his clenched teeth. "You only think duty is the most meaningless thing to give in to because you think it exists in a vacuum. That people only choose to hold onto it because there's nothing else they can hold onto to give meaning to their lives. So what if his duty is born out of his love for his family? It doesn't make it any less duty, does it?"
And she would know all about it, wouldn't she?
It grates his ears to hear.
It makes the weight of the pacifier against his chest even more unpleasant.
How does this conversation even concern him in any way?
Whichever the case, the likes of him are apparently more suited for sacrifice to begin with.
"How long... do we have to be like this?" Skull had asked at some point along Checker Face's explanations.
Already it felt like forever had passed since they were cursed, but they were still on top of the very mountain where it happened, and they had yet to live through an hour of the curse.
Skull sounded like it costed him to talk, out of breath, his voice so very frail.
The way they all held their breaths waiting for Checker Face's answer, the tears already glistening in Skull's eyes...
To this day, Reborn still doesn't know if any of them were truly holding on the hope of Checker Face saying what they wanted to hear.
"You know."
Viper lunged at Checker Face in fury, but the fresh weight of the curse, or maybe Checker Face himself put a clean stop to it. They landed hard on the floor, their harsh breathing filling the following silence.
"You... bastard...!" They struggled on all fours, a furious snarl deforming their features. "Why are you doing this?"
"It's what needs to be done for the sake of this world. This"—they, Reborn's sure they all heard loud and clear—"is a needed sacrifice that must be seen through."
"What the fuck do I care about the world?" Viper shouted. "What do you care about it?"
Then, Checker Face had talked about duty.
Luce had looked down for the first time since the light died down. She released a slow, deep breath, at the end of which a ghost of a bitter smile pulled at her lips.
Bitter, but steadfast. Maybe even understanding.
Reborn wanted to claw it right off of her face.
"You shouldn't speak ill of the dead," Luce says.
"That's cute. I wouldn't be nearly as nice if I was really going to."
"Look at me."
Reborn's jaws ticks. He loosens it again before tilting his fedora up and catching her eye.
Luce stands next to him, looking down at him, a serious expression on her face. Or maybe a lack of expression on it would be more accurate.
It's one of those times she wears the Sky pacifier around her neck.
Would it still have been around her neck should Reborn have looked at her the moment she appeared?
"Just because your duty only binds you to yourself, only binds you to your pride, doesn't make you any less bound to it in return. Will you lie to me and tell me there's anything in this world that would ever make you give up on it?"
Reborn has to scoff. "What would you know about the things worth giving up on duty for?"
"How would you know?" Reborn frowns, taken aback. "Has anyone ever asked me to give up on my duty? Have you?"
Unexpectedly, a rush of anger courses through Reborn. It burns hot in his chest, searing up his throat, and sits heavy and wretched on his tongue.
Has he?
Should he have had the presence of mind to do it all on his own?
He didn't know Luce one to throw the blame around on everyone but herself.
Luce doesn't avert her eyes from him, unfazed at his sudden mood shift, unless it's that she was expecting it.
They're as blue as they always were, as vast and deep as the ocean. So much depths to them, and none of them trying to hide from your gaze.
Luce's eyes had this way to pull you in, to make you drown in them. She never looked away from someone wishing to look into her eyes longer either, as if she was doing them a kindness.
Reborn hasn't a single memory of her eyes being guarded or closed off. They were always open, always a door to the vast and clear sea within, but all that was ever reflected off of them was your own reflection.
Still.
It always made her so very easy to love.
"You're quite an easy woman to despise. Have I ever told you that?" Luce smiles, her eyes taking on a darker shade as the sun shifts in the sky. "You're full of surprises though, I'll give you that. That wasn't very dutiful of you to say, was it?"
Luce tilts her head ever so slightly, her smile growing a little wider. Her eyes are sad. "Would you still have me be dutiful even now, Reborn? Must I, even now?"
"What a funny thing for you to say. I wasn't aware you knew how to be anything else but dutiful."
Luce's smile falls from her face. She straightens her head, lips pursing and her hands clenching into fists, but just then, Reborn can't see her face anymore.
He's still looking straight at it, with nothing to obscure his sight or her face, but it's like there's a glitch over it, and he just can't make it out.
