Work Text:
Cheng Xiaoshi leans casually against the counter, the sleeve of his button-down shirt slightly rolled up, revealing the lean muscle of his forearms. A playful smile dances on his lips as he effortlessly engages the customer in conversation, his eyes sparkling warmly beneath the soft overhead lights.
The customer laughs, eyes bright with intrigue, clearly charmed by Cheng Xiaoshi's easy manner and effortless charm. Cheng Xiaoshi welcomes the flirtation; there's something undeniably pleasant about the warmth of admiration in someone's gaze.
Suddenly, her eyes flicker downward, catching sight of the slender silver band glinting subtly on Cheng Xiaoshi’s ring finger. She pauses, curiosity brightening her features as she gestures toward his hand.
"Oh?" She tilts her head, a mischievous smile forming. "I didn’t realize you were married."
Cheng Xiaoshi follows her gaze, his expression shifting briefly to surprise before he chuckles softly, a faint flush coloring his cheeks. “Ah, no—not married," he replies, voice warm and teasing.
The customer arches a skeptical brow, amusement evident in her smirk. "It certainly looks like a wedding band to me."
With a conspiratorial grin, Cheng Xiaoshi leans in slightly, his voice lowering to a confidential tone. "It’s actually a friendship ring."
"A friendship ring?" She raises an eyebrow, intrigued yet skeptical.
"Exactly," Cheng Xiaoshi affirms, slipping his hands into his pockets casually, the motion relaxed but somehow emphasizing the ring even more. "A matching set, with my roommate—my best friend."
Her lips curve into a teasing smile, clearly entertained by his explanation. "Sounds special. Must be a pretty good friend."
"The best," Cheng Xiaoshi replies, warmth threading through his voice as his eyes soften, briefly lost in thought. Then, catching himself, he quickly flashes another charming smile. "We’ve been through a lot together."
Cheng Xiaoshi hums thoughtfully, a gentle smile playing at the corners of his lips as he remembers the day. “Lu Guang made me promise we'd stay friends forever. He took it pretty seriously, actually—organized an entire celebration for it, complete with invitations, food, and even decorations. Practically turned it into a whole event.”
The customer’s eyes widen with amusement, her lips curling into a teasing smirk. “A celebration? You mean, like… a wedding?”
Cheng Xiaoshi huffs a small laugh, rolling his eyes at the playful insinuation. “No, no—it wasn't anything like a wedding. Just a casual event, you know, a friendly gathering.”
Her smirk deepens, eyes glittering mischievously. “Did you happen to wear a suit to this 'friendly gathering'?”
Caught off guard, Cheng Xiaoshi opens his mouth, words momentarily stuck in his throat as he remembers the formal attire he'd grudgingly worn. He quickly shakes his head, cheeks flushing slightly. “That’s—besides the point entirely.”
She leans in closer across the counter, laughter sparkling in her gaze. “It really sounds like a wedding to me.”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans dramatically, rubbing the back of his neck to hide his embarrassment. “You’re definitely reading way too much into this.”
She chuckles lightly, leaning back again but maintaining her teasing gaze. “Alright, alright. Just a friendship ring. Just a casual celebration.”
Cheng Xiaoshi mutters quietly under his breath, face burning with warmth as he imagines Lu Guang’s inevitable exasperation if he were here listening to this exchange. Somehow, he can already hear Lu Guang’s familiar sigh echoing softly in his head, clear and unmistakably fond.
The customer’s smirk remains firmly in place, eyes sparkling with playful mischief as she watches Cheng Xiaoshi squirm uncomfortably under her relentless teasing. Cheng Xiaoshi shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other, clearly regretting ever mentioning the friendship ring. But the customer isn't about to let him off the hook yet.
“So,” she drawls slowly, drumming her fingers gently against the counter, “since you two share a flat, does that mean you also… well, you know, share a bed?”
Cheng Xiaoshi chokes on thin air, his eyes widening comically as an intense blush races across his cheeks and down his neck. “Wha—! No! I mean—” He stammers helplessly, hands gesturing frantically in an attempt to form a coherent denial. “That’s not—I—we don't—”
The customer merely raises a skeptical eyebrow, clearly amused and patiently awaiting his explanation.
