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“You were amazing!” Cheng Xiaoshi pulled Qiao Ling into a bone crushing hug as soon as she got off the ice. “You put on such a great show. You placed for sure.”
“Let go, let go!” She pushed him away. “We’ll see. I messed up in a few places, and I almost fell on the axel. But I think it might have been just enough.” She grabbed his hand and allowed him to lead her to the benches to await her score.
“Did you get any good pictures?” She asked once they were seated. Cheng Xiaoshi nodded, a huge grin on his face. He pulled his camera around to show her. She looked so majestic, and so fierce. “Wow, these are beautiful! You really caught my good side.”
He beamed at the praise, then allowed her to grip his hand tightly as the judges announced her score.
“Third place, not bad. If I do well in the long program, I’ll certainly be moving on.” She was still holding onto his hand as they walked out. “Did you want to stay and watch any others? Get some more pictures, or something?”
“Ah...maybe? I–” He lost all words when he caught a glimpse of a white-haired skater doing slow, graceful stretches as he warmed up. His mouth dropped open as he watched the most beautiful person he had ever seen. “Who the fuck is that?”
Qiao Ling turned. “You mean Lu Guang? He’s like...the best skater in the world. He already has a World Championship under his belt. We should at least stay and watch him. I need to get changed first.”
Cheng Xiaoshi was barely listening, completely entranced by a mere warmup sequence. “Lu Guang, huh?” He lifted his camera to snap a few pics.
-
It felt strange to be back in China after living abroad. Canada felt like an entirely different world. Not good, not bad, simply different. He moved across the ice slowly, avoiding his fellow competitors as he methodically stretched and warmed up his body. This was his first performance on Chinese soil in two years, there was a lot of pressure. Not that it mattered. He was a professional, he would perform to his highest capabilities no matter where he was.
Though he had to admit, it was a bit grating to hear his name whispered all around him. The people in the crowd. The others on the ice. Even the judges. All of them had the same tone. Shock. Reverence.
Lu Guang is back.
He ran his fingers through his hair and built speed. If they were all focused on him, he may as well give them something to talk about. His skates glided smoothly over the ice.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Leg swing.
Hit the ice.
Push off.
He lands to a few gasps and scattered claps. The other skaters around him won’t meet his gaze. Consternation written all over their faces. If a single jump could rattle them so easily, this would be simple.
The voice over the loudspeaker asked them to leave the ice, it was time for the first performance. He grabbed his guards and left the ice.
-
Cheng Xiaoshi hadn’t spent much time watching men’s figure skating before. Usually he stayed for Qiao Ling, then left as soon as she was done. Watching them now, he was impressed, but his mind was stuck on that other guy. Lu Guang was what she said his name was. Watching him warm up was incredible. It was like he owned the ice. He had never seen anyone move like that.
“I checked the program, Lu Guang is up next.” He nodded, fiddling with his camera.
“What do you know about the guy? Have you ever talked to him? Is he nice?”
“Slow down. I’ve talked to him briefly about skating, but I don’t know him. He’s really serious about what he does.” She shrugged, then smirked. “Why? You interested in him?”
“What?! No!” Maybe.
“Oh my god you totally are! Mr. Stoic has totally gotten you all hot and bothered.” She giggled. “Well lucky for you, I know when he trains, and it’s at the same rink I go to. So you’ll be able to catch him, maybe even ask him out.”
“Qiao Ling!” A heat was rising to his face. He was going to protest further, but the lights dimmed as Lu Guang was announced. Cheng Xiaoshi gasped, and ran to the press section. He wasn’t going to miss a second of this.
-
The lights dimmed, Lu Guang glided out into the middle of the ice and took his starting position. The piano music started, and the crowd grew silent. Lu Guang was adept at tuning them out anyway. He skated around, building up his speed with an unmatched grace. As he threw himself into his first jump, he allowed himself to smile. This was freedom.
He landed to a roar of applause.
Each movement blended into the other, and as the song picked up speed, he let himself get lost in the performance. There were no nerves, it was just him and the ice. As easy as breathing. He finished with a signature spin, right as the music stopped, then took a bow.
He wasn’t one to linger too long on the revelry. He bowed once more, then skated off to wait for his scores. There was no one there to wait with him, but he was used to being alone, it never bothered him.
A few minutes later, his scores were announced, putting him in a far ahead first. He nodded, giving the cameras a small smile.
-
Holy shit.
Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t breathe that entire performance. “Does...is...is he always that...beautiful? I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.” Especially not another man. He had to meet him. To talk to him. “So uh...when can I find him at the rink?”
-
Though he was far ahead in first place after the short program, Lu Guang was not allowed to rest. He had to practice, keep himself sharp, keep himself ready for the long program in a few days. That was why he rented the rink for a long, private skate. He could go through his routine, work it all out, and not worry about spies.
At least that was what he had thought.
He came out of a jump, and was startled to see someone watching him with a camera. He skated to the wall, and put on his best scowl. “This is a private skate time. You need to leave.”
