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Chapter Text

Chapter One: The Time She Steps Outside her Comfort Zone

September 2005

Penelope Featherington had never given much thought to how she would die— though she’d had reason enough in the last few years— but even if she had, she would not have imagined it like this.

She stared up at the overly bright fluorescent lights momentarily before she tightly shut her eyes hoping this was all a terrible dream or that maybe she had died. Could a person die of embarrassment? If it were possible, surely Penelope would be dead right now instead of feeling her heartbeat in her eardrums or seeing the imprint of ocean eyes behind her eyelids; the same eyes that haunted her every waking hour and every single dream.

“Oh Penelope, I didn’t see you there. I am so sorry, I hope you’ll forgive me,” of course this was all because of Cressida Cowper. The sound of her voice, just as falsely sweet as her, made Penelope squeeze her already closed eyes even tighter as if that would push Cressida out of the room altogether. Why she chose to single Penelope out to torment was beyond her comprehension, all she could do was grin and bear it.

“Pen. Pen, are you alright?” She felt his hand on her arm and despite the room being a pleasant temperature she felt goosebumps begin to rise where he touched her over the sleeve of her thin cardigan. “Let me help you sit up. I can take you to the nurse if you need to go.”

The thought of going to the nurse’s office, who would surely call her mother or tell her about her fall when they saw each other at bingo that weekend, made Penelope snap her eyes open and begin to slowly sit up. “I’m okay, Colin. It was a shock more than anything.”

Colin Bridgerton offered his hand and Penelope took it knowing this wasn’t worth their usual back and forward whenever he offered her help. “Still, it looked like it hurt.” His eyes were shifting slowly over her face as he pulled her to her feet. Penelope started to feel warm under his gaze. “Do you mind if I— uhh…if I check to see if you’re tender?” Penelope’s eyes widened in confusion at Colin’s stammering. “Your head Pen, where you hit it when you fell?” Colin tapped the back of his head.

“Oh I don’t think you need to Colin. I’m fine.”

“Humor me, please?” Finally looking into his ocean eyes, the same ones that she dreamed about, she nodded.  She could never say no to him when he looked at her with such evident care. He could always read her and knew most, if not all, all her expressions.  That was only one of the reasons why he was one of her best friends, though she’d never say that out loud much less in the presence of his sister, Eloise— her other best friend, because she would surely start some ramble at the offense of having to share the title.  There was also the fact that Penelope has been nurturing a crush on Colin since the day they met, the week she and her family moved to town and into the house across from the Bridgertons.

Penelope let out a soft involuntary hiss feeling Colin’s fingers gently probing at her scalp. “Oh sorry Pen, I didn’t—“

“S’okay, Colin. I guess it’s a little sore after all.”

“Do you want me to take you to the nurse?”

“No, no, I’ll be okay.  I’ll use the ice pack from my lunchbox for now. Besides, don't you have a meeting to run, Mr. Editor-in-Chief?”

The tips of Colin’s ears turned pink from hearing Penelope’s latest nickname for him. That will never stop being cute, Penelope thought. 

In the two and a half years they’ve known each other they have cycled through multiple nicknames for one another, having decided early on that to cement their friendship they needed nicknames they only used with one another. A part of Penelope missed when Colin was the only one that called her ‘Pen’, but that only lasted just over a year until the day Eloise heard him use the nickname and immediately declared she liked it better than ‘Penny’, the name the rest of the Bridgertons used.

“Yes, I’m surprised Mr. Ledger isn’t here yet,” Colin said as he glanced at the clock on the wall to the right of the classroom door. As if summoned by his words, Mr. Ledger, the faculty advisor, walked into the room not five seconds later wearing his signature wide smile that made the corners of his eye crinkle.

“Everyone grab a chair and gather round the front table! Apologies for arriving late. Mr. Bridgerton, head of the table please,” Mr. Ledger’s warm booming voice filled the classroom. Since Penelope was using one hand to hold her ice pack to her head and holding her backpack with the other, Colin pulled a chair up to the table for her then scrambled to gather his things and move to the head with Mr. Ledger on his right.

After Mr. Ledger gave a small nod, Colin turned to face his peers, “Good afternoon everyone, and welcome to the first meeting of the ‘05-‘06 Bees’ Knees News.”

Colin paused for his staff’s polite applause and took a moment to breathe and smile at each of them. When he saw Penelope beaming back at him, he couldn’t help his smile getting a touch bigger.

“Thank you to our returning staff and Mr. Ledger for trusting me with the honor of being this year’s editor-in-chief. On behalf of all of us, I also want to extend a warm welcome and thank our new members for joining, especially the sixth graders, for not only braving a new school but the newsroom as well. Let’s try and not scare them off,” Colin offered his signature happy-go-lucky grin where the left side of his mouth was raised slightly higher than the right. It was one of Penelope’s favorites of his smiles, genuine and charming almost a smirk but none of the cheekiness. 

As Colin continued his speech, Penelope felt herself being swept away by his words. At thirteen he was only two years older than her, but he already had such a strong confidence and ability to command the room. Any time he looked in her direction while he spoke, Penelope hoped he saw how she beamed with pride and happiness for him. She just knew he would do an amazing job this year.

“I guess it’s time for the exciting part, assigning the beats so we can get to work! Our first issue is set to go to print in just over three weeks.” As Colin conferred briefly with their advisor, Penelope noticed how handsome Mr. Ledger was and possibly would’ve swooned internally if her heart didn’t already belong to Colin. Although now that she was closer than when sitting in her social studies class with Mr. Ledger, Penelope noticed that he and Colin had eyes a similar shade of blue.  Maybe she was just a sucker for blue eyes that one could drown in. 

“With that being said, I will pass the floor to Mr. Ledger, our highly esteemed faculty advisor,” Colin led everyone in polite applause.

“Thank you, Mr. Bridgerton, for an excellent welcome speech. I’m confident you will do a wonderful job leading the Bees’ Knees this year.” Colin sat up straighter in his chair at the praise from the older gentleman he clearly admired. “While you will be assigned a specific beat for the year, do not let that limit you. If you have an idea for a story please let Colin or I know so that we can work with you. As I told each of you during your interviews the past week, you will each have the opportunity to write an op-ed piece on a topic of your choosing with my approval. I am delighted by the ideas I have heard so far. From your interviews and writing samples, Colin and I together decided on the assignments. As a refresher, we have six main sections headed by an older student, ideally an eighth grader, and one or two other students. But as I said, this does not limit you because at the Bees’ Knees we are a team first and value collaboration between all.”

Thinking back on her meeting with Mr. Ledger, Penelope was surprised at how at ease she felt with her teacher. She was a bit nervous to join the school paper, but after a conversation with the Bridgerton family matriarch encouraging her to explore her interests that differ from Eloise and Colin’s confession of eavesdropping, she figured applying her observation skills to journalism might be a good place to start. It was definitely out of her comfort zone but also felt safe, especially when Colin offered to help her prepare. If there was one thing Colin did well it was making Penelope feel safe.

She understood why Mrs. Bridgerton— Violet she corrected herself, felt the need to have that chat with her in the first place. Since moving to town it has always been Penelope and Eloise, Eloise and Penelope; they were hardly ever apart. Their fourth and fifth-grade teachers had the misfortune of having them together in class. Penelope had developed the habit of either telling El her thoughts so she could speak for her or letting El speak for her when situations were too overwhelming. Towards the end of the previous school year, their teacher sat down with both of their mothers to discuss the concern. Portia, Penelope’s mom, chalked it up to Penelope being a shy girl and would grow out of it soon enough. From her spot in the classroom’s reading corner listening to Eloise explain the prank she was planning to pull on Colin, Penelope could see the slight way Violet had pursed her lips. It wasn’t that Penelope enjoyed having Eloise speak for her, it was just often a convenience since Eloise enjoyed talking and they aligned in thought often enough that it was easier.

It was a few weeks ago, before the start of the school year, when Penelope came inside for a bathroom break after spending most of the late August morning and afternoon outside reading with Eloise that Violet had stopped her.

“Penny dear, would you mind helping me add the dry ingredients?” Violet’s question had caught her off guard, “I’m trying a new recipe to potentially use for Daphne’s birthday desserts next month.”

“Of course, Mrs. Bridgerton,” although she had just washed her hands in the bathroom she washed them again wanting Violet to see how responsible she was.

“It’s Violet, dear. You’ve been part of the family long enough to do without the formalities,” the glowing warmth Penelope felt whenever she was around the Bridgertons grew at Violet’s words. “Now you’ll slowly add in the dry ingredients in the bowl on my left on my cue,” Penelope nodded.

For a few minutes they worked in companionable silence and Penelope felt entirely at ease unlike how she felt around her mother. Once the dough was mixed and scooped into cupcake liners, Violet’s warm hazel eyes met Penelope’s as she thanked her for the extra help. “Penny, I hope you won’t mind my intrusion, but have you thought about what extracurriculars you might want to be involved in this coming school year? You know you’ll have more freedoms and opportunities in sixth grade.”

“I haven’t thought about it,” Penelope gnawed on her bottom lip— a habit of hers when she was nervous.

“You know how much I adore you and all that you have brought into our lives, especially with being Eloise’s friend. While I do worry about Eloise and Daphne adjusting to middle school in the fall, I also worry about you. You don’t have to follow my advice, but I hope you consider doing at least one activity separate from Eloise so that you may have something that is just yours where you may grow your wings.”

Penelope was stunned and didn’t know what to say.  Her mother hadn’t shown this level of concern for her in years, possibly since her parents first separated on a trial basis that never ended since they didn’t get back together. As she tried to open her mouth to respond, despite her voice feeling stuck in her throat, an unmistakable voice came into the room.

“Mom, whatever is in the oven smells delicious! Oh Pepper Ann, you have to tell me what mom made; I already know she won’t tell me even if I do my best puppy face,” Penelope’s small giggle escaped before she could help it.  Even without being in the room, Colin had come to her rescue and put her at ease enough to respond.

“I don’t think that name suits me no matter how hard you try, Mr. Editor-in-Chief,” Penelope resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him.

“I’ll keep trying, Pen-pen. I will not fail at this,” Colin exclaimed dramatically as he sat down on one of the stools at the kitchen island before grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl.

As Penelope made her way to the door leading back outside and to Eloise, she paused turning to face the woman who in a few short years had been more of a mother to her than her own, “Thank you, Mrs. Bridgerton. I’ll keep what you said in mind.”

It was later that day when Penelope sat in the family room watching some sitcom Eloise had put on that Colin found her with two of the lemon lavender cupcakes she had helped make earlier.

“Do you know how hard it is to get a moment with you without my sister around?” Colin plopped on the floor by her feet turning his head to face her as he offered one of the cupcakes.

“About as hard as getting time with you without another Bridgerton around I imagine.”

“Touché.” They chewed on their cupcakes in comfortable silence.  That was one of the best things about Colin, he didn’t needlessly fill the silence and Penelope could relax and just enjoy his presence. “These came out amazing by the way. I hope mom keeps these in her rotation of recipes,” Colin hummed in delight in the back of his throat.

“Colin, were you nervous when you started middle school?” At her question, Colin turned perpendicular to the sofa to easily look at Penelope while he spoke.

“Having to follow in Anthony’s straight A or Benedict’s artistic footsteps is more daunting than my siblings think. After seeing how wonderful two Bridgertons can be, I feel more expectation to shine in my own way but equally as bright as my brothers.” Colin remained silent for a moment as Penelope pondered his words and this new vulnerability he was sharing. “I don’t worry that my younger siblings will live up to those expectations. Daphne is just as smart as Anthony if not more when he was her age, but with the kindness of our mother. Eloise will not rest until she knocks down any door she finds in her path. Francesca is already the most musically talented amongst us even though we all take music lessons every week and will until we’re sixteen at least. Gregory and Hyacinth are a bit young to say how they will shine, but there’s no denying that they will.”

“You have stood out though; you’re the only one that’s on the school paper. I mean you even got voted to be editor-in-chief. I don’t know where I’ll fit in,” Penelope mumbled the last sentence.

“I didn’t mean to, but I heard what mom said to you earlier,” Penelope looked up from her hands in her lap to see Colin’s ears turning pink at the tips and let out a soft ‘oh’. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. You know if you don’t know where to start, you could join the school paper. I bet you’d be great on staff.”

With a tentative smile, Penelope found herself agreeing to Colin’s suggestion. When she had her interview with Mr. Ledger, Colin waited for her outside the classroom. He had made her first few weeks at North Ridgefield Middle School a smooth transition. Even with their classes on opposite floors of the building, Colin found a way to check in with her a few times a day. He even invited her to eat lunch with him and some of his choir friends since Eloise had band during her lunchtime. And now they were both officially on the school newspaper.

“Cressida Cowper and Ellen Wilson, you will be on the entertainment beat with Rosalie McCarty,” Mr. Ledger’s voice brought Penelope back to the present. As she tucked a stubborn strand of hair behind her ear she shifted her gaze towards Colin who gave her a soft grin and a quick wink when their eyes met. Penelope untucked her hair hoping to hide the blush she could feel on her face. As Mr. Ledger announced the names of the students covering sports, Penelope took a moment to glance at the eighth-grader Cressida would be working with since she didn’t know Rosalie. She was stunned. How was this girl only in eighth? From what she remembered Colin had told her, Rosalie was not someone to cross; that she had a temper that could rival even Anthony. It was hard not to take some delight in knowing that the girl who had tripped her not even an hour ago would be kept in line.

“That leaves our student life beat. Despite the added responsibilities, Colin has agreed to be the senior member for this beat, and joining him will be Penelope Featherington.”

——— * * * ———

Despite her nerves at working closely with Colin on the paper, Penelope found it comforting and easy. They worked well as a team, to say the least.  After that first paper meeting they quickly settled into a groove writing together after school when the newsroom was open and the times they weren’t writing they were brainstorming ideas. Early on Penelope suggested they include a lunchtime check-in where they interviewed students on their opinions on TV shows, fashion trends, or anything lighthearted. This was something they were able to do together given they had the same lunch period and they had it down to the perfect script.  Colin would initiate the conversation, Penelope would ask their question then jot their answer in a notepad, and Colin would take their photo.

Fridays had quickly become Penelope’s favorite day of the week and not just because it was the end of the school week and the start of the weekend. On Friday afternoons while Eloise was at her weekly bassoon lesson, she and Colin would spend extra time in the newsroom with a few of the older staff members and Mr. Ledger supervising them. Eventually, Eloise would find her way to them and they would pack up and either walk home together or be picked up by Mrs. Bridgerton. On occasion, Mr. Ledger would drive them to the Bridgertons’ house. It felt weird spending time with a teacher outside of school, but Penelope would shake off those feelings quickly. After grabbing a snack, the trio would work on homework or more often than not play some board game or watch TV until dinner. Penelope kept a few sets of pajamas in Eloise’s room because Friday night also meant their weekly sleepover. It wasn’t until after breakfast that Penelope would make her way across the street to her home on Saturday mornings.

It was one such Friday afternoon that Penelope noticed that Colin was writing something that didn’t appear to be related to the paper.

Computer1208: wat r u working on?

Computer1207: uhhh nothing

Computer1208: dosnt look lik nothing

Computer1208: Colly tell me

Computer1208: pls

Colin looked over at Penelope and saw she was sticking her bottom lip out in a slight pout. She really was adorable when she did that and it’s not like he’s ever been able to say no to his best friend. With a sigh, he responded.

Computer1207: give me a sec

Computer1208: :D

Pulling his backpack on his lap, he noticed Penelope grinning knowing she won and was getting her way.  He unzipped one of the front pockets and pulled out an Altoids tin.

Computer1208: wat do mints hav 2 do w/ dis

“I’m getting to that. Besides this is just something to hold these in,” opening the tin Colin pulled out a business card and slid it over to Penelope.

“You have business cards? Since when?”

“Since I started an online blog that became a source of income about a year ago,” Colin shrugged casually while also feeling his heart speed up dramatically.  He hadn’t shared with anyone except his mother and his investors his side project and that was mostly due to needing guidance when he had possible sponsors reach out wanting to advertise on his blog, after assuming he was older. Penelope ‘hmmed’ in response before turning back to her computer. Curious Colin, slid his chair closer to her to look at her screen only to see she had pulled up his blog. I didn’t think she’d look it right now, Colin thought as his ears quickly grew warm and that warmth spread to his neck.

Computer1208: CB Adventures?

Computer1207: *facepalm*

Chapter Text

Chapter Two: Their First Business Meeting

November 2005

In reality, Colin was relieved to share his secret with Penelope. He had been so afraid of what people would think about this blog he started the summer before seventh grade and how quickly it had taken off becoming popular enough to be a lucrative business venture for a twelve-year-old.  When he got that first email from a possible sponsor he turned to the adult he knew would keep his secret from his meddlesome siblings, his mother. Sure his older brothers sometimes teased him for being a mama’s boy, but with them being older they were already close by the time he was remotely able to keep up with them.  When their father died a few years ago, Anthony had quickly grown up to try and fill that parenting role and help their mother even though he was only fourteen at the time; the same age Colin would be less than five months.

Part of the reason he even started his blog, CB Adventures, was because he was still grieving his father’s passing since it was the second anniversary of his death. Edmund Bridgerton was a great man. The best man Colin had ever met. His dad inspired his love for words, for writing, for storytelling, especially if those stories involved real people. Of course, he enjoyed getting lost in a fictional world every now and then, especially Lord of the Rings which his dad read to Anthony, Benedict, and Colin when Colin was eight. It was still his favorite book series five years later, especially now that he understood it better and had been a way to feel close to Edmund.

But it was his love of learning about different people, inspired by his father and seeking a new project to get lost in as a way to soften the impact of grief that had him researching and writing his first blog post about Ringer (Lord of the Rings fans) subculture. CB Adventures was dedicated to his exploration of different subcultures and fandoms. Sometimes when he could he would interview people in person at the mall, that is when he could get a ride and avoid his siblings tagging along or at least them being occupied with something else so he could do his research in peace. Those were usually his favorite entries.  A majority of the time, his research involved going into online forums and chat rooms; which was all well and good but he missed out on seeing the light behind people’s eyes as they talked about something they were passionate about, and that made it a little draining.

After letting Penelope in on this part of his life it wasn’t much time before she volunteered to help him. Colin didn’t take long to consider her offer since they already made such a good writing team for the student life beat. Plus while he excelled at connecting with people in person, Penelope had a way of connecting with people through her written words even if her grammar in IMs left something to be desired. Another perk to having Penelope join his business venture, besides sharing the labor, meant they spent more time together. Since Colin still wasn’t prepared to let his siblings know, they were able to conveniently use the Bees’ Knees as their cover when they worked on the blog together in the family computer room. He hoped that soon he would be able to buy his own computer so they could work in his room instead.  Of course, he’d have to tell his siblings by then because it wouldn’t be reasonable that their mother bought a computer just for him.

With a final look in his dresser mirror, Colin decided he looked presentable and bounded down the stairs almost running into Daphne when he turned the corner.

“You’ve got a pep in your step today. Is there something you know that I don’t know about?”

”Daph, there are a lot of things I know that you don’t, like the square root of 1,225,” Colin chuckled at Daphne’s narrowed eyes. “It’s 35 by the way. Anyway, where are you off to in a hurry?”

“Oh, Anthony is taking me, Eloise, and Frannie to the mall to buy a gift for Benedict’s birthday next week while Benedict is at his clarinet double lesson. Wanna join us?”

“Nah, I already got him something last weekend when I helped Mom with Gregory and Hyacinth while running errands. But if you want to bring me back one of those giant pretzels, I wouldn’t be opposed.” Colin gave his sister one of his signature large beaming grins.

“Do you ever think about something besides food?”

“Sure I do, it’s just that food is always in the background.”

“Whatever you say, bro,” Daphne ever the lithe one went upstairs.

Well, that solved his dilemma of how to distract his siblings while he had his quarterly meeting with his primary investor. It did ease the tension he was carrying thinking of Penelope meeting an important person in their business. While he knew it would all go well, he knew Penelope was nervous since this was her first meeting, especially since she had brought some really great ideas that would improve the blog and increase their profits. Even though he always wanted to do things on his own, having Pen join the team had made it more rewarding.

Walking into the kitchen, he found Anthony sitting at the kitchen island tapping his fingers on the counter—car keys in hand, waiting for their sisters and his mother assembling a plate of snacks for Gregory and Hyacinth before their naps.

“Colin, are you joining us on the mall excursion? I could use some brotherly company,” Anthony practically begged when he saw Colin enter.

“Daphne just asked me; I already got something,” noting Anthony’s face fell a bit he added, “Sorry to disappoint, brother. If anyone can keep our sisters in line it's you.” Colin popped a few grapes from the snack platter assembled on the counter into his mouth.

Appeased by Colin’s compliment Anthony waved one of his hands in the air, “It’s alright.”

“Tony, Tony, look around. Something’s missing that must be found in the car now!”

“Ugh! Who taught Daph and El that rhyme anyway? Guess they're ready to go, finally.” Anthony got up from his stool and patted Colin’s shoulder as he passed.

“Drive safely, darling! And look after your sisters,” Violet told Anthony after he hugged her. His faint response of ‘always’ could be heard as he walked away. Turning to smile at her third-born Violet asked, “What time are you expecting Penny, dear?”

“In 15 minutes at most. Knowing Pen she’ll be here in five,” Colin chuckled. When it came to things she deemed important Penelope was always worried about being on time and prioritized being early. Almost on cue, the front doorbell rang and Colin practically skipped to open it.

“Early as I suspected,” Colin couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face as he moved out of the way so she could come inside.

“No teasing. At least not until after the meeting. I’m nervous enough already. Am I dressed okay?” Penelope did a shy little spin.

“You look great, Pen. I told you this meeting is more of a formality just to check in with our primary investor.”

“Do you think we’ll get the increased funding we need to start making some of the changes we’ve thought up?”

“Yes. I have no doubt.  This investor has always been interested in my success and when my dad passed away took part in helping me develop some of the skills I had started to learn from him. Now c’mon let’s grab a snack and we can go double check our PowerPoint if it would make you feel better.” Colin reached down and took hold of Penelope’s hand to take her to the kitchen before she could utter another word of doubt.

Penelope still couldn’t believe that out of everyone he knew, Colin Bridgerton chose her to confide in about his secret business endeavor. Maybe chose is a loose use of the word, but she knew that if Colin wasn’t willing and comfortable there was nothing she could do to get the secret out of him.  And now they were partners and that made her heart soar. She could say, even if it was only to herself, that Colin Bridgerton was her partner; business partner sure but partner nonetheless. And he thinks she looks great today on top of being confident in her ideas and the presentation they put together.

