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As much as Katsuki hates staying up late because he wakes up angrier than usual, he loves late-night talks.
Specifically, his late-night talks with Izuku.
They weren't really something that they agreed on, but after the war most of the class had really bad nightmares about their own traumatic experiences. For Izuku, it was seeing Katsuki’s dead body. And for Katsuki, it was his own death.
The first time they spent a night together they didn't even sleep in the same room. Izuku just knocked on Katsuki's door and they talked for an hour about some random topic until Izuku calmed down and was able to go to sleep again.
(As Izuku closes the door, Katsuki feels the itch to speak. Stay. I need you. But he holds himself back and lets the cold settle once again in his room. His body goes to sleep but his mind and soul keep thinking and yearning for the boy with green curls.)
The second time, Izuku stayed a little longer. Izuku was too sleepy to keep talking and Katsuki looked out the glass doors, admiring the scenery bathed in moonlight.
His thoughts are broken when he feels something on his hand. His mind realizes before his body does. He turns his head around a second later. And he watches as Izuku traces the lines of Katsuki's hand. His own hand.
“Your hands are so pretty, Kacchan…”
(Katsuki scoffs a “It’s too late even for you, you damn nerd. Go to sleep.” while he looks up to Izuku's face that's painted with the slightest tint of a pink-ish red.
As Izuku sleepily walks out the door, Katsuki lets the warmth wash over him. He feels his face blushing and he realizes he isn't cold anymore. That night Katsuki falls asleep with a sleepy but genuine smile on his face.)
The third time, Izuku is more awake and doesn't seem to be prone to doing what he did last time again. Katsuki doesn't get sad about that (He does.), at least he won't have to deal with the nonsense the nerd does while sleepy (He craves Izuku's touch more than anything.)
Katsuki expects a normal talk, a back-and-forth of random topics.
What he doesn't expect is for Izuku to lay his head on Katsuki's shoulder. It takes a second for the blonde to realize the situation he's in and he fights back the blush that could cover his cheeks if he thinks too much about it. He takes deep breaths and is about to continue the conversation when Izuku giggles out a “You’re still ticklish, Kacchan?” as he looks up at Katsuki.
“...Mhm.” is the response he manages to get out. He could explode if he said anything else.
(He eventually gets used to the warmth on his shoulder and the way the dark curls brush against his neck every so often. He mourns the feeling as he falls asleep that night.
He dreams of him and Izuku watching the sunset in the same position they were in just 10 minutes ago. Shoulder to shoulder, then Izuku lays his head on Katsuki's shoulder.
And a second before his alarm makes a sound, he feels Izuku's hand grab his, intertwining their fingers.
He wakes up with his face covered in that same tint of red that haunts his memories.)
The fourth time was an accident. It wasn't at night either.
Katsuki had missed a couple classes because of an appointment with his cardiologist (Monthly checks and all that, he's tired of them.), so Izuku had gone to his room to lend him his notes of what he missed.
Izuku sat down on Katsuki's bed and grabbed a pillow to put in between his chest and thighs. “You’re staying?” Katsuki turns away from the notes and looks directly at Izuku's face, raising an eyebrow. And that was his first mistake that evening.
Katsuki's face softens the moment he takes in the scene. Izuku looks angelic with the sun’s bright dying light hitting his face. It accentuates his green eyes, letting Katsuki see all the shades of light and dark green, all the tiny pretty imperfections in them. It paints his lips a bit more orange where it hits and it darkens the red color on the other side. Izuku glows. Katsuki would say his heart skips a beat but he hears it perfectly in his ears, steady and loud. He's sure he's blushing right now by how Izuku giggles and Oh, isn't he the prettiest thing ever.
“Just in case you need help with anything.” Izuku answers with a pretty smile on his face.
Katsuki’s body finally reacts, he scoffs and turns away in a poor attempt at hiding the adoration overflowing from his heart and painting his face red (Maybe it's a good thing that he hasn't cut his hair and it covers his face when he looks down.), “Fine. Just don't be annoying.”
“Don’t worry, Kacchan, I won't.”
He takes a deep breath. He needs to do his homework.
