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Rosa squinted at the case file sitting in her lap and took another drag from her coffee. It was too damn early in the morning for this much intel, and yet, here she was with Jake, doing a morning scan of their Pontiac Bandit files. “So you’ve got enough of a tail on Judy that we have a bead on the car show. And that means…”
“Boom!” Peralta gave her finger guns. “Undercover time! I’ve got the hat for it and everything.”
“Did you at least get me a top hat this time?” she grumbled.
He reached over to the chair behind him and punched it up. “Purple sash,” he said.
“Sweet,” she replied. And maybe she sat down a little closer to him than she usually did. Why not - it wasn’t like it was twelve for two brats night at the Knights of Columbus.
**
The best thing about doing a stakeout with Jake was that he valued the worth of good snacks. Rosa had a handful of Flamin’ Cheetohs when Doug finally pulled into the parking lot.
“Nobody move!” she yelled, and Jake was already on it, spinning Doug around, getting him ready to cuff. It was then that she got a really good look at the assortment of….chocolate hearts and little wine cooler bottles he had gathered? And were those condoms? Aww man.
“Uh, did we stumble into a really weird Tinder date?” Jake asked.
“No, man!” Doug said. “All of this happens to be for the two of you.”
“Uh…us?” Jake wouldn’t meet Rosa’s eyes as he cuffed Doug up.
“I just want you, my two most dogged pig detractors, to be happy,” Judy said, as Rosa frisked him. “For just one moment in time…” The Siri Jake had hooked up to the police radio promptly filled the air with strains of Whitney and he swayed with the tune. “I thought you two could hit it off and make adorable little babies. And call one of them Doug…”
“Ew,” Rosa said.
“Uh,” Jake said.
“Wait a minute,” Rosa said. “You’re into this, aren’t you?”
“What? No! You’re my partner! It would be super wrong if we got together – and also really hot.”
“What? I mean I don’t think about how cute you look when you’re holding a revolver in your hand, and about how cool you look on a motorcycle.” Rosa paused, her eyebrows forking. “Crap,” she said. “We want to bone.”
“Big time,” he said. “But maybe we should just sit down and eat Doug’s chocolate while we wait for back up?”
They did. “And I can have a glass of wine if you’re driving,” she said.
A beat passed, maybe two, before they lunged toward each other. “You’re a born cupid, Doug Judy,” he declared to himself, picking the latch holding his cuffs closed while Rosa and Jake made out on the blanket.