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Ice Cream

Summary:

"Where are you going?"
"Either to commit a felony or get ice cream, I'll decide on the way."
It's girls night at Hawke's but it get interrupted, at least there is ice cream to make it better.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Hawke was enjoying a quiet night in with Isabela, Merril, and Aveline. Girls’ night, they had declared. No fights, no boys, no drama, just good food, drinks, and chats.

That was all well and good until they were interrupted by said boys, standing at the door requesting Hawke's aid. Hawke sighed, girls’ night at least somewhat ruined. But she is never one to turn down her friends and thus went to put on her armor and grab her gear.

“Where are you going,” Isabela asked, once Hawke returned, headed for the door. Hawke waved her to stay sitting where she was lounged on the couch.

“Either to commit a felony or get ice cream. I'll decide on the way. You three stay, I’ll be back, enjoy yourselves. No reason for girls’ night to be ruined for all of us.”

“Have fun with the boys,” Merril shouted after.

A couple hours later, Hawke returns covered in blood but set a tub of ice cream on the coffee table the other three had moved to sitting around, playing cards.

“Oh, so you decided on ice cream,” Merril said, clearly not noticing Hawke's current appearance.

“Yeah, it sounded really good as soon as I said it.”

“Hun, two hours is a long time to take for ice cream. And it usually doesn’t require getting so dirty,” Isabela said giving Hawke a skeptical look.

“Alright, you got me. I decided on both.”

“Hawke, I don’t know if you know something I don’t, but I don’t recall any vendor who sells ice cream available at this time of night.”

“Aveline, I am not giving up my mid night ice cream procuring secrets.”

“You are just further making me believe this was stolen.” Hawke made no comment, just gave a coy shrug and left assumingly to clean herself up.

“Oh, don’t jump to conclusions big girl. And don’t be guard captain for one night, it won’t hurt you.”

“Until I have to deal with it in the morning.”

“Why would you have to deal with it? You’re not on duty tomorrow morning. That's why you’re here,” Merril asked.

“She is just assuming if there are cries of an ice cream thief, her men won’t know what to do and will come running for her aid like it was some case of grand larceny.”

“My men can handle themselves just fine without me needing to hold their hands. But I will have all the reports sitting on my desk to deal with when I inevitably go in tomorrow.”

“You're getting ahead of yourself, Aveline,” Hawke said having returned all cleaned up and back into her loungewear, with bowls, spoons, and a plethora of topping options in her hands. “All this sounds like you don’t want any of the ice cream. Which fine, more for us.”

Aveline stared at the ice cream long and hard before relenting and grabbing herself a bowl. “Fine. I suppose ignorance is bliss sometimes.”

“What did you do with the boys anyways? Didn’t they want ice cream too?” Merril asked.

“Don’t worry, I took care of them. They have their own ice cream, and I shoved the three of them in Fenris's mansion with explicit instructions to enjoy themselves and to not bother us again unless Meredith is dying dramatically on the steps to the chantry. And still, they better provide the popcorn.”

“Ah, Hawke prescribed boys night,” Isabela teased and immediately dodge out of the way of Hakwe’s punch.

“That's perfect, we have a girls night, and they get a boys night.”

“They already have a boys night. Donnic is usually invited, and they play cards.”

“Sorry, didn’t stop and grab Donnic for them to have a real boys night.”

“Its fine. I partially agreed to come tonight because he's on duty.”

“Oh, big girl, didn’t realize Donnic made you that much of a house wife.”

“Shut up whore. We're both busy and I enjoy spending the time I can with my husband, he would urge me out the door to enjoy myself if he heard I declined an invite such as this.”

“I stand corrected. Who knew you getting a husband would actually improve your social life.”

“Maybe if you got yourself one, you’d find out.”

“My social life hardly needs improving. And who says I want a husband. Maybe I want a wife. Maybe I'll get myself a new ship and marry it like the pirate captain I am. My true loves, my ship and the open seas.” Isabela sat upright, clasping her hands together over her heart, mimicking a lovesick young girl. Hawke and Merril couldn’t hide their laughter, while Aveline rolled her eyes at Isabela's antics.

“I wonder if the boys are having this much fun.” Merril asked.

 

The boys stood in Fenris's kitchen standing around staring at the ice cream tub in front of them blankly.

“I can’t believe Hawke has a deal to get ice cream in the middle of the night.”