Reborn's anger disappears as suddenly as it came to him, cooled down by the icy wave that washes over him. His stomach rolls violently, and it's like he'll throw up if he so much as keeps breathing.
Reborn doesn't know what hurt looks like on Luce's face.
He rests both of his hands on the floor, waiting for the world to shift back on its axis. He holds onto fallen leaves and dirt, the fact he can feel them proof enough this body is still his, and he waits to stop feeling like a stranger within it anyway even more than he usually does.
Nothing about this makes sense. How wouldn't he know what hurt looks like on her face?
Just a second ago, he'd have scoffed at the idea that Reborn wouldn't know what Luce's hurt looks like on her face.
Of course, he knows.
He should know.
But Luce is the same too, isn't she?
Reborn doesn't think duty to be something meaningless. He knows it to be something that not only must be earned to see the light of the day, but also be nurtured so it can last.
He simply thinks duty to be one of the most painfully selfish ways to go down, and why choose that path when you already decided to be selfish about it?
How can't Luce not know that about him?
Were they always so distant even while she was still alive?
Reborn stands before the world fully stops shifting beneath his feet. He doesn't look Luce's way as he walks back to Dino, and it's a relief she doesn't follow after him.
"Dino."
Dino defensively curls on himself like that'd be enough to escape his grasp. "Ugh, come on, Reborn. It can't already be ten minutes."
"Let's say you could walk the path you wanted, but the only path that'd guarantee the Cavallone's survival is the one where you become their Don. What would you do?"
"What?" He sits up, looking at him suspiciously. "All of a sudden?"
"What would you do?"
Dino takes a moment looking at him before turning serious too. "Does it have to be one or the other? Someone else can become the boss and keep the family safe."
"What would you do?"
"Or maybe the family can meet its end as long as everyone's still safe. Maybe it even should. What's so great about being mafia anyway?"
"What would—"
"Reborn!" It's a plea more than it's anger, and it hangs heavy in the tense air between them.
Dino grits his teeth hard, his tightly curled fists shaking. The anger in his eyes turns to resentment to looking torn, the tension growing too thick to keep breathing through it.
Just before it can reach its peak, Dino looks away.
As expected. That's the right answer a boss should give.
It wouldn't have been Reborn's answer, but that only helps to settle him down further.
Dino stands, pointedly not looking his way. "Let me try again."
"It hasn't been ten minutes yet."
"Will you please just let this one go, Reborn?" he says, and this time, his voice is all plea.
Ah.
It's also the only answer he could bear giving, indeed.
And of course, Reborn was sent to him to make sure it'll always be the only answer for him to give.
To think Reborn still forgets himself enough to point out others' wrongdoings. How laughable.
Like recognizes like for a reason.
Tsuna is another ballgame entirely. He's a civilian for one, which is plenty enough in and of itself. But to all the mafia families he could be the heir of on top of that, he just has to be the heir to the most powerful one in the world.
Even easier, right? Like taking candy from a baby.
"I don't want to be mafia!" he whines at him every chance he gets. "I want even less to be the boss of a mafia family, are you kidding me?"
Obviously, it doesn't stop the mafia to come into his life whatsoever.
Tsuna faces it head-on, failing to run away from it or to will it away by being scared and a coward about it. He fights it back to keep the friends he's made safe, pushes it back out of his average, civilian life like it's sacred ground.
He comes out on top every time.
The mafia only comes harder at him for it, and still, he has yet to so much as falter a single step back.
His friends stand right by his side, some Reborn chose for him first, others he chose for himself. Not that it matters when all of them are on their way to shine their brightest under Tsuna's own growing and shining light.
"I don't want to be mafia!" he keeps saying, still sounding like a child throwing a temper tantrum.
Yet here he stands in the exact same spot he's always stood, not any closer to become mafia the slightest bit compared to when Reborn first came in his life.
He's still the same in every way, down to the soft, bleeding heart beating in his chest he first met him with.
Maybe Reborn's heart picks up its pace a little whenever he's faced to the sheer amount of resolve within him. Maybe a chill runs down his spine when he tries to encompass the whole of it, and it just grows larger, larger, larger.
Tsuna will not become mafia, Reborn hears louder and louder every time.
Yet it only becomes more obvious every time in how many ways he would be so very good at it.
