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Travis stands over the grave, shovel in hand. He has thought through every step of this plan thousands of times. The potions, the silk threads, the jars of applesauce, the air mattress on his bedroom floor. Every single thing was meticulously accounted for.
Keeping it all hidden wasn’t hard. Jawn barely leaves his room these days. Otto and Awsten are more interested in each other. The new guy doesn’t know what Travis is like normally, so has no reference for what might be weird. It was as simple as not telling them what he was doing.
Everything is in place. All he has to do is dig a hole, open the casket, and pull the remains out. It’s easier not to think of him- it as a person. Once he's home, it’s just a matter of magic. He can do magic, it’s the one thing he’s good at.
But he stands here, frozen. He can’t make himself do it.
His best friend is down there. He remembers the funeral. Only he and Jawn attended - Otto couldn’t come in the daylight and Awsten couldn’t face it without him.
It was cold. Jawn cried the whole time, face buried in one of Lucas’ old scarves. Travis… couldn’t. He still hasn’t. He just stared at the coffin the whole time, trying to comprehend that his best friend was in there. It seemed impossible. Lucas was so big, so full of life. How could they fit him in a wooden box, a six feet hole?
Maybe they didn’t. What if there was a mix up of some kind? How does he know for sure that Lucas is even in there?
He has to know.
Travis plunges his shovel into the ground.
“I don’t know what else to tell you.” Travis says as he fiddles with his alchemy machine. “Other than Geoff moving into your old room, not a lot has happened.”
Lucas doesn’t speak. He hasn’t been able to since he woke up. All he could do was stare up at Travis, eyes wide and terrified. When Travis explained himself, Lucas calmed down a little. His hands have started to twitch as they regain feeling.
They’re getting somewhere. It’s working. Even though he can’t talk, even though all he can eat is the applesauce and potions poured down his throat.
Travis hums. He’s gotten used to talking to himself, letting his thoughts out into the room. “I think I’m gonna give you another one of these potions. It’s a bit early, but if you’re already moving-”
“J- J-” Lucas croaks, a noise like a crackling fire.
Travis whips around to look at him. “Did you make that noise on purpose?”
“J- J- Jaw-” Lucas coughs. Travis crouches by his bed and strokes Lucas’ hair. It comes out in clumps. “Jaaaaaw-”
“Jawn? Are you trying to say Jawn?” Travis asks, sitting back on the air mattress he has been sleeping on since he brought Lucas’ home. He’s only a little offended that Lucas said Jawn’s name first.
Lucas manages to nod, blinking slowly. His eyes have cleared up a lot since he first woke up. Before they were cloudy but now the irises are making a reappearance. Progress, it’s all progress.
“You can’t see him yet. Not until you’re better.” Travis bites his lip. He doesn’t know when that will be. But it will definitely be at some point, sooner rather than later. “Jawn’s doing alright though. I would tell you if he wasn’t.”
That’s a lie. Jawn is doing worse than ever - Travis hasn’t actually seen him in multiple days. Sometimes Awsten can get him to eat something, sometimes Otto is able to get into his room long enough to brush his hair. Most of the time, though, no one can get through to him.
Lucas will, though, once he’s better.
Groaning, Lucas tries to lift his arm. He gets it a few inches off of the bed before he drops it again. Travis takes his hand and squeezes it. Lucas doesn’t squeeze back - Travis tells himself it’s because he’s not able to.
“I told you I’d always look after you.” Travis whispers. “That’s all this is.”
Lucas grunts. He doesn’t approve.
It’s time. Lucas is better, or as well as Travis can make him. He can walk - sort of - and talk - a little. But how to tell the others? How to get Lucas back into their lives.
Travis can’t tell them what he did. He just can’t. They wouldn’t understand. Maybe they’d even hate him.
He would lose everything, possibly including Lucas. No, he can’t go through that again.
“Sorry. I know it’s cold.” Travis helps Lucas kneel in the dirt in the middle of the back yard. He isn’t sure if Lucas can even feel the cold yet, but he’s sorry regardless. “Just wait until I’m inside, okay?”
“Why?” Lucas croaks. He’s managing full words most of the time now.
“Please, trust me on this.” Travis begs. “It’s better this way.”
Lucas stares at him. “Jawn?”
“Yeah, then you can see Jawn, I promise.” Travis backs towards the kitchen door. He isn’t bitter that Lucas only wants to see Jawn, not at all.
“Why did you do this to me?” Lucas sks. It’s the first full sentence he has spoken since he woke up.
“Because I love you.” Travis says. He doesn't have a better explanation than that.
“This isn’t love.”
Devotion is a form of love. It must be, or they wouldn’t be here. Travis wouldn’t have done all this. He steps into the kitchen and closes the door.
A moment later, like he hesitated, Lucas starts to scream.