“Oh. Um...Sorry. I’m...” He held up his camera. “Just taking pictures? That sounds weird. I’m a photographer, and I saw your show last night. I was wondering if I could show you the pictures I took?” That didn’t sound much better. “Sorry, let me start over. I’m Cheng Xiaoshi. I really liked your performance last night.
Cheng Xiaoshi? That name sounded familiar. “You’re not a figure skater.”
“No, no! I’m a hockey player. Well, I’m not just a hockey player. But I do play hockey. Oh...also my adoptive sister, Qiao Ling, she’s a figure skater!”
Lu Guang nodded. He was familiar with Qiao Ling. They had talked briefly. “I’m trying to practice. What do you want?” It came off harsher than he meant. He could feel no malice coming from Cheng Xiaoshi, in fact it was quite the opposite. He had a genuine feeling to him that Lu Guang had never felt before.
“Honestly? I just wanted to watch you skate more. And I was hoping to talk to you. Maybe get to know you? I would love to take you to get lunch or something when you’re finished practicing...” Maybe that was too far. “If you wanted to, of course...”
Lu Guang studied Cheng Xiaoshi from across the room. Did he know that Lu Guang was gay? That was a fact that they kept tightly underwraps, but things like that had a way of getting passed around. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You may watch. No pictures, and I’ll think about the meal, alright?”
“Thank you! I won’t get in your way, I promise.”
Lu Guang smiled, in spite of himself, and skated back out to the middle of the ice to run through everything once more.
Cheng Xiaoshi leaned on the wall, watching Lu Guang skate around. There was a gracefulness, an ease, even with the most simplest of movements. He wondered what it felt like. Lu Guang went through a series of jumps and spins, finally coming to a stop in front of Cheng Xiaoshi again. There was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead, and his breathing was labored.
“So you’re a photographer and a hockey player. How does that work?” Lu Guang skated to the wall and grabbed the towel that was hanging over the side. He wiped his forehead. “Does hockey not take up all of your time?”
“I love hockey, don’t get me wrong. It’s exhilarating. And being on the ice feels like freedom, but there’s just something about photography that I can’t explain. It’s like...freezing a moment in time. With photography, I feel like a time traveler. Does that make sense?”
Lu Guang shook his head. “No. Not at all.” There was no mocking in his voice. He wanted to get it, he wanted to understand this man he felt drawn to. “Why don’t you quit hockey and pursue photography full time?”
“Hockey...” He frowned, seeming to choose his words carefully, “Well...Hockey is like family, you know? Connection. Like with Qiao Ling.” Lu Guang nodded for him to continue. “Her family took me in when I lost my parents. And her dad was the one who really got me started in hockey. Qiao Ling would go to the rink to practice her figure skating, and I would practice my hockey. We cheered each other on. Plus being on a team is family, and I like that.”
“I’m sorry about your loss. But I understand your desire for family. That is a very noble thing.” He set the towel down, and skated another lap. As his muscle memory took over, he considered Cheng Xiaoshi. What was it that was so captivating? He landed his rotation of jumps, then stopped to catch his breath, looking up to see Cheng Xiaoshi watching him.
“You’re...really something. The way you move out there, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”
“Like you said, the ice is freedom. It’s breath, and heartbeat. I’m only alive when I’m on a blade’s edge.”
“Do you ever get to skate for fun anymore?” He raised his camera, zooming in on Lu Guang’s face. There was a sadness to his eyes, a frown playing at the corners of his mouth. Then he quickly lowered it, forgetting for a moment that Lu Guang had said no pictures.
“Of course not. I don’t know the last time that I did get to skate for fun.” Lu Guang turned away, not wanting the camera trained on him, even for a second. He skated in a wide arc, bending backwards as he did, before rising once more. “I’m not sure I even know what it means.”
“Would you ever want to find out? If you had the time, of course.”
“That depends on who is asking me to go skating for fun with them. My free time is very limited, and I’d hate to waste it on someone whose company I didn’t enjoy.”
Cheng Xiaoshi took a deep breath. “What if I was asking you?” He hoped that Lu Guang was far enough away that he couldn’t see the red that was rising to his cheeks.
“Then...I would say yes.”
“Okay. Meet me in town with your skates at six o’clock. Dress warm.” A grin broke out across his face. “I’ll see you there!”
“Alright. See you there.” What had he just gotten himself into?
-
Cheng Xiaoshi was on cloud nine, he was practically skipping through the house before the...was it a date? He skidded to a stop, his face heating up. Oh God. Was this a date? Did Lu Guang want it to be a date? Did he just think they were hanging out? Oh no, what had he gotten himself into? Could he cancel? No, he didn’t have Lu Guang’s number. And besides–
“There’s steam coming out of your ears,” Qiao Ling giggled, tapping him on the shoulder. “What are you thinking so hard about?” She had her hands on her hips, staring at him intently.