After greeting Mrs. Bridgerton and helping her assemble a platter of small bites to have at their meeting while Colin set up their PowerPoint in the family room, Penelope felt more centered and in control ready to give their presentation. This was a good thing because just as she was scolding Colin for eating almost half of the cheeses, fruit, veggies, and deli meats she had carefully arranged— was the boy ever not hungry? Penelope shuddered to think of the Bridgertons’ grocery bill based on just the way Colin ate— the doorbell rang. Colin called out to his mother that he got the door since she was busy with Gregory and Hyacinth, apparently the latter was resisting her nap. When she heard Colin come back in, Penelope stood up and smoothed down her simple royal blue dress with the perfect skirt for twirling and flutter cap sleeves,  She was surprised she hadn’t noticed that she and Colin matched today, the polo shirt he wore with his light washed jeans was the same color as her dress.

“Pen, I’d like to introduce you to our primary investor Mrs. Agatha Danbury. Mrs. Danbury, this is Penelope Featherington, my partner and best friend. I like to think I’m also her best friend but don’t tell Eloise,” Colin gestured between the two ladies as he introduced them.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs. Danbury. I’ve heard nothing but respect for you from Colin,” Penelope said warmly as she took in the woman before her. Agatha Danbury was in one word, a presence.  Even while still and silent, it was evident that the woman could command any room she entered. Her hair was buzzed close to her head and though she was no more than average height, the way she held herself Penelope would’ve thought she was seven feet tall if Agatha Danbury wasn’t standing in front of her. Just as Penelope was taking in the formidable deep tawny-skinned woman before her, she was aware she was being examined as well. “Please Mrs. Danbury, take a seat. May I offer you some coffee, water, or tea? Apologies we don’t have more snacks for you.”

The woman’s lips twitched, “you may call me Agatha dear.  And I imagine the half-empty plate of food before me has to do with Mr. Bridgerton standing behind you with an appropriately sheepish expression? But some water would be lovely.” Agatha gave them a closed-lip half smile.

“Guilty,” Colin chimed in; the sheepish grin Agatha mentioned was evident in his voice. “Here you go Agatha,” he said as he handed her a bottle of water. 

“Thank you. Now what do you have prepared for me this quarter? Your mother told me that your partner here has new ideas that might expand on this business?” Agatha placed her water on the side table beside her before crossing her legs and settling into her seat.

Colin looked over at Penelope and once she nodded that she was ready, Colin cleared his throat and began, “Yes, allow us to tell you about our vision for the future of CB Adventures.”

——— * * * ———

By the end of their presentation, Penelope could feel herself glowing inside. Not only had she delivered her parts without a hitch, but she was basking in the afterglow of Colin Bridgerton introducing her as his partner and best friend. She knew he meant partner as in business partner, as she constantly corrected herself mentally whenever she thought about their relationship. She also knew in theory that Colin considered her his best friend, but it was something so rarely spoken, that she savored it every time he said it. Yeah, she was hopelessly in love with the handsome boy with soft chestnut curls, eyes that were warm oceans she would gladly drown in, and a smile that beamed brighter than the sun, but she knew Colin wasn’t concerned with dating. He had never even so much as mentioned a celebrity crush whenever Eloise and Daphne would pester him when he joined them in watching the latest rom-com they obsessed over. So while Colin clearly didn’t see Penelope that way, she rested in knowing he didn’t notice anyone in that way per his responses to his sisters.

“It is evident you both have put a lot of thought and effort into considering how you might utilize the skills Miss Featherington is bringing to this endeavor,” Colin and Penelope shared a quick smile as they took in Mrs. Danbury’s praise. “Miss Featherington, as I understand it was your idea to incorporate merchandise designed in-house to attract members of the groups Mr. Bridgerton writes about and to outsource the redesign of the website to meet the new needs and streamline, correct?”

“Y-yes,” Penelope swallowed the small lump that had formed in her throat from being unaccustomed to receiving this level of positive attention. “Coding and web design are beyond our abilities. While we can learn, between our current responsibilities we won’t be able to give it the time needed to do a good job. And to be competitive we will do simple designs that use only one or two colors based on the quotes received from the manufacturer that will handle t-shirt printing and shipping.”

“Pen is being modest. She is great at drawing and imaginative so she will draw all our designs,” Penelope’s cheeks turned a soft rosy color as Colin turned to smile at her.

“I’m not that good. I’m no Benedict, but I think I can handle it.”

“Dears if I may interject?” After putting Gregory and Hyacinth down for their naps, Violet joined them in the family room—baby monitor in hand.

“Yes, mom?”

“Colin, I know this has been your personal project from the beginning but I’m wondering now since Penny will be an equal contributor in the maintenance of the site and creative process, might the redesign be an opportune time for a name change?”

“Oh no, no. Don’t change the name just because of me. I’m behind the scenes anyway,” Penelope shook her head before glancing at Colin and then the women in front of them. “It’s still about Colin’s experiences.”

Reaching over Colin placed his hand on Penelope’s upper arm, drawing her attention back to him. “No Pen, Mom brings up a good point. This is as much my business as it is yours, it’s not fair that the name doesn’t reflect that. We should brainstorm some ideas.”

“Another thing we must consider before we close out this meeting is the topic of Miss Featherington’s salary. She has already made significant contributions and will continue to do so,” Agatha said with a tone that made it clear she believed this to be non-negotiable.

Regardless, Penelope rushed to say, “Oh no, there’s no need to worry about that. I didn’t agree to help Colin expecting to be paid. Even after he told me he made money from all of this.” Penelope’s face was flushed by the time she practically snapped her mouth. Luckily it was before she could say that just working with Colin was the best reward she could imagine.

“Agatha is right, Pen. You deserve to be paid for your work. I had already started thinking about it when you started helping,” Penelope felt that if Colin stared at her much longer with the softness that was in his eyes at the moment, she would eventually lose any ability for coherent thought and speech. “I think a monthly salary of five hundred is appropriate. I included it in the budget I faxed over yesterday afternoon.”

“Then it’s settled. Five hundred is an acceptable starting salary and we can discuss a raise next quarter.”

As Agatha took a sip of her water, Colin turned to Penelope and asked, “You thought I wouldn’t pay you? That I would use you as free labor?” Colin’s face began to fall, “Do you— do you not want to work with me?”

Penelope felt all the blood drain from her face seeing the light dim behind Colin’s eyes as he thought that her rejection of payment meant she didn’t want to work with him. In the few years she had known the Bridgertons, they had all shown her so much generosity and love— certainly more than her own family— that she would do anything if she felt that she was repaying them.  She would do anything for the Bridgertons, but especially Colin. He was the first person to show her kindness without expecting anything in return, even if she was at fault for the jagged crescent scar just below his right knee. Unable to bear seeing him without his usual cheer, Penelope lowered her voice to say, “Of course I want to work with you. It’s just that…well you’re my best friend too sometimes more than Eloise. I would do it for free because it’s you.”

Taking her words in, Colin not only regained the light in his eyes but began to beam even brighter as he could barely fight the grin spreading across his face that was vaguely reminiscent of a golden retriever seeing their favorite human come home.

“Just don’t tell Eloise I said that,” Penelope added, it’s not like she could ever bear hurting her either. Colin mimed locking his lips with a key and tossing the key away, the sparkle in his eyes never leaving.

“Since Anthony and my sisters are still out, should we brainstorm some possible new names?” Colin moved to sit down on the loveseat adjacent to the set of chairs Agatha and his mother occupied and gestured for Penelope to join him.  Seeing as everything had gone well and riding the high of Penelope calling him her best friend— more than Eloise sometimes!— he took the opportunity to make himself comfortable crossing one leg under the other as he sat down and placed his arm across the backrest where he felt Penelope’s hair on his forearm when she moved her head or leaned back.

“How about New Scenes?” Suggested Violet.

“That has potential. But maybe focusing on new thoughts and exploration?” Replied Colin, not wanting to insult his mother by saying he did not like the name at all.

“The boy has a point, Violet. ’Think Geek’ or ‘Dork About It’ have merit since you’ve been wanting to focus on exploring more fandom subcultures. Your series on Lord of the Rings has been doing well,” Agatha gave her friend a smug smile.

“That’s too specific, I’d still love to include non-fandom subcultures and possibly expand into cultures surrounding social issues.” Penelope nodded agreeing with Colin.

“See for Yourself!” Violet practically hopped in her seat from excitement. “You know because you’re encouraging people to explore and possibly see themselves in the fandoms and cultures you write about!” The woman’s smile radiated self-satisfaction until she noticed her son’s pursed lips and her friend holding back a laugh.

“I’ll do you one better. ‘Explore Yourself: Finding my Vibe’.” The two women barely could contain their laughter after making eye contact.

With curiosity, Penelope watched the women laughing but she didn’t understand what was so funny about the name. She had been told she had a sharp wit and often surprised people when she told them her age, but she had been drawing a blank thinking of suggestions to make.  Having Colin’s arm practically around her shoulders and feeling his fingers mindlessly playing with some strands of her hair might have something to do with her lack of contributions.

Not wanting to remain silent or appear uninvolved she spoke up, “I like ‘Explore Yourself’ as a name.” Penelope felt Colin’s eyes on her as she continued, “Finding my Vibe would be a great tagline. Combined it mentions readers exploring new groups but also that they might find one where they belong.”

Colin nodded in agreement with Penelope’s reasoning. My best friend is amazing, Colin thought to himself as he admired her brilliance. How did I get so lucky?

“My dear, are you serious?” Agatha and Violet suddenly stopped laughing and were staring at the girl in shock.

“Why not? I agree with Pen’s reasoning. It does capture the essence of what we want our readers and possibly ourselves to experience.” Colin looked at the two women with a seriousness and silent dare to contradict Penelope which neither of the women would dream of doing. Meanwhile, Penelope’s mouth had formed a silent ‘oh’ in surprise at the ferocity of Colin’s support. “We could even credit you on the website, Mrs. Danbury. It was your idea and you are our primary investor.”

“But, but…”

After glancing at Penelope and seeing the confusion on her face Colin continued, “I nor Pen see what the problem is here.”

Violet chuckled at her friend’s inability to speak, a rarity in their years of friendship. “Colin has a point, Agatha. It was your idea; you should allow them to give you credit.” The mirth in Violet’s voice was impossible to miss although the reasoning still eluded Colin and Penelope.

“Fine. Use ‘Explore Yourself: Finding my Vibe’, but I will remain an uncredited and silent investor. Let’s adjourn this meeting.”

——— * * * ———

March 2006

Computer1207: hey Penne Pasta! guess what :D

Computer1208: if ur gonna call me dat imma call you Coliflower

Computer1208: wat

Computer1207: that’s my least favorite vegetable

Computer1207: you know that

Computer1207: you wouldn’t dare >:|

Computer1208: try me

Computer1207: :O

Computer1208: u had sumthin to tell me

Computer1207: yes before you rudely threatened me

Computer1208: …im waiting

Computer1207: happy three year anniversary since you moved here and we met

Computer1207: and happy three year best friend anniversary

Computer1207: im glad you moved in across the street :)

Computer1208: happy 3 yr best friend anniversary colin

Computer1208: im glad i moved here too

Chapter Text

Chapter Three: He Asks Out a Girl… Kinda

May 2006

As he walked outside, lunch in tow, Colin couldn’t believe how fast his eighth-grade year was flying by. It was already spring, although someone should tell the weather that because even though it was May he still needed a sweatshirt in the mornings, and if he spent any prolonged amount of time outdoors like he planned to do now for lunch.  Normally he would’ve seen his best friend, Penelope, a few times by now but instead of getting a ride to school with himself, Daphne, and Eloise from his mother, she was going to be late to school for some vague family reason.  Of course, Eloise tried to wrangle details out of her, but Penelope kept mum and refused to elaborate.

Regardless it was an otherwise beautiful Thursday and these were Colin’s favorite lunchtimes because he didn’t have to share Penelope with anyone, not even Eloise.  Instead ever since it started getting warmer they had taken to eating lunch outside on Thursdays to work on their business. Who knew that a blog he started as a way to distract himself from his grief of losing his father would bring them so much closer together?  It was difficult finding pockets of time to work on Explore Yourself since his family was still unaware that Colin and Penelope were running a blog and merchandise shop out of the Bridgertons’ home, but it was getting to the point where keeping it a secret was taking too much energy.  Besides, come summer they wouldn’t be able to use the Bees’ Knees as a cover anymore. I wonder if Pen will still work on the Bees’ Knees next year when I’m in high school, Colin thought as he spotted her red hair and rosy cheeks. She wasn’t alone.

Trailing half a pace behind Penelope was a girl who looked to be about her age. She was slightly taller than Penelope, with golden skin, large dark brown eyes, and a head of thick curly hair in a high ponytail. Since it appeared this new girl was talking to Penelope, it looked like his usual plans of one-on-one lunchtime with her were dashed. Though he could feel himself deflate a little bit, he tried not to let it show on his face.

“You’re lucky you have lunchtime at this hour, mine is so early at my school that it feels like I should be eating breakfast,” the new girl giggled as she and Penelope approached the table where Colin was sitting.

Clumsily Colin stood from the stone picnic table, his foot momentarily catching on the bench. His recent growth spurt had brought him gangly limbs and added almost four inches to his height in the last year; he was within an inch of Anthony’s height already with only Benedict being taller. It also made his already limitless appetite a black hole, which typically suited Penelope just fine since he would eat almost anything including the low-sugar/low-carb lunches Portia Featherington insisted on packing for her daughter.

“Dang legs,” Colin said under his breath and then smiled hearing Penelope giggle at what he said. They were always able to laugh with one another over even the most embarrassing aspects of life, including puberty. “I wasn’t sure if you’d make it to school by lunch,” Colin told Penelope as he wrapped her up in a hug while resisting the urge to pick her up and spin around knowing she hated being lifted off the ground.

“Yeah, got here about an hour ago. Took longer in the office than I thought,” Penelope replied once Colin released her. “Colin, this is my cousin—”

“Marina Thompson,” the new girl demurely lifted her hand towards him. Slightly befuddled, Colin met her eyes, took her hand, and shook it before releasing it quickly as his eyes moved back to Penelope. “Penny Lane, you didn’t mention you had such a cute friend,” Marina leaned down and faux whispered into Penelope’s ear using her hand as a shield still intending for Colin to hear her.

Penelope, feeling slightly warm, cleared her throat before saying, “Marina is staying with my family for a week while her dad is busy with some things.” As she was speaking Penelope sat down at the table where Colin had part of his lunch already unpacked.

“We’re moving so my dad is selling our house and wanted me out of his hair as potential buyers toured this week. We might move here to be closer to family, so besides reconnecting with my cousins I’m supposed to be checking out the school,” Marina rolled her eyes and batted her eyelashes implying she had other priorities in checking out the school that didn’t include academics.

“I thought your dad had already decided on boarding school out east and was selling the house to help pay your tuition,” Penelope inserted with a tinge of sharpness Colin wasn’t used to hearing in her voice. Sure his best friend had a sharp and witty tongue, but he hadn’t heard her make such a pointed comment before.

“Oh, that’s only a possibility. It’s mostly to downsize since it’s too big of a house and too much land for just him and I,” Marina waved her hand in the air to shoo away Penelope’s comment.

“No lunch today, Pen?” Sensing some tension between the cousins, Colin switched the topic.

“Mama insisted on a family brunch this morning when my uncle and Marina arrived before driving us to school. Guess you’ll have to survive without the low-fat yogurt and iceberg lettuce salad I probably would’ve brought today,” Penelope teased.

“I think I’ll survive. Although it’ll be your responsibility to walk me to the nurse’s office if I faint from hunger.”

“Maybe you should text your mom and tell her she’ll need to prepare an extra filling afternoon snack.”

“Ugh. Did I tell you my texting limit has been reduced because of Daphne?”

“No…”

While Penelope didn’t have a cell phone, her two older sisters shared one, so she was no stranger to hearing the woes of going over allotted minutes and texts. It was a small blessing since otherwise it would be another thing for her mother to berate her over. If she ever needed a phone and wasn’t home she was usually with one of the Bridgertons who all, except the youngest three, had cell phones. Unlike Eloise, who often forgot hers at home despite her mother’s worry, Daphne’s was practically an extension of her hand outside of school time.

“She racked up our bill so much last month, mom sat all of us down and put new limits on all of us.”

“I bet Eloise loved that even though I bet she doesn’t even remember where her charger is since it’s not like she uses it often.”

“Oh yeah. Big talk about fairness and equity once Mom left the room. She only stopped talking after Anthony reminded her that she was always using my phone since she forgot hers constantly or borrowing from one of her band classmates.” Both Colin and Penelope grinned at each other thinking of Eloise’s tenacity in fighting all injustices she comes across. It was one of her most admirable qualities, although also tiring.

“Colin, you should give me your number so we can text,” Marina chimed in feeling left out of the conversation.

“Oh, sure. After school. My phone is in my locker,” Colin replied as he glanced at Penelope’s cousin. Ever the gentleman he felt that he owed it to Penelope to at least make her cousin feel included even though he was mildly annoyed that their best friend time had been interrupted by her presence.  He already had to share Penelope with his family most of the time, so he truly savored any time they spent just the two of them. “So Marina, when was the last time you saw Pen?”

“I think it’s been almost two years, right Penny Lane? I think it was at your dad’s funeral,” Marina said as she glanced at her cousin who had gone almost as still as a statue. “But before that, we saw each other once or twice a year at least. Before her family moved here we spent most of the summer together out at my house since it’s near a lake. Remember how loudly you screamed when you thought the leaves from that fallen branch were a fish?” Marina laughed a little louder than necessary, not noticing Penelope was furiously blushing and had started folding in on herself.

“Yeah, Prudence wouldn’t stop teasing me about that the rest of the summer,” Penelope mumbled in reply.

“If that freaked you out, I probably would’ve screamed loud enough to wake the dead as mom would say. All those hours of voice lessons just so I can scream louder than a banshee, but hey at least I wouldn’t be hurting my voice,” Colin joked trying to break the tension and possibly make Pen at least smile.

“And you can sing? Wow. I bet you’re really good too,” Marina responded.

“Uhhh yeah. My mom has us all in music lessons. I chose voice so I wouldn’t have to carry my instrument around. Poor Pen has had to sit through a few of my choir concerts already. Right Pen?”

“The Christmas concert this year has been my favorite so far. You had that solo towards the end of the concert during Silent Night,” finally Pen was smiling again, Colin thought.

“Yeah and you called me little drummer boy for all of winter break even though that was Frannie that played it between the different choirs’ sets,” Colin chuckled when he saw Penelope let out a huff of air as she smiled a bit more.

“Sounds like I missed quite the show. Maybe I’ll be able to catch one of your concerts if I do end up moving here. Penelope and I could be your groupies.”

Colin tried not to cringe, but he suspected Pen probably noticed. “I mean you’d have to join my family since they make up most of the entourage. I don’t know how Pen puts up with us, we are a handful.” Glancing over, Colin noticed that Pen’s eyes were unfocused as she chewed on her bottom lip. He was just about to reach over to touch her hand to get her attention so he could get a read on her when the bell rang and they both were startled.

“Well I guess we should get going, Marina is going to my classes with me the rest of the day and you know I have Language Arts in basically the furthest classroom from here,” Penelope let out an unsteady chuckle.

“Are you going to come by the newsroom after school today? We didn’t get a chance to go over our work during lunch.”

“Oh yeah. I should be able to unless my mom has other plans that she didn’t tell me about.”

“Okay so I will see you there,” Colin replied as he quickly cleaned up.

“It was really nice to meet you, Colin. I’ll see you later,” Marina added as she stood up from the table.

“C’mon Marina, we don’t want to be late. Mr. Edwards does not do well with any tardiness whatsoever,” Penelope reached for her cousin’s hand to tug her along.

“Toodles!” Marina waved at Colin as she looked over her shoulder which he returned with a smile that looked slightly more like a grimace.

From what Colin could remember Penelope had mentioned that she and Marina were as thick as thieves when they spent their summers together, both being ignored by Prudence and Philippa, Pen’s older sisters. But it appears that some things have changed since then. Normally Colin wouldn’t have been so terse with strangers except he was looking forward to spending time with just Pen during lunch and not just to work Explore Yourself or the Bees’ Knees. Well maybe a little bit of Bees’ Knees business, but only to ask if she would want to go to the Spring Fling with him so they could cover it together for the paper.  It was the last dance of his middle school career and aside from wanting to possibly use it as the basis for his final letter from the editor, he couldn’t imagine going without his best friend.

——— * * * ———

By the time Monday rolled around Penelope was ready for Marina leave.  It was true what she insinuated during lunch on Thursday with Colin that they were close when they were growing up.  Marina and her father lived only two hours away from Penelope and her family, that is until Portia realized her marriage wasn’t going to work out and moved taking the girls with her. Things had already been strained between her parents for as long as Penelope could remember.  She couldn’t shake the feeling that her existence was a result of Portia and Archie Featherington trying to give themselves a reason to work things out. It was a few months after her seventh birthday that Archie moved out of the family home and into a one-bedroom apartment a few blocks away from Penelope’s elementary school. For a year she and her sisters rotated between staying with their mother and father. Then just over a year after their move, they received a call from the police that Archibald Featherington’s body was found in his apartment after a neighbor had called the authorities for a wellness check to be done. Penelope had never felt that numb in her short life. When she accepted that her father was gone, she became hyper-aware of her mortality. Both Eloise and Colin rallied around her during that summer as she navigated grief that felt both overwhelming and not enough for a loss as monumental as losing a parent to her ten-year-old self. The Bridgerton siblings had lost their father about eight months before the Featheringtons moved into the house across the street so while it was morbid she felt a little less alone being part of the dead dad club.

Before meeting the Bridgertons, Marina had been the person who provided a measure of the love and support Penelope needed but could not find at home. Her mother had an endless litany of criticism for Penelope regarding almost every aspect of her existence from her appearance to her hobbies. Prudence and Philippa had tried to shield her from Portia’s cutting words, but at some point, it became every sister for herself except in the moments that the eldest two Featherington sisters found solace in each other. It was no wonder that the apathy Archibald showed his youngest daughter felt like love by comparison. It wouldn’t be until years later that Penelope realized her family had spent most of her childhood in survival mode; each living as a solitary island in the same house and losing themselves in their own struggles. But at that time the only family— the only person, with whom Penelope felt safe was Marina.

They would spend days swimming at the lake near Marina’s house with breaks to warm up under the sun while reading ‘The Magic Treehouse’ books and eating fresh raspberries they would pick on their way to the lake. The girls could erupt into a fit of giggles at the drop of a hat whenever they were together. Once they even engaged in a prank war against Prudence and Philippa for almost two weeks. Of course, they had emerged victorious when they set up a Rube Goldberg machine that resulted in eggs being cracked over Prudence’s and Philippa’s heads. It was a stroke of brilliance to take multiple photos of the results to memorialize their victory. Even though they were both visibly upset, Prudence had a note of pride in her eyes at her littlest sister’s ingenuity and Philippa eventually couldn’t help but chortle with laughter.