“I don’t think this is an actual deal, Blondie. If it was, I don’t think Hawke would’ve picked the lock.”

“Sure, but she said she's done it plenty of times and the owner never seems to mind.”

“I’m sure he minds when he has to make more ice cream than expected once morning comes. He just doesn’t say anything because Hawke leaves payment on the counter,” Fenris added.

“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. We might as well enjoy it. Hawke's orders anyway.” Anders said, shrugging. Wouldn’t be his first meal obtained questionably. Certainly, one of the more luxury meals though. “Hey Fen, you have any bowls around here?” Anders was already starting to search through the cabinets while asking.

“Why bother asking mage if you are just going to rummage yourself. And of course there are bowls, you think a magister’s mansion would be lacking in basic dinnerware.”

“I’m sure it’s not lacking. But I also don’t know if you used them as projectiles when you first moved in. Which if that is the case, did you bother replacing them?”

“I think the better question is if broody has any clean bowls. No offense, but you seem the type to not cook and thus only use maybe two plates and a couple utensils.”

Fenris glared at Varric long and hard for a minute before sighing. “I believe I saw them in the cupboard to the left of the sink, and yes, we may need to wash them first.”

“On it,” Anders announced.

“I’ll grab some wine to go with it,” Fenris suggested, though was stopped before he could grab some.

“Got any toppings laying around? Ice cream is always more fun with toppings.” Varric asked.

“I have apples, and I believe some caramel still.” Anders stopped his washing to stare at the elf with a curious eyebrow raised. “It goes quite well with the apples.”

“That it does broody.”

“Do you have any cream? If so, I can whip it up real quick. Goes great on ice cream.”

“Why would I have cream? Who just randomly has cream?”

“I do, I give it to the kittens in darktown.”

“Of course you do.”

“And you have an ice box with functioning runes to go with the rest of your mansion decked out in the finest Dwarven plumbing. I’m washing dishes in a sink with running water. Do you know I have never done that before? And you want to tell me you aren’t taking full advantage of that.”

“I assure you, I take full advantage of the bathtub and it’s heating runes.”

“Oh, what I wouldn’t give for that. We are such a mess,” Ander said glancing at his own bloody clothing and then again at the other two in similar states. They also took the chance to reevaluate their current attire.

“Later. For now, I’m sure a quick wash and divulging of our armor will suffice to enjoy our ice cream.”

“If you wanted to get me out of my clothes, all you had to do was ask.” Anders said with a wink over his shoulder.

“Fenhedis, must you right now?” Fenris snipped back at Anders with no real bite behind it.

“If you two are going to flirt all night, I might just take my portion to go,” Varric announced staring the two down.

“We're not flirting.”

“Yet.” Anders added laughing as soon as he saw the glare Fenris shot in his direction.

“We shall behave,” Fenris said, stressing it in Anders's direction. “I wouldn’t want to make any guest uncomfortable.”

“Sure.”

“Well, if Blondie is done with the dishes, all that's left is for the toppings, if you would Broody. I've got cards, we can play while we eat.”

“No gambling tonight for me, I don’t have the funds.”

“We can play for something other than money, I’m sure. I don’t need to take your meager pocket change every time we play.”

“Like I don’t know you give it back as donations,”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Varric lied.

“Oh, I have an idea. If I win tonight,” Anders shouted down the hall towards where Fenris went for the wine. “Fenris, I am making you fill your ice box with whatever I want. Of course we can get stuff for you too.”

“Why would you fill my ice box?” Fenris asked upon his return to the kitchen.

“Because you are wasting it. I’ll even show you some easy things to make and make in bulk you can store in there for yourself later. I’m sure you could use some more variety.”

“You sound confident you’ll win.”

“Well now I’ve got something real to play for and only two of you beat.”

“Unfortunately for you, we're two of the best players, mage.”

“That's fine. Who knows, by the end of the night I might be convincing you to give me my prize anyways.”

“We shall see about that. Varric?”

“Should never trust when these two say they’ll behave. Worse than Rivaini.” Varric mumbles under his breath but dealing out the cards anyways. It will certainly be an interesting night.

Notes:

First time actually writing anything Dragon Age outside of chatting with friends. But after sending reels to my friend, the shower thought train went full force and I ended up writing this as a fic instead of simply texting it to my friend.
Just a terrible but silly idea that I have no regrets to.
Decided to share and maybe others will enjoy it as well.