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“…is… is anybody else coming?”
Second mouth pulled into a frown. Green’s voice was so much quieter, probably because he could hear the strain and soreness in it, but it was so different than the usual boasts and intense volume he’d grown accustomed to. The grasshopper also held a noticeable slouch to him, almost hunched over and had a slight sway on his feet.
“They’re waiting back home,” the bee stated, eyes trained on Green. He didn’t like seeing him so awkward. It felt wrong.
Green was looking everywhere but at him. He was eyeing the hospital he had finally left, before his eyes drifted to the leaf wrappings that carried his medication. He wasn’t entirely sure why he needed it. He didn’t feel great, but he’s recovered from worse without medicinal help.
“Nobody’s mad at you, you know,” Second said as they walked.
Green’s antennae twitched as his head tilted to Second. “…what?” It came out like a whisper.
He tried to closely examine Second’s body language. To see if he was telling the truth or if he was telling him what he wanted to hear. His expression was tight and difficult to read, his antennae were downward, but his fur was smooth rather than spiked. He couldn’t read him, even when before, he felt like he could read his friends like a book. It felt like he forgot the language. He looked away before Second could spot him staring.
“I mean it.”
There was a quiet, tired scoff from Green as he folded his arms. His eyes now stuck to the dirt they walked on. He felt something warm begin to clasp around a hand, and before he could pull it away, he found himself unwilling to. It felt… so nice. His entire body felt so tense from the bee’s hand clasped his, uncomfortable and ready to protect himself, and yet he couldn’t tear it away. With all the grace of a broken puppet, he let his fingers intertwine with the others.
“We’ve all made our mistakes, Green. I know you remember that,” Second tried again, his hold tightening around Green’s hand for a moment.
A fleeting moment. Green’s expression darkened. One of his free hands tightened into a fist. “None as bad or stupid as mine.”
“Green.” The aforementioned grasshopper winced. “Nobody thinks that!”
“When Red and Yellow hurt you all, it was literally beyond their control. I had no excuse. I was just being a jerk to be a jerk.”
Second looked unimpressed. He knew there was more to it than that, but he didn’t push it. The two continued to walk through the tunnel with the only sounds being the heavy footsteps of the Deadlanders above them, and their own quiet footsteps below.
“Are you still mad at Purple?”
Green’s antennae flicked as he looked over. He didn’t expect that. “No… no, of course not,” he shook his head as he answered, immediately regretting the movement. He winced as he placed a hand on the bandage on his head. Stupid crack.
“Then why would we be mad at you? Purple was a jerk, both before and during King. And he wasn't even being controlled or possessed.”
Green opened his mouth to argue, but the more he thought about it, the more he failed to find anything to say. He didn’t entirely believe it, there was still a nagging feeling that it was different somehow.
The two walked in silence for the rest of the tunnel. It still felt so surreal to be back with them after being in the hospital for what felt like forever. Everything was still so sore and with every step he took he could feel that familiar exhaustion creeping back in.
By the time they exited out the tunnel, his entire body felt heavy and he was leaning on Second a lot more than he realized. He couldn’t help but be a little frustrated as they staggered slowly to the camp. He spent what felt like a damn moon in that hospital doing nothing but sleeping and he’s still tired.
“How you feeling?” Second asked, slowing his pace so Green could lean on him a little easier without tripping.
“…tired… again,” he muttered, sticking his tongue out a bit almost childishly. “…n’ a little hungry, but I’d rather sleep.”
Second squinted a bit at the little. His eyes glanced over Green again, and his arms weren’t doing the thing where they clawed at his stomach so he assumed it was normal. “Did the nurse give you any meds before you left?”
Green sluggishly nodded.
Second didn’t say anything. He kept supporting Green as they followed the trail until the camp came into view. Before they even walked in, Second could smell the dinner Blue had prepared. It smelled amazing, flavorful and rich, and after the long walk Second could not be more excited. Green seemed to smell it too, judging by the way his antennae perked up and he began to shift a bit.
“GREEN!”
They didn’t make it a single step in before Green got assaulted.
Second stepped back to let the others properly ambush the grasshopper with the group hug, and he couldn’t miss the way Green flinched and tensed. Thankfully, the reaction was only brief before he melted into the hug, even if he didn’t return it. He simply closed his eyes as he leaned on them, soaking in the warmth he missed so much.