That’s why Marina’s behavior anytime she and Penelope were around Colin had thrown Penelope for a loop.  She knew she hadn’t been as good of a friend to her cousin ever since becoming so close to the Bridgertons, but this seemed to be a disproportionate response if it was retaliation.  Penelope knew Marina didn’t want to go away to boarding school far away from the only home she knew and her friends at school, but was that a reason for her to take her frustration out on Penelope by trying to embarrass her at every possible opportunity? And why was it only in front of Colin?

In a rare moment that she was alone, Daphne had come up to Penelope and told her how they had all missed her Friday night and during breakfast Saturday morning. Yeah, she was so ready for Marina to leave so her life could settle back into its pleasant mundane routine. At least today she would be busy during lunch with Colin as they conducted their final lunchtime symposium of the school year for the paper and they had Bees’ Knees meeting after school. Penelope felt a small smile grow on her face as she glanced at the clock behind her science teacher’s head counting down the hours. Two more hours until lunch and four and a half until Bees’ Knees, she thought to herself.

——— * * * ———

Colin had been looking forward to spending lunch with Penelope, without her cousin interrupting them every few minutes, so much that he had completely lost his nerve and never got around to asking her what he’d been wanting to ask her since Thursday.  He had hoped that she would still spend Friday night at the Bridgertons’ even if her cousin was with her because then at least he would’ve had a shot at getting at least a few minutes alone with her, but Portia Featherington had other plans, and had surprised them all by picking up Penelope from school for the first time. Eloise had joked that surely that was a sign of the end times— Portia showing a once of consideration for her youngest and wanting to spend time with her. During lunch, Penelope had mentioned she couldn’t remember a time in her life that she had spent that much quality time with her family and it hadn’t resulted in a headache or tears for one or more of them. After hearing that it was hard to hold much of a grudge since it seemed that the weekend with her family had given Penelope some sense of ease, at least when it came to her relationship with her mother.

On the other hand, even without asking her, Colin knew Penelope was not comfortable with her cousin still in town. Of course, she hadn’t exactly told him in so many words but she was his best friend and he could read her emotions in her eyes and the way she held her body. Colin liked to think of himself as kind and a gentleman, the kind of boy on the brink of manhood that his father would be proud of; so it was not enjoyable to admit—even to himself— that while he was flattered by Marina’s attention, he was beyond annoyed with her presence and was already counting down the days for her to leave. Unfortunately, if he waited until she left to ask Pen to the Spring Fling it would be far too last minute and he worried that it would come across as a last-minute idea or worse a pity invite when that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Now it’s not like he wanted it to be a date with Penelope— they were just best friends for goodness sake, she was like family. She wasn’t like a sister to him, although Anthony did like to joke that Penelope was the easiest of his sisters to deal with and had told Penelope that he would always look out for her just like he did for Daph, El, and Frannie, but that didn’t mean that Colin thought of her as a sister. She was Pen; she wasn’t his sister but she was family, his best friend, and the person with whom he enjoyed spending the most time.

Over the school year, they had developed a comfortable workflow when they were in the newsroom together. After he finished leading the staff meeting he and Penelope would sit at their computers and work in silence often with a snort or chuckle here and there as they traded comments over IM regarding the piece they were working on or observations of their fellow staff members.  Colin marveled at Pen’s quiet ability to win over everyone in the room, even Rosalie McCarty who was not an easy person to impress. When Penelope had brought up the idea of adding an anonymous advice column to the paper to Colin and Mr. Ledger, they didn’t notice Rosalie had overheard until she let out a scoff and asked, “No offense Penelope, but you’re only in sixth grade what advice could you offer the whole student population?” Colin knew that while the question and Rosalie’s tone of voice seemed condescending, it was made in earnest and was something he wondered as well.

Ever prepared Penelope already had a response, “If Colin and Mr. Ledger were on board, I was planning on asking you to co-author the column with me. I’ve already learned so much in these few weeks by being around you and I know there’s more I could learn from you still.  Daphne has told me how you’re an amazing captain on the dance team.” Colin had known Pen was particularly observant, but even he was surprised at how easily she had picked up that the quickest way to gain Rosalie’s approval was through genuine compliments. It really shouldn’t have been that surprising since the day before Penelope pointed out to Colin how irate Rosalie was by Cressida’s over-the-top saccharine flattery. Of course, after discussing logistics, Rosalie had agreed to co-write the paper’s anonymous advice column, ‘Dear Darcy’, named after their school mascot Darcy the bee.

Snapping out of his nostalgic daydreams, Colin saw there were only ten minutes left before Colin’s mom would arrive to pick everyone up from school, Colin was cutting it close on asking Penelope to the dance. He knew if he let himself put it off until tomorrow, he would either lose his nerve or worse not find a moment to ask her in private. He glanced at Penelope sitting next to him out of the corner of her eye, noting the small crease between her eyes that she got when she was concentrating on something, and on her other side Marina seemed to be engrossed in the magazine she was reading, an idea came to him.

With his fingers poised over his keyboard and pondering his words, Colin didn’t notice a chair to his right scooting away from the computers and its occupant standing.

Computer1207: hey

Computer1207: there’s something ive been meaning to ask you for days now

Computer1207: would you want to go to the spring fling with me next friday?

Colin felt a soft hand touch his forearm and turned while trying to keep his breathing even in hopes that his heart wouldn’t jump out of his chest.

“Colin, I would love to go to the Spring Fling with you!”

Colin’s eyes widened in surprise and looking up he saw the notebook Penelope was holding slip from her hands and her eyes widening as well as she came to an abrupt stop behind Marina.

Well, that wasn’t how it was supposed to go, he thought.

Chapter Text

Chapter Four: Their First Dance… Almost

May 2006

For Penelope, the rest of Marina’s week-long visit was, in a word, long. After witnessing Colin ask Marina to go to the Spring Fling with him, she could’ve sworn she heard her heart shatter into a million pieces like a glass vase being dropped from a skyscraper. Hearing Marina’s excitement when she accepted felt as if the ground had opened up beneath her or that she was a cartoon character that had a rug pulled out from under her feet and she was spinning in the air, disoriented, before gravity inevitably claimed her and she fell flat on her face.

Even now a week and a half later, and the day of the dance, Penelope could still remember Colin’s shocked expression at seeing her standing behind Marina after she had said yes. He was probably hoping to have more time alone with her before I showed up again, she thought bitterly to herself as she looked at herself in the vintage full-length mirror that had been passed down in her family. Her mother had insisted on tossing it out when they moved, but Penelope proclaimed it a valuable heirloom that could be sold later on when she outgrew it since it was decades old and carved by hand so for now it remained in her possession.  Truth be told, Penelope would never let it be sold because she loved the carved edges that made it seem she was emerging from between two trees with vines climbing up them. She used to pretend she was a mystical fairy who could fly anywhere she wanted. The other reason she felt an attachment to the mirror was because it was from her father’s side of the family. While her father had been mostly apathetic towards her while he was alive, it soothed a small part of her that still yearned for a connection with him.

After smoothing down the floral pink and green sundress one last time, Penelope wobbled briefly in the heels she had borrowed from Philippa— that were almost a full size too big and grabbed her only purse, a small slightly worn brown leather shoulder bag.

“Penelope! If you still want a ride to your school dance, you better get down here in the next thirty seconds, or else I will be late to my book club.”

“I’m right here, Mama, ready to go,” Penelope said to her mother’s back as she stepped off the last stair.

“Honestly Penelope, you must be more considerate of other people’s time.”

“I’m sorry, Mama. Shall we go so you aren’t late?” Penelope walked past her mother and out the front door to the car.

Once they were on the road, Penelope could feel the heat of Portia’s laser-focused critical eyes on her every few seconds and let out a sigh.

“You know, Penelope, while I am pleased to see you putting more effort into your appearance this past week I wish you had consulted me before spending your allowance on makeup that doesn’t suit your coloring at all. You’re not a child anymore and should’ve started dressing like a young lady sooner, but better late than never I suppose.”

Penelope didn’t know what to make of her mother’s comment. It was typical in that it was designed to cut into her carefully, like a surgeon wielding a scalpel. The surprising part was that it was also supportive and almost an offer of help. “I didn’t want to bother you, Mama. You needed your rest after Marina’s visit.”

“I suppose you’re right. Whatever brought on this change, I’m grateful. It’s all for the best that you found something to occupy your time besides spending so much time with those Bridgertons or wallowing in your room listening to that ridiculous song in Spanish. You don’t even speak the language and next year you’ll be starting French for your language credit.” Her mother laughed to herself before continuing, “Although it’s a good thing that you realized early on how ridiculous you looked stuffing your chest with tissues. Breasts do not grow that quickly overnight.” Penelope resisted the urge to slide down her seat while she felt her neck flush at the memory of Prudence making snide comments regarding that particular failure of an attempt to reinvent her image to be more a typical girl, the kind of girl worth wanting as more than a friend.

It had started Wednesday during gym class two days after Colin asked Marina out. They were in the middle of their swimming unit so instead of attending class with Penelope the gym teacher had requested Marina either go to the library for the open study hall period or find a different class to sit in on, Daphne had been kind in inviting her to go to choir with her after overhearing them discuss the situation after school the day before. Penelope was petty enough to feel a brief thrill of seeing Marina’s face fall when Daphne said she was in the all-girls ensemble after she had already accepted the offer; at least she wouldn’t be spending time with Colin without her.

That day as Penelope was taking a quick shower after gym class, least her hair smelled like chlorine the rest of the day, she was about to step out of the shower stall when she heard Cressida Cowper’s voice.

“It’s really not surprising that Colin Bridgerton is going to the Spring Fling with Marina. She clearly inherited all the good looks available in that family. He is so kind for giving Penelope as much attention as he has already.”

“I guess Marina does have a certain je ne sais pas as my mom would say.” One of Cressida’s minions replied.

“Exactly. A guy would have to be blind to not see it and still choose to spend time with Penelope Featherington,” Cressida said her name with an extremely nasally voice in a poor imitation of how Penelope used to speak sometimes when she had first moved to town and developed allergies. Penelope’s eyes began to sting as she fought back tears. It was nothing new to be the subject of Cressida’s cruel words but she wasn’t okay with her speaking behind her back. Eloise always reminds her that girls like Cressida shrank when they had to say their mean things to their target because they thrived on gaining power in secret where no one would confront them.  So even if Cressida repeated what she had just said to Penelope’s face, she wouldn’t leave the room thinking she affected Penelope’s emotions.  After all, living with her mother had trained her how to hold an impassive countenance when faced with even the most vile criticisms imaginable.

Squaring her shoulders and putting her damp hair in a hair clip, Penelope stepped out of the shower stall and rounded the corner towards the main area of the girls’ locker room where Cressida held court. At her sudden appearance, the group of girls fell silent and exchanged glances with one another, wondering if Penelope had heard what they said.

“Oh don’t stop gossiping on my account, girls,” Penelope said in the most steady and even voice that she could manage considering the slight tremble in her fingers as she put in the combination to open her gym locker.

“If you insist, you’re already aware that despite following him around like a lost puppy dog, Colin Bridgerton would never be interested in you. For one he’s an eighth grader so why would he waste his time on a sixth grader? And two if he was interested in a girl in sixth she would be more like his sister, Daphne—not the loudmouth Eloise, or your cousin.  You know girls that know how to be girls. Not geeks with their nose so far in a book it might as well be covered in ink.” Cressida smirked.

“Hmm, is that all? Are you done?” Penelope closed her locker and turned around while slinging her backpack on. “Either way it doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t want to keep Colin or Mr. Ledger waiting to start today’s newspaper meeting.”

Walking out of the locker room Penelope’s heart was beating faster than it had during gym class. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say when Cressida had finished talking but suddenly it felt like she was possessed by Eloise’s spirit— no someone even more cunning, Rosalie McCarty’s. It wasn’t until Saturday morning after Marina left that Cressida’s words fully settled into Penelope’s mind and heart.  Cressida was right of course, why would Colin ever be interested in her? She wasn’t the kind of girl who lit up a room as soon as she walked in, her body insisted on holding on to more baby fat compared to her classmates, and she didn’t wear makeup or dress like other girls her age, like the pretty girls in her grade like Daphne or Cressida for that matter.

By the next day, Penelope had been ruminating over Cressida’s words, Marina’s gushing over Colin, her flaws her mother continuously pointed out, and most of all Colin’s silence and almost avoidance of her that whole week. Newspaper meetings the rest of the week were a test of how long she could school her face to not betray her emotions, especially anytime Colin would IM her about something he would normally voice aloud. Each time was a paper cut to her heart, getting eaten by a shark probably would’ve been less painful.

Throughout her overthinking fest, she played her Help I’ve Fallen and I’m Crushed in unrequited love playlist that she named ‘grayish pink’. Earlier that year she had started naming any playlist she made according to a color that captured the mood of the playlist. And it was during one of their sleepovers Penelope found the cornerstone of this particular playlist. She and Eloise had found a forum where people shared music recommendations online after Eloise had expressed how over she was of hearing the same thing on the radio. While Eloise was busy in another room, Penelope had discovered “Dreaming of You” by Selena and her heart lurched with how perfectly it captured her feelings for Colin. Of course, all her mother had noticed was that the song had some Spanish and had written Penelope’s latest interest off.

While Penelope felt no shame in feeling her feelings, at the end of the day she was not content sitting on the sidelines of her own life and though she was shy and quiet for the most part, she was a girl of action. Sunday during lunch, Prudence and Philippa mentioned they were going to the mall to meet up with some friends and by some miracle her mother allowed her to go with them when she asked.  Walking into Claire’s and Limited Too was overwhelming, to say the least.  She was way out of her depth but she managed to buy some makeup, a few accessories, and some shirts she found on clearance with her allowance that she had saved up since the Bridgertons never let her pay for anything when she was with them which was always since they were her social life.

One of the sales associates even called her a little hottie in training when she tried on some things.  The most surprising thing was that when her sisters were looking for her to head home, they bought her the dress she was currently wearing on her way to the Spring Fling. She had been eyeing it so much that Alyssa, the sales associate, had noticed and insisted she at least try it on.  Prudence and Philippa had found her just as she came out of the dressing room to Alyssa’s praise. It was a rare moment of sincere sisterly bonding between the Featherington girls, much like the countless moments Penelope witnessed between the Bridgerton sisters.

“I imagine you’ll be getting a ride back with the Bridgertons,” Portia’s voice snapped Penelope out of her mind to notice they were entering the school parking lot. 

“That’s the plan, Mama.” 

Well, it had been the plan before Eloise had pulled a Lily Moscovitz and accused Penelope that she had changed herself to fit in with all the other mindless clones at their school like Cressida. Eloise had continued her tirade after school going as far as saying, “You used to care more about what’s in your head than on it,” a direct quote from The Princess Diaries, and hadn’t even realized it despite both agreeing Lily could’ve been a better friend to Mia after seeing her makeover. At that point Penelope was tired, her feet hurt from borrowing Philippa’s platform flip flops, being hyper-aware of her body all day, wondering if her makeup was still on and checking her reflection constantly, and to top of the most Monday of Mondays Colin seemed to pull away even more if that was possible. So was it such a bad thing that she figuratively put her foot down and told Eloise to shut up? Eloise had been so shocked she simply turned around and walked into the Bridgertons’ house leaving Penelope in the driveway with her speechless three older brothers. Anthony and Benedict seemed to communicate silently before Benedict offered her a small assuring smile and went inside after Eloise.

“Pen…” Colin had said her name so softly she wasn’t sure if she imagined it. She only realized it wasn’t her imagination when Anthony gave Colin a pointed look, effectively telling him to go inside thus leaving Penelope with the eldest Bridgerton sibling.

“Don’t take what Eloise has said to heart, Penelope. You know as well as any of us that she doesn’t do so well with any change, but that is still no excuse.” Anthony ran his fingers through his hair unaccustomed to counsel the young girl before him that had become one of his sisters in the last three years. The months following his father’s death, was the most difficult time of his life thus far, especially when it came to trying to be there for Colin, Daphne, and Eloise. With Benedict they faced the difficulty of being fatherless together, brothers against this new reality, leaning on one another even though Anthony still felt he carried more responsibility by being the oldest. Francesca, Gregory, and baby Hyacinth were young enough that while their souls would always remember the love Edmund had for them, they wouldn’t remember what he was like as a father so Anthony had slipped into being both big brother and father to them, especially during the weeks Violet would go catatonic and not leave her room.

But with Colin, Daphne, and Eloise, they were too old to ever see Anthony as a father, except that was exactly what they needed. Someone who would cheer them up and cheer them on with the same radiance that Edmund embodied. Anthony hadn’t known how to best support them and was nearly at his wit's end when the Featheringtons had moved in across the street. Somehow little eight-year-old Penelope Featherington brought the Bridgerton family the warmth they had been missing, especially for the three middle siblings. She befriended Eloise easily, when up until that point Eloise had a new best friend every year. Eloise once again was unafraid to voice her opinion starting with no longer wanting to take piano lessons and instead switching to the bassoon. Colin began singing around the house again and often sang whole musical soundtracks to Gregory and Hyacinth, who always requested an encore. And she reminded Daphne what it was like to have friends and socialize outside of one’s family, leading to Daphne participating in multiple dance clinics and retreats and getting a spot on the dance team this year.

And now this young girl, who had made his family feel more complete than it ever had since losing Edmund, was in front of him needing some sort of assurance that he wasn’t sure how to give.

“Penelope, it's okay to want to grow and figure out who you are separate from Eloise or the rest of the family for that matter. Even if that means changing and enduring some growing pains.” Her eyes had started to glisten, collecting with tears, and her pouted lips were trembling as she nodded. Anthony continued, “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Colin or what Eloise is feeling or thinking, but I do know they love you and will always want the best for you. Is there anything I can do?”

Penelope shook her head and softly replied, “Thank you.”

“Since I doubt you want to come inside, though you’re always welcome, why don’t I stay here and make sure you get inside your house safely? But before you go, I hope you know I’m always here whenever you need a big brother. I know there are some mixed reviews, but I do always try to do the best I can.” Anthony chuckled, he knew he was sometimes hard on some of his siblings and that is something he would continue to work on.

His slight self-deprecating comment had the desired effect and Penelope grinned. “They know, Anthony. They know you try your best and only want the best for them.”

“Thank you, Penelope. Now go on, tomorrow will be another day.

The rest of the week continued the silence between Penelope and her two best friends. The two times she couldn’t catch the bus home because of Bees’ Knees meetings, Rosalie and her mom had driven Penelope home.  She still saw Daphne during their two shared classes and even worked on a worksheet together, so she knew she wasn’t on the outs with the entire Bridgerton family.  Daph had even offered her some tips for applying her makeup better.

It had been during social studies on Thursday when Mr. Ledger pulled her aside while the class was reading and asked her if she was free to cover the dance the next day— just a short write-up and maybe some quotes from the Spring Fling prince and princess nominees, for the final issue of the paper of the school year.

Since she had said yes, she now found herself walking into the brightly decorated school gym, occasionally still wobbling. Paper flowers, ribbons, and crepe paper lined the walls and almost seemed to bloom from the ground to hold up the drinks table. Instead of the harsh fluorescent lights, the gym was bathed in warm light from electric candles on the tables raised DJ stand, and fairy lights loosely wrapped in tulle. The overall effect made it seem like Persephone herself had walked through the room and declared it to be a warm spring day turning into a perpetual dusk; it was entirely magical. 

As she looked around in wonder already formulating phrases she would use in her article to describe the decorations and ambiance, she spotted Colin walking around and taking photos of the decor. Even without speaking for almost two weeks, they were still in sync. Trying to ignore that he was there was impossible, especially when she could feel down her spine the moment he had spotted her. She could feel his confusion and the pull between them but was resolved not to talk to him. He was the one who had overlooked her when considering asking her cousin to this very dance. One would think that if their friendship was as important to him as he always said it was, he would’ve sought her counsel and blessing so things wouldn’t be weird between them. I don’t even think about dating Colin outside of my dreams, not just because he wouldn’t be interested in me, but because I wouldn’t want to without considering Eloise since her friendship is important to me. If he wants my friendship he needs to be the one to approach me, Penelope thought in her ongoing internal monologue.

At some point, Penelope found herself standing at a high-rise table with a glass of lemonade off to the side where she could easily see and hear most of what was going on but remained partly obscured from most of the room. A forever wallflower, she thought to herself. That wasn’t exactly true though since Daphne had invited her to dance with her and her dance friends early on and in another pass by told Penelope there was a very cute boy from the swim team checking her out, but Penelope couldn’t summon enough enthusiasm for either suggestion.

“I didn’t think she could be even more pathetic, but did you see what Penelope Featherington was wearing?” The fake nasal voice when saying her name was unmistakable, Cressida Cowper. The giggles from her gaggle of minions surrounded Penelope’s mind and finally, the stress she had been carrying for the past few weeks was threatening to make a grand appearance in the form of tears. “I think tonight is the night I’ll finally give Colin Bridgerton the privilege of my company. You know he’s always eyeing me during newspaper meetings and finds any reason to give me edits just so he has a reason to speak to me.” Cressida tossed her hair over her shoulder, doubling down on her confidence in her statements. Not being able to physically listen to another word, Penelope walked as quickly as she could out of the gym without making a scene. Unfortunately, her path took her right past Cressida and her groupies.

“Oh no. Do you think she heard me?” Cressida snickered.

“Penny, where are you…” Daphne called after her, but as much as she loved Daphne she couldn’t bear having one of Colin’s sisters, or any Bridgerton for that matter, witness her breaking down in tears.

“Daph,” Rosalie said as she touched Daphne’s arm and pointed her head towards the mean girls who suddenly realized that one of the girls they most admired for her beauty and blunt honesty had overheard them. The last thing Penelope could hear as she made her hurried escape dodging the bodies of her classmates was Rosalie McCarty saying, “Seriously Cressida, I wouldn’t even dream about that, not in your wildest fantasies.”

——— * * * ———

“Pen..” Colin’s voice trailed after Penelope as she walked past him. He turned hoping that seeing where she had come from would offer some clue as to why Penelope walked past him with tunnel vision and looked like she was about to cry.  Not that he faulted her for walking past him without acknowledgment, that had become part of the course the past two weeks.

He had wanted to explain immediately that he hadn’t intended to ask Marina to the dance, that he had been trying to ask Penelope in the most low-pressure but still cute way possible. But even with the tension that had been building between the two cousins, Colin knew Marina was still important to Penelope and didn’t want to add more kindling to that fire by accidentally insulting Marina by correcting her after accidentally asking her out.

It wasn’t that he didn’t think Marina was pretty; she definitely was a very pretty girl. It’s just that Colin didn’t see the appeal in dating or any of the things that entailed. Anthony had told him he might be a late bloomer, but he certainly didn’t see how that was possible when every marker of puberty hitting him hard was evident by just looking at him. He was almost 5’6”—only a few inches shorter than Anthony and was battling acne on his face and some on his back, and voice lessons were at times frustrating as he navigated his voice getting lower. It wasn’t still odd that he couldn’t sing the same lines as Daphne.