Cheng Xiaoshi groans loudly, dragging a hand dramatically down his flushed face as he finally mutters, voice strained, “We’re just friends.”
He can already anticipate her next comment, so before she can jump in, he blurts out defensively, “…Friends with benefits.”
The words tumble out before he can stop himself, and Cheng Xiaoshi immediately regrets them. With a mortified grimace, he claps his hand over his face, wishing desperately that he could rewind time by just a few seconds.
The customer’s delighted laughter rings through the air, utterly amused by his clear distress. “Ah-ha! So you are sleeping together!”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans again, shaking his head vigorously, embarrassment thick in his voice. “No, that's not—I mean, yes, technically, but it's not—it's just casual! Completely casual! No feelings involved, just—” Realizing he's digging himself deeper into a hole, Cheng Xiaoshi clamps his mouth shut and looks utterly defeated.
Resting her chin elegantly in her hand, the customer smiles knowingly, clearly skeptical. “No feelings, huh?”
Cheng Xiaoshi crosses his arms tightly, huffing indignantly, though his flushed cheeks betray him. “No feelings,” he insists weakly, pointedly averting his gaze to avoid her penetrating stare.
She hums thoughtfully, eyes narrowing playfully. “So, if Lu Guang suddenly decided to move out tomorrow and started dating someone else, you'd be completely okay with that?”
Cheng Xiaoshi freezes, breath hitching sharply as an unguarded emotion flashes across his face—brief but unmistakably vulnerable.
The customer notices immediately, lips curling into a victorious smirk. “Right. No feelings at all.”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans loudly one final time, dramatically burying his flushed face in his hands, utterly overwhelmed by embarrassment. “I genuinely hate this conversation.”
The customer chuckles warmly, eyes gleaming with amusement. “No, you don’t. You're secretly enjoying it.”
Just as Cheng Xiaoshi is beginning to regain some composure, a sudden blur of golden fur darts into the room, tiny paws skidding clumsily across the polished floor. The small kitten, with its soft, honey-colored coat and inquisitive bright eyes, comes to an abrupt halt at Cheng Xiaoshi's feet, mewing urgently for attention.
Instantly, Cheng Xiaoshi kneels, scooping the tiny creature into his arms with practiced tenderness, his previously flustered expression melting into gentle affection. “Oh, hey Peanut,” he murmurs fondly, scratching beneath the kitten's chin. “Lu Guang and I adopted him together—on our friendship anniversary, actually.”
The customer stares at him incredulously for a heartbeat before erupting into peals of laughter.
Cheng Xiaoshi blinks rapidly, confusion etched into his features. “What's so funny?”
Wiping away a tear of laughter, she shakes her head in amused disbelief. “Nothing, nothing. It’s just—you realize how married you sound, right?”
Cheng Xiaoshi frowns defensively. “We’re definitely not married.”
Leaning forward against the counter, her expression becomes playfully smug as she counts on her fingers. “Let's recap, shall we? You both have matching rings,” she lifts one finger, “held a formal celebration for your relationship,” a second finger, “share an apartment—and presumably a room,” she adds a third, voice teasingly conspiratorial, “and you even adopted a kitten together on your anniversary.” She folds her arms triumphantly. “Sounds like marriage to me.”
Cheng Xiaoshi’s mouth opens and closes silently, his face turning steadily redder as the implications hit him. He clutches Peanut slightly tighter, prompting the kitten to let out a small, protesting mew. Quickly adjusting his grip, Cheng Xiaoshi stammers defensively, “W-We’re friends! Just friends! Really good friends, but still—”
She raises an eyebrow knowingly. “Friends with benefits, wasn’t it?”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans again in exasperation, giving her a pleading look. “Why are you like this?”
She shrugs casually, utterly unrepentant. “I’m just pointing out the obvious. You seem to be a married man in deep, deep denial.”
With a defeated sigh, Cheng Xiaoshi buries his burning face into Peanut’s soft fur, voice muffled but resigned. “Lu Guang is absolutely going to kill me.”