They were all loud and talking a lot, all over each other, so Green couldn’t make out what they were saying. But amidst the warmth he could feel something else. He shifted a bit in the hug, cracking his eyes open reluctantly.
“…are you crying…?”
There were a few sniffles as Blue chuckled. Pulling away from the hug, she wiped her face. Her expression was so difficult to read. Green didn’t want to think about that, so he shut his eyes again and leaned on Yellow’s chest. The fluff around her neck was so soft and warm.
“You’re crying too,” she said. It was balancing on the line between accusing and playful. He couldn’t tell which he was.
“…no I’m not…” he tiredly mumbled.
“You’re literally getting tears on my fur,” Yellow chuckled.
“Oh…” Green thought about pulling away, but his arms were unwilling. He tried wiping his eyes against his shoulder. It wasn’t very effective. “..sorry.”
“Don’t be. How about we eat dinner instead? I made your favorites.”
Green laid in bed, cold and a little miserable. He felt so empty, and he couldn’t place why. His mind was a slog of fog and he felt like something was missing, and in place of it was so much guilt and doubt.
He felt so stupid. He couldn’t help but be angry and even hate himself for everything he pulled. He hated himself while doing it, and it wasn’t even enough to stop him.
Sighing, he rolled onto his side. It’s been a while since he’s been in his own bed. A moon at least. He missed it so much and yet it felt barely any different than the beds at the inn.
Something’s missing, his mind unhelpfully reminded him. He wasn’t sure what. He’s home. It’s over. His friends aren’t mad at him, even if it feels like they are, and he even got a home cooked meal. One of his favorites. By definition, things should be great. He wasn’t sure what was wrong. Not leaving his bed, he curled in and hugged himself.
He sat there for a while. He was exhausted, yet unable to sleep. He was stuck between awake and asleep, just spacing out without much thought.
“You alright..?”
Green opened his eyes upon hearing Second’s voice. He wasn’t expecting Second to come check on him. He wanted to sit up and see him, but he knew his body was too heavy and tired. After doing nothing in a hospital for so long, that walk took so much out of him.
Oh, Second was still waiting for an answer. After too long of a wait, Green shifted a bit and slurred together a weak answer. “…I dunno…” it was an honest answer, something that he felt was becoming more and more rare from himself.
He couldn’t see Second’s expression, but he could feel the footsteps as he got closer. Suddenly he felt a lot colder. His body itched.
“It’s alright if you’re still not okay. What happened was pretty bad.”
For them. Not for him. It’s what he meant to say, but what slipped out of his mouth was entirely different. “…please don’t leave.” it came out slurred and ugly. He tightened his hold on himself out of surprise, he didn’t even mean to say that.
There was a painfully long moment of silence. One that made Green want to claw into himself for being so fucking stupid. He had no idea why he said that. The last thing he should be doing is begging them to stay after the bullshit he pul—
“Is it alright if I lie down with you?”
“…what?” Green heard him. He wasn’t sure if he heard him right though. It caught him off guard.
Despite the confusion, he felt a weight join him on the bed and when he looked over Second was right there. His first instinct was to pull away, but that warmth from earlier was so intoxicating that he found himself wrapping his arms around second and burning his head into the fluff around his neck.
Second held him back, tightly, and for some reason Green wanted to cry.
“…’m sorry for being such a jerk,” he said with a voice that shook. He meant it. He really did. He regretted it so fucking much and wanted nothing more than to make it right.
Second ran his hands in circles on Green’s wings, and for whatever reason that just made the grasshopper choke back a sob. He tried to cover it by burying his face deeper in the fur.
“It’s okay,” Second reminded him, still rubbing those circles that made Green cling even more. “One bad stretch isn’t going to ruin anything. We love you. I love you.”
Shutting his eyes tightly, Green curled onto Second. He didn’t even know how to respond. How to take it. Before it all felt so natural, it’s like he’s forgotten how to be around them. It is frustrating, embarrassing. He can’t tell if anyone feels the same way he does, or worse, but he doesn’t want to think about that.
He tries to tell himself Second wouldn’t do this if he didn’t care. He shuts his eyes and keeps his head wedged into Second’s shoulder, buried in the fur, with his arms clinging to the bee as if he’d leave the moment he let go. Second continued comforting him, even when the tears stopped, even when Green’s sniffling and breaths turned into quiet snoring.
Second didn’t let go, only sighing a breath of relief. He’s just glad he finally has Green back. Not that locust, not that influencer, just… their Green. And he isn’t letting go again.