What did it mean for him to maybe be a late bloomer? When he asked his mother she reminded him how Anthony had his first girlfriend when he was twelve and Benedict at thirteen, but only because he couldn’t decide which girl to flirt with more on any particular day. That had reminded him how he had walked in on his brothers with their respective girlfriends at various times over the years kissing in the family room when they were supposedly watching a movie. Sure, kissing sounded nice in principle and he was curious as to how it might feel, but he wasn’t going to kiss a girl just to find out.  Maybe it was because he spent so much time watching romantic movies with his mother, sisters, Penelope, or a combination of them, but he wanted his first kiss to be something sweet that he could treasure. There just wasn’t anyone he felt he knew well enough to even want to do that with or get to know more to see if that was a possibility. The only girls he enjoyed and wanted to spend time with were his mother, sisters, and Penelope. While Pen was the only one he wasn’t directly related to, she was still… Pen. He didn’t think of her as a sister, but she was basically a Bridgerton. Things just weren’t like that between them, she was barely finishing sixth grade for goodness sake; while he was now sometimes embarrassed when his mother would wake him up in the mornings and how some of those times had led to him washing and changing his bedding. So no, he didn’t think he was a late bloomer; he just didn’t understand dating or see anyone, not just girls, in that way.

Colin was mildly surprised to see Daphne and Rosalie standing in front of Cressida and her group of wannabes. Rosalie had that icy look on her face that meant it would be easier to move a glacier than to change her mind. Her quiet ferocity that seemed to always be at the ready and her clear moral compass were the two main reasons he admired her so much. He saw a similar fierce determination in Penelope and an equally strong sense of right and wrong; but where Rose was harsh freezing edges and a social butterfly able to float between groups, Penelope was softness and warmth at ease observing from the edges.

As he approached he caught his sister’s eye and nodded towards a nearby table. Once Daphne was within hearing range of a whisper he asked, “What happened Daph? Why did Penelope look like she was about to cry?”

Daphne sighed and took a deep breath, “She overheard Cressida bragging to her clones that she was going to dance with you tonight. I didn’t hear everything she said, but I don’t think it’s the first time she taunted Penny about you.” Daphne’s eyes were downcast, avoiding the fury that was surely building in Colin’s eyes.  She and Eloise would call them his storm eyes and would imitate tornado sirens to alert one another of his anger.  Colin wasn’t one to get angry often, not like Anthony who expected perfection from himself and everyone around him, but Colin did feel every emotion more strongly than any of the siblings.  The only people who could handle an angry Colin without making things worse were their mother and Penelope.

“I’m guessing Rose gave her a vicious reality check that I would sooner kiss Shrek than dance with her and he’s a fictional ogre that lives in a swamp.”

“He does have layers like an onion though. Cressida seems to only have one setting, mean girl, especially when it comes to Penelope.”

“She wishes she was a Regina!”

“Well, you do have a great head of hair like Aaron. Guess she didn’t get the memo that Aaron liked the redhead more than the blonde.”

Colin stared confused at his sister, what did that even mean, he thought. In response, Daphne waved her comment off and reached across the table to put her hand over his.

“What’s going on with you and Penny, Colin?” Colin opened his mouth but before he could get a word out, Daphne said, “And don’t tell me nothing or not to worry about it. Both you and Eloise have been mopey lately and I overheard Ant and Benny talking about Eloise getting upset.”

“You know you could ask Eloise instead.”

“Hah! As if I didn’t know my almost twin! She’s obviously upset that Penny wanted to try a new look, she doesn’t do well with any change. Remember how she was frozen because she was overwhelmed that Anthony bought a different brand of basically the same cereal one time?”

“Oh yeah. Well, you’re right as far as I know. She pulled a Lily seeing Mia’s new look after school on… Monday, I think. Wow, that feels like it was so long ago.”

“But you’re not Eloise and I don’t think you’re shallow enough to care that Penny is experimenting. I mean, you were with me when mom first took me to buy makeup for dance competitions.”

“It’s all my fault, Daph,” Colin said as he dropped his head into his hands. “It started as an accident and misunderstanding, but I thought I was doing the right thing by not correcting it right away but now it’s been two weeks and Pen hasn’t given me a chance to explain. And now she’s dressing differently, but I can tell she’s not comfortable. This isn’t her.”

“Two weeks, Colin! Seriously?” Daphne not so gently slapped her brother’s arm.

“I know! I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to talk to her like normal, but with less pressure by IMing her when we’re working in the newsroom, and if anything she’s giving me shorter responses.”

“Colin,” Daphne sighed and shook her head. “Colin if you tell El I said this, I will gladly punch your face, but you have to make her listen to you and not over IM when you’re sitting right next to each other.

After a moment of silence, Colin looked up to meet his sister’s hazel eyes and placed both hands on her arm, “I think I have an idea, but I’ll need your help. It might involve having to distract a certain chaperone here.”

——— * * * ———

“I’ve known people like Cressida, heck I was like Cressida in sixth grade. Hurt people will always find a way to hurt others. They are miserable and have to make others miserable so they don’t feel alone and vulnerable.”

When Penelope had run out of the gym, she had no idea where to go and as much as she didn’t like being a cliche she found herself in the girls’ bathroom. At least it wasn’t the one closest to the gym so she didn’t expect any interruptions as she let herself sob while sitting on the floor of the disability-accessible stall. Then much to her surprise Rosalie McCarty, came looking for her, sat next to her after crawling under the stall door, and waited quietly until Penelope was ready to talk.

“It’s not like my home life is all that great or something to envy.” Penelope took another wad of toilet paper to blow her nose before tossing it into the toilet.

“That’s a three-pointer,” both Rose and Penelope chuckled softly. “That may be true, but you do have the Bridgertons.” Penelope looked at Rose with wide eyes as they heard the door close. Then a head of reddish brown hair followed by the body of a tween girl came and joined them in the stall, sighing from the effort.

“Rose is right. It’s true. You’re basically a Bridgerton, Penny. I honestly can’t imagine my family without you,” Daphne Bridgerton beamed.

“I can’t believe you just army-crawled on the bathroom floor for me, Daph. Both of you! Ugh, what is my life?” Penelope couldn’t help it when giggles of disbelief bubbled out of her. It was only a few seconds before the other two girls joined in and soon they couldn’t stop.  They each had tears falling from their eyes and anytime it seemed they had settled down they would meet another’s eyes and start laughing all over again. Penelope savored the feeling of crying because she was laughing so much with arguably the most popular girl of her grade and one of the most popular, or at least most intimidating, girls in the school on the bathroom floor. 

“Penelope, why did you change your look so much so quickly? Don’t get me wrong, I love what you’re wearing right now and what you’ve worn this week. And the clothes look amazing on you, but not all of it seems very you. Like this dress, it would be more you with one of your cute cardigans.”

Sighing Penelope replied, “I was just telling Rose that Cressida made some comments after gym last week about how I wasn’t the kind of girl guys would ever give the time of day. And I don’t know it just got under my skin so much I had to do something.”

“I understand. It sucks being a girl sometimes.”

“Ain’t that the truth. You’re either too much or not enough,” Rosalie chimed in.

“I— I didn’t realize you guys felt that way too,” Penelope could feel herself starting to blush.

“Oh yeah. My mom is always on my case to look my best. It’s exhausting. But if I even so much as suggest that I’m more than a pretty face, she shuts me out. I’m taking pretty much all pre-AP classes next year as a freshman or at least starting the tracks that will lead to taking AP classes.”

“Beauty and brains, this one,” Daphne chuckled as she pointed towards Rose with her thumb.

“There’s still some time left for the dance, how about we pretend we’re starting the night over? We can wash off as much of the makeup you have on, Penelope, so you can at least feel more like yourself in that respect. Although I think I have some makeup remover in my locker, it’s all the way by the newsroom,” Rosalie trailed off.

“Oh, and I have some Violet Bridgerton-approved makeup in my backpack which I stashed in the newsroom! Although I’m only decent at doing my own makeup,” added Daphne.

“I could do your makeup to be more you using Daphne’s stuff if you want.” Both Daphne and Rosalie looked at Penelope waiting for her reply.

“You know what? Sure. Let’s do it.”

The three girls stood up and after they glanced at one another, they all went in for a group hug. After leaving the bathroom, Rosalie walked on Penelope’s right and Daphne on Penelope’s left; all three linking arms. As they made their way to the newsroom, Penelope resolved to visit the Bridgertons’ house tomorrow to talk things out with Eloise and if Colin was around and made an attempt to talk to her then she would hear him out.  If neither of those things happened then she knew she could always hang out with Daphne and Francesca as they played with little Hyacinth, who she could not believe was starting kindergarten next fall.

Penelope, feeling lighter than she had in the past few weeks, was laughing as Daphne finished telling a story about how Gregory and Eloise had managed to pull a prank on Benedict involving honey somehow as she put her hand on the doorknob to open the newsroom door, not noticing that there was light emanating from inside. Her laughter faded as she gasped seeing electric candles pilfered from the dance at the desk where she and Colin would sit including a bouquet of pink and purple paper flowers at her computer station. On the screen at the front of the room, a slideshow was playing of photos of her from throughout the school year, some were of her with Eloise or Daphne, some of her, Colin, and Eloise, but most were photos of her that were taken without her realizing. And at the front at the head of the table from where he would lead the newspaper meetings was Colin, rubbing his thumb on each of the pads of his fingers with his right hand— a habit he had when he was nervous. Penelope turned behind her to see the girls’ reactions. Maybe if they were as in awe as she was she could believe this was real and not just a figment of her imagination, but the door was closed.

“I think they wanted to give us some privacy, which might be a good thing if it means no one else sees me embarrassing myself.”

Penelope turned back to face Colin, bewilderment written across her features. What is happening? Wait, does he mean that he thinks apologizing to me or whatever this is is embarrassing? “If you want to avoid further embarrassment, I’ll leave then.”

“Wait, Pen. Please just hear me out. If by the end you still want to walk out that door, I won’t stop you.” Penelope wasn’t sure how she had missed it before, Colin wore his sadness like a cloak around him with his eyes like rain clouds that were about to break open. With slightly pursed lips she nodded once and Colin let out the breath he had been holding.

“I know what Cressida said to you tonight and she’s so so so so very wrong. You look very pretty tonight, I’m actually kinda speechless still ever since I saw you walk in.”

“It wasn’t just tonight.”

“What do you mean?” Pen began to open her mouth and instead closed it firmly and shook her head. Okay, a different approach, Colin thought to himself as he pulled out Penelope’s usual seat at the large table. “Why don’t you sit down? I can imagine that standing in heels all night is not the most comfortable.” Colin could see Penelope weighing his words, but she did walk further into the room and sat down.

Sitting next to her and looking into her guarded sky-blue eyes Colin began again, “I probably should’ve started with an apology. Pen, I am so sorry for not talking to you for the past two weeks. It’s no excuse, I was a coward. I had a plan and it blew up in my face and I froze because I didn’t know how to course correct. Then instead of admitting to my mistake regardless of the consequences, I avoided you so I wouldn’t have to deal with my failure. But that wasn’t fair to you, I’ve been a terrible friend. I should’ve just asked you instead of putting myself under so much unnecessary pressure.”

“Should’ve asked me what?”

“Gah, I’m doing such a bad job at apologizing. To the dance, I should’ve just asked you.”

“Why? You wanted to come with Marina. And that’s okay, she’s pretty, sweet, and was someone new that you hadn’t known since pre-K. I just wish you had talked to me first before you asked her. I thought you cared about what I thought.” Penelope looked away from Colin and blinked several times to hold back the tears that wanted to spill forth.

“I wanted to come with Marina?”

“Obviously. You asked her when I had gotten up to ask Mr.Ledger something. Since we’re being honest, it stung that you asked her via IM 'cause I thought that was our thing when we’re in here.”

“It is our thing. Pen don’t you see what happened?”

“Yeah, you asked out my cousin not realizing that you would hurt me, and are now apologizing saying you should’ve just asked me since you had stressed yourself out getting the courage to ask her only for her not being able to come to the dance anyway.” Colin was stunned into silence so Penelope continued, “This is all unnecessary just to apologize to me,” she waved her hand to indicate everything Colin had done to the room.

“No. No. That’s not it at all, Pen.” Colin reached over to put his hand over Penelope’s but she withdrew it and placed both hands in her lap under the table. “Pen please look at me when I tell you this. I don’t want you to have any doubts.” Slowly Penelope met Colin’s determined gaze. “I never wanted to come to the dance with your cousin. There’s only one person I wanted to be with here tonight and she’s sitting here next to me, looking into my eyes. Pen, this is my last middle school dance and as much as I don’t show it, I’m nervous about starting high school next year. To mark the end of this chapter of my life, I wanted to come here with you.” Colin ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this whole time that I wanted your help to write my final editor’s letter and wanted to use imagery from tonight as a basis for my last piece. And I couldn’t imagine anyone else trading witty observations and cheesy puns with me as we both document the end of this school year.”

“Wait, you wanted to come here with me?”

“Yes, Pen. You’re my best friend, of course, there was no one else I rather be here with.” The earnestness in Colin’s words was also shining from his eyes and straight to Penelope’s heart. “I don’t want to get sidetracked so we can talk about this later, but I don’t know if you’ve noticed that I’m not like the other boys my age.” Colin momentarily chewed on his lower lip as he carefully considered his next words. “I don’t date. I…I don’t understand dating even though part of me wants to, there’s just a disconnect between wanting it in principle but when it comes to putting it into practice, it doesn’t feel right.”

Penelope could tell this was something Colin would need to talk about later and possibly with someone with more experience than her, but she could also tell this was the first time he was even trying to voice what he was feeling. This meant he was trusting her and now it was her turn to trust him because she desperately missed her best friend. If Colin was talking to her, Eloise’s words wouldn’t have hit her so hard on Monday. Was that really only Monday? Ugh, this really has been the longest week and I’m so tired. Being a girly girl takes a lot of time and effort.

“I guess that means Cressida is even more wrong than we initially thought then.” A twinkle of curiosity lit up in Colin’s eyes as he tilted his head reminiscent of a puppy awaiting whatever came next. “Last week after gym class Cressida said you would never be interested in a girl like me. That of course you would be into someone like my cousin. And after you asked her out—” Colin lifted his hand and pointed a single finger in the air to interrupt Penelope. “I know, I know you were trying to ask me and accidentally asked her because you didn’t realize I was the one that stood up, not her”

“Wait, I hadn’t clarified that.”

“I know but that’s the only thing that makes sense according to what we’ve both said so far.”

“You’re brilliant. You know that, right? My brilliant freaking best friend.”

Penelope rolled her eyes. “As I was saying, after thinking you asked out my cousin without talking to me about it, Cressida’s words started to make some sense since it wasn’t far off from the kind of things my mom is always telling me. And once I was done feeling sad for myself, this happened.” Penelope motioned to her own body and Colin again couldn’t help thinking how pretty Penelope looked tonight, but then again she was pretty every day and he didn’t understand why this pretty, kind, and brilliant girl was his friend.

“Did you not notice the slideshow going on in front of us?” For a few minutes, they both watched as photo after photo of Penelope faded in and out on the screen in front of them.

“Colin, this is all very sweet of you but I don’t get it.” Penelope turned to face Colin as she spoke.

“It’s how I see you.” Colin continued to look up at the slideshow he put together in a hurry that included most of his favorite photos that he had taken of Penelope that school year, or at least the ones that were on his student drive on the school server. With every new photo that came up, he pointed out a trait he saw that made Penelope… well Penelope. “I see your kindness in your smile. Your intelligence and wit flash in your eyes with every quip you make. Look, you ability to love deeply in every hug you give someone. And your ferocity and determination when you square your shoulders after making a decision.”

Penelope felt herself getting lost in the glow radiating from Colin as he explained all the things he admired about her, his ever ocean eyes were warm pools that could soothe every hurt she had experienced since her cousin’s visit— no, every hurt she had experienced ever. As she took in Colin’s words, she felt herself starting to glow too. Maybe if Colin saw her this way, she could learn to see herself the same way.

Turning to face Penelope once again, “Pen, I don’t care if wear makeup and pretty dresses or have your hair in a messy bun while wearing old sweats as we stuff our faces with pizza during movie nights, you’re still you under all that. You are my best friend and I will always like you for being you, just the way you are no matter what you wear.” Colin allowed for a beat to pass so that his words could settle into the crevices carved out by Cressida’s bullying and her mother’s perpetual criticism. “And you’ll always be far more interesting and beautiful than Cressida Cowper,” Colin finished with Penelope’s favorite lopsided smile that reminded her of a golden retriever sometimes, puppy head tilt and all. With everything they had shared now ending with Colin’s trademark silliness and charm, Penelope couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“I guess it was a stroke of good luck for our friendship that Mr. Ledger asked me to cover the Spring Fling for the paper last minute yesterday.”

“Oh yeah, about that. Maybe it wasn’t good luck and instead, him taking pity on me?”

“Colin, explain.”

“I may have asked him to help me get you to come to the dance because I did genuinely want to know your observations and even if I didn’t figure out a way to apologize or get the chance to, then at least I could pretend we covered it together.” Colin let his head fall onto his arms that he had placed on the table to soften the blow. Penelope started giggling of all things while he felt that his embarrassment was about to burn him up.

“You know that gives me an idea for a new nickname for you, Teacher’s Pet.”

Colin lifted his head and with a sigh said, “I guess I could live with that one until you think of something better. It’ll remind me of my shame and that I would go to great lengths to save our friendship.”

“Oh yes. A regular knight in shining armor, for sure.” They both couldn’t help the laughter that sprung forth.

“Now, Miss Featherington while the night is still young and so are we, the dance is almost over and there is nothing I want to do more than dance with my best friend for all to see.” As he spoke Colin had stood up, pushed in his chair, and bowed while offering his hand to Pen.

“I don’t think I could say no to that, Mr. Bridgerton,” Penelope replied as she placed her hand in Colin’s. For his part, Colin wasn’t done surprising Penelope so as soon as their hands connected he gently and eagerly tugged her up and out of her chair pulling her into a hug, which Penelope quickly reciprocated once she realized she was surrounded by Colin and there was nowhere else she wanted to be. As they parted they continued to hold each other’s hands between them, Colin was almost tempted to start singing right there so they could dance in the classroom where they had spent so much time together. 

He was about to suggest they head back to the gym when they were both blinded by the overhead lights being turned on and as their eyes widened in surprise still staring at each other they turned when a familiar warm booming voice exclaimed, “Colin Bridgerton!”

“Mr. Ledger?!” Penelope squeaked.

“Grandfather!” Colin yelped and then looked past him to see an apologetic Daphne mouthing ‘Sorry, I tried.’

Confused, Penelope looked between Colin, Mr. Ledger, and Daphne before turning to face Colin. “Grandfather?” She asked while raising an eyebrow.

Feeling his ears and the back of his neck heat up, Colin raised his hand to his neck to hide at least some of the blush that was surely spreading there. “Yeah, about that.”

Chapter Text

An Interlude: Strawberry Meets Sparkles

March 2003

“Penelope quit your dilly-dallying and help your sisters carry in the boxes from the truck.  There’ll be plenty of time to take in the sights once we’re settled.”

“Yes, Mama.” Penelope Featherington gave one final wistful look to the park and wooden playground at the end of the street where she could hear kids playing. Maybe they’re around my age, she sighed and turned back to the task of unloading her belongings from the moving truck and into her new home.

It felt cruel that on the first warm day of the year, Penelope was stuck inside unpacking her room. It felt doubly cruel that it was also spring break and normally she would be spending this week at her cousin’s, Marina’s, house. Even if it was too cold to take a dip in the lake, it was nice to at least have the option of walking around its half-melted shore while sharing a thermos of hot chocolate.

Penelope searched around her looking for the next box of books to put on her bookcase, but when she realized it wasn’t next to her she stood to look around her room. “Spring and summer clothes, winter and fall clothes, shoes, dolls, hats and scarves, scrapbooks, desk stuff,” Penelope mumbled to herself as she looked at every box she had carefully labeled and nothing. She doubted the movers misplaced it since they were only moving the furniture and heavier boxes per her mother’s instructions. Looking out the window, Penelope noted that the sun was at its highest and brightest. Thinking she might have to go outside to find her box of books, she might as well grab a hat now rather than come back upstairs later. Having skin with barely more color than a sheet of printer paper, she was already hyper-vigilant about adequate sun protection at eight years old. Searching through one of the boxes she had yet to unpack she pulled out the glittery yellow bucket hat embroidered with daisies, that her older sisters had given her for her birthday last year, and put it on over her mess of red curls before making her way downstairs.

“Mama, Pru, Pip, have any of you seen the box with my Magic Tree House books?” Penelope called as soon as reached the landing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Nope! Check the truck!” Prudence and Philippa called back at the same time.

“Figures,” Penelope mumbled to herself. It wasn’t that she and her sisters didn’t get along or disliked each other, they had very different interests whether that was due to their age gaps— Prudence was the oldest at fourteen with Pip two years her junior— or something else entirely remained unclear. What was clear was that Penelope often felt like a lone island amongst her family, even more so now that they had moved away from her father. He didn’t offer much compassion or care but he at least didn’t find something new to criticize about Penelope every chance possible, unlike her mother while her sisters either joined in on the “loving teasing” or looked away so that they might not become targets themselves. It wasn’t surprising that her sisters had paid no mind to where Penelope’s books, and escape from her daily life, had gone.

After slipping on her sneakers, she made her way out the front door to the moving truck parked in the driveway. Penelope felt her heart fall into her stomach seeing that the ramp to walk into the truck had already been stored but there towards the back were some boxes on which she could make out her slightly scrawly penmanship. It seems she would have to jump to get on the truck, maybe even with a running start to build up momentum. She stepped as far back as she could with her back pressed against the garage door and started to run. Unfortunately for her at that moment the wind picked up and took her hat with it off towards the park across the street from the side of the house.

Penelope quickly changed courses and followed her hat, taking a quick moment to look both ways before crossing the street. Was the wind taunting her? Every time she was almost within reach of her hat it would flutter away. That is until the yellow glitter hat with her favorite flowers on it crossed into the airspace of the paved walking and biking path where a boy with brown wavy hair was riding his light blue and yellow bike. His face and the hat collided rendering him unable to steer his bike much less avoid the small pothole the city had yet to fill which caused the bike to swerve from under him and send him briefly flying then falling forward off the bike landing squarely on all fours in the patch of mud near where Penelope stood frozen in place.

For her part, Penelope was shocked as she watched the accident happen in what felt like slow motion. Her heart was pounding and she could feel her cheeks flame up a deep pink. She also felt a strong impulse to flee the scene of her crime but didn’t want to leave her hat there. While yellow was not her favorite color—it looked horrible on her and her mother had dressed her in what felt like nothing but yellow until recently. The silly glittery yellow hat still held some sentimental value since her sisters chose it for the daises embroidered all over it. She hadn’t thought her sisters knew many, if any, small details about her like what was her favorite flower or that she held a strong disdain for almost every shade of yellow. But when they gave her their gift last year Philippa could barely hold back before saying they looked for a pink hat but not finding one had settled on the yellow because it at least had the daisies.

