Archive of Our Own ^beta

Obi-Wan watched how the light of the room illuminated Cody’s handsome face, his warm taint almost looked golden in the light. His dark brown eyes were flitting over the paper in his hand, his tongue instinctively flicked over his plump lips to keep them wet.
He was a picture of pure perfection to the Jedi, even though Cody was just doing his paperwork.

Not for the first time Obi-Wan wondered, why they were together, why Cody had chosen him when the Jedi had nothing to give to his Commander.

Obi-Wan was a Jedi, he was even part of the Jedi Council, his whole live had been evolving around the Jedi Code, the red head had followed the rules no matter what.
Attachment is forbidden, this was what he had been taught to believe.

W hen he had been younger he ´d never had trouble with following this rule, not understanding why so many others around him struggled with it.
But when he had seen Cody for the first time, Obi-Wan had fallen for him head over heels, his world had been turned upside down with just one glance at the clone.

O bi-Wan had tried to suppress his feelings for Cody to follow the Jedi Code, but his feelings for the other man only grew stronger, the red head having grown attached to him. And then one day he had given in to his feelings.

R ight now Obi-Wan was already bending the Jedi Code with his relationship, the red head often feeling guilty about this yet he was happier then ever, when he was together with Cody.
Secretly the Jedi wanted so many more things for the two of them, selfish thoughts standing in stark contrast to the Jedi Code.

Obi-Wan wanted to tell Cody he loved him without the seconds thoughts about the Code, he wanted to promise Cody a future together, he wanted to be able to talk about marriage with his cyare and maybe even marry.

B ut he couldn’t, because he was a Jedi and had sworn to live by the Code. And he couldn’t just choose between Cody and the Jedi Order.
In another li f e, in which he was more brave and less dutiful , Obi-Wan would leave the Order to be with his beloved Cody, so that they could build a future together.

He wondered what their futures would look like in th at li fe.
Cody would be able to leave the military, and they could settle somewhere quiet and beautiful like Naboo or Mandalore.
I n this other life Obi-Wan and Cody would be both just civilians, able to do anything they wanted. No military or Jedi Council to restrict their freedom.

In this other life the red head would have the courage to ask Cody to marry him…

B ut this other perfect life seemed to far away, it seemed impossible to reach, because Obi-Wan was Obi-Wan and Cody was Cody. The two of them always put their job, their duties first, the relationship only in second place.
When they had started dating, both of them had agreed that their duty was the first priority, but the red head really wished it wouldn´t be that way.

He knew it was against everything the Jedi Order stood for, he was too much attached to Cody, but Obi-Wan was tired of always putting work first, always making his cyare end up in second place.
In another life Cody would always be his priority, he would always come first.

A warm gentle voice ripped Obi-Wan out of his thoughts: “ What’s on your mind? I can practically hear you thinking.”
“ Nothing of importance , dear.”, the Jedi smiled at the clone, who had put the paper he had been working on away.

“If that would be true, you wouldn’t make that face.”, Cody retorted.
“I am not making a face!”, the red head tried to deny it.
“You do.”, the clone chuckled amused.

“So cyare, what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”
“I just thought about us...”, Obi-Wan admitted, a bit bashful about his day dreams.
“Want to tell me about it?”, the other one asked, but in a none pressing manner.
“Not now, not yet.”, the red head answered quietly. There was no use in dwelling on those wishful thoughts, which were merely dreams.
“You can always tell me, whenever you feel ready.”

I n another life Obi-Wan may h ad told everything what was on his mind, but not in this life. Because he was a coward.

“Shot wound, he’s bleeding profusely!”, Splint shouted, pressing more and more gauze against Cody’s chest.
Obi-Wan was hovering next to the medic, watching in horror, as more and more blood was welling out of the wound, colouring the sheets in red.
The clone had been injured during the battle, while he had used his body to shield Obi-Wan.

“Cody, dear, stay with us!”, the Jedi begged, his hand squeezing the hand of his Commander, “Please Cody!”
The eyes of his cyare were hazy and half lidded, having trouble to focus on anything.
“You have to fight, Cody.”, Obi-Wan whispered, tears in his eyes as he watched two more medics approaching, working hastily on the Commander.

C ody’s lips moved, like he was trying to say something, but his voice was t o o quiet , his words drowned out in the sounds of the medbay.
Obi-Wan moved closer to Cody’s head trying to catch what he was saying: “ What is it my dear?”
“I… love… you…”, the clone’s voice was nothing more than a whisper, “Always… ”

“I love you too, Cody.”, Obi-Wan pressed a kiss to his head, while gently squeezing his hand with his own.
“Wish… we could… have been…”, Cody started, but then his eyes closed and his voice stopped, his body going utterly still.
“Cody…? Cody!”, Obi-Wan now cried, tears spilling over his cheeks.

A loud beeping alarm sou nd filled the air, Splint calling: “He is flat lining !”
“General, you have to go outside!”, another voice shouted, hands dragging him away from his cyare.

O bi-Wan had no idea how long he sat there outside the medbay, his mind circling around Cody.
Would he make it? The thought of losing Cody, was enough to make him feel bodily sick, his heart heavy.

He had never told his cyare, how much he really meant to him. He had never told him, that he wanted to spend the rest of his days with Cody, growing old together, having a life together. Obi-Wan had never told him these things, as they would never be possible, as they always had just been daydreams about another life.

W hat would the Jedi give right now to tell Cody these things, he would give anything for just another chance.

S uddenly the door opened and Splint entered, looking extremely tired but there was a small smile on his face: “Cody is alive. We’ve been able to stabilize him and stop the bleeding.”
Tears of joy joined the tears, which already had been running down the Jedi’s face: “ Can I see him?”
“ Of course. He might not be conscious yet, but if you keep it down, you can visit him.”

O bi-Wan whispered a thank you, then he made his way over to Cody’s cot. His cyare looked terribly pale, but he was alive and that was all that mattered.

“I am so sorry, Cody. The shot had been aimed for me, but you saved me.”, Obi-Wan whispered, “You always seem to save me, cyare. Before you came into my life, it was boring, dull and grey, but you brought happiness and colour into it. You are my life, Cody.”

Obi-Wan took a shaky breath: “ It’s true. I’ ve always been to o shy to tell you, too afraid of breaking even more rules of the Jedi Code, because I’ve been attached to you from the moment we met. I foolishly chose the Jedi Code, my duty over you. And I am deeply sorry for it. You deserve so much, cyare, you deserve the world. And I was too afraid to give you what you need, what you deserve.”

“But I won’t hesitate any more, Cody. You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I love you more than anything. I don’t care if I will get expelled from the Order for this, but I don’t just want to think about what might be in another life. We only have this one, cyare. I’m sorry it needed you’re life in danger, to make me see the truth. But now I can see it crystal clear.”

“I want to grow old with you Cody, I want to spend my every minute with you. I want to marry you, cyare, because I belong to you.”, Obi-Wan pressed a kiss against Cody’s lips and to his great shock and surprise the clone kissed him back.

“Cody?”, the red head whispered, blue eyes meeting brown ones, “How long have you’ve been awake?”
“For a while.”, the clone smiled, “You really meant what you said?”
“Yes, I do.”, Obi-Wan nodded resolutely.
“Maybe I should get injured more often.”, Cody joked slightly.
“Don’t you dare.”

A grin was playing over Cody’s features: “Is that a way to talk to your future riduur?“
„ Cody, does that mean…”, the red head started, but was cut off by a kiss to the lips.
“Yes, mesh’la, We are going to marry .”, Cody beamed and then kissed Obi-Wan passionately.