“Well I...uh...Maybe asked Lu Guang out on a date? But I don’t know if he thinks it’s a date. Would he even want to go out on a date? Is he even gay? A guy like that wouldn’t like a guy like me. So I was going to cancel, but I didn’t have his number, so I–” Qiao Ling covered his mouth.
“Woah. Slow down. First of all, I’m pretty sure that Lu Guang is gay, or at least into men in some capacity. There were at least rumors about it, so take that with a grain of salt. Next, he agreed to go out with you? What do you have planned? You’re not wearing that are you?”
He looked down at his outfit. A black jacket over a yellow hoodie. “We’re going ice skating. Just, like, fun ice skating. What’s wrong with my outfit?” She just rolled her eyes and dragged him into his bedroom to change.
-
Meanwhile, Lu Guang was having a similar, albeit quieter crisis. He stood in front of his mirror, trying to figure out just how formal of a date this date was. He knew Cheng Xiaoshi was into men. He was very open about his bisexuality. (Yes, Lu Guang had looked into him as soon as he got home) But was this a date? He didn’t want to be presumptuous, and assume that the friendly bisexual man was asking him on a date.
But he hoped it was a date.
Taking a deep breath, he put on a nice two-toned button up shirt. Cheng Xiaoshi had told him to dress warm, so he put on a thick, blue corduroy sweater and a plush scarf. He grabbed his skates and left the apartment.
He had been given too much direction, only to come to town at 6. Checking his watch, he was a little bit early. But it was okay, there was plenty to look at. The town was putting on a little Winter Festival to celebrate the skating competitions. There were food stalls, and even an ice skating rink set up in the middle of the park. He assumed this was where Cheng Xiaoshi was taking them.
“Lu Guang! You made it!” His heart skipped a beat when he heard Cheng Xiaoshi running up behind him. He was similarly dressed in a very lovely dark brown sweater. He grinned. “I’m so glad to see you. Are you hungry? We can get some of the festival food, or we can just walk around.”
Lu Guang smiled at his enthusiasm. “I’m open to anything, but I thought we were going to skate?”
“Oho, so eager! Of course you are, you are the skating guy. Well, if you want to just jump right in, I’m not going to say no. But I was hoping we could...Well actually...” He laughed nervously. “Nevermind! Let’s put our skates on and get out there.”
He wondered what Cheng Xiaoshi had been about to ask, but didn’t want to press the issue. He followed the other man over to the benches and put his skates on. They were his practice pair, but still looked in much better shape than Cheng Xiaoshi’s. “What are those monstrosities that you’re putting on your feet?”
This earned him a laugh in return. The boots of the skates were taped together. “I’ve had these guys for years. They’re my fun skates. I can’t bear to get rid of them. Old money-saving habits die hard, and I don’t like to get rid of anything until I absolutely have to.” He stood and offered his hand to Lu Guang. “Shall we?”
Lu Guang took his hand and they carefully walked out to the rink. There were a few people skating around–mostly young families with their children. But no one paid them any mind as they moved together out onto the ice. Lu Guang didn’t want to let go of his hand, and decided to hold onto it for as long as Cheng Xiaoshi did.
“I had no real plan out here, just...wanted you to be able to feel that freedom without it being attached to a competition.” He also didn’t want to let go of the hand. “I don’t know if that’s boring for you, or not, but I–”
“It’s not boring. It’s actually...perfect.” He squeezed Cheng Xiaoshi’s hand. “Just make sure you can keep up.”
“Keep up?! I’m the fastest skater on my team!” They set off across the ice, hand in hand, laughing like children. Enjoying the feeling of freedom, just for the fun of it.
They skated around, talking and joking for hours. Finally it was time for the Festival to close. They had been holding hands the entire time. They only let go to put their shoes back on. Each of them sported two flushed cheeks, red from a sudden shy realization of how they had spent their night. “So...You have your performance tomorrow.”
Lu Guang nodded. “I do. I hope you’ll be there.”
“Of course! I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And when you take home the gold, I’ll be the one cheering the loudest.”
“I believe you. Well, this has been...” He searched for the right word. “The most perfect evening. Thank you, Cheng Xiaoshi.”
“Thank you too! I guess we should probably head home, huh? You gotta get your rest.”
They both stood, neither wanting to be the first to say goodbye. Lu Guang reached out and took Cheng Xiaoshi’s hands once more, squeezing them. “You know, I never get to skate with anyone. It felt...right. To skate with you.”
“Yeah. Felt like breathing. Lu Guang, I...” He sighed. “Can we skate together again?” Idiot. That wasn’t what he wanted to ask, but how cringe was it to say ‘I want to kiss you’?
“Of course.” He leaned in and kissed Cheng Xiaoshi’s cheek. “Goodnight.” He gave their hands one last squeeze, then turned to leave.
Wait.
No.
Wait!
That...
Cheng Xiaoshi reached out and grabbed his arm, spinning him around and gave him a proper kiss. His heart was threatening to beat out of his chest, but this also felt right.
Like breathing.