The rush of adrenaline that coursed through Penelope’s veins eventually dissipated enough that she couldn’t ignore her instinct to apologize and see if the poor boy who had the misfortune of being blinded by her hat was alright. She also couldn’t ignore the sense of dread that washed over her as she pondered the likelihood that he would react in anger from her carelessness. Isn’t that how her father would always react sometimes and her mother nearly every time?Approaching him, she began to extend a small slightly shaking hand to tap his shoulder then thought better of it quickly snapping her hand back to her side as she noted that the boy with soft chestnut curls was shaking with… is he laughing?

“I’m… s…so, are you,” Penelope started to say barely above a whisper but was silenced when she was met with dark blue eyes full of laughter and some tears.

“Well that wasn’t very well done of me, was it?” As his laughter faded he continued, “I didn’t splash you with mud when I fell did I?” The boy asked her as he looked her over quickly checking for any incriminating mud stains. “I think this hat had it out for me. Is it yours?” He wiped one hand on a clean patch of his jeans and gently picked up the yellow hat that had landed in the grass next to him.

Penelope was speechless and could only give a small nod as a response. She wondered who was this boy and why wasn’t he mad at her. Her silly absurdly bright yellow glittery hat caused him to fall off his bike and into the mud. Her eyes slowly moved over his frame as she avoided looking into his eyes which sparkled with a level of kindness and concern that was completely foreign to her. Lord knew her sisters would not have reacted the same way had they been in his situation.

She began to lift her hand to point at a faint red stain beginning to bloom on his jeans, but remembering her mother’s many reprimands that it was impolite to point, she let her hand fall back to her side. “Ummm, your knee,” she said as she tapped her right knee. Penelope could feel her eyes begin to water as she realized this would surely be the end of his good mood and he would react with the anger she had expected.

“Oh. Cool! Now I’ll have a scar to show off when school starts again next week. But I guess my mom won’t be happy about it,” he trailed off as he noticed how wide Penelope’s eyes had gotten and how they seemed to shimmer with unshed tears. “Are you okay? My sister gets squeamish about blood too. It’s okay if you need to cry.” Realizing he was still on the ground he stood and placed her hat on her head before wiping away the few tears that had escaped her eyes. “I want to give you a hug but I don’t want to cover you in mud.” He looked around frantically as he tried to think of how to help this girl he just met not feel sad anymore. He didn’t know her but he felt an ache in his chest at seeing her eyes as wide and as blue as the sky full of tears.

“You-you're not mad at me?” That caught his attention and he searched her eyes.

“Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?”

“My hat. It made,” she was interrupted by a small hiccup as she tried to control her tears. This wasn’t a time to be the crybaby Prudence constantly accused her of being. “It made you fall and hurt your knee.”

“No no no. That wasn’t your fault. Well unless you can control the wind, then I guess it would be your fault if your goal was for your hat to fly into my face,” a grin began to grow on his face. “If that’s the case then I would not be above begging to be your best friend 'cause that would be a cool superpower to have. We could easily win the kite contest this summer and every summer forever!”

Penelope couldn’t help the small smile that started to form from watching as he became more and more animated at the possibilities if she had what he considered a superpower.

“So was it on purpose cause you can control the wind as a superpower?”

A soft giggle bubbled out of Penelope as she shook her head and the boy’s heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest at the sound.

“Drat. Well, at least I’ll still have a cool scar to remember how I met my newest friend.” They both stood there momentarily smiling at one another, though they were young both felt like this was one of those moments where the world seemed to shift around them with the potential to define their lives moving forward as it held them as if they were suspended in time.

“I’m Co—,” he began.

“I should head back before my mom gets mad if she can’t find me,” Penelope looked off towards her house imagining her mother searching for her and not finding her in the front yard. She moved to take a tentative step in that direction.

“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you around.” Penelope glanced back to this surprising boy in front of her to once more take in the kindness that shined brightly from his eyes and smile.

“Yeah. Umm, bye.” She gave a small wave as she walked away in a daze.

Once she was safely back inside her new home, Penelope felt like she was floating as she made her way back to her bedroom where she found her mother setting down the box of books she had forgotten about amidst the debacle caused by the wind and her hat.

“There you are, Penelope. The movers found the box of books you were looking for at the back of the truck.” Taking in the appearance of her youngest, Portia Featherington tutted her tongue and said, “Please clean off the mud on your legs before dinner. Honestly, Penelope, I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.”

Glancing down Penelope noticed the specks of mud on her legs that the boy she had met failed to notice earlier, “Yes Mama I will. I’m sorry that you couldn’t find me earlier” She replied as her mother walked out of the room.

——— * * * ———

The following day was just as lovely outdoors with the sun shining high in the sky, but fortunately no wind. It was even better because it was one of those rare occasions that Penelope’s sisters invited her to tag along with them, although she suspected their mother just wanted all three girls out of the house so she could organize their new home in the way she saw fit. For now, Penelope happily took in the sights of her new town as she walked with her sisters and listened to them discuss the shops they passed.

On the next block stood a building taller than the rest with a set of concrete stairs that led to the front door. Each step was painted and bore the name of a well-known book; wow, that must be the library. It’s bigger than the one back home, Penelope thought to herself. She wasn’t the only one who had noticed the building with what seemed to be a patio area on the second floor.

“Penny, look! I think that’s the library,” Philippa turned around and excitedly pointed out the structure. “Do you wanna go in and get a library card? Pru and I can meet you later after we shop around.” While Penelope did enjoy the few chances she had to spend time with her sisters away from their mother’s hypercritical eyes, she could never resist the pull of spending quality alone time with books and thus quickly nodded in agreement.

“Okay it’s almost eleven,” Prudence said as she checked her watch, “we’ll meet you at the front entrance at one o’clock and then go get lunch. Got it?”

“Got it,” Penelope beamed at her eldest sister, already giddy about having so much time to explore on her own.

“Good. Now hurry along, we’ll wait to watch you go inside.”

“Thanks, Prudence,” Penelope waved as she nearly skipped across the street and up the stairs.

The smell of paper and ink immediately enveloped Penelope in a cloak of warmth and comfort when she walked inside, quickly locating the front information desk. There she met one of the librarians who helped her sign up for a library card and directed her towards the children’s section on the second floor. She felt like Charlie entering Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory with her library card as her golden ticket. The librarian had even told her that they had an old school bus, named Booker, refurbished to be a library on wheels that would drive around town stopping in the different neighborhoods so kids could check out books, and her new neighborhood was one of the stops every other Thursday afternoon. Maybe moving to this new town in the middle of spring break during third grade wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

It wasn’t long before Penelope had a small stack of books at her feet while she sat in one of the beanbag chairs she found in the children’s section reading the first in a new series she hadn’t heard of before.

“Oooo the Dear America series, my older sister loves those books. I’m more of a Junie B. Jones fan myself,” Penelope looked up in surprise from the book in her lap to see a girl around her age letting herself drop into the empty beanbag chairs beside her. “No one was sitting here, right? My brothers say I have a habit of making myself comfortable without asking first. They also think I talk too much, but I think all big brothers are supposed to think that about their little sisters. I mean if they didn’t want me to talk so much they should have more interesting thoughts to share. Don’t you think?”

“Ummm, I wouldn’t know. I only have older sisters but we don’t spend much time together.”

“Well, you’re lucky. Brothers can be so annoying. They’re never useful when you need them to be but they are always in your space when you don’t want them around. But maybe that’s just my family since there are so many of us.”

Realizing she wasn’t going to get a chance to resume her reading, Penelope used the ribbon bookmark attached to the book to save her spot in the book and closed it before giving this new girl her full attention. Besides her cousin Marina, Penelope didn’t have many friends so she wasn’t going to waste this moment to make a new one, unlike yesterday when she was too tongue-tied to even introduce herself to the boy she met.

“I’m Penelope. How many of you are there?”

“Oh yeah, I’m Eloise Bridgerton. I guess I should’ve introduced myself first before telling you all about my family.” Eloise paused to laugh at herself below her breath. “Like I said, my brothers think I always get ahead of myself. They say that my mouth talks faster than my brain can think, but that doesn’t make much sense does it? I mean obviously, you have to think even a little bit about what you’re going to say before you say it since it’s not like any part of our bodies can suddenly do something without our brains first telling it what to do.

Anyway, my name is Eloise but I’ve never lived at The Plaza. I guess I told you that already.” Penelope giggled as her new friend tried to get back to her original train of thought. “But what I was trying to lead up to saying is that I’m number five out of eight and all my siblings are named in alphabetical order. I’m the second girl so obviously, I’m the best. Not that Daphne is the worst since she’s the first girl, she isn’t. I guess if you ask anyone they might think she’s the best because she’s annoyingly perfect, but I still love her. I think the rhyme applies more to my three older brothers.”

“What rhyme?” Penelope knitted her brows in confusion trying to follow Eloise’s thoughts.

“You know the one ‘first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with a hairy chest’. It definitely applies to my big brothers, except Colin doesn’t have a hairy chest. Can you imagine?! He’s only ten anyway. I’m eight, but I’ll be nine in June.”

“I’m eight too,” Penelope immediately brightened at the thought that her new friend was in the same grade and possibly the same class if she went to her new school.

“I wonder why I haven’t seen you around before if we’re in the same grade. I feel like I would’ve seen you at least at the annual field day between all the elementary schools in town.”

“That’s cause I just moved here this week.” Eloise began to smile even wider as she asked what neighborhood Penelope had moved into before remembering there had been a moving truck at the house across the street the day before and asked if that was her family. From there the girls quickly settled into an easy conversation about their families, music, and books. Penelope couldn’t believe her luck that not only did Eloise live across the street from her, which meant that they would be going to the same school, but that Eloise had already decided that Penelope was her best friend even though they just met. Penelope had never been someone’s best friend before, not even Marina’s since her cousin had friends at her school. It was as Penelope was telling Eloise that she had to go and meet her sisters for lunch that the girls were interrupted by a much older boy who had the same voluminous straight brown hair as Eloise.

“Penelope, this is my old brother Benedict. Benny Eggs, this is my new best friend Penelope.” Eloise made the introductions as she casually gestured one to the other with her hand, with no further motion that might indicate she would be getting up from her spot soon.

“Seriously El? I thought I told you not to call me that.” Penelope noted that Eloise was holding back laughter as she rolled her eyes at her brother’s mild outrage. Meanwhile, though he expressed being annoyed, Benedict’s eyes had a glint of adoration for his sister’s silliness and shined with humor. “We better go El, Mom wanted us to pick up a few things for Colin’s birthday while we’re out.”

“Oh! Penelope, you have to come to my brother’s birthday party on Friday. He’s the one turning eleven. We’re having like five different types of pie this year since his birthday is on pi day and we’re celebrating on his actual birthday and Colin is a nerd that likes math now.” Eloise’s excitement at inviting her new friend shone on her face like a neon sign and Penelope couldn’t help but smile at the invitation.

“Are you sure that’s okay? I don’t even know your brother and it's his birthday.”

“It’s fine, right Ben? Please say Penelope can come over. She just moved in across the street from us.” Eloise turned to face her favorite brother. A fact that she had shared with Penelope earlier.

“You know Colin won’t mind, he’s a the more the merrier type of kid. If it’s alright with your parents, I don’t see why not. There will be plenty of kids there just with us, not to mention Colin’s friends from school, so what’s one more person,” Benedict shrugged as he replied.

“See I told you he was the best,” Eloise beamed at the redheaded girl who was her new best friend and was quickly becoming one of her favorite people. “Just like the rhyme, Anthony is the worst, Benedict is the best, and Colin is the one with the not-yet hairy chest.”

“Really, El? Is that how you think of us like one of those playground rhymes? But I guess if I’m the best, I can’t really complain about it too much. Maybe Colin will be the one to inherit Grandfather’s hairy chest” Benedict chuckled to himself as he motioned for Eloise to get up so they could leave. Penelope stood as well noticing that it was almost one when she glanced at the nearby clock.

“Ewwww, Ben. I did not need to imagine our brother with Grandfather’s hairy chest.”

“You’re the one that mentioned Colin being the one with a hairy chest like in the rhyme.”

Penelope smiled to herself as she followed the bickering siblings down to the first floor and towards the front entrance.

“You said your sisters are meeting you here, right?” Eloise turned to ask Penelope as they neared the front doors.

“Yup, they should be getting here soon.”

“Okay well, I guess I’ll see you the day after tomorrow at my brother’s birthday party. It starts at two pm, right Ben?” Eloise turned to her brother to confirm, which he did with a nod. “And don’t worry about a present or anything, Colin said he didn’t want any gifts this year anyway.” Penelope nodded as she internally let out a sigh of relief. The new friends briefly hugged goodbye before Eloise was bounding down the stairs already bickering with Benedict about something else.

Hope was a foreign sensation, but that was the only word Penelope could think of to describe the warmth spreading inside her as she sat down on the bench outside the main doors to the library to wait for her sisters. Maybe the blue-eyed boy from yesterday would be at the birthday party as well since he looked to be just a bit older than her, but not as much as Benedict.

——— * * * ———

“Now Penelope, you need to be on your best behavior and try to make a good impression today while at the Bridgerton’s for that boy’s birthday.”

“Colin, my new friend Eloise’s brother,” Penelope interrupted.

“Right, Colin.” Portia sighed as she walked across the street with her youngest daughter. “I don’t know how you managed it, but the Bridgertons are a very important family in this town. Their family has been here for centuries, practically since the town’s founding, so we’re very lucky to make any sort of connection with them so quickly after we moved here.” After glancing down at the quietly excited little girl at her side, Portia continued, “I am glad you’ve made a friend so quickly, Penelope, I know it can be hard with your sisters being much older than you.” Penelope met her mother’s gaze and smiled at this rare moment of connection and understanding between them. “But you really should’ve worn the yellow dress from last Easter, yellow is such a happy color and perfect for showing that you’re a happy girl.”

Penelope forced the smile to stay on her face despite her mother’s words as they waited for someone to answer the door. She rather thought her blue dress with pink flowers on the bodice and hem was pretty and happy-looking; it certainly made her happy when she chose it.

“Ahh, you must be Penelope, my daughter Eloise has not been able to stop talking about her new best friend that moved in across the street.” A woman with chestnut brown waves and the kindest hazel eyes that Penelope had ever seen opened the door and greeted them. The woman reminded her of Belle from Beauty and the Beast if she was an adult, which made Penelope feel at ease since Belle was her favorite princess.

“Yes, this is my youngest girl, Penelope. I’m Portia Featherington, her mother.”

“Hello,” Penelope added with her now genuine smile.

“Violet Bridgerton. It’s a pleasure to meet you both. Like I said, my daughter Eloise has been very excited since meeting Penelope at the library the other day.”

As if by magic, Eloise suddenly appeared at her mother’s side. “Penelope! You’re here! Come on, we’re all out back. Anthony surprised us with a magician!” Eloise had already begun to tug her new friend’s hand towards the backyard before Penelope had a chance to properly ask her mother if it was okay, but when she turned to look at her Portia was already nodding her approval as she continued to speak to Mrs. Bridgerton. Maybe her mama would be able to make a new friend too, she didn’t seem to have many in their old town and she could probably use a friend just as much as Penelope could.

As the girls scurried away to get a good spot for the magic show, Portia was telling Violet that she would be back later to pick up her daughter. But being the ever-welcoming host insisted she stay or even better go back home and bring her older daughters over as well, the more the merrier. Portia compromised and agreed to stay for an hour at least so she could meet some of the other mothers in the neighborhood and agreed to allow Violet or one of her eldest sons to walk Penelope back home so that she could enjoy the party to the fullest. When Penelope noticed her mother mingling with the other adults outside a few minutes later she thought, yes Mama should make new friends too. She deserves not to be alone.

——— * * * ———

“See I told you we were having at least five types of pie! There’s like a dozen on this table and there’s birthday cake too later 'cause it’s not a real birthday without cake.” Penelope laughed as Eloise explained all the food options while they waited for the catering staff to fix their plates. While she was listening to Eloise, she was also taking in her surroundings. The Bridgertons had a big backyard with what seemed to be a small greenhouse towards the back with a small vegetable garden nearby, a set of swings on the biggest and oldest tree, and a fire pit with enough chairs and benches to seat more than a dozen people.  In addition to the magician, they had also rented a bouncy castle for the occasion. Penelope had never been to such a big party for a kid before and she wondered if eleven was just a special age for the Bridgerton family or if every birthday was this big of a celebration.

“Is that for me, El? You are too kind, thinking of your favorite brother and how hungry he must be after helping get everything set up for this party.” Benedict, Penelope reminded herself of Eloise’s brother’s name when he came to stand behind them and interrupt their conversation.

“No, Ben It’s for me and Penelope to share. You can get your own food.” Despite her protests, Benedict still took a single chip from her plate.

“Hey, Penelope. It’s nice to see that you made it. Hopefully with you around, Ellie Belly here will stay out of trouble long enough for the party to go smoothly.” Penelope giggled as Eloise gave the very mature response of sticking her tongue out at Benedict. “Has she introduced you to all of the Bridgertons at least?”

“No, she hasn’t yet. Are there really eight of you?” Penelope giggled again before looking at Benedict with her big blue eyes that gave Benedict a sense of deja vu that had nothing to do with the fact that he had met the little girl earlier that week, there was just something else that was familiar about her when he looked into her eyes at that moment.

“Yup,” he replied letting the ‘p’ pop at the end. “Let’s see if I can point everyone out from here.” Benedict moved to now stand behind Penelope as they faced out towards the rest of the party. “Okay over there by the bouncy castle in the red t-shirt is Anthony, he’s the oldest.”

“And the worst according to El,” Penelope added much to Eloise’s and Benedict’s delight as both siblings burst into laughter.

“That’s right! He’s not all that bad, he just can be kind of strict in trying to take care of all the younger kids since it’s just our mom around.” Noting and filing away the sudden air of sadness at Benedict’s words, Penelope gave her best encouraging smile so he would continue as she silently reached her hand over to Eloise’s and gave it a squeeze trying to convey that she understood and it was okay to be sad for whatever the reason.

“Anyways, over there on the green plaid blanket in the light blue dress with reddish brown hair and holding the chubby little toddler is Daphne she’s in third grade too like Ellie here. And the toddler she’s holding is our littlest sister, Hyacinth.”

“El, you didn’t tell me you’re a twin,” Penelope turned in surprise to face Eloise.

“That’s cause I’m not, although Daph does go around and say we’re almost twins.”

“Our dear Ellie here was born a couple of months early because she just couldn’t wait to enter the world and make a difference. And since our mom got pregnant so soon after Daphne was born, she and El ended up being in the same grade when it came to school.” Benedict chuckled as he ruffled Eloise’s hair. “Oh and then by coincidence exactly a year later, our sister Francesca joined the family so she and El share a birthday. And she’s the girl that just sat down with Daphne and Hyacinth. Then over there with our mom is Gregory. It looks like he just woke up from his nap.”

Penelope quickly spotted the youngest Bridgerton brother yawning and rubbing his eyes with one hand as the other held one of Mrs. Bridgerton’s. She marveled at the fact the Bridgertons were such a large family and from the little time she had spent with them so far she could tell they loved each other very much in ways that Penelope had never experienced with her own family. “That’s only seven of you,” she pointed out.

“Of course, we can’t forget the birthday boy. He should be here somewhere,” Benedict pondered as he looked around for his younger brother.

“Normally you can count on Colin to be next to the food, but we’re here and he’s not,” Eloise added as she also looked around for him.

It was while all three were distracted searching for the third Bridgerton brother that Penelope felt a soft tap on her shoulder before being pulled into a hug. She had tensed up at first but relaxed once she felt a wave of kindness and peace as warm arms pulled her close and she recognized the voice that accompanied those arms. Even with the surprise and her eyes closing as she relaxed into the hug she could already imagine the dark blue eyes from earlier in the week in her mind.

“It’s you, the girl with the yellow hat. I was hoping to see you again and now here you are! I haven’t even made my wish while blowing out the candles on my cake and it already came true.”

“Colin, I don’t think Penelope can breathe. I’ll be very upset if you hurt my new best friend,” Penelope could hear the exasperation in Eloise’s voice as the boy who had fallen off his bike thanks to her hat— Colin, she told herself, slowly released her from the hug but still kept his hands on her arms and slowly let them slip down until he was holding both of her hands with his.

“El, don’t you understand? This is the girl I was telling you all about that I met when I fell off my bike on Tuesday. Didn’t I tell you she had the prettiest red hair and not reddish brown like Daph, but actually red and blue eyes as big and bright as the sky?”

Hearing Colin once again tell them about the girl he met, and how she was apparently Penelope, it struck Benedict why he had felt a sense of deja vu when he looked into her eyes earlier. Seeing her eyes that close and wide with openness, it was like he could hear Colin’s description ringing in his head even though he couldn’t quite make it out.  And now watching Eloise and Colin discuss who was Penelope’s best friend, he had a sense that this wouldn’t be the last time this argument between them would take place but that eventually neither of them nor any of the other Bridgertons would be able to imagine their lives without this little redheaded girl with blue eyes as big and bright as the sky.

“It’s my birthday. So later when I’m blowing out my candles, I want you standing right next to me and be in all the photos no matter what Eloise or anyone else says. I did meet you first after all,” Colin’s voice rang out quickly followed by Penelope’s giggle interrupting Benedict’s thoughts. He took that moment to look at his little brother and saw how he stood up a little straighter and seemed to brighten just a touch more after hearing that giggle.

Sure enough, a few hours later when the caterers rolled out the birthday cake for Colin to make his wish after everyone sang happy birthday, Penelope was standing on his right with her hand in his since he refused to let go of his new friend unless absolutely necessary for the rest of the party. On Penelope’s other side stood Eloise with her arm over Penelope’s shoulders in every photo of that moment, with the biggest smile anyone had seen for the longest time.

Years and years later when Colin would be looking back at the photos from his eleventh birthday party trying to find the perfect one for a project he was working on, he would decide that was the week the sun came back into his life— and that of his family’s for that matter, since his father had passed away eight months prior to when the Featheringtons moved in across the street. It was Pen. It has always been Pen. She brought the sunshine back, he would think to himself as he traced the face of his Pen, his Sparkles, his best friend in the photograph. But that would be in the future.

It was that night as Penelope journaled before bed that she reflected on the life-altering week she had experienced. She had found two new best friends and several other new friends in the Bridgertons, the wonderful family across the street, her mother was still critical but also seemed more relaxed this week alone since leaving her father, and most of all she felt hope for what might be the first time in her life.