Just as Cheng Xiaoshi feels he's about to spontaneously combust from sheer embarrassment, the shop door swings open smoothly, ringing a gentle bell that signals new arrivals. Lu Guang steps in, poised and composed as always, dressed impeccably with his usual air of quiet authority. Behind him, Qiao Ling follows closely, animatedly chatting away, clearly absorbed in whatever she's saying.
The customer's eyes flicker immediately towards Lu Guang, quickly landing on his left hand. Her expression lights up triumphantly when she spots the matching silver ring glinting under the shop’s warm, inviting lights.
Crossing her arms smugly, she raises an eyebrow at Cheng Xiaoshi, the challenge clear and unspoken in her amused gaze.
Feeling cornered, Cheng Xiaoshi panics and calls out desperately, hands waving around frantically, “Lu Guang! Please, tell her we're not married!”
Lu Guang, barely glancing up from the clipboard he’s meticulously reviewing, finally looks over. His gaze slowly shifts from Cheng Xiaoshi to the grinning customer, then back again. His brows knit slightly in mild confusion, already appearing exhausted by whatever chaos he's walked into.
Then, in the most straightforward, matter-of-fact tone imaginable, Lu Guang simply states, “But we are married.”
Absolute silence envelops the room.
Cheng Xiaoshi freezes, his brain short-circuiting spectacularly. “What—what did you just say?!”
The customer breaks into delighted laughter, slapping the countertop lightly. “I knew it!”
Qiao Ling immediately groans, smacking her palm firmly against her forehead with exaggerated frustration. “Cheng Xiaoshi, are you serious right now? We all literally attended your wedding!”
Cheng Xiaoshi gapes helplessly, mouth opening and closing like a bewildered goldfish. “Wedding? What wedding?”
Qiao Ling rolls her eyes dramatically, clearly exasperated by having to spell this out. “You know, the wedding with the ceremony, the rings, the heartfelt vows, and the marriage license you both signed?”
Cheng Xiaoshi stares at her in absolute horror, his voice rising several pitches as panic sets in. “That wasn’t—! That wasn’t a wedding! It was—it was just a friendship ceremony!”
Lu Guang tilts his head, perfectly calm and entirely unbothered, clipboard tucked neatly under one arm. “Xiaoshi,” he begins gently but firmly, “we literally signed legal documents.”
Cheng Xiaoshi feels his brain overheating, his voice climbing into a near-shriek of disbelief. “WHAT LEGAL DOCUMENTS?!”
Qiao Ling throws her hands up dramatically, losing all patience. “YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE!”
Cheng Xiaoshi clutches the counter with white-knuckled intensity, his vision spinning as the reality of the situation crashes down upon him. "No, no, no, this can't be—” he gasps desperately, turning to Lu Guang with wide, pleading eyes. “Lu Guang. Buddy. Pal. Please tell me she's messing with me."
Lu Guang meets his frantic gaze with an expression of utter calm, bordering on boredom. "She's not."
The customer, practically doubled over with laughter, wipes tears of amusement from her eyes. “Oh my god! Did you really get married without realizing it?!”
Qiao Ling groans loudly, massaging her temples as if attempting to relieve a growing headache. “I genuinely can't believe I have to witness this insanity.”
Cheng Xiaoshi's face is aflame with embarrassment, his pulse racing as he tries desperately to reason his way out of this. “But—but we're just friends with benefits!” he protests weakly, as though this declaration somehow invalidates the overwhelming evidence.
Lu Guang simply nods, the slightest hint of amusement flickering in his eyes. "Exactly. Married friends with benefits."
A strangled noise escapes Cheng Xiaoshi's throat, and he buries his face in his hands dramatically. “I—I seriously need to lie down.”
Qiao Ling pats him on the shoulder sympathetically, though clearly fighting back laughter. “Too late, Xiaoshi. Welcome to married life.”
The customer beams brightly, playfully leaning over the counter. “So… since I helped you realize you're actually married, does that qualify me for a discount?”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans miserably into his palms. “I genuinely despise today.”
Lu Guang, composed and unflappable, gently pats Cheng Xiaoshi on the back, his tone both reassuring and amused. “Relax, husband. You'll get used to it eventually.”
Qiao Ling bursts into renewed laughter, clutching her stomach as tears of mirth stream down her cheeks. “Oh my god, Cheng Xiaoshi! How in the world did you not realize you were married?!”