How fascinating.
"Do you love your friends, Tsuna?"
Tsuna glances at him, but quickly focuses back on the TV. "What? What's this about all of a sudden?"
They're playing video games, and just because Tsuna's losing like he always loses, doesn't mean he has to lose without first trying his best to win anyway.
"You don't?"
"Ha. Ha. You're so funny. Of course I like them." A blush spreads on his cheeks, and he keeps his eyes resolutely on the TV as Reborn looks at him.
Reborn rolls his eyes.
Teenagers.
"Then what if becoming Vongola Decimo was your only way to keep them safe? To keep them alive? To keep them by your side?"
Tsuna's character goes still, Tsuna holding the controller in his lap but not using it anymore. This time, it's Reborn who keeps looking at the TV despite feeling his eyes on him, still decreasing his character's health bar at his leisure.
"You don't know that."
"You can make an educated guess about it easily enough."
"So? It's still just a guess."
"What if it's the right one?"
"What about it?" Reborn would be lying if he said the levity with which he says it doesn't throw him off. He finally stops playing too, turning his head to look at him. "I'll just have to find another way to make it happen."
"What if there's no other way?"
Tsuna shrugs. "Then I guess I'll just have to make one. Right?"
Reborn blinks, can't help it.
Right?
Why is he asking him as if this is something Reborn taught him?
Reborn would remember it if he did.
"Reborn?" Reborn snaps out of his thoughts to Tsuna's narrowed and suspicious eyes. "Is this the good sign kind of smirk or the bad one?"
This wouldn't have been Reborn's answer, but now he knows it's Tsuna's, he can't imagine him saying anything else.
That's concerning. When did that even happen?
At the very least, he ought to keep being self-aware enough to be able to answer that question.
"Is there something like a good sign kind of smirk in your eyes? You're going to make me blush."
Before he can say anything, Reborn uses a last combo to kill off his character while still looking at him.
"Ah, Reborn!" Tsuna shouts, whipping his head to the TV. "Come on, that's cheating!"
Reborn chuckles. "Cry me a river. Do you want to call it a day, or do you want me to show you how you should play this game one more time?"
"Um, actually, Reborn..." Tsuna starts after a beat, his voice poised but hesitating.
He can't quite meet his eyes all of a sudden, looking sheepish and shy, yet thoughtful.
Reborn holds back a sigh. Here they go again.
What kind of existential crisis distinctly teenage-like will it be this time?
"You know, while we're talking about this... I've been wondering, but if. I really become Vongola Decimo... will you leave?"
The room goes silent except for the merry tune celebrating his win coming from the TV. Tsuna doesn't look like he hears it all, his eyes now steadily into his, barely allowing himself to blink.
"What are you saying, Tsuna?" His voice should be mocking, condescending, but Reborn can't tell what it actually sounds like. "Whether you really become Vongola Decimo or you really don't, there's no scenario in which I stay by your side forever."
Tsuna looks into his eyes another long beat.
And then, he looks reassured of all things, his shoulders relaxing.
"Why would you say it like that?"
"Why not?" Reborn asks even if he can't tell how he came off as.
"That's just what you think."
He says it so easily, like it's only a given.
Right, of course. His mistake. Why didn't he consider what the fourteen years old civilian boy thinks on the matter?
Reborn hears himself breaths out a laugh. "Tsuna, you—"
Tsuna tilts his head, still looking at him. His gaze's not boring into him anymore though, Reborn barely feeling its weight on him.
It feels more like he only keeps looking at him because Reborn has yet to look away.
Reborn's free to look into his eyes until he finds whatever he's looking for, is that it? As if it'd ever take all that long.
Tsuna's an open book, the shape of his very being always shining right within his eyes bright and clear, for better or worse. It's to the point it's a wonder he has such an inaccurate view of himself. Surely he's looked at himself in a mirror before.
Then again, it's hard to notice things nobody ever gave you reasons to think even exist.
One would think he'd be able to do it by now with how nearly and dearly he's reflected in the eyes of the many people now around him, but he doesn't even think to look into them, too busy being grateful they're willing to stay by his side.
Tsuna's eyes are the most straightforwards path to the very core of who he is, and maybe because of that, they're just as capable at both looking right through you and looking right into you.