As she was closing her eyes to fall asleep a set of realizations struck her. About three things she was absolutely positive. First, Colin Bridgerton had the most remarkable blue eyes— two oceans she would willingly drown in, that somehow shined even brighter when he was kind. Second, he was Eloise’s big brother and she did not ever want to lose her friendship. And third, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Chapter Text

Chapter Five: His New (Girl) Friend

September 2006

“Colin! If you want a ride to school, you have ten minutes!”

Colin gritted his teeth and took a deep breath before poking his head out of the open bathroom door to reply to his brother. “Cool your horses, Benedict! I’ll be ready soon!” Once again, Colin started the deep breathing exercise his therapist taught him over the summer. Today was the first day of school. It also happened to be his first day of high school and needless to say, he was nervous. No, not nervous, he was anxious. This was going to be a whole new school, filled with kids he didn’t know and teachers who didn’t know him. And he had Anthony’s and Benedict’s footsteps to follow.

Sure he was already a part of the school paper, but this time the faculty advisor wasn’t going to be Grandfather Ledger. Who was he supposed to go to if he was having an off day? It’s not like he could go interrupt whatever class Benedict was in, but he was the only other person he really would know at this new school. One good thing is that at least Grandfather Ledger would be keeping an eye out for Pen. Pen, he smiled to himself as he thought about his best friend and how it had taken until almost the start of summer break for her to talk to him long enough so he could apologize for not telling her that their school paper advisor and social studies teacher was also his maternal grandfather. In his defense, Penelope had been such a big part of the Bridgertons’ lives since she moved to town that they all just assumed she already knew. They would mention now and then about visiting with their grandfather, but it turns out no one ever said his last name nor mentioned what their mother’s last name was before Bridgerton.

“Colin! Hurry your butt up. Five minutes!” Benedict hollered up the stairs. After a pause and some whispering he added, “Penny Anne is here!”

Penelope, Colin thought he must’ve conjured her into his home by thinking about her. Just knowing she was downstairs calmed his heart rate and grounded him to the present. He closed his eyes and took one final deep breath before looking into his reflection once more and realized he did look ready for school. I can do this. I can do this. I’ve done harder things and I can do this.

The first thing Colin heard when he reached the bottom of the stairs was his favorite music, Penelope’s giggle. She was sitting between Hyacinth and Eloise at the kitchen island a plate with a piece of toast and some blueberries in front of her while she was wiping some jam from Hyacinth’s face. He took the moment before anyone noticed him to watch in awe at how much confidence Penelope had gained in the last year and how seamlessly she fit in with his family. If anyone were to ask Hyacinth who was her favorite sister she would say, Penelope, no contest.

This morning Penelope had chosen to wear her hair half up and half down with a shimmery blue headband that almost matched her eyes to hold back the extra springy front pieces of hair. Those pieces happened to be Colin’s favorite. The freckles along her collarbones seemed to sparkle in contrast with the white eyelet shirt she was wearing. Colin had teased he could play connect the dots with how prominent her freckles had gotten during the summer. Penelope had laughed as she playfully slapped his arm in reply. As Colin savored that summer memory, Penelope turned and saw him.

Was it possible that he became more beautiful overnight? Penelope smiled at her best friend as she looked him over and then nodded. To which he let out a dramatic sigh and put one of his hands to his heart in faux relief at having her approval. Penelope merely shook her head while chuckling at his antics.

“There you are dearest. I fear your brother was going to storm upstairs any moment. Here is a breakfast sandwich for you to eat in the car. I also packed you an extra-large lunch so you can have your energy up for auditions after school.” If there was an award for the best, kindest, and most devoted mother, Violet Bridgerton would be the person to beat.

“Thanks, Mom. I better get going before Ben decides to bite my head off or worse, leave without me.” Colin leaned down to give his mom a quick hug and a peck on the cheek.

“Geez Colin, you took longer than Daph getting ready today. If I’m late to do the morning announcements, it’ll be your fault.”

“Don’t tease your brother, Eloise. It’s a big day for him. You’ll be at school with plenty of time.” Violet chastised her daughter after pulling her in for a hug and handing her her water bottle.

“Let’s just get to the car, El.” Colin breezed by Eloise as she let out a ‘humph’ and caught up to Penelope in time to open the front door for her.

“I thought you didn’t like being called Penny and were only humoring Ben this summer.”

“Good morning to you too, Colin. Me? I guess I’m a little nervous that it’s the first day of school but I’m looking forward to being in class again,” Penelope replied to Colin with a small smirk as they walked to the car.

“Shotgun!” Daphne was the last one to race out of the house carrying her dance duffle bag on one shoulder and backpack on the other and quickly overtook Eloise who had been making quick strides towards the passenger seat.

“Seriously, Daph? That’s not fair.”

“Should’ve called it sooner, El. You know the car rules,” Benedict shrugged his shoulders as he unlocked the Bridgertons’ van.

After laughing at his siblings' antics, Colin opened the door and moved the seat forward so Penelope would sit in the third row with him, “Pen, after you.”

“Thank you, good sir,” Penelope giggled after accepting Colin’s hand to help her up into the van. After the two had settled she turned to him, “You’re right, I don’t like being called Penny. But-”

“I knew it! Cause that’s what you said in the spring when your cousin was visiting and you would cringe every time she called you Penny Lane.”

“I did not cringe every time.”

“Yes, you did,” Eloise added from the second row. “You told me that ever since Marina started calling you that, you had refused to listen to The Beatles around her.”

“Wait, I didn’t know that!” Benedict responded from the driver’s seat. “I can stop calling you Penny Anne. I just thought it was cute how it was similar to Barbara Ann, you know that song by The Beach Boys. I’m sorry.”

“See what you started,” Penelope whispered to Colin, who visibly paled at the thought that his best friend might be irritated with him. “Ben, you’re fine. You can keep calling me Penny Anne. It doesn’t bother me because one you don’t do it all the time, two at least Anne is my middle name, and three it’ll always remind me of this past summer at Aubrey Hall.” Penelope giggled then sighed, “I mean we did agree, it’s not summer without The Beach Boys.”

“Whatever, I’m still calling you Pen.”

“Of course, Ellie Belly.”

“Wait, I thought we weren’t allowed to call you that anymore?” Colin asked.

“Only Penelope can call her that and sometimes Hyacinth on occasion,” added Daphne from the passenger seat as she looked for a suitable radio station.

“We’ll find our own set of nicknames eventually,” Colin whispered into Penelope’s ear.

“So Colly Wobbles is a no-go? I thought it was cute,” Penelope couldn’t resist teasing her best friend knowing how much he loathed that name.

“Colin let you call him Colly Wobbles at least a few times?” Francesca turned to excitedly face the pair with eyes full of the laughter she was clearly holding back.

“No, I did not. I vetoed it as soon as she used it once.” Colin crossed his arms and turned to look out the window.

“Don’t get upset, Colly Wolly” Penelope could barely hold back her giggles as she leaned over to hug Colin’s arm that was closest to her. Has he gained muscle this summer? When did that happen, I’ve seen him pretty much every day, Penelope felt the beginning of a blush spreading across her face. At the same time, Colin swore his heart fluttered at the sound of her giggle and the feeling of her hands on his arm. Flexing his bicep was an automatic reaction from his body.

“Pen…” Colin whispered with the most threatening tone he could muster, which is to say none.

“You’re right, we’ll continue our search. Something special just for us.” Penelope released his arm as if it was starting to burn her and Colin instantly missed her touch.

——— * * * ———

The rest of the school week passed by in a blur for Penelope and soon enough it was Friday and she was back at Bridgerton house with Eloise, Daphne, and Frannie comparing new teachers and syllabi while decorating the paper bag covers of their textbooks they had just finished wrapping at the kitchen island and eating sandwiches Mama Bridgerton had prepared for them. Penelope adored her after-school routine of snacks and homework with the Bridgerton siblings. It was her reprieve from the sometimes grueling school day, which there will surely be plenty since Cressida Cowper was in three out of her seven classes this year. Luckily she did share four classes with Eloise, two with Daphne, and hopefully, Cressida won’t be on the paper this year. Afternoons at the Bridgertons also served as a time of peace before she inevitably had to go back home for dinner with her family. With this year being Prudence’s senior year, her mother had made it mandatory for the family to eat dinner together as often as possible before Penelope’s eldest sister went away for university.

But today was Friday and that meant it was the night of her weekly sleepover with Eloise and she wouldn’t be expected back home until Saturday midmorning at the earliest.

“Oh Penelope, could you draw some of those really pretty dahlias and poppies on my math textbook?” Frannie tucked her hair behind her ear as she met Penelope’s eyes.

“Of course, Frannie. Do you want some hobbit homes on your social studies textbook too?” Colin had recently gotten his younger sister hooked on Lord of the Rings and Penelope knew she couldn’t get enough of the hobbits and would joke that if Colin wasn’t so tall he would make for the perfect hobbit with how often thought of and talked about food.

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all. If I don’t finish it now I will later while we watch whatever movie Daphne picks tonight. It’s your turn tonight right, Daph?”

“No, it’s my turn!” Eloise chimed in.

“El your turn was last week. Remember we switched since I had that preseason dance sleepover?”

“Oh yeah. Well, I guess pick something good.” Daphne rolled her eyes at Eloise’s rather lackluster retort.

“I’m thinking it’s the perfect night for a classic, The Princess Bride!”

“Did someone say Princess Bride?”

“Colin! You’re home!” A small human zipped right past them.

“Where did she come from?” Eloise leaned over to whisper in Penelope’s ear as they watched Hyacinth practically tackle Colin then as he lifted her into his arms and twirled her around once, twice, and a third time before setting her back down on the ground. Penelope let out a giggle as she smiled watching the adoration that vibrated between the two siblings. She knew Colin didn’t have a favorite sibling, but gun to his head he would say Hyacinth without hesitation. This might have happened that summer during a game of truth or dare with a Nerf gun that Hyacinth herself was holding, but the sentiment remained true.

“How was your first week of school? Have you been made the queen of the first grade yet, Squirt?” Colin smoothed down Hyacinth’s hair which had gone awry from their twirling. Penelope tightened her grip on the pencil she was holding, reminding herself it would be beyond inappropriate to first be jealous of Hyacinth and second to walk over to Colin herself to fix his hair by running her fingers through his messy waves.

“It’s harder to become queen when I’m still adjusting to not having a nap time in school anymore.” Hyacinth’s voice rang out.

“Soon enough then. But yeah, no nap time in school still sucks even in high school.” Colin walked over to where the rest of his sisters sat with Penelope and promptly pulled Hyacinth onto his lap as he sat down on one of the stools and grabbed a sandwich off the platter in the center.

“To answer your previous question, yes. Daph decided on Princess Bride for tonight’s movie,” Eloise was focused on her drawing of Rosie the Riveter on her social studies textbook cover.

“Hey Colin, could you pass me my pencil pouch? It’s next to you,” Penelope asked without thought as she concentrated on doing her best work on Francesca’s book cover. Colin let Hyacinth off his lap, picked up the cream canvas pencil pouch, and traced the pink monogram embroidered on it as he walked around the counter to stand behind Penelope.

“As you wish,” he said softly as he set down the pouch by her elbow. Penelope turned to thank him and was startled not expecting him to be standing so close.

“Thank you,” her eyes momentarily widened when she noticed her favorite lopsided smile as she took in his face then she relaxed seeing the sparkle of contentment in his eyes. “So are you officially Prince Charming, yet?” Penelope cleared her throat as she turned back to her work.

“I’m so glad you asked, Pen. Nice to see some people around here remember that this has been an extra big week for me with auditions on top of it being my first week of high school.”

“Was the preamble necessary?” Eloise muttered under her breath and Colin resisted the urge to give her the side eye.

“Anyway, Pen,” Colin emphasized her name, “as a matter of fact you are speaking to Rapunzel’s Prince for the 2006 North Ridgefield community theater’s production of Into the Woods!”

“Colin! That’s fantastic! Congrats!” Penelope turned and slid off her stool to give Colin the biggest hug possible which he returned with great enthusiasm.

“Honey, that’s amazing! You’ve been practicing so much over the summer with your voice teacher for this audition.” Violet came into the kitchen from her study in time to see Colin pick up Penelope as they hugged and spun with her in his arms filling the room with their laughter. After he had set Penelope down, Violet went to give her son a hug of her own along with a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks, Mom. I couldn’t have done it without you driving me to my voice lessons every week.”

“Hey I drove your butt a few times when I was on carpool duty between all of you,” Benedict chimed in as he walked in from the front foyer. “Congratulations, Brother. Never doubted you for a second. So do you know who your princess will be?” Penelope felt her heart clench at Benedict’s question.

“Her name is Michaela Stirling. I’ve never met her, but maybe she’s related to John Stirling. He’s in ninth like me, I just never really crossed paths with him. I’ll meet her next week at our first rehearsal.” Colin shrugged before changing topics and continued chatting with his brother as they went to the computer room probably to play World of Warcraft with their internet friends before dinner. Turning her attention back to the girls, she noticed the fading blush on Francesca’s cheeks.

——— * * * ———

October 2006

Colin hadn’t expected that he would have so much fun being in a musical. He already had inherited his love of musical theater from his mother as a child when she would make a cuddle pit on the floor of their family room with the coziest blankets and pillows and would put in a movie musical to watch with him, Anthony, and Benedict while Daph and El and later Frannie would be taking an afternoon nap. She would call it her special time with her precious boys. Even now when a new movie musical came to theaters or when a show they were both interested in made a stop in one of the bigger cities nearby, they would do a mother-son date just the two of them. Occasionally Daphne or Frannie would join in, but largely a remained a sacred thing Colin shared with his mom.

The other thing he hadn’t expected was that he would become fast friends with the Rapunzel to his Rapunzel’s prince. Michaela Stirling was in a word, vibrant. She matched and outpaced Colin in the charm and natural charisma department while sustaining an aura of approachability, humility, and quiet confidence. Michaela simply knew who she was and didn’t hold back her light. Colin had called her a walking double rainbow because she could inspire awe in even their curmudgeon rehearsal pianist, Mr. Helbert, who also happened to be Francesca’s piano teacher. Needless to say, Colin and Michaela had become close friends in the six weeks they had known each other. And since Michaela would have to wait for her aunt to be off of work to pick her up from rehearsal, she would sometimes join Colin and his family for dinner and run lines together at Bridgerton house.

During their downtime, Colin learned that he was correct and Michaela was John Stirling’s cousin. While she was only in eighth grade, she was a few months older than Colin since both she and John had to be held back a year when they joined the school system two years ago after being home-schooled previously. He also learned that even though she was in eighth grade she didn’t attend North Ridgefield Middle School like his sisters and Penelope, she attended the private school one town over. The reason that was even logistically possible was because she and her mom lived with John and his mom on a farm just outside of town that belonged to their moms’ family and who happened to be twins.

It was one of those first colder days of October that really made it feel like fall, especially with the leaves beginning to fall in all their beautiful shades of red, orange, yellow, and gold. Colin was sitting in the Bridgerton family room with Michaela as they went over their lines to cement being off-book by the next rehearsal.

“Colin. Colin. Colin.” Michaela leaned forward to snap her fingers in front of Colin’s face. “Hey, Bridgerton! That was your cue.” She leaned back crossing her deep brown arms over her chest as her braids swayed back with her movement.

“What?” Colin snapped his head up from the golden red leaf he was twirling in his fingers by its stem to see the flat expression on his friend’s face. “I’m sorry. I’m feeling a bit distracted lately. What do you think of this color? It’s unique, isn’t it? Very pretty too.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s unique.” Michaela tilted her head continuing to examine Colin. “Anything you wanna share with the class?”

“Uhhh, I don’t think so. I guess my brain is just… foggy? I don’t know how to describe it.” Colin stood up and shook his whole body and then each individual limb. “Whatever. I promise to be the best Prince Charming, my dear Rapunzel.”

“Sit back down, Col. We should probably call it, I don’t think either of us is going to focus on the script anymore.”

“Do you wanna practice part of our dance? I bet Francesca would be happy to accompany us.” Colin did a twirl and finished with some jazz hands.

“No!” Michaela responded rather suddenly earning her a confused look from Colin. “I mean nah that’s fine. Don’t wanna bother your sister and all that,” she waved her hand off to the side and Colin plopped back down on the sofa next to her.

“Is there something you wanna talk about, Mickey?” Micheala took in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. She let her head fall to the side to rest on the sofa’s backrest while her hands began fidgeting in her lap.

“I know that sigh. I have mastered that sigh. That’s an overthinking sigh.” Colin adjusted himself so he was facing her and copied her position then mimed flipping a closed sign to open á la Lucy in The Peanuts. “Talk. The doctor is in.”

Michaela shook her head and let out a chuckle mixed in with a sigh. “Do you ever feel like you’re different from everyone else around you? Like everyone has one operating system installed, but you have the beta version of a different one?”

“I… I guess… sometimes I feel different than the other guys our age. They’ll talk about stuff and I just don’t get it. Same thing with Ant and Ben. They and my mom have said I’m a late bloomer in the past, but my brothers largely laid off once they realized it really bothered me.” He shrugged. “Is that kinda what you’re getting at?”

“Yeah, exactly actually.”

A silence fell over them and normally Colin would jump in to fill the silence, especially with Michaela since they were always laughing and chatting faster than a mile a minute, but he knew this was one of those times that he had to sit and allow his friend to say what’s on her mind at her own pace. Eventually, he heard her taking in a shaky breath and Colin looked up from his leaf that he had been fidgeting with again. Is she trying not to cry? Colin set his leaf on the side table behind him and leaned forward to pull Michaela into a hug, rubbing his hand up and down her back. She allowed herself to weep and Colin could feel her tears dampening the shoulder of his t-shirt.

“Hey. hey. It’s okay. I’ve got you. Mickey, what’s wrong?” Michaela pulled back to meet Colin’s gaze, her brown eyes quivering with tears, and Colin kept his hands on her shoulders rubbing what he hoped were comforting circles with his thumbs.

“Colin,” Michaela shook taking another deep breath. “I’m gay.” Colin was processing what she had just said and Michaela shifted her eyes to the side avoiding the realization that was dawning on his face.

“Mich, don’t do that. Look at me.” Colin moved to hold her face with both hands and shifted his head to be in her direct line of vision. Tears silently fell from her eyes and he tried to convey all the warmth, understanding, and kindness he could muster. He’s never had someone come out to him before, but he did know this was a big moment. A moment that could define their friendship. Most importantly he knew this was his close friend laying herself out and vulnerable to him and what she needed most of all was his support and compassion. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I… I don’t know if you’ve told someone before and have others in your corner, but you can count on me. I’m here for you, in whatever way you need me. You’re my friend. And I know we’ve only known each other for like less than two months, but you’re one of my closest friends. You matter to me.”

Michaela let out another shaky breath this time with a hint of levity. “Are you done rambling, Bridgerton?” Colin laughed at himself, he did have the tendency to ramble when he didn’t know what to say during important moments. “To satiate your curiosity, no one else knows but I think John suspects something. My mom definitely knows something is up because she’s always looking at me with her ‘something is troubling my daughter’ tender eyes.” Michaela rolls her eyes at this. “But yeah. You’re the first.”

“Well then I’m honored,” Colin places one of his hands over his heart and lets the other one go to hold one of Michaela’s.

“You’re such a goof,” Michaela playfully shoves at his shoulder.

“Hey, right back atcha, Stirling.” This time Colin holds both of her hands in his and rubs those same hopefully soothing circles with his thumbs. Their comfortable silence is interrupted by Colin’s stomach grumbling… loudly, causing them to both burst out laughing. As they calm back down Colin asks, “So are you staying for dinner? Maybe even join us for Bridgerton movie night?” He wiggles his eyebrows making Michaela laugh again.

“Yeah, sure. I just gotta call my mom first and tell her so my auntie doesn’t have to worry.”

“Of course. And we can probably get Ben or my mom to drive you home.”

“Okay, cool. I should do that.” Colin became serious once more and Michaela tilted her head waiting for what he had to say. As he pulled her in for another hug, Colin heard footsteps on the carpet in the hallway. It was probably just one of his siblings going to the bathroom.

“Seriously, Michaela. You’re incredible and I’m glad you told me. I’m here for you, whatever you need. You’re important to me,” Colin whispered into her hair and held her just a bit tighter. When they parted Michaela once again had tears in her eyes, but they were tears of relief and happiness.

“You’re important to me too,” Michaela’s smile shined with her usual warmth as Colin moved his hands to her face to wipe away some of the tears from her cheeks. Colin’s heart swelled knowing that he had done his best to be supportive of his friend and that she felt all the better because of their friendship.

“Oh.”

Both Colin and Michaela turned towards the sudden newcomer, Colin’s hands still cradling Michaela’s face. Colin felt his heart swell even more if that were possible, seeing Penelope standing in the doorway; a faint blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Pen,” Colin said softly as he let his eyes roam over her face and trace those stubborn tendrils that always insisted on falling forward to frame her face. He really did have amazing taste in friends because a person could do a lot worse than having Penelope and Michaela as close friends.

“Umm,” Penelope cleared her throat. “Dinner’s ready,” casting her eyes downward she continued, “Mrs. Bridgerton said you’re more than welcome to join, Michaela.” Penelope turned around and left the room without another word.

“I’m gonna call my mom and let her know the plan,” Michaela stood up and started making her way toward the door.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll… I’ll catch up with you in a bit,” Colin replied in a haze. That was weird. Pen sounded almost… hurt? Wasn’t that the same tone of voice she used when she talks about some of the girls who bully her sometimes? Am I imagining things? It was like Pen was spitting out Michaela’s name. Colin sat there frozen replaying Pen’s voice, trying to reason out what she could be thinking or feeling. Was she jealous that Colin made a new friend? Afraid she might be replaced? I would probably be jealous if I thought Pen had a new best friend even though I already share that honor with El. That had to be it. But Penelope had to know that no one would ever replace her in his life. She was Penelope Featherington, for goodness’s sake. No one could ever replace her in Colin’s life, not now and not ever.

“Hey, nerd! Didn’t you hear dinner is ready?” Eloise poked her head into the family room, interrupting Colin’s spiral.

“Yeah I’m coming,” Colin stood up to follow his sister to the dining room.

That’s gotta be it. Pen’s worried she’s being replaced since I have been spending so much time with Mich because of the musical. It’s ridiculous, but I can fix this. Maybe some solo Colin and Pen time. Just us hanging out. None of my siblings. And not working on ‘Explore Yourself’. Yeah, I’ll bring it up after the movie. Maybe a picnic on Sunday if the weather is nice. It’ll be perfect.

By the time Colin sat down for dinner and joined in the conversation Benedict and Daphne were having, he felt the knot that had formed in his stomach loosen. He couldn’t handle the thought that Penelope would ever feel any doubt about her place in his life. He’ll figure this out and make things right. He had to. And he had his plan. Penelope giggled at something Hyacinth had said and Colin felt a smile grow on his face as he watched his best friend and his little sister. It’s all going to be okay.