Still gripping the counter like a lifeline, Cheng Xiaoshi stares at nothing in particular, eyes wide with shock. “I—I thought it was just a friendship ceremony!” he insists, whirling around to face Lu Guang accusingly. “You never said it was an actual wedding!”
Lu Guang crosses his arms serenely, eyebrow raised with mild incredulity. “Xiaoshi, we exchanged vows, signed marriage licenses, and celebrated with all our friends. How could you not know?”
Qiao Ling cackles uncontrollably, struggling to catch her breath. “You literally stood there and said ‘I do’! Did you seriously think that was just a cute little friendship ritual?!”
Cheng Xiaoshi sputters helplessly, running frantic fingers through his hair. “I—I thought it was symbolic! Like, a really strong friendship promise!”
The customer, entirely absorbed in the spectacle, grins mischievously. “Let me get this straight—you wore matching rings, had a full-on ceremony, invited everyone you know, and legally signed a marriage license, yet somehow thought you weren't married?”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans louder, head falling forward dramatically. “Okay, fine! Maybe I wasn't exactly paying attention to all the legal stuff!”
Qiao Ling theatrically wipes away another tear, sighing melodramatically. “This is genuinely the most entertaining moment of my life.”
Lu Guang releases a patient sigh, shaking his head gently. “Honestly, why did I ever expect anything else?”
Cheng Xiaoshi swivels to him, eyes wild with disbelief. “Lu Guang. How long have we actually been legally married?”
Lu Guang casually checks his watch before looking back up with mild amusement. “About a year and a half now.”
Cheng Xiaoshi nearly chokes on air, his voice rising to a panicked squeak. “A YEAR AND A HALF?! AND YOU NEVER ONCE THOUGHT TO BRING IT UP?!”
Lu Guang simply shrugs, an amused smile curving at the corners of his mouth. “I genuinely thought you already knew. Besides, you've been acting exactly like my husband all this time anyway, so does it really change anything?”
Qiao Ling doubles over with laughter, clutching her stomach as tears stream down her face. “Oh my god, he’s absolutely right! You’ve been married and acting like the perfect married couple without even realizing it!”
The customer nods eagerly, amusement dancing in her eyes. “Honestly? That explains everything perfectly.”
Cheng Xiaoshi feels the ground beneath him shift as reality finally sinks in. His gaze darts frantically from Lu Guang's calm face, to the matching silver band on his own finger, to Peanut—purring innocently in his arms—the kitten they'd lovingly adopted together on their anniversary. Suddenly, everything snaps sharply into focus, and the revelation hits him like a tidal wave.
“Oh my god,” he breathes, voice barely audible, a mixture of awe and panic. “I’m actually married.”
Lu Guang pats Cheng Xiaoshi’s back reassuringly, his tone soothing yet lightly teasing. “Congratulations. You finally caught up.”
Qiao Ling wipes her tears of mirth, shaking her head with gleeful disbelief. “This might be your most legendary moment of cluelessness yet, Xiaoshi.”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans pitifully, his head dropping to rest against the cool surface of the counter, feeling utterly overwhelmed.
Lu Guang hums softly, a teasing note slipping into his usually composed voice. “Took you long enough. You even enjoyed our honeymoon.”
Cheng Xiaoshi's head shoots up immediately, eyes wide with horror, staring at Lu Guang as if he's grown a second head.
Qiao Ling and the customer explode into uncontrollable laughter.
The customer leans forward eagerly, barely containing her laughter. “Hold on—honeymoon? Now I have to know everything. Cheng Xiaoshi, seriously, how did you not realize you were on your honeymoon?”
Face buried deeply in his hands, Cheng Xiaoshi mumbles helplessly, voice strained, “I thought it was just an exceptionally nice vacation!”
Lu Guang releases a gentle, exasperated sigh. “Xiaoshi, we went to an exclusive, romantic resort. We stayed in the honeymoon suite. They literally left us champagne and flowers with a card that said ‘congratulations’ on the bed.”
Qiao Ling bursts into fresh peals of laughter, practically choking as she gasps, “You even said it was ‘the most romantic trip you’d ever had!’ How did you miss that?”