(After about an hour, Izuku is oddly quiet. He usually shared videos or tweets he found every so often with Katsuki, but he hasn't made a sound in the last 15 minutes. Katsuki finishes the last problem and turns around to find Izuku with a peaceful look on his face, asleep.
Katsuki rewards himself that day, lets love take over his mind and admires Izuku's beauty for a while.
That night, after Izuku is gone, Katsuki falls asleep feeling happy. He dreams of waking up in a different bedroom and he turns around to find Izuku sleeping right beside him, sunlight on his face.
He admires the love of his life until he wakes up.)
The fifth time is different. This time it's Katsuki who needs Izuku.
He tries his best to ground himself, he really does. Touches cold things, reminds himself of the things he knows are true, walks around his room, he does everything he can. But the uneasy feeling never leaves. He can't breathe, the air feels too heavy. He feels too heavy.
“You’re closer to Izuku Midoriya than anyone else.” keeps playing on his head, a never ending echo of the worst hour of his life.
His body moves on his own and he ends up on Izuku's door before he realizes. He barely has the strength to knock, but a couple seconds after he does Izuku opens the door and looks at Katsuki like he's seen a ghost.
He probably looks horrible right now. Lost eyes, slouched posture, messy hair. He's at his most vulnerable state right now, but he trusts Izuku to see him at his worst moment.
He doesn't look up at Izuku when he sighs, he keeps his head down. “Come in.” Katsuki does and sits on the edge of the bed.
Izuku closes the door and joins the blonde. “Same nightmare?” Katsuki nods, it's barely noticeable, but Izuku has always been good at noticing small details.
“Give me your hand.” is what breaks Katsuki out of his trance. He looks up and sees Izuku in a similar state as Katsuki. Messy, wild curls and sleepy eyes, but he has that confident spark on his eyes and tone.
“Huh..?”
“I said, give me your hand.” Izuku's tone changes, it remains deep, his true tone of voice showing but it turns into something nicer, sweeter.
Katsuki hesitates for a second, but the moment his hand is given to Izuku, the hero snatches it and places it on his own chest. “What…?” And then he realizes what Izuku is doing.
He's letting Katsuki feel his heartbeat.
Izuku reaches his hand on Katsuki's chest and starts feeling his heartbeat too. “Both of us are alive. We're here, together, alive.”
Katsuki feels overwhelmed, he doesn't know why. He feels safe, so incredibly safe. He shouldn't feel tears in his eyes welling up.
When the first tears start falling Izuku whispers in the sweetest voice “Everything is okay, Kacchan.” and he squeezes Katsuki's hand just a little bit tighter, reassuring him of their own existence. “I’m here.”
He feels Izuku's hand move from his chest to his shoulder and a second later, he pushes Katsuki forward into a hug.
It takes a second to realize everything around him. The sweet fragrance on Izuku's hair, the way his face half-hides on his neck, how the freckled skin is so soft. One of Izuku's hands is rubbing his back slowly and the other keeps Katsuki's hand on his chest. How he feels Izuku's heartbeat.
And it takes another second for Katsuki to break.
(He cries until there's nothing left in him and he pushes back carefully to wipe his nose with his arm. His tears wet Izuku's shirt and a part of his skin. He looks up at Izuku, expecting him to be disgusted or even mad, but when he looks up he sees nothing but adoration.
“Do you feel better?” Katsuki nods, realizing that Izuku's hand is no longer holding his own once it starts to cool down again. He misses the warmth. “Do you think you can go to sleep now?” Katsuki thinks for a second. He can go, but he doesn't want to; still, he nods as to not keep Izuku up any longer. “Okay.”
Katsuki gets up from the bed, still wiping his cheeks and nose, and is about to leave when Izuku says “Goodnight, Kacchan.”
He turns around and falls in love again at the sight of Izuku. He's the prettiest thing to have ever existed.
Katsuki smiles “Goodnight, ‘Zuku.”
And with that same smile and warm feeling on his heart, he falls asleep peacefully.
He dreams of laying on Izuku's chest, hearing his heartbeat as he falls asleep.)
The sixth time changes everything.
The weather forecast announces a thunderstorm. Katsuki doesn't like the rain, it makes the air feel heavier before it starts and when it is raining everything feels depressing. He really hates the rain.