Yet all that's ever reflected off of them is himself.
Oh. Tsuna won't make this easy for him, will he?
He's never had any intention to, not when he welcomed even Reborn in his home like it might as well have been his own too his entire life.
"Um..." Tsuna still holds his gaze, but he's back to his usual self, unsure and unassuming and making himself smaller than he has to. "We're not having a fight right now, are we?"
Reborn laughs. It tumbles out of his lips louder and louder, and he finds he doesn't want to do anything about it whatsoever.
Tsuna looks at him dumbfounded, and it only makes him laugh harder, brighter. It swells in his belly, rumbles in his chest, tickles its way up his throat, and out of his mouth it goes like it'll never stop.
Reborn laughs until his stomach aches, until tears gather at the corner of his eyes, and then keeps laughing.
It feels like his first real laugh since the coldest day of his life on top of a mountain what feels like a lifetime ago.
Reborn jumps out of his hammock, almost missing his landing with how heavy his body feels. It was his mistake to think he could catch on any sleep in his state. He should know better by now.
He drags his body to the balcony, every sway of his pacifier filling him with searing anger he doesn't have the energy to acknowledge.
The curse's been sinking even deeper in his bones lately. It does that every now and then, but this time, he can't tell for certain if it's really happening again, or if it's the time he spent in the future playing tricks on his mind.
To think Reborn has to live like this another ten years.
No. To think he had had to once, but now it never happened, who's to say how much longer he'll have to live like this?
Maybe more.
Hopefully less.
Reborn steps into the balcony, the chilly night air biting into his skin helping a little. He takes a deep breath of it before lying on his sunbed.
"Miss me?"
Reborn's temples pulse with pain. The last thing he needs right now is to feel like he's suffocating even more than he already is. "I'm afraid you've already run out of my patience. If I could, I'd strangle you with my bare hands right now to get rid of you for good."
"Strangulation and not a bullet to the head? How intimate." She laughs like they're having some inane, friendly conversation, leaning on the railing and looking up at the sky. "Of course, I'd let you."
Reborn's too tired to scoff. "Spare me. Would we even be here right now if you really were so boring and predictable?"
Luce can not look the part of a mafioso all she wants, but fact remains her and him both were made and shaped from the same world. Both of them cut from the same clothes, albeit from different fabrics.
"I won't stay long," she says, leaning away from the railing and looking at him.
"What do you want, Luce?"
It's one of those times she doesn't wear the Sky pacifier around her neck. It makes him want to be able to strangle her that little more.
"You're dying."
"Am I? I hadn't noticed."
"You're letting it happen."
If she was still smiling, Reborn would have lunged at her even knowing he'd go right through her.
Instead, he squeezes his eyes shut, griping the armrests so hard his arms shake, his jaw clenched so hard he might as well be grinding his teeth.
Reborn would do anything for a smoke right now.
He hasn't had one ever since the curse. He can still drink coffee, and made a point to try alcohol too before deciding the side effects weren't worth it. But a cigarette?
What kind of absurd, unnatural sight his infant body with a cigarette in its mouth would make?
Reborn doesn't know if even then, he'd be able to resist the temptation to tear himself apart through skin and muscles and bones until nothing's left of him.
The temptation is strong enough on a normal day for no other reason than the face Checker Face would make as a result. Reborn wouldn't be able to see it, but to know he would make one, to know it'd put him in a bind at the very least makes it plenty worth it in and of itself.
Eventually, Reborn has to open his eyes again. "I wasn't aware I had any control over it in any way. But do enlighten me."
"Reborn." Her face's solemn, her voice leaving no room for argument. "I forbid you to die even a second sooner than you'll have to."
It's Luce's voice saying Luce's words through and through, and for a moment lasting so long he almost comes to doubt which one is real, he's back at her side, keeping each other's company through the nights where either one or neither of them were able to find sleep.
Reborn's very being throbs in silent pain.
And then, just like that, all the tension in his body seeps away like it was never there to begin with.
"Oh, Luce," he breathes out, the kindest and warmest he's ever been to this Luce. "Darling, dearest." She lights up, crinkles at the corner of her eyes as she laughs at his flirty tone. "Maybe I will miss you for the rest of my life. Would that be enough for you to rest in peace, at long last?"