The customer leans in eagerly, her smile wide and mischievous. “Okay, I need specifics. What exactly did you two do during this 'totally-not-honeymoon' vacation?”
Cheng Xiaoshi looks as if he desperately wants to vanish into thin air, his voice quiet and hesitant, “We—well, we did normal vacation activities… You know, typical stuff…”
Lu Guang calmly clarifies, as if discussing the weather, “We stayed at a private resort in a luxurious honeymoon suite, enjoyed candlelit dinners on the beach, and even had couple’s massages.”
Cheng Xiaoshi’s head snaps up in utter mortification. Qiao Ling nearly collapses from laughter. “Couple’s massages?! Cheng Xiaoshi, that didn’t tip you off at all?”
Throwing his hands up defensively, Cheng Xiaoshi stammers wildly, “I—I don't know! It just seemed like Lu Guang was feeling extra generous!”
Still trembling with laughter, the customer can barely get out, “Please tell me there were rose petals scattered everywhere.”
With perfect calmness, Lu Guang nods. “There were.”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans, utterly defeated, his voice cracking in desperation. “WHY DIDN’T YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING?!”
Lu Guang merely shrugs, a fond smile curving his lips as he looks at Cheng Xiaoshi. “Because you seemed genuinely happy.”
The customer giggles, eyes gleaming with pure delight. “Okay, so let me make sure I've got this right—you had an actual wedding, went on a literal honeymoon, you’ve been living together ever since, adopted an adorable kitten, and somehow, you only figured out you were married today?”
Cheng Xiaoshi groans dramatically, forehead meeting the countertop with a dull thunk. “I am officially the stupidest person alive.”
Qiao Ling, unable to stop grinning, sympathetically pats his shoulder. “Well, at least the mystery’s solved now. So, Cheng Xiaoshi, how does it feel to be nearly two years into your marriage?”
Cheng Xiaoshi emits a muffled, despairing whine into the countertop. “I really, really need to sit down.”
Lu Guang, completely unruffled, raises an eyebrow in mild amusement. “You already are sitting down.”
The customer laughs so hard she wipes tears from her eyes, sighing dramatically. “This might genuinely be the best shopping experience I've ever had.”
As Cheng Xiaoshi continues to wallow dramatically against the counter, Lu Guang quietly steps closer, an amused sigh escaping him. With gentle fingertips, he reaches down and carefully tilts Cheng Xiaoshi's face upward.
Before Cheng Xiaoshi has a chance to fully process what's happening, Lu Guang leans in, his lips brushing softly against Cheng Xiaoshi's in a brief yet tender kiss.
Cheng Xiaoshi freezes instantly, his mind utterly blank, heart pounding wildly in his chest as complete silence envelops the room.
Pulling away slowly, Lu Guang offers a small, satisfied smile, his voice calm and affectionate. “This has truly been the best friendship marriage ever.”
The customer gasps theatrically, hands flying to her mouth in delighted shock. Qiao Ling erupts into her loudest cackle yet, nearly collapsing from the force of her laughter.
Face now burning a vivid shade of scarlet, Cheng Xiaoshi gapes openly, floundering helplessly for words. “I—you—WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!”
Lu Guang tilts his head innocently, eyes twinkling mischievously. “That was a kiss. Husbands tend to do that occasionally.”
The customer practically wheezes with laughter, clutching her sides. “Oh my god, you two are absolutely amazing.”
Qiao Ling gives Cheng Xiaoshi a hearty slap on the back, grinning from ear to ear. “Congratulations, Xiaoshi! You've finally realized you're happily married!”
Still completely overwhelmed, Cheng Xiaoshi blinks dazedly at Lu Guang, his head spinning as he whispers weakly, “I—I think I need to lie down.”
Lu Guang smirks playfully, his voice light and teasing. “Of course. Our bed is right upstairs, waiting for you.”
Qiao Ling completely loses it again, doubling over as the customer dissolves into laughter, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Groaning miserably into his hands, Cheng Xiaoshi mutters despairingly, “I hate this day so much.”
Leaning in closely, Lu Guang whispers softly, a gentle, private reassurance only Cheng Xiaoshi can hear, “No, you don't.”