Work Text:
[From: Sybil]
Uh.
GW’s boyfriend crashed his bike into a tree?????????????????
[To: Sybil]
What.
[From Sybil:]
Yeah. He's on the way to GBU right now. Got a pic of the crash site tho. His bike is toast.
*
BREAKING: ALEX HAMILTON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL AFTER BIKE FIGHT WITH TREE
Alexander Hamilton, policy director for Senator George Washington (D-VA) came to a sudden arboreal stop on his morning commute. Translation: he crashed his bike into a tree.
Hamilton was rushed to GBU Hospital this morning. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you feel about Washington’s policy director/attack dog) Hamilton’s injuries are minor.
The same can't be said for his bike, which is toast.
Don't worry, the tree is just fine.
*
PantsOffDanceOffPatriot
Looks like the environmental lobby has had it with Washington’s milquetoast policy.
ItsGoodToBeTheKing
I for one am *shocked* that a Senate employee rides an Italian bike.
PantsOffDanceOffPatriot
I for one am *shocked* that he has the ability to ride a bike most days, honestly.
Guest
Shoutout to the tree tho.
ItsGoodToBeTheKing
That tree is a Real American Hero. Pity he was wearing a helmet.
DaddysLittlePrincess
Oh you just know that Washington makes him wear one.
(Rumor has it that Mr. Washington rushed from his office to be by his “policy directors” side.)
Guest
Idk wouldn't that be Eliza Schuyler’s perogative?
DaddysLittlePrincess
Trust me, there's only room for Washington at Alexander’s bedside. ;)))))))
PantsOffDanceOffPatriot
I didn't realize they had wifi at the strip club.
[To: GW]
How's Alex doing.
More importantly, does he have his phone.
[From: GW]
He's alright. Biggest concern is a head injury.
Should I take his phone?
[To: GW]
Please. Jefferson is in my comments section and I don't need a shitstorm right now.
Tell him that Jefferson won't have Internet at Fort Leavenworth.
[From: GW]
I'll see what I can do.
[To: GW]
And send Eliza over if you can
*
UPDATE: ELIZA SCHUYLER SEEN AT GBU HOSPITAL
Eliza Schuyler, daughter of the Secretary of Defense, and main squeeze of Alexander Hamilton, was seen rushing to GBU Hospital this afternoon, after Hamilton’s unfortunate altercation with a tree. She didn't speak with our cameras, but sources tell us that Alex is expected to make a full recovery, and should be back in the saddle soon.
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