"Oh, Reborn," she says, crouching in front of him to be more at eye level. Reborn had forgotten this is how his name used to sound like in her mouth. "My dear knight in shining armor. Am I the one who has yet to find peace?"
Reborn works on the latest report he'll send to Nono in a rare moment where he's at his Namimori safehouse instead of at Tsuna's home. He chose to work on the kitchen table, sipping on hot, delicious espresso as he works on it.
Luce sits silently across from him, Reborn glancing at her every now and then to see if there's any change. She hasn't said a word ever since she appeared like she took a vow of silence, yet looks to be in a good mood, enough to smile at him whenever he looks at her.
"Miss me?" he says eventually.
She hums, teasing, but there isn't only playfulness in her voice when she speaks. "Do you think this is what it is, Reborn? That I've been the one missing you all along?"
"I'm quite hard to forget, as a matter of fact."
"Isn't it time yet?"
Reborn pauses in the middle of writing his next word. He then puts his pen to the side and grabs his drink instead.
She can be his guest if she really wants them to do this.
"Everything should only happen when you're ready for it, is that it?"
Luce lowers her gaze to his report and stares. "Do you disagree?"
Reborn slams a hand on top of it and keeps it there, dropping all pretenses.
So she does want them to do this?
Reborn's more than happy to indulge her.
"You have yet to say even half of the things I want to hear from you."
"You have yet to ask. You didn't either while I was still alive."
Her words hit him like a blow, and he clenches his jaw, both his hands tensing. He puts his drink back down on the table, not trusting himself with it anymore.
"Did you know?" Reborn tastes his heart on his tongue before even having to wait for her answer. "While we were walking up that mountain? Maybe even long before that."
A glint of something appears in her eyes he has to force himself to keep looking into, the slash of a blade cutting her face in a mockery of a smile. "And if I did?" Maybe Reborn should spit his heart right out of his mouth so he can properly hear what she has to say. "Wouldn't we still be right here either way, just as we are now?"
"That's thinking me a much better man than I will ever be. But you were always guilty of that, weren't you?"
Luce's face slowly turns back to something looking more human, looking so tired down to her bones, Reborn almost feels for her. "And if I did?" she asks again. "What right would you have to judge me for it?"
Reborn scoffs, harsh and cutting and incredulous. "You must be joking."
"You should have asked me before if you wanted the right to judge me for it. But now?" Her gaze drops to his report again, Reborn crumpling it further in his hand, and further still even when she looks up at him again. "You've taken your own lamb by his hand to lead him to his slaughter, haven't you?"
Ha.
The things he has to hear from this woman just because he liked her a little while she was still breathing.
Reborn swings his arm to the side, papers flying in the air, his Sun flames burning them to ashes. He swiftly stands on his feet with his drink in hand, sending it flying right at Luce's face almost in the same moment.
It goes right through her head, his cup shattering against the wall, its pieces clattering all over the kitchen. Coffee splashes on the wall and on the nearby furniture, staining them, then slides down their respective surfaces until it reaches the floor one drop at a time.
Drip, as Luce sits there, not a hair out of place.
Drip.
Drip.
"You're not real."
Luce smiles, fond and indulgent like Reborn wouldn't have torn her apart right then and there if he could. "Really, Reborn. You're so silly. We both already knew that from the beginning."
He did.
Reborn's next breath feels less searing, the light from his pacifier dying down.
That's right, of course she's not real. She's never been real.
The only Luce that was ever real is the one who died, and the only real memories he has of her are from when she was still alive.
What a relief.
Reborn slowly loosens his fists before running a hand through his hair. He holds his next breath, counting to three before he releases it slowly.
He smirks. "You seem to be misunderstanding something. I'm the one who'll decide when it will be time, just as I decided to let you hang around to begin with."
Luce's smile doesn't falter, but the light in her eyes dim.
Maybe if Reborn keeps looking at her, her smile will slip off of her face too. And maybe if he keeps looking at her even then, this time, he'll be able to see what hurt looks like on her face.
Reborn jumps from the table and walks out of the kitchen.
And here he planned to go bother Tsuna as soon as he was back home from school.
Tomorrow will have to do.
At least he deigns to lead him by his hand.