2-A’s afternoon classes are suspended. They would usually train despite the weather, but apparently it's gonna be a really bad one, so they decide to play it safe (Aizawa’s words, not Katsuki's.)
Him and Izuku had a training session scheduled after classes that day, but since they also can't do that anymore, they end up watching a movie in Katsuki's room. They were sitting on his bed, pillow against the bed frame so it didn't hurt their backs and a blanket that was barely covering their legs. Katsuki's laptop was on his desk facing their direction.
It was a random All Might movie he watched as a kid, and it was a good movie, but he couldn't focus on it at that exact moment because Izuku, who was so deep in his excitement, didn't notice how his hand was resting on Katsuki's thigh.
It was driving Katsuki insane. Izuku must've thought he was grabbing the blanket or bed sheet because his hand hadn't moved since they were 10 minutes into the movie, and they were 40 minutes in now!
Finally, at the 50 minute mark, a plot twist happened and Izuku was so shocked his hand flew to cover his mouth. Katsuki sighed in relief. The torture was over.
They continued watching the movie in peace and Katsuki was finally able to enjoy it.
Eventually, the movie reached its final scene. The battle was over and a part of the town had suffered most of the damage, it showed everyone slowly cleaning the streets and repairing the houses and buildings that had been damaged.
Katsuki felt a bit moved by the whole scene, specifically because of the music, it had been the best part of the movie.
When the credits start rolling, the thunderstorm makes its presence clear outside along with the rain and wind. Right, Katsuki forgot it was raining. But at least he didn't feel too weird like he usually did, he felt happy.
The blonde sat on his knees and stretched himself to the other side of the bed and closed the movie and checked the time on the bottom of the screen, 10:30pm, tomorrow was Saturday so he could sleep a little bit later “Which movie do you wanna watch now?” Katsuki asked without turning around, he continued scrolling through the other hero movies the site offered. He felt Izuku shift a little bit but he still remained silent. “Izuku?” He turned around to see Izuku asleep, he looked so peaceful.
Katsuki felt the opposite of that, he didn't know what to do. Izuku looked so cute and he couldn't wake him up, but he had to, right? Izuku probably hadn't meant to fall asleep here. He could try to carry Izuku to his room, but he risked embarrassing himself if anybody saw him doing that. He could just wake Izuku up and tell him to go to sleep in his room, but that'd be too rude.
“Kacchan” Izuku whispered, barely audible, “Kacchan, don't go…” he continued, his hand seeming to be trying to reach out for something, or someone.
Katsuki laid back, pushing himself up with one elbow and whispered back “I’m here, Izuku.” as he reached his hand out to Izuku's, who opened his eyes at the contact.
“Kacchan… I'm so glad you're here…” And Izuku's remaining hand reached out to Katsuki's face, holding him gently and brushing his thumb along the scar. “Please stay.”
Katsuki felt his heart breaking, and it wasn't a bad thing, the love he had for Izuku was just overflowing. He had dreamed of this moment so many times before and he thought he was gonna be ready for when it happened, but he wasn't, nothing could've prepared him for this.
“Okay” Katsuki tried to hide the excitement in his voice, but his face lit up with a smile. He laid back completely and Izuku snuggled closer to him. His head rubbing against Katsuki's shoulder and the scarred hand staying on his chest, right where his heart was. Katsuki couldn't help but place his own hand on top of Izuku's.
“Thank you, Kacchan…” Izuku whispered on the brink of sleep, Katsuki rubbed his left hand on Izuku's hair, playing with the messy green curls. And just when he thought Izuku had fallen asleep, the words “I love you.” left his lips so easily.
Katsuki could explode with happiness right now. He loved Izuku and Izuku loved him.
For now he shifted on his side facing Izuku, repositioned the asleep boy's arm so they hugged each other and he hid his face in the curls he had dreamed and thought of so many times before.
“I love you too, Izuku. I always will”, said Katsuki with a smile on his face and a heart full of love. Izuku may not have heard him saying it back, but Katsuki would make sure he heard it every day for the rest of his life.
It was just them. Katsuki and Izuku. Kacchan and Deku. Like it was always meant to be.
(Katsuki didn't dream of anything that night, everything he ever wanted was right in his arms.)