Chapter Text

Chapter Six: Their First “Date”

October 2006

Saturday morning was the typical chaos at Bridgerton house. Violet zipped around the kitchen making sure each of her children had enough to eat, pausing to take a bite of eggs off her own plate by the stove every now and then.

“Benedict, I wanted the Cheerios not the bunches of oats!”

“Should’ve been more specific, El. You only said cereal,” Benedict tossed a cheerio in the air and caught it in his mouth before sticking his tongue out.

“Benedict, hand your sister the Cheerios.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Francesca, you have your double piano lesson today at noon during Daphne’s dance practice, so Benedict will be driving you today,” Violet began reviewing the family’s schedule for the day.

“Sounds good.”

“Good morning, family,” Colin came down the stairs and surveyed his siblings. Daphne was already dressed in one of her dance outfits, Frannie was tapping the fingers on her right hand on the table— playing the piano only she could see, Gregory and Hyacinth were happily eating their pancakes with Hya occasionally stealing a bite from Greg’s plate when he wasn’t looking, and Benedict and Eloise were being… Benedict and Eloise— terrorizing one another first thing in the morning. That only left Pen, dutifully sitting next to Eloise, taking in the flurry of activity around her. Quietly observing with a faint smile on her face as she took a sip of her orange juice.

He gave his mother a quick peck on the cheek before graciously accepting the plate of eggs and pancakes she had prepared for him, then took the seat across from Penelope that Benedict had just vacated.

“G’morning, Pen Pen.”

“Not your best, Bridgerton,” Penelope looked up from her food, daring him to call her out on her equally less-than-witty nickname for him this morning.

“Listen, Pen,” Colin took a bite of his food and swallowed it before continuing, “I was thinking that maybe we should do a Pen and Colin day, a Polin day if you will, of just us hanging out.”

Penelope’s face contoured in confusion. “Did you want to add a new entry to the blog schedule or have new merch ideas or something?”

“No, no, I mean just us hanging out without my siblings and not working on ‘Explore Yourself’.” Penelope began chewing on her bottom lip, pensive.

“What would we do?”

“Leave that all to me. What do you say about tomorrow? Are you free? I would say today, but I have a feeling I’ll be on temporary babysitting duty while waiting for Anthony to get here for his fall break.” Colin’s eyes looked at her with excitement and earnestness. She didn’t know what brought this on nor why Colin would want to spend time with her in this way, they always had things to do for their business and she knew he loved spending time with his family.

“Okay, sure. I’m in.” Colin chose to ignore the tentativeness in her reply.

“Great!” He beamed at her,” I’ll let you know later today more details.” There, Colin felt better than he had the night before now that he was on the right track to mending whatever rift had appeared between him and Penelope without his knowing.

——— * * * ———

“And where are you going with that picnic basket, brother?”

Penelope had just walked in from the Bridgertons’ backyard when she overheard Anthony ask someone a question. Was that Benedict laughing? Maybe they were talking to Colin, she thought to herself, choosing to stay out of view of the brothers for now; her curiosity driving her actions. She knew she was being nosey, but sometimes couldn’t help herself. Colin had been highly secretive all weekend about what he had planned for their ‘Polin Afternoon Extravaganza’, his words, not hers.

“If you must know, I’m preparing some food for my afternoon with Penelope,” Colin replied with a mild indignation glazing his words. His response was met with twin gasps and ‘ooo’s’ from his older brothers.

“Isn’t that a little over the top for what will be just you two sitting around a computer working on Exploring Yourselves?” Anthony’s voice was teasing, accompanied by Ben’s chuckles.

“It’s… It’s called Explore Yourself, thank you very much,” Colin stammered out. Penelope knew him well enough to know that he was blushing from his tone of voice. She could easily visualize the way the tips of his ears were most likely pink and the warmth possibly spreading across his face and trailing down his neck. “And no we won’t be working on the blog or any sort of work for that matter.”

“Oh. Does my baby brother have a date, then?”

“What?”

“A date. You know, having special one-on-one time with a pretty girl without the pretext of school or work in the way of just enjoying one another’s company,” Anthony explained.

“Ant, maybe let up?” Benedict cautioned.

“It’s okay, I think it’s cool that Colin wants to start dating. Penelope is a little young though and she’s basically our sister, but overall not surprising.”

After a beat of uncomfortable silence, Colin cleared his throat. “Do you guys think Pen… will think this is a date?” His voice was soft, barely audible to Penelope where she hid.

Noting Colin’s nerves, Anthony’s voice became softer— no longer teasing. “Does she know what you’re planning?”

“No, I told her I wanted to surprise her today. That I wanted to spend time with her, but not work on business things even though there’s always stuff to do for it or to study for school like we do with El and Daph on Sunday afternoons.”

“It does kind of sound like a date, Col, even if that’s not your intention,” Anthony’s voice carried more caution than Penelope had ever heard him use before.

Her mind started whirring, leaving her grasping for her thoughts as they moved around her like a tornado. Did Colin want today to be a date? She has had a crush on him for years; since the day they met if she’s being honest. But did he now feel the same as her? When had that changed? Oh, God, should she go home and change into something… prettier, more date-like? What did you wear on a date with one of your best friends? And what about Michaela? He was practically kissing her when she walked in on them Friday night. That was barely two days ago and now he was planning a date with her? She had to get away before they saw her. Resisting the urge to simply drop down to all fours and army crawl away, she stealthily made her way upstairs without being noticed.

“Penny, are you okay?” Daphne’s voice was a lifesaver as Penelope attempted not to drown in the whirlpool that were her thoughts.

“Um,” she took a gulp of breath, “yeah. I think I just stood up too fast and felt lightheaded.” She let out a shaky laugh.

“If you’re sure…” Daphne’s voice trailed off as she tried to ascertain her friend’s state. “Are you gonna join El and me later to study for that science test we have on Tuesday? I think I could get Anthony to buy us some of those end-of-day scones from The Hideout as a treat. You know the ones that are like half the size of your face?”

“I actually have plans with Colin later,” Penelope murmured.

“Oh well, he could join us too. I’m pretty sure he had Mr. Nelson when he was in seventh.”

“I… I think he planned for just the two of us to hang out alone. Something he’s calling Polin’s Afternoon Extravaganza.” She waved her hand in the air in an effort to be nonchalant and avoid betraying the continuing whirlwind in her heart and mind over what Colin could mean with this whole afternoon.

Daphne chuckled softly. “My brother really does nothing halfway, does he? Always giving it 100% and then some. Well whatever he has planned, I’m sure it will be a good time. You two are always working on that website you run together, it’ll be nice to just have some quality time without that in the way.” Daphne’s smile was tender and reassuring, not at all dissimilar to the one her mother often gave Penelope. “Since El and I will be studying, it’ll help keep her distracted so you can enjoy your time with Col. Everyone knows how El gets,” Daphne emphasized her comment with an eye roll.

“Thanks, Daph. I hadn’t even thought about that in all honesty.” Penelope fidgeted with her hair to further ground herself in appreciation for the friend standing in front of her.

“Hey, why don’t I braid your hair into a crown like you like, with the small bits hanging in the front? It got a little windswept from being outside playing with the littles.”

“I’d like that.” For the first time since walking inside, Penelope’s heart slowed down to a normal tempo.

——— * * * ———

“Now no peeking, Pen. Do you still have your eyes closed?” The slightest twinge of nerves was evident in Colin’s voice as he guided his friend towards one of the wooden forts in the park at the end of their street. The very same park where they had met.

“Colin,” Penelope’s voice was tinted with playful exasperation and humor. “I couldn’t see a thing even if I tried. You know, since you blindfolded me and all.” They both let out a laugh over the obviousness of her words.

“I don’t know, Nelly Loop, you are one smart cookie. Probably the smartest cookie, I know.”

“Well, it's a good thing I’m not edible like an actual cookie otherwise you’d have eaten me by now.” Penelope let out a delighted giggle with her turn of phrase, oblivious to Colin momentarily freezing beside her.

The tips of Colin’s ears burned in what he imagined a fire engine red from how hot they felt. He coughed trying to clear his throat and thoughts. It was just Anthony and Benedict’s earlier comments getting in his head he tried to reassure himself.

It was sometime during the summer that he had accidentally walked in on Anthony with his then-girlfriend fooling around, as he called it, in the family room one afternoon when everyone was scattered around town for their various summer activities. Somehow Colin’s presence at home had escaped Anthony’s awareness and when Colin wanted to kill some time playing his newest video game while waiting for his sisters and Penelope to come home, he found his eldest brother in a compromising position and making noises he wished he could bleach from his memory.

Later that evening when Anthony sat him down for a one-on-one brotherly chat, Colin had a rude awakening as to why the name of the business he ran with Penelope frequently earned them smirks and bouts of laughter from adults and some of his peers. It was no wonder why their investor, Agatha Danbury, was scandalized when he and Penelope had decided on the name that she suggested as a joke. By the end of the conversation, both brothers were practically beet red, especially after Anthony called in reinforcements in the form of Benedict who found the entire ordeal endlessly amusing. Fortunately, the brothers agreed that the painful conversation was a better alternative than Colin receiving the same talk from their mother and that everything that had happened that afternoon could stay amongst the three eldest Bridgerton siblings and Anthony’s girlfriend.

While he did enjoy having a new sense of understanding and oddly a deeper camaraderie with his older brothers; it made him feel he was more their equal than he had in years, it also meant that he was now privy to the world of innuendo and he since he was reluctant to take Penelope’s innocence, he was forced to hear all the double entendres she unknowingly uttered.

“Nah, I wouldn’t have eaten you by now, otherwise I wouldn’t have you in my life.” Colin squeezed Penelope’s shoulders to bring himself back to this moment and away from the impure road his mind had begun to wander down. Besides he had enough to worry about if his brothers were correct in that what he had intended as a fun afternoon with his best friend was actually a date. He resisted the urge to run his hand through his hair, one of his classic nervous tells.

“How much further are we walking, Colin? I bet anyone that can see us thinks I look foolish with this bright yellow blindfold on my face.” Penelope’s nose scrounged up in that adorable way that always made Colin smile and this time was no different.

“Not much further and no one is thinking that, I promise.”

Colin looked down and saw Penelope had her bottom lip between her teeth then with a sense of resolution, she took a deep breath and let it out, seemingly deciding to settle into the trust she had for him. Though sunset was still a few hours away, Colin couldn’t help but admire how the low afternoon sun danced through Penelope’s hair. Her hair was always so soft and warm, making it one of his favorite things to play with when they hung out, usually watching some movie or TV show with his siblings. Today she had it braided into a crown with the daisy hairpins he had given her for her birthday earlier that year decorating it. Sometimes it felt like he was looking at a young Persephone when he looked at her, she was the best parts of spring and summer in one person. The day they met, it was like sunshine had come flooding back into his life. Quite literally blinding him when her yellow bucket hat flew into his face and knocked him off his bike three and a half years ago. He hadn’t been sure when he would feel whole after his father passed away the summer before fifth grade; it was like the storm that had set off the chain of events that led to his dad dying also stole the sunshine.

And in truth Colin did blame that storm for his dad’s death, if that summer storm hadn’t rolled through Edmund Bridgerton wouldn’t have been outside that afternoon with Anthony, Benedict, and Colin cleaning up the debris. There wouldn’t have been a massive tree branch blocking their driveway. Edmund wouldn’t have been trying to salvage a bouquet of flowers from the clean-up, still ever the romantic since the day he and Violet began to date. The huge oak tree wouldn’t have fallen, blocking the road that connected the Bridgertons’ neighborhood to the city. That bee wouldn’t be in a post-storm anxious haze, on the defense as soon as Edmund’s hand came near it. If it had been a milder storm, maybe the ambulance could’ve gotten there in time maybe Violet would’ve been able to drive Edmund to the ER. So many maybes, if only it weren’t for that storm. Regardless, eight months later, the sun came back in the form of a little eight-year-old girl with curly hair like the sun at sunset and eyes like the sky.

Colin was lost in his memories when he realized he now had to help Penelope climb up into the wooden fort without removing her blindfold.

“Umm, I don’t think I thought this part out all the way.” Colin scratched the back of his head.

“What’s wrong Colin?”

“I think I’m going to have to lift you so this can stay as much of a surprise as possible.”

Penelope’s face flushed immediately. This was not something she had been prepared for whatsoever. She gave a small thanks that at least she was wearing leggings under her dress so at least she wouldn’t subjugate Colin to that possible sight of embarrassment that was her, as her mother put it, overly plump behind. She was no waif like Colin’s sisters, especially since it seemed that puberty had enjoyed hitting her early and often. Penelope was aware of her body, in part thanks to her mother’s remarks. She still felt the urge to scream when she thought about how one of her mother’s incentives was to pay her $5 for every pound she lost and use the money on new clothes. Would Colin even be able to lift her? No, there had to be another way. She didn’t want to put both of them through this embarrassment, especially if this was a date.

“Are— are you sure? Is this something I could climb instead with you guiding me?”

Colin thought for a moment making mental calculations regarding Penelope’s height and the ledge they had to get on to get inside the fort. He thought back to how she was surprisingly nimble and always climbed up the logs with ease. “You know, I think that could work.”

Carefully he positioned Penelope so that she could feel the wooden structure, a small smile forming on her face as she realized where they were. With a slight boost from his hands, her muscle memory took over and she easily climbed into the fort and then stood aside to give Colin enough room to climb in himself.

“You’ve probably figured out where we are by now, but I still want this to be a surprise. So I’m just gonna position you in the best place to take it all in, okay?”

Penelope nodded and then felt Colin’s hands on her shoulders as he moved her into position. A slight breeze moved the tendrils of her hair and caused her to shiver. Colin moved his hands up and down her arms to warm her.

“You won’t be cold for long,” Colin whispered as he moved to stand behind her and began to undo the blindfold. “On the count of three, you open your eyes. One.”

She felt Colin’s fingers on her head as the knot was undone.

“Two”

The blindfold fell away and both Penelope and Colin caught it, their hands touching briefly before Colin pulled away, blindfold in hand.

“Three”

Penelope opened her eyes and was amazed. In the wooden playground fort where they sometimes would hang out after school or on the weekends with his sisters, Colin had set up a cozy outdoor picnic. On the floor, he had laid out some of the Bridgerton outdoor picnic blankets and cushions, all in tans, warm browns, and muted blues to make what resembled a nest for humans. He even brought a picnic basket which Penelope suspected was filled to the brim with food. Colin took her right hand and began to walk her over to the inviting nest he had created.

“I packed some snacks for us even though dinner isn’t too long from now. It’s just some basics— peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with raspberry jam cause I know that’s your favorite, dill pickle chips, a couple of the pumpkin turnovers from yesterday…” he trailed off to pull something out of the basket he was now kneeling next to. “Oh and warm spiced apple cider from the orchard 10 minutes outside of town.” Colin turned to look at Penelope’s reaction, thermos of cider in his hands.

Her eyes had started to become glossy with unshed tears and she was chewing on her bottom lip.

“Pen, what’s wrong? Was this too much? I wanted to make it special since we never… well we’ve never…” How could he be so foolish? Of course, Penelope now thought he meant for this to be a date and she now didn’t know how to turn him down. He couldn’t think of a thing to say cause while he didn’t want this to be a date, he didn’t want to assume she thought it was. Cause in what world would Penelope ever be interested in him like that? They were practically family, she saw him as no different than Benedict, Daphne, or little Gregory.

Penelope started to breathe heavily as one of her hands flew to her chest and her eyes closed tight.

“Pen, are you okay?” Colin moved to stand in front of her. “It’s okay, Pen. Focus on breathing, try to match it with mine.” He moved the hand hanging at her side to his chest and began to breathe in counts of four. In, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four. After two cycles of breathing, he spoke again, “That’s right big belly breaths, get all that oxygen.” Colin continued to breathe with her as she came back to herself a few moments later then guided her to sit on one of the cushions. “Here have some water,” he pulled out a Nalgene from the basket and then knelt in front of her. “Better?”

She nodded and took another sip of water. “Colin, I’m not ready to date,” Penelope’s words quickly streamed out of her mouth in a single breath; leaving Colin stunned and speechless. “I know you put a lot of effort into all this,” she gestured around them. “But, I’m not ready to date anyone, not just you. I’m only in seventh and I’m still figuring things out. Trying to figure myself out and where I fit in the world. Right now, I like it better that we’re friends.” Penelope looked up trying to meet his gaze, but his eyes were cast down.

“You don’t know how relieved that makes me feel,” Colin chuckled. “All day I’ve been so in my head that you might think this is a date, but I didn’t want to be presumptuous. It’s just that my brothers started teasing me and making their own assumptions.” His eyes met hers and he saw how their honesty had washed them in relief. They would be okay. “Honestly, I’m not ready to date either. I know both Ant and Ben had already started dating by my age, but that’s just not for me right now. I rather hang out with you or my family or with some of the other choir guys or Michaela. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with the whole dating thing. Like how are you supposed to know you want to date someone if you don’t know them?”

“So this wasn’t supposed to be a date?”

“No, I just wanted to have a special hang out with my best friend since we never get to unless we’re working. Thought it would be a nice change of pace and scenery.” Penelope nodded in response.

“Hmmm, yeah, no, that makes sense.” After a beat she continues, “I guess I should tell you that I overheard your brothers teasing you earlier and that’s what led to me, I guess panicking… I should’ve said something earlier, but you were so excited and I didn’t want to spoil it. But seeing all this effort, I had to say something.” Colin ran a hand down his face.

“Ugh, curse my brothers for getting in both our heads and almost ruining our Polin Extravaganza Afternoon. Seriously, can’t a guy just do something nice for his best friend?” Colin let out a dramatic sigh to accompany his dramatic words, which prompted both of them to break out laughing. “C’mon let’s settle into this lovely cozy nest I made and eat. I even brought one of the portable DVD players so we could watch a movie or something.” Colin moved aside so Penelope could make herself comfortable. “I brought a selection. There’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s,  Toy Story, The Little Mermaid, and season one of Friends. What do you think?”

“Breakfast at Tiffany’s, definitely. Plus, I know how much you love Audrey Hepburn and think she’s pretty.”

Colin laughed at her teasing, “Sure, but she’s also a humanitarian and that counts for much more than a pretty face.” He pulled the portable player closer and took out the DVD case from the picnic basket.

“Before we start the movie, I was wondering about one more thing.” Penelope reached around Colin for the bag of chips.

“Hmm?”

“You said you’re not interested in dating anyone at all…”

“Yeah.”

“Well I saw you and Michaela Friday night and I thought you two might have been… Ugh, never mind it’s none of my business anyway. I guess you technically don’t have to be dating someone in order to kiss them, but yeah like I said, none of my business…”Penelope trailed off not knowing why she brought it up or how to change the conversation.

“Wait, no, that’s not what happened Friday night with Mickey.” Colin turned to face her. “Michaela and I are just friends and I was trying to comfort and thank her. She had shared something really personal and important, but it’s not my secret to tell. It was hard for her to tell me and I was being a supportive friend.”

“Oh.” Penelope’s mouth softly dropped open forming the vowel she just spoke. “I just thought, since…” she moved one of her hands to his cheek almost cradling his face. Colin closed his eyes momentarily, relishing in Penelope’s calming touch. No matter where or when, whenever she touched him he couldn’t help but feel a wave of calm throughout his body.

“That was me comforting her by wiping away her tears. You know like we sometimes do for each other. It was all completely friendly and nothing more.”

Penelope let her hand fall from his face and grasped one of his hands in his lap. “You’re a good friend, Colin Bridgerton.” She gave his hand three quick squeezes, their secret code to convey love and understanding. It was something they had started doing in the summer just between them.

“As are you, Penelope Featherington.” He reciprocated the squeezes. “Now shall we start the movie? I think we’ll be here past sunset anyway if that’s okay.”

“Hand me some of that apple cider you mentioned and I’ll be all set.”

The two friends settled in to watch the movie, sharing a blanket as always, with cups of apple cider in hand.

“You know, I think I want a cat someday,” Penelope pondered out loud.

“Oh yeah? And name them Cat?” Humor rang clearly in Colin’s voice.

“Perhaps,” she said with a small smile.

“Well, I’ll be around to help pet sit and whatnot when you’re off traveling promoting your latest literary work.”

“Shut up,” she playfully hit his arm with the back of her hand. “That won’t be necessary, I’ll probably never leave this state. You’re the one destined for greatness whether that’s on a Broadway stage or as a journalist remains to be seen.”

“Nah. It’ll be you. You’ll be famous for your words. Don’t think I don’t know how you started that advice column in the Bee’s Knees.” Colin tapped his shoulder to hers.

“I can’t believe Mr. Ledger told you! It was supposed to be a secret.”

“In all fairness, he didn’t tell me. I overheard him telling my mom about it. She said it explained why you had been asking her more questions recently.”

“Ugh. It’s just that your mom is really good at giving advice and it helped to pick her brain a bit.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Colin mimicked closing his mouth with a key, making Penelope giggle. “Now how about we agree to disagree on who will be more successful in the future and focus on watching this movie now.”

“Sure, just as soon as you hand me one of those pumpkin turnovers you mentioned.”

“As you wish.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Seven: Strawberry's First Time

March 2007

It had all started slowly the week after his fifteenth birthday and spring break. Their first Monday back at school, Colin insisted that he would be sitting in the front passenger seat, citing high school privilege. Benedict merely chuckled and made some offhand remark about his baby brother becoming a man, to which Colin scoffed and rubbed in his new outlook by saying, “Middle schoolers to the back,” when Eloise attempted to sneak past him anyway and claim the front seat.

While it sucked that Colin wasn’t sitting next to her, Penelope didn’t mind. In fact, the only people who minded were Daphne and Eloise since they routinely fought each other for the passenger seat and consequently music privileges on the way to school.

On the third day of claiming that high schoolers rode in the front, he chose a radio station that wasn’t one of the presets. Previously, their morning car pools tended to consist of one of the three top 40 stations, NPR, Disney radio, or on the rare occasions some alternative indie station that Benedict enjoyed. Now, Colin had chosen the predominantly hip-hop station and began bopping his head while ignoring the complaints of his sisters. Thursday morning, he compromised and played rock music instead. That same morning was the premiere of the most offensive change in Penelope’s opinion. He was wearing Axe Body Spray.

“What is that smell that is burning my nose hairs?” Eloise bellowed when she got in the van. Climbing in after her, Daphne and Francesca both let out coughs.

“Shut up, Eloise. You’re just not used to it.”

“I don’t think it’s something we want to get used to,” Daphne murmured to herself as she settled in next to Penelope.

“Ben, please for the love of my nose and lungs, roll down the windows so Mr. New Smell doesn’t stink up the car.”

“Col, you may have gone a little heavy-handed with the stuff,” Benedict offered as a neutral critique in order to establish at least a semblance of peace for the drive.

“Whatever. No one complained after track practice when I went out with the guys, only you lot,” Colin sulked as he looked out the window.

Friday morning, Penelope had been running late since she stayed up late Thursday night finishing a project for social studies so she had missed her semi-routine quick breakfast with the Bridgertons before school that day. She ran out of her house, a flapping poster in one hand and a piece of toast in the other, when Benedict honked the horn a single time. Penelope was flushed and had begun to apologize for being late when Benedict assured her the honk wasn’t meant for her but for Colin.

“I swear he’s gonna make us late,” Daphne seethed.

“If he doesn’t come out in the next 20 seconds, I’m taking the front seat,” Eloise added.

“I support that decision, sister. He doesn’t deserve his new ‘rule’ respected if he doesn’t respect our time.” It was a rare moment of solidarity between the two Bridgertons closest in age.

Right as Eloise reached the end of her countdown, Colin emerged from the front door and Penelope’s mouth fell open. Gone were Colin’s relaxed fit jeans, t-shirt (sometimes with a nerdy pun), zip-up hoodie, and Converse that he would usually wear to school. Instead, he walked out in baggy jeans, two polo shirts with the collars popped, an oversized hoodie, and what looked to be Etnies, that brand of sneakers the skater kids typically wore. His hair was also styled in some sort of attempt to create a pieced texture that defied gravity, instead of the slightly shaggy curls that Penelope adored. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Sorry fam. The hair wasn’t cooperating. Let’s get this show on the road,” he said when he got into the car in the same mist of Axe body spray from yesterday before he changed the radio station to one of the new ones he was supposedly obsessed with.

“Did you use Ant’s expired gel or something?” Eloise made a motion to prod at Colin’s hair.

“No. Now don’t touch me, you’ll ruin it.”

“I’d say it’s already ruined,” she huffed as she fell back into her seat.

The whole week, Penelope had kept quiet and only noted the increasing changes Colin displayed. In the afternoons in the passing moments when it was just the two of them, he was still regular ol’ Colin. He had even helped her with the social studies project she had due that day. But he was also spending more time with the track guys after school even on days he didn’t have practice. And Penelope overheard Benedict telling Mama Bridgerton that Colin was almost late to his voice lesson that week, something that had never happened before.

This new Colin continued to confuse his family and threw Penelope’s anxiety into overdrive the following week. On Wednesday, precisely two weeks after Colin’s birthday, Penelope ran into Michaela of all people that afternoon at the public library.

“Hey, Penelope. I was wondering if that was you,” Michaela smiled as she stood by the table Penelope had taken over to study.

“Hi, Mickey. Yup, just little old me, working away on this reading assignment for English.” Penelope motioned for Michaela to sit down in the chair opposite her.

“It’s a bit odd not seeing you surrounded by Bridgertons.”

“Yeah, as much as I love them, sometimes even I need a bit of a break,” she chuckled. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh just waiting for John to finish his volunteer shift here before we head home.”

Ever since that fall day in the park, Penelope had made more of an effort to get to know Michaela, and by extension her cousin John, after Colin clarified that they were just friends but Penelope remained his best friend. It was no surprise that the girls quickly grew fond of each other and by the time Michaela and Colin were done with their performances of Into the Woods—the entire Bridgerton family attending both opening and closing nights, the Stirling cousins had become fully integrated into the Bridgerton orbit.

Both Michaela and John would often spend a few afternoons during the week and weekends at the Bridgertons’ house. Aside from Colin, Eloise gravitated the most towards Michaela, and together they teamed up to prank and tease Colin regularly. John for the most part would spend his time observing, making quiet quips only Benedict, Penelope, or Francesca would hear. A sort of understanding grew between John and the third Bridgerton daughter. Though there was a gap in their ages, they naturally gravitated towards one another in their preference for silence and calm amidst all the chaos. Oftentimes while Frannie practiced at the piano in the formal living room, John would be in there too as he did homework or read for fun.

Being an observant and vocal six-year-old, Hyacinth proclaimed that she thought John and Francesca made a cute couple over dinner once when both Stirlings were present. To which Francesca blushed furiously and avoided eye contact with John the rest of the night, while Benedict just laughed and reminded her that he was much too old for Frannie. Francesca also avoided her second-oldest brother for nearly a week after that.

All in all, Penelope noted that the inclusion of the Stirling cousins in the Bridgerton fold only gave more evidence of the unlimited love the family had to offer. It was also nice that she was no longer the odd one out as the only one that didn’t share their last name.

“So what’s up with Colin lately? Is he acting weird at home too or is this just an at-school transformation? John told me he’s been off.” Michaela bluntly changed topics, catching Penelope off guard.

“Umm, not with me at least. But he hasn’t been around the house as much since spring break. What has John told you about him being different at school? I thought it was mostly an exterior change.”

This wasn’t the first time Penelope had discussed the changes in Colin, Eloise alternated between mocking his change and outright complaining about it with her and Daphne. During those conversations, Penelope rarely voiced her own opinions and offered a sound of agreement now and then, preferring to give Eloise the space to rant and vent instead of potentially saying all her unfiltered thoughts in Colin’s presence.

“Yeah, he stopped eating lunch with him and some of the theater and choir people. He’s apparently been eating with some of those track guys like Fife, Wilding, and Stanton. Like I get wanting to bond more with your teammates during the season, but like did he have to choose to hang with the douchest ones? Ugh, those guys give me the creeps sometimes,” Michaela visibly trembled in disgust.

“That’s…surprising. Colin wasn’t all too happy when Fife tried to ask Daphne to one of the school dances last year. He was proud of how Daph stood her ground and gave her one of his spins-you-until-you-until-you're-dizzy bear hugs. And now he’s hanging out with him… willingly?”

“Oh Pen, that’s not even the worst of it. One day after school they went around the building playing axe tag. They were running around spraying each other with that nasty stuff with no care for who else was nearby. You know Mary Barragan?” Penelope nodded, the face of the quiet girl two years older than her who had asthma and some severe allergies came to mind. “She had an asthma attack after Stanton almost sprayed her in the face as he tried to get Colin. That’s when that girl from the dance team that Daphne looks up to and is friends with,” Michaela snapped her fingers trying to remember the girl’s name.

“Rosalie McCarty?”

“Yes her! Well Rosalie came out of the gym, took a whiff of the air, saw the whole thing, and immediately handed those guys their asses. She didn’t even say a word to Colin, but I think that might’ve affected him more.”

“He admires Rose a lot from working on the school paper together. So I can imagine her silence was cutting.”

“Exactly. I was trying to find John since my auntie and I came by to pick him up. I walked by as she was finishing up her annihilation and walked Mary to the nurse’s office with Colin. He hasn’t so much as looked at me since and avoids my eyes when we pass each other in the hall. I don’t know what has gotten into him. It’s like some microchip was inserted in his brain and all he does are things that he thinks will make him popular and fit in with those douche canoes.” Michaela slouched into the seat, letting her shoulders slump.

The two sit in silence letting Michaela’s words marinate between them. Things were worse than Penelope feared. She had wanted to believe that all his recent changes were merely surface-level, him trying to find his own style. But now hearing that the nagging suspicions she had been pushing away were true, her worry for her best friend only increased.

“This isn’t Colin,” she finally voiced out loud. “Do you think he is trying to be popular? He never used to care what other people thought, at least not enough to change his whole personality like this. Sure, aside from the clothes, the hair, and frankly nasty body spray, he’s still been the same personality-wise at home— maybe a bit more irritable, as far as I know.” Penelope’s thoughts began to spiral thinking of how this might affect their friendship. Would he stop being friends with her next? Did he secretly think she was too much of a loser or think he was too cool to hang out with a middle schooler? She knew her being in middle school still and his being in high school might change a few things between them, but she didn’t imagine it would be out of the blue and this extreme.

“Maybe we need to stage an intervention or something,” Michaela mused.

“I don’t know. That sounds a bit extreme.”

“You’re probably right. I just don’t want to lose my friend,” Michaela said in a whisper. “Theater in the Park auditions are in May and with it almost being April, I was hoping Col and I could practice our auditions together. It’s supposed to be a musical this year, they just haven’t announced which one yet. I’m hoping for Mary Poppins, but that’s a newer show and the rumor is that they’re considering Once Upon a Mattress.” Penelope noted that Michaela lit up when talking about musical theater the same way Colin did. It was no wonder they had become such fast friends, both with a love for theater, joy at learning about new things, and endless charm.

“What if I try and see what the Bridgertons think over the weekend? I have my weekly sleepover with El on Friday, so I can touch base with most of them then. And we can just keep an eye on him, yeah?” A tentative plan started forming in Penelope’s mind. Now that she was aware of how serious the situation was, she wouldn’t let it get any worse if she had a say.

“I guess that’s not a bad idea. Make sure it’s not all in our heads? Cause yeah, not that I see or talk to him all that much, but according to John Benedict hasn’t seemed all that perturbed at school.”

“He’s mostly just tried to play peacekeeper during car pools and kinda avoids any conflict usually. Or you know, adds his own Benedict humor to the situation when it’s not dramatic enough for his liking.” Penelope giggles thinking of how Benedict would whisper things to Hyacinth sometimes during meals knowing she would either react or repeat them loudly. He had told Penelope that he considers Hyacinth somewhat his protégé of chaos in preparation for when he would be off to college soon at the end of the following school year.

“Ready to head home, Mickey?” The girls were pulled out of their bubble by John. “Hi, Penelope. Hope my cousin hasn’t been too much of a distraction.”

“Ha. Ha.” Michaela stood and started to follow John before turning back around. “Keep my poster how this weekend goes? You can just message me on MySpace.”

“Yeah, of course. Talk later.”

After Michaela left, Penelope refocused her attention on her English assignment, noting the themes in Hatchet. Frankly, the story was good but it still wasn’t Penelope’s cup of tea. As she finished her assignment, she thought ahead to the weekend.

——— * * * ———

Friday afternoon, Penelope found herself at the Bridgertons’ home as usual. In a rarity, she had taken the bus home from school since unlike the rest of the Bridgertons she didn’t have any extracurriculars that afternoon. And it’s not like she could count on Portia or her sisters to pick her up.

Earlier in the school year, Violet had given Penelope a set of keys to the house so that she could always let herself in if needed. Penelope had been overwhelmed with the gesture and attempted to deny the offering.

But Violet persisted, “I insist dearest it would put my heart at ease knowing you have your set. Every one of my children should always have access to the home, even if they are not children by blood. Besides, we both know that Eloise is often very forgetful and since you two are nearly always together…” Both Violet and Penelope burst into giggles right as Eloise entered the room.

”What’s so funny?”

”Oh nothing,” Penelope answered.

”Just giving Penelope her own set of keys to the house.” Violet smiled at Penelope knowing the young girl wouldn’t reject the gesture in front of a witness.

”It’s about time! She spends almost the same amount of time here as at her own house. And with good reason.”

”Eloise!” Violet half-heartedly scolded, but knew her daughter wasn’t wrong.

”What? It’s true. Besides now maybe I won’t have to try and get inside via a window next time I forget my keys.” Eloise shrugged while Violet and Penelope shared a knowing look.

Penelope was brought back to the present when she heard the front door open and a familiar voice calling out.

”Hello family! Anyone home?”

”Nope just me, Colin! I’m in the kitchen.”

”Hey, Pencake! How are ya?” Colin swung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a quick side hug, the motion lacking its usual ease as if he had a moment of doubt on whether he should hug her or not.

”I’m good. Just working on some homework while waiting for El to get home from her bassoon lesson.”

”Ah yes. It’s a double lesson today, right? So she shouldn’t be home for another hour or so?”

”Yeah. And aren’t you supposed to be at track practice? How’d you get home?”

”Coach let us go early and I walked.” Colin shrugged again as if it was no big deal that he basically walked across town then walked towards the fridge. “Listen since El won’t be home for a bit, what ya say to watchin’ somethin’ after I take a quick shower?”

”Umm, sure. That sounds good. Feels like we haven’t hung out just us in a while.”

”That’s exactly what I was thinkin’. BRB.”

——— * * * ———

When Colin came back downstairs, hair still damp from his shower with the ends curling at the nape of his neck and wearing an outfit in his new style, Penelope scolded herself for foolishly getting her hopes up that he would come downstairs looking like the Colin she knew and loved. He made chatter about what they should watch or if she wanted to play some new video game instead as he attempted to make some sort of protein smoothie. Since when does Colin drink those? They smell disgusting, she thought to herself, almost as disgusting as that body spray he’s been using. Penelope resisted the urge to gag.

”Yo, Pencake, you good to go?” Colin tilted his head towards the family room and she followed him, settling into one of the armchairs instead of the sofa next to him like she normally would’ve done. “Why are you sittin’ all the way over there?”

This time it was Penelope’s turn to shrug, “Felt like sitting here, that’s all. You can play whatever you’re in the mood for, I don’t care.”

”Penelope Featherington giving me free rein?” Colin was dramatically incredulous, raising his eyebrows as high as they would go while drinking his smoothie. The sound of him sipping was starting to grate on Penelope’s nerves. It was the kool-aid of North Ridgefield High douche canoes she decided and every sip he took of that sludge slowly altered him to make him like Fife, Wilding, and Stanton, guys that always stood by and laughed whenever they overheard Cressida and her followers teasing her.

“Just pick something, Colin.” Penelope forced herself to turn and face the television.

”Geez, you’ve been spending too much time with El, Pencake. You’re snippy.” Colin laughed to himself, but to Penelope, it didn’t sound like Colin’s laugh. It was empty, fake, and made her skin crawl. There was no warmth with which she could wrap herself in that laugh. It was… soulless.

”At least Eloise is still Eloise,” Penelope mumbled mostly to herself. If he heard her then fine. Whatever.

”At least Eloise is what now?”

”AT LEAST ELOISE IS STILL HERSELF AND NOT A HUMANOID THAT VAGUELY LOOKS LIKE HER!” And with that, Penelope huffed and stormed out of the room. Colin sat there for a heartbeat, absorbing her words before wordlessly getting up and following. His protein smoothie, forgotten.

Colin found her in the kitchen, cautiously and quietly he entered the space; his reticence partly due to fear of Penelope snapping at him again. Who at the moment was attempting to take out some bowls from one of the cabinets.

”A little help here. Unless you think it's not cool to help me anymore since you’re dressing like every other guy that doesn’t think I’m cool.”

He hurries over and starts to take out a set of small bowls not wanting to presume anything about what Penelope is trying to do.

”Not those. The ones they’re nested in,” she instructs.

Colin pulls out the ones she specified, the big bowls that were almost the size of a small mixing bowl. The ones his family affectionately refer to as a small Colin serving. Once the bowls are safely on the counter, Penelope silently indicates that he should take them to the kitchen island and have a seat. She then busies herself taking out two cartons of ice cream from the fridge— vanilla and chocolate, and brings those to the kitchen island as well, before retrieving a scooper and a mug of hot water from the tap.

“Now is the time you explain yourself and all this.” Penelope motions towards him with her hand. Colin knew that this moment was bound to happen sooner or later and that it would most likely be with Penelope. He knew some of his family and friends weren’t taking too well to his new appearance, but he was tired of still being treated like he was one of the girls by his older brothers. He was tired of being slightly excluded by his track teammates, and sure this was the first year he even participated in a sport but still. He didn’t have many friends at school. There were the other choir and theater guys, but he never really clicked with them outside of rehearsals. His best friends were a middle school girl and a gay girl who went to the private all-girls school in the next town over. In a word, he was an outcast.

Knowing he couldn’t keep this from Penelope, he told her everything. He told her how he was still struggling to find his place in school, especially after being done with the community production of Into the Woods back before the holidays. He told her how he felt like an outsider, but with a spotlight on him because his last name is Bridgerton. He told her that he missed middle school and seeing her every day, especially during lunch. He told her that he couldn’t wait for next year when Michaela would be joining him and her cousin at the same school since her current school only went through eighth grade.

Finally, he told her what had been his tipping point, Friday after school at the start of spring break. Colin had been excited that afternoon. It was the first warm day of the season and he had his hoodie tied around his waist so he could feel the sun on his arms. He and Ben had both gotten out of school early so while Benedict waited in the van, most likely texting his new boyfriend, Colin waited at the front entrance of the middle school for the girls. Students slowly started coming out, but he knew it would still be a bit longer since Daphne had choir seventh hour and her locker was on the other side of the school from the choir room, Frannie was somewhere in the depths of the second floor with all the other sixth graders, and Pen was probably patiently waiting while El debated with whichever poor teacher was her target that day and then would walk with her to her band locker to get her bassoon.

A flash of motion caught his attention from his peripheral vision that he thought might’ve been Daph, but no it was worse, so much worse. He fought an audible groan because it was none other than Cressida Cowper and her cousin Skyler Wilding, one of his teammates from track.

”Bridgerton!” Wilding greeted him. “How’s it hangin’?”

Colin gave him a one-arm hug like guys usually do, with the double pat on the back testing their strength against one another. “It’s Friday before spring break, so I’d say things are good.”

”Dude, I know! A whole week of no school and no practice. Daddy is gonna be sleepin’ in!” Colin tried not to cringe and prayed his sisters and Pen would hurry up. The two guys made idle chit chat for a few minutes until Cressida spoke up.

”Cousin, can we go now? I don’t see why we’re wasting valuable break time talking to this human sack of wasted potential,” she sneered.

”What do you mean, Cress?”

”Well just that he’s weird. Like it’s a shame cause he could be like a 9 if he dressed better and had cooler friends, like you and the other track guys, but he like only hangs out with his sisters and that one Black girl from St. Hedwig’s.” Cressida had the audacity to crinkle her nose in disgust. But before Colin could call out how inappropriate her comment was, she continued, “I mean I bet even Penelope Featherington only hangs out with him cause he’s always there with his sisters. And it’s not like she’s anywhere near popular. No offense Colin, you are just wasting away all your potential.”

It was at that moment as Colin was fighting the beginning of an anxiety spiral and his anger flaring up that Daph, Frannie, Pen, and El all walked out arm in arm with the shortest in the middle and tallest on the sides looking the picture of springtime fun.

”Colin!” Daphne and Francesca shouted before running over to him and throwing their arms around him. He easily caught them both.

”You’re here early!” Daphne proclaimed once she released her brother while little Frannie hung on, arms around his waist.

Colin forced himself to put what Cressida said and that her cousin seemingly agreed with in a cabinet in the back of his mind, knowing he’ll pore over those words later, and instead focused on the girls standing in front of him who meant so much.

”I’ll catch you at practice on Monday, Wilding.” He nodded at his teammate then proceeded to catch up to Eloise and Penelope who had walked further up ahead most likely to avoid Cressida. Daphne and Frannie had looped their arms through his on either side, both still wearing big smiles.

The only part Colin left out in recounting everything to Penelope was the extent of his anxiety spiral that first weekend of spring break. If Cressida hadn’t brought Penelope up in dismembering him with that spiel, he might have been able to brush it off. But she had taken a razor and cut precisely where more of his ego than he wanted to admit was stored, in his friendship with Penelope. Hers was the opinion he valued most and if there was a chance she thought he was a loser, then he had to change that immediately. Only, it took him all of spring break to formulate a plan and begin the starting steps. He could live with the taunts of his family if it meant that Penelope thought highly of him, that she didn’t think of him as some nerd she took pity on.

Throughout the whole time, Penelope simply listened. She showed no reaction except for the acceptance in her eyes. And once Colin was done talking, she only asked a single question.

”Colin, which is your favorite ice cream, chocolate or vanilla?”

Confused, he replied, “Strawberry. You know my favorite is strawberry ice cream with real strawberries in it.”

With the faint twitch of a smirk, Penelope takes the two cartons of ice cream back to the freezer and returns with a single carton instead— strawberry. She calmly scoops out several scoops of strawberry ice cream— with real strawberries of course— into one of the bowls with an unreadable expression. Then puts everything away, returning with two spoons which she places in the bowl between her and Colin.

”I would ask you why strawberry is your favorite flavor,” Penelope begins, “but I already know why.” Her smile is soft and warm, reminiscing on hearing Colin wax poetically. “Strawberry ice cream is whimsical in its simplicity. It’s sweet, but never overly so. But it can still surprise you when you bite into an unexpected piece of frozen strawberry. It doesn’t need anything to make it better because it already is at its best but other flavors complement it when the fancy strikes.” Colin simply nods, hearing the words he has said to her and his family over the years when it came to his love of strawberry ice cream.

”Don’t you see, Colin?” Penelope asks then continues when confusion drifts into his eyes. “You’re strawberry, Colin. The opinions of people who can’t see beyond vanilla or chocolate, like Cressida and the guys on the track team, are not worth your energy or time. The people that matter, that love you, will always welcome strawberry at the table.” Penelope blushes because she includes herself in the group of people who love Colin. Though Colin does take note of how pretty Penelope is when she blushes, he is more mesmerized by how profoundly she sees him, all the way down to his marrow. His face slowly begins to take on the glow of awe as everything she said settles into the fractures Cressida’s words had created. He can’t believe she used a food analogy to help him see himself clearly again.

”I think I’m going to take another shower to wash off this body spray and change into something more… strawberry.” Colin takes a whiff of his shirt and grimaces. “It doesn’t smell very good does it?”

”No,” Penelope says as she barely keeps the laughter that is bubbling up out of her voice. Both look at each other and burst out laughing. “Go on then, I’ll be here with this delicious bowl of strawberry ice cream and two spoons.”

”I’ll be back, don’t eat it all without me!” Colin told her as he began to race up the stairs, both still laughing.

——— * * *———

Colin, now dressed as himself again, and Penelope are both laughing in the kitchen after Colin got a brain freeze from daring himself to eat as much ice cream as he could in 30 seconds when Eloise gets home about forty minutes later, Benedict and Francesca in tow. The latter two simply widen their eyes taking in their brother’s return to his normal, give Penelope a small nod, and go off to occupy themselves until dinner.

”What’s so funny?’ Eloise asks and then notices Colin’s clothes. “Finally. Thanks for fixing my brother and resetting him back to his normal tolerable settings.” Colin rolls his eyes and gives Penelope a can-you-believe-her look which makes her giggle.

During their exchange, Eloise proceeds to go upstairs towards her room where she and Penelope can usually be found on a Friday evening before dinner. When she notices that Penelope isn’t following her, she turns around to ask, “Aren’t you coming?”

”I’ll see you at dinner,” Penelope tells Colin as she walks past him to follow Eloise. But he stops her by gently grabbing at her wrist and then slides his hand down to hold hers.

When she meets his eyes he utters a soft, “thank you,” which makes both of them blush.

”Of course. You’re my,” Penelope looks towards the stairs, making sure Eloise is out of earshot or distracted before turning back to face Colin. “You’re my best friend, Strawberry.” She blushes again and quickly squeezes Colin’s hand three times before letting go to hurry after Eloise who had started asking her something.

Taking the empty bowl and spoons to the sink to rinse them, Colin notices that he can’t help the big grin he feels growing on his face and murmurs to himself, “You’re my best friend too, Pen.”